The Big World of Mr Bridges' Microcosm

this is a magnificently detailed and thoroughly considered piece. being a person who loves research (good thing – its my job!), this just fit with me. I felt like we were following someone who was trying to go back and piece together the life of someone dear to them - i imagined long nights at the town library, etc. You must’ve put a ton of time into this and it pays off in my mind.

I understand how some readers below had said, 'well where's the action?" - but i don't see this as that kind of piece. we're at another level here, beyond the 'pure entertainment' towards intellectual intrigue of a walk through a different time.

i love how each chapter pulls us along. Great mystery! Very well crafted. Uber support for this!

The Big World Of Mr Bridges Microcosm follows a trail as complex as the mechanism itself. I'd describe it as a clock, but acccording to eyewitness accounts, the Microcosm was five storeys tall and performed many amazing feats ,like mimicking the movement of the planets. Henry Bridges a clockmaker from Waltham Abbey engineered all of the precise features at a time when the balance between heresy and superstition was giving ground to science. Other than one piece in the possession of the British museum, there seems to be no trace left of the Microcosm, and that is the greatest tragedy.

Before Henry Bridges fades into obscurity (another great tragedy) the only way to really honour his memory is to be as articulate and precise with the details as the great man was once himself. Why not mimick him, as his invention mimicked the planets, it would be the right and proper approach. In my opinion you've achieved this and with a bit of showmanship bouncing around as well, 'The World Of Mr bridges Microcosm' is a fascinating read.

Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.
Full metal jacket of stars.

The Big World of Mr Bridges’ Microcosm

I’m always a little awed by historical books because of the huge amount of research that must have gone before the pen even marks the paper. What interests me here is the insight into Henry Bridges, the man, which is evident even in the introduction: the paragraph that illustrates the dual nature of his character – seemingly an introvert with a passion for detail, yet a showman who craves the audience reaction. I’m also curious as to why you were drawn to research a clockmaker’s history with such close attention, such passion, evident in the details.
Your writing is polished, accomplished, and your narration is clear and easy to follow. I have to confess that historical biography is a new experience for me, so I’m not sure I have anything useful to offer you in the way of feedback other than I am fascinated. I like discovering little details, like a ‘waywarden’ is one who maintains the roads. Seems obvious, but would never occur to me. Also the epitaph on Sara’s memorial – an indulgent wife, tender parent and sincere friend – poignant, all the more because it’s true.
In ch3 we learn about the MICROCOSM, and by now I am literally overawed by the complexity of this wondrous machine, and equally by your amazing achievement in researching and writing this book! It’s incredible and I wish you every success. Diana

I read a lot of manuscripts but very few make me tingle (this one did!). I only intended to look at the opening - 11 chapters later!!!!! What a fascinating story (i'm thinking book and film rights). Your attention to detail is extraordinary and the writing is very good too. Go get yourself an agent and a publisher!
I have to squeeze your book onto my shelf somehow. 6 stars.
Kim
St Viper's School for Super Villains

Dear Barb,
Sorry for the delay. I would have been delighted to have had a book like this in one of my history classes. I say this for two reasons. Your ressearch appears to be impeccable and complete. You take something that played a part in people's lives, though often taken for granted, and bring it to life. Yet it's not a text book--though I wish school systems would utilize works like this nonetheless. I don't mean to belabour the point, but take for example, Edward Rutherford's Russka. Or, even more interesting, comedian Anna Russell's explanation of Wagner's Ring Cycle (on Youtube, BTW). History embodied with entertainment can be a much more powerful tool. I would much prefer, as I'm sure you would agree, were the buying public more intersted in informative and charming works like yours rather than all this nonesense with vampires. But there it is. So, I wouldn't expect this to be snatched up, becoming mainstream, best-selling stuff, but it is special, beautifully done and valuable. Publishable. And I do hope an appropriate publisher contacts you in this regard. I will happily star this accordingly and, as soon as I can, shelve it. Uh, I did prefer the prior cover to this current one, for what it's worth.
Best, dear.
Bea

The Big World of Mr. Bridges' Microcosm.
by Barb Drummond.

