The Power of Black

I have just read to the service of mankind and this is what i am going to do. I am going to give what i hope to be more indepth comments on three of your poems. i hope this will be more useful than just a general comment on the book as a whole.
Firstly i like the style of this poem alot. It is reminisent of the long narratives given by the poet Sorley Maclean(the biggest compliment i can think of as he is my favourite poet)
the best i can do is to tell you my favourite line and least favourite line giving reasons.
1)the real art lies in shouting for deprived woman; blatantly reveal the atrocities being committed on them; the way the weaker sex was brutally assaulted. this is my favourite line i think it has a particular poetic flow to it. and as a woman who calls herself a feminist it is particularly appealing. in fact the whole idea of the poem,savouring life/ standing up for what you believe in(at least that is what i got from it) appeals to me.
2)just shaking your fingers aimlessly. . .with the collosal strength they posses. nothing wrong with this line but i think it would be better placed as the first line with the original first line as the second line.

right im off to find two other poems to comment on in a similar manner. i hope this is useful.

Hello Nikhil:

When I initially read the pitch, I formed a premature profile of what I expected this poetry to be, from a certain political worldview. When I read the other comments and saw the reactions of others, I decided to give it a whirl and I, too, was pleasantly surprised! I had expected a bunch of "Stick it to 'The Man'" ramblings, but it was nothing like that at all!

Please forgive me for being so presumptuous! In very technical terms, "This stuff is FANTASTIC!" Just the quality of the writing itself, let alone the messages it is conveying, is nothing short of amazing! You have a gifted ear for the descriptive and for putting words together into such a beautiful flow.

I do pray that your poetry will not only delight, but most importantly of all as you intended, that it will truly inspire people to action to bring about change for the better in every corner of the world and in every sphere of life.

One thing I would strongly suggest: You might want to tone down the profile: Too much, "Look at me!" This could potentially offend and drive a lot or readers away before they even look at your writing. I know this to be true because I see negative comments to this effect on people's pages all the time.

Blessings.

James

I read the first couple of poems here. They appear the be strongly religious, from what I read. That's not usually the type of writing that I would go for, and at first I thought I wasn't going to like these poems at all. However, as I read I saw an accepting and universal perspective that I began to identify with. I think A job is a job is a very powerful poem. The use of language is impressive. The emotion is bursting out but restrained in the way it is expressed. It's interesting and insightful. I will also be coming back to read some more of these poems.