ISLES END: A Spiritual Thriller

J.H.F. White, you've got serious talent my friend. God has truly blessed you. You have my 100% support man, go for the goal my brother. This book is NOOK, KINDEL, AND iBOOK worthy in my opinion.

[ ISLES END -- COMPLETE READ ]

Isles End is a book filled with inspiraton, faith and heart! J. H. F. White does an excellent job here of capturing and communicating faith in a well thought out Science Fiction novel that is easily connectable for both lovers of Science Fiction and lovers of many other genres!

The main character of his debut novel is Harry Turner, an everyman contractor in Isles End who discovers a chest with a celestial being locked inside. It is through this man and his relations with the people of Isles End and celestial beings that we witness the dark and light of the world. I sat rapt for many hours in the revelations of Isles End and in witness to the love that is born between Harry and his love interest, Beth.

To say that I am impressed with this work would be an understatement! I search to inspire others as J. H. F. White does! There is a depth here that I have honestly searched to find in other books and have only found in few. J. H. F. White's work is of a caliber that deserves to be in the stock of major book stores in the U.S. and around the world and I have faith that one day this book will enhance many lives! I believe it has already begun to.

I leave Isles End with a stronger sense of self and connection with God and I look forward to sharing this wonderful book with my wife soon so that we can discuss the happenings of this well crafted book!

COMMISSIONING EDITORS PAY ATTENTION! Isles End is a unique work with a large audience, one that will embrace Harry Turner's tribulations and heart and who will keep this as a stand out work in their own librarys! A gem like this deserves to be published and be seen! It is truly a one-of-a-kind read!

Have a blessed day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity, Eden Legacy and Lazarus, Man

Joe,

I stayed up until 1:30 last night reading Isles End because I just couldn't put it down! I'm entering chapter 37, Warfare, during lunch today and am really loving the book! I also liked your guest appearance! It made me smile.

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity, Eden Legacy and Lazarus, Man

CCRG
WOW, what a great book!!! I'm glad it's on Amazon. Reading your book and two others that I found on this site, I feel like I'm finally finding some great reads! You are already an author and need no suggestions from me. I fell in love with Harry in the first chapter with his sadness at the loss of his beloved Jenny. I was so happy that he found Beth in chapter 3 - and what a beautiful love story that turned in to. But, Narcissus, well that is an extraordinary story - Narcissus reminds me of the angel that John Travolta played in a movie. You are so good with imagery!: the smells of an angel, the smells of coffee... well, you're professional in all of your writing and I'm certain that you will become a very popular writer. Blessings, Pat (Travolta's angel smelled like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies :-)

Hi Joe,

I just read up to chapter 3 and really like your story so far! I love Harry's character - so normal and relate-able. Yet experiencing something so amazing. Your attention to detail is excellent, and the story is definitely suspenseful!

I look forward to reading more. In the mean time, high stars!

RJ Stanley
Why Didn't Someone Tell Me? The Truth About Love

Oh wow! I love the hook at the end of the first chapter. You've done a very good job writing a story that draws the reader in, introduces the characters and gives just the right amount of back story. I'm giving it lots of stars.
I hope you'll come by to read some of Stopped Cold and that you'll support it with a comment, stars, watchlist or backing.

Hello. You invited me to take a look at your book. I wish I had more time, but I've read three chapters selected randomly- 13, 15, and 24. Generally I'm not the sci-fi thriller type, but since Christianity is at the heart of your writing I can read this pretty easily. The writing is flawless and dialogue flows.

I'm not sure how long you've been working on getting it published, but I'm wondering about the marketing- the part we all dread. What have you tried and what have you been told about your pitch and you queries? What comparables are you using? The story reminded me somewhat of a sci-fi "The Shack."

As far as writing and story telling I think you have it down. Stacy G. (Bonsai)

Hi Joe

Well, your story has survived what others have failed. 16 WL dropped..7 book shelves terminated.. My earlier quote of ‘Please don’t let me fall asleep’ has been eradicated.

Psalm 89-11: In the beginning you laid the foundation of the earth inside a box, and then the heavens opened in your hands.

Joe, you have a compelling story here, exhilarating characters, moving on to Beth. Well, Dirty Harry is moving in...I wonder what ‘Auntie’ will think of him ?..No don’t tell me up to Chapter 25!..lol

Also like the way you added all your biblical modifiers. The introduction of ‘Eve’ and the tree! ;)

Joe- tradesman to another. I take my hat off to you. Well Done!!!