It made a nice change reading your book, away from the world of fiction, a dip into the historical past.
A journey that you have made possible through many hours of research...no easy task i'm sure.
I haven't read it all as yet, just six chapters but will get back to it.
Your writing is clear, well laid out and above all interesting. Well it was for me as I'm keen on family history.
I can understand the daunting task at times though...drawing a blank when trying to fill in a certain period of importance.
The clock ticking away...a pick-me-up at midnight...we've all been there, the urge to continue writing.
Well, you have succeeded in producing an excellent book of Henry Bridges past and his formidable talent for detail.
Pleased to star rate it and wish you well with it.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

There used to be a clock in a prison I was in that a prisoner spend years looking after. Your book reminded me of him. I like some of hte reviews your have had. Some of Orlando's comments sound bang on. Good luck.

Ch 5
I come here to relax. Reading about H and his creation is such a total contrast to reading yet more YA/chic lit/lit fic, much of which follows similar storylines. Having said that H faced the same problem as everyone here does, what to do with their marvellous creation? At least, in his case (!) he had a product which cld turn a penny. I wonder if showing his clock for pennies instead of selling it for thousands was the equivalent of people here finally resorting to Kindling their precious stories? But, in that his creation was shown for 41 years and can still command interest, I think he achieved a great deal more with his creativity than most here ever will. The same may be said for your story. It wld not surprise me if, when the rest of us have all gone off to Kindle obscurity, it is your closely researched and carefully sourced story which is the last one standing!

Awwww....it reminds me of the stories that I read as a child...the first chapter does, anyway! It's written like that, in an older style that's evaporated from much of today's literature. Don't lose that voice.

Bravo, never knew it existed: THE BIG WORLD OF MR BRIDGES MICROCOSM follows a path of how the clock was made, some of its travels. A detailed description of what It looked like, how it performed/tone and sounded like. Some of the men who showed it in public events, and some of the scams in that era.
A truly, historical adventure of one grand clock.

A pleasure of past history and chapter 16's poetry is fascinating.

Richard A. Wentworth
Aracelis

Ch 4
Describing The Beast
The language of his advertisement fasincates. He deploys graniloquent words with confidence ... 'assiduity...approbation' and generates great enthusiasm '...the magnificence of its structure...' He sells his beloved creation strongly. It must have been quiet something to see such a creation in 1740-50. Other words catch my eye '...justnesss...esteemed...' His language is at its best when he refers to the pastoral scene, the swans, esp these dabs, '...warbling out their melodious notes...bending their necks backwards to feather themselves.' He clearly loved his creation and all to do with it. He must have spent hugh amounts of time creating it and he obviously also was careful and exact in his descriptions. And yes, it being the early-mid 18th century the language was still fluid and so we get the delightful, 'elyptical' and 'shewn'.
I sense how the language was perhaps more decorative at that time, more elegant. As you know, long-case designs became more refined as the century wore on and were then coarsened by industrially made faces. So, too, cases became heavier in the 19th century as, it may be argued, did the way we used language, esp Dickens. I've not really thought this theory out but reading your chapter here made me think there might be something in it. Thinking about the modern design of Canary Wharf say, and how we use language now wld fascinate, compared to say the designs of Wren and the language of the early 18th c. I know which I prefer. Functionality has its place, but, ach, the romance of a classical designs appeals to something higher than mere mass functionality.

Barb,

This is fascinating!!!! To learn history can be boring, and drawn out, but your style has a flow to place me in the narrative. Past history has always fascinated me and for someone to lay it out with a grand style that informs is OUTSTANDING.!

Many Hurass to you and I will finish your book. I grew up in Seattle and we had a hill called Queen Anne and chp 2 let me know some of her history: "Queen Anne passed the world's first copyright act in 1710"

Richard A. Wentworth
Aracelis

Interesting. The non-fiction I usually read is popular science, but this has held my attention so far (I'm only up to Chapter 3, though. I can't read much at the moment). You tell the story in a narrative, story-like way, rather than just repeating facts. General comments, I know, but I'm no critic... Very enjoyable, and I've read much worse published stuff. I'll try to read more soon. Well done; a lot of effort must have gone into this.

this is a very well written and set out piece of literiture. and there is is no doubt you have put a great deal of work into this book...l shall back, when there is a place on my shelf...6 stars******
read SEASONS...

