Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 10587
date submitted 09.11.2010
date updated 23.04.2012
genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Romance, Comedy...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Hens from Hell

Katina Grist Jones

Abigail is marrying Rob. Should she confess her guilty secret before she and friends fly to Ibiza for a last week of freedom?

 

Abigail loves Rob, her childhood sweetheart, and can't wait for her wedding. Gin, her best friend insists that she has a last taste of freedom in the clubbing capital of the Mediterranean, Ibiza. A week in the sun, followed by a fairytale wedding and a happy-ever-after with the love of her life.

Everything looks rosy until Markus, Rob's new business partner, turns up.
Why is Abigail so worried about him? Does he know something from her past?

Rhiannon, Markus's glamorous but strange wife, invites herself on the holiday and seems to be spying on Abi. Maybe Abi needs to watch her back.

Will the bride-to-be resist the advances of Ibiza's millionaire playboys and stay true to Rob? Does she want to?

 
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tags

clubs, hens, ibiza, playboys, sand, sea, sex, sun, yachts

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Chapters

1

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Lets Fly, Let’s Fly Away

Me? The neurotic bride-to- be Abigail Montgomery (sometimes nicknamed Blondie – you can probably guess why!).

And next: my very best girl friends (and bridesmaids-to-be) Gin and Lucy. (Gin, by the way, isn’t short for Virginia. Think of the drink.)

Molly, Donna and Angie. 

And Rhiannon. The fact that she’s actually here is a bit scary. I’ll tell you why later.

 

Three hours to take off.

Pink fitted tee- shirts: “Crazy Chicks” on the front, “Abigail’s last fling before the bling!” adorns the back.

 Black hot-pants. Sorted.

Shimmering lip gloss:  for the ultimate pout.

Sun, sand, sea and sexily-clad woman – a lethal combination, or what? 

But who cares? You’ve got us for a week, San Antonio, Ibiza - how lucky are you?

 

We’d made the decision to meet for the airport coach at our local pub, The George. 

So there we were, being helped on our way with a few bottles of vino and some tasty nosh. Loads more of our friends, who couldn’t fly out with us because of work or family commitments, had turned up to see us off.

I had noticed for a while that some of the girls were knocking them back a bit too hastily for my liking. I finished my last mouthful of sirloin steak, took a generous sip of wine and rose to my feet. 

  ‘Can I get every one’s attention, please?’

I tinkled the side of my wine glass with a knife. A few of the girls briefly raised their eyes in my direction, and then carried on chatting and drinking, basically not really taking a blind bit of notice.

  ‘Please everyone! This is the bride-to-be calling. Hello? Look, everyone . . .’   

A couple of the girls cheered and raised their glasses at me.

  Silly tarts!’ I muttered.

I was feeling frustrated: at our pre-Ibiza preparation party a couple of evenings back the girls had all promised, hands on hearts, that they would not get too drunk going to the airport. Just a little tipsy, maybe. They lied, of course, and it’s not just me being paranoid - some of these girls were already wasted, acting as if they were already out in the Med.

  ‘It’s no use,’ I said to Gin, who was smirking at my efforts. ’I’d need a foghorn to get through to this lot. And as for you, Gin, you’re my chief bridesmaid, so sober up for God’s sake and sort those girls out!’

‘You need to take a Valium, Abs and calm down.’

‘Calm down?’ I said.

‘Yes,’ slurred Gin. ‘Chill out.  I’ve got everything under control. Sorted.’ 

I knew it would go pear-shaped with Gin in charge.

‘Sorted?’’I held my breath as Gin stood up on her chair, swaying precariously in her five-inch stilettos. A and E and plaster of Paris flashed through my head. Very un-ladylike, Gin shoved her fingers in her mouth and gave the sort of ear-piercing, whistle that you should only hear at a football match. She grinned down at me as I rolled my eyes.

  ‘Get on your chair, Abs, honey-you’ve got their attention now!’

  ‘Girls! Listen up, girls,’ I called. ‘It’s now ten past one!’ 

I noticed one of the girls, Molly, who had been knocking them back since we arrived – whether she would make it to the airport was anyone’s guess.

Molly, once she saw that she was the focus of attention, bent over and exposed her ample, rounded bottom, her G-string nearly disappearing from sight, and had everyone laughing in hysterics as she playfully slapped her buttocks. I caught the middle-aged barman taking a good look then raise his eyes to the heavens. He had a rummy look on his flabby face which seemed to say: Just give me half a chance. 

Molly noticed me looking at her.

‘Come on, Blondie, give us a song!’ she shouted. ‘Let’s pretend we’re on X-Factor!’

She gave her bottom another lewd wiggle.

‘Never mind the X-Factor,’ I called back. ‘It’s going to be the filth factor with you lot. And you better have some water to drink now, Mol, or you won’t be going at all.’

Molly grinned and stuck her tongue out.

‘Look, everyone,’ I continued. ‘What I’m trying to say is - the coach is getting here at two, so try not to get too paralytic or they won’t let us on the plane. And I’m going - with or without you silly cows!’

