Book Jacket

 

rank 129
word count 61388
date submitted 26.02.2011
date updated 24.05.2012
genres: Historical Fiction
classification: universal
incomplete

The North Korean

Kenneth Edward Lim

Patriotism, a sexually insatiable geisha and the dreaded Kempeitai drive a displaced Korean across vast landscapes and two world wars in search of harmony.

 

When his father dies of a mysterious disease, young Eddie becomes the head of an aristocratic (yangban) family consisting of himself, his mother and hundreds of tenant farmers in Choson (North Korea) at the beginning of the twentieth century. He needs to grow up quickly to meet the demands of restive tenants seeking leadership as Japanese colonizers ravage the countryside. Guided by his mother's firm hand, he rids himself of his cumbersome landholdings and an arranged marriage to a woman almost twice his age, and embarks on a trek inspired by his hero Dosan Ahn Chang-Ho, the great Korean patriot in American self-exile.
He crosses the border into Manchuria where he experiences a sexual awakening in the arms of a Japanese general's geisha. She concocts a scheme passing Eddie off as a bright second-generation Japanese in need of the general's support through medical school in Tokyo. Eddie gets his scholarship but after graduation four years later, refuses a commission with the Japanese Kwantung Army requiring him to conduct medical experiments on Korean prisoners in Manchuria. He flees, his masquerade over, the Kempeitai hot on his heels, the geisha paying dearly for her folly. He expects a final reckoning in blood.

 
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tags

a flight through ravaged lands, historical fiction

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268 comments

 

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grahamwhittaker wrote 22 hours ago

I can't agree with a previous commentator that the narrative is "too dry" . I'm guessing that there is a good reason for the narrative voice.. Though I do have to agree on one thing. The action scenes. A fine tutor at Uni once made the point to us about how to use the flowing sentences or the short- clipped sentences in writing. The basis being that romance, or sensuality would have long, flowing descriptive passages to accentuate love. Action, be it panic, or battle, short, hard sentence structure. (Even the use of incomplete sentences in action can be permissible used sparingly. " He hit the ground. Hard. Rolled and made it to a knee. The other knee a calamity of pain. Useless.." Or the romantic (flowing). "There would be no time for this later, this blissful slow, soft caressing of his body, the tone of his skin rippling under her gently smoothing hand..." Or the fast setup structure of an action piece. "The curtains moved. I turned. Not fast enough. That's when someone turned out the lights." So, yes, sentence structure is part of the emotional pull of a story. However, the story has engaged me and it's got great potential. If I were to advise, and I don't feel qualified to do so, I would just do as you are doing. Get the story down and worry about the rest later. You'll find that in the editing things will come together so don't spoil the flow with editing worries. I'm WL this and as soon as I have space on my bookshelf and time to spend I will read it through in a sitting. Good work. Oh, and thanks for the comment on my work. I appreciate it greatly. This is not a "swap read" or a reciprocal read. I'm reading because I want to and not because of obligation. Keep it up.!!

Colin Neville wrote 2 days ago

The engaging thing for me was in learning about the history of North Korea, and about the situation immediately post-war, when the Japanese were forced or were determined to fight on, despite the surrender.

The first chapter grabs the attention with its WW2 action, and later chapters move into an earlier period at the start of the 20th century. The culture of that period was very interesting, particularly in relation to the wedding and early marriage scenes of Eddie and his bride.

I echo what others said about 'Eddie', and although there is the explanation in ch. 3, this issue rather 'hung in the air' of the story until the reason for the name was credibly explained.

I thought a number of expressions were too contemporary when describing the early 20th century period: 'grunt work'; 'up to speed'; and 'fast-tracked'. It would be better to use terms more consistent with the period, or more neutral, rather than modern jargon.

Ch. 3 starts with a cliche and 'bombshell' is also rather too modern to use. Word missing : '...helped her [take] off her dress' in ch. 3.

Overall though, an interesting and certainly well-researched story that has understandable done well on this site.

minorkey wrote 3 days ago

I suspect this has potential, but for me the narrator was too dry and distanced to enable my own participation - I always felt one step removed from the action, largely as a result of your choice of sentence structure. Specifically, you use the -ing construction and descriptive repetition, way too much, in my opinion:

"They found no purchase, the loose gravel like ball bearings carrying him through"
-They found no purchase. Loose gravel like ball bearings carried him through

"An explosive splash accompanied the sudden impact on shallow water, the hood whipping back, the engine crumpling on hidden rock"
-There was an explosive splash. The hood whipped back, the engine crumpled.'