THE BRIDGES OF WALTHAM ABBEY

I have done some family research myself and so am interested in such matters. You have clearly been at pains to get it right. But it is your pondering of what might of been, the Cairibbean connections, the gaps, the headstones. Your own sense of drama comes over very strongly, esp in that last line: 'The silence... the silence...' which reminds me of the final line of HEART OF DARKNESS. I was also taken with the details about woollen burial shrouds. And you reminded me about the role of Canterbury in proving certain wills. The mystery about the double house, fascinated. And I was impressed by you noting the dates on the locks.
Above all though it was the graphs about the blue plaque and the range of Mr.B's talents that sticks with me. He sounds to have been possessed of great enthusiasm. I like him. And I am enjoying reading about him and will read more. It the rest of your story is as engaging as the opening chapters I may read it all. I will back it once I have a place on my shelf which should be soon. Bear with me pls.
Ron

THE WORLD BEFORE THE LITTLE WORLD

Your summary of the times is brilliant. It provides a painstaking background to how and why Mr.B was as he was. And the languge of your summary is vivid and evocative. I esp liked 'the cold wind of Presbyterianism made 17th century England an increadibly bleak place.' Something in me stirred on reading that, some atavistic puritanism and I cld imagine myself whitewashing the show away and smashing the clutter of idols and old bones of the old religion. Your thoughts on social gatherings were new to me, but also make perfect sense. So, too, your observations on child mortality, while not a surprise, were conveyed in a way that made me feel the hardness of the times.
But the thing that caught my eye more than anything was the excitement you captured in the graphs about dangers. I found this absolutly exciting and dramatic, very sappy indeed, very inspiring. I cld hear the 'clatter of hooves on cobblestones.' I was excited by 'fights, swords, guns.' Oh what times! 'Celebrations cld also descend into drunken brawls' sounded most appealing. They can now of course, but then you make it all sound more extreme and vital. 'Din and tumult, continuous revloution,' o to have been part of it! And you back things up very well. The anecdote about the petticoats is most apt. I love Hogarth, and have several of his prints. I know that life was hard and often short, but...it was also vital, dymanic and vigorous for those with the vim to live it. Enter Mr.B an eccentric, but multi-talented creator with the enterprise to put himself 'out there' as they now say and beat the drum of improvement, while at the same time earning the odd penny.
I live in St.Albans and am sure that I will have to visit Waltham Abbey at some point, it not being that far from me. Also the British Museum too. Perhaps this Easter.

INTRODUCING MR.BRIDGES

I was fascinated, engaged and intellectually challenged. I also found gentle wit in it all, especially in your references to 'the beast'. There is a Wallance and Grommit quality about all this, an essentially English drollerly. Being essentially English myself I love it. There is eccentricity against the odds and sense of serious scientific improvement.
I noted 'immense physical strength and endurance' and 'the philosopy that he displayed was far more radical, more wide ranging and extraordinary...' I instinctively approve of and adire these qualities. I am on his side.

Opening graphs.
Am reading at last, apols delay.
I like quite a lot of what I read on this site. But there is a part of me that loves history, esp British history. I am a natural reader for you and from the opening graphs I am going to have no trouble reading your story. A more detailed comment to follow later. Your insights into 18th c life are vivid, bring it to life.
Ron

Barb,
I enjoyed chapter 16 today. I echo the comments of Bea Ware, in that I wish we had a fun resource like this in our history classes, a fun way to make history meaningful. I'll pop back again for more.
Best,
John B Campbell

This chapter reads like a textbook. I know this is to lead into the story, but try to condense it down to a couple of paragraphs. Other than that, I think you're onto something. Keep up the good work.

What terrible typography, an interesting subject but I found the text so hard to read I gave up. ...

Maybe, the typefaces on this site default from the one the author used (as can happen with PDFs). What I am looking at is at a guess Helvetica Condensed. Never intended as a text face. Not helped by the tight letterspacing.

I wouldn't normally read something like this, but since you were the first person to welcome me to the site, I gave it a go. It's not for me, I'm afraid. The title also reads as a fiction book, where as it is non-fiction. You might want to look at that? You obviously have an in-depth knowledge of your subject, but I can't offer any more than that. Not my thing! Sorry!

I enjoyed chapter 15 today. Interesting info: Geo Washington seeing the Microcosm/ Benjamin Franklin's newspaper. No obit for poor Henry. Life in the Georgian Age and need for distraction.
Fascinating. I do enjoy history. I'll pop back again.
Cheers!
John B Campbell

The Big World Of Mr Bridges Microcosm follows a trail as complex as the mechanism itself. I'd describe it as a clock, but acccording to eyewitness accounts, the Microcosm was five storeys tall and performed many amazing feats ,like mimicking the movement of the planets. Henry Bridges a clockmaker from Waltham Abbey engineered all of the precise features at a time when the balance between heresy and superstition was giving ground to science. Other than one piece in the possession of the British museum, there seems to be no trace left of the Microcosm, and that is the greatest tragedy.