There was a chorus of cheers.

I gazed around the room, wide-eyed, watching all the girls chatting away ten to the dozen, all made up like a dog’s dinner, and surrounded by a multi-coloured sea of suitcases. False eye lashes, French manicures and, of course, fake spray tans. We all looked, with our bronzed bodies, as if we’d already spent a week lying on a sun-drenched beach, instead of on our way there. I was trying my best not to be a kill-joy as I watched the girls get excited. God knows what some of them would get up to out there. They might even end up in handcuffs – well, they probably would, but not the fluffy sort they were used to.

It was getting wild even before touchdown in Ibiza.

 

OMG!! Someone familiar caught my eye, flouncing through the swing door.

‘Somebody please tell me . . . ?’ I gasped, gob-smacked, looking in Gin and Lucy’s direction. Getting their attention, I pointed to the door.

‘Tell me that’s not my mother?’ I pleaded. 

I peeped through half-opened fingers, praying that it was the excitement of the occasion -and the drink that was playing tricks on my eyes. Surely my mind wouldn’t be that horrible and spiteful as to make me think that my mother had turned up at my hen do? It had to be a figment of my imagination, didn’t it? I grabbed my glass, closed my eyes, took a long drink, and prayed that she wouldn’t be there when I looked up again. 

 ‘Darling did you honestly think I wouldn’t want to go to Ibiza? As if I’d miss out on my only daughter’s hen party? No chance in hell!

My mother dumped her case, gave me a quick kiss and a hug, followed by a peck on Gin and Lucy’s flushed cheeks. My shock slowly turned to annoyance. How on earth had my mother turned up here uninvited? How did she know where to come?

I looked across at Gin and Lucy. Both of them looked shifty to me. Then they both burst out laughing. I turned back to see my mother doing a twirl in the most awful, eye-scorching pink cat suit. Mutton and lamb were words that forced themselves into my mind. Oh, Christ, why did I have to have such an embarrassing mother?

‘Sit down, Mum. Please?’ 

I sighed and gave her one of my speciality killer looks. She completely refused to read my thoughts – if she had, she would have been dragging her case over to the door, on her way home. Failing that, I wanted a big explanation - and I wanted it right now. I cringed for about the tenth time since she’d arrived. Why has she dressed like an eighteen-year old? Why did her suitcase have a picture of a guy on the front sporting a six-pack? I know Gin’s a bit of an exhibitionist, but she’s a wallflower compared to my mum. She’s always got to be the centre of attention. Well, not this time, mummy dear – this is my party. No way is my own mother going to hijack my hen party. I looked in my bag for a Valium. 

 Sit, mum,’ I said again. My frustration must have been plain to see. ‘I’ll get you a drink.’

 Dry martini on the rocks, hon. Shaken and not stirred, please.

Mum pretended to shoot me with finger. ‘You know, like 007.’

I looked to the heavens. ‘I want a good reason, Mum, why you’ve turned up here, right?’ 

I was stunned when Mum just brushed off my words like dandruff.   

Abi, darling, just get my drink and then I will tell.’ She turned to the others. ‘Hey girls, if looks could kill my daughter would have me ten foot under by now!’

I was seething with frustration at the bar as I watched all the hugging and kissing going at the table. I wasn’t being unreasonable, was I? Oh, God! I had visions of having to babysit my mother day and night for the next week. My mother’s a handful when she’s on her best behaviour but when she’s got a drink inside her – which she was probably planning to have most of the time - she’s totally outrageous. She still thinks she’s twenty-something.

Now don’t get me wrong, Mum is only thirty-nine - she had me at eighteen. Dressed in the right clothes she’d be very attractive, thick blonde shoulder-length hair and bright blue eyes to go with it. But Mum being Mum, she goes her own way. Nothing subtle or refined for her – she loves her thick black false eye-lashes and shocking pink lipstick. All my friends adore her banter and wit - and her filthy language. She keeps body and soul together on a handful of lettuce leaves and chain-smokes thirty fags a day. And she’s a massive flirt. I forgot about that - drink will be the least of my problems when she decides to go tom-titting. Shit, I need to ring my dad for help. Knowing her, Dad won’t have a clue what she’s doing. She’ll kill me telling him, but I’d rather die now than out in Ibiza of embarrassment.

I pulled out my mobile but typically, no answer. He must have been out on one of his construction sites – as usual. So reluctantly, I dialled my beloved. He wasn’t too happy about me going to Ibiza as it was, so I didn’t particularly want to ring him to ask for help now, but I didn’t have a lot of choice. 

Rob? Thank God I got hold of you. I thought you might have gone training.’

‘No, not yet. What’s up babe? You sound stressed.’

 Stressed? I am, Rob and that’s putting it mildly. I need your help. Like in now.

 Ha, don’t tell me. Having last minute worries about going off and leaving me by myself, aren’t you? 

Trust him to start on all that shit again. I could feel tears of frustration welling up.

‘My mums turned up,’ I blurted out. ‘She’s coming to Ibiza!’ 

