The Broken Shoe

Zhiling - I read the opening paragraph and then had to stop until I had time knowing this was a read I would enjoy. I've not been let down. I've no literary training nor ever published but the subject matter is one that fascinates me.

Opening is superb. Simpe date and skinny man on a skinny thorse. You then throw the reader into the subject matter - I'll divide my comments between my views and what I suspect how many wei gwoh ren will read this. I found it so familiar, with the traditions, the family links, and the details of the kang and the roof tops. Behind that the emotions sit more lightly, to be interpreted by the reader, and for those who can picture the place, this was not an easy existence; a place wehere emotions were always controlled. The extra details were excellently laid out, with the superstitions, the endless family links across cousins,and the wonderful play on Chinese nicknames. Loved it all.

For many foreigners less familiar this may be a slight overkill with all the characters. You'll inevitably be compared to white swans or joy luck club, and in both the focus was prehaps more on a few people early on and built from there - you've a lot of family in that opening. This opening may need just a little editing for a western reader. It's a small point but the only suggestion I have for improving this wonderful read still further.

Chapter 2 and humour!. The job titles are always longer it seems for the more menial tasks - Mao was simply Chairman. Forget the 188 cm for your grandfather - distraction and I'm not even sure - its short I guess so stay with that. You then repeat Uncle Wangs job about passing messages - perhaps combine that with paragraph one. Then wonderful - Mao's receipt of Mangoes - he made a meal out of that in many ways, as you go on to explain. I loved the arguments about two pieces of fruit - believe one was displayed for days in a factory - I've also read Li Zhisui.

This is going to be key here for the western reader. People need to empathise with the difficulties of your upbringing, even if they cannot relate to it. They also need to see the madness of China during this period - if you can occassionally show some logic within all that, you've written a best seller.

Chapter 3 and it's back to your personal family life with the backdrop of Communism encroaching into your life. Those personal touches, with the lollipos and the tree and the hook for the western reader, that keep them attached to your story. That link to their own life experiences will help them start to understand the political madness that am sure you will reveal. The simple details of daily life, especially the toilets are ones that you pitch superbly.

Now the characters around you are being introduced more slowly, each building at his own pace. Your parents are key and let us know more about them. The difference in being a father in a Chinese family and a western one are large, but more so during these times.

The politics I would reread more carefully. The naming of factions and the differences between Lin Biaos left and others trying to be even more left wing are unclear to many people today. I do feel you need to explain that more slowly.

But this is for me a superb read. I've no issues with typos not any real suggestions for grammatical changes. I truly wish you every best with this book. If HC should grab any true life this is it. Best. Steve.

Dear Zhiling,
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to finally comment on your wonderful story. It is truly a beautiful piece. I was immediately drawn in by the family members, with all their spunk, depth, and heart. One would think it could be confusing to keep track of so many interesting characters (Golden Lotus Grandma, Third Monkey, Swallow. Hairy Lu, Ugly Big Gooted Aunt... and on and on!), but your attention to them adds only a lovely richness to the story. You have effortlessly woven the cultural traditions throughout the book (ie feet binding, god name book, etc) with such ease, leaving the reader with a deeper understanding. Your touches of humor (ie pig's fart, etc.) allow the reader necessary times of "lightness," in an otherwise heavy-hearted time period. The heartwrenching choices of the time, such as "throwing baby girls out to the fields" evoke intense emotion and genuinely touch the reader. You have an amazing story here.... sincerely worthy of publication. I know I would buy it! Highly starred and on my WL. Hopefully giving it some shelf time soon.
All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now to Him

LF40 Review.

Hi Zhiling,

I have lived in China for sometime now, so I approached your book with great interest. I was not disappointed.

From the three chapters I have read, I have to say that this is a great read. Your style of writing reminded me of 'Dream of Ding Village' by Yan Lianke, a great author and a very compelling piece of work. I found myself pulled into your story from the off and only stopped due to work commitments. I can easily see this is a book I could sit down and read in one sitting.