Your sentences also tend to be a bit long when describing action, too many adjectives, and repetition. For example in the sentence above, 'explosive splash' tells the reader there is water, and while the narrator might know, the officer wouldn't at that point of impact be noting that it's 'shallow' - especially as you then say 'four feet of water' in the same paragraph. The 'explosive splash' also assumes an impact. 'Sudden' is even more unnecessary - a better word would have been 'violent' as it is more descriptive, but again, you've said the same thing in 'explosive splash'

"As he got up, the earth yawed beneath his feet, first to the left, then to the right, like a boat on a billowy sea."
-He staggered to his feet. The ground yawed like a boat on a billowy sea.
'He got up' says nothing of his condition. You don't need 'first to the left, then to the right' when you've already used 'yawed'

'A shot rang out in the distance, echoing through the woods. Pain seared...'
-A distant shot rang out.
'rang out' is something of a cliche. 'echoing through the woods' is a nice line but it detracts from the immediacy of the pain, which would precede the echo. Also, there is sporadic shooting going on so I'm not actually sure that the officer would necessarily have noted this one in particular.

"Throwing himself behind a boulder, he scrambled on all fours across the remaining distance to the trees. He'd been spotted and shot."
-He threw himself behind a boulder and scrambled into the trees.
Why on earth does the narrrator say 'he'd been spotted and shot'? Possibly 'He'd been shot', but even that seems to labour the obvious. Unfortunately, 'just a flesh wound' made me think of Monty Python and the black knight from the Holy Grail movie. Sorry about that.

Anyway - nearly every paragraph could, to my mind, be tightened and improved, which would make the story so much more engaging.

Chris

SWORDMUZIC wrote 4 days ago

Hello Kenneth Edward,

I have read the chapters 1 & 2 of "The North Korean".

You have so tellingly depicted the events leading to Lieutenant Colonel Sasaki committing a 'Hara-Kiri '' (That's what the Japanese call a suicide by disembowelment ,is it?) at the end of ch.1 .
His trying to get out of the sinking vehicle ,in the beginning, is not aptly conveyed to the reader though.

In ch.1- you say-he increased his 'gait'----gate is the way in which one walks,how can you increase it?
Also 'hidden rock'-------you mean 'submerged rock?'

On the other hand,in ch.2 ,Eddie's elevation to the status of the head of the household has been described with sufficient lucidity.

"There was a Haiku somewhere in the spilled guts,he thought" ------------I liked it very much.

Obviously, your knowledge of the Korean history is some thing you lavish on the readers,and it is what we can look forward to as a bonus as we go through the novel.
I can understand Eddie's indignation (CH.2) at being belittled/exploited by the Japanese.

As one from this side of the Asian continent ,I can pretty much identify with him

At the beginning of ch.2 you have written"...Eddie and his father saw two 'fellows'-------' fellow ' is acceptable only in dialogues ,I suppose. A 'fellow' ,I reckon, is someone who is of the same rank /status as the speaker/writer.
You are telling the story of a hitherto uncharted territory. And you do it with great FELICITY!

Rgds
SWORDMUZIC

sandy-1 wrote 5 days ago

The North Korean
You have a great start and an amazing opening to your book. There is plenty of action taking place, and alongside lots of depth too.
I like the combination and I like detail of history. You have used a lot of knowledge and skill to put the story together, to make it believable.
Its well written and you have polished it up to the high standard it is now.
Highly starred
Ruby Middleton (Will Ryan)

Kayla H wrote 7 days ago

A return read (sorry for it taking so long). I read the first three chapters.
The things I liked about these chapters:
This story really gets off to a fast start; it plunges right into the action with a car crash and then a race through a forest.
You do a really good job of portraying Eddie’s shock at his father’s death—the buzzing in his ears, the distance from which his voice sounds, etc. And later on, showing the responsibilities he has to take on at a young age, including the marriage to a much older bride.
I’m a bit of a grammar freak but I found the whole thing to be very well edited. It’s obvious a lot of care has gone into the writing and editing of this.
You’ve done a good job of capturing the culture in which the story takes place. I have little knowledge of this time in history, but your detailing of it is very sure and authoritative making the story quite believable.
A few things I wasn’t too thrilled by (and these are definitely just my opinion):
The overall style was a little passive in places and a little heavy on showing instead of telling. For example, when Lieutenant Colonel Sasaki is trapped in the jeep, simply telling me he is in danger of drowning doesn’t really capture the panic he must be feeling or the sensation of drowning. The brevity of it also gives me little time to worry about his safety, lessening the tension. But despite that, it’s still a very action-filled chapter which definitely helps to compensate and kept me reading.
The name “Eddie” felt a bit out of place. You give the reason for it in chapter three, but it seems that chronologically he doesn’t start being called that until that point, so it’s a little odd that he’s introduced that way.
In chapter two I found the repetitive, predictable nature of the back and forth of question and answer between Edie and his father to be a little tiring. One or two questions helps to show how young he is and how little he knows, but for such a long stretch it’s a bit off putting.
The other problem was that chapters two and three cover a lot of time in not many pages. While the events you show are all interesting and dramatic, there’s just not enough space for them. It made it hard to connect to Eddie because I feel like I’m just skimming through his life, not really getting involved in any one event. I kept wondering when the actually story would start because a lot of this just felt like backstory: interesting but not completely necessary.
Overall though I found it to be a very intriguing, informative read, a serious, thoughtful story with a lot of depth. I wish you the best of luck with it.

