Of Nature and Man

There are truths being hinted at, quiet, and sometimes not… things being said that can’t be expressed in ordinary terms… delicate things that require a clear mind to convey. Complex feelings… sometimes intense… and tender analogies too. I read the first ten poems. I was moved in various ways by each one… by the seriousness and relevance of the topics, but I think mostly by the effectiveness of the individual words and lines. Sarah is clearly a perfectionist… not a wasted word anywhere… every word feels right.

Cancerous: “…like calling a tornado just the wind.” I especially like this phrase… but to pick it out from the rest is a bit unfair… every line in this poem builds to a perfect stab of insecurity.

Chernobyl: seems to speak of abandonment, and an imagined menace… perhaps real… it doesn’t matter if it is or is not… the hopelessness… that’s what is real.

Crooked smiles in a Baptist Church: Is it me? Or is this one not quite so subtle… common Christian zeal and hypocrisy. “But I saw them when they shook their hands, they would turn to shake their heads.” Hey, I know this one well.

Epilespsy: is dense with panic and fear. Very real. Not everyone has had an experience like this, but those who have are sure to relive it in this poem. Why would anyone want to? Because it’s life… a part of who you are… a part that is perhaps neglected.

Hunter’s Moon: I’m not exactly sure what this is about… but I enjoy the images and the rhythm… It’s a cold night, I know… Orion being there as it is.

Of Nature and Man: is a fascinating collection of snippets of reality… each poem is an exploration of the often overlooked core of our experience. Sarah Ethridge hits the nail square on the head. Truly eloquent.

Most highly recommended!
Rodney

Sarah,
I had to comment after reading only three. So impressive (and I am not a back slapper by any means). I find these poems deep, touching and artful--truly, truly. The first evokes a warmth many of us relate to and cherish. The last line is powerful. The entire poem on Cancer holds power throughout for us while striking a deep chord within--the use of the door is brilliant. Chernobyl. Have you visited Chernobyl? I saw some photographs in an article about those who'd gone back later. This is first-rate. "But I remember how it feels--being touched." I will read more and comment more and look forward to owning my own copy of these someday.
Sincerely,
John B Campbell (Nigel)

Not normally a fan of poetry, but these were great, I especially liked the one about the baptist church, it made me laugh! Which is always a good thing!!!
Star rated!!!

Well done

Ruth x

Sarah,
I love the introduction to your poetry - to give the reader an honest glimpse at the writer is a great way of starting the book. I'm no expert on poetry but all I can say is that I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. I was moved by several, particularly 'Cancerous' and I thought 'Deconstruction', 'Heart of October' and 'Fire Flies' were especially good.
Rated with lots of stars!
Melissa
Lessons in the Dark

Of Nature and Man.
by Sarah Ethridge

Hi Sarah,
I love poetry, always have done from a young child.
I have of course read all yours here today... delved into your mind and enjoyed the journey.
My favourite is ‘Crooked Smiles in a Baptist Church’ with ‘Midnight Blue’ a close runner up.
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the others, just that these two had something special about them.
Poetry publishers are on the comeback from what I read. I think you could do well with this, at least I hope so.
Reading your In-fill story at the end shows your talent for both poetry and fiction writing.
Either way, you will always be a writer regardless of the subject...and a good one at that!
Pleased to star rate ‘Of Nature and Man’.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone..

Hi Sarah, I was drawn into your poetry talk at the outset and think that's a good prolong to such a book, giving the reader an idea about yourself as a poet. These are poignant poems in that their subjects are often difficult and you've snared me into interior thinking about cancer and Chernobyl, giving images of emotion. I especially liked "All Kinds of Things" ("frigid air that blew at constant speed... waterstained reflections"), Cancerous ("I'd think I went deaf if it weren't for the sound of your door as it shuts"), Distractions ("Where everything was given to you like lollipops and freedom"), and Industrial ("and people will crawl upon its welcoming stairs…..that our land has long forgotten"). Also like the change of form so that it corresponds to the mood of the poem. I continue to revise my poems, cutting back on lines that might be repetitive or to emphasize the meaning and strong lines. This was good reading. Shelved - Katherine

Hi Sarah,

I’m here for our read swap. So sorry it’s taken me so long to get here. The six-month-old has kept me away :P. Below are my comments/findings. They are, of course, my humblest opinions.

