GEORGE ST. BERNARD SHAW and other tails from an African farm

hi CHERRY. GEORGE ST. BERNARD SHAW'

just read the first three chapters, and yes, this is a book with a difference. Family life on a farm with the animals comes across as as delightful read indeed . you have a nice easy going style of writing which flows along at a nice pace, there is a feel of i ivolvement. here and i like the way you confine your story to the family and farm rather then dwell on other happenings at that time, nothing worse then a book straying away from the main story.
like the line 'the two gras owls stared back in abject terror at ten astonished eyes'
to have ' girls keep out ' in bold red type! well i suppose it different!
backed
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
can you back mine if you like it please and maybe put it on you bookshelf thanks

My only comment, wish you would upload more chapters. 8-)

Some advice I found useful. Best to reserve the use of apostrophes for feelings of astonishment rather than any heightened emotion, otherwise they lose their potency.

In the first section, you probably only need an apostrophe after the words 'look' and 'Walkerville'. Otherwise, use italics to emphasise a word, such as 'grazing'.

"Butch, look!" I shrieked excitedly, waiving the newspaper before my other half's astounded nose. "There's a smallholding for sale near Walkerville! It says . . ."

Hope you find this of some use.

Laith

Aaaah... that thin film of red Transwana dust... reminds me of my earlier life on the highveld... I know nothing about editing and have no comments of literary assistance... only that I'm enjoying your lively tale... as an ex-PE ma-plotter I fully 'get' what you're on about! Well starred and enjoyed ;-)

Cheers for now,
AJ

PS: Hi again Cherry, I've now read every word... when can we have more? PLEASE??? I have really enjoyed your light hearted banter... the only moment that wasn't too welcome was when you related Butch finding George... even that passage you handle with style! Please give us the rest of the tale... ****** ;-)

Cheers again,
AJ

HI Cherry, Wpw I finally got to your novel. From the breaking of the arm by jumping out of the tree to giving away Houdini to a neighbor and the plump runaway mouse. I laughed and enjoy your writing. Good Show i will place it on my Shelf. Harold Alvin (ICON)Wesley

Cherry - George St Bernard Shaw is everything it promises to be and more, backed with stars by Balepy of "Freckles the Fawn" I find it so interesting as I also have an African background as my book describes. - keep writing!

George St. Bernard Shaw
A charming look back at life as it was, filled with humor and anecdotes that warm the heart and tickle the soul. I was especially interested because we are writing, not on a similar subject, but, as in the true life genre, your concentration on the precious light -hearted memories that create a family farm adventure. My guess is that you could separate portions into separate chapters and reorganize a bit, but it seems to work with others the way it is, so it's probably simply my preference. I will glad star and place on shelf as soon as I am able.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Hi Cherry,pleased to find a space on my shelf for your book.
What a breath of fresh air your book is.
Taking on a project such as you did requires a lot of hard work, the dedication to make it work keeps the reader involved in its progress.
Lots of humour in your book together with times of desperation.
We hear in life of people wishing to get away from the everyday rat race of todays society and do what you did.
They would probably have different expectations after reading your book - or would they, after all there are some very happy times.
Loved your book, pleased to shelve it. RATED.

Kind regards,

Neville THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

Hi Cherry - liked the reminiscences and even the false memory trails you put down in the opening chapter. It's a well-written account of family life, and also a "starting out" book detailing a fresh journey for you and your family, as well as looking back over older ones. Charming work

Pat

Lots of stars! Cheers,
M

- Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

A very entertaining read. Backed and starred.

Have you read any James Herriot? It might help you with editing:
Never a good idea to open with speech. In fact its an acknowledged turn-off for publishing editors. Also, and most of us are guilty of this - it's too fast. You've got to slow the pace. Read aloud as for an audio book. This will also help you to re-jig, where necessary, some of the sequences. It is certainly a catchy jacket and alerting title. The premise is both charming and educational and I would imagine that there's a massive market out there for this type of material. I truly wish you success.

An enchanting and absorbing read. You are clearly a very articulate person and this translates well in your style of writing.
You manage to convey a lightheated look at your exploits although at times, I guess they were testing. Snippets of humour add to the mix making this an immensely readable book.
On my shelf with pleasure. Margaret.