Book self saved!! 6/6

Leejohn.

I said I'd be back to read more of your book, Joe, and ... well, better late than never? I read Chapters 4-5 (after reviewing what I read almost a year ago) and still find this to be a compelling story with well-drawn characters. I particularly liked the banter among the construction workers. Offering the donut-crumb-contaminated coffee is SO construction worker ... my husband is an electrician, so we have experience with this.

I also enjoyed Harry's feelings for his wife and child, but I'm finding it difficult to reconcile that with his sudden interest in Beth. I like her character, but his sudden fantasizing about her is moving too fast for me, I guess.

Lauri (Lela Markham, The Willow Branch)

Joe,
A refreshing inspirational read. Like Harry so many of us want to put the past behind us and move on with our lives. Oh if only we could all encounter a Narcissus. I like the contrast of the characters of good versus evil. Life is really all about the choices we make and of course the consequences. The reader can identify with Harry and his gift of discernment along with the difficulty of cultivating it.In terms of the cloning, power is so troubling if in the wrong hands. I appreciate all of the biblical references and saw them quite insightful and fitting to your subject matter. Heavenly fun!
I hope you get the chance to read "Agent H" hope for Hadley,
Mary ann

Hey.
I don't normally read this type of book, but i enjoyed this one.
Good story line, Well written.
A couple of typos, but nothing to worry about.
No ones perfect!!
5 stars from me and I highly recommend.
Ellen Michelle

Ch. 7 para starting: "Harry recognized the man..." use "alternate" instead of "alternative." First, alternate is the participle (adjective-form of the noun) in this case modifying "objective". It's also a bit too "alliterative" (alternaTIVE perspecTIVE).
Line starting, "But if I knew ..." you write: "...I would lead to ..." seems awkward. Try instead something like: "But if I knew that not following you would lead to ..."
Great word pictures, here! And an interesting solution to the "great pit/isolation" of hell quandary! Very cool!
Joyce

Joe, as I shared with you I wanted to sit on my comments so to think over and not rush into commenting about the exceptional work in your book Isles End. Would you believe it's actually hard to find words when a book has really made an impact on me or when it has the effect that Isles End has had while reading it. Chapter after Chapter had me desiring to know more, discover the outcome of certain situations, and get deeper into the story, the characters and what they were in for next. The natural and supernatural aspect of Isles End was intriguing, enlightening, and certainly had me reaching into the next realm. I cannot imagine how anyone who chooses to read this book will not come out the other end having a few questions about the life here and now, and the after life.

Your writing style is effortless and straightforward. I had to giggle from time to time, I didn't expect such easy reading writing from a Tradesman, but hey, you've got it - no doubt about it, you truly can write and have the ability to bring your readers into the story. This is usually what I look for when I pick up a book, I want to become part of the scenes, the story line, feel like I'm right there in it all, and that's exactly what Isles End gave to me, for that I thank you and well done.

I must mention that I didn't come across any errors at all, I'm being very careful here, I could have been too engrossed in the book to pull you up on any areas that needed editing, please forgive me for that. Too good a book to be looking for editing. Sorry :).

I've given you a 6 star on Isles End. Well done! I hope this book reaches many.

Now we know what this creature looks like..Seems to be filled with Human DNA, since it can drive a car. I'm more interested in Reece Orchard at the moment..Can feel a twist in the air. Well done it's keeping me interested. I'll read another chapter Sunday. Hope you can repay the favour! ;)...Zzzzzzzzzzzz ;) lol

Thanks

leejohn

Great Writing Joe! I am intrigued after the first two chapters and will definitely be back to get some more.

You have a great ability to describe the situation and I enjoy the way in which you paint the pictures in my mind with your choice of words!

Congrats on a great book!

Kind regards,
Jaco Prinsloo
Factual Faith - Belief Founded on Truth

Ch. 6 para starting: "Harry was torn between ..." the word "alright" isn't really a word. It needs to be written out "all right".

