Wilberforce & Grace

I don't know what to say. Your voice is so much your own, that I find the idea of tampering with it or even making any suggestions to change anything at all a futile enterprise. You write with humor and intelligence. You writing is so dense that I cannot skim for fear that I will miss a turn of phrase or nuance of the text. I had to treat each paragraph as its own unique literary unit as I read this. This is some of the best sort of writing. Writing that makes you both think and laugh at the same time. I've been meaning to read this for a while. I'm really glad I finally got around to it. This is a heady mix of P.G. Wodehouse and something uniquely your own.

Thanks for a wild ride.

- Bunderful (author of Master of the Miracles)

Whoster,

Here is my review of the first two chapters of Wilberforce and Grace. I have stopped at two chapters for no other reason than the fact that I am limited by time.

Before I start, none of what I will put is in any way written in order to get feedback or a reciprocal read from you. I don’t comment to get comments and I always put what I really think – it’s important for me that you know that.
Lastly, I would say that I think the last time I read a comedy book was about twenty years ago, I say this as it will be interesting for me to see if my love for screen comedy, theatre farce, stand-up etc transfers to the page – it’s just occurred to me that maybe I am missing out on a whole genre here.

Short Pitch – flawless, it carries style, meaning and delivers intent.

Long Pitch – love the comparison, and the names, Wilberforce Windcheater is especially excellent. There was a character in a computer game once called Guybrush Threepwood, and your naming convention reminds me of him, which is a compliment BTW. The long pitch does its job well, introduces other characters and plays on the differences between Wilberforce and Grace.

Chapter One

Opening paragraph made me laugh. Actually laugh. I’ll tell you why. All great comedy is observational, slightly bitter-sweet and transfers readily to everyday life. That’s what you do. He’s thirty, lives with his mum, and had to pay for his one and only shag. Love it.

The two hardest genres in the world to write are comedy and horror, the reason being is that beyond creating a decent, readable, well written book, you have to engender a feeling in your audience, laughter in your case, fear in the case of the horror writer and it ain’t easy. You my friend pull it off exceptionally well.

The chapter continues apace and is littered with gems – Grace buffeted her way through life and relationships with the tranquillity of a Tasmanian Devil on amphetamines – ROFL. Awesome stuff. You read like a modern P G Wodehouse, very English which again is good because I think that the good old folk of the UK are the only people on God’s green earth who truly get farce.

Chapter Two

Let me just say that as well as being funny, this is exceptionally well written. Your dialogue is tight and delivers both plot and humour – the start of this chapter reminds me of Richard Curtis, your descriptive work is solid and you have a style and coherent voice that never breaks, that voice is the source of your wit and humour and so there is never a sense of you trying too hard, or reaching for the laughs – they come naturally which is what makes it all so funny.

I swear to you that you have me hooked. I am going to keep coming back to finish this book off because it is genuinely funny, its well observed and you are a keen wordsmith – a winning combination for me.

Would you perchance be a fan of Dylan Thomas? Your language reminds me of his – seriously, you are a master wordsmith and that is so endearing. In the days when people tout minimalist magnolia fiction as the way forward, you and others of your ilk spread the gospel of language as a key component to the work itself. Language as a character, as an integral aspect of the tale.

Easy six stars for me.

I will read it all and when I move things around in the New Year, it will get some time on my shelf.

My hat off to you sir, you are genuinely funny. Like Wodehouse, crossed with Richard Curtis and recounted back with the voice of Dylan Thomas.

Brilliant.

I got to this later than inended, but I'm definitely glad I did! Prologue and two chapters in and it's riotously intelligent, ruthlessly cutting, bleakly comical stuff.

I've been hoping to come across some true laugh-out-loud moments on the site for a while now and I'm thrilled to see you've delivered in spades! It'd be my pleasure to shelve this - again, not because of your positive Freerale feedback to me, but because this is some genuinely impressive, even inspiring, work that deserves a wider audience.

