Book Jacket

 

rank 31
word count 61252
date submitted 08.01.2011
date updated 24.05.2012
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Wilberforce & Grace

Peter Turner

Misdeeds and mishaps aplenty as polar opposite siblings plough farcical furrows.

 

To compare Wilberforce to Grace is to liken gooseberry preserve to sulphuric acid.

Wilberforce Windcheater seems a hopeless case. A keen subscriber to obsessive-compulsive disorder, his idea of a good time includes verifying the accuracy of the TV Test Card and studying the joys of railway level-crossings.

Grace possesses caustic wit, intelligence, and an ability to render any man a helpless pool of regretful gunge. A liaison with her is marginally more advisable than aggravating a blue-ringed octopus.

The world of the Windcheaters turns upside down when the family move next door to the swarthy Leonard Loveland. He and his wife are destined to remain childless, and surrogate kids in the guise of brother and sister golden retrievers - Keith and Judith, won't suffice.

Peripheral comic characters such as boss-eyed spinster, Valeria Worlechort; the haemorrhoid battling Bradley Bland; and biology professor turned evangelical fundamentalist loony, Barnstaple Spreadage – take the story into episodic silliness.

You are cordially invited to take a ride through five decades of farce with Wilberforce & Grace.

 
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tags

1950's, 1960's 1970's, 1980's, absurd, autism, comedy, comic, deception, dreams, drugs, farce, revenge, schooldays, surreal

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         WILBERFORCE & GRACE

                                        By   

                 Peter Turner          

           

 

1.      FATHER OF THE CHILDREN

2.      MISS WORLECHORT AND MRS TRUMPERTING

3.      GRACE, CLARISSA, AND THE AMOROUS FRENCH BOY

4.      MARTHA MAJOR AND SCIATICA STAN

5.      SONS OF THE FATHERS

6.      MR AND MRS LOVELAND

7.      GRACE’S LOVE PANGS AMID THE PICCALLILI

8.      SECRET LIAISON

9.      A HEADMASTER WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN EXIT

10.  REVELATION

11.  DISCOVERY

12.  MR LOVELAND’S DESIRE FOR AMNESTY

13.  WILBERFORCE FINDS HIS GURU – GRACE GETS HER MAN

14.  UNDER THE WING

15.  A COLLECTIVE ANGST

16.  A FATHER’S ANGST

17.  THE HARBINGER OF DOOM RETURNS

18.  WILBERFORCE REUNITED WITH TOMMY AND GRANNY

19.  ANOTHER REUNION

20.  FESTIVITIES WITH THE LOVELANDS AND WINDCHEATERS

21.  WALTER WORLECHORT FINALLY PROVES HIS MORTALITY

22.  WILBERFORCE’S NEW CAREER IN LIDDING

23.  RENDESVOUZ WITH THE GOAT OF MENDES

24.  GRACE WINDCHEATER AND EDWARD TRENCH

25.  NOCTURNAL JAPES STARRING TEST CARD DOLL AND TV GURU

26.  RETURN OF GRACE

27.  GRACE MAKES HER MIND UP

28.  A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

29.  TROUBLE AT MILL

30.  OUT OF THE BLUE

31.  JEANETTE SPREADAGE

32.  CHERRY REMOVAL SERVICE

33.  SUNDAY SERMON

34.  NUTTY SPREADAGE

35.  WILBERFORCE IMPRESSES

36.  DAVID DUCT

37.  DOVETAIL’S PLAN GOES PEAR SHAPED

38.  A GRACE WINDCHEATER INSPIRED ACT OF MANSLAUGHTER

39.  THE WASHROOM OBSESSION

40.  WORDS OF WISDOM

41.  WILBERFORCE MAKES HIS MIND UP

42.  WILBERFORCE AND GRACE AT THE CROSSROADS

43.  THE SPIRIT OF TOMMY TRITE

44.  THE WINDCHEATER CHRONICLES

45.  A FATEFUL APPOINTMENT

46.  FINAL REUNION         

                                                                             

                                                                            

                                                 

                                                                       -1-                                                  

 

                                                FATHER OF THE CHILDREN   

 

       The respirator should be placed in box with heavy end (container) standing on bottom of box.

       The transparent eyepiece should lie evenly on top of container and full length without any deforma...WATSON, GET UP HERE NOW, YOU PALTRY LITTLE SNIVELLING CRETIN!!” 

       The accused immediately became stone-faced and red-cheeked from a concoction of embarrassment and terror. He trembled his way to the front of the class.

       “Tell me Watson, do you find Hitler funny?”

       “No Sir.”   

       “Does mustard gas make you laugh?”   

       “No Sir.”   

       “Would you find a good thrashing amusing?”

       Before Watson could complete his hat-trick of identical replies, the teacher ordered him to bend over the desk before producing a size-twelve slipper from his desk drawer.

       Mr Meyland was as terrifying a prospect as conceivable for a late-1930’s adolescent. Late middle-aged and well built, he wore circular horn-rimmed spectacles, sported steely grey thinning hair, and a bulbous purple blob of a nose. He stood over six feet tall, and the children would get a clear and alarming view of the angry tufts of grey hair bursting from his nostrils as he towered over them.

       As a prelude to Watson’s thrashing, Mr Meyland bent the slipper three times with angry arousal. Three monstrous blows to the backside soon followed.

       Watson made his way back to his seat and placed his right buttock delicately on it, while the other was uncomfortably and throbbingly airborne. To add interest to the boy’s shame, his baggy black cotton trousers became infinitely blacker around the groin after failing to control his bladder. His humiliation was complete as he began to wail spectacularly.  