I’m sure Rob was smirking at the other end. I could hear a funny noise.

Don’t cry, hon,’ he managed to say, eventually. ‘You’ll ruin your make-up.

Fuck my face, you idiot,’ I shouted back. And then realised what I’d said.

Rob laughed outright this time. I was getting madder by the minute and glared at the barman as he brought the drinks. I slammed down a handful of change.

‘You’re a bastard,‘ I said. ‘It’s not a bit funny.’

The barman gave me a nervous look as he scooped up the money.

‘Sorry,’ I mouthed at him.

 ‘Rob, you there?’

 ‘Yeah. Sorry for laughing, babe. I know you told her she couldn’t go. Have you phoned your old man?’

I can’t get an answer. Look, Rob, will you come over and persuade Mum not to go?’

Jesus, Abs, I’d rather face a six-foot-five, 20 stone guy made of iron. I shit myself when your old girl kicks off.’

Oh well, thanks a bunch, Rob. You should see what she’s wearing, as well. I hate to think what else she’s got in her suitcase. I should have guessed what she was planning – she’s been ordering loads off the internet.

‘Look babes, I’ll do my best and drive round to your old man’s site and look for him. Stay calm now, I’ll find him. Let me ring off now, I’m already in the car. Talk soon, love you, babe!

Love you, Rob. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll ring you when I land.

I put my phone away and turned to pick up the drinks. It was only then that I saw Rhiannon. I don’t know how long she’d been standing behind me but she was trying her best to keep a smirk off her face, so it must have been a while.

‘What’s the matter, Abi? You look a tad upset. Rob okay?

Yes, we’re fine, thanks, Rhiannon. I forgot to ask my dad to water my plants. Rob’s going to remind him. That’s all. 

Rhiannon gave me a disbelieving kind of look and headed for the loo.

 

  

There was a loud shout from my table.

Come on Abi! Where’s  Babs drink? She’s already drunk mine and Lucy’s!’

Babs is my mother by the way. She’s been trying to get me to call her that as well recently. She says being called mum makes her feel old. Especially if there’s men around.

Gin came to the bar to give me a hand, so I had a chance to confront her. She swore blind that she didn’t know a thing. But she soon found out I saw through her lying eyes - the bitch! – and we exchanged some harsh words. In a whisper, though, because I didn’t want the other girls to know I was upset. Lucy must have spotted me with a face like thunder and our mouths going ten to the dozen and came over to smooth things out.

It turned out that my mother had been pumping both girls for details of the hen week agenda, but they just assumed it was just because she was concerned for her daughter’s safety out in the big, bad world. Scheming bi . . . Can you call your mother that?

Mum had gone out to have a smoke – and a breather between drinks – but was back now and had joined some of the girls on another table, laughing at some story Molly was telling. Look at her, I thought. She had no intention of going home - she was getting on the plane for Ibiza no matter how much I had a mare, or chucked my toys in the corner. She was doing a Shirley Valentine disappearing act from Dad. In the film I found it hilarious. I wasn’t too sure, now. I tried Rob again. No answer. What a shithouse, scared of my mum. My arse!

Take the drink over to her, girls. I’ll be there now. 

I caught the bartenders eye and pushed my empty glass over. ‘Put a double in there as well, please.

‘Which ones the bride then?’ he asked, grinning and looking over at the laughing girls.

‘Me,’ I said, unsmiling. ‘And that’s the bride’s blushing mother.’

I pointed to Mum, who was now shrieking and waving her arms around.

I see what you mean, love. Best of luck.’

 

Way hey!’ the girls chorused. ‘Here comes Abs.’

I snuggled in amongst them and knocked back half of my drink. I may as well loosen up, I figured, or the trip would be ruined.

Mum raised her glass to me.

‘The girls haven’t stopped telling me how young I look, Abigail. Haven’t you, girls?’

Of course they all nodded like mad.

  Really young - and she’s gorgeous,’ Molly chirped up. ‘I wish I looked like her now, never mind when I’m forty.

  Thirty nine and three-quarters, darlings,’ Mum reminded everyone. She was lapping it up like the cat that had got the cream.

 ‘A lot of people have mistaken us for sisters, haven’t they, Abigail?’

She gave me a wink and I spluttered into my glass.

 ‘Yes, they have, Mu . . . er . . .Babs.’

I planted a grin on my face and glanced at the door again, hoping my dad would turn up at the last minute.

‘Drink up, everyone! Ibiza, here we come!’

 

  

Chapters

1

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HarperCollins Wrote

HENS FROM HELL is a pithy title, and the subsequent book exactly what it says on the tin – fun, boisterous, ladettish. This kind of ‘take it or leave it’ attitude is refreshing, particularly in a crowd-sourcing forum. This novel doesn’t pretend to be anything but a fun and feisty escapist piece, and your refusal to bridge genres to cater to a variety of audiences works in your favour. I honestly didn’t know what to expect from HENS FROM HELL, but I was very pleasantly surprised. The pitch suggests the potential for cliché and irritating characters, but I was hooked from the moment Abi’s boisterous and unapologetic voice burst onto the page.