Hey!! from the opening chapter I was hooked on this tale. A slow build up to a 'what's in there' was great...fantastic character development..getting into the psychi of the main protagonist straight away made you feel for him.
This reader adores genuine dialogue and this one was filled to the drim with it.
Well done writer. Highly starred.
David

Joe, I wanted to let you know that I'm almost to page 100 and you really have a great book here in Isles End! I am so glad to have it in hard copy and I'm going out on my deck to read more now while my daughter is napping! Have a fantastic day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

i like this. Several particular points have aroused my interest and the style of writing is easy, pleasant, and fast. You are thrifty with adjectives, which lends pace and a certain efficiency.
I have one problem however - you start the book by introducing one character after another in some detail - so that immediately the reader becomes interested in one, he is distracted by another. I was ready to explore more about the house and its owner - when Harry pushed in. I was getting interested in Harry - when along comes Ed. And these characters are too obviously introduced instead of emerging naturally from the storyline. More action and fewer abrupt introductions would be better. But it soon picks up speed and becomes intriguing. Good luck.

I randomly selected five books and placed those on my book shelve; the first two were removed after the first chapter. Now I'm ready to start: Isles End!

I will only carry on reading if I'm intrigued within the first five minutes; because that is all the time you've got before the book is dropped into the shopping trolley.

I started to read the first chapter and I thought 'Please don't let me fall asleep' Then came the lifesaver... He peered down into the dark cavity of the box..." Hello there!" came a voice.

I will read the second chapter tomorrow!

Leejohn. :)

Ch. 4: So far, so great!
I know this sounds little feminist, but you might want to consider having a female character who isn't there for a love-interest or "subordinate" employee such as a secretary. There are many women who work in DNA research and I've noted before that the few women you have introduced so far are in .... uummm ... "stereotypical" roles. Just a thought.
Joyce

Joe,

I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I'm engrosed in Isles End! I've been spending my lunch breaks and free time at night reading your book and am really enjoying the read!

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

P.s. It's great to see Isles End steadily climbing up the ranks!

Narcissus, I love your synopsis. =) The idea of finding someone, even a non-human someone, in a box is creepy and entriguing at the same time!

I found that the dialogue was great and the story pulled me along quite nicely! I am not surprised that this is already on Amazon. I'll be reading more of this soon. =)

-Tamara

Ch. 3 para starting, "But still, as Harry sat there ..." you've got, "previous nights events" ... nights needs an apostrophe (night's).
Para starting: "Could he have overworked himself..." no problems ... just a suggestion. Maybe you could have his eyes drift over toward the chest after the phrase "due to fatigue or stress" something like: "...due to fatigue or stress. His eyes drifted away from the table top and over to the empty but still fragrant sea chest. He jumped a little and jerked them back to the patterned wood in front of him."
Joyce

Hi, Joyce (woodworker, below),
You're sweet...! :o) And, your comments are duly noted, but after careful consideration and discussion with my editor (long ago...), over each point you made, we decided to keep the "working man's phrasing" intact, for creative purposes. I do appreciate your thoughts though! Keep 'em comin! ;o)

Ch. 1 para starting: "The three men worked well together ..." you write "...and were back to work." I recognize the "working man's phrasing" but you might consider "WENT back to work" or "were back AT work" just for grammatical puposes.
Para starting: " 'Let me give it a try,' " again, "working man's phrasing" (think I'll just note that from now on at WMP) "...grabbed a hold ..." you can drop the "a" for a more grammatical phrase.
You've hooked me good, though!
Joyce ~ Slave to Grace

Joe,

I wanted to let you know that I just re-read the first two chapters of the paperback copy of your book today and am loving the read! You write a fantastic, unique story here and I see myself getting engrossed and spending hours in Isles End. It's so good to have the hard copy to read!

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott

This is a CLF review,

I have recently finished the 22 chapters available here and have enjoyed the story immensely. The writing style is very smooth and draws the reader alone with the tale. It is also done very descriptively leaving the reader the visual picture of what is being written without even trying to imagine it. Particularly visual was the gate made of the living creatures.

Biblical tales have been integrated into the story. They are told not in the form they appear in the Bible, but rather the author has taken on the role of giving them a more real feeling describing the scenes in his own particular way. The reader may recognize one or more of these even if they don't have a very working knowledge of the Bible. Such is the case with Eve eating from the tree. But the stories will entice even the most un-believer into continuing the read to learn its conclusion. Baptism and hell are also presented in a different way than what actually takes place in churches. I feel that the author has caught the true essence of each of these things more closely to what they actually are than what is commonly practiced or preached.

