Forfeit

I loved the pitches, and, after reading, I love everything else about this book! This is exactly what chick-lit is meant to be, and I enjoyed it so much that I’m backing it. I never expected the story of a young (semi-famous by proxy) widow bumping into an attractive, bored, rich boy who drives too fast to be so intriguing. It is full of funny incidents, sweet memories, and lots of chemistry.

The start gives a great context and overall tone, and I loved Daisy as soon as she regrets having worn wedges to a cricket game, and loved her even more when seeing how she responded to Xander’s text. Scott’s early comment to her indicates the kind of character she is to the reader. Being knocked over by a man in polo gear managed to be romantic rather than cliché, and I felt the chemistry instantly. I don’t think any woman could fail to be hooked by Xander!

Her mixture of guilt and desire is perfect, and Clara is a great best friend figure. You obviously know the Lakes well, and the reader really experiences the area. All of the settings are very English (very Agatha Christie at times), and perfect for the narrative that unfolds. Xander orchestrates events to get to see her again, showing a sweet side of him (sorting out her horse issue also demonstrates that really well), and the dynamics between him and his friends are hilarious. I love how he constantly tries his luck with Daisy, and his confidence is never hit in spite of her constant running away and denial. I found myself cringing at, and feeling elated for Daisy at different points, and her thoughts are always honest, which really worked well. I especially enjoyed her sharp remarks towards Tabitha Doyle.

Forfeit isn’t introduced until chapter three, which gave the characters a chance to develop first. I love the idea of the game! Chapter four was my favourite because I thought it said the most about Xander and Daisy – they both let their guards down a bit more. The constant shifting of boundaries between them until chapter five rings really true. The tension and confusion Daisy feels in Xander’s absence is really clear. His own anxiety and issues mirror her own – being saved by a “Damsel in Distressed Jeans” was perfect.

Both of the main characters back-stories are really developed, and introduced gradually, and it brings the characters alive. They both have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and lots of readers will be able to relate. All the dialogue is realistic and interesting, and gives a great feel for all of the characters – something that makes your story so readable.

There are lots of interesting subplots, but the pace of the main storyline is never interrupted. I feel like I’m spying on a group of people, which shows how well I can picture the whole thing. An enjoyable read throughout, and I couldn’t put it down. I feel like I’ve just read a published book for free – please upload the rest!

I shall look a little bit more closely past the cagoules and rain, the next time I’m in the Lakes. Or is this just a fiendish marketing plot by the Lakes tourism board to sex the place up….. This is chick-lit as social commentary – at the Bridget Jones end of the genre. Throw a game of Forfeit into the mix and you’ve created a compelling reason to find out what happens in the end. This is clever, assured writing with brio. It’s genre fiction at its best with engaging characters with their own voices. Many writers underestimate the demands of this genre but you know it inside and out. You need a really good ear for dialogue as well as an encyclopaedic knowledge of It-Girl wardrobes. When is this going to be published? It deserves to be.
Alison (Lambert Nagle)
Revolution Earth

The best thing I love about this story, is Daisy's way of thinking. She likes Xander, sleeps with him, but then her husband just died, so she feels guilty and punishes herself for it. These are things I find myself doing sometimes, when I feel guilty. She is a mess, she's human, she 's real. That's what makes a character so memorable, and it definitely suits the chick lit genre.

The incident with the Prussian who turns out to be Xander's brother is incredible. I kept waiting for her to scream bloody murder at him for dropping her camera. And then the ball is sailing at her, what a moment. Most socialites would hope for a deep hole to open right then and let it hide them, but Daisy just cries. The drink was well deserved.

Xander is so charming, I'd totally do him as well, if he flew into my life that way. What's not to love. And he can cook!

This is an awesome story.

Cheers

Elaine

OK. I totally under-estimated this read. I only ever read the first chapter, and now I've read the whole thing, all I can say is OMG I totally heart it. Daisy is a great character, sometimes I wanted to slap her, her penchant for self sabotage was unreal, but she's very human, very realistic and very well written. Xander is just too perfect, but I liked the twists you weaved in - his work, the final dare. This is a seriously sexy book, without any real sex scenes, how you pulled that off I don't know, but it worked. I really, REALLY enjoyed this. The pace and structure work well, this needs to get out there.