Abi is an interesting protagonist, mainly because she exhibits such unsavoury character traits without turning off the reader. She’s vain, materialistic and stroppy, but we forgive her for this as you have deftly set up the reader as her friend and confidante. Abi invites us into her world through witty asides and outrageous observations, and we are seduced into overlooking the more distasteful elements of her character as a result. Abi never sets out to win the reader’s favour, but her no holds barred account of events shocks you into submission.

HENS FROM HELL is also paced well. You hurl the reader into the story, but leave enough unsaid for the book to remain compelling. The action kicks-off (or should I say, takes off) on the day of departure; we are flung into the mob of Abi’s flamboyant friends. Using the present day narrative as an anchor to explore past events is a great storytelling device. You disclose just enough to keep the reader on board, and you pull off the difficult feat of maintaining interest in both strands of the story – it is common in structures like this for one strand of the story to dominate, but this wasn’t the case for HENS.

I admit that, whilst reading, I found myself veering between contradictory suggestions for further edits. I’m unsure how to approach the less polished aspects to the story; I worry that stripping them out would compromise the inclusive and honest nature of the narrative. I would also suggest that the conversational tone isn’t commercial enough, but Abi’s voice is so endearing it is hard to advise on how to remedy this. I would say that her voice is a bit mature for a 19 year old – Abi and her friends struck me as a group of 20-somethings. Abi’s a character who knows what she wants, and this kind of self-assuredness didn’t ring true of someone so young. Similarly, I would see the target audience for HENS as late teens to 30s, to whom slightly older characters would likely be more relatable.

There were places where obvious improvements could be made. During the argument with Rob in Ibiza, for example, the writing became quite lax; the dialogue, stilted and unnatural, and the authenticity of voice lost. Here’s an example: ‘Rob, if it’s any consolation to you, I don’t recall a lot of sexual activity between Markus and myself that night. I was obviously very drunk and I do admit that what I did was disgusting and humiliating.’ This sentence is clinical, lacking fluidity of the rest of the narrative.

I suppose a more serious concern would be the casual offenses that creep into the narrative at times. This is a pertinent example: ‘Listen, you poofta,’ shouted back my mother. ‘HOMO! You run my daughter down one more time and I’ll slap you senseless.’ Given the nature of the book, I felt this unbridled outburst to be too excessive; I don’t think the humour sufficiently counters the offensive implications of the tirade.

You also over push your punch lines a little at times, like here: ‘The rest of us were in our eye-popping finery, dressed as fake, fancy-dress nurses. It’s a good job the NHS don’t really have their nurses dress the way we were or the hospitals would be even more over-crowded that they are now – and 99% of the patients would be randy young males.’ You made the joke at hospitals being more overcrowded – going on to hammer in the punch line depletes the comedy somewhat; be careful not to underestimate your reader.

One of the most prominent flaws in the story is Abi’s reaction to the disclosure of her one night stand with Markus. Abi claims that she was date raped, but this came as a shock to me, as I was sure that wasn’t the case. If she is in fact lying, this might be a little too odious to swallow – I was not so blinded with loyalty to the protagonist that I would excuse such flagrant immorality.

Towards the end of the extract, the narrative switches perspective in an intriguing way. The writing style also becomes more poetic, which threw me a little. Rob says: ‘my raging temper had turned into a slow burning anger which cramped my stomach and felt like a lead weight on my chest’. This is nice writing, but the sudden shift feels a little stalling and incongruous. I’m curious to know how this will work through the rest of the novel: do the narratives alternate progressively or do we stick with Rob from now on? I can’t comment properly as the extract ends shortly after his piece begins, but I would warn that Abigail’s voice is so distinctive that it would be a shame to lose that for the sake of shedding light on another aspect of plot. Your single narration has served you well this far.

I really enjoyed HENS FROM HELL. It needs an edit here and there, but I think you have a lot of potential in today’s market. The main draw of this story is definitely Abigail’s unique voice, a hilarious cast of characters, and the escapist Ibiza setting, so it will be crucial to keep these in mind with any developments you make.

Stark Silvercoin wrote 368 days ago

I don’t normally read chick lit, but if it was more like Hens from Hell, perhaps I would. Author Katina Jones has presented us with a fast-paced romp set in the backdrop of the beautiful island of Ibiza. I could almost hear the soundtrack to the Mama Mia movie playing in the background as I read.

First person is used to advance most of the story, and I think this gives the novel quite a bit of a unique flavor that we don’t normally find. It helps that main character Abigail is quite a character. Her inner-most thoughts are absolutely hilarious most of the time, and always interesting.

In a way, the first person narrative helps us to identify with Abigail. Then whenever she is tempted or perplexed, it’s like the reader is being challenged. Given that a book like this should have as its main goal letting readers escape reality, this is an effective way to accomplish this.

