Leaving Neverland (Why Little Boys Shouldn't Run Big Corporations)

haha love the witty dialogue, and also the 'Peter pan' connection. I wish I had more to say, it looks like you have great support here, and I'll definitely do the same!
Steven Dalton

An amusing read. The prose flows smoothly and I enjoyed the sustained concept of children (small male children, primarilly) being allowed to run the nursery and getting it horrbily wrong.You know how to keep the humour flowing too, with the introduction of various characters (yourself, Peter Pan, Victor) throughout the text.

I think the title of chapter 1 may be missing a crucial word “ A Little (??) About Little Boys".

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Very witty and pointed. I found myself going "hahaha ... ouch. I do that." Clever eye-opening connection between the personal and the problems of the world. Does the next chapter deal with Alpha Males, as the end of chapter 6 suggests? I would love to read that! I have witnessed the power of Rites to Passage and applaud the call Daniel is making to reintroduce them in a structured way into our impoverished, immature culture. The alternative is more of the unacceptable same.

Well, yes, all females think men are just big boys who like toys. Anyway, I got that obvious comment out of the way, I wanted to tell you that this is a very clever satire, getting at the big men in power who act like little children: the reactions to the oil spills, the bankers, the food corporations, etc. You hit at the big issues through cleverly using Peter Pan, and the Neverland scenario.

Chapter 2 was really good, especially the "forked" bit when you found out your girlfriend (future wife) was pregnant. The inclusion of the camp was also nice, the transition between boy to man, as well as your own rite of passage. My ears pricked up when you mentioned you did Kiwifruit picking in NZ. Was it Keri Keri or Tauranga or elsewhere?

I liked that you gave Peter Pan a chapter, going into detail with the banks. The different names of Peter Pan was clever-especially the last one. The crossing out of certain words worked well, giving it extra emphasis. And to mention Peter Pan, one must mention Michael Jackson. I thought this was a good inclusion, fitting in well with your theme.

And it was good that you didn't exclude us woman from your book. Yes, when you have a kid relying on you you've got to grow up fast. Also, you make a good point about how woman are pushed out to work, and their children into daycare, but they are still encouraged to have more children. It's conflcting logic. And yes, there are a lot of mothers who don't want to leave the children to go out to work. Which is why I choose to be self-employed so I can be there for the kids.

I liked the inclusion of the Bullying chapter, and the way its applied to the adult world through the corruption of the earth: mining, deep sea drilling, open pitt mining of radioactive uranium, etc. The GM debate is also a very valid issue, one that concerned me greatly when I was going through university (I almost joined the Green Party). I don't like GM modified foods, especially since I'm vegetarian, and I also don't think it's safe, but the big bucks always win. I do remember Prince Charles speaking out against GM, and respected him for that. But I didn't know about what had happened in India. That was horrible. Large corporates at times do act like vicious children holding economic guns against people.

This is a very clever piece of writing, highlighting important issues in a unique way. I wish you all the best with it. Kind regards, Marita.

I read four chapters Daniel. I kept asking myself, where have honor, integrity, loyalty gone? Did we ever have them? Is this world we live in just a place to rake in the most tokens, damn the tortises and the shrimp. My god, 'you can get shrimp elsewhere?' I want to apologize to someone. Who?

My ranting aside. Your book is brilliant. Should be required reading for all.

Leaving Neverland.
by Daniel Prokop.

I read and backed this book a long time ago...I was pushed for time...thought I would take another look.
This is a very well written book, it can't be walked away from by the reader, it's in black and white.
I think your concept of the way things are done today is accepted reluctantly by the majority of society.
The question is, what can be done about it...very little by the man-in- the-street I'm afraid.
There are many born with a silver spoon in their mouth. The 'Fat Cats' will always try to achieve their goal without a thought for the environment...cash is king in their world.
You rightly mention the Gulf of Mexicio oil spill, were they wearing blind folds?
After all it's a well known child's game that would have suited them surely.
Take the big banks in the U.K. bailed out and part owned to a great extent by the tax payer...paying themselves huge bonuses, still.
I think your book is to the point and an excellent read. I intend to buy it and continue past chapter six.
Pleased to star rate your book. Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

This was a pleasure to read. It was quirky, poignant, and I enjoyed the style. The 'fork' was amusing and the train wreak reaction to finding out Beth pregnant, brilliant. I must admit I found the 2nd chapter easier to read than the 1st.

