Rotten Rotty

Really loving this, its really quirky and different. I found it so adorable when the dog says " my girl". Wonderfully written I can imagine this with colourful illustrations. Highly starred.

interesting idea for a book, i think its got a unique take on it-told through the dogs eyes
heartwarming, would definitely appeal to children and some adults!

Read the first two chapters, and very much enjoyed seeing a household through a dog's eyes. The way she was all embarassed when she threw up on her owner was very cute. And there's a pig! I think a lot of children, particularly kids with dogs, would really like this book. You seem to walk the tightrope of not making the writing too complicated but keeping it fun to read.

The first paragraph has a lot of 'I did this or I did that'. What about:-
I saw my girl walk in the room and fell in locve with her immediately. She was here just for me! As she approached, I wagged my stump and jumped up, pawing her leg excitedly. She reached down and picked up...MY BROTHER

It is a lovely story and draws the reader in. I will read some more soon.

pitch is good, but should read one of the humans has special needs, rather than is special needs.
First chapter, made MONKEY, the rotweiller puppy sounds cute - and I'm not too keen on dogs. But think I will like reading about this one.
Chapter two - For a dog to say five puppies attached to her stomach sounds wrong - too prudish for a dog. Belly would sound better, or suckling five puppies.

Tom? The main character is a dog...

Hello Heather'
book- Rotton Rotty-

read this delightful book of yours over the week end; and really enjoyed this humorous adventure.
It's an unique approach and you have got you mind around the idea of seeing life from a cat's perspective
so very well. In fact i was in the cat's brain myself after awhile.
it's a brilliant read for children adn pet lovers alike,and will or should do very well in this target market;
wish you well with it Heaather.
good luck
tom bye
from hugs to kisses'
oblige and read chapter 2 in mine, cats galore here!!

Hi Heather, You've captured a good dog personality for your main character. You might bring out the girl more when she's in the story - if you could call her by name. I really enjoyed the scenes with the animals and their interactions. Shelved - Katherine

I think the concept is a good one, and I think also that as a complete short story it is too long and as an actual novella it is too short. I like the characters of Lulu and Monkey in fact all of the characters even Yoo Hoo and the three birds are interesting, it strikes me there was a great opportunity for a continued and more in depth interaction between the birds and the rest of the household where comedy could have been developed that was missed. I do not think the title does justice to Monkey at all, who is not a Rotten Rotty but actually a very loving and caring character. Having had German shepherds all my life, I know a dog if shown love gives love and although you claim this to be a children's to young adults book, I feel the comedy could be more developed, and the moral of the tale could be expanded, but all in all I really liked the concept and I would like to see it either cleaned up into a fast paced an witty short or expanded into a 40 to 50,000 word piece. There is endless fun to be had with the three birds in the cage, please note Disneys Dumbo with the three crows who "had seen many things in their life, they had seen a dragonfly, they had even seen a horsefly but they had never seen an elephant fly," and as a 20 week old puppy you have given too much adult capacity to your lead character. If you were to develop this so the dog is at least 12 months old and not 20 weeks it would be even more believable for the average preteen. I would love to see this developed at 20-25,000 words in script form it is a movie that would have legs. But I am going to shelve it anyway because I like feel good happy endings.

Rotten Rotty.
By Heather Gilliland.

Pleased to update an earlier comment six months ago.
I was really amazed by the way you have written this story...it must become a children’s favorite I’m sure.
Told straight from the dogs POV it’s bound to capture every child’s imagination.
I did read this book some time ago now and so did my Granddaughter, Abby, at the time.
I remember it well.
I asked my 8 yrs old Granddaughter to take another look at it only today...she loved it and remembered it...She’s a year older now. Kids don’t lie as you well know.
She’s read other animal stories on this site but loves dogs and your story ‘Rotten Rotty’ captured her. You have a great way of writing for children and can be proud of what you’ve produced here.
Excellent description throughout the book makes it a sure thing.
The characterization of the different dogs is great!!
It’s pretty obvious that you are a dog lover. Your description of their antics could not be possible without first-hand knowledge of their habits.
Please carry on...we need more books like this in the book shops!
Pleased to highly ‘star rate’ your book and to shelve it on behalf of Abby and myself.
Well done Heather and good luck with this!!

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE.

Rotten Rotty. Heather - I will read on from where I left off months ago.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.6. Would it be less cumbersom if you just said 'our training sessions'?
I'm finding it difficult to keep track of all those names. Do you have to have so many, I wonder.
Perhaps you need a comma after the word purpose: 'I think he may be your purpose, Monkey.'
What a wonderful enchanting theme you have here.
But if you left out 'of the moms and dads friends' nobody would notice.