I see little reason why Hens from Hell could not be published in its current form (once finished). Given that it’s better than 99 percent of the chick lit out there on the market right now, I think it would prove wildly successful as a novel. And then a follow-on film project could not be very far behind.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Nightdream wrote 235 days ago

Hens From Hell

reads like a punchy novel, which might be better said: it reads like a script; short sentences and have a kick to them. Each word hits you like you have been just hit. sometimes this is good, sometimes it’s bad, but here it works well. Not many books on here can pull it off. you are one of three.

So here I am reading a script-like chick novel that 99% of the time I don’t like. But I am reading it like I am reading a thriller or fantasy. Just so you know I was hooked the second Blonde tried to get everyone’s attention “Please everyone! This is the bride to be calling. Hello?! Look everyone . . .” just something as simple as this that you would never have guessed while writing it that it would hook this reader. that’s one thing you should know, you’ll never know which character, scene, action, dialogue or word that will capture the readers imagination. This line just told me everything about Blonde, and it was only two and half sentences long. However, it wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t setup properly. AND it told me you know how to right great dialogue. I didn’t have to read any more to second guess myself.

What I find funny is how this ENTIRE chapter was just really Blonde trying to get the girl’s attention, and I was entertained by that. I’m not embarrassed but impressed because if you would have told me that’s what’s the chapters about I would have never read this EVER. Sorry. But again I don’t read girl books.

So . . . your writing was spot on, you never go to the extreme, just enough to excite us, and you know how to make us smile. Perfect example is when the stupid :) finally listened and cheered. Good moment and that’s what pulls me in. Nothing else about the story but just how you execute so brilliantly. 6 stars without doubt.

Quick suggestion: I would end the chapter right after “there was a chorus of cheers” it just would make the reader (maybe some guys, too) to continue.

Wussyboy wrote 202 days ago

Hens from Hell

I'll be honest, Kat, when my wife said: "You read this. I'm just going to rave on about it like an idiot and say nothing constructive", my heart sank. Only the week before she'd made me read Sue Margolis's Neurotica and it made me want to pull all my teeth out.

This on the other hand was a joy from start to finish - a kind of Bridget Jones goes to Ibiza with lashings of Welsh-style wit, warmth and humour. I particularly like the central "voice" of Abigail, with its chatty, stroppy, affectionate observations on just about everything from the pecadillos of her fellow hens (I loved Molly's 'feeder' boyfriend with the flesh perversion!) to inventive ways to shut up her own boyfriend Rob (book him in for a Back, Sac and Crack, LOL!). The choice of Ibiza as a setting is inspired too - brought back fond memories of my having no memories of it at all due to alcohol poisoning.

I have only one complaint - where's the rest of it? Is Abi going to get it on with Cruella, the dishy drag queen brother of her ex-lover's girlfriend? Is the Max Factor 20 going to run out and ruin Abi's perfect tan? Is Gin going to strap medallion man to his yacht with her pink fluffy handcuffs? Oh, the suspense is too much...

Wishing you luck with this, Kat - it's hilarious!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires


(*nits, just two. Second para, chap 2, you don't need the second 'yet'. And chap 11, in the para with 'middle-aged men' in it, you switch tense a couple of times?)

FrancesK wrote 135 days ago

Hooray - the new Bridget Jones! Made me wish I was at the airport choosing something to read on the plane on my way to somewhere hot, peopled by stud muffins [ are there any other phrases, that one gets a lot of outings - what about Knobissimo, or Buttcake, or Bonkjoy - you know the kind of thing]. Under her cleavage, Abi is a chicklit heroine de nos jours with a heart. Great story, economically told, and sure to make it to ED - I'm giving it 6 stars and a shelving at the crucial end of the month time. Best of luck with it, Frances K.

Jedye wrote 120 days ago

Well Kat, you've surpassed yourself with this edit. Absolutely brilliant. I love the new character Babs, fantastic idea! I've read to chapter 10 and so far so fantastic.

Please let me go to Ibiza with those girls, I could do with a break. But hey, I'll soon be there with them as you paint such a vivid picture of each scene. All I need is a bottle of wine and I'm sorted!

Albasam wrote 30 days ago

Simply brilliant, my wife loves it.

Tarzan For Real wrote 48 days ago

First let me say that's a great memorable title. The setting of Ibiza was exquisite. Dialogue and first person for Abi were so strong. This is a narrative that is well done. You set good hooks to entice curiosity to read on. This should do well and wish you the sincerest luck.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

Goonerpat wrote 49 days ago

who do you know?

Andy Macready wrote 69 days ago

Upbeat, fast paced and refreshing, really enjoyed reading it.

Should also consider turning your hand to TV sitcoms. Great stuff

Andy

Sting in the Tail

Jeques wrote 73 days ago

Hi Kat!

Congratulations for staying in the top rank last month and making it to the desk. It is always wonderful to see the books I've read made it. Thanks for your great help for my book, been busy for awhile with my regular day work, but I will find time to be active here, again.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Anna Salole wrote 74 days ago

I'm laughing my ass off! Loving Hens from Hell, Katina. Funny, as soon as I started reading, I gave all the girls an Irish accent, I guess the atmosphere reminded me of my second home. Brilliant!