Thanks,

Bec (Find Mark)

Leaving Neverland (Why Little Boys Shouldn't Run Big Corporations) is an excellently crafted, satirical, non-fictiion work. It gives a tongue-in-cheek view of some of today's most critical issues. In your manuscript are many noteworthy references--getting "forked" from Neverland and Neverland Classic vs. Neverland 2.0 are my personal favorites. All in all, this is really nice work.

I love the premise! Hard truths skillfully served up with sharp wit. I found it extremely difficult to disagree with your opinions and observations. May it spark the same populist revolt that brought about the fall of the Iron Curtain or of the present day revolt in Muslim Africa.

My one nit is your use of acronyms like GUBLaR...whatever, and ffs, etc. It may just be personal preference but personally, I hate 'em, especially these two. The first is unwieldly - I dont even remember what it stands for - and the other just reads like a typo. They are, to me, at least, an irritant that pulls me right out of the narrative.

This book is backed, shelved and rated with pleasure.

Oh my word, Daniel. I have had one great hell of an afternoon enjoying reading Leaving Neverland - why little boys shouldn't. You really cracked me up - I couldn't stop laughing. My husband, who was painting the dining room popped is head in and honestly thought I'd lost the plot. And I was suppose to be helping him - oh well, I can always blame you for giving me such an such an entertaining read.
You are so clever and spot on in the way you brought up some serious issues, such as the oil spillage cover ups, the deep global troubles that our magnificent Earth is in, and of course the fat-cat bankers. Being from the UK we call them w****rs!
You keep it light, with fantastic humour. I loved this bit: "Hi God, I'll take the basic body shape, hairless unless there is an ice age coming up? Definitely the walking model with the enlarged brain and a big penis"!!! if God answers your prayers, Daniel, please let me know so that I can put it on my wishlist for my husband. Ha Ha.
Reading adolescent - never leaving Neverland made me chuckle., I should imagine there will be lots of mothers reading it and thinking they've got a Timmy. who just isn't ready to leave home and grow up.
Stay young at heart, Daniel and you will always produce brilliant writing like this.
All the best, Kat from Wales (Hens from Hell)

Hee hee hee, I like your attitude!

FEL

ok, I read ch1 again and is much improved.

I don't know if you used each paragraph in chp1 to summarize each subsequent chapter, since you only posted 6.

Having said that you are missing 2 things:

First, the marker; the marker is a word that takes you right forward to the chapter in question. For example, if ch 6 is all about bullying, then the word bullying should be in the first line of the paragraph in ch 1 that refers to chap 6.

Second, the benefits: as you remember when I first commented, at the end of chapter 1 there should be a paragraph that spell out what the reader will get out of this book. Something like this: "after you read this book, you will never think about corp america in the same way again" Only more specific/detailed.

Having said that, your last chapter then should be exactly that: "now that you have read what these people do, this is the action plan" etc.

Daniel, readers want 2 things out of this book:

A moral map that helps them interpret the events in question,

and

An action plan that tells them how they can get involved/react against the things described in the book

You provided the map. You haven't provided the action plan

Hope it helps, best,

david

Very insightful introduction. I look forward to reading your commentary. If time, please check out 33.

Some very important messages here. Backing it now.

Leaving Neverland is an insightful commentary written in an amusing style. Rated with six stars.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

I really think the title is clever-- the toys, Peter Pan, etc. The problem is: I feel like I'm being lectured. A few years ago I read a fantastic book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I think the reason I like it so much was because it read like fiction. One major nit: you tense shift in quite a few places. I'd just write this in the past. There are some brilliant passages in here.

