Book Jacket

 

rank 3543
word count 10977
date submitted 27.03.2011
date updated 18.02.2012
genres: Fiction
classification: moderate
incomplete

Lacey's House

Jo Graham

"It began with an ending, in the darkest part of the night."

 

There is something about Lacey Carmichael. She is simple, childlike. The villagers view the old lady with suspicion. She is the mad woman who lives at the end of the lane, the woman whose father kept her locked away in the house behind the tall hedges until he died and the woman who some suspect of being a murderer.


To newcomer Rachel Moore she is something different altogether. She is kind and caring, the neighbour who helped her through a devastating loss. But Lacey is also secretive and reluctant to talk about the past.


As Rachel gets closer to Lacey she unravels a tale of longing, loss and devastation but it is a story which also makes her question where the truth really lies.

 
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tags

friendship, hope, loss, murder, mystery, new beginnings, rural, secrets, suspicion

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18 comments

 

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bunderful wrote 289 days ago

This is really beautiful. Your turns of phrase as inspired and emotive. I found myself tearing up in the second chapter. Really excellent writing here. I can't really think of anything to say to criticize. The writing was fluid and clear, the emotions were vivid. I was carried by the story, found the characters vivid and realistic. I would read more, I would definitely read the whole book.

Thanks for giving me the chance to check it out! Loved it!

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Joshua Jacobs wrote 316 days ago

As promised, I dropped by to check this out. Your writing is impressive, particularly when you're writing in the third person. I love your use of language, and you have several very effective similes at work. Your words create a vivid image in my mind.

What a compelling prologue. I don't usually like prologues, but yours had me holding my breath. You gave us just enough to be gripped by this. I'm hooked. I need to know what happened and why it happened. Did she really have a lobotomy, or did I make that up? On to chapter one. I need to know.

Once we move into chapter one, you do a good job building Rachel's character (though I don't think you ever mention her name?). With very little dialogue at all, you create a deep connection between your reader and your main character as you depict her loss. I also like that you give us updates on Lacey throughout. You very effectively switch between first and third person.

This is so polished and well-edited. It's a relief to be able to sit back and enjoy reading this without having to jot down notes. Well done!

Typically I keep track of suggestions, but I was so enthralled by your writing and story that I forgot to. The only one I came up with is to vary your paragraph and sentence starters. When writing first person, it's easy to fall into the trap of starting most sentences and paragraphs with "I." At one point, there are four paragraphs in a row that begin with "I." Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.

While this isn't my typical kind of read, this is one of the best pieces of writing I've come across on authonomy. Read it. You won't be disappointed!

aurorawatcher wrote 382 days ago

Okay, I want some more, please!!!!

Jo, this is a really terrific book! My day job is in administration at a community mental health center, so I work with mentally ill people who have had EST and your description is spot-on. It steals their memories, obliterates their childhoods, sometimes burns people they have loved right out of their heads. It's a rare writer who can tap into something like that since rarely do you meet someone who's been through it and can remember it. Good job!

I love the two time lines. I'm not quite sure how they're going to meet other than that your artist is going to move into Albert's home. It's going up on my shelf sometime this weekend. I've got to go rush off to real life right now, no more reading ot Celtic Jam at the local coffee shop. My husband and son just got our of their movie.

You've left me feeling so unfulfilled! You've GOT to finish it! Lauri

Primrose Hill wrote 388 days ago

I don't usually feel inclined to back a book after reading only the prologue and first chapter. In fact, I usually skip prologues. BUT I will make an exception today for this exceptional writing that I came across accidentally.
Your prologue is hallucinating in its power. In spite of the fact that I didn't know exactly what was going on, I was riveted, and in spite of the sadness, uplifted. This is art. You know how to build layers of suspense through the weaving of sense impressions. You have chosen the hardest of subjects, and have allowed your character to follow the natural course of grief, which flows through all of the past losses we have experienced, and the natural propensity of shocked instincts to take refuge in childhood. I look forward to reading about life in Downham Market,( a place not far from where I live and where i once went to do an arts residency.)
Starred and backed with pleasure.

B A Morton wrote 411 days ago

Jo
Read to the end of ch3. This is such a well written piece. The prologue was particularly gripping, quite unsettling but addictive nontheless. You have a unique descriptivestyle which is to be admired. Her hand, the visual fullstop, catching the words she didn't want to hear...brilliant. You set up a lot of intrigue too, with the half remembered/dream like recollections and the sense of fear and dread is quite palpable. Rated highly Jo, I wish you well with this.
Babs

L_MC wrote 11 hours ago

Jo, I stumbled across your book and I'm so glad I did. I was intrigued by the pitch.It sounds like a dark, melancholic mystery but with a tinge of hope - the pitch tells me Lacey helps Rachel through her loss.

