The Gods who fell from the Sky

George,
a return read for our reading swap. Thanks for your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams.

You have a wonderful writing style, so open and honest but also nostalgic and loving. The way you describe your feelings for your wife and family are breathtaking. I only wish all men were so good at expressing their affection for those around them (so speaks a mother of three sons!!)
I usually find that memoir on Authonomy is generally not as tightly edited as fiction. Plot guides fiction writers to know exactly what is superfluous, but that is much harder in memoir, so well done for writing which feels edited well but is still full of memory, life and love!
6 stars from me,
All the best,
Sharda.

George,

I read the first two chapters of your book with rapt attention. Your story is written with such a positive sounding voice that is hard to fathom all the trama you and your family have experienced. You have a wonderful way of relating a story that compels the reader to move forward. Of course it is the story that drives, but your giftedness is what fuels the vehicle. I almost don’t want to read the rest of your story because I fear for what is in store for Penny and Debra. But know I must find the answer.

I commend you for writing such an uplifting account of a difficult thing. That is itself must be medicine for your soul as well as your readers. Highly starred.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Amazing story. I like the origins of the title and the little asides, such as, the children wishing for a white Christmas, things that children will always be doing.

I've no idea about the techniques for writing biography, but the incident at the roundabout in Reading is terrifying, and it’s so well done, I had to read it again to make sure.

Dates would be good in ch1, or years at least.

Ch2 The Luangwa Valley crash is astonishing. I think the success is in that extra detail of a man who dares to look out and record what actually happens to the prop. It’s really quite extraordinary.

An “indaba”, and leopards coming down from the hills is really an incredible insight.

On the first mention of Salisbury, you might have to point out that it’s not Salisbury in the UK.

Well it’s been astonishing to read the first two chapters wondering what’s going to happen next, and I’ve really enjoyed it. Thank you for putting your story on. Best wishes and good luck with this - Ian

this is a story that is hard to imagine. some major turning points that are devastating. worth sharing and i am glad you have done something positive with your pain. these events combined are larger than life, but i don´t get that feeling when i read your long pitch. it is quite dry and needs an injection of speed and a faster pulse...
j
what every woman should know

The Gods who Fell from the Sky.

Your short pitch touches a chord in me - yes, life is what you make it. I am looking forward to getting to know you.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

ch.1. What a fantastic opening for your book!
'It was not a good experience and one I could have done without.' Massive understatement, and is this sentence entirely necessary?

I have galloped through the rest of the chapter, utterly absorbed. Coming back for air, I cant help wondering - great as it is - whether that Prologue isnt a bit misplaced? But it does refer to a plane crash, and such events have impacted greatly on your life, so I will reserve judgment.

Ch.2. Back yet again in time. Not always a good idea. But, again, I bide my time.
You have two 'I was born's in that first paragraph.

That's a surprise - is it your mother who is the narrator? But she can scarcely have been born in 1946 -
Would it not be simpler merely to say something like: 'The fuel capacity ... necessitated having to make frequent stops for refuelling.'
Hope you dont mind these nits.
You have beautiful twice in that short paragraph flying over Sardinia.
Do you mean Kisumu - or even Naivasha (beside its lake) when you couldnt land in Nairobi? Seaplanes landed in both places.
And the spelling is 'askaris'.
There are two 'at nights' in the paragraph where leopards came down from the hills.

I am transported back to Africa by the simple easy flow of your words.

I'm wondering if this chapter might be better in the third person ... but it's only a thought, and it's your book.

Ch.3. This must be you, now.
I think you mean you dumped a good amount of vomit in a bowl.
You were a feisty, courageous little fellow.

I have enjoyed reading this part of your story. It flows naturally, and is very interesting.
It needs editing and refining, but we all have to do it, and it is always worth it in the end.

I'll have to read more into the book before venturing to offer an opinion on that wonderful opening.

Jane (Breath of Africa).

brilliant AND true...amazing. the first person works very well... and the fact that it's true...
l will back...
read SEASONS...