214 - The Wainwrights

I got much enjoyment from reading your book, and my earlier comments show that it induced reflection and a sense of welcome nostalgia for me. Backed.
Ame

Hi Andy,
I really like your travel/climbing log for several reasons :
(1) It reminded me of my brother who was a fervent climber. From an early age I admired his photographs of flowers and grasses from high up in the mountains, always feeling a kind of longing at the time to see those flowers 'in person' myself ( we are talking about the Austrian mountains). And I was able to admire them when I lived in the Swiss Alps for several months myself, including gentian and edelweiss. I still feel a thrill when I remember first spotting them. Flora and fauna are so different high up. In one - my memories were stirred and they were all good.

(2) The names of peeks and mountains are fascinating to read, and so are the descriptions of equipment and aids which you used (including the pints of ale and beer for relaxation after the hike, hihi)

(3) I had a little laugh because of the admissions of failure and misconceptions. It takes a big man to admit that he is lost sometimes, and I found that endearing.

(4) Last not least, the descriptions of you as a family together, experiencing the exhilaration of walking and hiking, gave me a sense of wholeness and sanity. I could see the boys running ahead, or lagging behind, and I could imagine their busy little bodies keeping pace with the grown-ups. Small occurrences of failures did not deter you and the story tells of a well-functioning family unit, where people love each other and work in harmony with nature, despite all of us being far away from those primeval days where everyone did that sort of thing out of necessity.

A throroughly delightful read for an inner city girl like me! Ame

Well, this was a pleasant surprise. Having read your earlier comments, Andy, I thought I was in for a world of editorial issues. Not so. This is for the most part a very clean read. And a very entertaining one too. I don't know who or what Wainwright is, but I really enjoyed this chatty, conversational 'travelogue' of Lake District walks and climbs. It brought back memories of traversing the Himalayas in my 30s - especially when the fog came down and you got lost on the mountain. An identical thing happened to me near Annapurna II, and like you, a solitary figure appeared out of nowhere - this one appearing like a 'deus machina' to guide me home. Maybe he was Wainwright, lol!

Yes, you could perhaps break up the narrative with a few anecdotes and a bit more dialogue (from, say, the boys, or other climbers?), and also perhaps get in a bit more physical description of the main players (including yourself), but otherwise I have no complaints with this. Six stars from me - a jolly good read!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

Andy, well done. I take my hat off to anyone who can get young boys inspired by walking, and you have clearly managed this with flair. The book is a great take on the Wainwrights, and for anyone familiar with the lake district will be enjoyable. I'm not convinced though that it would really inspire anyone who is not already a Wainwright fan.

You have a great start to the book – draws the reader in, I like the concept of being converted to something – I almost got converted to long distance cycling through my son’s endeavours. I think you could do a bit more with your descriptions – e.g. building on the problems with your first set of walking boots and waterproofs?

I found though, that by chapter 6, although I had a nice overview of several of the peaks, I still didn't really have any feel for what you and your family are like, other than the fact that you enjoy a good pint. If you really want to make this book sell, and build on the fantastic achievement of your family's conquest of the 214 peaks, you need to invite the reader into your family - I want to know what your boys are like, what makes them tick, how do you get them persisting when they don't want to, what are the fun things you do together... Apart from the minority of hill-walking evangelists, what engages most people in a book is the characters rather more than the route they are travelling.

You need to carefully proof read - I noted several typos, particularly around your use of commas. Don't forget the apostrophe when referring to Wainwright's guides. A couple of further suggestions:

Chapter 1, paragraph 3 – the sentence beginning ‘Friends on my course,’ doesn’t read well – I think the bracketed Geography should probably come before the comma; but more significantly, you change emphasis/subject between your friends trying to persuade you about the joys of walking, to your aversion to ‘God forbid climbing, and even worse camping’.

