The Exhausted Dead

not my usual genre but i liked the short and long pitch. clean writing. good premise. easy read.
j
what every woman should know

I'm a horror fan and not usually into sci fi but I'm going to keep reading this for a while longer. The writing is clean and unlike a lot of sci-fi this isn't weighed down by excessive details.

I really enjoyed reading this. Happily backed!

the EXhausted is a good sci-fi thriller. you have all the incredients here; narrative, dialogue,plot, character, original names, and backdrop...
this is on my watchlist...
6 stars******
read SEASONS...

Allen,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency....

..... and that you deliver.

The jewel of the narrative however is the the description of process:

"gliding through spirals and turns"

"more polished than chiseled"

"her jaw flexes"

"jaws dislodge and snap"

That whole scene were the painting is juxtaposed with the exercises is very clever and reminds me of a film of Jackson Pollock as he paints

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bICqvmKL5s

then the description of events, like this paragraph in ch 3:

"The transport slows unexpectedly......."

again, the methodic, blow by blow description of process

with some of the characters descriptions downright eerie, like this one:

"A creature with chalky, peeling aqua skin....."

all of that add to a very entertaining read..


Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost points:

"lodged deeply" "beams with pride" "weaves of overwhelming emotions" "wild feelings"
I would cut a bit on the emotional labeling
Why?
Because when the writer labels an emotion, the reader reads ...the label
when he uses body language describes...the reader feels

this is specially noticeable is a writer that relishes in describing body movements, as you do
Just let your body language descriptions speak for themselves....

for..they will evoke the emotions...without you having to label them.

"entire surroundings" "graceful motions" "reading so clearly" "cannot(1) quite(2) tell(3)"
I would also cut a bit on the modifiers
why?
because as Updike said: "the modern reader can fill in the blanks"

Let me know if that helps,

Overall, wonderful

david

The Exhausted Dead
Powerful and compelling!
This author paints an extraordinary picture of the MC. Sci Fi will have wide appeal and the style is certainly going to make a mark. Very fast reading ... good pacing. Pages turn themselves.

Mechanics are spot on. No issues noted.

Raechel
Echo

The Exhausted Dead.
Chapter 1 - An atmospheric and powerful opening that elicits empathy for tortured Maiella without knowing if it should be given. Lovely sentence, 'Words bounced off her like gnats on a windscreen,' etc and the passage describing her furious workout comes across well.
Chapter 2 - Lots of little snippets dribbled unobtrusively into the session Maiella has with the Counsellor that lets a reader know the story is taking place far into the future, without revealing her past and what really happened to friends she is grieving for.
Fast paced action. Descriptive, energetic prose and realistic dialogue. Maiella's character is effortlessly being fleshed out in the two chapters read. The enigma of her past is a nice hook and the alert at the end of chapter two will keep readers of this genre, reading.

Nanty - Chrys!

This is exciting, beautiful and grabs the imagination. The prose flows fautlessly easy to read, one sentence and action flowing like water into the other. Love the interior dialogue, action, drama, colour, emotions.

You skilfully brought Maiella alive so that not only is she highly visual but the reader bonds with her, feeling her emotions. This is a book that makes you feel as well as exciting the imagination.

I shall be back to read more.

HIghly recommended. 6 * and backed with pleasure.

I wish you every success with this.

Best wishes,
Katy.
Phobic Dawn.

This is very heavy reading but intelligent and well written to say the least. Backed for the talent and imagination.

Liz
The Cheech Room

interesting premise. Not my normal cup of tea but your story is worth backin.