Muria

Muria is a unique book, sort of a modern fairy tale. Author Renn Raven does a great job of describing the settings of the novel, to the point where readers can close their eyes and easily imagine that they are there. The cast of characters are also quite interesting, with some seemingly normal people having special powers, all of which fall within a believable framework. As a young adult novel, it is well written in such a way as to attract readers of that age, and I suspect, will be able to ensnare quite a few adults within its spell too.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

I am in love with your book. Officially. I love bringing in fairies, and the insecurity of being apart that was really well done, I'm on chapter two I think and I am completely engrossed please keep writing it.
I love how you introduced them, and how they kept it secret and your writing flows easily,
I am sure loads of people will be glad to read this and it will surely fly up the ranks.

Wow, this is an amazing story, I absolutely loved what I have read so far. It is really unique and totally captivating. I love the way you get right into the story from the offset, and the way you introduce the characters is brilliant. I love that each set of the siblings have their own story which is told in the 1st person. I love the description of the siblings and their powers. I think you are onto a real winner here, this is really original and the story promises much adventure, mystery and intrigue. I really look forward to reading more and I have given you a maximum star rating!
Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Oh wow, that last piece of chap 1 was a work of art. It makes you think of their cries being heard by all of nature, rather than what logic would expect it to sound like: just voices under water. So that was an excellent touch. Bravo! And it's so chilling at the same time. Wow.
And the panther, Spear (excellent name choice) he is a perfect scary villain. Perhaps have him look slightly like a sabertooth--a ridge of bustling fur on his arched back. I've always thought they looked breathtaking in those pics, so I think it'd add a lot to your character. I would suggest something, though, when the woman is pinned down. Have her secretly grabbing a dagger or at least a tree branch, rather than just slipping away. It almost insults the panther, in my opinion--such an excellent image of a villain yet when he just rears up to claw her she merely slips away. I think all predators everywhere would be scandalized. ;D But like I said, it's just a thought. There is a lot of beautiful themes and images, but I think it could be even more improved with a bit more poetic narration. The magic is there--it can definitely be felt. Good work! I love the thought of the woman with silver eyes and blood, her superhuman abilities, and her mysterious elation to find the river...it hints at old lore, and I love it. I did have a problem with one thing...who in the world would she be able to carry eight babies and a couple baskets? Good grief! I find it hard enough to carry two kids at once! ;D I'd like her to give me some pointers on how she does it. ;D

--Shieldmaiden

Liked the cover of your book, first thing. I liked the way you start your story and carry on. Although the story is a good one, but it needs more work to attract the reader. The wars of the panther and the woman should be more dramatic, than now, so your reader can feel the tow sides' good and evil natures, in a better way. We need to know, in a bit more details, about your main characters. You can build up a lot more drama onto this story and make it more hooking and interesting. We should be real scared or feel real sad, when reading your story, but now it is very little. This is what I think, and I back your story, which I like, hope this helps. Thanks and have a good day.

Backed Muria. We really liked this! A great read aloud or silent read for children.Yet, I feel YA would enjoy this book also. Told in a language children can read and understand. It is a fantasy world they can imagen which makes it believalbe to young readers. Great job.
CC Brown

Muria is a unique book, sort of a modern fairy tale. Author Renn Raven does a great job of describing the settings of the novel, to the point where readers can close their eyes and easily imagine that they are there. The cast of characters are also quite interesting, with some seemingly normal people having special powers, all of which fall within a believable framework. As a young adult novel, it is well written in such a way as to attract readers of that age, and I suspect, will be able to ensnare quite a few adults within its spell too.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

I read chapters 10 and 11. I liked it, although I was a little surprised at the new group of characters I felt like I was introduced to in chapter 11. I thought we would have met all the character groups by this point in the story.
Some nitpicks:
Toungue tied-was the older sister really toungue-tied, or just so overwhelmed by what she saw?
His name is Ben. Why did you stress “his.” The sister didn’t call him a girl (except in her mind).
My imagination crumbled as I forced myself to return to reality. (When did she leave?)
Does the little sister start backing away from the demon, or stay rooted in her spot?