Ch.7. Might it read better if you said something like: 'Every Saturday for the next few weeks, I went to visit the sad man in hospital.
Try to avoid repeating words like visit, still, time / s.

Ch.8. What a lovely idea. I wonder why you dont end the story here.

Ch.9. I'm not sure this works. Wouldnt it be better to incorporate the theme of finding a purpose into the end of Ch.8., with Monkey looking forward to finding another purpose for herself?

But it's your story, and a lovely one, too.
Once you've ironed out the nits, I'm sure you'll find a buyer for it.

Jane. (Breath of Africa)

Happy to reback this fun YA book.
Best,
John

This is a cute story. I think we've all wondered what goes through the minds of our pets (or maybe that's just me?).

There are a few punctuation issues, particularly with dialogue. Remember to always put the punctuation inside the the quotation. Also, capitalize the first word in a quote, even if it's not the first word in the sentence.

Other than that, I love "Monkey's" character. You've established a believable, humorous voice, and I'm sure kids will eat this book up. I'll be reading a bit more to see where the plot is going, but based off of the pitch, I think you've got a great story on your hands. Good work!

Heather,
First off, I'll have to admit my bias as I've had dogs all my life and I'm down to one Jack Russell named Holly just as ebulient and indefatigable as your Rotten Rotty. I also have a tabby cat adopted as a stray, and had a cockatoo whom my wife gave away after it picked half of the keys off her laptop to top off a series of other events. With that off my chest, I must say that following your narrative through a dog's POV was a titillating experience. The lesson learned is when things are down, go look at life through a dog's eyes. That should liven things up a bit. Your prose is clear and uncluttered, your pace bouncy. Thanks for the entertaining read. You made my day.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Thanks to everyone for thier continuing support!

This is super cute, and funny. I think this is something children and teens will love. Kids have awesome connections to their pets growing up, they are their best friends, their partners in adventure and you brought that to life. I smiled throughout this and as a reader, I'm so glad I had a chance to read this.

Good luck!
Missy

Read Chapter 1:
Funny. Pieces like:
-- I reared up, pawing her leg, she leaned down and picked up...MY BROTHER!?!? She nuzzled his head, and gently eased him onto his back. "Oh no!' she cried, "this one is a boy!"

-- "My girl named me Monkey,” I said, hoping I was talking to his face and not his butt. After all, I couldn't see his eyes or mouth.

-- As he showed me around, I asked "what kind of dog are you?" We stopped at an open door and he replied "I'm a Shih-Tzu."

-- Tadpole chuckled and said, "well, just call me a Shee-Zoo, most of the humans do."

They are funny. Anyway, much of animal stuff that they exchange are gems. Interesting.

A lovely story for children told from an animals perspective. Animals certainly bring a lot of pleasure to family life and in this story the happiness has been extended to others.The sad man has been transformed and so this story has a happy end. Backed, Regards, Anne

Hi,
This sounds adorable - will add to my watchlist. Meanwhile, for your reading pleasure...

If Carl Hiaasen and The Office had a baby, it might look something like ANIMAL CRACKER.

Can a bunch of smart, sassy women get the goods on their boss at Boston’s venerable Animal Protection Agency? Hal Mason is Brad-Pitt handsome, with a Harvard professor wife and an adorable but shiftless son who wins the heart of Diane Salvi, the organization’s new communications director and the book’s narrator.

The malapropping, narcissistic Hal, famous for his animal-themed ties and jokes, has managed to earn the adulation of the organization’s board of directors and the scorn of his staff. When his negligence leads to the dogshit literally hitting the fan, Diane and her reporter roommate Genie set out to dig up some dirt on him, with a little help from friends in the office.

There's never a bad time for a fun read in which the good guys (or gals) wreak vengeance on a conniving boss who deserves no less.

Thanks for considering ANIMAL CRACKER.

Best,
Andi

I like the way this story is told. I know my children would both enjoy and learn from this dog's eye view of the world. Best of luck withit.

On Chapter 3, so far it is a visually fun story. Found minor punctuation errors but nothing to be concerned about.
I noticed that there are commas outside of quotation marks with quotes that have exclamations. I am not use to this so I could be wrong, but I believe the rule for this is that you can keep the exclamation mark but just delete the comma. The following word will remain in lowercase.
-Milkshake chuckled "oh I remember..."
I believe you want to add a comma after chuckled.

I love this story. It really hits home with what your dog could be thinking. I am curious as to where it goes. I have starred it and have recommended it to many fellow dogs lovers. I hope you continue to write more stories like this. Thank you!

Dear Heather,

Many thanks for backing "The Doctor of Summitville" and for calling my attention to your novel. I've already read the first chapter. It's delightful and should do well with clever illustrations.