Before Henry Bridges fades into obscurity (another great tragedy) the only way to really honour his memory is to be as articulate and precise with the details as the great man was once himself. Why not mimick him, as his invention mimicked the planets, it would be the right and proper approach. In my opinion you've achieved this and with a bit of showmanship bouncing around as well, 'The World Of Mr bridges Microcosm' is a fascinating read.

Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.
Full metal jacket of stars.

Have you offered this to a non-fiction publisher.

To be honest, even as somebody who writes fiction, I find non-fiction much more interesting.

If you do offer this I suggest you change the font to New Times Roman - 12. Double-spaced with one-inch margins, and send the maunuscript and nothing else, contents, aknowledgements and references can be added later.

An interesting read to say the least.

Best of luck with this.

Have you offered this to a non-fiction publisher.

To be honest, even as somebody who writes fiction, I find non-fiction much more interesting.

If you do offer this I suggest you change the font to New Times Roman - 12. Double-spaced with one-inch margins, and send the maunuscript and nothing else, contents, aknowledgements and references can be added later.

An interesting read to say the least.

Best of luck with this.

Have you offered this to a non-fiction publisher.

To be honest, even as somebody who writes fiction, I find non-fiction much more interesting.

If you do offer this I suggest you change the font to New Times Roman - 12. Double-spaced with one-inch margins, and send the maunuscript and nothing else, contents, aknowledgements and references can be added later.

An interesting read to say the least.

Best of luck with this.

I think the book is very interesting for people who interested in clocks, it is not my expert field however I do feel such specialist books should be written. I know because there are not many poets on authonomy, so your book definitely provides something different! The only advice I can give, which was given to me, is set yourself a niche market and it starts with the title. The title leads you to believe it is a work of fiction. This can be slightly misleading in two ways: people who believe it is fiction are misinformed, and also people interested in horology may not realise it is a factual text. It is only a small criticism but maybe if your pitch and title set out what it was you'd have more success


Dan

I just scanned the first couple of chapters here, and I can't say this is for me. It's quite hard to follow, I'm afraid. I was half expecting it to be fiction from the title, which threw me off a little when I started reading! I won't say any more, because I wouldn't like to be over-critical of a book that I wouldn't normally read. Good luck with it.

Hiya Barb

This is your long-overdue review.

What an interesting and unusual book. I have read three chapters and thoroughly enjoyed them. Chapter Two was fascinating in its rich detail of the period - your research is commendable. I also found it very well written and enlivened with the anecdotes about individual characters.

There was a random paragraph break in the early part of Chapter 3 but apart from that your writing style and skill are flawless. This is the first non-fiction book I have read on authonomy and I thoroughly enjoyed it - it reminded me in parts of 'The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher.'

I had a few problems with the family genealogy, unfortunately, finding it a little difficult to follow at times. I felt overwhelmed with Thomases, Jameses and Henrys - and had to keep flicking back to your pitch to check out which one of them was your main character. Whilst appreciating the amount of research which has gone into this, I was wondering if all of it was necessary? I kept wanting to get back to the life of the clockmaker. At the very least, I think you could edit the section about his siblings who did not make it out of infancy - that doesn't really add to the tale. I also had a problem with the line 'oldstyle so really 1697.' I have absolutely no idea what this means.

However, these few little niggles did not detract from my enjoyment and I am happy to star highly and back your book for while.

Best wishes,
Susanna
'Catching the Eagle.'

Hi Barb,

Love your writing style. I'm not into history very much, but when I got past chapter two, I found the book then came to life and I began to enjoy it. I think it could do quite well commercially. I am BACKING and STARRING your work and you have my best wishes. I would appreciate your support for my book (The Contractor)

Frank James

Hi Barb
I've had a look at this as promised...sorry but I found it difficult to read, it's the total opposite of what I read and don't feel I can really comment...sorry :(

Oh, silly me. I just now read your profile page. Kudos on your fulfilling and informative efforts, your self-published works about local history in the Bristol area. I do wish there were more people like you driving the World of Books today. I''m saddened by the ever-growing lack of taste out there. But we brave onward. And, I believe you could make the telephone directory fascinating. Please keep writing, dear.
Bea