When I first joined this site I didn't care one way or the other about prologues, but the more I read here the less I like them. So many feel unnecessary or give too much away. This one feels just right - it fills me full of horror and sympathy for the character in the prologue, who I've assumed is Lacey. That makes me feel for the little old lady, thought of, and tormented, as the mad woman.

The switching chapters, portraying a different POV (who I assume is Rachel, although she's not named) start out with so much sorrow, and again you quickly draw a picture of a troubled past, connecting your reader to your character.

Even through the switching the story flows well and is easy to get into. Your descriptions work very well. I wasn't sure if it was deliberate, but the pregnant rain clouds, compared to the woman who has just found out she's miscarried was a very raw and effective contrast. The other one that stood out for me was the string and the bow metaphor for the journey.

When I read the description Rachel gives to Dove Cottage, I'll admit to having an oh no moment. It seemed like such a romanticised view of an English village house, especially for Devon which has so many cottages built of that reddish stone or coloured pink. So, I was pleased to see her stand over the village and take note of the modern houses and the sprawl of the village, with different house styles, that made it feel more real.

One small nit-pick - Rachel avoids Cumbria because of the tourists, but then chooses Devon which is infamous for its grockles in the summer. My husband is from Devon and I've seen the massive influx of tourists and the narrow roads that become bumper-to-bumper in summer, so I wasn't completely convinced by her reasoning. However, as I said, it's a very minor point and in no way detracts from your writing.

I found this very well written, it's an interesting idea and has hooks and characters to draw me in and keep me reading. I hope you'll be adding more.

Millie J wrote 6 days ago

Jo, I came to read this after reading your comment on the forums. I have to say I don't generally like prologues or first person, but you won me over completely.
Your writing is lyrical, really beautiful and unusual - and wow, this is so polished. It reads like a published book. Really, really great job.
Millie
x

mrsdfwt wrote 286 days ago

Dear jo,
What an engrossing read.
The prologue is so intense, it prompted me to keep turning the pages, which i did. Flawless writing with such painfully heart-wrenching descriptions, as well as a vivid image of Lacey throughout her life. But this woman demands compassion, her feelings of desperation and helplessness are clearly felt by the reader. Lacey's House had me reaching for tissues and wonder as we must all do sometimes, how horrific such a life must be.
Six stars and placed in line for the shelf as soon as an opportunity arises.
Best,
Maria
Dark of the Moon

bunderful wrote 289 days ago

This is really beautiful. Your turns of phrase as inspired and emotive. I found myself tearing up in the second chapter. Really excellent writing here. I can't really think of anything to say to criticize. The writing was fluid and clear, the emotions were vivid. I was carried by the story, found the characters vivid and realistic. I would read more, I would definitely read the whole book.

Thanks for giving me the chance to check it out! Loved it!

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Joshua Jacobs wrote 316 days ago

As promised, I dropped by to check this out. Your writing is impressive, particularly when you're writing in the third person. I love your use of language, and you have several very effective similes at work. Your words create a vivid image in my mind.

What a compelling prologue. I don't usually like prologues, but yours had me holding my breath. You gave us just enough to be gripped by this. I'm hooked. I need to know what happened and why it happened. Did she really have a lobotomy, or did I make that up? On to chapter one. I need to know.

Once we move into chapter one, you do a good job building Rachel's character (though I don't think you ever mention her name?). With very little dialogue at all, you create a deep connection between your reader and your main character as you depict her loss. I also like that you give us updates on Lacey throughout. You very effectively switch between first and third person.

This is so polished and well-edited. It's a relief to be able to sit back and enjoy reading this without having to jot down notes. Well done!

Typically I keep track of suggestions, but I was so enthralled by your writing and story that I forgot to. The only one I came up with is to vary your paragraph and sentence starters. When writing first person, it's easy to fall into the trap of starting most sentences and paragraphs with "I." At one point, there are four paragraphs in a row that begin with "I." Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.

While this isn't my typical kind of read, this is one of the best pieces of writing I've come across on authonomy. Read it. You won't be disappointed!

stephen racket wrote 338 days ago

This isn't my usual read, but I was intrigued by the pitches and read the prologue and first chapter. I think you write beautifully, with clever descriptions and vivid imagery. The description of rain splattering the skylight is almost poetic in it's beauty. It's a powerful, intense beginning, a bit dark for my taste if I'm honest, but nonetheless, clearly very good. Generously starred and on my WL for further reading. Good luck with this.

Pen Power wrote 372 days ago

A sensitive subject that is handled with care, compassion and professionalism.
Tip top writing skills here.
all the best with this
Alice

Red2u wrote 381 days ago

i read through the first 3 chapters and was captivated with the story telling . For the interm I have given this one 6 stars and WlL . My plan is come back and read more. Well done.
Red

aurorawatcher wrote 382 days ago

Okay, I want some more, please!!!!

Jo, this is a really terrific book! My day job is in administration at a community mental health center, so I work with mentally ill people who have had EST and your description is spot-on. It steals their memories, obliterates their childhoods, sometimes burns people they have loved right out of their heads. It's a rare writer who can tap into something like that since rarely do you meet someone who's been through it and can remember it. Good job!