In your short pitch, what does “Chapbook” mean?

Otherwise, the SP is pretty much to the point.

Introduction

“trans-gender” has no hyphen

Why would more people want to read it if a man wrote it? This isn’t the 1800s where men dominated the poetic audience. Emily Dickinson and other amazing female poets have opened the doors for women writers, and that was quite a few many years ago :P.

Yeah, I have to say, I’m not fond of that opening paragraph. It doesn’t offend me (not in the least), but I think it makes you come across unconfident in your writing. Let your poems speak by themselves without having to insert a disclaimer as to why we should like them. Just my humble opinion. I think it would increase your credibility to the reader.

“I say all of this to you” Drop “to you” (wordy)

“text but,” the comma should be before “but”

What do you mean by “criticism standards?”

How are “their relative truths ultimatums?” This warrants further elaboration, I think. I don’t agree or disagree, but it’s unclear to a point.

So I’m confused. Is this intro for the book, or just a disclaimer for the site? I don’t think you need it. Your poems speak for themselves, and this (in my humble opinion) does your poems a disservice. It’s almost as if you’re telling your reader, before they even see a poem, that you know they won’t like it, but they should keep an open mind anyway. You’re going to get critics. It comes with writing. As Stephen King said in his book “On Writing,” “No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone out there telling you how bad you are.” That said, while it’s important to take criticism with an objective eye, you still ought to present yourself with confidence in your work. We’re all in the same boat here, and you shouldn’t be anything but proud of these poems. I just get the feeling with this intro that you’re not. Or maybe I’m missing the point.

I read the first four poems, and while I can’t (and refuse) to critique a poem like I would a story (after taking countless poetic analysis courses in college on my way to a BA in English and Lit, I’ve come to realize I’m NOT an expert :P), but I will say that I like them. It just reinforces my opinion that you should do away with that introduction. You don’t need it, as your poetry can stand on its own two feet.

Some of my favorite lines:
--I’d think I went deaf if it weren’t for the sound of your door as it shuts (Cancerous)
--All I can do is whisper a hollow prayer and stare at your door, feeling just as sick as you do (Cancerous)
--they were tall green giants that would smile every second my eyes were opened (Crooked Smiles in a Baptist Church)
--I’d always peer out the window while I ate to look at the smeared, water-stained reflection (All Kinds of Things)

My advice is to keep writing, be proud of what you write no matter what, but keep an objective eye to criticism. Some people are just out to bring others down, some have no idea what they’re talking about, but there are a lot of people who do and are only here to help.

Best of luck!
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)

Of Nature & Man
Poetry's so individual/personal I hesitate to say anything, but these are good poems but I can't help remembering a few things from a couple of poetry courses, re. not spelling everything out but letting the reader infer more than you say, otherwise nitpicks:
Cancerous. (maybe not the best title?)
"I'd think I went deaf" . . . should it be "I'd gone deaf" or is there a reason for the non-grammatical form?
I wonder if it would have more impact to let the reader infer you're being shut out, maybe pair the 'growing inside' with your being on the outside? And I wonder if 'feeling as sick as you do' is right . . .more a matter of 'I'm feeling sick too'? Great last line otherwise.
Crooked smiles . . .
I love the way you've captured the phoniness of the forced "I'm happy because I'm saved"
Epilepsy
Great. Captures the situation. (I've had a couple of similar situations)
Good luck.

I liked heart of October - and I don't even know why. The rhythm, I think. The repetition of red. The imperatives. The alliteration. Nice.