Just as sci-fi isn't your cup of tea, the 'real world' is scarcely mine, but it's a true delight when work like this proves me wrong - and has me hooting chuckles at the wayfaring wordisms, barbed metaphors and caustic wit in the process. Please do genuinely let me know if this becomes available for sale, via self-publication or via mainstream publishing; I'd be delighted to support you.

- Tony

I knew I was going to enjoy this when I finished the first para of the prologue - Wilberforce's single "carnal triumph achieved only via a cash payment." Genius! Then, as our borderline autistic hero begins his time travelling capers under the tap of the data-inputting washroom, the cleverly worked comic moments trip over each other for attention. This is Garp meets Wodehouse, isn't it, with just a dash of Dylan T. I LOVE your language, Pete!

Oh, and I recognise Grace. She's a composite of every girlfriend I've ever had - absolute nutters, all of them!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

I’m not usually a fan of prologues but this one is very well written and gives us a snap shot of the hapless Wilberforce and the OCD that rules his life. It also introduces us to this author’s unique voice and wonderful humour. In chapter one we go back in time to the beginning of WWII where we meet the slightly less hapless William (Wilberforce’s father) who wants so much to be a hero but sadly is allergic to danger. We meet his teacher who seems hell bent on slippering his way to victory. William survives the war and gets lucky (and unlucky) on V.E. day. I then skipped to chapter 27 and we’re now in the seventies (perfectly recalled by the author) and both father and son are having very strange surreal but hilarious dreams. Having grown up in England during the 70’s it was wonderfully nostalgic to be transported back so artfully. I really enjoyed this. It’s clever, it’s funny and it’s original. A joy to read. I look forward to dipping back in to the mad world of Wilberforce and really hope this finds an agent and/or publisher soon as it deserves to be enjoyed by a wide audience.

Horace Wimp or Norman Stanley James St. Clair, Wilberforce Windcheater refines and redefines nerdism. Sister Grace is anything but, a predator in a land of dozy sheep or, as the author puts it, she exhibits the tranquillity of a Tasmanian devil on amphetamines. They were the byproducts, if not exactly offspring, of the unlovely William and the unlovely Catherine Crump Windcheater.

The author's writing a loaded with wry observations and treats us to a joyride amongst the madness of the protagonists' mad world. Mrs Trumperting and Miss Worlechort… what a trip. I love the characters.

The first several chapters reveal the history of the Windcheaters and about everyone else they come in contact with. But with this superb story, it's about the journey, not the destination. It's droll, clever, and long after I cycle my shelf, it will be in my watch-list.

At last Wilberforce gets his day: I thoroughly, happily back his story!

Good writer.

George

WIBERFORCE & GRACE
This is a fun story to read. I’m sure others will remind you, you include a lot of “tell” when you should concentrate on “show” but I enjoyed your descriptions of characters immensely. Made me feel I really know these characters. I meant to only read the first chapter but found myself reading on and on. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Dear Peter

There is no doubt whatever that your writing is sharp, amusing and original.

Reading past the first few painful opening paragraphs - ouch! - I begin to perceive that your characters are all blackly amusing, each in their own way. There is no personal attack here, as I first felt, but rather a look at a slightly off beat and strange world, in which everyone'e eccentricities are laid bare. Your unsentimental prose is accurate, sometimes painful, insightful and worth a second look.

I wish you well with your unique and engaging writing.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

After three chapters I'm wondering when we will get to the comedy. The characters are there for it but the story seems to be going nowhere and the humour missing. Sorry if this seems hard but maybe trimming to bring the main tale to the front would and feed in the background as the tale unfolds would help. Best of luck with this.

This is such a joy to read, Peter. The humour flows naturally. The characters come across as living, breathing individuals; charming yet odd.

PS. re Glastonbury. That's amazing. M

Hi Pete. Only got up to the fourth chapter but it's great fun so far. Looking forward to getting to the meat of the plot. Great humour.

This has the potential to be very funny, I love the idea. I hope this goes a long way. I love books that make me laugh, and this one has hit the spot.

Good luck with it.

Brilliant.

