Beyond the Darkness

Dear Susie: I'm putting your book on my watchlist and will read it and comment asap. I'm also asking those who survived childhood abuse to take a look at my workbook. As a psychologist, my primary concern has always been for adult survivors of child abuse and now that I am retired I have written a book to help these brave individuals titled "Refuge and Strength for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families". Do you think that working through this book would have been of any help to you as you dealt with all that you went through? I would appreciate any feedback you might offer and I will read your book. Blessings, Pat
http://www.authonomy.com/books/43509/refuge-and-strength-for-adult-children-of-dysfunctional-families-a-guided-workbook/

Hi touching story, hope the girl has righ suppport and com out of her painful memory.
She had question where is my real dad? Sad. a New world, there she had her father and rest o the family. A bad mother, word can hurt thats true word hurts. She said she is sorry and hope she changed for good.
Well written.

well written, well set out, well put together book. very well done.
backed.
read SEASONS...

Dear Susie,

You have the guts to open your heart to the world. Your story’s not a happy story and not many people can do what you’ve done. You’ve begun by quoting psalm 23. And I think that just goes on to show the optimism, courage, strength and undying faith that describe a person named Susie Smith. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

It’s been nearly a year since you’ve uploaded your story and also received a handful of good critiques / feedbacks (particularly that of Old Bob). I think that it’s time you took those suggestions to heart and refined your narrative. It needs to be organised into proper paragraphs and chapters and follow the normal rules of grammar in order to make itself presentable to a larger section of readers. Trust me when I say that more people need to read this. They need to know what kind of vile creatures inhabit God’s earth. But more than that, they must read this to learn that courage and hope prevail against all odds.

Best regards,
AGC

Susie i love that you are directly quoting psalm 23. I must admit that i filled up with tears straight away, because i knew that the story you are about to tell must be horrendous. I see the style you write you are telling your story and you tell it very well. I do think that if you are able to remember some of the dialogue of some of the events the story will have a lot more impact on the reader and it will actually draw the reader in to your story as if they are there with you. I know it is very difficult to write about a past of abuse, because you then have to re open the wounds from your past, it is a journey that it is impossible to be prepared for.
Best wishes with your writing Susie!

Susie,
You have outlined a touching story that should be told. I would like to read it when you have added content to you chapters.

Good luck,
BD Nelson

This is worth telling on paper. It is sad to think that there're people like this, but where to start I gues it wold be to add paragraphs. That would give the reader a sense of not feeling like it is winded. I'm sure you will do that when you get ready to finalize everything. That I think will have a greater impact to your story. We all have a story to tell and we would want the world to accept it, but first we need to make the first leap. Continue though, it has potiental.

Penny
The Glass Serpent

As Old Bob has already said, you clearly have a story to tell, and you have made a start by getting it down on paper.

Are you looking for a critique of the story, the writing style, the lay out, the punctuation...? Again, as Bob says, paragraphs would be a great place to start.

I'll give it a rating based on what you have done so far, and will check back to see if you have changed anything, or have said what aspect you would like reviewing.

Ian

Hi Susie. First I want to say that it was a pleasant surprise waking up this morning and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate it very much. When you have time I'd love to hear what you thought about what you read.

I took some time this morning to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work, but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs, you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell whose talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things, I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say that it was a pleasant surprise waking up this morning and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate it very much. When you have time I'd love to hear what you thought about what you read.

I took some time this morning to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work, but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs, you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell whose talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things, I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can therapeuticdo (isn't it )? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Susie. First I want to say it was a pleasant surprise waking up and seeing that you backed my book. I appreciate that very much. When you have time, I'd love to hear your impression of what you read.

I took some time this morning trying to go through what you've written. No matter what anyone says, getting your story down on paper is the most important thing you can do (isn't it therapeutic)? You can fix anything after that; that's what editors are for.

I know you have a story to tell; it's warm and it's tragic, but it's hidden deep within your rambling narrative. I'm not a trained writer so I can't give you advice about what to do with your work; but I can share with you what people have told me over the years I've been writing my book.