I've got comments and stuff but I'll track and email them. Loved this though, and thanks for giving me a great beach read :)

Silva xxx

Daisy,

Before I start, the comments below are in no way intended to curry favour, nor are they designed to persuade you to give a reciprocal read to me – they are my genuine opinion. It is important for me that you know that.
It took me awhile to get to your book – time constraints, you know how it is - but now that I have, oh boy, what a belting read.
From the off, your style is measured and well structured, your prose never over stretching itself, nor falling short of its intended meaning. Witty dialogue abounds and from the off, I was immersed in a sassy kick-ass story that carried me along with gusto and verve.
As I mentioned before, normally this sort of book would not be my cup of tea – but it so is and not because it’s light and fluffy and without meaning – the converse is true, it’s broody and punchy and full of meaning. An effervescent tale, it’s hedonistic and there are enough dark shades running through it to give it that edgy feel that is so compelling.
The banter and dialogue is absolutely spot on – no mean feat, the conversations live in your work and breathe life into characters we instantly care about. In chapter four, Daisy’s conundrum between locking Xander in the bedroom for two days, yet realising that she had loved another before and that Xander was not him – the guilt, excellent.
There is a slight overuse of cliché but the story type and style survives it well enough for it not to matter and does not detract from the overall book.
An easy six stars Daisy. Yes, there are more wordy books out there. Yes there is more descriptive prose out there. Yes, there are deeper, more sombre books out there. But more enjoyable? I don’t think so – Forfeit, Daisy is a grade A page turner – and one that I am happy to back.

Since you've read my own book it will come as no surprise that this isn't my usual reading matter. The quality of the writing came as no surprise considering your ranking, and the regard in which this is held on the site, yet I was surprised that even my attention was held for the two chapters I read.
Well starred as though this isn't for me I can appreciate the quality of your writing and I hope you get to that desk soon.
Best wishes,
James

I've read your first 4 chapters and backed. This is a wonderful read - fast paced and energetic, and full of gorgeous men and glamorous women. I warmed to Daisy straight away and Xander makes a great hero; very interesting to see how the relationship develops .... The forfeit game is a fresh twist on the traditional sex-and-horses novel, and I think this has the potential to add a great dimension. Your writing is wonderful, too; nice, crisp dialogue and some wonderfully comic lines, with everything flowing well and without holding up the story. If I saw this in a book shop I would definitely buy it. Six stars, backed and best of luck from me!

Oktober

Love this! Lots of fun to read and great sassy characters. i woudl totally buy this in a shop!

You've done a great job with this Caroline. Instead of a straighforward 'girl meets boy, overcomes a few hurdles and lives happily ever after', you've mixed it up with the very enticing idea of an adult games of dares. I'm hooked.

I've galloped through 5 chapters and would happily read the whole thing. I think the plot is developed very well, with just the right amount of backstory. Daisy is sufficiently funny and self-deprecating to mean that I don't begrudge her the good looks and sizzling conquests. Enjoying the relationshiop between her and Xander, but also looking forward to seeing it go awry!

Robbie's apology didn't ring entirely true for me, the kiss on the head seemed a little too intimate for somebody he'd only just met. I also thought Lissie sounded about 25, and Marcus' birthday being celebrated in the middle of summer seemed odd even though I know nobody is up for a party on New Year's Day. But overall, fabulous! Starred and on my WL.

I can't pick fault with this, Daisy. Normally I'd rather sandpaper my ass than read anything labelled Chick Lit, but you tell your story well. I'm hideously ill-informed and unqualified to crit you, but I would've liked a little more sauce in your opening chapter. I'm not saying that necessarily because I'm a dirty old goat, but I just think you could do with more sexually provocative narrative.

I'm a cricket fanatic and play village cricket, and I reckon you've got a treasure trove of opportunities there for sexing it up a bit. You could mention a bowler 'rubbing the ball rhythmically up and down his inside leg', (which is what the bowler does to keep the ball shiny). When the bowler does that, it leaves a long red stain on his white flannels where he's been rubbing continuously. Do you know the protective gear that batsmen have to protect their family heirloom? It's simply called a 'box.' They can be uncomfortable, and you'll often see batsmen rearranging 'themselves' to feel more comfy. You could mention seeing the next batsman waiting to go in doing this. Depending on whether the batsman was dishy or not, you could be turned on or repulsed by this. By the way, 'Flintoff Wannabes' - perfect choice of player.