Hi Sarah, I clicked on chapter 6 randomly and found this poignant. I'm not a huge poetry expert, but I like poetry (and prose, come to that) that is subtle and makes you use your own brain, doesn't spell out exactly what is happening - you don't say "this is 9.11 people" and that's great - we don't need you to say that. But I am a bit confused as to who and where this person is, having said that. "I was the only person who stood" - stood where? Inside the towers? On the plane? "Everyone else sat in small chairs to destroy..." - makes it sound as if their purpose of the people in the plane and the peopel bent over small chairs was to destroy - just a small tweak could probably resolve this - eg "imminent destruction" or something... Those are tiny nit picks, and if they're not of use or I don't "get" it - feel free to ditch!

As much as I love poetry, I find it hard to critique it, as I think each poem is a personal and unique journey for the poet that other people cannot fully understand. However, I will say that I absolutely adored this anthology. My favourites are Chernobyl and Heart of October. Your visuals are deep and intense and very powerful.

Highly rated :)

RK Summers
The Albion Pages

Sarah,
I have read your introduction and the 34 poems. I did not read the short story, as it seems out of place. (if you think it is an integral part of the read, please tell me and I will read/comment on it separately).
I enjoyed them much more than I thought. This was helped in part by your heartfelt introduction, which relaxed me a bit. 
It is hard with poetry. I often get the sense that it is a take-it-or-leave-it thing. You can't really propose changes because the whole structure is inter-dependent, and a different word may change the entire poem. Unless, of course, you are a poet, which I am not. 
You have quite a mix. Some I find exceptional, some very good, some not my cup of tea. Some I think need polish.  I think that they work well as a whole (with exception of the short story, which I suggest you remove and replace with more poems).
One general suggestion that I would make is that you change the name. It comes across to me as a bit pompous and frankly made me hesitant to accept the read exchange. On the other hand, your book of poems is not pompous all.  
You have a train theme  running through them, as well and an October theme. You might consider a name from these, or take a line from one of your poems ( I liked "thorns burning on the bush").
I felt that some of your best poems were towards the end. I don't know if you agree, but, if you do, although this is great from a Marriage of Cana perspective, you should consider bringing them forward. 
Here are my comments as I read:
2 All kinds of things. 
Very sweet. Why the brackets around [are]?
3 Very emotive. 
4 Chernobyl - really lovely
5 I love the line
they were tall, green giants

that would smile every second

my eyes were opened. But I swear

they would frown when I blinked.

6 I like this one quite a bit, but I wonder about the line
"When will I too be destroyed?"
It takes me out of the moment of the demolition and to you as a person. Consider replacing. 
7 This is great, although it is for me more of a short-short than a poem. 
8 Wouldn't be my choice for a subject for a poem. but I like your last line.
9 Its nice. Dawn and dusk poems are hard. 
10 You take a lot of these poems directly back to yourself. Some more variety may be good for the mixl
11 I like the nostalgic feel of this.
12. Its dragged, not drug- unless you are using it for effect. 
13. I like this one, but I don't understand "The mere soils to our foundation,"
14. I like your social commentary here. I feel that this one in particular could use more polish. 
15 I like this one very much. There is a good sense of the biting, resentful anger that comes across. 
16. Nice, but, "my faces as I place it"?
17 I don't like as much. Perhaps because it is too specific to an instance and a relationship. 
18. Did you mean Midas?
19 A good, sad still life. Again like a short-short. 
20 Everybody laughing. I think this is my favorite so far.  I really like the use of cards as a game, as a house of cards, and then you talking about the rock. I also like the image of people falling like leaves. And also this line:
 I thought I tasted everything but your honey is left unseen

and piles of salt go bad without my sea.

I also think that this poem is s good candidate for an alternate name for your book- for instance. thorns burning on the bush

21
And then there is this one, which is even better. I think you should consider putting this one first. It is really very good. 

