Seattle Strange

Bloody great, mate.

I'm interested to see where this is going. Different than anything else I've read on here. Only had time for 2, but I'll be back for more latter. For now, as it is one of those 56 days in Seattle ( kind of), I'm off to Broadway for some Pho. When I think of Seattle I think of Pho and Mannys.

Bill Scott
Haktaw Heart

Hi Miles,

I was wandering authonomy and spotted your profile. It's been ages since I've seen you around here much, so I popped over for a look at your work. I'm pretty sure I've read+ backed Taggers in the past, so I'd like to leave a comment on Seattle strange if that's OK. :)

I'll comment as I read since I find that the easiest way to keep track. Please don't be offended by any suggestions. After all, they will just be my thoughts. You can always ignore me if you think I'm wrong or stupid. ;)

(Sorry in advance for any typos, but my keyboard’s a bit knackered :()

Prologue: Wow that's a hell of an introductory paragraph. You really race through history and let us know from the offing this will be a darkly funny and irreverant book. Sounds good. i can't wait to read on. ;)

Ah this bit seems to concern Xavier's trial. Odd sort of trial. Especially what no 6 did ;). Oh and he has a cryptic tattoo on his willy. Is this some sort of X-rated Da Vinci code? ;) Unsurprisingly, this guy's action takes all focus from Xavier's erudite speech. No wonder nobody can remember much about the trial itself afterwards.

Rachel the Pig: Fun intro. I like the way you break the 4th wall :). The entire chapter does a great job of describing Seattle in a vivid, if unsypathetic, way ;). The narrator's an engagingly odd tour guide. At the end of the chapter, we get hints this story will centre on Malachi Throne.

I've 1 tiny suggestion . Occasionally, I think some of your paragraphs feel pretty long. They could make for intimidating blocks of text on printed pages. Is there any way you could paragraph a bit more often to make the reading easier and quicker for thickos like me? ;)

Malachi Throne: Aha I guessed right. He seems to be the main character. Great dialogue with the shrink. Looks like Malachi's on the verge of a breakdown, and it seems the problems stem from worry about commitment. I almost laughed aloud at the line the shrink's not trying to cure the problem, but then he does have a phd ;).

Malachi's obviously rich and powerful, but because of his vulnerability and apparent suffering in the scene with the shrink I don't hate him. In some ways, I even pity him. Ah ... I suddenly stop pitying him when his lunch is served in such an unusual manner. grrrr :(

Police? What's this about? Oh it seems he's suspected of some pretty weird crimes. I'm guessing the forced bible reading isn't just kidnapping. Is religion illegal in this odd future? Unlucky Malachi. this prophet's his spitting image. I doubt the detective would even notice a full confession at this stage, though. He seems to be carefully examining something ;).

Wow religion seems v strictly prohibited. The fines are crazy. Great "fuck you" way of giving the detective prints + DNA sample. Even if Malachi's a pampered sort, he makes a fun character to read. Tatsumi's final words to the detective are great too ;). Hmm intriguing chapter end. Why would Malachi wish he were guilty? I'm intrigued...

Oops I just saw how long this comment's getting. I guess I better stop before it grows to a ridiculous size. I'll sum up now, and then shut up. :)

I think you have a fascinating book here, set in a wierd possible world. A world where religion's illegal would, I'm sure, be filled with congflict. Fertile ground for fiction ;). Your descriptions are well done, and really paint pictures of what's going on. And the dialogue is believable and feels real. For me, though, the star of your book is the narrator. That whimsical/sarcastic voice really gives an unusual and interesting character to your book. I get the feeling your writing's much more about the journey itself than the end desination. Like Douglas Adams' masterpiece of madness ;)

I've just rated your book with 6 stars, and hope you get noticed by an agent. I think there's a real audience out there for your work.