       “If I catch ANY of you not paying attention, you’ll get what Watson just had. IS THAT CLEAR?”

       The class produced a respectful and terrified yessir with a synchronicity of military precision.

       William Windcheater felt no sympathy whatsoever for his blubbering desk mate. He was totally in agreement with the punishment meted out to Watson, and was annoyed at him for disrupting the critical lecture with his catapult.    

       “This is why you have to listen!”

       The seething teacher pointed to the poster affixed to the pimpled opaque window next to the classroom door. All heads turned as one to the right.

       HITLER WILL SEND NO WARNING – so always carry your gas mask.

       “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…”

       Mr Meyland continued to go through the step by step guide in a far more calm, but no less authoritative manner. He comprehensively convinced his pupils of the utter protection provided by the masks, then went into detail about what Britain was fighting for, and whom she was fighting against.

      “If we do not stand up to this festering carbuncle of evil, then everything we hold precious will be gone forever. The greatest empire ever to be built on God’s own earth is being challenged by this fanatical purveyor of hatred and ignorance!”

       Mr Meyland searched inside his desk and produced a newspaper photograph of the German chancellor.

       “JUST LOOK AT THIS RAGING IDIOT!”

       The whole class jumped as his hollering anger returned to its original level.

       He systematically tore the picture into several pieces and allowed them to fall to the floor. The manic teacher then got onto hands and knees to show his contempt.

       “This – is – what – our – peo- ple – think – of – you – Mister – Hit – ler!”

       Each syllable was accompanied with a clenched fist banging against the shredded mugshot of the Fuhrer.  

       Mr Meyland’s theatrical sermon was interrupted by the appearance of the sour and staid Headmistress - and the pupils united by standing immediately to offer a submissive and tuneful good morning, Mrs Mountage.

       The Headmistress acknowledged the children with an understated nod. She whispered into Mr Meyland’s ear, who returned a steadfast frown before scooping up the remnants of his unique contribution to Nazi-bashing. 

       As Mrs Mountage bid farewell and closed the classroom door, the gas mask warning poster fell to the floor, producing a few nervous titters.

       “This is exactly the type of behaviour we will NOT be requiring!”

       The teacher was huffing and puffing in response to the temerity shown by his pupils as he re-affixed the poster to the glass. He returned to stand behind his desk, stretched out both arms, and leant his palms on its surface.

       “You are all going to have to grow up rather quickly over the coming months. Every one of you will experience a huge change to your lives, and laughing at silly little things will not help you come to terms with these changes!

       “It is up to us all to stand erect, be custodians of valour, and make sure we all do our bit for our country. 

       After his violent tanning of Watson’s backside, the teacher was standing erect in every way.

       “We will only be successful if we learn to work for one another, be resolute and never lose heart. I do believe the enemy has underestimated the spirit of this great country, and this is what will spur us on to victory!

       “For this great empire of ours taught simple people from all over the world how to play cricket, how to graciously observe fair play, and how to use knives and forks!”

       Mr Meyland was becoming more passionate in his pep talk about the wonder of the home country’s resolve, and began to gesticulate accordingly. Certain words were marked out for accompanying limb spasms.    

       William put up his hand.

       “Yes, Windcheater.”

       “Sir, do you think we have enough planes and pilots to stop the Germans?”

       “Yes Windcheater, I most certainly do!

       The teacher’s straightfaced reply oozed authority and confidence, though in truth he had sore misgivings about the new breed’s willingness to fight for what was left of Britain’s greatness, and it was his job to thrash a patriotic sense of duty into them.  

       “THIS WAR WILL NOT BE WON ON A DIET OF MOLLYCODDLING AND NAMBY-PAMBINESS!!”    

       William couldn’t wait for the commencement of hostilities. He fully swallowed Mr Meyland’s stirring propaganda, and entertained grand visions of winning all conceivable medals for exceptional bravery. This was going to be it, and William Hague Windcheater’s pulse raced as he prepared for his finest hour.

 

 

                                                                     ***

                                                           

 

       As it turned out, William had the naivety knocked out of him as soon as the first sirens brought the phoniness to a halt. Rather than unleashing rare fortitude and cascading spunk, his biggest desire was to hide.  

       On coming of age, he was secretly delighted that chronic short-sightedness meant he was a complete waste of space regarding employment with any of the forces. In place of his preconceived ideals of triumphant dogfights in his Hurricane, hearty feeds in the mess, and joyful pillow fights in the dorms, William helped out the local funeral director with embalming duties. 

       The trouble with William was he set his sights too high. Instead of the inevitable desk job that would await him in adulthood, he harboured dreams of being the hero of the hour – but reckoned without his lack of flair and courage. The former was never evident, and his ability to display an unwavering stiff upper lip vanished as soon as hostilities began

       The first and only time in his life where William Windcheater exhibited enthusiasm and sex appeal was on May eighth 1945. The whole country was drugged on joy and relief – so if ever William had no excuse for not being interesting, V.E. day would be it. His eyes met Catherine Crump’s on the pedestrian packed Waterloo Bridge, and his twenty-four-hour charm offensive was enough to sweep the young lady off her giddy feet.

       Until this day, William was terrified of the opposite sex – he hadn’t a clue how to talk to a woman, let alone know about the complexities and fittings of physical affection. Within minutes of meeting his future wife, he turned her body to jelly with his lyrical sweet nothings, and showed he knew where everything went once they got inside the broken but gloriously private warehouse on the south bank.

       For the pair of them, copulation was as wonderful as could possibly have been imagined. There were no uncomfortable pauses, no unfortunate and impromptu body noises, and even no discomfort, despite the less than salubrious surroundings. Two cherries as one gloriously vaporised.