J C Michael wrote 7 days ago

I read the first two chapters and it's the usual case of "would read more but haven't the time". Although there was a section in the middle of chapter 1 where a couple of paragraphs didn't seem to flow quite right the explosive start to your novel worked well in my opinion.
Chapter 2 was also interesting, particularly as it gave an insight into a culture of which I know little. The only thing that jarred was the name, Eddie. Is this a name your character picks up later? Like I say, I know little about Korea, but Eddie doesn't sound very early 20th century Far East to me. I'm sure you can explain this, but as you haven't done so at the outset it seems a little odd.
Good start though and I wish you well.
James

Mooderino wrote 7 days ago

I felt the opening chapter was a little overwritten. All the information you give is interesting and relevant, but you tended to repeat yourself or over-explain (imo).

Sometimes it was just a few extra words

“...Japanese stragglers as unwitting decoys to keep the guerrillas busy and diverted from him.”

Here ‘and diverted from him’ can be taken as read (that’s what decoy means), and even ‘to keep the guerrillas busy’ is unnecessary.

Other times it’s excessive repetition as in the part where you explain destroying the files will leave no fodder for the enemy tribunal, no record of atrocities, no thick binders documenting the numerous episodes of torture he’d personally supervised during the hunt for the North Korean. Which is just saying the same thing in three different ways.

You do this a lot. What it feels like is you had a few ideas how to make your point, all of them pretty good, and because you couldn’t choose between them, you used them all. This makes the writing feel bogged down in unnecessary detail. And trying to make sure the reader gets it by over-explaining tends to make the writer look insecure, like they don’t trust the words to do their job.

The section with Eddie read a bit stilted because of the question/answer format you used. Obviously kids are big on asking questions, but here it felt like an expositionary device as he interviewed his dad.

What you end up with is a lack of drama. A dramatic narrative requires two things, a character who wants something, and something preventing them from getting it. Establishing the Japanese in their land and then his father dying fulfil neither of these requirements, so it ends up being a big exposition dump.

The first chapter has a similar problem. Sasaki’s efforts to destroy the files gives him a goal, but even though there are potential obstacles to him achieving that goal he doesn’t encounter any of them. Even the jeep crash is easily overcome.

If, for example, when he got to the shack the Man was waiting for him, and you had to write a way for him to still burn the papers and kill himself, that would create a dramatic narrative. But falling and stumbling to his goal, no matter how well described, isn’t drama. And the Man turning up after he’d already done everything is a way of avoiding conflict when you should be doing the opposite.

Clearly you have an excellent grasp of he subject matter, and I have no doubt there's a solid story in here, but the over-explaining and exposition felt heavy-handed to me.

najwa wrote 9 days ago

Hm i commented but i can't see it has appeared. So here we go again: I think it's absolutely gripping, its marvellous and very well expressed- the pitch alone is very thrilling and urges one to begin to read immediately.
Rated---well and truly,
Best of luck
Nagwa

lhleece wrote 9 days ago

Having only read the first few chapters of this book - I can't wait to read more! You have a gripping writing style that ensnares the reader’s imagination, drawing them deeper and deeper into the world you have created. Your opening was quite confronting but perfect. You can't read it without wanting to know more. Who is this man? What happened that led to these circumstances.

The death of Eddie's father and his sudden elevation to head of the family is well depicted. I particularly liked his first lesson in fear. I certainly know if I'd have been in that situation, in the dark, covered in blood - I'd have been running too.

Eddie's mother seems to have her son's best interests at heart, though the arranged marriage is strange. I do however see where she may have been coming from.

Thank you for the gripping read! I fully intend to return to this. All the best with your work in the future,

Laura
Guardian.

Emma B wrote 9 days ago

I'm really enjoying reading this, i know it helps that i'm learning something interesting, but the writing, the descriptions and the emotion is really keeping me pinned.
I really like Eddie's character, and the way he felt about his wife and his sadness at leaving his homeland, also his slight humour "Must be his charm" .
Finding out about about the two different types of families, scholar, warrior, and the knowledge that soon the names will revert to what they were before, 'the flip-flopping of policymakers' great line. Your descriptions of people and places are really impressive, the shanty town and the journey there.
'Fast tracked to manhood.' Chul, there is something about him, i'm looking forward to what he teaches Eddie.
Really brilliant Emma.