You have a great voice here and your story flows along nicely. 'The Broken Shoe' also has some of the best chapter titles I have seen in a long time.

The one thing I like the most about your writing is your use of humour. There were several times during reading where I laughed out loud. The first being comparing Golden Lotus Grandma's feet to Dolly Parton's bosom. As for the word 'Aiya', I know too well how often it is used to express emotion or frustration - even I use it now!

There were some fantastic lines that I loved. My favourites being: 'They said that her sharp cheek bones cut her husband's surviving luck into pieces' and ' I ran in and out of my Grandma's house like a cat and I barked like a dog'. Wonderful stuff.

I intend to go back to this as soon as I can and read more and will find a space on my shelf for you asap.

A great read so far and am sure it will only get better.

Cheers and all the best,

Simon,
Yuko Zen Is Somewhere Else.

What opening of the story does best is embody its region and time frame by use of layered superstitions, fun characters who are fearful of a temperamental fate, and the focus on unusual details. The scene recollecting the baby-death is probably the strongest, as there is tension and the reader is genuinely interested in what the character's reactions will be. I also liked Third Monkey, mostly because of the intro paragraph defining his physicality–it worked really well to convey his character.

I read the entire open, but there is a point where I stop critiquing because of a logical gap that needs to be addressed before moving on. The story is told from the first person perspective, essentially without using the word 'I.' The framework isn't clear, and the active telling implies that the first-person character is hanging around somewhere observing all of this. Of course, it's revealed this isn't possible as this is the first-person's birth. Details that no one but an omniscient would know are utilized. There is no one character who follows all of these events, so this is something pieced together in retrospect. The elements of that retrospective framework need to be identified. Even explicit exposition would work. The reason the character knows the particulars of this day needs to be explicated for logical consistency.
I did enjoy the story and would read more.


Here are some structural observations:

[on the 3rd of November 1959],
This information works better within the chapter heading. The opening sentence is more natural without it.

[Right after lunch, a…right into Grandma’s courtyard.]
Solid visual.

[In my grandmother’s village, people explain an urgent situation as ‘the baby’s head is nearly out’. In this instance, it was literally true.]
It isn't an explanation, as nothing is being explained–it's a colloquialism. 'People express' may work, and '...the expression for an urgent situation' is clearer still. Whatever the preference, it should be reworded as it doesn't sound like you're saying what you mean here.

[Grandma jumped off her warm bed]
'Warm' is an assumption, as the character is not the grandmother, and the grandmother could in fact be cold.

[Grandma had bound feet which were regarded by the men and women in her village as the most beautiful and perfect three-inch-golden-lotus feet. We sometimes called her Golden Lotus Grandma.]
I like this detail. The outsider will cringe at the notion of bound feet, but the psychological attachment to a particular aesthetic is something any reader can relate to–like torturing oneself to be thin.

[was in Inner Mongolia.]
Repetitive sound with 'in inner.' Within, in the heart of, in central... there are lots of choices.

[In winter the Siberian wind crept in]
You're using the word 'in' a lot in succession. This one can be replaced with 'during.'

[Grandma’s house was made of adobe bricks. It had a flat roof, like all the others in our village.]
Combine for flow. 'Grandma lived in a flat roofed, adobe brick house like...'

[In summer we dried our crops on the roof top. But now the snow had come early, and all the village boys were climbing up wooden ladders to brush it off the roofs.]
Repetition of the word 'roof.' Change the passive 'were climbing' to climbed.

[Out in the courtyard all of my cousins were rolling snow balls.]
Change the passive 'were rolling' to rolled. The character seems to be describing something they're seeing at the moment. The early mention of a year is the only thing to indicate the scene is retrospective, so an active telling works well.

[my mother’s sister Swallow’s husband.]
Strange tongue twister. The characters Aunt whose name is Swallow?

[His actual name ... him this nick-name.]
This is great characterization for this person.