       William and Catherine were drunk on the ecstasy of the day’s significance, and thought the future had no place whatsoever in respect to their desires and actions. In reality, the heady day they experienced together turned out to be the casting off of their status as carefree young adults. William scored a direct hit with his seed, and the rest of their lives became irreversibly intertwined.

       William found himself a clerk’s job at the bank, and Catherine moved in alongside Granny and Grandpa Windcheater in their modest terraced house in Wapping. Despite the fact Granny and Grandpa were her parents-in-law, Catherine got into the habit of giving them their new title as they were to become imminent grandparents anyway.

       February 1946 saw the arrival of Grace. The first child of the couple was troublesome from the start. Her mother was in labour for twenty-eight hours, and when Grace eventually decided to vacate the womb, she weighed in at a hefty ten pounds. She was a delicate child both in mind and body, with constant tantrum throwing and succumbing to any disease or virus that happened to be doing the rounds.

       She’d save her worst behaviour for when being on display to the neighbours and shopkeepers. Poor Mr Clef from the greengrocer store had a few stones of King Edward’s toppled from his display and kicked along the floor, one of which caused dear old Mrs Trumperting from the laundrette to twist her ankle, fall awkwardly to the ground and exhibit her barrage-balloon calves.       

       Granny and Grandpa were chuffed at being spared the wrath of the Messerschmidts and Heinkels amid the mouth-watering target of the east London dockyards, and their only aspirations thereon were to stay alive.

       In fact, the nearest any of the family got to physical harm during the war was the night Grandpa braved the sirens to visit the outside toilet. As he was offloading, a large incendiary detonated in the next street, and the shock wave caused the water to splash up onto his behind. He hastily re-wiped, strapped his braces over his shoulders, and raced back into the house – displaying a sprightliness unseen since he came fourth in the school egg and spoon race at the turn of the century.

       The lives of all concerned became easier as Grace’s behaviour improved by the time she got to primary school. She could still be a bit of a madam, but petulance was now seemingly a thing of the past.

       Things were looking rosy for the Windcheaters; William worked his way up to become assistant manager of the bank, Catherine did a few hours cleaning, and Grace was showing herself to be an adept and hard working pupil.  

       The couple took out their first mortgage and moved en masse to a terraced house that included the mod con of a lavatory within its walls. 

       Both William and Catherine were only children, and decided unanimously they’d waited long enough for their second child. Twelve-year-old Grace was delighted when a baby brother clocked in on the thirteenth anniversary of Victory in Europe.

 

  

 

                                                          

                                              

 

 

 

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Sharda D wrote 12 days ago

Hi Pete,
just a follow up to my previous comment 2 weeks ago. How time flies in Elstree! Took another look as I saw on your profile that you'd done some big edits. This is 100% better (and it was pretty good before). You've lost all the disjointedness now that you've put it in chronological order, it also seems to have freed you and made the whole thing, 'voice' and all more cohesive and convincingly your own. Yay! It flows beautifully and it's a much funnier start.
Well done.
Sharda.
P.S. Now all I have to do is work out who to push off my shelf!! [she says, sharpening her elbows]

MIRO1K wrote 43 days ago

A Comlit Review:

Wow! Can I admit to a writing man-crush? This is brilliant, brilliant writing. I think bunderful articulated it best in your comments- it's dense -not dumb dense -but brilliant dense in that you really should read this with a double shot expresso in your hand not a glass of wine because even if you skip a line, you'll miss some literary treasure. There is some lovely historical detail and also fantastic shape and rhythm in the writing and the one-liners come in a very natural way. I love the structure - it's like The Hours but a far better read - and there's such efficient and effortless characterisation. I'm reading on -hooked!

I laughed out loud several times - Mrs Worlechort was hilarious -Britain sinking under the weight of immigration....etc, etc
It was laughter and awe reading this - it MUST be published and is going on my shelf.

6 easy stars

Kaal Kaczmarek


bunderful wrote 193 days ago

I don't know what to say. Your voice is so much your own, that I find the idea of tampering with it or even making any suggestions to change anything at all a futile enterprise. You write with humor and intelligence. You writing is so dense that I cannot skim for fear that I will miss a turn of phrase or nuance of the text. I had to treat each paragraph as its own unique literary unit as I read this. This is some of the best sort of writing. Writing that makes you both think and laugh at the same time. I've been meaning to read this for a while. I'm really glad I finally got around to it. This is a heady mix of P.G. Wodehouse and something uniquely your own.

Thanks for a wild ride.

- Bunderful (author of Master of the Miracles)

Parogar wrote 90 days ago

Whoster, this is a work of genius, I backed this based on the first two chapters alone. I mean, seriously, Of everything I have read today, this is by far the best. I've read. It's grammatically perfect, hilarious to the point where I wonder how you came up with the stuff, and most of all, it combines the perfect combination of wit and observational humor. I have zero criticisms for this, except for the fact that you're letting people read it for free. Even glancing at the first page, should be enough for any agent to know that it needs to be published. This really is a work of genius. You had me at the guy's name, I shit you not. Even from the first paragraph "A carnal achieved only via cash payment."

This looks like the kind of thing Hank Moody would write, if he was a real person. I don't have any criticisms for this, and I really tried to come up with some. This is a work of insanity, but in a good way. You posted in this thread that it's a "silly comedy." No, "silly" is when daffy duck hits himself over the head with a hammer because he wants to see stars. No, this work is the result of someone trying to divide by zero.

I love it!