KenQld wrote 83 days ago


G'day! Katina,

Congratulations!

A well deserved win for you - but we can't say we are surprised.

Not when you've got 238 backers - wow!

Mind you, we can't help feeling a bit jealous (well I am) but I doubt if there's many of us who could ever justify such outstanding support..

You are the best of the best!

Regards,
KEN BLOWERS
(For those who don't know: I'm the old English gent living in Australia. I have written no novels, but I have put up six books of short stories and five books of plays.
Plus QUOTE ME : a book of 1,000 quotations, which is my most popular book so far! Here's the link:
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38541/quote-me/
And to see all the books, try this one too:
http://www.authonomy.com/managebookshelf.aspx


KenQld wrote 83 days ago


G'day! Katina,

Congratulations!

A well deserved win for you - but we can't say we are surprised.

Not when you've got 238 backers - wow!

Mind you, we can't help feeling a bit jealous (well I am) but I doubt if there's many of us who could ever justify such outstanding support..

You are the best of the best!

Regards,
KEN BLOWERS
(For those who don't know: I'm the old English gent living in Australia. I have written no novels, but I have put up six books of short stories and five books of plays.
Plus QUOTE ME : a book of 1,000 quotations, which is my most popular book so far! Here's the link:
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38541/quote-me/
And to see all the books, try this one too:
http://www.authonomy.com/managebookshelf.aspx


EmmaHarris03 wrote 84 days ago

Woo Hoo!!! Made it to the desk!! Well deserved, can't wait to read the rest of the book.

So proud, Love Emma and Nick xxxx

P J Edison wrote 85 days ago

Hi Kat. I first read your book when I came on the site and have had it on my shelf for a long time but have just spent a very enjoyable few hours reading your recently added chapters.
Hens from Hell will appeal to a wide readership; it's well-written and full of fun and romance. But there's plenty of tension and conflict, too and it's that heady mix of ingredients that ensures the reader keeps turning the page. Thoroughly deserves its high place. Congratulations and best wishes for a good review.
P J

iandsmith wrote 89 days ago

I’m heading for Ibiza with scheming mum and the hens again. Got them for a week. Jesus wept. It's going to kick off. It’s the Canaries next year. You don’t get this sort of thing in Lanzarote.

Kat’s narrative is lyrical, the voices are iambic, Newport, Caerphilly, the dialogue is truth, the reality is 100%.

There are hearts pumping in Hens From Hell, a bit of seed, filthy knicker jokes, and rummy looks. It’s full of life.

On the outside, they’re a test for your sensibilities.

“Gin gave the sort of ear-piercing whistle you only hear at a football match.”

On the inside, there’s warmth. They care for each other, and not in a superficial, spray-tan way.

“I felt sorry for Lucy, knowing that she was only flying not to let me down on my hen party.”

Not to say there isn’t friction and a dynamic to make the party rather interesting. There’s Rhiannon, Rob’s business partner’s wife, for example. She’s “not quite 100%”, and she's killing Abs with kindness.

Brilliant. Backed again. Going for number one spot because you don’t want to meet Barcelona in the knockout stage.

mightymuffin wrote 92 days ago

Certainly worth all the support

Adeel wrote 93 days ago

A very nice reading which could be termed as highly remarkable and deserves 6 stars. Will put it on my book shelf soon.

BessV wrote 94 days ago

I'm only through chapter 4, but I'm enjoying it so far. I like the lively charcaters and dialogue--it's gotten more than a few laughs out of me so far. Plus, it's a great escapist read. I wish I was the one on a girls' trip to Ibiza. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Jihaaaad wrote 98 days ago

I've not read any chick lit except for on writers websites like this, but I wanted to try yours since it was at number 2. I wish I could give some sort of help, but since I don't know how the genre typically reads, I'll just leave you with two notes: 1) the pace was fast and light. 2) Your tone seems choppy, but I can understand how this might fit in with your genre. If it doesn't I'd fix it. Good luck with your publication.

hot lips wrote 102 days ago

Cheerful, chatty and realistic, in my opinion - it certainly seems to be. I was entertained and that's what this book is all about. Very happy to back it, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the editor writes.

David

Writer in Red wrote 104 days ago

Though not my typical genre of choice, I found a few parts amusing and well written. Besides that, the opening lines did not capture my interest. I started to skim across paragraphs and skipping others. The plot hardly shifted and there was a lot of hugging, kissing, sorority girl moments, typical boy talk, texting language, shallow character design and predictable elements. I do think you have the first person style mastered though. Dialogue sounds fairly believable and in a few rare cases, annoying at times. Many grammar mistakes which could be easily fixed with a good edit. Cover design need work to be more eye-catching, but I like the humorous style. Not a bad read, but I believe it is a far ways away from the editor's desk.

Good luck

J.D. wrote 104 days ago

It was my pleasure to back your story. It was a fun read.