I'm going to have a word with my sister and see what she can do about a backing. Jolly good dialogue, reads very smoothly and could see bugger all in the way of errors. Have a few stars too.

Pete

Just what good chick lit should be in my unseasoned opinion--funny, snarky, irreverent. This was a most enjoyable read. I like the set-up, with the deceased but famous husband, the fish-out-of-water aspect and for originality, the game and what that will eventually mean to the fledging relationship. And it's very well written, a flowing rhythm and smooth transitions, just enough insight into her thoughts to keep the story moving. Easy to see why this is gathering much support, and I'm happy to add mine.

Mary

I read the first chapter. I can see why you won March Madness with this one. Very well done, very entertaining read! Highly starred and backed. Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

I must confess: backed this book as part of March Madness but hadn't gotten around to reading it until now. But now that I have, it's easy to see why it won! Your story springs to life and your characters are wonderfully entertaining. I'm not a huge reader of chick lit, but when I think of what good chick lit is meant to be, this is how I imagine it: great chemistry, funny moments, funky incidents, perhaps a *tad* cheesy but in the best possible way. Great job!

Cheers,
M.
Astral Sea: The Pandora Project

This is a really good story and you tell it well. I love your word usage and the way it all flows so perfectly. You are definitely a great writer. Good job, Lacy

Chick lit at its best!
I read the first couple of chapters last week and have just managed to read the rest. If this was a book in my hands I wouldn't be able to put it down.
Would love to be able to read the rest :)

Sophie

Move over Jilly Cooper. This reads so well! Daisy is complex and likable. Your dialogue is great and the pace is spot on. Just send me this book, a beach and that glass of wine you have in your picture and I'll be perfectly happy.
Sure you'll do great with this.
Best wishes,
Kate
The Licenser

March Madness: I'm your judge :) And, you're lucky I am, even though luck isn't needed as anyone can see your writing is damn good. Anyway, the next book I've got to read has an EXTREMELY hard act to follow.

I loved this and if I had the book in my hands I wouldn't stop reading, but real life intrudes and I've got stupid work, so at the moment I could only read the first chapter :( But, your book is definitely going to be read more because I haven't been this interested in a book for the sake of sheer enjoyment on Authonomy for a long time. I read another book the other day that I really enjoyed, but the topic, although fascinating, was glum and was needed for research, but yours was like sitting down and watching an entertaining mini-series, like "Lace" or other stories along those lines, stories that I love also.

Love your main character, which is saying something as writers have to work hard for me to like the females. I tend to favour male characters, but Daisy was great. I also like Xander and was most interested to read that, although he seems great in the first chapter, he may not appear as he seems (as you've said in the synopsis).

Really, this is the type of chapter that authors should dream of writing. I hope the rest of your story keeps me as riveted as this one does because I have a notoriously short attention span (But, I think you're safe, because I also love the concept). Just to let you know, I will be reading on, and I will post comments after each chapter, I just have to fly out of the county tomorrow for 5 days so my review/comments will come sporadically. This has nothing to do with the March Madness competition, because I actually want to continue reading for entertainment reasons.

Thanks for the read, Marita, a.k.a the March Madness Judge. 6 well deserved stars.

I read your first five chapters seven months ago. Today I read your first three chapters for the March Madness brackets contest.

General comments: Totally engaging ChickLit. Daisy is a fiesty, charming main character. Clever wit. Effective descriptions. Strong sense of place. Deft phrasing. Snappy dialogue. Well-managed sexual tension between Daisy and Xander. Crisp pacing.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) 'Duck, duck you stupid cow and the ball will miss you.' Comma after 'you' and after 'cow.' When you address someone, offset their name or title with commas.
2) ' ... smelled of horses and some divine aftershave.' When you mention an aromatic product try to characterize it. What is the dominant aroma in Xander's after shave? Sandalwood? Vanilla? Pine? Musk? When you characterize smell you pull the reader deeper into your scene.
3) 'An itch that needed to be scratched' is cliche. Consider writing the same idea, but in a fresher way.

Specific comments on the second chapter:
1) 'Xander, you won't ... ' Consider replacing the ellipsis ( ... ) with an em-dash. Use an ellipsis for hesitation. Use an em-dash for interruption. Since Xander interrupts Daisy, an em-dash is appropriate. There are more cases where an ellipsis should be an em-dash.
2) Hyphenate 'foil wrapped.'
3) ' ... I'd gone bright red.' This is written from Daisy's point of view. She can't see the color of her face, but she can feel the heat flame up in her cheeks.

