Hens from Hell

I don’t normally read chick lit, but if it was more like Hens from Hell, perhaps I would. Author Katina Jones has presented us with a fast-paced romp set in the backdrop of the beautiful island of Ibiza. I could almost hear the soundtrack to the Mama Mia movie playing in the background as I read.

First person is used to advance most of the story, and I think this gives the novel quite a bit of a unique flavor that we don’t normally find. It helps that main character Abigail is quite a character. Her inner-most thoughts are absolutely hilarious most of the time, and always interesting.

In a way, the first person narrative helps us to identify with Abigail. Then whenever she is tempted or perplexed, it’s like the reader is being challenged. Given that a book like this should have as its main goal letting readers escape reality, this is an effective way to accomplish this.

I see little reason why Hens from Hell could not be published in its current form (once finished). Given that it’s better than 99 percent of the chick lit out there on the market right now, I think it would prove wildly successful as a novel. And then a follow-on film project could not be very far behind.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Hens From Hell

reads like a punchy novel, which might be better said: it reads like a script; short sentences and have a kick to them. Each word hits you like you have been just hit. sometimes this is good, sometimes it’s bad, but here it works well. Not many books on here can pull it off. you are one of three.

So here I am reading a script-like chick novel that 99% of the time I don’t like. But I am reading it like I am reading a thriller or fantasy. Just so you know I was hooked the second Blonde tried to get everyone’s attention “Please everyone! This is the bride to be calling. Hello?! Look everyone . . .” just something as simple as this that you would never have guessed while writing it that it would hook this reader. that’s one thing you should know, you’ll never know which character, scene, action, dialogue or word that will capture the readers imagination. This line just told me everything about Blonde, and it was only two and half sentences long. However, it wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t setup properly. AND it told me you know how to right great dialogue. I didn’t have to read any more to second guess myself.

What I find funny is how this ENTIRE chapter was just really Blonde trying to get the girl’s attention, and I was entertained by that. I’m not embarrassed but impressed because if you would have told me that’s what’s the chapters about I would have never read this EVER. Sorry. But again I don’t read girl books.

So . . . your writing was spot on, you never go to the extreme, just enough to excite us, and you know how to make us smile. Perfect example is when the stupid :) finally listened and cheered. Good moment and that’s what pulls me in. Nothing else about the story but just how you execute so brilliantly. 6 stars without doubt.

Quick suggestion: I would end the chapter right after “there was a chorus of cheers” it just would make the reader (maybe some guys, too) to continue.

Hens from Hell

I'll be honest, Kat, when my wife said: "You read this. I'm just going to rave on about it like an idiot and say nothing constructive", my heart sank. Only the week before she'd made me read Sue Margolis's Neurotica and it made me want to pull all my teeth out.

This on the other hand was a joy from start to finish - a kind of Bridget Jones goes to Ibiza with lashings of Welsh-style wit, warmth and humour. I particularly like the central "voice" of Abigail, with its chatty, stroppy, affectionate observations on just about everything from the pecadillos of her fellow hens (I loved Molly's 'feeder' boyfriend with the flesh perversion!) to inventive ways to shut up her own boyfriend Rob (book him in for a Back, Sac and Crack, LOL!). The choice of Ibiza as a setting is inspired too - brought back fond memories of my having no memories of it at all due to alcohol poisoning.

I have only one complaint - where's the rest of it? Is Abi going to get it on with Cruella, the dishy drag queen brother of her ex-lover's girlfriend? Is the Max Factor 20 going to run out and ruin Abi's perfect tan? Is Gin going to strap medallion man to his yacht with her pink fluffy handcuffs? Oh, the suspense is too much...

Wishing you luck with this, Kat - it's hilarious!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires


(*nits, just two. Second para, chap 2, you don't need the second 'yet'. And chap 11, in the para with 'middle-aged men' in it, you switch tense a couple of times?)

Hooray - the new Bridget Jones! Made me wish I was at the airport choosing something to read on the plane on my way to somewhere hot, peopled by stud muffins [ are there any other phrases, that one gets a lot of outings - what about Knobissimo, or Buttcake, or Bonkjoy - you know the kind of thing]. Under her cleavage, Abi is a chicklit heroine de nos jours with a heart. Great story, economically told, and sure to make it to ED - I'm giving it 6 stars and a shelving at the crucial end of the month time. Best of luck with it, Frances K.

Well Kat, you've surpassed yourself with this edit. Absolutely brilliant. I love the new character Babs, fantastic idea! I've read to chapter 10 and so far so fantastic.

Please let me go to Ibiza with those girls, I could do with a break. But hey, I'll soon be there with them as you paint such a vivid picture of each scene. All I need is a bottle of wine and I'm sorted!