22 this one does not talk to me as much- reads to me like a riddle. 

23. This one seems a bit unpolished to me. It is a very moving story, and I feel you could do more with it.

24
I like this. Please consider putting together the two lines
thousands

of years from now,

I think the cadence of the poem would work better if you did.

25 I like it. None of the others have a by line, so i suggest you remove it here.  Did you mean to have the space at the beginning of the second line?

26 This one have me goosebumps 

27 A very mixed set of emotions.

28. You really have a train theme going.
My only issue with this one is the 60 watt. That is not a particularly bright bulb, so brighter then 60 watts of an idea does not sound, well, bright. 
29. I am rather neutral on this one. 

30 another short-short. 

31. Cute. Again, I would not put a by line in poems in the book. 

32. Very good. Makes me think of Faulkner. I'd have more like that

33 So strange to get couplets after 30 free verse poems. But I really like it. The symbolism of the widow and the spider work well. 

34. Lovely, in a classic,romantic way. 

35 this is one of the best in the lot. Stands well on its own. 

I hope these comments are helpful. Over all I encourage you to be patient.  
I have stared this highly. 
Best of luck,
Maeve

Sarah,

I enjoyed reading your no-nonsense, forthright, and modern poetry. You stay true to your claim and tell it like you see it. Poetry is such a personal extension of oneself. I think you are very brave to let the world see what you are made of and what moves your soul.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Hi Sarah!

This is beautiful and meaningful poetry. I'm fascinated with the temperature-themed ones such as in Water and Air where the glassy ice plays a factor in the central character's fall into the swimming pool. The air conditioning against the child's shirt (clinging wet with sweat) and the coolness emanating from it that summer day in the one about The Garden. They seem to say, "I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and my surroundings - temperature-wise or otherwise." I'll know that if I read similar-themed poetry in the future to these ones, they will probably have been written by you Sarah!

Cynthia
Alecner/Sharing Short Stories

I read through six (five poems), and you nailed it-- I just don't like poetry.... it isn't for me, I don't get it

So far, Sarah, I've read thirteen of your poems. They tell me, each with its single image, that you think and feel deeply, and they capture a moment, like a snapshot or a bullet or a baby's first word. Maybe you don't have to write a whole novel to make your point. A brief poem will do.

I wrote a poem once. Put it in a novel and made fun of it:

BOY WITH A RAZOR

Slow
mow;
fuzz
was.

I like your poems, perceptive, revealing, often sad. They tell a lot about nature and man. Also about you.

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

OF NATURE AND MAN
I don’t usually read poems so I’m not a good judge of their merit; I know I liked these, tho. They’re simple and good examples of how we often miss the details of things unless someone points them out to us this way. I’ll add it to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President?

I recommend you cut the Introduction. Explanations are useless for poetry like explanations are useless for steel hooks. It either works, or it doesn't.

I'm a fierce atheist, so of course I liked "Crooked Smiles in a Baptist Church". Especially, "They would frown when I blinked."

"Exhibition" renders the narrator's emotion vividly.

The first two lines of "Hunter's Moon" are awkward, but I like the rest of it very much. Good imagery.

Prose poems are hard to do effectively, but "Jazz" succeeds. Especially the ending.

"Miscarriage" is especially vivid.

"Suicide" is quite good. There's a saying that every novelist is a failed short story writer, and every short story writer is a failed novelist. Poetry succeeds only as far as it is elegant.

"Ignite" is excellent. It captures the futility of human communication.

Sarah, I just have to stop reading for now at chapteer 5 and comment. I am a Southern minister's daughter, and I find this particular poem to be soooo true. I watched church members smile and be so kind to my parents and then I watched them turn away with somewhat of a sneer on their faces. You have captured the truth of the woes of church members in your writing. I have to defend the few kind souls who were genuine in their acolades to my parents, but they were few and far between. Also, the poem in chapter 2 stirred my memories of summers in the south. I, too, remember finding honeysucles and drinking the sweet nectar from them, and the fragrance in the cool of the evening after the heat of a summer day was intoxicating. Well done!