I love the two time lines. I'm not quite sure how they're going to meet other than that your artist is going to move into Albert's home. It's going up on my shelf sometime this weekend. I've got to go rush off to real life right now, no more reading ot Celtic Jam at the local coffee shop. My husband and son just got our of their movie.

You've left me feeling so unfulfilled! You've GOT to finish it! Lauri

aurorawatcher wrote 383 days ago

Interesting beginning. Very powerful! I'm putting it on my watchlist to read, which it's the weekend so I might even get to it. I saw your comment that your book appears to be invisible. It shouldn't be. This is good stuff!

Primrose Hill wrote 388 days ago

I don't usually feel inclined to back a book after reading only the prologue and first chapter. In fact, I usually skip prologues. BUT I will make an exception today for this exceptional writing that I came across accidentally.
Your prologue is hallucinating in its power. In spite of the fact that I didn't know exactly what was going on, I was riveted, and in spite of the sadness, uplifted. This is art. You know how to build layers of suspense through the weaving of sense impressions. You have chosen the hardest of subjects, and have allowed your character to follow the natural course of grief, which flows through all of the past losses we have experienced, and the natural propensity of shocked instincts to take refuge in childhood. I look forward to reading about life in Downham Market,( a place not far from where I live and where i once went to do an arts residency.)
Starred and backed with pleasure.

silvachilla wrote 389 days ago

Jo

I don't normally read literary fiction, goes way over my head, but I liked this. I think you have a poetic way with words, and best of all I found the MC sympathetic.

Highly starred

Silvachilla

katie78 wrote 395 days ago

have you thought of starting with your first chapter instead of the prologue? i feel like i get a more concrete snese of story in this chapter. your mc is immediately sympathetic and i want to know more about her and what this means to her life.
your opening lines are compelling, the "bloom of blood", and show a real artistry to your writing. these are great details-the moon past the window, the diamonds etched in the snow, the way her hand catches the useless platitudes of the doctor.
you do a really good job showing the reader how your mc is feeling without saying it directly. i enjoyed this.

F.S. wrote 396 days ago

Jo, I've read through chapter 8 and would read more of this if you posted it. I don't have any suggestions or critique for you. If I'd seen it in a store, I'd have bought it after reading just the prologue.

-F

Lucia13 wrote 401 days ago

What a pleasure it was to read all of this. These are characters who I won't be forgetting! I love the curiosity of Lacey as the old 'witch' or scary woman who the community whispers about. It reminds me of fairytales in so many ways, and I love that this enchantment is brought into your writing. It makes for quite a lovely theme and thickens an already interesting plot.
The prologue was chilling and is an example of how someone can do one correctly. It didn't give too much away, it made sense both separately as well as cohesively with the other chapters and it really drove me to want to read on. The scene with the red ball was incredibly sad and it was so well written, that I waivered between wondering if it was a genuine memory, or a hallucination.
This is so rich with description and imagery and it overflows with metaphors ripe for your themes. There are so many phrases in this piece to love. Truly, you are a writer I have respect for.
The pieces where Rachel contemplates her deceased, unborn child are heartbreaking. Immediately, I felt something for this character. She knows a loss many women have experienced, but you show us the broken bones underneath the skin, so to speak. You allow her heart to tell the reader how the pain haunts her soul. It's very sad, but you've done the experience justice.
Lacey's quite a character. We already have such a mysterious view on her life, what she's been through, and now with the murder charges looming, there is much to want to know about her. I look forward to seeing how this resolves. If you upload more chapters, please let me know. I really enjoyed this!
Lucia

B A Morton wrote 411 days ago

Jo
Read to the end of ch3. This is such a well written piece. The prologue was particularly gripping, quite unsettling but addictive nontheless. You have a unique descriptivestyle which is to be admired. Her hand, the visual fullstop, catching the words she didn't want to hear...brilliant. You set up a lot of intrigue too, with the half remembered/dream like recollections and the sense of fear and dread is quite palpable. Rated highly Jo, I wish you well with this.
Babs

hikey wrote 420 days ago

Lacey's House.

The prologue pulls the reader into the story which is compelling, well written and has an excellent and undeniable style. The writing is powerful and descriptive and has a richness and sincerity that few writers can emulate.

Jane

Old Bob wrote 422 days ago

Hi Jo. This is an incredibly intense story so far (just got through the prologue). It's well written and well told with a strong voice. Character development is very strong for this early in the story.

The prologue is almost entirely narrative. That's not unusual for a prologue, but it's almost entirely written in passive voice. With such a strong beginning, I would have thought you'd really want to punch it out with some very active language. That's just me speaking, but the story would scream off the page of you used more active language.

It looks like you know where you're going and I think you have a very, very good start here.

Good luck with your book,

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

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