Oh Pete, I'm so pleased I started reading this. I'm on chapter 5 and will definitely now set aside time to read it all. This is surely going to get published. God, I loved some of your lines, 'Like a Tazmanian Devil on amphetemine', 'dragging his leg like Douglas fuckin' Barder' to name but a couple, hysterical. Your descriptions are brilliant, I can picture every one of your characters and now I'm looking forward to getting to know Grace a bit more, and of course whatever it is that she gets Wilbur involved with. A great book, well written and I believe, odds on that when it gets to the desk, they'll want to talk to you. xxx Jue xxx

Ah, this is great stuff. Love the neat character summaries and sly asides, love your use of language and although I'm not entirely sure if I'm supposed to love Grace, I kinda sorta do. You're already on my shelf and you won't be leaving any time soon. Bravo sir!

Whoster,

Here is my review of the first two chapters of Wilberforce and Grace. I have stopped at two chapters for no other reason than the fact that I am limited by time.

Before I start, none of what I will put is in any way written in order to get feedback or a reciprocal read from you. I don’t comment to get comments and I always put what I really think – it’s important for me that you know that.
Lastly, I would say that I think the last time I read a comedy book was about twenty years ago, I say this as it will be interesting for me to see if my love for screen comedy, theatre farce, stand-up etc transfers to the page – it’s just occurred to me that maybe I am missing out on a whole genre here.

Short Pitch – flawless, it carries style, meaning and delivers intent.

Long Pitch – love the comparison, and the names, Wilberforce Windcheater is especially excellent. There was a character in a computer game once called Guybrush Threepwood, and your naming convention reminds me of him, which is a compliment BTW. The long pitch does its job well, introduces other characters and plays on the differences between Wilberforce and Grace.

Chapter One

Opening paragraph made me laugh. Actually laugh. I’ll tell you why. All great comedy is observational, slightly bitter-sweet and transfers readily to everyday life. That’s what you do. He’s thirty, lives with his mum, and had to pay for his one and only shag. Love it.

The two hardest genres in the world to write are comedy and horror, the reason being is that beyond creating a decent, readable, well written book, you have to engender a feeling in your audience, laughter in your case, fear in the case of the horror writer and it ain’t easy. You my friend pull it off exceptionally well.

The chapter continues apace and is littered with gems – Grace buffeted her way through life and relationships with the tranquillity of a Tasmanian Devil on amphetamines – ROFL. Awesome stuff. You read like a modern P G Wodehouse, very English which again is good because I think that the good old folk of the UK are the only people on God’s green earth who truly get farce.

Chapter Two

Let me just say that as well as being funny, this is exceptionally well written. Your dialogue is tight and delivers both plot and humour – the start of this chapter reminds me of Richard Curtis, your descriptive work is solid and you have a style and coherent voice that never breaks, that voice is the source of your wit and humour and so there is never a sense of you trying too hard, or reaching for the laughs – they come naturally which is what makes it all so funny.

I swear to you that you have me hooked. I am going to keep coming back to finish this book off because it is genuinely funny, its well observed and you are a keen wordsmith – a winning combination for me.

Would you perchance be a fan of Dylan Thomas? Your language reminds me of his – seriously, you are a master wordsmith and that is so endearing. In the days when people tout minimalist magnolia fiction as the way forward, you and others of your ilk spread the gospel of language as a key component to the work itself. Language as a character, as an integral aspect of the tale.

Easy six stars for me.

I will read it all and when I move things around in the New Year, it will get some time on my shelf.

My hat off to you sir, you are genuinely funny. Like Wodehouse, crossed with Richard Curtis and recounted back with the voice of Dylan Thomas.

Brilliant.

Really enjoyable read, even if I am not a Will & Grace fan.

Well done uncle Pete, this is really funny!

This is completely bonkers and surreal. Well done for such originality and some very funny lines!

- AJT.

I put this on my shelf, but I have a couple of criticisms. First is a tendency to over-explain. Second, "insert his manhood into a female" is the worst wording on so many levels. Otherwise it has good potential.