This is a real page turner, with a gripping hook start, plenty of action, likeable characters, hissable villains (I just made that up) and good settings. I did wonder how people with gold blood, gold eyes and changeable hair colour could be considered normal (forget that, 'I' have changeable hair colour, although it takes me about an hour and a half) but leaving that aside the story progresses quite naturally. The various adventures with Orris and Spike and Clove were entertaining, although a bear plummeting to the ground at immense speed did rather give pause for thought. I think young adults would love this book, assuming some editing takes place. Watchlisted. All the best Jaye

This is a really good novel, it's excellently written, great description. The mini battle in the begining was amazingly described. I got to chapter 3 but then I had to go so I'll comment again after I've read more. You've got a great novel on your hands =)

I am in love with your book. Officially. I love bringing in fairies, and the insecurity of being apart that was really well done, I'm on chapter two I think and I am completely engrossed please keep writing it.
I love how you introduced them, and how they kept it secret and your writing flows easily,
I am sure loads of people will be glad to read this and it will surely fly up the ranks.

Gold blood- fascinating!
I liked the opening, it had interesting mystery and dark foreboding about it.
The phrase 'the surreal woman' sounded odd- I can't decide if I love it or hate it! Either way, it's weird!
'frightened breaths' should just be 'frightened breath' I think.

I think the story gets REALLY interesting from the second chapter, for that reason I would suggest editing/cutting some of the first. But get other opinion on that cos I am just one person so I could be utterly wrong!
Take care, Karen

Renn,
This is a fascinating story that hooks the reader early on. The imagery is great and the pacing wonderful.
I enjoyed it and am sure others would as well.
Best of luck to you,
Sharon Van Orman

Wow, this is an amazing story, I absolutely loved what I have read so far. It is really unique and totally captivating. I love the way you get right into the story from the offset, and the way you introduce the characters is brilliant. I love that each set of the siblings have their own story which is told in the 1st person. I love the description of the siblings and their powers. I think you are onto a real winner here, this is really original and the story promises much adventure, mystery and intrigue. I really look forward to reading more and I have given you a maximum star rating!
Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Muria - Chapter 1 - A forest, local people look at and quickly forget. A mysterious woman hurrying through the night to send children out into the a world that appears to be different from the one she inhabits. These are good hooks to encourage readers to read on.
Chapter 2 - Perilla rescuing her sister Ginger after she falls from the top of a cliff has the kind of excitement children would enjoy.
The author's enthusiasm and imagination are clearly evident, but in my opinion, this is work in progress.

Child - Atramentus Speaks

I really liked this. I would totally buy this if it was published. My only advice is for you to switch chapters 18 and 19 because with it the way it is we actually have to go back in time for chapter 19 and then it gets confusing. But very good and imaginative.

Renn,
Muria is a very imaginative story with such luscious descriptions. Tarra and her siblings are unlike any children I've ever known. You create such vivid images with your descriptive passages. Backed with six stars.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Dear Renn, I love Tarra & my heart goes out to her that she takes her siblings on an epic journey to search for the secrets of their past with their enemies one step ahead of them. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs, not to mention your exciting adventure to find their parents moved me right to the end of your story. :) The chapter 1 black panther chasing the woman was scary - I knew they'd encounter evil, but didn't expect the to be separated later, so was happy they got back together & with their parents. :) "wondering what the future held for people like us with gifts," was a fantastic ending of chapter 16. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & to at least 24 hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated you book :) - could you please ****** mine, too? :) Thank you so very much for backing my memoirs/testimony book. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books up on authonomy :)
None of the comment is copy/pasted & is written my best from my heart. :)

Thank you so much Susie, your story is fantastic too! It immediately gripped me and I loved the way you introduced the chapter, it made me laugh! Hope the story ends well, I plan to finish reading it. Sorry about your strokes, good luck on authonomy. I'll rate your story six *s!!
Renn

You are totally fantastic, Renn!! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs/testimony book? :) God bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is ******-rated (6 gold ******'s each) :) - could you please ****** mine, too. :) Every ****** -ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books up on authonomy lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf as long as possible because I'm 8 from the editor's desk & trying to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of December :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year

Dear Renn, I love Tarra & my heart goes out to her that she takes her siblings on an epic journey to search for the secrets of their past with their enemies one step ahead of them. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraphs, not to mention your exciting adventure to find their parents moved me right to the end of your story. :) The chapter 1 black panther chasing the woman was scary - I knew they'd encounter evil, but didn't expect the to be separated later, so was happy they got back together & with their parents. :) "wondering what the future held for people like us with gifts," was a fantastic ending of chapter 16. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to read & to at least 24 hour back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated you book :) - could you please ****** mine, too? :) Thank you so very much for backing my memoirs/testimony book. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books up on authonomy :)
None of the comment is copy/pasted & is written my best from my heart. :)

:) I will comment on your book after I've read it - read & commented on 3 hours later :)