Stephanie Mortimer wrote 10 days ago

Hi Kenneth, I thought the beginning was captivating and enticed me to read on. Love how you set the scene, I felt transported into a war zone and found it very believable. Great work.

RMAWriteNow wrote 11 days ago

Kenneth;
What an opening salvo. I was hooked from the first paragraph. Hara-kiri in the first chapter (now I've seen it all.) I disagree with the people who question your pacing. If the story was not told as it is, then it wouldn't be your story and it wouldn't be this good. Keep up the quality and well done.
RMA
Sea Spray and Stars

Andrew Esposito wrote 13 days ago

Kenneth, The North Korean has a very captivating first few chapters, the reader being drawn to immediate action within the war torn jungle of The Philippines,1945. The gruesome hara kiri scene appeared to set the theme of a war novel. However I was pleasantly surprised to be transitioned into the early 1900's of North Korea, a trip back in time leaving me wondering about the identity of principle characters introduced nearly half a decade later. The menace of old world Japanese authority is ever present and the journey into the outer reaches of China adds to the escapism of the novel. The plot holds a lot of intrigue, including the historic backstory, the writing flows seamlessly. The North Korean is well written in a mature, accessible style. I will watchlist your novel for further reading. best regards, Andrew Esposito / Killing Paradise

maretha wrote 13 days ago

Dear Kenneth
I intended to read only enough to be able to give an informed comment/rating.
Your introduction is dramatic and I was hooked!
At the moment I'm reading ch 14.
I can only commend you on the quality of your writing.It is an easy read,full of surprises and description. You've researched your historical background well.
Thank you for leaving place for imagination,although you described the room well,when you describe Eddie and the Raiko's love scene.
I've got you on my watch list and rated a high five. One more to come, no doubt at the end of the story.
At the moment my bookshelf is booked. Depending when, you can count on my backing.
Kind regards.Please try and read/comment/possibly rate my book on ch 4-8 as this is the section of interest to me.
Maretha African Adventures of Flame Family Furry and Feathered Friends

dmh77 wrote 13 days ago

The first chapter caught my attention making me want to read further to which I did. Eddie is a well written individual and comes across as a real person – I will continue to read further into the book. Thanks

AbbieLilly wrote 13 days ago

I just finished reading two chapters of your book. Historical fiction is one of my favorite genres, and when it is written well, but at the same time finding the balance between preaching historical facts and telling accurately the feelings and attitudes that gripped an era, it can be gripping and impressive. That is how I am finding your book so far -practically flawless.
It is intriguing to look at the perspectives of two different men. At first, there is sympathy with the Japanese Colonel in Chapter One, but the North Korean's story is also already compelling and sympathetic.
Your book has depth -and I hope to see it published!

ladypreacher wrote 16 days ago

Kenneth,

I have completed reading the 15 chapters that you have uploaded. I was carried along by the intense character of your North Korean. I am amazed at the extent of research and knowledge that has gone into this piece. Your work is concise and extremely polished. The pace is fast and ever changing, which held my attention throughout. Thank you for sharing. I will keep on my WL and place on my shelf when prior commitments are fulfilled. Highly appreciated read and highly starred!

Audrey Semprun
The Back Track Conspiracies

Laurence Howard wrote 17 days ago

Your book is intriguing. You bring a refreshingly new look at the events half a century ago. The hero is North Korean which will intice many who want to learn more about him and his people. I enjoyed the first chapter very much. It was powerful and well written.
Best wishes, Laurence Howard, The Cross of Goa

Fred Le Grand wrote 18 days ago

No real comment to make.
Breathtakingly powerful writing, excellent pace and truly professional.
Set in an unusual place and time, this book should be between covers in no time.
Tight as a crab's arse at six fathoms, the writing draws you into the story.
In short - stunning!
Ken Follet eat yer heart out!
Backed.

ladypreacher wrote 18 days ago

Dear Sir,

I have completed reading through Nine chapters of your book. I have been fascinated by not only your writing style, but by the story itself also. I was a bit anxious about the geisha girl and the sexual encounter, but managed to read through it without too much of a blush going on... I have to commend you that a paragraph was quite a modest offering, even though it was a little more graphic than I was actually comfortable with. All in all, I have so very much enjoyed this story. It is late in the evening or I would read on... I shall highly star and return to read more. I'll put this on my personal watch list, but have prior commitments on my shelf for now... Lord knows why! I have one person that is 'watching' my book and no other interested parties. I have to smile. I've not been much for asking for support, or having much concern about my lack of popularity around here either one... Much like a nomad, relating to your young Dr. Yu who has reached California and just delivered a baby... Oh, and I had to smile at your church scene. It was quite benign. Jonah and the whale. You should hear my sermons in my Christian novels... Would make you blush!