Hello Peter--book-
Wilberforce and Grace--

READ the prologue and first few chapters and then chunks more of it last night before lights out, and yes- this is the best time to read this oh so funny book; it had me chuckling to myself non-stop, just the tonic the doctor ordered.
This ride through decades of farce 59s through to 80s has to be one of the best comical books on the site.
' carnal knowledge via cash payment ' and not to mention the send up of Hitler ; just great.

really enjoyed this highly entertaining read and will be back for more.
in it's genre I give it my six stars and have no doubt that it will go to the top, well done on writing this uplifting book.
tom bye
book-from hugs to kisses'
if time please glance at mine, thanks

This story of working class life and sexual honesty and dishonesty reminds me of Alan Sillitoe. Grace particularly offers an antihero who while unremittingly nasty and self-interested always manages to invite a sneaky sympathy. The way that minor characters' stories are developed and cleverly used within the main plot was immensely satisfying.

Hooked from the Prologue! Funny & clever, wow. You've blown me away with your writing. Jealous.

Chapter 27

Whoa, Pete, this is literary surrealism taken to levels not seen since chap 12 of Belle's P & P!. Words fail me, mate. The doll test-card dream is absolutely bonkers and I may not be alone in thinking it too "out there" for the general reader. If you could cut it to just a couple of paras, though, I think it could work.

I enjoyed the rest far more, particularly the aptly named Mrs Trumperting's posthumous explosions. My favourite line? Well, if you take the first "me" out, "I can't complain, but (me) playing dead is playing me up a bit" is an absolute corker!

Oh, just spotted an important typo. Don't you mean "William LAID back on the pilow" in the final section?

Good luck with this - with a thorough edit and a favourable wind (ask Mrs T), I think you've got a winner!

Joe

Chapter 2...

Oh dear, Pete, my first real gripe. This chapter didn't really work for me. I checked down your comments to see if I was alone, and it appears I'm not. When Wilberforce decided he'd had enough of the old lady's droning, I sadly had to agree. Miss Worlechort does go on a bit, and it's not particularly funny.

BUT this chapter has one VERY funny scene - in fact, so funny that I was hugging me sides! This of course is the "zeppelin shaped pet" sniffing Walter's unattended dinner. That cat scene is priceless! (and I should know, I've had two books up featuring cats and sausages recently). Is there any way you could develop this out more? How about sending Walter to hospital instead of Mr Topsoil - after gorging himself jealously on the cat's food in the dead of night? I dunno, you have two great comic characters here - Walter and Ephraim (!) - it's a pity to throw them away in just a few short paragraphs.

Oh, one small suggest here: "He spent his lazy days bemoaning his only treat of the week - his sausages - while the cat was pampered..' (i.e. cut "being").

Chapter 1

...in which we are introduced to Wilberforce's dad, the almost equally dysfunctional William, against the backdrop of Hitler-bashing WWII schoolroom paranoia (loved Mr Meyland's rant, at the end of which he "was standing erect in every way"- fab!) and thence to William's lucky VE Day encounter with Catherine - which produce two truly laugh-out-loud (and very visual) comic gems: "Two cherries as one gloriously vaporised" and "William scored a direct hit with his seed". It's deliciously sly little asides like this which set your work apart, Peter!

A strong chapter, with only one tiny suggest: how about "...he was secretly delighted HIS chronic short-sightedness meant he could not...etc."

Oh, and it may be pushing it, but why not play up the myopia by quipping: "The trouble with William was that he set his (short) sights too high."

I knew I was going to enjoy this when I finished the first para of the prologue - Wilberforce's single "carnal triumph achieved only via a cash payment." Genius! Then, as our borderline autistic hero begins his time travelling capers under the tap of the data-inputting washroom, the cleverly worked comic moments trip over each other for attention. This is Garp meets Wodehouse, isn't it, with just a dash of Dylan T. I LOVE your language, Pete!

Oh, and I recognise Grace. She's a composite of every girlfriend I've ever had - absolute nutters, all of them!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

Only got as far as your pitch tonight, Pete, but it's GREAT - a triumph in alliteration. Misdeeds and mishaps...farcical furrows - count me in! I'm a keen lover of opposites, so the juxtaposition of anal, retentive OCD-struck Wilberforce and unbridled, socially 'expressive' Grace really reeled me in....