You're right, Cherry, this is a lovely book. I love stories like this, I have all the James Herriot books, and lots of other real-life books . It's something I've always wanted to do - live on a farm, but it wasn't to be, but this book is the next best thing! Have give it a 'Cherry' rating. Well Done. Backed with delight and on watch list.

Kate Grimes - LIZZIE- CUPPA TALES

You have a wonderful writing form and your memoires show off that skill extremely well. Creative, and stirring, yet tongue in cheek. I really enjoyed the read. I haven't found anything to criticise that hasn't been said already. Well done, and good luck.

Shakat
Stand

Wow, I love this book. I couldn't put it down. The descriptive writing, especially, "long term memories are selective, adding window dressing to ordinary events." Enjoyed the marijuana description, but not sure about the Guy Fowkes moniker. Perambulating feet, nice. I know about pin oak trees as I lived in Texas for a short while, proof of pangae, since species are shared with your continent as well as Australia. I love the name of the dog. It would be nice to devote a chapter to the car ride home without brakes, that deserves more time. I only found one typo and it is : Eva can to believe that animals were to be terrorized, should be came.
Backed with pleasure.
Roberta

Dear Cherry,
I like very much your memoir. Well written, humorous, well structured, this brought back wonderful memories of my childhood when my parents moved my sister and me onto a 300 acre farm in western Pennsylvania. I was almost killed by Houdini's cousin. Most people have no idea how dangerous farms are. Best of luck. I'll give this several stars and find a place soon for it on my shelf.
Caroline
Summer Rose

A gently amusing, anecdotal tale of family life. Shades of a South African based "Week in Provence".

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

A charming and amusing anecdotal story, nicely told. My mum would love this! My only thought was that, here and there, it might help to add a little explanation for a non South African readership. Places and animals that are familiar to you may need a little explaining to European or US city dwellers. Kiewiets and rinkhals, for example. And SABC. Plus I would have liked a more in-depth introduction to your husband and children at the start, to help place them and their life stories in my mind. I am curious to know how the rest of it goes ...

Thanks Roman, and especially for pointing out my shortfalls! Much appreciated. I should have thought of that.

Cherry

I feel that I have been scooped up by a whirlwind and catapulted into your life. I love your style, you have observed everything and imbued it with your wry take on life. I just smile as I read and the fluency carries me along. I have to put this on my shelf with a great star rating, well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Thank you Patrick. I bet you didn't enjoy mine as much as I enjoyed yours! I love your writing!!!!

Cherry

Liked this story a lot. Many times I burst into laughter at the various humourous happenings. Will definitely back this.

Thank you Petronella. I had a lot of fun remembering the past when i wrote it. :o)

Cherry

Liked this story a lot. Many times I burst into laughter at the various humourous happenings. Will definitely back this.

Very amusing and well written. I find it truly entertaining. Best of luck with this. Backed Jedward (Knut)

Charming story. It's not exactly my cup of tea but that doesn't change the fact that you do have an excellent and smooth writing style. It's a nice peek into, i'm assuming, your family life. :) *Neicy*

I feel that I have been scooped up by a whirlwind and catapulted into your life. I love your style, you have observed everything and imbued it with your wry take on life. I just smile as I read and the fluency carries me along. I have to put this on my shelf with a great star rating, well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

A charming and amusing anecdotal story, nicely told. My mum would love this! My only thought was that, here and there, it might help to add a little explanation for a non South African readership. Places and animals that are familiar to you may need a little explaining to European or US city dwellers. Kiewiets and rinkhals, for example. And SABC. Plus I would have liked a more in-depth introduction to your husband and children at the start, to help place them and their life stories in my mind. I am curious to know how the rest of it goes ...

interesting prose style. will read more

I guess it is. I write as I think, that's all :o)

Hi from sunny South Africa!

I'll read your book and rate it within the next 3 days. Thanks so much for offering to rate mine. It's gone up by 1000 rank points in the last 2 days but I'm not naive enough to think it's my talent! I just worked hard at asking people to read it. This system is very weird! Does it actually work or am I wasting my time?