Rob1969 wrote 145 days ago

Whoster,

Here is my review of the first two chapters of Wilberforce and Grace. I have stopped at two chapters for no other reason than the fact that I am limited by time.

Before I start, none of what I will put is in any way written in order to get feedback or a reciprocal read from you. I don’t comment to get comments and I always put what I really think – it’s important for me that you know that.
Lastly, I would say that I think the last time I read a comedy book was about twenty years ago, I say this as it will be interesting for me to see if my love for screen comedy, theatre farce, stand-up etc transfers to the page – it’s just occurred to me that maybe I am missing out on a whole genre here.

Short Pitch – flawless, it carries style, meaning and delivers intent.

Long Pitch – love the comparison, and the names, Wilberforce Windcheater is especially excellent. There was a character in a computer game once called Guybrush Threepwood, and your naming convention reminds me of him, which is a compliment BTW. The long pitch does its job well, introduces other characters and plays on the differences between Wilberforce and Grace.

Chapter One

Opening paragraph made me laugh. Actually laugh. I’ll tell you why. All great comedy is observational, slightly bitter-sweet and transfers readily to everyday life. That’s what you do. He’s thirty, lives with his mum, and had to pay for his one and only shag. Love it.

The two hardest genres in the world to write are comedy and horror, the reason being is that beyond creating a decent, readable, well written book, you have to engender a feeling in your audience, laughter in your case, fear in the case of the horror writer and it ain’t easy. You my friend pull it off exceptionally well.

The chapter continues apace and is littered with gems – Grace buffeted her way through life and relationships with the tranquillity of a Tasmanian Devil on amphetamines – ROFL. Awesome stuff. You read like a modern P G Wodehouse, very English which again is good because I think that the good old folk of the UK are the only people on God’s green earth who truly get farce.

Chapter Two

Let me just say that as well as being funny, this is exceptionally well written. Your dialogue is tight and delivers both plot and humour – the start of this chapter reminds me of Richard Curtis, your descriptive work is solid and you have a style and coherent voice that never breaks, that voice is the source of your wit and humour and so there is never a sense of you trying too hard, or reaching for the laughs – they come naturally which is what makes it all so funny.

I swear to you that you have me hooked. I am going to keep coming back to finish this book off because it is genuinely funny, its well observed and you are a keen wordsmith – a winning combination for me.

Would you perchance be a fan of Dylan Thomas? Your language reminds me of his – seriously, you are a master wordsmith and that is so endearing. In the days when people tout minimalist magnolia fiction as the way forward, you and others of your ilk spread the gospel of language as a key component to the work itself. Language as a character, as an integral aspect of the tale.

Easy six stars for me.

I will read it all and when I move things around in the New Year, it will get some time on my shelf.

My hat off to you sir, you are genuinely funny. Like Wodehouse, crossed with Richard Curtis and recounted back with the voice of Dylan Thomas.

Brilliant.

Tod Schneider wrote 4 hours ago

This is absolutely wonderful! Funny, acerbic, absurd, macabre, and many other things. Highly entertaining and so well written with rich characters fun to be appalled by. Best of luck with this!
-- Tod
http://www.authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Shain Knowles wrote 1 day ago

Com Lit Review- Wilberforce & Grace by Peter Turner

Chapter One
This is very funny. Full of wit and I laughed often. By the end of the chapter a familiar voice began to narrate between my ears.

Chapter Two
John Cleese took over the reading. This resonates with the brilliance of Monty Python yet it is completely authentic. I had to stop to laugh.

Chapter Three
A funny little scene with a Chatterley old lady, your dialogue spot on.

Chapter Four
Again wonderful dialogue and I really liked the couple. I found them both funny and very real.

PS
Nice cover. I enjoyed every word though I’m very American and your story is very British. 5 stars and plan on backing soon.

spc wrote 2 days ago

I have enjoyed reading this. It is nicely written, with lots of humour and a really well developed set of characters. It made me smile (and laugh) and I soon got sucked in to its amiable story line.
I do have one particular comment that you might want to think about. Your writing style is, by its very nature, quite wordy, which works well in this context, but there are a few times when you need to tighten it up, to keep the story flowing. It might be a good idea to go through it and remove some of the words that you don’t absolutely need. Below is an example of the kind of paragraph that I am referring to:
ORIGINAL: Miss Worlechort leant down to pinch Wilberforce’s cheek, and another curious stare was returned (this doesn’t make sense). Finally, the old lady turned and made her way inside the butcher’s shop. Catherine decided to stay for a few seconds, staring with disbelief as the indefatigable gas bag waddled up to the counter to squawk away at the young assistant; the new mother rejuvenated by the sudden absence of the old lady and her accompanying bouquet of stale urine…
TIGHTENED VERSION: Miss Worlechort leant down to pinch Wilberforce’s cheek, before finally making her way inside the butcher’s shop. Catherine stayed for a few seconds, staring with disbelief as the indefatigable gasbag waddled up to the counter to squawk away at the young assistant; the new mother rejuvenated by the absence of the old lady and her bouquet of stale urine… (In reality the last sentence could do with being broken up with some more punctuation)…
I don’t believe that every paragraph needs nearly this much editing down and it may be my own personal preference, so feel free to ignore all this.
Either way, deservedly shelved and starred.

Marc Jones wrote 4 days ago

Saw you in the Fab 4 thread and thought I'd take a look at your first few chapters.

I really enjoyed this. The writing is faultless and it draws you in right from the opening. The headmaster's rants about Hitler really pulls you into the time and setting. The characters progression from youth to adulthood was very well written in such a short space, and you get the feeling you know the character well. The second chapter was very funny in parts. The style is fantastic, and the dialogue was great - probably your greatest strength from what I have read. I particularly loved how the older lady had Cliff Richard labelled as some sort of deviant. That made me laugh out loud.