It is a book well worth the time and effort to read.

6*d and backed

Offered in the Love of Christ,
Harold

I am reading through my favorite chapters in my paperback of Isles End. The first half of the book is great, but the second half is outstanding!
PTain

Hi Joe,
It is easy to understand why your book is in so many shelves. I hate to read books like this, because I don't want to stop and I don't have an easy life. I need to be awake very early tomorrow, but was reading your book and a few like your until now. It takes so much of my little time, but then it is great to read stories that makes me want more and more. Thank you for sharing the book. I will keep reading it. I am taking out of my shelf for a while to give some support to others in higher position, but I would like to back your book again whenever you get closer to the editors desk, because I believe in this book.
Cheers
Eddie

Read chapter two. This chapters helps develop your story even more.
It has thrill as well as an eerie feel about it. It pulls you into the story even more than before.
I like the idea behind this chapter, it is creative.
Your words flow really well.
Grand work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds. :)

Great opening, Narcissus! Backed!

So, Joe, I'm reading along, thinking, "Gosh, Joe, there's not much happening here. Construction project, unusual box. Kinda boring, Joe." And then the next thing I knew I was at the bottom of Chapter 3! You build tension and curiosity extremely well. This is way outside my normal realm of reading, but your storytelling is flawless.

I know I say this to everyone, but I felt your use of verbs of being removed me from the action in places. I'm a big fan of big, juicy, active verbs. But that's my preference, not an order.

Well done, Joe!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Hi J.H.F White,

I've just read chapter 2 and I really enjoyed it.

It reminds me of Anne Rice's, Songs of the Seraphim books, but only book Narcissus is a Seraphim! ha. You're writing has its own voice, of course!

The only things that stood out to me and threw me a little were:

In the first paragraph, the part 'He dropped the lid down and turned around' didn't read nicely in my head or out loud.

It feels like too many 'd' sounds to me and also, the words 'down' and 'around' might not both be needed. It gives it a bit of a rhyme which I found strange. Maybe try: He dropped the lid down and turned, straining to find the source of the voice. OR He dropped the lid shut and turned around, etc. ?

The only other point was the part in italics later on: This face was beautiful. < it confused me. Is it Harry's thoughts? It doesn't seem right to me, the use of the word 'was'. If it's Harry's thoughts at the time, then should it be present tense? eg, What a beautiful face. His face is beautiful. ?

- I might have just read it wrong, but it felt a little jarring to me, I wasn't sure if it was the narrator's voice or Harry's thoughts.

I'm looking forward to reading more. I loved the descriptions of Narcissus and the way he appeared. Also, the mixed senses of fear and wonder.

Andrew.

Hi Joe,
I just read the first 4 chapters of Isles End! The story is gripping and engages the reader quickly. I did not notice any typos or gramatical errors. There were a few places where I thought the use of first names in the conversation felt forced, as though in real life you would not say the person's name in the sentence, but I might just be sensitive to that because it was an issue with my book as well. I was surprized to find that Harry was only 29, he seemed to have too much experience, too much clout or professional reputation to be that age, and reading the characters of Butch, Ed and Harry I just assumed they were older.
I am interested to see where the story s going! I look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

Good concept and good delivery. I like your use of foreshadowing to draw in the reader and development of tension. I'll read on and give further review.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

This is very professionally written!
Your descriptions are so vivid the reader can easily see. The style is very creative.
Your pace and flow of your story is very good. It opens easy with interest to draw the readers in to your story.
I like the description of the old house and how it changed to a modern site now. There is something drawing about the way it is told.
The pitch, cover, and title are perfect.
Amazing work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Isles End; A Spiritual Thriller is simply captivating. I can't wait to read all of it. This is exactly the kind of book of book I want to take along on my next vacation trip.

Hi Joe. The book opens well enough but you set the stage almost too quickly. The build up with the new town and old house as his project for healing is steady. I would like to suggest that you leave the reason for grieving as a small mystery drawing the reader in with momentum. Those paragraphs could wait until Harry wakes up in the beginning of the third chapter as he has his “rich flavor of the fresh java”. Thoughts of the death of his fiancée and parents then fill out the stories flow chronologically and set the stage to move on to the big mystery and the realization that, indeed, his life is about to be dramatically altered forever.