JennyWren wrote 107 days ago

Katina - well done. You write with wit; the dialogue and storyline is believable. Worthy of backing and getting to the top.
Best wishes.
jennifer

WendyJ wrote 108 days ago

I liked the premise and the title for the book is great!
I ended up only reading the first chapter because the opening lines kind of lost me and I found myself skimming just the first sentence of the following paragraphs.
The story is moved by the conversations but the characters(this is probably just me) blend together and I can't really picture them as individuals in real life.
However, there really must be something here since so many people seem to like it and have it on their shelves. Mine comment is just the comment of a mere reader since I'm not really a writer myself.
All the best and congratulations on your success.

Jeques wrote 113 days ago

My support to keep your book in the top, Kat! Congratulations for a well-deserved achievement.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

JMTE23 wrote 113 days ago

Congrats you made it to the top!! :) Best of luck hope you get published!!
Best,
Jt

Gao Zuojia wrote 116 days ago

Ibegan reading this book because I saw it on so many other shelves.To refer to this tale as 'chick lit' does it a great disservice. I'm a male over forty and I found it hilarious, enlightening, and entertaining. A great read! Other than a few typos I could find no fault with the story or the writer. It is definitely going on my shelf.

Caitlin Avery wrote 117 days ago

Hey! You've done marvelously well since I read and rated your book--congrats. If you have the time, I'd really appreciate it if you took a look at my non-fiction chick lit. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

Jedye wrote 120 days ago

Well Kat, you've surpassed yourself with this edit. Absolutely brilliant. I love the new character Babs, fantastic idea! I've read to chapter 10 and so far so fantastic.

Please let me go to Ibiza with those girls, I could do with a break. But hey, I'll soon be there with them as you paint such a vivid picture of each scene. All I need is a bottle of wine and I'm sorted!

FrancesK wrote 120 days ago

Laughed and loved this. Have no time for detailed comment today - but would very much like to see this make the ED. All the stars and a shelf.

Neville wrote 121 days ago

Hens from Hell.
By Katina Grist Jones.

Hi Katina, a nice girlie story you have here, not my usual read but I have enjoyed what you have written so far.
Typical of today’s hen parties abroad in Ibiza…from what I hear.
Abigail's one night stand with Markus and what follows brings the book to life. - Great thinking!
I can see why it's nearing the E/d...Never a dull moment as we read along.
Your book flows well and you have some excellent characters.
Didn't notice anything wrong while reading -It's a brilliant book from what I see.
I have star rated it high…well deserved and I shall be supporting it again in a couple of days when it will stay on my shelf for the duration.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.



cicuta wrote 122 days ago

A passionate tale that displays the latent feelings of a true paramour....Contemporary and enthralling.

Tod Schneider wrote 123 days ago

Supreme chick lit! Not my genre, but I still admire your glib writing style -- like cotton candy! Well done!
Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

Oktober wrote 123 days ago

Hi, I am new the site and was looking around at a few first pages for interest - then I read yours, and had to keep reading until the end! I love your story; your light-hearted tone is easy to read, the dialogue made me laugh out loud several times and I adore your characters. Highly rated, backed and the first book going on my bookshelf!

Best of luck, I hope to read the rest of it in print!

Bea Sinclair wrote 129 days ago

One big push to get this excellent book onto the editors desk.
Yours Bea

Geddy25 wrote 129 days ago

Not my usual genre but full of humour even a bloke can appreciate (and have us wondering at what women really think). Would be interesting to see how this develops, especially the situation with Rhiannon!

Agree with others that the title and chapter titles are great and the book would do very well commercially.

Think there might be a word missing in chapter 6 'but it's the ______ I don't trust'

MIke Thomas
Rudolph Goes Bananas

Sheilab wrote 133 days ago

Hi Katina
This has been on my list for ages - so sorry it's taken this long to read it! Read the first three chapters and they flew along at a great pace. No issues with this at all. Not a big chick lit fan (with the exception of the phenomenal Marion Keyes). However, this seems a great example and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A lot, actually. You writing is fast and funny and the characters are great. Will be back for more as soon as I can (really). In the meantime, will add you to my shelf over the next few days.
Very best of luck with this
Sheila

Davidmauriceware wrote 134 days ago

My wife read the first 2 chapters and said this is a must read. I'm excited for you and im glad to be the number 300 person to place u on my bookshelf.

Goddess Pan wrote 135 days ago

Naughty girls, indeed! I think it's the tongue in cheek humour of this that has captured me. Love will, I know, rear its beautiful head again before Abi has finished her delightful tale. Alas I am too far past my prime to go to ibiza, but thanks for taking me there in spirit. Yours, Pan.

FrancesK wrote 135 days ago

Hooray - the new Bridget Jones! Made me wish I was at the airport choosing something to read on the plane on my way to somewhere hot, peopled by stud muffins [ are there any other phrases, that one gets a lot of outings - what about Knobissimo, or Buttcake, or Bonkjoy - you know the kind of thing]. Under her cleavage, Abi is a chicklit heroine de nos jours with a heart. Great story, economically told, and sure to make it to ED - I'm giving it 6 stars and a shelving at the crucial end of the month time. Best of luck with it, Frances K.