Six stars and backed. I really enjoyed this.

Marc

EllieMcG wrote 5 days ago

Ok,so truth.i came across your profile because you told "kristylo" to "bugger off" - which immediately earned an extra star. Then I started reading W&G, and that put you up 5 more. I'm up to chapter 5, and will keep reading. This is brilliant, hilarious writing. From bigoted, flatulent old ladies to magnificently devilish young girls, I can tell I'm going to enjoy it.
For me, the funniest parts might have been the sheer ridiculousness of the names. Right now, Snatchington-Carp might be my favorite, but to be honest, I laughed even at Jean-Claude. It's just tellement French. The one suggestion I would give there (and you might, rightfully, think this is a terrible idea) would be to put a few grammatical errors in Jean-Claude's letter (such as tenses, misspelled/wrongly used words). It could add an extra comedic layer. Up to you.
I really enjoyed the description of Wilbur's hair - I could see the miserable sod bleeding bubbles on a rainy day. And the line "hat-trick of identical replies."... Although that might be because it's Playoff season.
six stars, and on my WL.
Ellie
[Paragon]

Eileen Kardos wrote 8 days ago


The style is well-represented in the short pitch, which a surprising number of writers do not acheieve. Here I really get the flavour of the light-hearted humour. I am not all that far from PG Wodehouse territory, and that’s good to get across in such a short space.

It’s s a matter of taste, but puns really put me off, so this did not work for me, in your pitch, i.e. “farcical furrows”
But, I am delighted to be presented with five decades. That is splendid. Don’t cheat on the massive scale, that’s the spirit.

Oh, a good old-fashioned public school thrashing over the bottom, by a madman - how’s that for setting the scene? Do we know where we? I think we do. Oo, even a perverted little aside, tasty.

Then our two little babes arrive, and I am really looking forward to what will be long and insanely funny, yet somehow quite dark lives. Wonderfyl style,. Funny and smart and caustic.

Best wishes with this. I think it really deserves to be out there.
From
Eileen Kardos
The Noodle Trail

Sharda D wrote 12 days ago

Hi Pete,
just a follow up to my previous comment 2 weeks ago. How time flies in Elstree! Took another look as I saw on your profile that you'd done some big edits. This is 100% better (and it was pretty good before). You've lost all the disjointedness now that you've put it in chronological order, it also seems to have freed you and made the whole thing, 'voice' and all more cohesive and convincingly your own. Yay! It flows beautifully and it's a much funnier start.
Well done.
Sharda.
P.S. Now all I have to do is work out who to push off my shelf!! [she says, sharpening her elbows]

marfleet wrote 12 days ago

ComLit forum (review)

A very polished bit of writing. It sometimes feels as though it rambles a bit from time to time but that can be put down to on-screen reading and, in any case, the inherent humour takes the reader over these patches easily. The characters are great and built cleverly such that their idiosyncrasies are quite ‘normal’ within the context. I have enjoyed as far as I have read and can find no real fault (aside from the two comments below) .
A great effort.

Chap 2
- …it won’t be long drawn out. || …it won’t be long [and] drawn out.
Chap 3
- Small point – how did Grace get the letter if it had been posted?



Andrew
A Fatal Misuse of time
Short pitch: Ever tried waking up yesterday instead of tomorrow? That is just the beginning of Tristan's troubles as his life is hijacked to reveal the future.
(Not a time travel novel really, more a mystery/philosophy comedy :-)

Wussyboy wrote 15 days ago

I've just had a read of your new chapters, Peter, up to chap 10 and there is now a fluidity and consistency to them that compels one to read on. Very nicely done!

Joe

philip john wrote 19 days ago

A terrific sense of humour at work here. Well written and delightfully strung together as a story , which is not always easy with comic writing.

Philip John

Maevesleibhin wrote 21 days ago

ComLit Review
WIberforce & Grace
Peter
I have read the first fourteen chapters, to Autho 15.
This is a very polished, well written reminiscence of London in the 50s-60s. It has very good character development, strong, compelling writing and very enjoyable humour. I think it is ready for the desk and for publication.
I have some issues with this, however. They are not issues that anything should be done about, as the whole story depends on them. However, I thought I would make them known.
The beginning managed to turn me off a bit. Wilberforce is thirty years old, seems to be borderline autistic, lives with his mother, works a pathetic, dead-end job, and had to pay for the pleasure of sexual intercourse. So this character is really very sad. Very well written, but very sad. I understand that this is meant to be precisely what is supposed to make him funny, but for me a character that is so pathetic through no fault of his own is really not very funny. I have a reaction to want to step in for him. I realise that eventually, the story will probably redeem him, but I found myself getting angry for the underdog.
Grace is described as quite the opposite, and her relentless abuse of Wilberforce made me dislike her. She is self-involved and pouty.
Based on this introduction, I had a hard time getting into the book. I wondered the point of reading about a pathetic character whom we are supposed to laugh at and a self centered one that we are supposed to admire.
But I plowed on and wound up liking what I read.
I think part of it was the audacity of going back in time to their conception. This was a bit surprising, and a definitely amusing. The book goes back to Britain in the 40s and paints a wonderful picture. Mind, I did find the long conversations about somebody's brother's health a bit long at times, but the setting and ambiance were great.
The school house scenes were amusing and revelatory, and really fantastic... historical fiction.
However much of this really did not hold direction or purpose for me. I found myself looking for plot hook.
It was not until I got to the point that Grace sleeps with Loveland that I felt hooked and saw some direction. I found these scenes hilarious, particularly the scene in the park.
So, I think this is a well written book that rubs me the wrong way at first and then makes up for it. I will probably read more once things calm down, and even finish it, at which point I will post a more comprehensive message.
The small vignettes are fabulous, like the bank manager kicking the bucket, and Grace embarrassing her friend. It is a book full of great, fun writing. I will give it top stars, but will await further judgement until I read further.
I would give the section I read three happy faces on average, although the scene in the park deserves five. So I guess that averages four. Here they are.
:d:d:d:d
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