For a new writer, short is best. Short sentences with a single thought, nothing complex. Short paaragraphs, and this is important, you've got to break your narrative up into short paragraphs so reading your book is not so daunting. Regardless of what you have to say, your words have to flow. If you don't keep your thoughts and ideas together in separate little paragraphs you lose the concept of continuity - you can't tell who's talking or thinking or doing what. The same with chapters, use them to move from scene to scene.

If you take what you've already got and just do these few things I believe you'll see a big difference in your story and folks will be able to digest it more and help you more.

Please don't think I'm being mean or anything like that. I'm just trying to suggest things that I think will help you the most at this time.

Good luck - and finish your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hello Susie .
The cover alone tells the story to come, and the pitch brings one in to read more.
glad i did, because the story, a very harrowing one, brought me along page by page.
You have written the story down as it comes to mind , line by line, with great honesty, nothing hidden, its all there.
when you have it complete and re-edit i have no doubt that it will present itself better, i e paragraph and chapters, and other layouts for easy reading, The content is very good , the introduction of dialogue into the story lines makes for more interesting reading. apart from that, your book has great potential.
good luck
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
please back mine if you like it, about a boy growing up in dubllin 40s between age 4 to 14

Hello Susie .
The cover alone tells the story to come, and the pitch brings one in to read more.
glad i did, because the story, a very harrowing one, brought me along page by page.
You have written the story down as it comes to mind , line by line, with great honesty, nothing hidden, its all there.
when you have it complete and re-edit i have no doubt that it will present itself better, i e paragraph and chapters, and other layouts for easy reading, The content is very good , the introduction of dialogue into the story lines makes for more interesting reading. apart from that, your book has great potential.
good luck
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
please back mine if you like it, about a boy growing up in dubllin 40s between age 4 to 14

Congrats on your courage to tell the whole story.
Best of luck,
Marija

I have backed this for the message it portrays and the content. Yet I am hoping that you will use the constructive advice available on here to work on the presentation. I am no expert but recognise that it needs breaking up into shorter paragraphs and needs a good editing. I wish you all the best with your book and admire your courage in attempting to write a true account.

Backed,

Lisa

Hi Susie.

I'm no expert on grammar and punctuation so please feel free to ignore my comments but, I started reading this book with interest only to discover that the paragraph lengths [1900-odd words!!?] made your story really difficult to follow. I know you've stated its a rough draft and has not been editing yet, yet I'm afraid the current format may put a lot of people off reading your work. This would be a real shame because your prose, on the whole, is pretty good and the story you have to tell is interesting. I would really hate to see your book get overlooked or remain low in the rankings simply because of punctuation and grammar issues which detract from what you are trying to convey.

That said, the content is worthy of a rating, so I've given you 4*'s. It’s just a shame that I feel I am unable to back it at the moment based purely on the current presentation.

Sorry ..

Alex
x

You are totally fantastic, Susie!! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs/testimony book? :) God bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is ******-rated (6 gold ******'s) :) Every ****** -ing & backing more than 24 hours moves our books up authonomy's lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf because I'm 9 from the editor's desk & trying to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of December :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9-1/2 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year

Is not using any punctuation deliberate? Because it does make it hard to read. Will comment when I've got a bit further.

Dear Susie, I love that you are telling your true story, as your pitch portrays :) - I told mine, too, in my memoirs, so understand, but praise God, He has always been there, as you tell before you ever started chapter 1, "The Lord is my Shepherd.." Ps.23. :) My sister Mary went through since she was a baby our father molesting her & then raping her aged 5-11 until she finally told someone although all those years he'd threatened to kill us all if she ever told, so he went to prison - she is 74 & bi-polar, controlled by meds :) - praise God for meds. :) Just like your uncle & his shotgun, my twin brother threatened my father with his shotgun when my sister told my twin that he was raping her again when she was divorced with 3 kids & he never touched her again. :) Thank you for sharing with the world that abuse is not all right - may God bless you & protect you, like in the 23rd Psalm. :) I have read, commented on & put you book on my watchlist to back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) p.s. every backing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing-more-than-24-hours & the longer the better :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written arduously my best from my heart, as I'm sure your book is, too. :)

:) I will comment on your book as soon as I have read it :)