The sentence beginning ‘Now what do I love’ should have a question mark at the end.
I’m not sure about your story about getting lost on Scafel Pike – I don’t think it really inspires to start the paragraph with ‘at this stage I must tell you about…’ For the reader, that isn’t helpful and initially seems to break up the flow of your prose. Perhaps if you started with something like ‘I think I may have met Wainwright once…’ that might work better.

Good luck with the book and with whatever adventures you and your family tackle next.

Peter

Two Guys, Three Wheels and a Dog
http://www.authonomy.com/books/39212/two-guys-three-wheels-and-a-dog/

Andy - when I read the pitch I wasn't sure that the book would hold my interest for very long, but you have a very engaging, conversational and self-deprecating writing style which I found very easy to get into. I have put the book on my watch list as it is one I want to return back to and read the whole thing over time.

214 - My family and all the Wainwrights.
by Andy Grigg.


Hi Andy, a lovely read,very enjoyable, well done.
I felt as if I was with you on the many walks, excellent description, weather and all... the pint of beer was most welcome.
I can understand your questioning as to whether it really was Wainright or not, who you spoke to at the time.
He appeared to know quite a lot and took to heart the well being of the surroundings, I refer to the 'red brigade'.
So it could well have been him, I feel it was, speaking for myself after reading your story.
I think your book will be an asset to any walker in that particular area. If it could contain pictures you have taken, so much the better.
Pleased to have read what you've so far uploaded and to star rate your book.
Sorry to hear, Andy, that you lost your previous backings. I've therefore added my comment again.
I will try to re- back it soon as I can. It's an excellent book, friend.


Kind regards,

Neville.THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

Hi Andy,
Reading this brought back memories of walking with my brothers and parents up numerous fells in the Lakes, although I’m pretty sure my siblings and I did it with far less grace than your sons seem to. However, it did me no harm and for the three years I didn’t quite live in the Lakes (Lancaster, Carlisle and Whitehaven) as an adult, I went back and repeated many summits as well as bagging new ones. I used Wainwright’s books but tended to dip into them at random rather than work through them. Your approach seems a great family aspiration and I hope you reach it.
I found your writing to be effortlessly readable and think it will be successful as exactly what you state you hope it to be. I wish I had my copies of Wainwright with me as I was reading this!
Wishing you every success in both the 214 and the writing.
Best

Andy,
There's a lot to admire here (and I don't mean simply the persistence in tackling your chosen challenge).
I'm sure that there's a market for this book out there. I'd echo some of the other comments about editing and maybe add that you could use some kind of a format to break up the chapters. At the moment you run the risk of deterring readers who feel they're facing endless paragraphs leading to a dry read (they aren't and it isn't).
I'm sure when you hit on a simple structure this book will be a real addition to the hiker's backpack.
Best wishes.
Gefordson
Nothing you can do.

Hi Andy, 214 Wainwrights are worth the challenge. With family living in Cockermouth we have done a few, and they think they are the luckiest people in the world. (Parents and 2 children around the age of yours.) We, too, love Keswick, but would include the magical theatre, the stone circle, ferries on Derwentwater and lots of kids' activities as attractions. Cumbrian kids have waterproof skins - and readers might like to know of the children's farms and adventure parks available, the osprey observation centre at Whinlatter (and more information on red squirrels) or the hawk flying at Trotters Farm which would act as foils in between hefty hikes and expand their knowledge of the environment.

You have a lively and entertaining style which is very readable, but I add my plea to other commentators that you adapt your idiosyncratic punctuation to fit the rules. Watch out for paragraphing as well. You have some very solid slabs of writing in which a reader would find it too easy to lose the place. Even when you are dealing with one walk, why not cut these into short sections? When you come to prepare your final manuscript, one way to separate topics under the heading of one fell is to put the first word or phrase in bold, the making paragraphs below of, say, ten lines until it is time for the next topic. They human eye finds that more manageable. Bold headlines also help someone to return to a page he wants to reread, as your final book may well become a reference book in its own right, an adjunct and addition to Wainwright's glorious guides.