I really think the title is clever-- the toys, Peter Pan, etc. The problem is: I feel like I'm being lectured. A few years ago I read a fantastic book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I think the reason I like it so much was because it read like fiction. One major nit: you tense shift in quite a few places. I'd just write this in the past. There are some brilliant passages in here.

I read the first and sixth chapters! This is a subject which VERY much interests me at the moment! I even have considererd suspending my writing hobby and becoming an activist. Just that at the moment I still don't know what I would actually do. It is exhausting just trying to get my own loved ones interested, so... what a battle. I don't have a kindle, is there any other way I can read more of your book please? I like what you have to say, and how you say it!

Just read the first chapter and am intrigued. Very readable, witty, and starts with a topic many women would agree with - boys at play. I am going to read more though, because I am hoping that you will provide an answer to this universal problem.

Watchlisted!

Let me know what are your thoughts on God of the Cocoa.

Best Wishes
Marilyn

I started reading your Opus and I thought I will give my two cents

Since you posted only 6 chaps and this is not fiction, I assume you are looking for feedback rather than climbing the ranks

There are several things that work here:

First it is written by a self proclaimed reformed child; that always comforts;
those who know show...those who don't know ...teach
And you show or more accurately, you reveal....your life

Second, the tone is one of terribilita as the Italians would say:
you are angry, you are pist and you are not going to take it anymore,
That gives the narrative an urgency that speeds up the reading; no-nonsense....let me tell you..are you listening?

Third, the colloquial nature of the telling; let me tell you this...let me tell you that.
It is in the tradition of a live speech that just happens to be written.
The result is that it reads fast...very fast

Here is my minor/minorest/minormost point:

I didn't get a sense in the first chapter (i.e. nor in subsequent chapters) of where you are taking me
The reader is making a time investment; he/she needs to know where are you taking him/her

You do that by saying to the reader;

this is roughly what I am going to tell you at the beginning/middle and end,
so that by the end, this is what you are going to take with you.

Thus the reader says: ok this is where I am going...happy to go there.

Hope it helps, if you need anything else, feel free to whistle

David

You are very witty! I heard a talk recently and part of it was about how boys used to go from boys to men, but these days they have a prolonged period of adolescence where they never actually grow up. It is an issue that is in need of challenging and you do so with great insight and humour. I love the list of names for Peter Pan. Peter Chan HAHA!

It's really good, entertaining, interesting, humourous, infomative, hooking, funny, important, a story, and hopefully a successful book. Shah

Daniel, I love this book! Thank you for writing it. It is a very necessary book but I'm afraid that the people who should read it, can't read. :) Starred and on my shelf. Femmy

Hi fellow Aussie. I have your book on my watchlist, Daniel but I can't promise any more than that at this stage as it it not my usual read, and I have a heap of others to get through. Hope you will reciprocate but I don't mind if you don't as I suspect sexy romantic suspense is not on your reading agenda!

Happy New Year.

Antonia

Daniel,
thank you for saying the things that so many of us wish we could say, and thank you for pointing me out to this. This book is right up my alley because I am also in rites of passage work, but I do it in a religious sense. It is the most powerful tool to transform lives (you really get to know yourself when you are dropped off in the middle of the woods at night by yourself) lol I think that this book is extremely important for our age and needs to be said NOW!!! However, I'm not completely sold on the idea that these irresponsible CEOs are just little boys playing pretend. I tend to think they know exactly what they are doing, like macaulay culkin in the good son. They are evil. But your Psychology paralels are right on. Great job and I look forward to reading more. I will add this to my watchlist for now and when I have room I'll bump it up to my bookshelf.
Kayla

Hi Daniel,

Your writing is enjoyable and practiced - good job. Rather than heap the praise you deserve for the manuscript - which seems to run rampant here at authonomy (C'mon, fellow writers, get tough and offer constructive criticism. Is everyone afraid of hurt feelings? These posts are supposed to help us become better writers and maybe the only place someone can receive honest feedback) - I've got a suggestion. Be more assertive. For example, I cringe whenever I see the prepositional phrase "to start." In your last paragraph, instead try "...we have to seriously question what many..."

