Book Jacket

 

rank 3451
word count 50908
date submitted 06.03.2011
date updated 15.03.2012
genres: Romance, Fantasy, Horror, Young Adu...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Indigo

Belinda Armstrong

Two species. An infinite war. One mistake. One consequence.

 

An endless war has scarred the ancient forests; caused by the conflict between lycans and vampires. Sabine, a seventeen year old lycan, is shocked to discover that one of her camp mates, Drake, has fallen to the clutches of a vampire and his brother. Fern, a friend of Sabine's, was with Drake when he was killed and was injured in the process. But Fern has information, valuable information, and, consequently, Sabine decides to confront the two brothers. Confident that it would be under control, she faces the vampires. Though, when her mental control seems to fail her, she finds that it would be harder to act normal than she thought. Reaching her peak point of wariness, she attacks one of the brothers. Her rage clouds everything else, making her reckless. One false move, and she falters. When the vampire sees his advantage, the very worst consequences make themselves shown, and Sabine finds that she needs to take a side. Lycan, or vampire.

 
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tags

horror, lycan, teen, vampire

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13 comments

 

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Butler's Girl wrote 50 days ago

This is in my opinion the BEST book on authonomy - anyone that says otherwise is talking rubbish.

AJB

Belinda S. Armstrong wrote 346 days ago

A very enjoyable story. I have one question- in Chapter 3. "His sudden anger made his fangs retract, protruding from his upper lip." Doesn't retract mean to pull in so they would be less visible? Anyway overall well done. Thanks. Desi.


Thank you, Desi, for noticing my silly mistake. l've fixed it now and l'm working to find any others.
Much appreciated, Belinda.

DesiS. wrote 389 days ago

A very enjoyable story. I have one question- in Chapter 3. "His sudden anger made his fangs retract, protruding from his upper lip." Doesn't retract mean to pull in so they would be less visible? Anyway overall well done. Thanks. Desi.

Anthony Brady wrote 416 days ago

Belinda - The reviving "transfusion" of Sabine by Jamie is cleverly described in Chapter 5. A vivid word picture of vampire activity.A couple of points: He bore his fangs... Correction: He bared his fangs. No need to put crimson blood - the word blood is fine. With a frown he lay her down.... Correction: Frowning, he laid her down... Very good writing. Later I will make an overall Comment. Best Regards. TB

Anthony Brady wrote 423 days ago

Belinda, I continue to Comment chapter by chapter. This section of the story - Chapter 4 - is about exploring and defining relationships. It is written using excellent descriptive flair. The dialogue is fluid yet controlled. There are lots of moods swings from playfulness to menace between the characters Raja, Jamie, Jake and Flick. The significance of the indigo pebbles is suggested rather than defined. The flash-backs to past activities between the characters are shaping the ongoing narrative and introduced confidently. You complete the chapter by introducing a new but unidentified character: a girl who poses a question. This stimulates interest for what's in the oncoming chapter. I read on... One typo - He let his trainers trod with care - change trod to tread. Tony Brady.

kendra ann ziems wrote 428 days ago

read through further and enjoyed; i liked your description and character interactions. well done!

Anthony Brady wrote 429 days ago

By this stage in any book, the reader should be well into the story and able to recognise its direction of travel: where it's leading to. In this Chapter - the third of 5 posted, most of the action is a long conversation between Fern and Sabine. It is very well crafted: there is flashback, recapping and projection forward of the story line. The dialogue is finely controlled and the emotional content between the characters quite credible. The direction changes in the final paragraphs with diversion to Ash and Fern's father. A thorough piece of work I think, with a final sentence maintaining the story's direction of travel. Excellent writing Belinda. Most impressive! Yes indeed. Note: Chapter 3 Para 3 (despite) instead of spite is the correct word. I continue on to Chapter 4. Tony Brady.

Anthony Brady wrote 432 days ago

The good narrative colour and pace set in Chapter 1 continues. I would change the opening sentence - only slightly - and write trekked (along) a dusty path, so as not to have the word down repeated in the same sentence. The tension created in this Chapter is accurately related to the action which follows the build up of the anticipation quite neatly. Overall most splendid writing Belinda, so I am already looking forward to reading Chapter 3. Tony Brady.

kendra ann ziems wrote 435 days ago

awesome! backed! if you could take a peek at my book would appreciate. thanks.

Anthony Brady wrote 440 days ago

A very good opening chapter Belinda. The hostile and friendly characters are introduced and their roles defined clearly and in contrast to one another. The atmosphere and background are well presented. The pace of the narrative is just right and the dialogue perfectly punctuated. The emotional level is carefully controlled. The sense of tension is suited to the situation. Some minor errors: for example... Para 7 - Scuffling his feet - shuffling is the word. Para 9 - the word of missing in a couple bloodsuckers. Para 9 - She snapped her head up, eyes tearing up. Belinda this is not good. Better to write - Her head shot up, tears came to her eyes. I read on and will Comment chapter by chapter. Tony Brady.

Anna Rossi wrote 444 days ago

Belinda, you have inherited your mother's talent. I'm not going to patronise you by saying this is remarkable 'for your age', because it's a terrific achievement for a writer of ANY age. The characters draw the reader in immediately, the descriptions are great and the imaginative storyline compells us to read on. I've only managed two chapters so far, through lack of time, but shall be back to read the rest as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, shelved - of course - and fully starred.
Well done - and keep writing.
Anna xx

Butler's Girl wrote 445 days ago

A best seller for sure! Will leave a more detailed comment asap.

Mum xxx

Belinda S. Armstrong wrote 445 days ago

Sorry about the word processor.

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