I wish you well with your venture, on paper as well as on the ground. It would be great if I were to find your book on sale alongside the great man's!

Margaret Woodward : The Devil's Bairn

Hi Andy
Enjoyed looking at your book. Was of particular interest as my husband and I are also walking the Wainwrights. We are down to the last 85! Your book is easy to read and I like the geographical and historical bits. Also the recommendations of eats and drinks afterwards. It would be a book I would ceratinly find useful and interesting. I've rated your book and wish you success. My only suggestion is perhaps to be aware of your frequent use of statements in brackets. The comments are still good though.
Regards Lindsey J

Hi Andy,

Please keep your readers updated with the next chapters... I've enjoyed the quest so far... I wish you, Tania and the boys well... it will be great to sit back one day and chat about your accomplishment... maybe when you're doing your third or fourth 'guide' ;-) I'm in no position to comment about editing but I do think JBC's advice is wise...

Thanks again... highly starred,
AJ

I have a feeling this book will do well. It can be difficult, I think, to write this sort of material without it sounding like a text book. But not so here.
Your easy writing style lends itself to keeping the reader interested and for many, there will be both past and recent memories of such a special place as the Lake District. Clearly you have fallen under its spell and it shows in your narrative.
Without a doubt you can tell a story well and I've enjoyed what I've read. Starred and on my shelf. Margaret.

Andy,
You have a good idea in this work and you develop it well. I didn't see any comments about editing, which this could use--primarily punctuation and breaking up some of the long paragraphs. But that's pretty minor. Any piece of writing can get edited. But not everyone can write, not everyone can put soul into this type of manuscript, which you've done. Very worthwhile and good entertainment value. 6 Stars.
Cheers,
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden) I could use some professional editing help myself.

Hi,Really very impressive work. i am very much impressed the way you narrated the story.
All the best.
backed with wishes,
S.Vinay kumar,
"10 roses for love"

What a fantastic idea and ambition. Your account brought back many happy memories of long walks in the lakes, mostly BC (before children). I want to pack my boots and head off today. I liked your encounter with the great man himself. Have great memories of reaching the summit Scafell in glorious sunshine only to lose our way engulfed in shrouds of mist on the way down. This is an inspiring read and am very happy to back it and star it. Am doubly impressed and envious that you’ve managed to encourage and cajole your children (who curiously are virtually the same age as our two) into becoming avid hill-walkers.

Tim Miller

Andy,
I enjoyed reading your true life travel account. Living on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, I was unfamiliar with the territory you have explored and it made me wish I could have been there to see that rustic scenery. Rated with six stars.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

I enjoyed reading this. It’s cheery, well paced and nicely told. You keep the tone relaxed whilst still managing to draw on your geographical knowledge to bring in interesting facts and figures. I think you could do with splitting up some of your paragraphs into smaller ones, and similarly editing some of your sentences into ones that aren’t run on, but the overall narrative is great, and even makes me feel like getting out into the hills! It should be a great companion to people visiting the area you describe.

Good luck!

Anna
Angelwings

Hi Neville

Thanks for taking the time to read and review - I really appreciate your comments - you get to close to the material you are writing to make valid judgements on your own work. I will return the favour soon
Regards
Andy

Hi Andy, a lovely read,very enjoyable, well done.
I felt as if i was with you on the many walks, excellent description, weather and all, the pint of beer was most welcome.
I can understand your questioning as to whether it really was Wainright or not who you spoke to at the time.
He appeared to know quite a lot and took to heart the well being of the surroundings, I refer to the 'red brigade'.
So it could well have been him, I feel it was, speaking for myself after reading your story.
I think your book will be an asset to any walker in that particular area. If it could contain pictures you have taken, so much the better.
Pleased to have read what you've so far uploaded and to star rate your book.

Kind regards,

Neville.THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

:) I will comment on your book as soon as I have read it :)