[My cousins raced out of the gate as fast as they could to find Third Monkey, while my grandfather’s oldest brother, Hairy Lu, the nosy one, as Grandma called him, walked over energetically and all my great aunts who lived in the same courtyard, came out to see what the commotion was.]
There are a lot of celebrating, exposition heavy sentences with characters introduced in rapid succession. The best way to alleviate this, and to supply a situation in which all characters are memorable, is to open with a conflict heavy scene between just a few characters. Then gradually introduce the others as they're relevant to the conflict. This scene may be integral to your story, but it's information heavy.

[She had heard Third Monkey’s cough at the gate and hurried towards him.]
Passive. Had heard = heard.

[order to summon him]
Summons.

[my mother’s sister]
Aunt. This wording may obfuscate relationships.

[Superstition had it that if my mother gave birth to her baby at her parents’ house or even in their village my uncle wouldn’t get promoted.]
This doesn't seem like a very widespread superstition. This superstition belongs to a character. 'Grandma was superstitious that...'

[ The Wang’s had offered us their storeroom.’ ]
Cut 'had.'

[Sitting on the train … too quickly,’ she said.]
This section seems to have more of a tense conflict than the main story. Consider opening with the section regarding the baby's death.

[When the train stopped, Father helped Mother to get off the train and they walked along the platform. Father approached a horse-drawn-cart which was going in the direction of Grandma’s village.]
It's unclear that the first person character is present in these scenes. It seems like a nearly omniscient telling of events at points. The character doesn't need an overwhelming presence, as downplaying them works well–but establishing that they are present is necessary.

[The old horseman gave his old horse a slap on the backside and trotted away to the village.]
I don't know why, but I like this sentence. While there are a few wording issues, you do embody the feeling you're going for in many places.

[Father and Third Monkey helped Mother to slide off the cart and she waddled straight inside.]
Cut the word 'straight.'

[The storerooms were like refrigerators.]
Cut this sentence, it's implied by the previous explanation.

[The high infant mortality rate ...smile down at the baby.]
This situation messes with the reader a bit–I like it. You should really play with the perceived cruelty.

[Looking past my wrinkly red skin,]
This is an element I was worried about. The entire section is told from a first-person perspective, without the I...but it is there, whether you explicitly state it or not. Without qualification, there is no way for the character to have so many details of so many events without identifying it as the recantation of another. The framework needs to be solid to rectify this omniscient/first-person telling.

Hi,

This is a disarmingly well written account of the bizarre made real - if not all true it would be material for a great work of fiction. This is great art without the appearance of artfulness, and that is a rare thing, a treasure in a writing style.

These are not mere stories of another world brought to life. The great care with which they are told enmeshes the reader so that behaviours that would otherwise seem strange, even outrageous, are somehow normalised. We come to feel the threads of our shared humanity, and to suspect, even believe, that we are all part of a common comedy and tragedy. In short, you have brought us to know that we too could be part of that world, had things been just a little different.

Lots of stars. And I hope, one in the making.

Hi Zhililng,
This book is so deserving of all the praise it's received. I've read seven chapters this afternoon and can't wait to get back to it this evening. Should be on the editors desk already. More that happy to back, star and place on my WL. Best regards, Richard

Having read all the chapters uploaded (and some more than once) I'm hanging out for more. Do hope there will be some new material to read very soon. The development of this memoir, following so closely the development of revolutionary fervour among the working classes, is gripping. I particularly love the understated ironies and the black humour. The appearance of the two mangos as icons of worship, for example; the giant papermache model mango mounted on a truck and leading the parade but nobody having a clue what a mango is! (And Mao thought religion was the opiate.) The blow by blow accounts of fighting among neighbours. The manipulation of a culture of Elder reverence. This is the true story of a peoples revolution and it is building into an extraordinary historical document. Well done, Zhiling...and could we have some more very soon.
j.marie

I am blown away by this read. Not only was it well written but it was fascinating. I found it really hard to believe that this might actually be true - in a good way. I love reading about places and people that I know very little about. This reminded me so much of "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" - but I know absolutely nothing about Mongolia. I did find it a bit difficult to follow the names of all the different characters. I'm not sure what to suggest to make it easier on the reader...and I found myself wondering the time period of this - when does this take place? There was no mention and it had me wondering...