Dear Barb,
Sorry for the delay. I would have been delighted to have had a book like this in one of my history classes. I say this for two reasons. Your ressearch appears to be impeccable and complete. You take something that played a part in people's lives, though often taken for granted, and bring it to life. Yet it's not a text book--though I wish school systems would utilize works like this nonetheless. I don't mean to belabour the point, but take for example, Edward Rutherford's Russka. Or, even more interesting, comedian Anna Russell's explanation of Wagner's Ring Cycle (on Youtube, BTW). History embodied with entertainment can be a much more powerful tool. I would much prefer, as I'm sure you would agree, were the buying public more intersted in informative and charming works like yours rather than all this nonesense with vampires. But there it is. So, I wouldn't expect this to be snatched up, becoming mainstream, best-selling stuff, but it is special, beautifully done and valuable. Publishable. And I do hope an appropriate publisher contacts you in this regard. I will happily star this accordingly and, as soon as I can, shelve it. Uh, I did prefer the prior cover to this current one, for what it's worth.
Best, dear.
Bea

History is not my subject! But I have scanned through the first few chapters and it seems that you really know your stuff! I think it's an interesting story to tell, I'm just not into the genre. Still, its good.

Aimee Ann

I'm not sure what to offer in terms of critique for this. I suppose its success lies in people being interested in Henry, as in terms of writing I see no problems. As a historical character his story sounds intriguing enough to attract an audience.

Like I said, I'm not sure what else I can say.

Good luck.

i tried to read the story found it difficult to get past the first chapter, not a history buff ... best of luck with the novvel!

Love the unquie style of the book. You craft your sentences well and write to the point instead of using overlong sentences. I will back this when the 24 hours on the books on the shelf on done because I can't put another book in 24 hours before it loses points. You might want to get this published. just a suggestion. It is fresh and orginal enough to send to an agent, but that is just my opition. Do whatever you think is best. Regarless, I think you have a lot of talent.

Best wishes,
Chipper Newman

Barb - The Big World etc has certainly attracted a good deal of critical attention (below) and I do like the unusual subject - most interesting. Backed and starred by Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Apologies but time is precious so I have not ordered this critique other than by chapter notes and items as I found them.

C1 I’m not sure your struggles with researching and writing the book make part of a suitable introduction to Mr Bridges, and it’s disconcerting to get an introduction that raises such a problem. It’s ‘Introduction to my struggles as a writer’ Not appropriate I think. So maybe drop the ‘for years’ bit. Similarly para 4: the first sentence is not needed. ‘It seemed that with every fact unearthed more questions also appeared.’ This is true of every thorough piece of research I have ever known, and, again it’s a reminder of the story of your struggles.
I found the multiple comma-separated phrases broke my flow too much as I read.

C2 Drop the first sentence. Again with the comma-separated phrases, often they extend the thought of the previous phrase, by giving related detail, filling the reader’s brain with too much ‘carry-over’. Eg ‘But counterbalanced by this was the poor hygiene in towns, the streets full of organic waste, poor water supplies and waste removal.’ Consider separating into active sentences: ‘This was counterbalanced by poor hygiene in the towns. There were poor water supplies, the streets were full of organic waste, and there was inadequate waste removal.’
Your use of quotations seems fine but there are missing close quote marks.
Great minds: ‘Lock and Newton’ erm Locke I think

C3 ‘For the family tree, see the appendix.’ I note that your main experience is in writing guides. For a much more ambitious project like this book you need to avoid ‘guide booky references’. I quote this mini sentence as an example. It breaks the flow of the narrative. In such books the author decides whether or not, and how to include references. The reader is free to decide how to approach them. For eg I might want to read all the detail in the ‘end references’ as I read but I can decide to ignore them and only dip in as I want.
This seems a bit scrappy in places ‘nurse children’. Do you mean ‘nursing children?’ And there are rogue spaces and things in the text – close proofing indicated.
Using numbers (eg 3): conventionally it is always better to spell out the smaller numbers. There is no hard and fast rule but 3 should really be ‘three’.
‘Why would a young man….?’ Do you answer this question?

C4 I was keen to read about the Microcosm and here it is – in chapter 4! Getting here I think I have just been reading what seems like your extended research notes; all the details and dates etc. I begin to think you must consider re-structuring.
So, a bit of it is in the Brit Museum! A significant fact that should be up front somewhere, and maybe on the back cover. Can you get hold of a photo of it- ask them to let you take one.
The handbill quotation is absolutely delicious. Why have we degraded our beautiful language so much? I could say OMG it’s awesome but that would illustrate my point compleately and be too tedious here to particualrize! Ha! And it’s really a splendid joke that at the end of all that he says, and it’s for sale. Immediately after this you repeat the bit about ‘planetariums’.
Irrelvant but interesting titbits really should be left out: the para on Cox. The desriptions at the end are a bit ‘stuttery’.