Debbie Martin
IN THE FAMILY WAY

Sarah -
Of Nature and Man - Thanks for bringing your poems to my attention. I read half-way, addicted :) It's not often that I find poetry I like here. Some great lines, and much passion. Will come back for more. Pia

Sarah, I read Hunter’s Moon, Loca Motive, Knowing (my favorite), Screaming Meemies, Water and Air and Whispered in His Ear. Beautifully written, startling imagery and a depth like peeling away many layers of an onion. These tug at the emotions because they are written by a perceptive writer, a people-watcher, a lover of all that is. Very well done. Claire ~ Chasing Pharoahs.

good poems- full of feeling flow, mind, emotion...well done...
l shall back...
read SEASONS...

Sarah (23)

I read half a dozen chapters.
I have to confess that I am not that keen on poetry that does not rhyme. "Pagan" I'm sure you'll shout. But I know what I'm about. I like the words to match, and I like the rhymes to catch, so that the reader's carried along and the poem feels like a song.
I did like Crooked Smiles in a Baptist Church. Is this a true memory of your childhood? It conjures up wonderful imagery.

Regards
Warrick

Good poem. Lose the last line. That will make it both sad and accusatory, which creates the necessary tension that will animate narrator and subject.

I like that idea! Shall do, thank you kind sir.

There is a lot of very beautiful work here. Complex imagery but a real appreciation for the beauty of words and their expression. I particularly enjoyed Chernobyl, I love the bleakness and the sense of decay and feel it balances well against the delicacy of All Kinds of Things and I also loved Conversations in the Rain. In each passage you convey place and atmosphere and the sparseness gives the work depth and poignancy. This is exquisite writing, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Backed with the greatest of pleasure.

Jack Hughes

Good poem. Lose the last line. That will make it both sad and accusatory, which creates the necessary tension that will animate narrator and subject.

Many years ago, I published a poetry magazine, a monthly. If this had been submitted to me I would have told the writer to keep going, but on your way, have a look at Anne Sexton or Theodore Roethke (A pretty wide swath of late 20th century poets.)

Dearest reader,
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. I adore you for all you do for National Geographic and all that you’ve experienced. You sound like a very intriguing character! Though I feel that currently, I know more about you than you do about me and my poetry. You see, in comparing me to the two other poets you sited, it seemed that you were comparing a turkey to a squash (forgive me; I am currently thinking of Thanksgiving). There are several literary magazines out there, each and every one looks for DIFFERENT STYLES and DIFFERENT POETS. In finding those two poets among your most sited, I must say that I probably would never submit to that particular magazine you worked for. As a poet, I like to encapsulate different thoughts, emotions, and ideas to the audience. So far, it seems to be working for Authonomy and that is simply why I haven’t taken these poems elsewhere. As long as the Authonomy world loves them, I am keeping them here as they are (well, of course I’ll keep editing them, but… so far, I like what my voice has developed into after years of writing and intend to keep my voice from sounding too much like Sexton and Ted). Thanks and welcome to the 21st century.

'without grandparents' or 'with our grandparents'?
'like a structured firmly planted' - 'structure', perhaps?

Edits have been made, thank you!

Many years ago, I published a poetry magazine, a monthly. If this had been submitted to me I would have told the writer to keep going, but on your way, have a look at Anne Sexton or Theodore Roethke (A pretty wide swath of late 20th century poets.) Here's a bit from Ted --

"I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
And learn by going where I have to go."

Hi Sarah

All Kinds of Things:

'without grandparents' or 'with our grandparents'?

Deconstruction:

'like a structured firmly planted' - 'structure', perhaps?