My eye only stuck in one place, mate. Don't you mean "IN the guise of brother and sister"?

NItey, nite...

I got to this later than inended, but I'm definitely glad I did! Prologue and two chapters in and it's riotously intelligent, ruthlessly cutting, bleakly comical stuff.

I've been hoping to come across some true laugh-out-loud moments on the site for a while now and I'm thrilled to see you've delivered in spades! It'd be my pleasure to shelve this - again, not because of your positive Freerale feedback to me, but because this is some genuinely impressive, even inspiring, work that deserves a wider audience.

Just as sci-fi isn't your cup of tea, the 'real world' is scarcely mine, but it's a true delight when work like this proves me wrong - and has me hooting chuckles at the wayfaring wordisms, barbed metaphors and caustic wit in the process. Please do genuinely let me know if this becomes available for sale, via self-publication or via mainstream publishing; I'd be delighted to support you.

- Tony

I’m not usually a fan of prologues but this one is very well written and gives us a snap shot of the hapless Wilberforce and the OCD that rules his life. It also introduces us to this author’s unique voice and wonderful humour. In chapter one we go back in time to the beginning of WWII where we meet the slightly less hapless William (Wilberforce’s father) who wants so much to be a hero but sadly is allergic to danger. We meet his teacher who seems hell bent on slippering his way to victory. William survives the war and gets lucky (and unlucky) on V.E. day. I then skipped to chapter 27 and we’re now in the seventies (perfectly recalled by the author) and both father and son are having very strange surreal but hilarious dreams. Having grown up in England during the 70’s it was wonderfully nostalgic to be transported back so artfully. I really enjoyed this. It’s clever, it’s funny and it’s original. A joy to read. I look forward to dipping back in to the mad world of Wilberforce and really hope this finds an agent and/or publisher soon as it deserves to be enjoyed by a wide audience.

Pete

Read to chapter 8 so far and really enjoying the experience. Well written, very funny, unique, eccentric and very English! I love it, so will be reading more later. That Cliff Richard has a lot to answer for doesn't he?!!

Jane (Jedye)

I don't know what to say. Your voice is so much your own, that I find the idea of tampering with it or even making any suggestions to change anything at all a futile enterprise. You write with humor and intelligence. You writing is so dense that I cannot skim for fear that I will miss a turn of phrase or nuance of the text. I had to treat each paragraph as its own unique literary unit as I read this. This is some of the best sort of writing. Writing that makes you both think and laugh at the same time. I've been meaning to read this for a while. I'm really glad I finally got around to it. This is a heady mix of P.G. Wodehouse and something uniquely your own.

Thanks for a wild ride.

- Bunderful (author of Master of the Miracles)

It's a pleasure to keep this on my shelf, Peter. You write with such wit and drollery; I guess your own sense of glee is what makes this so, so funny. I do believe there is a touch of the old Dylan Thomas in your bones. 'Under Milk Wood' springs to mind...you know, the gossipy postman that reads all the letters so he can tell the recipients what news to expect?

Pleased to see this climbing the rating.

Mary

Lol for real. Great idea, funny and fun. Some larger-than-life characters. A must read for anyone with a sense of humour.

This looked initially perhaps over-mannered (in a Dickensian stylistic sense,) but I think it justifies itself. It's definitely vital and maybe even populist. I'm trying to grasp what makes a book potentially gripping, in any sense (highbrow or lowbrow)--as I sort of zone out around chapter 5. I zone out on everything, and anybody would zone out on an uploaded Hamlet, I expect. I think it's quite good, though.

I've literally said this 15 times to other authors--there seem to be a glut of good unpublished (male, mostly) British literary writers here--I don't know what's going on there. In actual literary reading life, I've noticed the British seem adept at arch-verbal, comedic framing, while never approaching bizarre metaphysical aesthetics of a Kafka or Borges (for example.) Since both of these approaches are utter nonsense to anyone involved in the business of publishing books, good luck, anyway.