You might like a short story I wrote from a dog's point of view, called "Puppy Love." It won first prize in a local contest. Read it as Chapter 30 in "Annabella and Other Stories," one of my books shown here.

I'll get back to you after reading some more of "Rotten Rotty."

Best of luck, Bill

The writing is excellent. A suggestion is to let the MC (dog) view himself in a mirror of glass door and describe the reflection for readers. Backed. Chuck

His reactions were delightful. This was so sweet and fun, it completely warmed my heart. I just finished chapter one and rated it well and wanted to give you a point boost if for no other reason than for the smile on my face. His descriptions and reactions to meeting other animals were fun as well and made for good reading. I like the concept and look forward to seeing how how else the world you've created is explored through the eyes of a dog.

'Rotten Rotty' is a feelgood warmhearted tale with some engaging story threads. I liked the hospital visit chapters best. I am sure this will be popular on the site. My own view , for what it's worth to you, is that the dog characters sound and react to each other in too human a way and more behaviour based on pack heirarchy, dominance/submission and a love of physical exercise might be worth exploring.

Hi Heather,

I read through to end of Chater 3. I really liked what I read, and think this is well targetted at a younger age group. The opening with the selection of a dog, the new young master and the unfolding events through the puppy's eyes is an interesting take. It leads the reader into a perspective that offers many opportunities for exploring the dog world and the human. I liked the other animals and Monkey's reactions. And his interactions with the humans especially Rosie were appropriate and likeable. The story has a warm feel about it which is engaging. The introduction of Sam and that of Lulu as an Assistance Pig of sorts added a dimension that has good prospect for more insights. The dialogue was sound and appropriate I thought for the characters. The fact that the dogs can understand other animals and humans (something they really should be quite proud of) is of course a necessary for the story to exist - but I didn't find it odd. I liked the fact that the dogs, even though mature like Tadpole still need little coaxing to break into play or a rough and tumble. I have been told that domestic dogs are like perpetual children and your story bears this out. I think too there is a place for doggie instruction for humans in your book, and children will learn about animals and hopefully respect them more.

The other day I was out at the markets with a friend of mine. I was minding his dog, a Kelpie called Jack about 3 years old (I was there when he was selcted from a breeder). We were in a crowd about the vegetable stand, and chancing to look over my shoulder saw a little boy about four or five about to pull the dogs tail, with his grinning father standing behind him. Now even a well behaved good natured dog like Jack will react if his tail is pulled, perhaps unpredictably. I turned and said to the boy and his father `Don't do that." They wandered off. The point is too that Jack is sensitive about his tail, having lost part of it in a car accident (though it still looks good).

Suffice to say I identified with your book, Heather. I'd agree with the formatting comments of jbwye below, but apart form that I think it is a book to be printed. I have ranked it and will put it on my bookshelf as soon as I can.

All the best Brian

Rotten Rotty.
Heather - Ch.1. first you need to eliminate the exclamation marks in your story. You make me know just how the little puppy feels - but those excessive punctuation marks are an unnecessary annoyance. Try it, and see what difference it makes!(!) Also, remove the Caps to those words - they emphasise themselves.
No need to repeat meanings: "she put him down" is sufficient.
Dialogue should have separate paragraphs. It breaks up the page for the reader, as well as being easier to follow.
I can just imagine the little thing wriggling and peeing and throwing up in ecstasy ... You have a way with words.
You paint a vivid picture of Monkey investigating her new home, and I enjoy your doggy humour.

Ch.2. Do you mean mould?
We meet more of the miscellaneous family, and enjoy further humour, while the plot makes us want to read on.

Ch.3. The party, and more frolics. Children (and parents) will love this story, full of lessons to learn in a nice way.

Ch.4. I love your philosophy, 'your purpose will find you'. So true. And the birds 'jumping around in a feathered frenzy'. making Rotty dizzy. I can see them clearly. I wonder which name will eventually stick.

Ch.5. Smelling the sadness in a room is a novel turn of phrase, but again, very apt. And Rotty has her new doggy door.

I enjoy your story, which to my mind should appeal to its young audience. Once you have ironed out the punctuation wrinkles, and perhaps added some amusing drawings, you should have no problem finding a publisher.
Best of luck with this.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

Dear Heather,
This is a story that dog-lovers will love! I think it will also be a perfect book to introduce children to the concept of service dogs and the people they help. I have given it high stars and I will keep it on my watchlist and back it when I have room!
Good luck with finding a publisher.
Valerie

Rotten Rotty is an incredibly touching story told from the point of view of a Rottweiler puppy. If you’ve ever wanted to know what your animals are thinking, then Rotten Rotty will give you some idea. Author Heather Gilliland takes us into the impossible mind of a common house dog as she comes to live in a home filled with many other animals. But the truly touching part of the story (of what is posted so far) comes when the dog begins to visit the hospital as a service animal. She then returns home and tells the other animals what it’s like, a part I particularly loved. Their response is rather humorous, but the work the dog is doing will really pull at your heart strings, based on the innocence of the dog and the reader’s understanding of what is really going on.