Hi Daniel
I enjoyed reading your book, and the passion you feel for the story sings off the page. If I'm honest I enjoyed it more when it was you (Daniel) writing and actually found dipping into the voice of Peter Pan and friends a distraction. I occasionally just wanted the story to get going, rather than be told what the book was going to be about two or three chapters in.
The idea of boys running businesses they are not prepared for is universal, I'm sure most people in business above a certain age would feel a few more wiser heads helping bring the best out of their younger colleagues to be a good thing. Certainly the industry I work in is notoriously ageist.
I don't wish these comments to come across a overly negative, just giving you my personal opinion and perhaps something to consider.
As I mentioned at the beginning I enjoyed reading the book, your passion for the subject and you have have a lot of very positive comments, so please feel free to ignore my comments if you don't agree with them.
Very best regards, and good luck.
Ian

haha love the witty dialogue, and also the 'Peter pan' connection. I wish I had more to say, it looks like you have great support here, and I'll definitely do the same!
Steven Dalton

Its a great book, i have been on a rite of passage and it was the greatest thing i have done in a while

Wow! Finally an adult man who can see through all the nonsense defending testestrone driven male-child bullshit. Growing up is wonderful and why we were born to pass on wisdom to subsequent generations. Growing up simply means accepting responsibility..The ability to respond apipropiately to any given situation life hands one. Dan's book nails it and if enough people listen to his wisdom the world would be a better place. Check out my book HOW TO GROW UP WHEN YOU"RE GROWN UP:ACHIEVING BALANCE IN ADULTHOOD.See it at www.lamariposapress.com. Congrats Daniel. Good job well done!
Nancy O'Connor Ph.D.

Daniel -

Leaving Neverland - Your passion is obvious. I often think the phase we live in is marked by adolescent behaviour, spot on. You have a message, and it's a vital one, delivered with humour. Your comic shines through. What gripped me was the Rite of Passage theme as vehicle for achieving transformation. You say you didn't start growing up until you were 32, which was when you became a father, a role you took serious enough, it seems, to accept being tied down. You could spice up this book, just my view, by giving it a rhythm, a structure that shows more of your own experience, something you indicate on several occasions and may well include with more detail in later chapters. The terms you use are all relevant, but they need emotional grounding otherwise the reader gets lost in the general and switches off. Have you explored the market re: fathers/sons and rite of passages? I star this for it's theme, it's humour and great potential. Let me know if you put more chapters up.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Daniel -

Leaving Neverland - just say I'm reading this and will return to commrnt :)

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Entertaining and vitriolic diatribe aimed at bankers, politicians, big business and other passing targets . There is a serious thesis buried in the fun and it wouldnt be as much fun if it were more restrained. The author had a personal change of heart/lifestyle/outlook brought on by the experience of fatherhood and a 'pathway to manhood' experience which he writes about with great emotive power. His prior life seems to have been spent amongst those he now lampoons and his conversion has such similarity to that of Paul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus that I am surprised that (at least so far) Pauls first letter to the corinthians hasn't been quoted.It's best of course in the St James version - 'When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.' There are lots of other good quotes though and much fascinating information. The 'rites of passage' ideas and the 'sick soul' of societies where they have been abandoned are throught provoking but I am sure debatable. I think as the thesis develops the author should also tell us of individuals or corporations that have set an example, bucked the trend and shown that they have put Neverland behind them.

An amusing read. The prose flows smoothly and I enjoyed the sustained concept of children (small male children, primarilly) being allowed to run the nursery and getting it horrbily wrong.You know how to keep the humour flowing too, with the introduction of various characters (yourself, Peter Pan, Victor) throughout the text.

I think the title of chapter 1 may be missing a crucial word “ A Little (??) About Little Boys".

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

You are totally fantastic, Daniel!! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs/testimony book? :) God bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is ******-rated (6 gold ******'s each) :) - could you please ****** mine, too. :) Every ****** -ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books up on authonomy lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf as long as possible because I'm 8 from the editor's desk & trying to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of December :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year.