Specific comments on the third chapter:
1) 'That felt good.' Try to avoid using the word 'felt.' Just describe how positive she felt so vividly the reader will experience it along with Daisy. When you do this, the reader will be pulled deeper into your story.
2) Excellent end of chapter hook.

I hope these comments help you further polish your all imprtant opening chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Have a marvelous day, Caroline.

Al

Hi Caroline ...

Reading along quite nicely yesterday, when someone decided to do some editing and left me cut off. I like your easy style and love Daisy, an interesting screwed up character. Dialogue is good and plot keeps the reader on edge with plenty of twists and turns. Interaction between characters is also good but the story could do with a good edit for there are places where odd words have been missed and others added. One point, the camera must be a Nikon DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) if the picture is on screen.

Apart from that, a very good read and deserves a place on the shelf. Backed and rated. Regards ... Duncan.

really well done. such a great build up and your pitches are strong. well built characters...
j
what every woman should know

This is a great read...I just cant find myself writing nice comments about books I read and wonder where the hell is this going but this story is real life, fast paced, fun but lets not take away the fact it is very well written......good luck, you deserve it.


Andy
Sting in the Tail

Fun and fast. Perfect example of Brit chick lit at it's sassiest. Interesting twist, making her a widow instead of a divorcee...feels cleaner for some reason.
Your men are hot and your women cheeky...sometimes it reads so fast I have to go back and make sure i didn't miss anything but that's because of the British slang and such...fortunately I watched the reluctant debutante a million times so I like the fast kicky dialogue and thanks to Kay Kendall, when Xander says 'don't' I understood that he meant more "don't mention such an awful thing if you care the least bit for me" instead of "don't go there, you bitch" which would be a more American take. So yay old english movies.
Anyways. I love it. So fun.

I can see why I got knocked out of the tournament and after reading this, if I hadnt I would have asked for a recount! This is totally engrossing and I have spent my entire lunch break (and a little more) reading. On my book shelf and I will be back to read the rest!

I read the first two chapters and I really loved it! It's chick lit at its finest and I can't wait to get to the blackmail and revenge part. I'm going on vacation in a few weeks. Any chance you'd share the full MS via email so I can read on my kindle on the beach? If not, I understand! Message me if you want my email address. I would send any feedback I have your way. Including lavish praise ;-)

Also, it seems perfect - didn't find one thing to comment on. I rarely have no comments at all - always trying to find at least one little thing that sticks out. But nada, zip, zilch. Good job!

Highly starred. Will read all you have posted!
KM

Read first three chapters and think this would appeal to many women. The characters are strong and are clearly defined. This is a very readable work and the plot moves quickly enough to maintain the readers interest.
Noticed a couple of very small error e.g. 'Strapless and sequined, I'd had to have IT (not 'is') despite the obscene price tag'.

Mike
Rudolph Goes Bananas

Forfeit:

Chick-lit is not my favourite genre and I dread it when someone asks me to read it. However, once I read a few lines of your first chapter, I went through it without wanting, or needing, to stop to take notes, as I normally do.

This is very well written, so visual the characters come alive on the page.

Among others, your scene with the cricket ball arcing through the air towards her then Polo Boots running to save her is well done. I wouldn't mind a hunk like that knocking me sideways.

Your humour flows through your prose without a hint of it being forced in any way. I'm very envious of your ability to do that. Dialogue is spot-on as well.

I've just read the first chapter but as you can most likely guess, I will read more. Maybe I'll become a chick-lit convert after all, eh?

Well starred until I find a spot on my shelf.

Cáit :o) ~ Reminiscing ~

Redux– Let's enjoy some shelf time!

Super-extra backed with stars, balloons, music, and fireworks.

(𝄞♫♪ humming ♫♩) Backing… Backing…

I loved the pitches, and, after reading, I love everything else about this book! This is exactly what chick-lit is meant to be, and I enjoyed it so much that I’m backing it. I never expected the story of a young (semi-famous by proxy) widow bumping into an attractive, bored, rich boy who drives too fast to be so intriguing. It is full of funny incidents, sweet memories, and lots of chemistry.

The start gives a great context and overall tone, and I loved Daisy as soon as she regrets having worn wedges to a cricket game, and loved her even more when seeing how she responded to Xander’s text. Scott’s early comment to her indicates the kind of character she is to the reader. Being knocked over by a man in polo gear managed to be romantic rather than cliché, and I felt the chemistry instantly. I don’t think any woman could fail to be hooked by Xander!

