Book Jacket

 

rank 4170
word count 13581
date submitted 28.10.2008
date updated 10.02.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

Return, you sons of men

Colin Davy

A story of sex, murder, religion and science set in a future all too conceivable.

 

It is 2062 and the world has changed. During the American presidential election of 2012, a nuclear exchange between Israel and Pakistan escalated to leave the world irradiated and hotter. The result was high childhood mortality and an International focus on genetic research to the exclusion of all else. Damian Stear, a government official is married to Jo, an ambitious medical geneticist. Following a minor car accident, Damian is stalked by the other driver. The driver, a girl, wears blue contact lenses – the membership badge of a growing radical group – and she seems to know a lot about Damian. When the girl tries to kill Jo, but is killed instead, Damian’s life threatens to fall apart. A whirlwind of treachery begins. Deceit and murder follow before Damian finally discovers that into the future world’s flammable mix has been added the dangerous spark of potential immortality. And there one final twist to come.

 
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tags

future, love, religion, science

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11 comments

 

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NMott wrote 616 days ago

I was enjoying the pitch up to the point: "Damian’s life threatens to fall apart. ...." when it trailed off into cliched phrases which could be used to describe any thriller. It's best to end on a proper hook that sets your thriller apart from the rest. Otherwise, good.
All the best,

- NaomiM

Suzanne Adams wrote 1081 days ago

A riveting start and chilling concept - confidently written.

Angelina wrote 1291 days ago

I totally loved this. It lends from topical concerns to a very plausible future of cloned generations and the seeds of something brewing, some insurgency with a hint of Damian’s nostalgia for simplicity, clarity, of even a yesteryear maybe. I was immersed from the start, from genetics to the strange sense of fashion and the irony that ensues.

yaasehshalom wrote 1291 days ago

I really like this - chilling, but written with humour and I love the references to things that's happening now. You demonstrate what could happen very well.

yaasehshalom wrote 1291 days ago

A suggestion - you may not want to put your phone number on the manuscript, because you don't know who might be reading :)

I've read the first and second chapters and thought they were both excellent. It's a very original idea.

Hannah wrote 1302 days ago

Hi there
Not really my genre, but definitely well-written and crafted.
Good luck with it.
Hannah

andyzhunt wrote 1303 days ago

Sorry about the multiple comments! Not sure how to get rid of them now.

Sheila wrote 1304 days ago

In contrast to the first person to comment, I felt perhaps there was a bit too much information in the first chapter, but then generally I prefer to find things out very gradually - or perhaps that is because I have read too many murder mysteries in my time and like to puzzle things out for myself.
It's a very interesting scenario and I would like to see how it develops.
best wishes,
Sheila

andyzhunt wrote 1304 days ago

I really liked this opening chapter. The first paragraph was great! Population reaching 22 million! Fantastic way of introducing the scenario without being too much of an info-dump. My only slight concern was the very first sentence with 'steering' and 'Stear' - just seemed a bit clunky to me. Great to read some proper science fiction on the site.

andyzhunt wrote 1304 days ago

I really liked this opening chapter. The first paragraph was great! Population reaching 22 million! Fantastic way of introducing the scenario without being too much of an info-dump. My only slight concern was the very first sentence with 'steering' and 'Stear' - just seemed a bit clunky to me. Great to read some proper science fiction on the site.

andyzhunt wrote 1304 days ago

I really liked this opening chapter. The first paragraph was great! Population reaching 22 million! Fantastic way of introducing the scenario without being too much of an info-dump. My only slight concern was the very first sentence with 'steering' and 'Stear' - just seemed a bit clunky to me. Great to read some proper science fiction on the site.

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