The Rainbow Singer

I don't like mediaeval historical fiction as a rule - I avoid it - and I generally find hist fic which starts with the birth of a baby particularly cloying and cliche, yet with your fine, spare and stark opening, you defy both my prejudices and hooked my interest. You have captured the spareness and the almost barrenness of mediaeval life so eloquently, not in over-written over-wrought prose, but with an unadorned honesty which kept me reading long after I would normally have turned aside.

I fancy you could afford to break the opening chapter on here into smaller chapters for reader consumption, but otherwise, I think you are onto something with this. And were I to see this in a bookstore, I would most assuredly buy a copy to read on and learn how you unfold this highly intriguing tale.

Best - PB

Hi Rachel. Your book was recommended to me by Jane Dougherty as an excellent read and so it proved. The narrative and dialogue have a medieval flavour, which is not overdone as is sometimes the case in stories of this type. Your powers of description are evocative, again without being over done. The characters are beautifully crafted. I have great pleasure in backing your work and hope it does well. I’ve left a few comments that I hope prove useful. The work that's gone into crafting this story is clearly evident and shouts quality..

The opening paragraph: We told her it wasn't an auspicious day for a birth... is very evocative, it sets up the story beautifully.
I have ever loathed the smell of birthing rooms – blood and urine and excrement and the sickly infant smell of milk… a great use of the senses of sight and smell, enabling the reader to “see” the scene
Very minor nitpick: same, and this one smelled no [different.] One thing was [different] from… The use of the same word in close proximity mars the flow of the narrative. Suggest perhaps using: “was odd”… something along those lines.
After that, there was no further argument. Sir William had [privately] determined…How does the narrator know this, if the decision was made privately?

… permitted the child to be thwarted in anything since the day [that] we buried her mother… . … except [that] she is still covering for the man, despite the fact [that] he has made no effort to contact her in a six-month. Beware the bracketed word, it creeps in where you don’t need it. Eg: …permitted the child to be thwarted in anything since the day we buried her mother. …except she is still covering for the man, despite the fact he has made no effort to contact her in a six-month.
“The Lady Alina must know [that] you have been merciful to her… It will be a blessing to her, to give this child to God, and set her face towards the best marriage [that] you are able to contrive for her, my lord.” As above.

…of the wound across her [own] face. It seemed a bitter jest that she should have lost, by her [own] hand, the one thing for which she had fought so desperately. You don’t need the 1st “own” since it’s already clear it’s her face that’s been damaged.

Have you really not written any more? You must! This is seriously good work. What a lovely idea, singing the rainbow. You paint a very convincing picture of Medieval England, without labouring your knowledge – you know when to point out a detail and when to let our imagination do the rest. You set just the right tone with the style of writing, slightly old-fashioned without falling for any of the phoney archaicisms so beloved of amateur historical and fantasy writers.
I like the way Alina remains a mystery. In the first chapter you don’t describe her, later, Dominic only knows her as perpetually veiled, then when she lifts the veil she becomes just a livid scar.
There were just a few places where I had a question for you:
I didn’t understand why Alina was not more demonstrative with Dominic, his birth destroyed her life after all. I would have expected him to have become the centre of her world.
Facial scarring wouldn’t have put off a man after her money. Men married half-wits, mad women and hideously ugly women if they were heiresses.
I thought Dominic’s short exchange with Will Tanner about him being a bastard was possibly rather mature for a six year-old.

One typo I found in chapter five, paragraph beginning ‘I saw the reverence on Brother Mark’s face’
‘A servant had kept it, with.’ Something missing?

‘What I didn’t know was that one of them had murder in his heart.’ This phrase comes as a bolt from the blue. What a masterly transition from the safe, peaceful atmosphere of the Priory and Dominic’s easy-going life among the nuns.