Brigitte_2 wrote 21 days ago

I am catching my breath. It's so fast, so powerful, an intriguing treasure trove waiting to be opened and I only read one chapter. You are on my watchlist with four stars so far, but I shall be back to add two more.
Brigitte
You will dance again!

Mule wrote 22 days ago

Kenneth,

Powerful writing! I'm impressed by the flow and easy telling of the narrative. You'e got a great story here. The writing moves with action, and there aren't any wasted words -- but the words and phrases convey striking images (thinking of the concluding image of chapter one, specifically). Thanks for sharing your stuff, and thanks for your comment on Sailors. Appreciate it!

Sam Cronin

Sharda D wrote 24 days ago

Hi Kenneth,
an absolutely stonking first chapter, one of the best I've seen on Authonomy. Well done. It is well-judged, emotive, gripping and intriguing all at once!
Chapter 2 fell down a little bit, but that is only to be expected. There seems to be too much dialogue, especially in the first part of the chapter, and I'd say dialogue isn't the strongest part of your writing. It needs a bit more crafting, but I guess you know that.
Still, for that first chapter and the promise of an equally gripping story unfolding according to your pitch, I shall happily give you six stars!
All the best,
Sharda.

BlueDevil wrote 25 days ago

Ch. 2

A lot of good backstory, but I feel like it could be a little more fluid. It seemed a little bit rushed. There was some good information in here I would have liked to have settled into a little more - maybe built the scene a little bit more. If you post on CC, please message me - I'm Kathryn there.

BlueDevil wrote 25 days ago

A very strong beginning. There are a few places where you could tighten your prose by being more simple and direct. I am suggesting Critique Circle to most everyone I read here on Authonomy simply because the site is designed for editing and commenting as one reads. Here, I find the comments vague, somewhat repetitive and all built around praise...I think that's mainly because it is so difficult to edit. It's easier to just say, "Great job," to people. My copy and paste doesn't work and it's much too time consuming to scroll up and down, retyping sentences and then commenting on them. I'm tempted to do the same thing, but I just can't. Your writing is very clean and the subject of your book would make it a great hit on CC. I recommend the site highly.

Kathryn

zap wrote 26 days ago

Hi Kenneth,
I read 1-4 and found your writing very interesting and informative as well as sensitive and moving. The descriptions of places, history, clothes and cultural differences pulled a few heart-strings and my memory was tickled, as I have lived in Japan many years ago and felt quite familiar with different explanations and events.
I enjoyed reading about Eddie, and you managed to give him a youthful naivety which, I suspect, will get less apparent as he grows up.
Ame
Wolfmother in White.

Maevesleibhin wrote 26 days ago

Chapter one
This is a very good hook chapter. The ambiance is well set with an exciting accident in the first few lines. The thought of drowning in four feet of water was enough to make me slightly anxious. I found myself becoming attached to the character already, although there is no characterisation yet, and he is the traditional WWII enemy.
However, there are two inconsistencies I see.
The description of the Japanese fleeing is exciting, but it is hard to understand why burning papers would be a mission that only someone special would have to do. Why could not the communications people do it before fleeing.
Second, you refer to a North Korean, but this is 1945, before the Korean war.
Nevertheless, the ritual suicide is well described and the presentation of the Korean is exciting enough to hook.
I would certainly read on, at least a few more chapters, which I will do by and by.
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

leejohn wrote 27 days ago

Thank you for your comments, Kenneth. Added you to my watchlist..I'll give it a whirl Monday ;)

Thanks

leejohn

upforgrabs wrote 27 days ago

Chapter 1

This could make a great Michael Bay movie! Although I'm not a huge fan of "action novels" myself (I prefer the more leisurely kind of read...) I can see this doing very well. There's not a great deal to criticize in your style, though I feel you might do a bit more "showing" rather than "telling" in places. For example, the way Sasaski cuts himself open at the end of this chapter - that could be a great opportunity for vivid description. Still, the writing is exceptionally polished and it's touching on a liittle-known area of conflict - we're all familiar with Vietnam, not so much North Korea - which is becoming relevant today. So this could be quickly snapped up.

Thanks for your comment on "Tamria."