Lavinia Dane wrote 139 days ago

Hi Katina

Your book will be staying on my shelf until it gets its medal. Thought you'd like to know!

hugs

Lavinia

Caitlin Avery wrote 140 days ago

I really like the tempo here, and the short chapters that force you to turn the page to read more. The dialogue is also sharp and witty, and paints a great picture. I was a little surprised that Rob's wife is there with you, wanted more info right away on why she is part of this (it appears she is not a close friend). I will hold this on my watchlist and give high stars, but since I don't read chick lit I can't shelve it--sorry. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

Caitlin Avery wrote 140 days ago

I really like the tempo here, and the short chapters that force you to turn the page to read more. The dialogue is also sharp and witty, and paints a great picture. I was a little surprised that Rob's wife is there with you, wanted more info right away on why she is part of this (it appears she is not a close friend). I will hold this on my watchlist and give high stars, but since I don't read chick lit I can't shelve it--sorry. Cheers! Caitlin Avery, Lightning in my Wires

Amy Smith wrote 140 days ago

What a read!
This is such an upbeat book and yet you still manage to maintain a sense of foreboding as an under current. Abby is such a great main character and some of the dialogue she has with the other girls is just hilarious! Rhiannon is very intriguing and a little disturbing almost in the way that she wants to spend all of her time with Abby.
I also loved your descriptions of Ibiza-i could almost picture myself being their with the girls!
I also think the short chapters managed to make the book flow brilliantly.
Overall this is an extremely polished piece of writing that has us on Abby's side instantly.
A fabulous book!
Really hope you manage to keep your position in the top 5.
starred and backed.
Amy :)

Amy Pope wrote 142 days ago

This is great - I love women who have power and confidence in their voice, like Erica Jong, Marian Keyes, and so on, and you have a great voice. It's fun and fearless and heady - like a mental night on the town. But I really like the conflicted love-triangle or quandrangle love plot as well, the underlying doubt and vulnerablity behind the spray tan and bling. Whatever you say, whatever you do, you cannot be unlikable - that's a skill.

Hege Nabo wrote 145 days ago

I'm looking forward to seeing it on the shelves so I can read more of Hens from Hell! I have no doubt it will get published, it's such a great read. Love the characters and your voice, it's all a pleasant read and I can't think of a single criticism to add.
/Hege
The Silver Bell

I was slightly worried about the writing for this book. As in what reading age where you aiming it for, since it appears (from short sentenced, short paragraph, spaced, lack of polysyllables, lack of subsentences, curtailed grammar and syntax) to be aimed at pre teen girly magasine readers. (Mandy, Jackie etc. etc that ilk)

I have nothing against this but it might be taken by the adult female reader to be patronising to them, especially if you were seriously treating them as daft "Essex Girls" with a lack of English Skills (In'it?)

Perhaps a sort out of what age you were aiming it at would be helpful.

Charlotte12 wrote 147 days ago

Hi,
This is a fun romp. Your portrayal of the nutsy women before the flight is fun to read (especially the G-string mooning, lol), and I like how you slowly build the tension and the mystery behind the real story. The MC's voice is light and natural. Also, the chapters read easily and quickly; I just wonder if they are a little short?

Nice job, though! Will star it well.

Dyane
The Purple Morrow
The Eagle's Gift

Tate Reese wrote 150 days ago

Hi Katina

I love it :-) I wanted to read more, but I don't think the chapters after the 3rd one are finished - am I right???

I think you write really well, and i've stared it highly and put it on my shelf :-)

Good luck!!!

( let me know when you write the rest of the chapters!!)

ajt1234 wrote 151 days ago

Just read the first three chapters, and this is a really funny and feelgood romp. Hope to delve further into this excellent read. Well done!

- AJT

Emsbabee wrote 153 days ago

Have to confess I don't read much chicklit (mainly because I hate the term chicklit). However, I'm going to stick with this because by Chapter 2 I already NEEDED to know what was going to happento this lot. Great job!

ccb1 wrote 155 days ago

Backed Hens from Hell. Read Chapter 1. Really great start. Each summer 5 of my gal friend and I take a two week vacation. I can relate to the organized chaos in chapter I and Abigail’s pain! Several very funny lines kept me smiling including the part about the g-string (we call them thongs). We always called the spray on tans “fake-and- back tans.” Yes guilty, we got those before leaving on each trip.
Good luck on Authonomy. Hope you will find time to take a look at our book, Dark Side.
CC Brown
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Zerin Mewa wrote 156 days ago

A really nice, upbeat read! :-) Please have a read of my first few chapters and give me a rating. Possibly a space on your shelf? I think your's deserves a place on mine' defo something I would read! x

MDN wrote 156 days ago

I finally found time to finish reading Hens from Hell. It is a very fun story. I wish there was more. I want to know how the plot develops. Good Job.