I was completely appalled by some of the practices and customs you describe here - not to condemn them or judge them or anything like that - just that they are so far and distant from anything I am familiar with - it was so hard to understand and imagine - but I love a book like that - a book that challenged my assumptions about people and cultures and teaches me completely new things I never knew along the way. I love the combination of modern and "ancient", the politics, the combination of religions...

I am wondering where you are with this book and if you have queried agents. I would be interested in seeing more of this MS if I were an agent, and I can't imagine that you haven't had interest in this. I am certainly very very interested.

All the best,

Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Hi, Zhiling – this is a random review from AudreyB. I am often accompanied on my reviews by my English teacher alter-ego, The Grammar Hag. If I say anything you don’t like, it was probably her idea.

I love the opening image. I can see it as if I’m watching a movie.

“To put her tiny feet in perspective….” Your wording assumes that everyone finds Dolly Parton’s figure sexually appealing, which isn’t the case. It would be more accurate to say that “her beautifully tortured feet were regarded as spectacularly sexy by Chinese men of the time, just as the bosom of Dolly Parton was admired by American men.” And because I’ve just written a horribly passive sentence, I’ll try again: “Chinese men of the time admired her beautifully tortured feet, just as American men watching “The Grand Ole Opry” admired Dolly Parton’s gravity defying bosom.” Though you might be able to do better than “admired.”

You have a number of verbs of being, mostly was, throughout the first section. I recommend changing to more active, juicy verbs to help draw the reader into the action.

“But now the snow had come early…” Might be best to say, “But that November, the snow had come early..,”

I love how you explain all the names and nicknames. The population here in my city is about 35% Chinese so I’m really interested in anything to do with China.

“My uncle, Grandma’s beloved only son,” needs its closing comma. I sense that English is not your first language. That’s actually a bit of an advantage, because it’s great to read the Chinese cadences in your talk.

Aha – I’ve just now read your profile page and see that you want feedback on later chapters. I’ll finish Chapter 1 and move to a later chapter.

Great description of the bed!!

I also enjoyed the description of how you were kept between the two bean-bags to get a flat head. These rich details really help me see China.

“…a daughter-in-law called Phoenix in Grandmother’s village” doesn’t need a comma after.

I love the way Chapter 1 ends.

OK, on to a later chapter. I chose Chapter 5.

After “…My Old Lord Grandpa,” you need a capital letter on “The city…”

“…went past us on foot or on bicycle…” don’t need that comma. You can also delete the words did and so. “I looked down at Grandma’s tiny little feet. I wished she could rush like all the women who went past us on foot or on bicycle with great big feet.

“He asked me to squad down near the….” That should be squat.

Rebuk should be rebuke

“I sat on the dirt ground…” insert the word ‘and’ here. After the comma, delete the and. “We repeated this…” delete the next word, for.

Instead of “I felt like to go to the toilet…” try “I had to go to the toilet.” Or, “I realized I had to go to the toilet.”

“I went inside put my pants down…” should be “I went inside and pulled my pants down…”

“…I was tired by squatting…” should be “…I was tired of squatting.”

So many more fantastic details. This is a wonderful story.

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Hi Zhiling,

I love your style of writing. The descriptions in your first chapter are really beautiful, and the pace is just right.
The story also gives the reader a good insight to cultural issues.

Hi Zhiling,

I love your style of writing. The descriptions in your first chapter are really beautiful, and the pace is just right.
The story also gives the reader a good insight to cultural issues.

Thank you for writing this book. It is absorbing, immensely detailed and an amazing insight into the traditions and hardships of live in Mongolia. The casual brutality is something we are not used to, yet it pervades every aspect of life, especially for women, who are so obviously regarded as a nuisance.

There are a few issues with syntax, which is hardly to be wondered at in a volume of this detail and complexity. Some of your sentences could be split into smaller parts, and some of the explanatory details shortened. But these are small matters, easily mended with editing.