Well, that's it. There was nothing else that stood out to me, except very good descriptions and occasionally emotional content. It's very good content, but could well be awful poetry for I know. I doubt it very much, but my point is I know nothing about poetry so I'm of no use commenting on it really. I always used to think poetry had to rhyme in order to be poetry, but I know that's not right, so otherwise, I don't know how to guage it!

But anyway, it certainly seems to be very good poetry :) Good luck with it.

Read all the poems and some of the prose. Like 'witty smile'. What can I say? I like the spare poems .Your writing is best distilled.
All I can say is 'press on'. They can't all be good, just keep on writing and select those you like to show to us. Great enjoyment.

Like the last two lines of 23.

Suicide is excellent,compressed and real.

You have great talent at making things flow here. The poems are real to life and express a lot of feeling and depth to them.
Everything is very vivid for one to visualize.
My favorite was the first one of course.
Great work!

Shelby Z./ Driving Winds

Hehe... your favorite isn't first anymore :P

I like Main Street the best,so far. The simplicity is appealing.

You have great talent at making things flow here. The poems are real to life and express a lot of feeling and depth to them.
Everything is very vivid for one to visualize.
My favorite was the first one of course.
Great work!

Shelby Z./ Driving Winds

Hello Sarah,
First of all I appreciate your courage to appear in this site with your verses and poems. Modern literary world is crowded with prose. However, we can’t live ignoring the contribution of great poets.

Please take my comments positively.

I read five poems out of the group and appreciate your skill and you could convey the message. At the same time, I would like to draw your attention for some of my findings. Also, you need to serve some more punctuation marks to punch with lines.

Your first poem : All kind of things.

The “80degrees outside” gives real feeling about the outside temperature, whereas; when the 4th line end up with “like snowflakes from the sky” I felt a kind of uneasiness even though it’s symbolic expression to portray the shedding flowers. Because you’ve already created a summer in my mind with your opening line, but at the end, you threw me into the harsh winter.
Other stanzas are synchronizing well.

• Cancerous
It’s good one: “A moment of pain”

• Chernobyl

The trauma caused by the disaster is unforgettable.

Some of my curiosities:

“Like the steel mixed with dirt. Or-
Grass pierced through cracks of tarmac.”

a) Wouldn’t be molten steel? (if it’s mixing)
b) Piercing : wouldn’t be steel (if penetrating)

“Like the grass mixed with dirt. Or- (the grass and dirt are living together (if you mean mud or sand by saying dirt) hence the mixing (daubing) is natural)
Steel pierced through cracks of tarmac.”(the metal can penetrate easier and quicker than the grass.)


• Crooked Smiles in a Baptist church:-

“Well done! Agree with you: that’s the world we’re living.”

• Deconstruction.

A good one!

Regards.
Sali Kamar

I read 6 of your poems this evening. I enjoyed crooked smiles at a Baptist church, Epilepsy, and the one about your grandparent's house.
chapter 1: Made me miss my grandparent's house, with no dogwoods, no jagged rocks ,but Grandma would have said, "It sure is hot out here."
chapter 4: fake smiles at church. "They didn't seem to be all that happy but they sure did fool each other."
chapter 6: My mother has epilepsy and as a little girl I remember ambulances coming to get her. If they weren't coming for her, then it was my father, who had schizophrenia. I know the emotons you express in this poem.
Thanks, I enjoyed the read. Starred and watchlisted...
Georgia
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38389/the-woman-from-e-a-r-l-/

Of Nature and Man.

Dear Sarah,

Enchanting, meaningful, haunting, deep, sad, mystical poetry.

I am Welsh, as you've probably gathered, so I had great pleasure in reading your poems, with the voice of Dylan Thomas in my head. And you did a marvellous job. You should indeed feel very proud of your work.
Your writing style is lyrical and neat, tight with no wasted words. I read all the poems and, although I really liked them all, I've chosen a few I particularly liked: 12, 16 and 19.