Best of luck,

Pete

The opening recalls Taggers in its swaggering, its cockiness, and in the storyboarding of events, this time using afters rather than befores. Good device.
The gravelly voice is audible - I hear the accent. Love the wryness in the telling of the tale and the way the reader is addressed and made to feel included. Love the wryness too in the way the narrator refers to himself as the fabulist, giving the whole thing an added lightness.
I read three chapters and they flew by. (The slowest part is in the middle of chapter 2. Maybe a short para. too far?)

A tiny thing I found distracting: 'began strategically (begins?) placing banana leaves and rose petals...."
there are several instances of tense switching around here which work really well, especially coming just after dialogue, but this one coming mid-paragraph doesn't work for me.

Another thoroughly distinctive and outstanding work as far as i can tell, Miles.

I already backed it and will keep it as long as I can (maybe intermittently)

SEATTLE STRANGE BACKED SAT FEB 5, 2011 AT 7 PM.

Creative. Fast paced. Keeps the reader on the edge of the seat wondering WHAT it is that will make the world gasp. Clever inventions (such as the "click." (Read to know whereof I sppeak, ah, write that is.)

Written for the slightly irreverent, I would say. Or those willing to detach their starched collars for a short read, all for little humor's sake.

A spoof on what the world REALLY thinks is interesting and worth paying attention to. And so on. This author is creative. If the entire book can maintain the pace that is found in the first chapter, or if it can even dance in and out of that magical (if disrespectful) atmosphere, this should be a very good book.

Witty, original, funny and all around entertaining, thank you for a such a refreshing novel. Bravo.

Athena

The Raven and the Wolf

G-- this is fucking brilliant. Just read the whole thing - my brain is convulsing. So original, so eccentric, so funny and full of energy. I couldn't get enough of it and I want some more, please!

Mick

I can't get to my profile page to change my shelf but when I do, this will be on it.

Hmmm.
Seattle, eh?

You're on my watchlist.
I shall return - with a comment or two.

Hi there Miles,
As a local I really enjoy all of the rye wit and the landmark lingo! I am definitely backing this book. The site has been real slow to load this week, despite my cache management, so I wasn't able to read all of the chapters, but the first few were grand!
Roberta

Hi Miles, been a while since I've read your work. This is another superb piece of work - just going by the prologue - that recalls the gymnastics of Taggers. A brave and ebullient opening, 14-inch courtroom cocks, themes of death, rebirth, christianity and intriguing Tom Hanks murder trials. There was something wonderful about having God's name starred-out, beside that of John Turturro's, too. Always entertaining, always interesting, always energetic.

P

Very strong beginning! Love the tour of Seattle from a first person standpoint.

Hi Miles-Backed your book-great intro. Please consider backing mine, 33. Look forward to reading it. Also, great cover!

Miles,

My thoughts on your book. These should be taken with salt, a pinch of cliche and then discarded as they are probably as much use to a penguin as a parka. Anyway, for what their worth:

Prologue:

Simply very, very good. I love the way you broke down XYZ, and then introduce the 14inch slong. I like the intro, the history and the fact that Ghandi was in fact called Mohandas(I had to check on wiki). Overall, a very good start to the book that wets the readers appetite.

Chapter 1:

Very well written like the prologue, very funny and it rattles along. However, as the reader I want to know the point of it...actually I get it, but you need to link it better to chapter 2. Just a thought but ditch the break into chapter 2 and make them one. Then the reader will flow into the next and not be left wondering why they've just got a potted tour around Seattle...sure it was free, but ...they began a journey with the prologue and now want to get on with it. I think that if you just continue the flow into the next chapter you'll keep them gripped? Maybe finish with Light it up...My children, above you is the office of the well known therapist...

Chapter 3:

Simply include in chapter 2. as for the writing and the story...brilliant. Love the meal, the way you skip the small talk between the detective and Malachi, and the way you finish with him wishing on the bed. My only point is you could probably ditch the Malachi Throne halfway through, and just call him Malachi. It just got a little tiring for me. That's all I could think of.