Her mixture of guilt and desire is perfect, and Clara is a great best friend figure. You obviously know the Lakes well, and the reader really experiences the area. All of the settings are very English (very Agatha Christie at times), and perfect for the narrative that unfolds. Xander orchestrates events to get to see her again, showing a sweet side of him (sorting out her horse issue also demonstrates that really well), and the dynamics between him and his friends are hilarious. I love how he constantly tries his luck with Daisy, and his confidence is never hit in spite of her constant running away and denial. I found myself cringing at, and feeling elated for Daisy at different points, and her thoughts are always honest, which really worked well. I especially enjoyed her sharp remarks towards Tabitha Doyle.

Forfeit isn’t introduced until chapter three, which gave the characters a chance to develop first. I love the idea of the game! Chapter four was my favourite because I thought it said the most about Xander and Daisy – they both let their guards down a bit more. The constant shifting of boundaries between them until chapter five rings really true. The tension and confusion Daisy feels in Xander’s absence is really clear. His own anxiety and issues mirror her own – being saved by a “Damsel in Distressed Jeans” was perfect.

Both of the main characters back-stories are really developed, and introduced gradually, and it brings the characters alive. They both have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and lots of readers will be able to relate. All the dialogue is realistic and interesting, and gives a great feel for all of the characters – something that makes your story so readable.

There are lots of interesting subplots, but the pace of the main storyline is never interrupted. I feel like I’m spying on a group of people, which shows how well I can picture the whole thing. An enjoyable read throughout, and I couldn’t put it down. I feel like I’ve just read a published book for free – please upload the rest!

Dear Caroline

I have read to chapter five, with a sense of real ease. I love your characters, your setting, the way everything plays out so well. You really have a talent for giving us good stories, for which I thank you.

Fran xx :)

Ch1
I like the picture of Ugg boots at Ascot. I saw someone in Uggs on a treadmill at the gym recently. Uggs are pretty weird. I liked the fate of the pallbearers. Very funny. I like the mixture of grief, social anxiety, and humour.

The action, with the six and the “Nice catch” was good. I laughed at the picture of her running one way and then the other in those heels.

You could have more crowd reaction to the cricket ball incident. They appear indifferent, as though the match continued, but a crowd would have gathered around Daisy.

There are emotional moments, the phone on the ground, with the photo of her husband, and the line, “”He’s dead. My husband.”
The outcome with Xander is really touching.

“until Sofia turned up” – Oh oh!

“His lips were twelve inches from mine” Somehow, I pictured them much closer by that point. He does lift the hem of her top after all.

Good stuff. Backed.

i like the premise and the setting. this story feels well put together...
j
what every woman should know

Husband dead, hungry for sex, tipsy, and checking guys out… what could go wrong?

Or right?

A little bit of everything.

This fun story is solidly in the chicklit category and I back it.

FORFEIT
This is an interesting story. Daisy is a good main character; she’s a little flakey but also sympathetic because her husband just died. The way you intertwine her internal thoughts with dialogue is a strength of the story; really lets a reader get inside your characters. Dialogue is a second strength. It’s crisp and pushes your story forward. Overall, highly rated and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Hi Caroline/Daisy, I can't believe I forgot to leave comments for your book. I've read the first three chapters and I love it. Now this is true chick lit--spicy, fast paced, witty, and thoroughly entertaining. I've highly starred Forfeit and I'll be adding it to my bookshelf very soon.

Good Luck with it. I hope Forfeit makes it all the way to the ED desk.

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

I like the story and can see why it'sclimbing the charts! It's heartfelt and a page turner, realistic too' which is why I believe it's doing so well... I've highly starred you and am looking forward to reading more!