Let there be a world free of guilt, cheating, money and the books about them...amen

Certainly worth all the support

A very nice reading which could be termed as highly remarkable and deserves 6 stars. Will put it on my book shelf soon.

I'm only through chapter 4, but I'm enjoying it so far. I like the lively charcaters and dialogue--it's gotten more than a few laughs out of me so far. Plus, it's a great escapist read. I wish I was the one on a girls' trip to Ibiza. I'm looking forward to reading more.

I've not read any chick lit except for on writers websites like this, but I wanted to try yours since it was at number 2. I wish I could give some sort of help, but since I don't know how the genre typically reads, I'll just leave you with two notes: 1) the pace was fast and light. 2) Your tone seems choppy, but I can understand how this might fit in with your genre. If it doesn't I'd fix it. Good luck with your publication.

Hens from Hell: a very satisfying slice of escapism, punchy and very, very funny as well. I loved reading this - and I read all that was posted, because I just couldn't put it down! The characters are acutely observed, the dialogue is witty and sharp, but totally natural and the pace is non-stop. Pure entertainment at its best. One of only a couple of books, so far here, that I've wanted to read all the way through. I can't wait for the rest to be uploaded!
Good luck.
L x

Cheerful, chatty and realistic, in my opinion - it certainly seems to be. I was entertained and that's what this book is all about. Very happy to back it, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the editor writes.

David

Though not my typical genre of choice, I found a few parts amusing and well written. Besides that, the opening lines did not capture my interest. I started to skim across paragraphs and skipping others. The plot hardly shifted and there was a lot of hugging, kissing, sorority girl moments, typical boy talk, texting language, shallow character design and predictable elements. I do think you have the first person style mastered though. Dialogue sounds fairly believable and in a few rare cases, annoying at times. Many grammar mistakes which could be easily fixed with a good edit. Cover design need work to be more eye-catching, but I like the humorous style. Not a bad read, but I believe it is a far ways away from the editor's desk.

Good luck

It was my pleasure to back your story. It was a fun read.

Katina - well done. You write with wit; the dialogue and storyline is believable. Worthy of backing and getting to the top.
Best wishes.
jennifer

I liked the premise and the title for the book is great!
I ended up only reading the first chapter because the opening lines kind of lost me and I found myself skimming just the first sentence of the following paragraphs.
The story is moved by the conversations but the characters(this is probably just me) blend together and I can't really picture them as individuals in real life.
However, there really must be something here since so many people seem to like it and have it on their shelves. Mine comment is just the comment of a mere reader since I'm not really a writer myself.
All the best and congratulations on your success.

My support to keep your book in the top, Kat! Congratulations for a well-deserved achievement.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Congrats you made it to the top!! :) Best of luck hope you get published!!
Best,
Jt

Ibegan reading this book because I saw it on so many other shelves.To refer to this tale as 'chick lit' does it a great disservice. I'm a male over forty and I found it hilarious, enlightening, and entertaining. A great read! Other than a few typos I could find no fault with the story or the writer. It is definitely going on my shelf.

Hey! You've done marvelously well since I read and rated your book--congrats. If you have the time, I'd really appreciate it if you took a look at my non-fiction chick lit. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

Well Kat, you've surpassed yourself with this edit. Absolutely brilliant. I love the new character Babs, fantastic idea! I've read to chapter 10 and so far so fantastic.

Please let me go to Ibiza with those girls, I could do with a break. But hey, I'll soon be there with them as you paint such a vivid picture of each scene. All I need is a bottle of wine and I'm sorted!

Laughed and loved this. Have no time for detailed comment today - but would very much like to see this make the ED. All the stars and a shelf.

Hens from Hell.
By Katina Grist Jones.

Hi Katina, a nice girlie story you have here, not my usual read but I have enjoyed what you have written so far.
Typical of today’s hen parties abroad in Ibiza…from what I hear.
Abigail's one night stand with Markus and what follows brings the book to life. - Great thinking!
I can see why it's nearing the E/d...Never a dull moment as we read along.
Your book flows well and you have some excellent characters.
Didn't notice anything wrong while reading -It's a brilliant book from what I see.
I have star rated it high…well deserved and I shall be supporting it again in a couple of days when it will stay on my shelf for the duration.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

A passionate tale that displays the latent feelings of a true paramour....Contemporary and enthralling.

Supreme chick lit! Not my genre, but I still admire your glib writing style -- like cotton candy! Well done!
Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

Hi, I am new the site and was looking around at a few first pages for interest - then I read yours, and had to keep reading until the end! I love your story; your light-hearted tone is easy to read, the dialogue made me laugh out loud several times and I adore your characters. Highly rated, backed and the first book going on my bookshelf!