Have a lovely week
Cherry

interesting prose style. will read more

hi CHERRY. GEORGE ST. BERNARD SHAW'

just read the first three chapters, and yes, this is a book with a difference. Family life on a farm with the animals comes across as as delightful read indeed . you have a nice easy going style of writing which flows along at a nice pace, there is a feel of i ivolvement. here and i like the way you confine your story to the family and farm rather then dwell on other happenings at that time, nothing worse then a book straying away from the main story.
like the line 'the two gras owls stared back in abject terror at ten astonished eyes'
to have ' girls keep out ' in bold red type! well i suppose it different!
backed
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
can you back mine if you like it please and maybe put it on you bookshelf thanks

I certainly will, Tom. And thank you for your kind comments.
Cherry

hi CHERRY. GEORGE ST. BERNARD SHAW'

just read the first three chapters, and yes, this is a book with a difference. Family life on a farm with the animals comes across as as delightful read indeed . you have a nice easy going style of writing which flows along at a nice pace, there is a feel of i ivolvement. here and i like the way you confine your story to the family and farm rather then dwell on other happenings at that time, nothing worse then a book straying away from the main story.
like the line 'the two gras owls stared back in abject terror at ten astonished eyes'
to have ' girls keep out ' in bold red type! well i suppose it different!
backed
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
can you back mine if you like it please and maybe put it on you bookshelf thanks

hi CHERRY. GEORGE ST. BERNARD SHAW'

just read the first three chapters, and yes, this is a book with a difference. Family life on a farm with the animals comes across as as delightful read indeed . you have a nice easy going style of writing which flows along at a nice pace, there is a feel of i ivolvement. here and i like the way you confine your story to the family and farm rather then dwell on other happenings at that time, nothing worse then a book straying away from the main story.
like the line 'the two gras owls stared back in abject terror at ten astonished eyes'
to have ' girls keep out ' in bold red type! well i suppose it different!
backed
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
can you back mine if you like it please and maybe put it on you bookshelf thanks

I spent some time working in SA before independence and the best thing about life there was being white. I'm sure you had no intention of politicising your story but spare a thought for those who know what life was really like at that time...especially if they happened to be black! The childlike exultation of memories recalled of wonderful spacious houses and yachts and fertile farmland etc sticks in the craw when set against the background of apartheid...whether you like it or not! Sorry...not for me I'm afraid.
Best wishes
Stewart

I can really relate to this-having a 'mad farm' myself. The escaping pig story is so real. I have a sheep who thinks she's a dog and have discovered animals are much more entertaining than people. A good read, will continue with it later.

Hi Cherry

You certainly have a unique and colourful experience to recall and many of your anecdotes are funny and charming.

All the same, I found it a frenetic collection of incidents and episodes rather than a story. There are times you recollect events long past and other occasions when we suddenly leap a month or two into the future.

That's all well and good, but I think the book would work better if you could tell the story in a chronological order - or at least appear to. That way (as the story unfolds), we can travel along with you.

Your writing conveys a tremendous enthusiasm and a genuine warmth however, which is certainly a plus.

Thank you so, so much for your crit! I guess we all think our children are the most beautiful and talented but that is not necessarily the truth. I will certainly work on that because I can recognise a valuable observation when i see it. Thanks again.

CherryOnTop

Hi Cherry

You certainly have a unique and colourful experience to recall and many of your anecdotes are funny and charming.

All the same, I found it a frenetic collection of incidents and episodes rather than a story. There are times you recollect events long past and other occasions when we suddenly leap a month or two into the future.

That's all well and good, but I think the book would work better if you could tell the story in a chronological order - or at least appear to. That way (as the story unfolds), we can travel along with you.

Your writing conveys a tremendous enthusiasm and a genuine warmth however, which is certainly a plus.

GEORGE ST BERNARD SHAW
This is a funny autobiographical account. Lots of amusing anecdotes and written with a good hand. This should do well in the Harper True life section. I passed this MS over to my husband to take a peek and he thought it very good.
Well done - starred with very good marks
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

Thanks Faith. I'm still so new to Authonomy and the whole process of getting one's MS into a position where it is noticed by those who count is rather daunting, to say the least! Again, thanks for your comments and ratings!