This is an interesting book. I really didn't know what to expect when I read the pitch but when I started reading it I was entertained. Very nicely written and the story moves along well. It was hilarious and I could almost picture the man when you described him in the first para.

I'm giving you 5 stars.

Shirani

Chocolate Cake Dreams

Did someone really call this 'puerile shit'? Personally, I love anything 'puerile' since men rarely grow up anyway. As for the 'shit', again I have to say that nothing gives quite the same satisfaction and sense of fulfilment as a hearty dump! To be able to produce something that inspires other readers to make such insightful comments can't be at all bad, can it? Keep it puerile, Pete, and never mind the bollocks!
Yer oul mate
Stewart

Excellent, highly original, it should fly off the shelves.

Excellent and highly original. It should fly off the shelves.

Peter

I only read your book because of the post in the forums saying it was, 'a load of puerile shit'. And I am really happy I did! I really really enjoyed the first chapter and aim to read more. I love your writing style, very funny without being absurdly over the top. Can't put my finger on what I like so much about it but what keeps coming to mind is Evelyn Waugh after a couple of joints. Starred and backed.

Cheers
Trent

Lovely fast paced read, entertaining just as it promises from the pitch .. really good read.

Wilberforce & Grace. Peter - I'm seizing the moment!

I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. Wilberforce shuffling, and Grace buffeting through life... and his queer compulsive obsessions - totally mystifying, but with a progressive (or is it regressive?) logic. I'm grabbing that hook at the end of the chapter, and reading onwards.

Ch.2. Oh - that was a prologue.
A bristly picture of Mr. M's angry tufts of grey hair bursting from his nostrils - And that angry arousal - and him standing erect in every way. Oh wow!
Do you want nits? Unnecessary words like easily, fully can safely be searched for and deleted, to make your writing flow even better.
So this is a recounting of their parentage - I'm wondering if that Prologue is actually necessary (having been persuaded to relegate mine to its proper place in time). It does cause a bit of bother in my head.

Ch.3. You must have had such fun with this book - going off onto tangents and chatting away, looking for opportunities to veil your humour. It paints an addictive and refreshing picture of life, which is easy to read and leaves me panting for more. And those names...
I've found another nit: where Catherine got her timing right and said she'd really have to be getting along. You can safely delete the 'just' word, which grammarians dont like at all. It happens twice more in the next paragraph.

I must leave you now, with that personal bouquet of stale urine, but I'll be back for more treasures when I feel the urge.

Jane (Breath of Africa)

Peter,

I like your pitches. Your writing kept me reading your chapters. Your wit and humor forced me to place this entertaining piece of work on my shelf. Laughter ain't milk, but it does a body just as good.

R.A. Battles

I'm still loving this, Peter. Visions of the overly large baby Grace having tantrums and causing stress to William and Catherine so soon after the peak of their delight on May 8th 1945 is, you might say, unjust. It is so fast paced, witty, and very, very funny. Lots of observational comedy. Love your alliterations too.

Good luck with it.

Mary

I'm 5 chapters in, and loving it. It's zany, unpredictable and funny. The characters are all slightly larger than life, which works brilliantly given the overall energy of the writing. I'm also impressed by the way you've caught the flavour of each era.

My only reservation would be that at times, I get the feeling that there's so much compressed into one sentence/paragraph that I'm missing things I might enjoy more if they were allowed a bit of room to expand.

This is a copy-paste of my last comment to another fellow:

"Looks pretty competently written. I assume you're another one of those British authors on here who could conceivably be published if any publishing professional imagined another literary novel--even of outstanding merit--could conceivably sell."

It does look notably, outstandingly well sown-together, though, upon first perusal. This may be resolutely unhelpful to you, if you yourself know this (like I'm talking to myself, as I glance through manuscripts languidly and uselessly.) If I delve deeper and register anything to say, I will note it.

What's to say except a zany piece of work written with clever attention. Its not always easy to be funny and keep it readable without appearing silly, but you have mastered this story well.
The names alone bring a smile and this is proving to be a fast paced, easy read where the humour is guaranteed to entertain. No nit-picks, just enjoyed what I've read.
Happy to star and support. Margaret.