Conclusion:

A very well written book, that is funny and dark. If the reader likes cynical, they will love this book. The writing is fluid and easy going, the characters and narrator, fun.

DJ-The Lost Cactus

I will look through more and comment on request...or just tell me to sod off.

Added Seattle Strange to my watchlist and will read shortly. Good luck.


M.A.Anderson
DARK LEGACY

fascinating read. interesting and written with great effect- on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Looks very promising. I've place it on my Watchlist. Comments to come later.

Laith Doory (A Picture of Eva Braun & The Watchers)

Backed Seattle Strange. Recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
Kat51

Refreshing, sylish and intriguingly witty. A sure winner. One of the best on site. Backed with pleasure.
Laurence Winchester, The Cross of Goa

Seattle strange
A clever piece of writing
Backed
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

Miles, I'd love to see this published. It fits my SOH perfectly and I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Intelligent and well-written. Terrifically observed.


Wishing you the best of luck, Claire - Curious Cooper and the Screaming Skulls

Confident, clever, witty writing. Like the layering voice-over of the first chapter. It has a real, ahem, crescendo. And great flourish, then, to the narration of the next chapter – a slick sweep of the arm over a city and a backstory. Love the pig-riding fanfare of the last lines. There’s real swagger to this writing and sense of fun. It made me laugh. It’s on my shelf.

Intelligent, inventive and scathingly funny. I saw it on Bradley Wind's shelf and knew it must be good. Thanks for stimulating the cerebellum while simultaneously making me clutch my gut.

Backed with zero reluctance. I'm going to enjoy watching this one rapidly rise in the ranks.

Best,

G
(Notes on an Orange Burial)

BJ’s banned, and G is against the law.

I wasn’t sure how to take this at first Miles - but it grew on me very quickly. It’s a veritable chameleon of a novel, that had me second guessing all the way though the uploaded chapters.

Seattle Strange is satire at it’s best, and I’m struggling here to find an appropriate phrase to describe it. ( click - for gob-smacked…)

Even our narrator - our tour guide, the Fabulist (teller of tales - fables - fibber) - [click for instant Scottish translation] - (fanny-merchant) - hehe, is having a laugh with the reader. Seemingly in an off hand way, but at the same time mawkishly personal, and always extremely interesting.

I love the constant, and grandiose references to Malachi’s obscene wealth, whilst at the same time giving this kind of consumerism an ironic smack in the chops every opportunity you get. All very clever and very very funny. (And by the sound of things, very Seattle - lol.)

I’m probably way off the mark here, but chapter eight played like an irreverent parody of Gethsemane, if you want to know the half of it. (and I think you are very cleverly only giving us the half of it hehe.)

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first started reading, Miles - and I suppose I was anticipating a damning piece on the evils of organised religion - but instead I found myself laughing at the senselessness of overwhelming consumerism.

It’s a brave thing you’re attempting here. Getting the reader to physically interact with the book could be either great fun, or prolonged torture, depending on who the reader is - but I personally thought it was great fun and I’m sure many others on Authonomy will as well.

Backed as soon as I have a place on the shelf for it Miles.

James.

Seattle Strange-an apt title for a very funny book. Straight away I knew this was going to be a piss take, with the quote from Joshua Chippendale. And I wasn't disappointed by the Prologue, which was really good. The frequent flyers line was great, and the No.6. juror’s antics were hilarious. There was a clever play on words with “onanism” (yes, I looked it up with a "click" on google). And I want to know what 1 John 5:22 means as well? And who would remember the verdict after that cock up? ;-)

Chapter 1 was a bit slower, and you did almost lose me on all the detail regarding Seattle. I wanted more of the Prologue, which was why I continued to chapter 2. I liked chapter 2, and wasn’t disappointed. Malachi Throne is definitely an interesting character. I liked the bit about where he lives (Click: to piss his father off). I thought all the “clicks” were clever.