James

***

A few grammatical suggestions:

“belly up”, “defied the odds,” “no doubt in his mind,” “duel of wits,” “roles had been reversed,” “where he’d left off,” “onus remained on him,” “swan song” – clichés? Never mind, I suppose they’re perfectly in keeping with this kind of novel. You might want to use fewer well-wrung expressions, though. For example: instead of “roles had been reversed,” I might have “roles had been switched.”


“jammed on his brakes” –> maybe “jammed on the brakes”. Or possibly even “jammed the brakes.” “his” appeared in the previous sentence, so not a bad idea replacing it with “the.”

“loose gravel like ball bearings” – hyphenate: “gravel-like ball-bearings”

“spit out bite” – isn’t it more likely that he’d be spitting out water? In fiction, one usually spits out bile in disgust.

“Forcing himself up to his feet” –> “Forcing himself to his feet”; don’t need the “up”

“trolling the sky” – good choice of verb! But very contemporary – “trolling” being an internet term, of course. Since this book isn’t set in the early 21st century, maybe that phrase is an anachronism. “sweeping the sky” is a possible alternative.

“Three decades worth” -> either “Three decades’ worth” or “Three decades-worth”

“downward to his belly” – maybe just “down to his belly”

“‘You,’ the Kempeitai officer said in Japanese…” – just “said”? How about “snarled,” to make this more powerful, an obvious expression of recognition. “’You,’ the officer snarled in Japanese”

You might break that long sentence up into two. “‘You,’ the Kempeitai officer snarled in Japanese. They gazed at each other intently, like old acquaintances with too many shared memories to put into words.”

“all your hard work’s been for nothing” – how about “all your hard work has been for nothing”? That makes more natural-sounding dialogue.

nautaV wrote 28 days ago

My warmest congratulations, Kenneth!
The North Korean is a real wonder! I'm restoring my eyes and can't read as much, as I'd like, nevertheless I couldn't draw myself away from your book from morning till late afternoon.
The start is very active and promising. I suddenly find myself Lieutenant Colonel Sasaki, taking the events of the first-after-surrender day through his eyes, his feelings. At the end of the first chapter I nearly felt that comforting touch of the cold sharp blade...
The hook to further read was that very "...pray that turned predator"
A step back and we are in the early 1900 s. The pace becomes slower, like rural life itself, but how interesting the narration is! You open to the reader not only the country(most of us know too little about) with its lifestyle, traditions but show actual historical period through the fate of the protagonist.
Ch. 4 is even more interesting. Eddie is maturing and adding the erotic element makes the book even more vivid and attractive.
I put The North Korean in my WL to continue reading and now, all I can do for it is a place on my shelf and all stars.

P.S. I have not found anything to correct, except, may be " ... by horseback" in Ch. 2. I got used to "on horseback", but if this usage is intentional, please, - pay no attention.

Thanks for drawing my attention to your book!
I'm sure it"ll be a great success.

Val But
Escape

jenniferkillby wrote 29 days ago

Hello

You have a very strong chapter. The writing is precise and well formatted. The use of descriptions rounded not to bog down the reader. It shows you've done your research and know you stuff. The read continues to be good as the chapters move on. I don't usually read this genre, but I feel you're an excellent writer. I think you've done a excellent job of capturing the genre you're writing in and I believe this will do well for you.

Thanks for sharing and the best of luck to you.
Jennifer Killby - The Legend of the Travelers: Willow's Journey

Baisleac wrote 29 days ago

Chapter 1 - Brilliant! It absolutely hooked me.

There was the odd typographical error in the subsequent chapters but I don't think there's much point listing them all because I am confident that a good writer will see them after they've stepped back from their work for a little while and can return with a critical eye.

The only general criticism that I have is with the pace of the second and third chapter. I can see that they are necessary to build Eddie's character and I enjoyed learning about Eddie's early years but sometimes I felt like it was just filler until we got to the story you really wanted to tell us. Perhaps this is also because Chapter 1 was so sharp and to the point that I wasn't ready for the change of pace?

Chapter 4 to 6 - I enjoyed these chapters more. Perhaps because they are more focussed on Eddie's later maturing and not covering such broad events as the earlier ones?

I know this is not particularly helpful feedback but I am already up to Chapter 7 and I still can't quite put my finger on what it is that needs to be changed in the earlier parts. I am going to keep the book on my shelf for a little while longer though because it is well written and I think it's worth maintaining the backing. Well done and good luck.