Hi Peter

I've read 3 chapters and I like it. It is very well written and keeps the comic pace very well - something mine does not (then again, mine's not comedy...). There are very few issues I noticed, but those I did were:

I think 'slump-shouldered' would work just as well as 'slumped-shouldered', but is easier to read.

'...pumpjack (-) would induce...'

I'm not sure about the prologue - it jumps from brother to sister, which is fine, but then comes to what Wilberforce is doing at present, which is a bit jarring. Perhaps just a break between the describing them and then the present happenings would help.

'horn-rimmed'

'Yes, Windcheater(?)'

I'm also unsure about the whole part with William in the classroom. Is it necessary? It doesn't seem it, amusing though it may be.

'Everybody(,) that was(,) except...'

'...well(-)meaning - albeit bigoted (-) lady...'

I think usually it's 'aww' for showing....er...for example, 'aww, how cute...awwww'.

Again, I'm not sure about the bits with the parents. If the book is about the two of them, then why have an entire chapter dedicated to the mother listening to an old woman's rant? It's amusing, but to be blunt, I don't think it's funny enough to take up an entire chapter of a book that should surely have nothing to do with her.

I would have read more, but to be honest, I got a bit bored of reading about these characters who have nothing to do with the title characters. I skipped through chapters 4 and 5, and even those only contain brief references to them. I want to back the book, but am tempted not to simply because the title characters I was led to believe the book was about have been, so far, barely in it.

So overall, I'm conflicted. It's very good, yet a little disappointing. So on the basis of not being about - for several chapters - what the pitch claims, and the title suggests, I don't want to back it. On the basis of the writing, I will. I'm sure it will do well, and I can see it sitting next to Adrian Mole books on my step-mother's bookshelf.

I'd appreciate it if you have a chance to have a read of, and comment on, my own book, too. Thanks :)

Pete - the promised read. I've never been published nor have any literary training so feel free to deal with my comments as you wish. I'll add that I feel Comedy is the toughest genre to write.

Very solid opening Chapter, your style of humour coming through very clearly. I'm a lover of Tom Sharpe and I feel one of the secrets to his success is the manner in which he juxtaposes two parallel people, or scenes. Wilberforce and Grace do that very naturally. You've the essence of a story starting, particularly now you've equipped the reader with the knowledge he's going to save her and rounded of this Chapter with some excellent descriptions, so I'm ready to keep reading - forget typos.

Only one mild quibble - I felt you overplayed the humour with the rabies pandemic charm suggestion.

Chapter 2 - nice touch with the CAPS - somehow set the time for me.

From the madness of school you slow the pace with William's eventual meeting of Catherine - again nice touch not overdoing the humour. I loved the phrase indicating two cherries vapourised as one. For me in particular it's a teasing view into post war Empire and your phrases are spot on.

Nice Chapter headings also - seems simple - could it be better? - Miss Worlechort and the Thursday Sausages? The intrigue leads the reader in.

I was not going to mention the humour but guess I should - that Cliff Richard became an inspiration for Teddy Boys brought out a decent laugh. I remember the young ones also. Neil would have loved that. And Worlechort is a wonderful character, as these sorts of reads require. You've leveraged her well, leading from Ciff to black immigration and from this distance in time her bigotry is that much more magnified. Start of some good dialogue here and looking forward to more. Would she have smelt of stale urine - or dettol - just a thought.

Chapter 4 and again strong characters with the arrival of Martha Major. The switch to a dialogue led Chapter is good and you bring together all the memories of early school. Felt the humour slightly slow here until Stan enters with ayestotheleft - that worked for me.

OK moved on to later Chapters as am sure others have read here.

Chapter 10 - again wonderful evocative heading. Really entices the readers imagination to go into overdrive and that's what humour is about. Love the managers name and by the time she's actually reaching out for the picallili I'm ready - and it's a nice teasing Chapter that works.