The bit where Tatsumi puts the food on her body had me thinking for a few seconds, then it “clicked.” It reminded me of when Samantha placed the sushi on her naked body in Sex and the city. Unfortunately for her, her boyfriend didn’t come home so she gave up lying there.

I see why you blanked out Jesus, God, etc. Because of the fine. I had been wondering why in chapter 1, but it all made sense and I thought it was a nice touch. But since Malachi actually does say it in chapter 3 you could probably put the names in here. Possibly, it’s still good either way.

Anyway, that’s all from me for now. I do intend to read on because I found it funny and I will get to “Taggers” when I have some more time as well.

G--- bless you (Hell, I had to put that in even if I’m not religious. Sorry, I’ll leave the humour to you). –Marita.

Seattle Strange


[shelved 14/12--22/1]

I absolutely loved this piece. I think what makes it is the narrator’s voice, so sarcastic and vulgar. And the use of language. Not only vernacular such as “schlong” and “fozle”, but also the words you have made up. I think “fuckulating” is my personal favourite! The (click ……) device works really well, and I found myself ironically having to google some of the American slang as I went along, such as “boondagger”. Apropos of this, I’d have thought “queer” encompassed “boondagger”, so it’s not strictly necessary, but that’s a minor quibble.

The concept is also extremely funny. A state which outlawed religion and possession of scripture punishable with a massive fine—even if it is tattooed on your manhood—is good, really good. But a drug called “faith”, with a dove embossed on the top for good measure, now that’s priceless. Incidentally, I was wondering if there’s a deliberate poke at the anti-proposition 19 lobby. I googled it, to make sure, and isn’t the Whitehouse Drugs Tsar, Gil Kerlikowske, originally from Seattle?

Great humour with the names. “Zygote” when Malachi is a clone and not NBC but MSN-BC. And I think the other names are extremely well chosen.

I love the characterisations. Malachi as the idle rich prankster… I missed the joke about redeveloping “Dick’s Drive-In” into a giant model of Malachi’s penis the first time around. Loved the joke about “erect”ing the model penis as well. And also the way Piper just wants to continue where they left off their conversation after he’s been in prison for a week. Oh and singing through the whole of his interview with the Dark Prophet, how shallow is that? I also found the bit where Malachi doesn’t say something to Piper because he just can’t be bothered to explain the backstory extremely amusing. The list is endless.


There is some interesting stuff being set up with Joshua Chippendale. You have him in the opening quotation, and launching a logey off the Space Needle. Then later, Malachi gets a logey on his head when visiting the Space Needle as a child. Presumably the same incident. Chippendale is the juror with the massive schlong in XYZ’s trial AND also at Malachi’s trial. You’ve got my curiosity up and running by now! Especially as he is described as young and pretty at XYZ’s trial. Was that earlier? If so, nice playing around with the timeline.

I noted a few tiny nits:

Chapter two. I don’t get the line about “but the clitoris is real”. And shortly afterwards I’m not sure if “the man looking back at [Malachi] is his reflection in the elevator glass. If so, then what is the line with “As long as he hasn’t gotten to Piper…” all about? I’m not sure what you intended here and if I got lost, someone else might too. Unless of course you wanted me to? Lol.

In chapter three, Malachi “first made it big by introducing to Asia mobile broadband Internet to cellular phones.” Isn’t that one “to” too many? And whilst I’m on chapter three, I can’t help but compliment you on having Malachi eat sushi from his naked maid’s body whilst being interviewed by the police. That’s excellent! But not as good as his arrest. "Pony play", that's priceless!

In chapter 11 you have: “Jail isn’t forever,” Brynn tells him. And then, on a new line: She says, “You want a blowjob?”. These are both Brynn’s lines and, as it’s in a block of dialogue on alternate lines, might be thought confusing. And given the general tone of the narration, I thought using “penis” farther down was a bit out of place. I’d have used one of the *many* available alternatives.