What we have here is a wonderful account of a way of life unknown to most of us. I am glad to have found it. This book deserves to do well indeed. Six stars and on my WL.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

THE BROKEN SHOE
This is a fascinating story. I started to read it, thinking I was only going to read two chapters, but just kept reading and reading. Such a different culture from my own which believes all babies, no matter which sex, are highly valued! I think you have a wonderful story here. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President?

The Broken Shoe is a delightful memoir about growing up in the Maoist China. Gritty characters, superstitions and old customs collide with the equally rigid Communist regime in a down-to-earth, often humorous style. I'm placing it on my shelf.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

P.S. Zhiling, I noticed that the story of the thrown-away baby girl told in the first chapter is repeated word for word in Chapter 10. You need to decide which one you want to keep.

Dear Zhiling, Since I have a space on my shelf, I'll place "The Broken Shoe" there at once. Your memoir is a treasure of revelation into a culture hardly known in the western world, told in clear, vivid prose and bringing to life a wealth of fascinating people. It deserves a wide audience. (Please ignore the mention of another book in my previous message. I was falling asleep.) It's been a while since I read "The Broken Shoe" before, and I'm enjoying it even more the second time.

Bill Carrigan
("The Doctor of Summitville")

Have been enjoying this remarkable piece of work. Your story-telling voice is strong, unique, and quite magical.

Dear Zhiling,
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to finally comment on your wonderful story. It is truly a beautiful piece. I was immediately drawn in by the family members, with all their spunk, depth, and heart. One would think it could be confusing to keep track of so many interesting characters (Golden Lotus Grandma, Third Monkey, Swallow. Hairy Lu, Ugly Big Gooted Aunt... and on and on!), but your attention to them adds only a lovely richness to the story. You have effortlessly woven the cultural traditions throughout the book (ie feet binding, god name book, etc) with such ease, leaving the reader with a deeper understanding. Your touches of humor (ie pig's fart, etc.) allow the reader necessary times of "lightness," in an otherwise heavy-hearted time period. The heartwrenching choices of the time, such as "throwing baby girls out to the fields" evoke intense emotion and genuinely touch the reader. You have an amazing story here.... sincerely worthy of publication. I know I would buy it! Highly starred and on my WL. Hopefully giving it some shelf time soon.
All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now to Him

The Broken Shoe is true to all its listed Tags: the culture is instructive; the history is revelatory: the humour infectious; the politics bravely illustrated by a woman writer whose personal courage inspires and her take on revolution is gender empowering. The Pitch would be more accurate if amended to: Women were scarce due to the long established tradition of killing female infants. High star rating @ *****. I will be pleased to back this superb book again as it nears The Editor's Desk. A final edit will ensure a publishing success. Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

The Broken Shoe is true to all its listed Tags: the culture is instructive; the history is revelatory: the humour infectious; the politics bravely illustrated by a woman writer whose personal courage inspires and her take on revolution is gender empowering. The Pitch would be more accurate if amended to: Women were scarce due to the long established tradition of killing female infants. High star rating @ *****. I will be pleased to back this superb book again as it nears The Editor's Desk. A final edit will ensure a publishing success. Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

I like the flow of the language but miss a stronger sense of plot. Nevertheless. the characters, the directness of observation lead me to back this. Do have the book looked over by some editor at some point; instances of use of a noun as a verb (paining) are jarring in English even though common in Chinese.

This book expanded my knowledge of China, 1960's China, the Cultural Revolution, the dominance of Mao in Chian during that period of time, and the great people of China.

All I can say is aiya!

I loved this book and what it taught me about a culture that I know little about. I also realize that in our ways, we are all "broken shoes." We weren't always broken. In fact most broken shoes were once a good pair.

I cannot wait to read a full edited version of this book and I suspect that will come one day in a bookstore near you (although sadly it could be on a kindle near you too). I want to thank Zhilling for sharing this story with me, the authonomy readers, and hopefully will reach the desk because it deserves to receive a fair hearing on whether it should be published by Harper UK.