Sharda D wrote 26 days ago

Hi Pete,
this is fantastically well written. Well done.
So to start at the beginning - I love the cover, title is intriguing, pitches are fine. I often say in crits that there weren't enough smells, but you've got loads, and some great ones!
Chp1: You write very well indeed with some glorious turns of phrase. But as you probably realise the POV of a nerdy OCD guy is a little claustrophobic at times, so I felt it didn't really take off until you introduced Grace. Then things really started to fly.
Chp 2: This was very funny indeed. Loved it. Though it did feel a little like a scene from Fawlty Towers. There's nothing wrong in that (everything right indeed) but it felt ever so slightly derviative.
Chp 3: pure Les Dawson, but on top of Chp2 I felt a little like I was being taken on a tour of great British comedians of the 20th century. It seemed to be one comic sketch after another. I’m sure this won’t carry on once the story takes off, but for now it feels little disjointed.
That’s super harsh. But many of your reviews so far are similar, so I thought it might be useful to throw in something different to the mix. And, it was how I felt.
I also kept wondering why you're here. Get thee to an agent! Send it out to every agent in The Writers and Artists Yearbook and if you have no luck THEN come here! This feels such a tortuous way of getting published and you clearly have enough talent not to need this process. Might be out of line to say that, but again, it’s how I felt.
Feel free to ignore all/parts of this review. I’m just an onlooker, you know best.
6 stars from me and a spin on my shelf when I get a space.
Sharda.
[Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams]

patio wrote 27 days ago

wow, your work is smooth and addictive

6 stars

Ellen Michelle wrote 28 days ago

Hey there!!
Nice one, Brilliant writing, I wish i was as good as you, Great punctuation and you also go into a lot of detail but as i have only read the first chapter i can't really say too much but ill read some more really :)
Ellen Michelle

Karamak wrote 31 days ago

Just brilliant, excellent, made me chuckle my way through my breakfast. Karen, Faking it in France.

Dolomite wrote 31 days ago

Oh to be young again. It is so refreshing to read this book, as it reminds me of myself at Wilberforce's age. On chapter thirty four and enjoying every word.
Best,
Lucas

deputydog wrote 32 days ago

Gotta say, this is some funny shit you've got here. Done wrong, this type of book can seem self congratulatroy and masturbatory - in terms of the florid comic prose - but you confortably and confidently steer clear of those particular choppy waters.

Cecily Macintyre wrote 32 days ago

If Wodehouse were writing now he would steal your opening sentence. Proper comment to follow.

patio wrote 32 days ago

This is intellectually brilliant. Its pack with a tsunami of humour and elegance.

Mindy Haig wrote 32 days ago

Hi Pete,
I dropped in to take a look at your book and now I am disappointed that I only had time for the first nine chapters! Very funny! I like your chapter names and humorous character names! It is no wonder William was able to lucky on VE day - Catherine seems to be instantly enamored with everyone she meets!
I loved when Wilburforce broke Morry's nose!
High stars and best of luck with this!
I look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

ceejezoid wrote 32 days ago

Bahahahahaha is mostly what I want to say about this.

A totally unique voice and exceedingly funny. The closest (and highest) comparison I can give it is that of a Wes Anderson movie - each character is brilliantly unique and fully realised with all their paricular tics and traits. I particularly like Granny! Wonderfully weird and getting super high stars from me!

Grace_Gallagher wrote 35 days ago

You, sir, are genuinely funny. It's funny on this site, almost every review seems to be 'this is amazing, the best book ever ever ever!!' which makes it a bit tricky to leave sincere praise. This is sincere. You are very good.I've only read a little, but I'll be back to see how it pans out.

Adeel wrote 36 days ago

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are amusing and entertaining with nice charachters and narrative is at great pace. Definitely a hooking read. Highly rated.

samragi wrote 37 days ago

Pete

Browsing through the many newly released books on authonomy am yet to find one that quite matches up to Wilberforce & Grace. Funny in a way that makes you remember the charachters long after you finish the chapters. This is a superbly written book - and one that I would be thrilled to own on a real bookcase.

Reread parts of the book again this evening, and was chuckling at chapter 10 - ah Grace! Graceless Grace!! The supervisor really had no chance against her - I love the full force of her personality slowly reducing him to a minion... Loved the capture of their interactions - great comic visuals!

Here's wishing you all the very best for a book deal. They are hard to come by, but hopefully an agent will see what I and many other readers have already spotted - a very good read!

Best Regards
Samragi

JMTE23 wrote 37 days ago

Backed!

MIRO1K wrote 43 days ago

A Comlit Review:

Wow! Can I admit to a writing man-crush? This is brilliant, brilliant writing. I think bunderful articulated it best in your comments- it's dense -not dumb dense -but brilliant dense in that you really should read this with a double shot expresso in your hand not a glass of wine because even if you skip a line, you'll miss some literary treasure. There is some lovely historical detail and also fantastic shape and rhythm in the writing and the one-liners come in a very natural way. I love the structure - it's like The Hours but a far better read - and there's such efficient and effortless characterisation. I'm reading on -hooked!