C5 Too much of this reads as a first draft – is it? Eg ‘By showing it in a private home, it kept costs down...’ which should read ‘Showing it in a private home kept costs down..’

C6 The lack of a central thread is really visible in this chapter which has too many rambling anecdotes.

C7 A tour round

C8 I didn’t get enough feeling for the ‘on the road’ aspect – just a lot of your excellent research findings.

C9 ‘The following is for those with….’ A total break of flow. Again reads like your research notes. Is there a ‘class’ issue here that might be exploited? The John James mention underlines this sort of thing. Was Bridges just too low on the scale to a) register effectively, b) have the social understanding necessary to advance? Interesting angle perhaps. Think of the way the ‘longitude prize’ became virtually invisible as the nobs ran rings around him.
I’m starting to see the possibility of a ‘tragedy’ here – a man with talent but insufficient standing or understanding, trapped in an itinerant lifestyle. Is that true? Of course the story of a failure is not going to be particularly attractive. It needs an heroic element.

C10 Why repeat the ditty about the ignorance of the royals? This chapter reads even more like a guide to a country house.

C11 Again a chapter that says Bridges might have unsuccessfully sucked up to somebody with real connections.

C12 And I get no real ‘feel’ for the man.

C13 Of minimal interest to warrant its own chapter.

C14 You do yourself, your readers and Bridges himself a disservice by using a term like ‘geek’. I am of the view that these despicable stereotypes should be resisted at all times. ‘Destruction of the obelisk..’ eh? It wasn’t destroyed was it? An introduction to clacks that should have appeared earlier.

C15 I think the Edgeworth quote captures what I had thought so far – that Bridges either got it wrong or was forced (for marketing reasons) to include naïve and ‘frivolous’ bits, trapping himself in the lower end of the market.
‘Once you go looking they become visible..’ – the book isn’t about you. And the little homilies at the end stick out – they are a bit like jerry Springer end bits.

C16 I love the poetry. It’s referents (to classical aspects) point up the degenerate nature of more recent popular culture. Now, suddenly footnotes! OK

C17 but this is all about his son. Is that wise?

C18 Rambles a bit. Your pitch gives no indication that later family are to be treated. Noting wrong with treating them but it needs to be part of a integrated story.

C19 doesn’t really fit does it – later work by his son.

C20 A brief chapter – again basically an extended research note

C21 About the remnant of the clocks history, necessary for completeness perhaps.

C22 Sadly a dissatisfying end note.

You have discovered what could be an illuminating account of a life at a fascinating period of our history. I looked forward to this. For me this text is a good starting point for a possibly excellent biographical history but that’s what it is – a starting point. You have done most, possibly all the detailed research such a study demands. Now, it needs to be better structured, highly edited and, above all, to be re-interpreted with a central theme.

I’m thinking of Jenny’s book (Lunar Men) which does contain masses of detail from her research but which she presents as a human story. Some (more general) readers find it a bit daunting but hey there are some clever people in the world and they need entertaining too. Nothing wrong with historical detail per se but too much of this is at the detailed research note stage, with disconcerting little bits of your musings on the state of our civilisation. Some of it betrays your successful career writing local guides and reads like a country house pamphlet. You need to get around that.

Please read this as encouragement. It can be done. I think you can do it. There is a proven market for this sort of thing but it needs a theme urgently. Consider the class structure element as one idea. Our modern world tries to cater for the fantasy that everybody can succeed, maybe some (very few) can but the reality as always is that social competence, networking and influence trump talent every time. Poor old Henry got trapped by it maybe.

Best
pta

Hi Barb

After reading the first chapter and realising I had actually seen the Microcosm in the British Museum, I felt a strange sense of connection to your story!

Foolishly, I didn't read your genre list, so thought I was embarking on a novel version of Henry Bridges' life. I am not normally very good with non-fiction books. My disappointment did not last long, because I was drawn instantly into the world of the clockmaker, through your mature and insightful style of writing. Pulling off a biography about a person whom the average Joe Bloggs knows very little about is not easy, but you've engaged me in Bridges' life and I am keen to read more.

You have cetainly done your research, but more importantly, you have re-written it in a way that flows and is not like wading through concrete - as some other biographies can seem with all their numerous facts. There's a hell of a lot of info to take in, particularly at the start of chapter 2, but your skill as a writer makes the facts easily digestable.