That being said, it will be published somewhere because of its quality.

Great job!

As a future ESL teacher, this book would be awesome for my intermediate readers. This is a great way to connect o culture and to help with their English reading skills. I see this as a way for students to practice comparing and contrasting cultural experiences and to share their own "stories." You really know how to put your own experiences into written word and make it a fascinating read. I loved it! The pace was spot on and I don't have anything negative to say. Good luck with it! Many stars for you!

Best,

Ashley

Hi Zhiling

LF40 review

Your cover is superb. Definitely one of the more professional ones on the site and the pitch does the job.

Really like the touch of humour in your narrative. The skinny old man with his skinny old horse line made me smile. Chapter 1 did feel a little strange, hearing the story of the birth so clearly from ones eyes, even though you’d be too young to remember, but for some reason I found it worked. The landscape was so foreign to me that I had to keep reading and found it engrossing. The grandma made me laugh so much – her witchcraft is a load of crap – was one of the lines, but I found her to be quite warm in some ways. Her wanting for the baby to survive against the odds was lovely.

I found the story about the grandpa taking the babies to the fields so heart-wrenching, even though it was never written in a way to force me to do so. Your writing is so blunt, but beautiful, that it brought those emotions up in the first place.

There were some things that needed to be tightened up in terms of editing, mostly comma placement. In chapter two – child betrothal (about Hairy Lu – by the way I love the names, Dullhead 1, 2 and 3 in particular) – I thought would have read better as childhood betrothal, though that’s just my opinion. At the end of that chapter about the chicken flu, I wasn’t sure if this was a question, or if it should have read ‘could not’ rather than ‘could’.

I read up to chapter 4 and thoroughly enjoyed the read. The narrative, language and sheer newness of it to me was intriguing. I liked that we were seeing this through the eyes of a child, it held a certain innocence to it which I also liked.

Very highly starred

Silva

I read your first chapter and it was very educational and entertaining. I am wondering the same thing as Valentino, is this more biographical or novel? This is just purely out of curiosity though. It is well done and I can tell that you either have first hand experience or have done extensive research for the book. I will put you on one of my watch lists and come back for more. If you get a chance, I hope you can check out Maddy Hatfield and the Magic Locket.

Best,

Ashley

I have read the ten chapters online, and wonder how much is biographical, and how much is novel. If it is all your story, do you actually remember it, or is it from listening to the tales told so many times by your family? A remarkable book, well written in simple prose with sufficient narrative to keep the reader involved. On my watchlist for now, but will be upgraded when space is made...
Good luck, and I hope you have started your next book!
Jendai Rilbury

LF40 Review.

Hi Zhiling,

I have lived in China for sometime now, so I approached your book with great interest. I was not disappointed.

From the three chapters I have read, I have to say that this is a great read. Your style of writing reminded me of 'Dream of Ding Village' by Yan Lianke, a great author and a very compelling piece of work. I found myself pulled into your story from the off and only stopped due to work commitments. I can easily see this is a book I could sit down and read in one sitting.

You have a great voice here and your story flows along nicely. 'The Broken Shoe' also has some of the best chapter titles I have seen in a long time.

The one thing I like the most about your writing is your use of humour. There were several times during reading where I laughed out loud. The first being comparing Golden Lotus Grandma's feet to Dolly Parton's bosom. As for the word 'Aiya', I know too well how often it is used to express emotion or frustration - even I use it now!

There were some fantastic lines that I loved. My favourites being: 'They said that her sharp cheek bones cut her husband's surviving luck into pieces' and ' I ran in and out of my Grandma's house like a cat and I barked like a dog'. Wonderful stuff.

I intend to go back to this as soon as I can and read more and will find a space on my shelf for you asap.

A great read so far and am sure it will only get better.

Cheers and all the best,

Simon,
Yuko Zen Is Somewhere Else.

I like reading this very much. This is first time I have make comment on a book and I am glad it is you.