The book is tagged as young adult, but I can see a lot of fully adult readers really enjoying it. The true genius of Rotten Rotty is that it can be enjoyed on many levels. Adults will appreciate the storyline and what is really going on, but can also read the book to their children who will likely take a more literal view of the story.

There are a lot of books told from the point of view of an animal, but Rotten Rotty is among some of the best I’ve come across. I really hope to find out what happens to our hero dog as her adventures continue.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Yoo Hoo!!!!!!! I love it Heather. I see a few errors, grammatical errors, time lines and Chapter Nine. I am excited to share this story with my grandchildren. Pattij :)

In chapter 9, you switch from Monkey giving the narrative to Yoo-Hoo. There needs to be some way of acknowledging this. Either from the chapter title, or with something like "Yoo-Hoo, tail wagging, thinks..." Just a thought.

I love the story! I know that anyone who reads it will enjoy it. Does need a little fine tuning in grammer, but isn't that what editors are for? Keep writing!

Dear Heather,
I remember as if were yesterday going to the puppy farm to pick out our Rotty--there were bins of these darling, wiggling, black and tan puppies, and we after much hesitation picked out Banshee. We named her Banshee because she howled like one for two nights, but she grew into her giant paws, and became the love of our life for many years. Your story is adorable. I did wonder how she knew what the smell belonged to. You could probably fix that by telling how she was orientated to sounds and smells at the kennel (they do that).

Also, buy Strunk and White's Elements of Style and study it--it has all those basic grammar rules, i.e. apostrophes, commas, a new paragraph for all the new speakers. You have the story telling part down pat, now you just need to learn the rules. Best of luck. A lot of Rotty lovers would wolf up this book.
Caroline
Summer Rose

Hi Heather,

I've read stories written from a dog's point of view before, but this is one of the most amusing though, unfortunately, time restraints prevent me from reading more than the the first two chapters.

There are some tec hnical issues. The major one being that you have a number of paragraphs containing more than one person's speech. Whenever there is a change of speaker you need a new paragraph.

Secondly, it's probably just a typo, but in the sentence 'jiggling it's fat', the apostrophe here isn't needed.

The story is wortyh spending some time in correcting these issues.

Ron

This is the cutest story. I've only read the first chapter. Going to wait 'til the kids get home from school to read more with them.

I'll leave a more detailed comment then. Backed ;)

Thisbook is easy to read and has a great flow. Other than the occasional punctuation error, it is as polished as can be. I can see this on a bookshelf, and I think it will appeal to adults and children alike. Great job! Starred!

Thisbook is easy to read and has a great flow. Other than the occasional punctuation error, it is as polished as can be. I can see this on a bookshelf, and I think it will appeal to adults and children alike. Great job! Starred!

So cute! This book will definitely be a charmer for children and anyone who picks up your book!
Starred and watched. Will back soon as I free up a space!

I loved your story! What a great voice that little doggie has! What prose! A funny and deeply Human/Doggie version, but what fun! And lets not forget LULU!
What a wonderful story! What great characters! Lets see, who's going to play Monkey in the movie?
Charmed by all of it. Six doggie stars, and placed in line for the shelf.
Maria
:)

"Seriously, Froggy, I can't tell which end is up on you." I chuckled out loud here.
I'll stop back soon for more. Very nice.
John B Campbell

I very much enjoyed your story Heather! Backed and starred!
Dee x

I had time for a quick read and enjoyed chapter one so far. I like this. Enjoyed the voice. It's a feel-good kind of book, well, so far, I see in M A's comment that there's more to this, as any good story needs. You have a great start here. I'll come back for more.
Cheers!
John B Campbell

First let me say that I loved your story - a happy little story that comes along with feeling, not always happy. My eyes are wet. I liked The Sad Man, and I liked the resolution, and the new start with Yoohoo in the final chapter.

Technical issues: I think you need more indication of how much time is passing in those first chapters. It was chapter 7 before you slipped in a mention of a few weeks passing.
Conventions: Each piece of dialogue should be a new paragraph, and each piece of dialogue should start with a capital, eg, 'Well, just call me a shee-zoo.' There were also problems with punctuation, and some typos. You need someone who's a bit pedantic about rules to go through this, and make it perfect. Just make sure that person doesn't make any significant changes because it really is a charming story.
To be backed and recommended. Marj.
PS Your Rottweiler was docked? I thought that was illegal these days.