Well done! You've certainly got a vivid imagination encased in powerful mystery. I read up to chapter 25, the start of your novel and I wasn't disappointed - I was impressed. I can see your work doing very well here. And I hope you enjoy your voyage to the ed's desk.

Katjay.

Have read a few and really like some of them. I feel sure you will succeed though probably not via Authonomy which seems pretty heavily weighted towards full length works of fiction. I question occasional bits of punctuation - with so few actual words it has to be perfect - and the odd word - eg In Jazz, should 'out yard' be 'our yard'? (Or maybe it's just an Americanism I don't get...) Anyway, lots of luck and on my watchlist. I'll come back now and then for a rest from the long stuff... Yes, please, a return read would be welcome!)

These poems demonstrate great observational powers, not just of nature (the dogwood trees of the first poem) but of human emotion, (as in 16 on miscarriage). While the notion of the outside observer seems to distance the reader from the emotion, and in many the observer is powerless to assist, the descriptions are so accurate that they linger in the mind afterwards Minor nit-pick it is 'used' not 'use' in the first poem and I was a bit dubious about 'van Gogh's ear' in 16 as it seemed to alter the tone. I'm sure others will enjoy these poems, however, and look forward to seeing them in print some day. Have backed. Jaye

Sarah,

I keep coming back and sampling your poems. Even if I pick one I've read before, there's always some nuance about it I pick up for the first time with each reading. Well done.

DW

I really like your poems and the style you write them in. Your writing is lyrical, with the reader able to follow from sentence to sentence. I really liked :Chernobyl" on chapter 3. The imagery is very vivid and spot on.

Sarah, I enjoyed the poems I've read so far. I can relate to chapter 4 with how joyless church goers can be at times. I'm not much of a poem reader, but the ones you have make me think and that is always a good thing.

Dear Sarah, Well, here I am to read & comment on your 2nd book - your 1st book, I backed, read, & commented on, "CRACK, WHAM, BAM." I love that your "collection of poems... grace over various subjects, showing brief observations of 'technology' and 'nature' and the roles each play in the speaker's reality," as your pitch portrays. :) Since I always read the last chapter 1st, ch.25, I was so happy to see your, "The Beginning," starting with, "The red Porsche" which totally beckoned me to read more and more. :) "The Epic" quote by Thoreau "As if you can kill time, without injuring eternity" really hit me & I love it because I try to be a good steward of every moment of my time each day. :) I was really surprised at the end of this story, though. :) Then, I went to ch.1 & instantly pictured the Dogwood trees in Paradise California, not far from Chico where I was raised & the beautiful big white flowers :) - beautiful poem. :) ch.2: "Cancerous" really hit me because Mama & Daddy & a sister, I watched each die of cancer. There's no way I can comment on each poem, but I hope you will write a million & get them on. :) Love, Susie :)

Sara,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

Read 1, 9, 17, 6, 24, 13

There are several things that jump here.

First the abstract phrasing ( i..e. "uneasy pattern" "return to static" "didn't heap at all").....

.... that instead of illuminate the moment..... flattens it out

It gets more interesting with the abstract metaphor ( i.e. "pixels and holograms", "silhouetted and still")

...for there the entire imagery is flattened out

...... add to that the sprinkles of dissonant prose ( i.e. "their uneasy pattern")

and what you get is what the Poet's Nicanor Parra and Jhon Asbery call the anti poetic moment

......that is, a moment that.....much like an abstract painting......

......by creating a resonant blankness in the reader's mind

.....leaves but the sentiment that evoked it....

......hanging by itself......

.....without an image to sustain it.


Some of my favorites:


9 : "Should I howl at you know?"
...haunting...

10: "Pixels and holograms is all he could compare it
an interesting metaphor for, pixels and holograms need a reflection before they can be compare to...