LF 40 Cont'd

Chapter 2 of this compelling narrative introduces the reader to more customs of rural Mongolia in the late 1950s where its inhabitants eeked out a marginal life and had to make brutal choices in order to survive. The author thoroughly explains how a female newborn's life hung in the balance and creates sufficient tension while the reader continues on to discover if this new "wah wah" will follow so many other baby girls into the fields and certain death. Hairy Lu and his wife are memorable characters and provide some grim humour there. The characters in this chapter maintain their distinctive quality and the reader gets deeper sense of the involvement of the extended family into the affairs of the author's mother and father.

In this chapter there are a few considerations that might help polish the narrative and improve its flow and clarity. The opening section in particular, when the author is explaining Grandma's past experiences after giving birth to girls might flow better with a bit of rephrasing. At the moment it seems a bit choppy in some areas and could do with a bit of tightening in others. In the opening sentence for instance you write as though you are continuing a paragraph from chapter 1. You can't always assume that the reader has not stopped and picked it up after the previous chapter so it would read better if you reworked it slightly. Also it is not his suggestion that was deep rooted, which as it stands is what you imply, but the tradition that was deep rooted. You might consider something along this line:

'In the region of Inner Mongolia, where drought took turns with flood, it had long been a practice to thow unwanted baby girls into the fields. Many villagers of my Grandma's generation rid themselves of unwanted girls in this way at one time or another, so Great uncle's Hairy Lu's suggestion to do just his came as no surprise.

Grandma had also been faced with such choices after giving birth to two sons and then two girls and then she delivered another girl soon after. Her mother-in-law, viewing the little baby girl growled, 'not another useles girl.'

Further on there is another section you might consider re-working for clarity and a smoother flow when you discuss Hairy Lu's wife.

"While Grandma and Grandpa threw their female babies into the field Hairy Lu's wife chose a different way to deal with unwanted daughters. Missionary nuns from the local Catholic church had rescued her from the fields, as they had other female babies on the few occassions the nuns reached the fields before the wolves. The nuns had hten raised Hairy Lu's wife so her feet were unbound and had grown to their natural size."

These are all editorial polishes that enhance what is very good characterization and a compelling story. I feel this would make a wonderful memoir and hope to see it someday. I'll read on and comment in the week. Kristin

LF 40 Review part 1

The first chapter is a wonderful gripping opening to a story whose premise is very unique and appealing. You've established a lovely engaging style that enlists the reader's sympathy immediately and motivates them to continue reading. You've established your characters clearly early on, especially Golden Lotus Grandma and Uncle Monkey. These descriptive touches really enhance the narrative and provide the reader with a deeper understanding of a culture that, for the most part, will be foreign to them. The setting and time period is wonderfully evoked with the descriptions, the dialogue and the customs/superstitions. You also are very adept at establishing the tension in both the imminent birth and then later when the witch doctor is called to attend to the baby.

There are a few things though that I thought you might consider. One main point I did wonder about was whether they called you anything other than "wah wah" at this point (though I love the way you use in the text). If it wasn't the custom to name a child until later you might want to mention that to the reader. There were also words ommitted a few times in the first chapter like "chillled [it] to the bone in the beginning, and at the end, "she was nudged [by] my tired mother. There are also a few misplaced or missing commas and apostrophes. These are minor nits though.

There were some sentences that you might consider reworking to make them less awkward and keep the flow smooth or to improve the clarity of what was going on. The section where Grandma hears a cough, you might want to put that after the sentence "I knew girls should not go to school" [She heard a cough]. "Ah there he is." That way it is less awkward and you don't have to slow down with the longer explanation that she heard the cough in the next paragraph.

You might also consider looking at the paragraph beginning with Grandma jumping off her bed and re word it to be a little more smooth and clear like: "Grandma jumped off her warm bed, donned her lambskin jacket against the November cold and hobbled out of her house into the snow covered courtyard. She moved with care because her feet were bound and so small that the villlagers thought they were the perfect three inch golden lotus feet.