But chapter two is riveting! You’ve got to read my chapter three entitled “Celestial Beings in the Game of Life”, is dead on. That’s maybe the wrong simile as these Seraphim are immortal entities, (!) but your description of an angelic being is exactly what is uncovered from ancient scriptures.

The contrast in the way you write about Harry’s reality in the real world and his mystical encounters with a spirit being enhance the merging of another dimensional existence. Its particularly effective, I think.

In chapter four the next mystery: gene spicing in the field of genetic engineering! Ok you got me hooked. Great writing, professional and crisp. Starred and booked, my kind of book. I hope you’ll take a look at my mega-drama nonfiction expose of what we are and what God is. Answers a lot of questions.
“The Celestial Proposal: Dare we Join the God-kind?”

On my Watchlist Joe. Did a quick scan and nice pace. A good read that usually sucks me in.

I'll take some time soon to really dig in. Trying to get my own on Smashwords by next week. Ugh! Who knew special formatting would throw such a wrench!?

And nice double digits there on your rate. Nice goin'!!

All the best...
~ Mia
THY KINGDOM COME

Captivating and intriguing read. Your characterisation, dialogue and narrative is well constructed transporting the reader at an easy pace. I thoroughly enjoyed your story.
Backed with pleasure.
Laurence Howard,
The Cross of Goa

Hi J.H.F White,

I've finally got around to reading the first chapter, I'm sorry it took me so long.

I really enjoyed it and found myself liking Harry and intrigued to know what's inside of the box.

The way you write is easy to picture what is going on, which is nice =]

The only parts that annoyed me a little were when you seemed to make obvious things which the readers would could pick up by themselves. For example:

But they would never be coming back. - after Harry had already thought bitterly 'When they get back!'

- I felt that it was already clear enough that they wee out of his life now and that Harry was hung up on it. I understand it may have been said for emphasis, but for me it just made me feel like I was being spoon fed a bit, ha.

I feel that you did this again when you wrote:

Except for the chest. I wonder what's in that thing. - I just feel that simply saying the first part 'Except for the chest.' shows that it's obviously playing on Harry's mind and is of intrigue to him. Because also, you say again that there is no way it's going in the dumpster without knowing what's in it.

The only other thing I found odd was the character of Butch... I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to think about him. I might have just read something wrong... but I just got mixed feelings towards Butch, but maybe that's the point =P ha

Is the voice at the end saying "Hello there!" meant to have a comical effect at all? Because I laughed, in a good way, because now before I go on to chapter 2, I'm imagining all kinds of things that could be inside of the box.
The use of the words, hello there, and the exclamation mark make me think of a leprechaun which is why I found it comical, but it could also be read in a mysterious way.

Overall, I really enjoyed it, everything read smoothly and easily for me, I didn't spot any mistakes, and I'm going to read on to find out what's in that mysterious box! ha. Also, Harry is really likable so far and I get the sense that although he's got some clients and he's starting to move on after the plan crash, he needs something more in his life and I'm excited to see what that might be!


Thanks again for reviewing my first chapter, I deeply appreciated all the comments and I've made multiple changes already.
Andrew Butcher.

Dear J.H.F. White,

I found much to enjoy by reading your tale. I love Angels myself and like that you write about them. I know it is good to wander in and out of the narrative as you do with your characters, and I appreciate your patient style of writing. After all, as Kafka says: "The only sin is impatience." I now have a better appreciation for Angels and what you can do with them. Thank you for a very entertaining story. Billy McBride

ISLES END.
By J. H. F. White.


Your book starts off with a lot of interest for the reader...A burned out Victorian Villa that used to be a beautiful place before the fire...now a charred mess of tangled up artefacts.
The M/C Harry Turner, still getting over his own loss confronts the scene as two workers he’s set on arrive.
Good description here as the three set up to work, even down to Butch’s heavy eyebrow.
I was very interested to know what was in the large trunk but you keep us hanging on with the skill of a true thriller writer.
When Harry does open it we are compelled to read the next chapter...nicely done...a real pull.
The book has a lot going for it, suspense, danger and the need to know more, it can’t get better than this.
The arrival of Reece Orchard and the sudden loss of weight in the trunk caught me off guard; I had expected it to be full of valuable things...I was very wrong.
The arrival of Narcissus in spiritual form eerily turns the story around.
Your description is vivid and makes for a powerful read.
I will be back to read more later but applaud your writing skills.
Five stars and best wishes.
Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