Perfectly crafted story filled with humour, wit and delightfully entertaining. Good luck in reaching the ED; you have my backing. Maria (Georgina's Family) :)

I shall look a little bit more closely past the cagoules and rain, the next time I’m in the Lakes. Or is this just a fiendish marketing plot by the Lakes tourism board to sex the place up….. This is chick-lit as social commentary – at the Bridget Jones end of the genre. Throw a game of Forfeit into the mix and you’ve created a compelling reason to find out what happens in the end. This is clever, assured writing with brio. It’s genre fiction at its best with engaging characters with their own voices. Many writers underestimate the demands of this genre but you know it inside and out. You need a really good ear for dialogue as well as an encyclopaedic knowledge of It-Girl wardrobes. When is this going to be published? It deserves to be.
Alison (Lambert Nagle)
Revolution Earth

Dear Caroline

I'm not sure how I found your book, but I am so glad I did! I have only read one chapter, but I am reading more asap. Meantime, I want to say how happy I am to find a fluently written, confident and joyful page turner. Thank you. I am reading all that is uploaded here, and shall leave another comment. Meantime, six stars. I wish I could get a copy,

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

Forfeit - by Caroline Batten
I have to agree with Andrew W, chick lit and romance are not my genre's. I have a wife and three grown daughters and I get enough without the reading issues.
All that aside, your writing skills are very good as well as your storytelling ability. I did read 3 chapters, and although I do not delve into this genre (ever) I was please to see how you have woven a believable story with believable characters. You have played very well to your audience and Forfeit should do well.

P Alan Davis
The Red Poppy
Raindancer

Fiesty, irreverant, naughty, sexy and witty - Forfeit grabs you by the balls (so to speak). Daisy's character pops off the page as the girls chat and the fiancé alludes to her drinking - I think you conjure the opening scene well.

I enjoy the chat up with Xander. Love the way she tries to calm down: 'think of a politician" now that is very, very funny (why do they get to sleep around so much anyway?)

Daisy wondering what the X meant in the text at the end of Chapter 2 is really very touching.

You have created something fizzy and fun. I love the book cover, the title is neat and as I said before your MC's name is very cheery.

The book seems great fun and I'm sure you'll do well with it. For my part I've well starred it and popped it on my shelf for a whirl. Best for now, Sarah

This read has a real modern woman battling through the modern world vibe to it. The charter of Daisy is deep but messed up all at the same time and is really quite interesting to read about. Im not usually a fan of chick-lit but this read had enough up's and down's to keep me intrigued. I also loved the way you depicted Xander in chapter one "Knight-In-Shinning-Polo-Boots" - just brill. It's like Sex and City meets Ascot :-)

This is wit with a heart. That tightrope between lust and guilt is one you gracefully dance, powered either by experience or imagination. I was thirty when my husband died - also thirty. All the feelings you describe in Daisy - the anger, the repeated pushing at the self-destruct button, and the overwhelming need coupled with guilt - is painfullly, beautifully true. 6 stars , and soon to be on my shelf. Yours - Pan

Well. This oozes with naughtiness. But in a good way.

I like how a story where it could be easy to be a bit resentful of the beautiful people with their money, athleticism, and looks, is made sympathetic and engaging through Daisy. The emotional turmoil of bereavement and how her irrepressible personality copes with grief makes it human and accessible for people without razor-sharp cheekbones who aren't packing weapons of mass distraction in the back of their jeans...

~Forfeit~

This is fantastic, Caroline! I just could not stop reading!! I loved the characters of Daisy and Xander!

I'll definitely buy this once it's published!

Highly-starred!

Iman xxx

Miss Manners: http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Spot on writing. Witty dialogue. And exceptional character development even if I don't particularly like them. But I think you did this on purpose which I think is cool. I really don't have any criticism to offer other than I didn't feel compelled to read past the first three chapters. I believe the reason is because I'm less of a chick lit fan than most chicks. With that being said, this is extremely marketable to women and I believe it will do great if an agency gives it a look. 6 stars for you!

Hey Caroline,
You kept me up late last night! I started reading Forfeit and ended up reading for longer than i'd planned - but then as a fellow Jilly fan, the cover alone should have been warning enough to settle in. The proper word for your story is def a 'romp' - it barrels along at some pace, I really warmed to Daisy and found myself rooting for her.
Xander is sex-on-a stick! Love it, backed and starred, will be back to read more as soon as I can.

Like an Ugg boot at Ascot! Hilarious!

Very well written - no glitches!

The characters are great and realistic despite being famous 'ish'

Nicely done.