"Placing wrinkles into mother nature's pond"

"their uneasy
pattern"
I like the dissonant ending

10 "constantly being lit by missing calls"

6 "like trees, silhouetted and still"
frame that one

"return to the static"

20 "rooms became rails"

"trying to heap dirt"

"they didn't heap anything at all"

14.- "the fish in a bowl everybody forgets to feed"

13 "cracking ice on the way down"
"drowning in excuses that didn't add up

David

Sarah, I've read Chernobyl and I'm eager to read more of your work but was moved to comment. What a haunting metaphor this piece. The event was so cataclysmic it was like the world was stunned and couldn't really articulate what man had done. Your poem was powerful in its simplicity. Eloquent yet harrowing that like fallout, it really stays with you. Good work.Submit that, somewhere!!! Shelved when a space opens which will not be too long.
JupiterGirl (Twins of the Astral Plane)

I started to read these feeling as if they were just prose laid out as poetry, but the more I read the more they imprinted themselves on my brain. I like your matter-of-fact style and the questions that you ask. I particularly liked Pinnacle (oh – you might want to alter ‘peeks’ to ‘peaks’, unless you’re going for the double meaning deliberately as wordplay). I also enjoyed Imperium Sine Fine – you’ve captured a moment beautifully in this one, and bring back memories of visiting similar places myself. (does ‘drug’ want to be ‘dragged’ in this one?)

Hi Sarah,

I have started my writing career as a Poet; then turned to stories.

I enjoyed your poems, especially Heart of October

Best wishes,
Joy

Much better, well done. I went ahead and finished the others more in depth and they have been crafted well. There is brillance behind each and every one. Full of emotion and intense waves that shine through by the use of imagry.

Penny

Not normally a fan of poetry, but these were great, I especially liked the one about the baptist church, it made me laugh! Which is always a good thing!!!
Star rated!!!

Well done

Ruth x

There are truths being hinted at, quiet, and sometimes not… things being said that can’t be expressed in ordinary terms… delicate things that require a clear mind to convey. Complex feelings… sometimes intense… and tender analogies too. I read the first ten poems. I was moved in various ways by each one… by the seriousness and relevance of the topics, but I think mostly by the effectiveness of the individual words and lines. Sarah is clearly a perfectionist… not a wasted word anywhere… every word feels right.

Cancerous: “…like calling a tornado just the wind.” I especially like this phrase… but to pick it out from the rest is a bit unfair… every line in this poem builds to a perfect stab of insecurity.

Chernobyl: seems to speak of abandonment, and an imagined menace… perhaps real… it doesn’t matter if it is or is not… the hopelessness… that’s what is real.

Crooked smiles in a Baptist Church: Is it me? Or is this one not quite so subtle… common Christian zeal and hypocrisy. “But I saw them when they shook their hands, they would turn to shake their heads.” Hey, I know this one well.

Epilespsy: is dense with panic and fear. Very real. Not everyone has had an experience like this, but those who have are sure to relive it in this poem. Why would anyone want to? Because it’s life… a part of who you are… a part that is perhaps neglected.

Hunter’s Moon: I’m not exactly sure what this is about… but I enjoy the images and the rhythm… It’s a cold night, I know… Orion being there as it is.

Of Nature and Man: is a fascinating collection of snippets of reality… each poem is an exploration of the often overlooked core of our experience. Sarah Ethridge hits the nail square on the head. Truly eloquent.

Most highly recommended!
Rodney

Sarah,
I had to comment after reading only three. So impressive (and I am not a back slapper by any means). I find these poems deep, touching and artful--truly, truly. The first evokes a warmth many of us relate to and cherish. The last line is powerful. The entire poem on Cancer holds power throughout for us while striking a deep chord within--the use of the door is brilliant. Chernobyl. Have you visited Chernobyl? I saw some photographs in an article about those who'd gone back later. This is first-rate. "But I remember how it feels--being touched." I will read more and comment more and look forward to owning my own copy of these someday.
Sincerely,
John B Campbell (Nigel)