This is an exceptionally good piece of writing and I sincerely hope you continue with Dominic’s story. I can see now why you enjoyed Inkfinger’s story. I share your fascination with this period of history.
This is an easy six stars and on the list for a place on my shelf.
Jane

You don't know whether this is worth finishing? FINISH IT!! It's written beautifully and the story is exciting. The first chapter made me feel quite squeamish!
What's going to happen to Dominic now Brother Mark is dead? Is this as far as you've written? Keep going, it's really good.
Becky x

This is a well-told story. I like that you are using a character to tell the tale instead of taking a 3rd person POV. It's refreshing and reminds me a bit of Wuthering Heights. There are probably a few nit-picks here and there, but once I got into the flow of the story I forgot to look for them. A few times I did stumble over unfamiliar vocabulary - but that could just be my own need to get out a dictionary get some "book learnin'". I will back this as soon as I have space on my shelf.

Jenny

Lordships..a bastard child..very interesting have put on my watchlist

This is superb writing. I am facinated with the synaesthete concept having just finished a story about a woman who cares for animals using this gift. I enjoy reading historical fiction and this is right in my realm! Backed for a while for so many reasons, mainly Id buy the book.

Skater

Beautifully written story. What more can I say? This will be spending time on my shelf.

I came across this by accident and put it on my WL weeks ago. Now I've had a read I am impressed by the authentic tone of the writing and the way the MC is introduced. You haven't uploaded a great deal but so far the unfolding of the plot is good, the characters and their dialogue believable. Starred. Lara
GOOD FOR HIM
A FEAST OF TALES

A very fine and lyrical historical novel with unusual and distinctive subject matter. The prose is mellifluous and flows organically and the historical detail adds to the story and enhances it, rather than swamping it, as happens with some historical novels.

I failed to notice any typos or nits. My only observation is that Chapter1 is quite long and slow moving, which may put some readers off. The tone and style noticably changes in chapter 2 and the book feels as if it grows wings. This serves to emphasise the heavier, wearier feel to chapter 1. Of course, by this time it has already been read, so it may not matter, but chapter 2 felt like the more typical opening chapter to a popular novel, whereas Chapter 1 has a different feel to it.

Good luck with this - it deserves to do well, so, yes, I'd give serious consideration to finishing it.

J.S.Watts
A Darker Moon

This is a wonderful story, and the manner of the telling entirely suitable for its setting. I love it. Marj.

The rainbow singer
Interesting and enjoyable to read, well written too
Backed
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

You are alluring readers to understand the way of incoming and disappearance of fortune and misfortune, through your novel.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

I don't like mediaeval historical fiction as a rule - I avoid it - and I generally find hist fic which starts with the birth of a baby particularly cloying and cliche, yet with your fine, spare and stark opening, you defy both my prejudices and hooked my interest. You have captured the spareness and the almost barrenness of mediaeval life so eloquently, not in over-written over-wrought prose, but with an unadorned honesty which kept me reading long after I would normally have turned aside.

I fancy you could afford to break the opening chapter on here into smaller chapters for reader consumption, but otherwise, I think you are onto something with this. And were I to see this in a bookstore, I would most assuredly buy a copy to read on and learn how you unfold this highly intriguing tale.

Best - PB

THE RAINBOW SINGER
Birthing of the story itself portends its interesting growth. So graphic. Elegant prose merrily dances with suspense and pathos singing along. For example. Ch 5. Unaccustomed colorful brilliance dazzling Dominic, an ominous hint about someone having murder in his mind, hateful remarks of Brother Simon, Brother Mark lying curled with pain, leaches let on his belly to suck the poison, Dominc being told that Mark was no more......
All gripping. Well writtwn. Not merely singing praise, I am backing the book as well.
T.M.Nagarajan
"NEVER LOSE..."

Added to my WL, will read asap. Sue ''It's a Dos Life''

Rachel -

The Rainbow Singer - What an unusual MC, with the rare condition a synaesthysia. In thirteenth century this must have struck people with awe, as divine or devilish gift, according to intent - he hears colours ... I remember sitting in the light, catching blue in my hand ... I lost myself in this elegantly written and psychologically subtle tale. You use Father John's pov in the first chapter and then Dominic's from there on. Are you heading chapters with the narrator's name because of others to come? I hope you put up continuations soon.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)