I laughed out loud several times - Mrs Worlechort was hilarious -Britain sinking under the weight of immigration....etc, etc
It was laughter and awe reading this - it MUST be published and is going on my shelf.

6 easy stars

Kaal Kaczmarek


DaisyFitz wrote 44 days ago

Love it. So entertaining. It’s lines like ‘displaying a sprightliness unseen since he came fourth in the school egg and spoon race of 1901’ that do it for me. And Martha. Hilarious.

Cx

http://www.authonomy.com/books/31179/forfeit/

GILLIAN.M.H wrote 45 days ago

One just can't help smiling at the names of the characters. Just reading you pitch, it is hard to imagine this book cannot be funny! Hmm I'll have to investigate.

Father of the children - The classroom scene with the angry, but rather ridiculous teacher, reminds of the comics I used to read in the 60s, where Dennis the Menace or another anti-hero would end up bending over and getting the cane or slipper. The extra details you put in give a more adult touch. It is funny when the teacher gets shown up by the headmistress. You also call her the head teacher, but this is a modern phrase from the 1990s onwards. In many schools of the thirties, ordinary teachers were 'masters' or 'mistresses' , and the school principal always the headmaster or headmistress.
I have got up to chapter four. I find that the main characters are well established and 3-dimensional, I love it when Baby Wilberforce cries at the right time, to rescue his mother from Miss Worlechort. As she says,' Cliff Richard should go to church.' ;-)

Ellie S Lee wrote 46 days ago

This is very entertaining and a rollicking good read, reminds me of pre-adolescent summers spent furtively scanning McGill postcards; it made me laugh and giggle, a bit like I do when I see Sausage in Cider on a menu. It’s very funny, yes, but there is so much more there too and it would be an injustice to define Wilberforce and Grace by humour alone. Well done and good luck.

Ellie

billy.mcbride wrote 54 days ago

Dear Peter: What I read was important. I find in your work a sense of design, and though I disagree with everything you say, I still am interested in your own dreams and acts of interpretation. I find wisdom in your book and wish you luck and success.

Billy McBride ("Spaceflight") Please comment on mine if you like!

Kim Padgett-Clarke wrote 57 days ago

Wow, what a quirky read this is. It's hard to put your novel into any kind of category because it should have one all to itself! Each chapter takes us into the surreal world of the Windcheaters. If the sharp narrative doesn't put a smile on your face, and I challenge anyone not to grin, then the names of the characters will. The chemistry between Wilberforce and Grace is outstandingly funny. Poor Wilberforce has enough problems and hang-ups to keep a Psychologist in work for the rest of his life. I like the way you cover the serious subject of OCD in such a humorous and compassionate manner. Like they say, if you don't laugh you cry. Your writing is skilful and accomplished. I agree with a number of other comments in that this book should find a publisher sooner rather than later. Good luck on your way to the top.

Kim (Pain)

Amy Pope wrote 60 days ago

I know you say you're not a great reader (although I don't believe you - you obviously love language as much as music), but this reminded me of two of my favourites - John Cheever's Wapshot Chronicle/Scandal and Carey's Oscar and Lucinda - in tone, the humour, an eccentricity that is subtle and nuanced but also warm. Also something of The Royal Tennenbaums about it too. Highly rated and on my shelf to dip into with pleasure. Delicious.

Gareth N wrote 63 days ago

Pete,

This is fancy, funny writing and no mistake. I can see how you got where you are today! I only read the prologue because I have to catch a bus. Even reading this bit it's obvious you’ve got talent.

OK, that’s the nice bit over with.....thank goodness for that; it's not in my nature to be overly complimentary.

I love all the creative comic descriptions but I’d like something else added to the mix. This is a completely random selection but the ‘spoons’ game is a good example. You set the situation up really well but, personally, I want bit more slapstick. There’s nothing funnier than a very short-sighted person’s glasses flying off but how about milking it a bit more? When Grace whacks him the first time perhaps his glasses are only partially displaced and the lenses magnify one eye while the other, uncovered eye, is the size of a rabbit dropping. The second whack sends them flying…surely they’ve got to break so you can exploit the cruelty of replacing broken glasses on his greasy face. I also want to sense W fumbling around trying to find them on the floor. While I’m at it, can I have a bit of dialogue from Grace in this bit……you know, cruel kids stuff with some sort of menacing threat if he blabs?

I suppose I’d better return to my nice/helpful mode.

3rd para – It’s a long old sentence and there’s a bit in the middle that starts off with a dash and ends with a comma. I’d like a dash rather than a comma at the end. How’s that for pick-nitty.

You’ll hate me for saying this. There may be a case for pruning this down a tad. For example, the last two sentences; I bet you could cut it down to one sentence and not lose anything. I read both sentences and nearly missed my bus….’time is money’.

Gareth

Connie King wrote 66 days ago

Hello, Peter! I've just added Wilberforce and Grace to my w/list. I read 5 chapters and believe me, I found your book to be of a very high comedic standard. A pure joy! This book is wasted on authonomy - it should already be published and it's next on my list for shelving. I want to read more and then I'll send you some comments.
Kind regards
Connie - Sinners and Shadows. x

Deborah Aldrich Farhi wrote 66 days ago

Hahaha! Just finished Ch 5. Hilarious! I was surprised by this. I knew I'd like it, but not this much! I had been annoyed last week when I was fully entranced and things interrupted my reading time, and I didn't get back to it for several days. The thing is, it was all still so fresh in my mind like there'd been no gap and to me, that is a sign of superb writing! I so want to shelf this but I don't know what to move off my shelf right now to make room. I don't want to give up supporting the books that are on there. As soon as I can, this will go on! I want to see the HC review.
Oh, just one thing. A personal preference and that is all. I hate prologues so I didn't really read it properly. Is it necessary, really?