This is a beguilling, persuasive story. From the outset, you play with your readers, teasing us with mysterious chests that are heavy, then light, bringing a visible, tangible angel to visit an ordinary man, and giving him a moral dilemma which strikes at the core of who he is. An accomplished piece of writing - I particularly liked the doomed eggs floating on the ocean of Gehenna [and I don't know if that image is yours, or the Bible's]. Enjoyable either as a metaphor, or literally, for the human story.
One thing I felt, when you describe Harry's first nightmare of the satanic creature under the bridge, was that the words he spoke were too melodramatic to be scary. I would rather hear him say something to Harry that suggested Harry had made a dangerous choice already that could never be undone [maybe something to do with opening the box]. Very enjoyable, thank you, and highly starred - Frances.

Joe,
I've read the first two chapters so far. This is really good. I love the way you introduce Harry. I usually don't like a lot of backstory upfront, but for some reason it works in Isles End. I'm already liking him a lot. I'll be back to read more.
Highly starred.
Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Dear Joe

I have read to the end of chapter six of your spiritual thriller, "Isles End" this afternoon.

I find, after a slightly self conscious start, a story containing much to entertain: for example, the passages in chapter two where you describe the appearance of Narcissus give me real goosebumps. Wrapped around your descriptions of the mystical appearances of angels and demons, there is the more everyday story of Harry.

While you may be aiming for a contrast, I feel that your "mystical" writing is some of your strongest, and that if you can invest Harry's story with more writing of similar richness and depth, that would only make your story stronger!

This is a good, clean manuscript, which can only benefit from being given a bit more depth and flavour: take the plunge! Your best writing is deep, mystical and arresting. If you insist on maintaining a distance between Harry the lad's life and the other mystical world, you may miss opportunities to involve your reader.

One other comment re the old building that burned down in chapter one: Victorian buildings date from circa 1840 - 1901, so if the house that burned down was Victorian, it would have to be at least 111 years old. Either it is Edwardian (after 1901) or it is, say, 120 years old. Make sense?

Enjoy your writing. It is good. All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

I have read chapters 1 and 2. The plot is intriguing and fast-paced. The first chapter really draws a reader in to wanting to read further. I'm not usually one for fantasy books, but because this is strong with psychology and emotion (and a big question is if Narcissus is real or not), I find this interesting.

That being said, I have a couple of suggestions. First of all, I wonder why Harry's parents were with his lover on a trip without him. Was Harry caught up in something so he couldn't go? And why was it only three who died? A small plane? Were they the only ones on that plane? Maybe this is explained later, but right now I have many questions. Secondly, if it was a commercial plane, I do not think a lack of fuel would go unnoticed. I believe they check for gas by more than the gauge, to be safe. You might look into that. Third, there are some extra adjectives I think add nothing. For instance, "majestic nose" and "virile mouth" and "resolute jaw" are adjectives that are vague and all in one sentence. What does a majestic nose look like? "Resolute" is a term for "determined." I think a more fitting term might be "bold." "The ethereal features of the being's face were now becoming even more tangible." I feel this is unnecessary. I think it's better to just describe the now apparent features and not point out a sudden "now becoming," because this is not a really well-defined event that needs to be marked on the timeline.

These are simply suggestions. High marks! Congrats on top 100.
-Cassandra Porter

I know this has been on my shelf for a long time but theres a reason for that. I really enjoy your story. I'm just a reader so I don't have any advice to offer, but since you asked, I thought I'd tell you that I like the story and it is professionally executed. I hope you get some attention on this site to be published because I'd like to own this some day. Good luck.

I've read the first 2 chapters and can really understand how this has been shelved so many times now. No editing mistakes, as far as I can tell, and the flow is really great. I enjoy your dialogue, and the intro tidbits into Harry's tragic last year are titilating. I was a little shocked to hear him suggest he might be ready to date--I wonder how long he was with the woman who died. Seems like relatively short time period to pass before considering getting back in the field. I am curious from the LP whether Narcissus is all in Harry's imagination. Personally I hope that's the direction the story is headed, only because I really have a difficult time buying into make believe. The suspension of disbelief is too difficult for me. But with this, I'm not quite sure what is happening, and I like that. I give this 6 stars, and will certainly keep my eyes on this one. Cheers, Caitlin Avery