Chapter 11 and another shining star to this read is your irreverent choice of names - my visions of Miss Hussey rocking (banging) away on the piano made me smile. That people are becoming slack workers as defined by Mr Leyland may be lost on some but I'm of that era and loved it. A great Chapter this that slowly gains speed, with Plundeira escaping at the last minute. You've pushed my own memories of school assemblies and hymns and smiles throughout here and the odd chuckle.

Peter a good read this. I've not seen any of the totally merciless scenes Sharpe occasionally used but you've certainly pushed the ones I've read into the right level of irreverence. The smaller touches such as the nomenclature of both people and Chapters really pushes this up an extra notch also. No questions at all about the writing and I've very little to suggest for improvement. I'll back this. Best. Steve.

Peter, Kat was right in her comment on the forum, I did love reading this. I've read the prologue and first six chapters.

Poor Wilberforce, really doesn't have much going for him in the prologue and the descriptions of his OCD were very effective.

I love that line with the gooseberries and acid description of Wilberforce and Grace. Some great moments and lines stood out: the episode with Grandpa in the outdoor toilet in the war, the old lady complaining about Cliff Richard and his bad influence, the aptly named Mrs Trumperting and her farting habit and the brilliantly set death of Mr Meyland Snr.

I really have absolutley nothing constructive I can find to add. This is well written, polished and very easy to read.

Chapter 1 rings with a flowing humour and is a pleasure to read.
I could only find one sentence that might need a bit of a clean-up:
"he was secretly delighted chronic short-sightedness..."

Peter

I am appalled. Really trully appalled. Horrified.

Grace........... sounds just like me!!!! (But I wouldnt ever admit it to another soul, so shhh eh?)

Loved this so much. I have only just joined Authonomy, and today filled my bookshelf with my favourite reads. I am hoping to put yours on next, after I have kept the current lot there for atleast a day or two. Am still sniggering at the descriptions of Grace and Wilbut (ah I too have a long suffering brother, but that's another story).

Praise for your work? Plenty. Well written, good concept, funny one of a kind descriptions, and memorable lines. There that's quite enough. Don't want to spoil you now do I?

If, you have lots of time spare - will you read my work - Malford - and let me know what you think?

Hope to hear from you
Samragi

Peter

I am appalled. Really trully appalled. Horrified.

Grace........... sounds just like me!!!! (But I wouldnt ever admit it to another soul, so shhh eh?)

Loved this so much. I have only just joined Authonomy, and today filled my bookshelf with my favourite reads. I am hoping to put yours on next, after I have kept the current lot there for atleast a day or two. Am still sniggering at the descriptions of Grace and Wilbut (ah I too have a long suffering brother, but that's another story).

Praise for your work? Plenty. Well written, good concept, funny one of a kind descriptions, and memorable lines. There that's quite enough. Don't want to spoil you now do I?

If, you have lots of time spare - will you read my work - Malford - and let me know what you think?

Hope to hear from you
Samragi

*giggles*
Read the first 5 chapters and thoroughly enjoyed the ride! Completely bonkers in parts and I had to re-read because I was convinced I'd missed something or had lost the plot ... Just so good.

I haven't got any criticisms - I've shelved this to come back and read more when I've got a chance. Top reading!

Great Bradley Wind cover, intriguing pitches are a great start, but there's so much here to pique the reader's interest. I've not picked out any particular episodes as they're far too numerous, although the image of Fanny Craddock failing to 'cut the masturbatory mustard' interspersed with a World Cup, in chapter 18, is both surreal and magnificent. Yes, I'm still reading on, enjoying this hugely. You have the breadth of imagination to keep the different threads going without any dilution in quality and an enviable gift for characterisation, each new arrival entering the story fully formed and eager to engage with the reader.
A slight caveat, the short pitch and specifically the splendidly alliterative 'farcial furrows.' 'Farcial' is new to me, yet I'd hesitate to assume you mean 'farcical' in case I'm merely displaying my own wretched ignorance. I'm treasuring some of your more exotic phrases and may be tempted to pass them off as my own if I ever have to appear intelligent in refined company! Kudos for excellent writing and a throughly entertaining story. On my shelf, and am reading on.
Jake