Cherry

George St Bernard Shaw
Untimely death of my (late)? or ex husband?other than that it's good writing
Will give it a four star rate
Eveleen

GEORGE ST BERNARD SHAW
This is a funny autobiographical account. Lots of amusing anecdotes and written with a good hand. This should do well in the Harper True life section. I passed this MS over to my husband to take a peek and he thought it very good.
Well done - starred with very good marks
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

You are totally fantastic, Cherry! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs/testimony book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is now ******-rated (6 gold ******'s) :) - could you please ****** mine, too? :) Every ****** -ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf as long as possible because I'm 12 from the editor's desk & need to be in the top 5 by the end of November :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9-1/2 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year.

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes:

A rolling stone? As in the Rolling Stones? The phrase isn't tossed around where I'm from

I love this paragraph: caliber of toys.

This has a good voice

section break

Things smelled...with an s

I got swept up and passed few section breaks. You've caught me with the nostalgia. Then the dreaming of the house, a little live stock, land. You had me good.

I passed a couple section breaks and we're about to negotiate. See, I want it too.

I appreciate the details. Don't bog us down but enough to add texture. The auctions, the property, etc. The buying advice. The problem with pigs

I think you have a great voice. It makes it easy for me to enjoy your story. The little anecdotes are priceless

I do have a couple points to make in your messages.

Thanks Benjamin! I also appreciate the other valuable crits you made!

('A rolling stone gathers no moss' .... and the group)

CherryOnTop

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes:

A rolling stone? As in the Rolling Stones? The phrase isn't tossed around where I'm from

I love this paragraph: caliber of toys.

This has a good voice

section break

Things smelled...with an s

I got swept up and passed few section breaks. You've caught me with the nostalgia. Then the dreaming of the house, a little live stock, land. You had me good.

I passed a couple section breaks and we're about to negotiate. See, I want it too.

I appreciate the details. Don't bog us down but enough to add texture. The auctions, the property, etc. The buying advice. The problem with pigs

I think you have a great voice. It makes it easy for me to enjoy your story. The little anecdotes are priceless

I do have a couple points to make in your messages.

Dear Cherry, I love that your book is non-fiction/true & * love your character names "dippy dog" "sneaky swine" "dotty ducklings" "belligerent bulls," as they jumped out at me when I read your pitch & I'm still laughing at your marvelous names of animals. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs moved me right through chapter 3, as I laughed more, with the "in the hen house....the cornered beast (the rat)....shot between my legs & ran out the door" :) - I laughed even harder when I read, "I fetched the cats & locked them in for a few hours" :) :) :) - ingenious & hilarious. :) This is the greatest of writes. :) Hope you will write a million books. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & also to back for at least 24 hours when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :) - click on author's name, scroll down & click on their book cover or title :) - & away you go :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written my best from my heart. :)

Susie, your comments are really kind and much appreciated! I have to admit that I often laughed out loud when I wrote this, too. I wonder how many readers will be sure I padded and added to my story? In fact, it's all very real. The only things I changed were the names of certain people - to protect their identities.

I'm busy reading your book chapters right now. Hang in there, fellow Christian!

Is it a comedy? I feel so. There are so many autobiographical elements in your work. You are telling this story from inside of you..

Thank you so much for your input, John. In fact, my manuscript is an autobiography, rather than a comedy, and all the incidents happened just as I recounted them. You see, I have a quirky sense of humour and usually see the funny side of things where most people can't. :o)

I'll read your book ASAP.

Is it a comedy? I feel so. There are so many autobiographical elements in your work. You are telling this story from inside of you..

Dear Cherry, I love that your book is non-fiction/true & * love your character names "dippy dog" "sneaky swine" "dotty ducklings" "belligerent bulls," as they jumped out at me when I read your pitch & I'm still laughing at your marvelous names of animals. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs moved me right through chapter 3, as I laughed more, with the "in the hen house....the cornered beast (the rat)....shot between my legs & ran out the door" :) - I laughed even harder when I read, "I fetched the cats & locked them in for a few hours" :) :) :) - ingenious & hilarious. :) This is the greatest of writes. :) Hope you will write a million books. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & also to back for at least 24 hours when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :) - click on author's name, scroll down & click on their book cover or title :) - & away you go :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written my best from my heart. :)