Sierra - Elemental Warrior

What a beautifully written book! I got immersed into the story from the very first line - your manner of writing is admirable - the Prologue, Chapter 1. I wish I had Elemental Warrior on my real shelf so I could read and enjoy it properly. I give you all stars I have, unfortunately, only six. Well done! Good luck to you with the book.

Ivan Amberlake
The Beholder

Very good first chapter- it gets the reader's attention and good hooks at the end of chapters to keep the reader wanting to keep reading. Liked the switch in perspective between the main characters. There are some editorial issues to address- some of which are- Chapter 6- "Damien looked to Kari, hoping to see some indication that she didn't believe what the Demon, Capri, (said?) but she would not meet his gaze." Chapter 8- "We didn't know until after your (you?) taught us how to pull a soul into a body." Chapter 9-..., he (his?) voice was deep and backed by a growl." and "...the woman's wolf mouth where (were?) spurted onto Damien's face," and "...heard the blood curdling scream of a man which was cut of (off?) almost immediately. Chapter 10- "...but she kept her eyes firmly trained on he (the?) small flame,..." and "... against the background of the solar systems (need apostrophe) sun." and ..."joints she hadn't ever felt before and. Large, warm hands...(strange period)" Chapter 11- "Callias, your brothers ('?) wits are dulling with age..." Are you aware that chapter 12 is another version of chapter 11? Chapter 13- "...discarding it carelessly on the floor were is (his?) man servant,..." and "she darted from here to there, in no particular pattern, trying to fin a trace of Damien('?)s scent." Chapter 15- "...but Demitre did not think it Damiens ('?) fault he did not recognize the true nature of the being's (no apostrophe needed) he met" Chapter 20-"...and Kari smiled victoriously as he (she?) approached Death." Chapter 21- "...if I could have saved your (you?)before Ellua killed you I would have..." and "Well now we have that sorted we can focus on the mortal danger out (our?) current lives are in." Chapter 27- "Kari had an inkling she knew who he (the?) girl was..." and "We just wanted to live, to breathe, to fell (feel?) the sun." Overall enjoyed the story- 5 stars. Hope this is helpful. Desi.

Thanks so much for your keen eye, you have given me lots to think about and I really appreciate your comments, especially considering how good your own book, Strata, is.

This is an interesting premise for a book although I'm not sure starting off in a dream is quite right. Your writing flows smoothly with good imagery, a couple of punctuation errors 'Isabels endless cheer' Isabel's missing an apostrophe also I think you're missing a word somewhere 'in a pool his life blood...perhaps of his life blood. If possible, try not to start so many sentences with 'She', as this detracts from the lovely lyrical style, making the sentences seem abrupt to me which reminds me that perhaps you could lengthen your paragraphs, also to avoid breaking up the flow of the narrative. I'd have a liked a bit more explanation of the world you've created as some of the terms used are unusual-for instance the remote borders, the sea and rainforest are particularly striking and unusual as are the twin moons. This is all based on chapter one, the most important of all when submitting to an agent or publisher, so no doubt this will be revealed as I read further. You have a good style, easy to read and I look forward to hearing how you get on. I've put you on my WL for now as I like to give everyone a fair spin on my shelf. Good luck! Katherine Strata

Thanks so much for your keen eye, you have given me lots to think about and I really appreciate your comments, especially considering how good your own book, Strata, is.

This is an interesting premise for a book although I'm not sure starting off in a dream is quite right. Your writing flows smoothly with good imagery, a couple of punctuation errors 'Isabels endless cheer' Isabel's missing an apostrophe also I think you're missing a word somewhere 'in a pool his life blood...perhaps of his life blood. If possible, try not to start so many sentences with 'She', as this detracts from the lovely lyrical style, making the sentences seem abrupt to me which reminds me that perhaps you could lengthen your paragraphs, also to avoid breaking up the flow of the narrative. I'd have a liked a bit more explanation of the world you've created as some of the terms used are unusual-for instance the remote borders, the sea and rainforest are particularly striking and unusual as are the twin moons. This is all based on chapter one, the most important of all when submitting to an agent or publisher, so no doubt this will be revealed as I read further. You have a good style, easy to read and I look forward to hearing how you get on. I've put you on my WL for now as I like to give everyone a fair spin on my shelf. Good luck! Katherine Strata

This is an interesting premise for a book although I'm not sure starting off in a dream is quite right. Your writing flows smoothly with good imagery, a couple of punctuation errors 'Isabels endless cheer' Isabel's missing an apostrophe also I think you're missing a word somewhere 'in a pool his life blood...perhaps of his life blood. If possible, try not to start so many sentences with 'She', as this detracts from the lovely lyrical style, making the sentences seem abrupt to me which reminds me that perhaps you could lengthen your paragraphs, also to avoid breaking up the flow of the narrative. I'd have a liked a bit more explanation of the world you've created as some of the terms used are unusual-for instance the remote borders, the sea and rainforest are particularly striking and unusual as are the twin moons. This is all based on chapter one, the most important of all when submitting to an agent or publisher, so no doubt this will be revealed as I read further. You have a good style, easy to read and I look forward to hearing how you get on. I've put you on my WL for now as I like to give everyone a fair spin on my shelf. Good luck! Katherine Strata

Caitlyn-

Warriors have always been considered a great paradox

I admit this book has a very strong inquiry about life, its purpose and where it leads us. The nightmres and dark fears are always part of human nature. Every angle of this book is full of psychological substance that would encourage the reader to keep reading and dig out the mystery that covers it. The opening scene beautifully draws a stable foundation of the book’s aim and the way the author describes the introduction really leaves a good picture that symbolizes the nature of contradictions in life. Good intentions. Characters like Kali, are manipulated well together with great dialogues. The plot is weaved together with the substantial thematic emphasis. I believed that your book just deserves the praise and the claps.
What I like about Authonomy is that it allows writers, of all abilities, to share their work with other keen writers and readers, work that might not otherwise become published—and not necessarily for any reasons related to literary merit. I have backed your book since I felt that your efforts deserve my backing.
Best of luck with your writing.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Hi Red,
Thanks so much for taking the time to have a look at my book. I will definitely take what you said about not having the dream at the beginning of the book under consideration. There is so much that you don't notice when you are the all knowing author of a story. The entire writing process has been a learning curve on top of full time work and two teenage step kids so your observations and knowledge are warmly welcomed.
I had a read of your book, Comforting Illusions, as well and I was immediately drawn in, so you have done well with capturing the reader.
I will read some more and return the favour of a comment.
Kind Regards,
Caitlyn

Hi Caitlyn and welcome to Authonomy. I was immediately drawn in by the prologue, Wow. I am sure you will be bombarded with people's comments. This is strictly from a novice's view point but i am sure someone will mention not to start the book in a dream. Personnally i love it but am not qualified to critique. I myself changed my story and put the nightmare in the middle. I have rated and put it on my WL. Anyhow i believe this is a winner and wish you the best of luck!
Regards, Red

Hi Caitlyn and welcome to Authonomy. I was immediately drawn in by the prologue, Wow. I am sure you will be bombarded with people's comments. This is strictly from a novice's view point but i am sure someone will mention not to start the book in a dream. Personnally i love it but am not qualified to critique. I myself changed my story and put the nightmare in the middle. I have rated and put it on my WL. Anyhow i believe this is a winner and wish you the best of luck!
Regards, Red