Best of luck, I hope to read the rest of it in print!

One big push to get this excellent book onto the editors desk.
Yours Bea

Not my usual genre but full of humour even a bloke can appreciate (and have us wondering at what women really think). Would be interesting to see how this develops, especially the situation with Rhiannon!

Agree with others that the title and chapter titles are great and the book would do very well commercially.

Think there might be a word missing in chapter 6 'but it's the ______ I don't trust'

MIke Thomas
Rudolph Goes Bananas

Hi Katina
This has been on my list for ages - so sorry it's taken this long to read it! Read the first three chapters and they flew along at a great pace. No issues with this at all. Not a big chick lit fan (with the exception of the phenomenal Marion Keyes). However, this seems a great example and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A lot, actually. You writing is fast and funny and the characters are great. Will be back for more as soon as I can (really). In the meantime, will add you to my shelf over the next few days.
Very best of luck with this
Sheila

My wife read the first 2 chapters and said this is a must read. I'm excited for you and im glad to be the number 300 person to place u on my bookshelf.

Naughty girls, indeed! I think it's the tongue in cheek humour of this that has captured me. Love will, I know, rear its beautiful head again before Abi has finished her delightful tale. Alas I am too far past my prime to go to ibiza, but thanks for taking me there in spirit. Yours, Pan.

Hooray - the new Bridget Jones! Made me wish I was at the airport choosing something to read on the plane on my way to somewhere hot, peopled by stud muffins [ are there any other phrases, that one gets a lot of outings - what about Knobissimo, or Buttcake, or Bonkjoy - you know the kind of thing]. Under her cleavage, Abi is a chicklit heroine de nos jours with a heart. Great story, economically told, and sure to make it to ED - I'm giving it 6 stars and a shelving at the crucial end of the month time. Best of luck with it, Frances K.

Hi Katina

Your book will be staying on my shelf until it gets its medal. Thought you'd like to know!

hugs

Lavinia

I really like the tempo here, and the short chapters that force you to turn the page to read more. The dialogue is also sharp and witty, and paints a great picture. I was a little surprised that Rob's wife is there with you, wanted more info right away on why she is part of this (it appears she is not a close friend). I will hold this on my watchlist and give high stars, but since I don't read chick lit I can't shelve it--sorry. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

I really like the tempo here, and the short chapters that force you to turn the page to read more. The dialogue is also sharp and witty, and paints a great picture. I was a little surprised that Rob's wife is there with you, wanted more info right away on why she is part of this (it appears she is not a close friend). I will hold this on my watchlist and give high stars, but since I don't read chick lit I can't shelve it--sorry. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

What a read!
This is such an upbeat book and yet you still manage to maintain a sense of foreboding as an under current. Abby is such a great main character and some of the dialogue she has with the other girls is just hilarious! Rhiannon is very intriguing and a little disturbing almost in the way that she wants to spend all of her time with Abby.
I also loved your descriptions of Ibiza-i could almost picture myself being their with the girls!
I also think the short chapters managed to make the book flow brilliantly.
Overall this is an extremely polished piece of writing that has us on Abby's side instantly.
A fabulous book!
Really hope you manage to keep your position in the top 5.
starred and backed.
Amy :)

This is great - I love women who have power and confidence in their voice, like Erica Jong, Marian Keyes, and so on, and you have a great voice. It's fun and fearless and heady - like a mental night on the town. But I really like the conflicted love-triangle or quandrangle love plot as well, the underlying doubt and vulnerablity behind the spray tan and bling. Whatever you say, whatever you do, you cannot be unlikable - that's a skill.

I'm looking forward to seeing it on the shelves so I can read more of Hens from Hell! I have no doubt it will get published, it's such a great read. Love the characters and your voice, it's all a pleasant read and I can't think of a single criticism to add.
/Hege
The Silver Bell

I was slightly worried about the writing for this book. As in what reading age where you aiming it for, since it appears (from short sentenced, short paragraph, spaced, lack of polysyllables, lack of subsentences, curtailed grammar and syntax) to be aimed at pre teen girly magasine readers. (Mandy, Jackie etc. etc that ilk)

I have nothing against this but it might be taken by the adult female reader to be patronising to them, especially if you were seriously treating them as daft "Essex Girls" with a lack of English Skills (In'it?)

Perhaps a sort out of what age you were aiming it at would be helpful.

Wild girls having a wild time. Great writing, great fun!

Hi,
This is a fun romp. Your portrayal of the nutsy women before the flight is fun to read (especially the G-string mooning, lol), and I like how you slowly build the tension and the mystery behind the real story. The MC's voice is light and natural. Also, the chapters read easily and quickly; I just wonder if they are a little short?