Hi Caroline,
Forfeit proves that if a story is well written, with a strong voice and great characters it doesn't matter in which genre someone chooses to place it. This is a very entertaining read, cruising along at a wonderfully brisk pace. Daisy and Xander are great opponents while playing at friends/lovers. Vanessa is brilliant too, especially as a party host.
One small niggle, and it's probably more down to me reading faster than I can usually manage, but there were occasions when I found it more difficult to suss out who was speaking. Your dialogue is so slick, quick-witted and, of course flirtatious, I was carried along, and then had to jump back to catch the train of conversation.
Only a couple of chapters in so far, but I will read on. In the meantime I can't rank it any higher, because Authonomy don't supply enough stars, and it's on me shelf.
Best wishes,
Robert.

Well, Caroline, you've certainly opened my eyes. I have never ever read anything remotely chick lit. Don't ask me why, I just always assumed it wasn't for me. (I think Bridget Jones movies put me off) Anyway, I love, love, love Daisy, she is so funny and totally cool. My favourite line so far? I stuck out like an ugg boot ast Ascot. That was so funny! You have me converted with your easy style, your way with words and the effortless way you move this story forward. I can't do it right now, but my husband will pop you on his shelf on my behalf. Will definitely be reading more of this. Well done. Julie xx

Hi Caroline,

I started reading with the expectation that I would probably read a couple of chapters - not my kind of thing, I thought. I read the bloomin' lot. I don't think I like Daisy and Xander, they are self-indulgent and quite odious...and yet...somehow I found them utterly fascinating. I'm not sure if I care about them but I definitely want to know what happens to them...how strange!

This was a really pleasant surprise for me. I didn't get on with the acronyms, I think there are too many, but it didn't stop me reading.

Best Wishes,
Maisie

Caroline, for the sake of my eyes can you please get this published and in print. I came back to do the Crit It Forward review and have read chapters 7-12 in one go. As always, I was completely pulled into to the story, which continues to move at an engaging pace but a lot more hints being dropped about Xander, seems to closer Daisy gets to him the more reason she is given for pulling back.

A few notes I made as I read the chapters:
'Even a Knight in Shining Polo Boots needed a Damsel in Distressed Jeans,' this line really stood out for me, loved it.

Good, strong end line to chapter eight.

I get so wrapped up in the relationship between Daisy and Xander, that I often forget there is another side to this story, something more sinister to the dares but every now and again you drop little reminders, like the warning from India in chapter 10.

I wasn't too sure about the text from Daisy to Shane. It was quite long for a text (although I've been known to send over long ones), it is a good tool for filling in elements of a story but I'm not sure you needed it here. I'm a bit on the fence about it.

Never read chick-lit before but youve hooked me with the first chapter. Great easy style & a real way with dialogue. On my WL & rated *****

Garrett

Ooh I really like this Caroline!! Really like it!! I read a LOT of chick lit books and I honestly think that this is better. I love Daisy as she is such a real character and Xander, well, I must admit I've fallen in love with him as much as I have my leading men in my book which is something!!
Six stars for pure enjoyment - read six chapters and will definitely be back for more!
Kelly

Forfeit

First of all I love the Lake District so I am starting this with high hopes.

I did think that the long pitch was a bit rambling and would benefit from a bit of a cull but then I do tend to like pitches that leave a lot to be discovered so this is only my very humble opinion as is anything else that I may say so please do feel free to ignore me. I write as I read and it does tend to be fairly “gut reaction” I hope that’s okay.

I am finding it all just a teeny bit over intense at the moment. I did have trouble with the comment about shagging the pall bearers not because I found that offensive but if this woman is still in the earlier days of grief I can’t convince myself that she would joke about the funeral. If it is a fairly long time since the death of her husband then why is she still lachrymose. Also if her brother had instilled in her a reaction to the cry of “Heads Up” then why doesn’t she react. Also you may want to have a little look at the sentence beginning Fortunately. Having said all that I am enjoying the read and am thinking that it is shaping up to be a bit of a romp. (I’ve tried not to but I am going to have to mention that actually it is a very bad idea to give a head injury patient alcohol.)

The dialogue is great, it is a bit over the top but totally in tune with the genre and it is very amusing and well written. As I have read on the pace seems to have settled and I am enjoying the read. I like the characters and the mystery about the death of the film star husband is very tantalising. The writing is very proficient and the whole thing seems quite polished.

I would like to read this as a proper book on a train with lots of time. It is escapism and fun but with hints at mystery and heartache and so on. I will pop it onto my desk but it won’t be for a while – blame Bradley Wind if he would just get himself sorted I could free up another spot. Thanks for a good read – Diane

Xander's a dream - but I'd like to know more about the forfeit game.