Baisleac

Kate LaRue wrote 31 days ago

Kenneth, here returning a read. What a well-written and powerful start. The writing is clinical and without much emotion on the part of the narrator, though it seems to me that is just his character. He is a man who knows what needs to be done and is committed to it, even to his own death. There is something to be said about the analytical thoughts of this man who is throughout chapter one heading toward his own death but doesn't spare it a thought. Though I am not sure where the story will go from here, either forward or backward in time, I can tell it will be well written and gripping. Well done.
Kate

fatema wrote 31 days ago

It was a great read, well informative, full of activities, parental bonds, childhood to adulescent time involvement with responsibilities and naivity to hursh experiences, facing deaths. cultural and regional boundaries and conflicts. included educational and medical background and militery actions and confrontations. Immigration and emmigrations, crossing borders.

You have written well constructive and action pack. as it says incomplete i asume you have more to add, that will be enoumous. Next action movie series i can see, after Jackie chan series of movies.
While i was reading through i thought you might be innvolved with or have been in contact with military activities or gegimes some how. You seem to be well literate as well as imagiantive. Excellent.

fledglingowl wrote 32 days ago

Kenneth,
Marvelous novel, full of history and rich story telling. Have read the first two chapters and am most impressed with the brevity with which you cover such powerful scenes. Especially effective were the jeep wreck and then the suicide by the Japanese officer. Like the glimpse of his father, when he and Eddie are walking and encounter the Japanese advisors - brilliant writing, giving so much background information and revealing their relationship at the same time. See this rising quickly and well-deserved. Putting you on my shelf this week. High stars.
Good luck in your writing,
Janet
The Milche Bride
Clarissa's Kitchen

Kit Masters wrote 32 days ago

Hello Kenneth,

I have very much enjoyed what I have read of this.

As I know very little of Korean and north pacific history I'm very interested and think I will read more.

Your writing is clinical and neat, you avoid telling us what characters are thinking for the most part; characters and plot therefore develop through actions and dialogue.

However this clinical voice means at times the writing feels quite impersonal and the reader may have trouble empathising with your characters.

Perhaps just spend a little time considering who is telling the story and why, allow that to naturally pervade your prose; but of course this "who and why" doesn't need to be explicit in the text, and I think this would only need to be a small change.

Just an idea of course, a little food for thought!

Congratulations on a very interesting read and an accomplished novel.

Sincerely and with regards

Kit

Eden Ashley wrote 32 days ago

Here to return a read. Sorry it took so long!

First of all, immediately loved your opening paragraph. It's the perfect balance of description, simplicity, and action. Oh how many, myself included, struggle to find such balance. The story surges forward from there and ends the chapter perfectly. Great opening! Clever way of giving info/explanation via the conversation between a father and his young son. You avoided the dreaded information dump.
A suggestion for one sentence in the second chapter to give a heavier impact to the affect of Eddie's father on the boy--The words assaulted him, his chest constricting, his breathing reduced to short, shallow gasps.
Perhaps breaking it up would help? The words assaulted him, constricting his chest. His breathing was reduced to short, shallow gasps. Or-- The words assaulted him. His chest constricted, reducing his breathing to short, shallow gasps. Anywho. You're obviously very good this. I'll just go star your work highly now :)

Eden
The Siren's Heart

Julio Guzman wrote 33 days ago

Hi Kenneth,

Sorry it took me a while to get to your book! I don't really read these kind of books (it's not exactly my genre of intrest) but I can definitely say that you're a great witer. The first chapter read fast and your descriptions and dialogue are dead on. There's sufficient info to convince the reader that you've done your research and you know plenty of your subject.

I don't know what els to say about this other than, Highly starred and the best of luck :)

rikasworld wrote 33 days ago

I think this is very well written. The first chapter grabs the attention enough to allow you to go into detail about the North Korean hero's previous life without losing the reader's interest. It's not an area I know much about and I found the background detail you gave fascinating. It was nicely done, not easy getting a lot of information in while keeping the book flowing.
High stars and hope it keeps going well!

outofprintwriter wrote 34 days ago

I have had your book on my wishlist for a while - I am sorry that it has taken me a while to read it.

Your first chapter started with great promise. It is full of action and tension, and is obviously a significant moment in the story. I also enjoyed the way you bring some lightness into a horrific moment - 'His entrails tumbled on the mat, and he contemplated their significance on a spreading puddle of blood.' This would have been a difficult chapter to write, but I believe that you have handled it with great skill.

I don't know a lot about Korean history, so I appreciated some of the background information that you gave in the second chapter - however, it did seem a little bit forced at times.

On the other hand, there are moments where your prose flows really well. I enjoyed your paragraph about Eddie meeting his arranged bride, '...he felt a flood of relief that she did not have the face of a pig....' and you brilliantly capture the awkwardness of such young people coming together.

I may be a little naive - but would ten year olds really be expected to have sexual relations? It seems awfully young to me....

I have noticed that you have placed apostrophes in years - should be 1900s not 1900's.

