Book Jacket

 

rank 5445
word count 11515
date submitted 23.02.2011
date updated 07.03.2011
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Children's, Young...
classification: universal
incomplete

Fall of the Crescent Moon

M A Koning

Jonathan will die. The crescent moon will fall. The black moon will rise.

 

You will die.

Nine year old Jonathan hears the same three words night after night. They are the beginning to the tale of Akoowa, the world beyond the moon. He is meant to save this world, but fate has chosen a different path for him to walk, one shadowed by the black moon. On the eve of the crescent moon, it will tip the horizon and steal him away with a tap against his eyelids. No one will save him. None can.

Unaware of her brother’s fate, fifteen year old Sarah faces her own destiny. She is the Isasa Ikwezi, the morning star, a princess to a world she cannot remember. She has one task, find the seven stones, and destroy them. The fortunes of Earth and Akoowa rest with her. Darkness must not prevail, but when she discovers Jonathan’s fate, she goes against her own. What she doesn’t know is that Jonathan’s fate cannot be circumvented.

He will die. The crescent moon will fall. The black moon will rise.

 
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tags

children, fairytale, fantasy, young adult

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2 comments

 

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kenny hill wrote 442 days ago

Hi,

It's a dramatic start - are you aiming for children, and if so, what age group ? I wonder if the the first three chapters could be condensed into one. Could the description be diluted a little, especially in chapter 3. I think maybe you lingered a little too long there, when we should be seeing the plot evolving. It's tough to create a balance between background and plot, I think - a delicate hand is required. Tolkien tended to use it to set a scene, but it rarely usurped the story itself, and if not reined in, can smother the flow. Fantasy has to have an even blend, which is particularly difficult in this genre, given a writer has to contend with not just trying to tell a rattling good story, but create a whole new world at the same time. Ursula Le Guin achieved exactly that, with subtelty and grace - A wizard of earth sea, for example. Like most work - even the best - a bit of editing is needed. I think in The Fall of the Crescent Moon, toning down is required, and maybe a simpler, more direct style required. Yet there are gems - ' God's thumbnail' ; 'links fine as silk'; '

Good luck and best wishes,

Kenny Hill

Neville wrote 448 days ago

A nice fantasy story this is, just suited to children, interesting and certainly amusing at times.
Seven foot pirate surrounded by dwarfs...nice one.
A colourful story, with some very nice description throughout.
I like this ...the black moon rode in on the back of a cold wind... Great!!
Good characters in Sarah , Chad and Ben, they come over really well and the book has a good voice to it.
I can imagine some good Illustrations for the book...this would complete an excellent read for kids.
Well done!!
Pleased to star rate your book and wish you, all the best with it.

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – SERIES.


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