Chapter 2 does seem to end fairly abruptly, with very little closure. Consider maybe putting in a conclusion paragraph. This would give a clear sense of finalising your introduction of early C18 England before you move off into Bridges' story in Chapter 3.

Typo in the title of Chapter 2 on the word 'before' (you've put 'befor')
There were a few more typos and words dropped here and there, but I think you'll pick these out yourself in a proof-read.

Altogether, a fine read. It's now on my shelf.

Fe
'This Salted Earth'

I read the first three chapters and love it. Since I love history, the whole concept of clockmaking and other inventions sucked me in to read your book. I had to look at Wikepedia into the history of clocks to read about masters such as John Harrison and Christian Huygens. It reminded me a lot of the book and TV show called "Connections" by James Burke, who explained technology and history in a fascinating way. Had to back it. The writing is great. Only found minor punctuation errors, but that can be cleaned up.
All the best
Kirk
"How to Steal a Lion"

This is an interesting and well written story. It definitely has a lot of potential and could be one of those surprise hits. I have a few suggestions that might improve it a little, but you can ignore these comments as I’m not a historian and probably don’t know what I’m talking about! My thoughts on reading the first few chapters were that they could benefit from a little restructuring – particularly the early chapters which, for me, weren’t as engaging as the later ones. I agree with some earlier comments about the lack of a single, clear thread at the start and a little too much information thrown in that doesn’t seem relevant. I don’t think that the first chapter should be a potted summary of life in England at the time. I’d like to get straight to Henry – what he achieved that was special and different, and what information we have about him and what is missing. In terms of scene-setting, I thought the information at the end of Ch.4 and start of Ch.5 – about the history of the clock’s predecessors – was more interesting and relevant as it put Henry’s device in context.
I must admit I was a little lost at the very start, not having read the pitch, about the time period when Henry lived and what his microcosm was. The pitch provides a good introduction, so perhaps this information could be in the opening paragraphs. (I see that you’ve added the text from the “back cover”, which I guess addresses this to some degree).
In Ch.2, when you describe Henry’s house, it might be useful to mention what its current condition (ownership?) and function is. Is it a private dwelling?
One thing that surprised me was that the revelation that part of the Microcosm still exists is not made sooner! I’d bring this information to the start and add a short history of how it made its way to the British Museum. And, when you describe what survives of the clock, you could provide the URL to the British Museum’s photos of it for interested readers to look at.
In a couple of places you make statements which may raise an eyebrow. For example, what does ‘The story also involves family tragedy’ refer to? The rest of the paragraph (in Ch.1) suggests the family vanished from the region, but the reason for this is unknown. Is this the tragedy? If so, then it seems based on speculation rather on fact. If not, then what was the tragedy? I’m not sure about the “still only a theory” claim about atoms in Ch.6 (which sounds like the Creationist claims about evolution being “only a theory”). Atoms have been experimentally observed (!), so they really do exist. And I think knowledge has advanced quite a lot since the days of Henry Bridges.
Some typos, which may have been picked up before: Ch.1 “ravelling players” should perhaps be “travelling players”; “civilised past times” should be “civilised pastimes”. Ch.6: “an angel automata” should be “an angel automaton”; “drepeated” should be “repeated”.
I hope my comments are of some use, and I wish you all the best for this book.

I read a lot of manuscripts but very few make me tingle (this one did!). I only intended to look at the opening - 11 chapters later!!!!! What a fascinating story (i'm thinking book and film rights). Your attention to detail is extraordinary and the writing is very good too. Go get yourself an agent and a publisher!
I have to squeeze your book onto my shelf somehow. 6 stars.
Kim
St Viper's School for Super Villains

Barb,
I was immediately drawn into Henry's dilemma in "The Big World of Mr. Bridges' M." Inadvertently, I started soaking up what English history you could offer to get Henry's activities in proper context. You have a knack for bringing up interesting facts for dissection on the spot, thus keeping your reader engaged. I'm certainly caught up in fine detail I find as addictive as eating peanuts. Good show..

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I've skimmed through the first four chapters and whilst I found it heavy going it was, non-the-less, interesting. One of those annoyingly interesting reads that makes you question; why am I reading this?
For that reason alone, I am putting it on my shelf.

This is a very engaging story, Barb. And it is you who make it engaging to the reader. Your passion for the subject vibrated in my soul and I long to find out more about Henry's clock and microcosm. As a non-native speaker I pay special attention to the spelling and punctuation, and I really hope my nitpicking will be useful in making your ms even better.

