The Travelchair

How totally wonderful you are, John!! :) Thank you so very much for backing my memoirs/testimony book :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I have gold ******-rated your book :) - hope you've ****** 'd mine, too. Every ****** -ing & backing more than 24 hours moves our books up authonomy's lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf because, I'm #1 on the editor's desk & I don't want to lose traction & to remain in the top 5 to be chosen February 28. :) Please read my profile page: I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 24 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after almost 1 year of trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks this past year.

John,
I love the concept of The Travelchair. I have often wished I could return to an earlier time when the pace of life was slower and meet many people who have become historical characters in my story. I don't know that I would want to buy antiques and bring them back to the present for resale, but Jack's adventure makes a very interesting story. I've rated The Travelchair with six stars.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Dear John, I love your idea as you tell in your pitch of going back in time from 2005 to 1930 to bring antiques back & sell & be rich & could hardly wait to read how this time travel would happen? :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs were amazing, providing a great read. :) I'm sure that I would not like to do like Jack did & even in the last scene of chapter 59, I was feeling what Jack was feeling as he talked to the farmer & his learning about the cousins & the twin sisters :) - since I have a twin, it was really up close & personal, as I tried to relate to being in that situation :) - great twist at the end. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & also to at least 24 hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :)

The book starts with a great first paragraph mentioning time travel and then drops in a description of all the people at the hotel. I wondered why I needed to know about them all so soon since I was really interested in hearing more about the time travel. I guess all these people stayed/worked there during the 1920s.
The plot sounds great but I think you need to organize progress better. Apart from the first paragraph I don’t get the first chapter. The mention of time travel should be at the end of the first chapter to encourage people to turn the page.
These comments are only my view and I hope you find them helpful.
You should try to avoid using ‘that’ if you can since it slows down the pace. ‘When he was convinced that he was alone…’ you don’t need ‘that’. Try reading the sentence out loud with and without ‘that’. Since we have not heard before about ‘The grandfather clock was standing…’ you could say ‘A grandfather clock stood…’ in my view this adds more impact. The next 4 sentences start with ‘He’ rewording might make it more interesting. ‘At the first opportunity’ – what does this mean? Maybe start with telling us ‘A thick hedge bordered the road…’ and then where he hid it and why.
‘Walking along the road at 3.00am in the moonlight…” you already told us this information in the second and third sentences, you don’t need to repeat it. ‘…back in time to 1930.” Do not add anything to this paragraph after this revelation since it dilutes the impact.
I would move the sentence ‘Henry was one of those…’ to be the last part of the paragraph and I would lose ‘caring’ since the story should SHOW us they are caring.
‘Joseph especially looked forward to…’ the POV moves from Jack to Joseph. Then, ‘Mrs. Sheldon had thoughtfully..’ who’s POV (opinion) is this?
‘Henry considered…’ switches to his POV.

:) comment to follow after I've read your book - read & commented on 8 hours later :)

I think that one of the most difficult concepts to master when writing anything is the pacing. As thoughts tumble through your head, you set them to paper at a pace that tries to match them. I would love to see you rewrite the opening of this book, slowing down the pace, and introducing us more slowly to the large cast of characters. Take more time with the opening scene, to build more suspense, and break up the narrative with dialog. You have a great concept for a story, but in your enthusiasm to tell it, don't forget to pace yourself!