Substitute

Peter -

Substitute - did you re-work this? I seem to remember some incidents of the story from time ago. I would have never thought to intersperse prose with script, it works graphically, for me. You have a way to sum up things ... the bump under the borrowed wedding dress ... and ... lovely, the moment of recognition ... the whole architecture of language in one structured, clean flash ... Check out this sentence ... I preferred The Dharma Bums to On the Road by Kerouac was my god. ... The thing that made you therapist sigh, made me smile ... It's also a slice of history, the mods, the music. I didn't know Hugh Maskela was around then. I only read to chapter 5, just thought I let you know that I find your style impressive. I hope the story goes places. Here to thank you for your support of CoM. And rating you story high with stars for now. Pia

excuse the lack of upper case, but i fell on the ice and broke my wrist.

i've also written a film script and there are mant books and websites about the subject. advice given to me by director is, never use 'we see'. you don't need the actors expressions. never put in camera angles.

these are just my first thoughts. i've put your book on my watch list.

joanna

This rattles along like a good Who song. I too found the film scripts effective. I am unsure whether or not I might tire of the narrator's voice before the end, but I shall back it just the same.

The use of film-script interludes is intriguing: it enables the narrator (and thus the reader) to step away from the intense first-person reportage for brief moments while still continuing the story. The first is used to set the scene and the rest describe particularly traumatic events (the violence of Pete's father, Pete's heartbreaking parting from Rachel) in a pragmatic, detached - though still emotional - way. The last scene, where Pete disappears into the London crowds into an unknown future, carrying his guitar, is especially poignant. This is a story full of black comedy, rage and helpless tears, in which life, circumstances and a predilection for alcohol and drug-fuelled self-destruction combine to bar Pete from a love that might have saved him. Or not.

Excellent work. Well written, well directed. Well, well. What a pleasurable read.

Totally intriguing read so far. You set the scene up well at the start. You have such a unigue writing style and I look forward to finishing what you uploaded. Shelved for a while.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Have added your book to my WL will read fully asap as the first couple of chapters got my attention. Sue Harries ''It's a Dogs Life''

Dear Peter, I love that your pitch tells me that your story will have part film-script & part 1st person reportage of Pete & his abusive father, home on leave, & meeting Rachel. :) Your whole book was wonderful that your had some chapters soundtrack scenes sporadically & chapters of detail in others :) - this is totally unique :) - I love it. :) How exciting to have it this way :) - each chapter I could hardly wait to see if it would be another "soundtrack" I was sad about Rachel, though. ;( We can't always have happy endings, even through I love them. :) Thank you so much for sharing your dynamic story. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to back more than 24 hours when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs books, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing & backing-more-than-24-hours moves our books up authonomy's lists :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written arduously my best from my heart, as I'm sure your book is, too. :)

Dear Peter, "The ubiquitous aspirin sized-Blueys you washed down with water". Passionate, brave and a piece of nostalgic literature, which lends all the originality of a more meaningful time, [ albeit a bit more intense ], but MODS, Skinheads and Rockers; at least there was a real identity, for all those that felt lost. I laughed and cried, [ truly], at parts of your book, which reminded me of better times. [ I use to get the same effect you had with the Brown-Brown, when trying to wash down Magic Mushrooms ]. A great trip, well worth reliving. Backed with pleasure. Good luck with your book and best wishes. Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ]. ps, You don't know a Welsh MOD, called Peelings!. He was pretty infamous, [ had a small part in Quadrophenia ]. Take care.

:) I will comment on your book as soon as I have read it - read & commented on 4 hours later :)