This is an ambitious story - and it relies on you knowing a lot about the period, which from what I have read, you so far seem to have researched well. I have given you a rating, based on what I have read so far! Good luck with it all!

Camac wrote 35 days ago

Kenneth - my apologies for the delay in getting back to you. Your opening was great. Had me thinking of novels about the Pacific war by Mailer and Jones. In the next chapters we learn about Eddie, the strong family ties and traditions of his people at a time of turmoil and change. This an action-packed, well-paced story which makes fascinating reading. High stars!

Estelene wrote 36 days ago

I know this is an odd thing to comment on, but I love the flow and variety of your sentence style in the first chapter—the strongest of what I read. A lot of writers use the same sentence pattern over and over, and you use just about every pattern in the toolbox in this chapter. I like that.

You have some very nice turns of phrase—“old acquaintances with too many shared memories to put into words.” You also have excellent description in the first chapter. But what I notice is that when you get started on dialogue, you tend to give little description about what characters are doing, what gestures or facial expressions they have, and so on. As a result, I can hear the characters in those scenes, but I can’t really get a movie in my mind of the events.

The plot, however, is very interesting—a lot of potential there. Wow—“I entered her name in the list of goods”—and I thought we West Virginians were a male-oriented culture. ☺

This is interesting, and I’ll keep reading.

Cyrus Hood wrote 36 days ago

Wham!! great stuff Ken. You describe those last desperate moments of Sasaki most vividly, I felt I was there with him and The Doctor. I've only managed one chapter in my lunch break but will certainly return to this interesting work very shortly. On my watch list for now.
By the way, despite the prologue, my Hellion 2 is a tragic love story.

best regards

Cyrus

HGridley wrote 36 days ago

After you kind comment on my book, I hurried over to return the favor. I've read the first two chapters and really enjoyed them. I loved the visual elements of your storytelling; it's so vivid and engaging. Some of my favorite lines were--
“frog-kicked his way to the top”
“like an old nag without its master”
“a typhoon-tossed sea hewn into rough crisscrossing patterns”
“calisthenics”—hey, I thought no one used that anymore!
My dad's parents were missionaries to the Philippines in the 50s, so they have pictures of the Willy Jeeps, along with some of the period money, and other such things. Since my family has history there, it made it even easier to be interested in the first chapter. Like I needed help--! Great job.
~Hannah

E. Apanda wrote 37 days ago

OOOH WHEEHOOOOO! All I read was the eye-grabber and the word "geisha" totally got my attention. Memoirs of A Geisha- Arthur Golden is like my favorite book!!!

Lets just hope you got the charcter right.
Hope you've done your research. :)

Lacydeane wrote 37 days ago

First of all your pitch is brilliant. You managed to pack load it with quite a bit of very useful information yet all the while easy to read and understand. Your writing is flawless. Your words and sentences all flow in perfect harmony. Not too many words, but just enough to adequately describe. You are a very good writer with a unique and fascinating story to tell. Great job. Highest stars, Lacy

Joy Eastman wrote 37 days ago

Kenneth
Wonderfully Written book that begins with riveting action that pulls in the reader effectively. I loved the next chapter as it reveals a young boys pain at losing his father and his awe and terror when the most important life lessons are taught
Your writing is tight and concise while envisioned with intricate detail
A book worth high stars and soon to reach the desk
Blessings Joy - Gods gracious Gift

Clare B wrote 38 days ago

The pitch was brilliant! Quick to entice the reader, this is an impressive book, read first chapter, easy following, action packed, intriguing and racy. This is one to watch, excellently written, a well deserved 6 out of 6 stars.

Clare Be The Human Sunshine...Good Luck :)

ceejezoid wrote 38 days ago

Hello, returning the read! To be honest, had I stumbled across this I would have read it anyway, its totally my kind of book! I've only got to end of chapter 3 so far, but thought I would pause to make comment.

We've seen a lot of books dealing with the likes of China and Japan (there is a tendency, I think, to put anything remotely similar to Memoirs of a Geisha in the same category, regardless of culture or country) but very few have been told from the point of view of a male character. That, and the fact that I know very little about North Korea (or South, for that matter!) are very intruiging. Your book slots right up there with the best of them - reading it is like hearing the voice of the narrator.

It opens like a Bond film - sharp, graphic and tightly written. And then we are left asking Why? What? Who?! as you slip into a slightly dreamy back story. All the better, we want to see how its going to link up. The conversation between father and son is particularly effective in giving us an overview into Korean-Japanese relations without flattening us with history.

I think this is going to be an excellent book and I will clear some space on my shelf for it in a few weeks (only had the current crop up there for a few days, getting a bit frustrated I can only have 5!)