SJ Blenman wrote 69 days ago

Wilberforce is certainly an odd one but a very likeable, believable character. I'm surprising myself as it's not my normal genre but that's a good thing!

Highly starred and on my W/L, if I can get over my guilt of removing someone off my shelf, then backed too.

Cheers
Susan

ajt1234 wrote 70 days ago
rikasworld wrote 71 days ago

Com Lit Review.
This is great and superbly written. Really enjoying it and looking forward to reading more. Backed partly because I love the euphemisms. So much is recognisable. Sadly Miss Worlechort lives across the road here - that's slightly unfair but not by much. A hero who is a man with an obsessive fascination for washing machines can't be bad in my opinion.
I've had a chance to read on now and really enjoyed Martha and her hip busting baby. Ouch! Not wonder she swears a lot.

Greenleaf wrote 73 days ago

This is truly amazing. Hilarious, charming, fun to read. I've only read the first three chapters so far and I love the way you first introduce Wilbur and then go back in time to show us his childhood. I'm so curious to find out what made him turn out so strange. I guess I'll have to keep reading. I especially like the portrayal of life in London during the 1960's. Very nice.
Highly starred. I'll be back to finish reading the book. I'll try to back it soon.
Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

FrancesK wrote 84 days ago

This is a strangely affectionate portrait of a London where people still gossip at corner shops and in the streets, and everyone knows the local eccentrics. I like your Dickensian coining of surnames, your quirky protagonists, and your flashes of variety-show humour... it's making me nostalgic... thanks!

Artist, Twin, Ballerina wrote 86 days ago

This is written with such extreme precision and intelligence, yet I find myself constantly chuckling. Witty humor at its best!

Bunderful is correct, that every paragraph is a little story that must be carefully read. But I have no wish to be able to skim this. The bit about Grandpa being the only one harmed in the war, and relating his speed back to the egg race at the turn of the century, left me giggling for quite a while. 6 stars! I will keep this on my WL and rotate it onto my shelf.
-Cassandra Porter

Parogar wrote 90 days ago

Whoster, this is a work of genius, I backed this based on the first two chapters alone. I mean, seriously, Of everything I have read today, this is by far the best. I've read. It's grammatically perfect, hilarious to the point where I wonder how you came up with the stuff, and most of all, it combines the perfect combination of wit and observational humor. I have zero criticisms for this, except for the fact that you're letting people read it for free. Even glancing at the first page, should be enough for any agent to know that it needs to be published. This really is a work of genius. You had me at the guy's name, I shit you not. Even from the first paragraph "A carnal achieved only via cash payment."

This looks like the kind of thing Hank Moody would write, if he was a real person. I don't have any criticisms for this, and I really tried to come up with some. This is a work of insanity, but in a good way. You posted in this thread that it's a "silly comedy." No, "silly" is when daffy duck hits himself over the head with a hammer because he wants to see stars. No, this work is the result of someone trying to divide by zero.

I love it!

Jeffrey Garver wrote 90 days ago

You made me laugh out loud. That means it gets my funny stamp of approval.

sensual elle wrote 93 days ago

Horace Wimp or Norman Stanley James St. Clair, Wilberforce Windcheater refines and redefines nerdism. Sister Grace is anything but, a predator in a land of dozy sheep or, as the author puts it, she exhibits the tranquillity of a Tasmanian devil on amphetamines. They were the byproducts, if not exactly offspring, of the unlovely William and the unlovely Catherine Crump Windcheater.

The author's writing a loaded with wry observations and treats us to a joyride amongst the madness of the protagonists' mad world. Mrs Trumperting and Miss Worlechort… what a trip. I love the characters.

The first several chapters reveal the history of the Windcheaters and about everyone else they come in contact with. But with this superb story, it's about the journey, not the destination. It's droll, clever, and long after I cycle my shelf, it will be in my watch-list.

At last Wilberforce gets his day: I thoroughly, happily back his story!

george kohlman wrote 98 days ago

Good writer.

George

Wanttobeawriter wrote 103 days ago

WIBERFORCE & GRACE
This is a fun story to read. I’m sure others will remind you, you include a lot of “tell” when you should concentrate on “show” but I enjoyed your descriptions of characters immensely. Made me feel I really know these characters. I meant to only read the first chapter but found myself reading on and on. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 107 days ago

Dear Peter

There is no doubt whatever that your writing is sharp, amusing and original.

Reading past the first few painful opening paragraphs - ouch! - I begin to perceive that your characters are all blackly amusing, each in their own way. There is no personal attack here, as I first felt, but rather a look at a slightly off beat and strange world, in which everyone'e eccentricities are laid bare. Your unsentimental prose is accurate, sometimes painful, insightful and worth a second look.

I wish you well with your unique and engaging writing.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

Billy Young wrote 116 days ago

After three chapters I'm wondering when we will get to the comedy. The characters are there for it but the story seems to be going nowhere and the humour missing. Sorry if this seems hard but maybe trimming to bring the main tale to the front would and feed in the background as the tale unfolds would help. Best of luck with this.

readaholic wrote 118 days ago

This is such a joy to read, Peter. The humour flows naturally. The characters come across as living, breathing individuals; charming yet odd.

PS. re Glastonbury. That's amazing. M

Vic Flange wrote 141 days ago

Hi Pete. Only got up to the fourth chapter but it's great fun so far. Looking forward to getting to the meat of the plot. Great humour.

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