And in chapter 13: “I’m not fucking [in?]to country music!” The "in" needs adding, I think.
And here: “Glancing at Pipers’s naked bosom … Dave Seven, [he] goes, ‘Oh?’.” I think the “he” needs to go. It happens again here: “Dave Seven, [he] gets up, walks away and then twelve Mexicans…”. And that’s quite apart from my personal war on people using “go” and “like”.

Now the serious stuff: I do on the whole agree with Bradley and Fred about there being a bit too much of it here and there. The list of things which happened before “this” right at the beginning nearly put me right off, for example. The voice carried me through. There is definitely too much about Seattle in chapter two, although that works as a smokescreen for the throwaway remark about the loogey going over the side of the Space Needle. And you also mention Malachi’s Father several times, without really making the reader aware that Malachi is a main character. Oh and chapter 12 was just a list, but did contain vital information about Joshua buried away at the end. Maybe this could have been done better.

I did find chapter five a bit perplexing. So much so that I missed out quite a lot of detail when I first read it. The link between the number of species of blackberry and the number of citizens XYZ murdered, for example. Although, according to Wikipedia there are actually 375 species of blackberry. And then, re-reading to get this right, I noticed that XYZ also killed Malachi Throne. So if Joshua Chippendale gets his schlong out at XYZ’s trial, this must be *after* Malachi is killed, or, if he did it twice, then… And then again, having finally looked up the biblical reference I find it is about fathers and sons… I think I’m beginning to see where you’re going with this…

Anyhow, it’s fuckulatingly good. I hope you can find the time to take a look at “Bokassa’s Last Apostle” in return and let me know what you think. Thanks. I’m putting you onto my shelf.

Seattle Strange
Cover: I think it designed okay but not sure its telling me anything beyond CROSS symbol. One other item might give it real power...oh and the size for books here is 7x5.5 - so your name doesnt’ cut off
Title: I like it...and for whatever reasons, not sure why, am feeling a bit of Gus Van Sant about it...
Short pitch: Good. Has a Soft Skull Press quality - might look into them.
Long pitch: Nice...a comicbook/graphic novel smoothness
Text: Mostly I’m annoyed by prologues. I thought this well written (no suprise) but you might read this: http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2010/02/why-prologues-often-dont-work.html
XYZ...nice.
the click:xxxxxxx is a good device. I like it...feels a little Doug Coupland. (if youre a fan, that’s a good thing, if not, its not)
Hm, by the end, as entertained as I am by this chapter I’m wanting some dialog and action. In a way this feels like a second prologue. I do enjoy the title.
Malachi Throne...all these names have such great graphic novel qualities.
“your fabulist” heh...nice
Feels like there’s a bit of fat on this Arnold. I dig all the descriptions but occasionally I’m feeling...okay, let’s get to it. i.e. descriptions of who Malachi T is.
Lovely sneeze.
Do people in the future, even the near future really know what the Village People dressed like? I’d ask a few 18yr olds. heh... Fuck-me pumps feels like a dated term too.
I must admit, I had a crush on Dolly for a while...yes, beastial.
Best of luck with this, really solid good quality - Quentin Tarentino - cartoon goodness.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I am pleaseantly surprised. I like the pace, style and fast flowing tone of this, plus the inherant cynicism. It is, of course, sure to upset a lot of readers, which may explain the lack of comments, but this is really quite a slick production and quite cleverly crafted. I am ignorant of Barton Fink, but in places it reminded me of late period Philip K. Dick (only a lot raunchier).

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Ha ha - I absolutely love the 1st chapter (I'm a huge BArton Fink fan which helps). You know, it made me think of Phil Spector - it was everywhere but I have no idea what happened in the end - I think it went to retrial but I know I learned more about Wall of Sound than whether or not he did it.

It

Read the first three.
I like the chatty open style and the filmesque quality to the opening 'tour' and the psychologist's couch.
I figured the beginning is too long an introduction to Seattle because it slows the pace of the story and modern readers don't like scene setting unles it's brief and succinct.
Apart from that I enjoyed this.
Backed.!