In "Introducing the World of Mr Bridges":

Paragraph "Henry the man seems..." / a 'Renaisance Man' should be a 'Renaissance Man';
Paragraph "The term 'microcosm" / 'useage' should be 'usage';
Paragraph "The lack of healthcare" / when you enumerate diseases there should be 'diphtheria', not 'diptheria';
the same paragraph - better use ... instead of two, four or more dots - this is advice I got from Alan Chaput, and it's worth listening to; 'inoculation' - you need one 'n';
Paragraph "Clerics of the age" / 'topsy-turvy' - without 'e' / a bit later - I'm not sure 'cloaths' is right, you meant 'clothes'.
Perhaps Intro is a bit lengthy - I understand why it is as it is, but if you manage to shorten it a bit, the readers will get quicker to the story you want to tell.

"2 The Bridges of Waltham Abbey":

Paragraph "Henry and Sarah's daughter ..." / "could this be another error?" ['Could' should be capitalized]
Paragraph "Henry's will provides us..." / "Intered" should be 'interred'; is capitalization intentional?;
the ending - use ... instead of ..
I wouldn't be making such a fuss about the spelling and punctuation if I didn't care about your riveting story. If you revise what there is to revise you'll get the bestseller you wish to have. As the book is complete, it is the right thing to do.

The best of luck with it,
Ivan (thanks again Barb for the comment on my book, really means a lot to me:))

Love the detail! This is a subject I know very little about, so will defo read more asap x

I think your first chapter is a little detail heavy, but here's the thing - it's well written and engaging. Before we get to your main subject, I do think you need to compartmentalise the details somewhat - perhaps include the first chapter as a quirky foreword, rather than part of the work in full. Fascinating stuff, though - glad to have supported you

P

Hi Barb, I have dipped into your book. Interesting, but to me dry and too detailed. I agree with Mooderino's points.
Best of luck with it.

Hi Barb, A fascinating read. The march of facts is mind boggling. I'm not sure what your audience would be but Im one of them. I enjoyed the read. I didn't read every chapter, altho' I did read chapter 15!, I will go back to it & read more, but I was expecting to see mention of Harrison's prize winning pocket watch. Perhaps you did in one of the chapters I didn't read.
The 18thC was a horryfying time in many ways. The enclosure act drove country people into the cities and into crime and then, for mostly petty crime, to imprisonment, some times but rarely the death penalty, and incarceration in the 'hulks' on the Thames,Portsmouth etc., and then deportation to America and New South Wales-Botany Bay.
Woman had no standing and their estates became the property of there husband on marriage. I have just read Wedlock by Wendy Moore which tells of the disturbing treatment of Mary Bowes, an ancester of the Queen Mother, who had the most awful treatment by an Irish adventurer who tricked her into marriage. She famously managed to divorce him but her life was ruined. I didn't mean to go on at length. I hope I'm not 'teaching my grandmother to suck eggs'. Good luck with your book. Backed & shelved when there is space.
Best Walt.

Barb,
I've read several chapters here at random and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Yes, the matreial could be snappier. At the moment it feels almost like a piece written for a National Trust property: fantastical detailed, interesting and informative. However this is a long piece of writing and, to work as a bestseller, there needs to be a narrative drive that keeps the reader turning the pages (rather than dipping in and out).
I don't know what you're aiming for here and hesitate therefore to suggest any corrections or criticism as you may not be interested in this being a commercial project.
All I would say is that it could be a commercial project because you certainly can write.
Best wishes.
Gefordson
Nothing you can do.

here for the read as requested. But what can i say other than this is nothing short of an outstanding work. I chose chapters at random and got dragged into each one. Great writing!

Very pleased to be introduced to this book. I love it when I am both entertained and able to close the pages knowing things I hadn't before. Much deserves the backing and recommendation to others.
Jim Coplin
Bite Mark

this is a magnificently detailed and thoroughly considered piece. being a person who loves research (good thing – its my job!), this just fit with me. I felt like we were following someone who was trying to go back and piece together the life of someone dear to them - i imagined long nights at the town library, etc. You must’ve put a ton of time into this and it pays off in my mind.

I understand how some readers below had said, 'well where's the action?" - but i don't see this as that kind of piece. we're at another level here, beyond the 'pure entertainment' towards intellectual intrigue of a walk through a different time.

i love how each chapter pulls us along. Great mystery! Very well crafted. Uber support for this!