The title caught my attention - I find the writing intelligent and the writer talented so Im backing this for at least the next 24 hours.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

HiInteresting idea. I read some parts from your book, enough to enjoy the voice voice. I’m backing it and will return, when I have more time, for a more profound comment.
Could you please take a look at mine?
Dan

Very witty and pointed. I found myself going "hahaha ... ouch. I do that." Clever eye-opening connection between the personal and the problems of the world. Does the next chapter deal with Alpha Males, as the end of chapter 6 suggests? I would love to read that! I have witnessed the power of Rites to Passage and applaud the call Daniel is making to reintroduce them in a structured way into our impoverished, immature culture. The alternative is more of the unacceptable same.

Well, yes, all females think men are just big boys who like toys. Anyway, I got that obvious comment out of the way, I wanted to tell you that this is a very clever satire, getting at the big men in power who act like little children: the reactions to the oil spills, the bankers, the food corporations, etc. You hit at the big issues through cleverly using Peter Pan, and the Neverland scenario.

Chapter 2 was really good, especially the "forked" bit when you found out your girlfriend (future wife) was pregnant. The inclusion of the camp was also nice, the transition between boy to man, as well as your own rite of passage. My ears pricked up when you mentioned you did Kiwifruit picking in NZ. Was it Keri Keri or Tauranga or elsewhere?

I liked that you gave Peter Pan a chapter, going into detail with the banks. The different names of Peter Pan was clever-especially the last one. The crossing out of certain words worked well, giving it extra emphasis. And to mention Peter Pan, one must mention Michael Jackson. I thought this was a good inclusion, fitting in well with your theme.

And it was good that you didn't exclude us woman from your book. Yes, when you have a kid relying on you you've got to grow up fast. Also, you make a good point about how woman are pushed out to work, and their children into daycare, but they are still encouraged to have more children. It's conflcting logic. And yes, there are a lot of mothers who don't want to leave the children to go out to work. Which is why I choose to be self-employed so I can be there for the kids.

I liked the inclusion of the Bullying chapter, and the way its applied to the adult world through the corruption of the earth: mining, deep sea drilling, open pitt mining of radioactive uranium, etc. The GM debate is also a very valid issue, one that concerned me greatly when I was going through university (I almost joined the Green Party). I don't like GM modified foods, especially since I'm vegetarian, and I also don't think it's safe, but the big bucks always win. I do remember Prince Charles speaking out against GM, and respected him for that. But I didn't know about what had happened in India. That was horrible. Large corporates at times do act like vicious children holding economic guns against people.

This is a very clever piece of writing, highlighting important issues in a unique way. I wish you all the best with it. Kind regards, Marita.

Dear Daniel, I love that your are covering children in adult bodies in your "put-it-to-us" pitch to grow up. :) You had me glued to your whole 6 chapters & I kept saying out loud, "Yes. Yes. Yes" throughout. :) When I read your title, I thought of Michael Jackson & when I got to chapter 4, I smiled ear to ear :) - he was totally still childish, refusing to grow up, such a sad hopeless life where he thought he was happy, having fun & yet he knew the Way of choosing good or bad, from the way he was raised. :) Tragedy of tragedy, all 6 of my abusive husbands were little boys in adult bodies who refused to grow up & accept the responsibilities of life & I was their mom instead of their wife (I'm in my 18th year of my 6th childish husband). :( Peter Hawkes' quote really spoke to me & is totally where it is at in your book, "If you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren't optimistic, you haven't got a pulse." Selfish people are not sensitive & are all take, take, take :( - you are right: they need to grow up, like you did when you became a husband & a father in your 30's. :) I have now read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & to also at least 24 hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :) - click on author's name, scroll down on their profile page & click on their book cover or title :) - & you are on your way :)
None of the comment is copy/pasted & is written my best from my heart. :)

:) I will comment on your book after I've read it :)

Thank you Susie for your comment, I am a total Newbie here :-)

:) I will comment on your book after I've read it :)