Nice job, though! Will star it well.

Dyane
The Purple Morrow
The Eagle's Gift

Hi Katina

I love it :-) I wanted to read more, but I don't think the chapters after the 3rd one are finished - am I right???

I think you write really well, and i've stared it highly and put it on my shelf :-)

Good luck!!!

( let me know when you write the rest of the chapters!!)

Just read the first three chapters, and this is a really funny and feelgood romp. Hope to delve further into this excellent read. Well done!

- AJT

Have to confess I don't read much chicklit (mainly because I hate the term chicklit). However, I'm going to stick with this because by Chapter 2 I already NEEDED to know what was going to happento this lot. Great job!

Backed Hens from Hell. Read Chapter 1. Really great start. Each summer 5 of my gal friend and I take a two week vacation. I can relate to the organized chaos in chapter I and Abigail’s pain! Several very funny lines kept me smiling including the part about the g-string (we call them thongs). We always called the spray on tans “fake-and- back tans.” Yes guilty, we got those before leaving on each trip.
Good luck on Authonomy. Hope you will find time to take a look at our book, Dark Side.
CC Brown
Our two book trailers are finally complete. We had both a video and a graphic book trailer created by Destinee Day Productions. Now we need your help. Please go to the two links below. Watch the videos them out and click on “Like” under the video screen and leave a comment. We are interested in which people like best.

Video book Trailer
http://youtu.be/NaNbrDf7VgI

Graphic Books Trailer
http://youtu.be/ZuALZ76nVII

A really nice, upbeat read! :-) Please have a read of my first few chapters and give me a rating. Possibly a space on your shelf? I think your's deserves a place on mine' defo something I would read! x

I finally found time to finish reading Hens from Hell. It is a very fun story. I wish there was more. I want to know how the plot develops. Good Job.

HENS FROM HELL
I like stories about places I’ve never been so your pitch about this being set in Ibiza pulled this in. You have a group of interesting characters and have put them in interesting predicaments. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter. Who Killed the President?

Only planned on reading a couple of chapters before going to bed. Its now 12.30 and read last chapter with one eye open. This is a light fun read, Great book to bring on holidays. Well written and likable characters. I look foreword to reading more.
Wish you the very best,
Olive Field.
Borrowed Light

The brightest book on the site! Genius.

You invited us to the planet of venus - strange but definitely interesting! - and everything else, all the colors turned pastel with hints of fuchsin.

The set backdrops are crisp, chic and current - like some editorial photographs from a fashion magazine - surely would grab the target readers of this genre. The plot promises a close to reality story - biting - but then again, it is bigger than life with characters that women could easily connect being written from a female's perspective - first person - so strong even a male reader would forget his gender with your remarkable female writing voice.

You invited your readers to the planet of venus - and you made us look at things from venus's perspective - classic - but very current.

Most of my poems in my book: "A Traveler's Soliloquies" are gender-less, I intend them to read like the readers - male or female - are actually thinking them. It's my first anthology of poems, illustrated! It's a collection of poem of my personal thoughts, my soliloquies as I journey through life. The poem in the first chapter: "Prologue" is an example of a gender-less poem, the white flower could be female or male. Could be me or you. I hope you find time to read some of the poems and connect while you eavesdrop on my self-talks.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Very engaging. Never a dull moment. For some reason as I read this I kept thinking about the British show ‘Absolutely Fabulous’. I nearly died laughing at the expression… “Back, sack and crack.” Only one typo I found on chapter 7, "In by best little girl voice." (You can see the error). Made it through chapter 9. Will read more later, must be going now :)

Hi Katina,
San Antonio eh? That takes me back, although obviously it weren't no hen party. Great chapters on here. I work with girls who go on these hen weeks/ weekends. It all seems very real. The main reason I enjoy some chick-lit is because there is a lot of good comedy writing within it. Hens from Hell is a fine example of that. Gin is a great character. Your writing flows well and draws in the reader. At times it felt like one of those fly-on-the wall, reality, the only way is Essex type things. I see you're riding high in the ratings; best of luck. Hope you make the editor's desk thingy.
Robert

Oh-oh I sense trouble brewing! Rob is a control freak, right? I have just finished chapter 5. Love, Love, Love it so far: loved how Rob proposed (I got a text so thanks again, Kat, for feeling gutted I didn't get proposed to that way...only kidding).

Hens from Hell is not only amusing but utterly charming. Molly is a bit annoying though, but I really like the main character! Some of the phrases are also a little strange and I am not sure that everyone will understand them. Overall its a good read and I will definitely back it:)