Another section when your mother is in labour you write that "Her mother spent the labour walking in and out ..." which is a little unclear next to the previous section starting "As". If you just write "her mother paced in and out..." and drop the rest because you start the sentence with As which relates the labour of the daughter in the first section to the mother pacing without having to add the "spent labour" part. Also I meant to say the section with the bean bag description is a bit repetitive and could be tightened or just omit the second sentence.

One other element you might consider is to omit passive voice and added extra words when you can. For example things like "superstition had it" and just say "they believed" or "He could see without words" and just say "he could see" or "the mother in law of Wangs famly" and just say "the Wang's mother-in-law."

These are mostly just elements to polish and don't detract from what is a good narrative structure so far. I think this will go far. As I mentioned I'm sure many will draw comparisons to Adeline Yen Mah's book but I think you have a clear enough difference to make it hugely marketable in this day and age with China so much in play globallly and also you will be able to make use of the past popularity of Mah's work at the same time.

I will continue on with my comments. I just thought I would start the ball rolling. Kristin

LF40 review
That's an award winning opening paragraph, just for starters! It captures my attention because of its precision (about time and place) and its visual acuity - it even sounds like a nursery rhyme, with its rhythm and repetition. And that glorious declaration about the baby's head! My fascination increased with descriptions of lotus feet and uncles called 'Third Monkey', but the exotic is not the only charm your story offers. Your descriptions of even mundane things are gracefully simple - refreshingly so. You bring this 'other' time and place to life so that I step right in to the picture. Initially you don't labour over explanations...but I'll say more about this in a mo.
I particularly love the line: '...walking as swiftly as her three-inch golden lotus feet could carry her.' as it contains so much cultural information without labouring the point (forgive the little pun there)

Now, about the cultural elements and your explanation of them - I wonder if you actually need to remind us of the reasons for various traditions. Why not simply leave us in the immediate grip of your unfolding drama... eg. 'evil spirits were said to fear this colour'... why not simply 'evil spirits were terrified of the colour red' ?

It's okay to let the character's reality take over the narrative. There are many places where explanation is simply not be needed; the reader will accept this world on it's own terms quite easily. In that lovely account of Grandmother praying to both Mary and Buddha - you explain her dual belief and that's fine, but you insert, 'like many Chinese' which isn't necessary. Leave us with the magic of the moment as you tell it.

Another example: 'Grandma smiled. The high infant mortality rate created a strange custom in Inner Mongolia.' Why not simply: 'Grandma smiled. Everyone knew that to bless new-born babies, villagers and relatives had to say the opposite...' Limit the number of times you explain about Inner Mongolia and trust that your reader is right there with you, knowing that things are the way you say they are, and that this place, where such things happen, is Inner Mongolia. (Actually my own Aussie mum had the same superstition - I think that one's global!)

About a third of the way into the 1st chapter begin to lose your ease with language a little, some awkward sentences etc. (I will message you some details about this).

In general terms, I think this promises to be one of the best reads on Authonomy. Some of your turns of phrase are going to stay with me forever. 'She will lend us one of her breasts' and 'Not long after the Witch arrived, so did all our relatives.' for example!
You make me laugh when you probably didn't intend to, and this is one of the many charms of this unusual book.

Look forward to reading more -
j.marie

I find it fascinating to read your story, and the different culture of your Chinese village. I wonder if you could open up the images which you depict with sound, smell and colour. It feels in black and white, and I hear very little. You breath, yet I don't smell the oil of the kerosene lamp, the scent of freshly struck matches, or the smell of Grandma. It also might be helpful to feel the emotions between the words. In addition, try to remove unnecessary words to give greater impact. For example: The small crowd dispersed out of the door without words. You could rewrite, The small crowd dispersed without words. There are other examples which I am sure you can explore.
The last line is so important. I feel that it isn't given the emphasis it deserves, yet it is essential to what is about to happen next - it is the hook to the next chapter.
Mary

Only a first chapter I felt captured in your story. I found also very interesting to see in differentc culture a mole on the right lip indicated a good fortune. I didn't know about my culture,as it didn't say much about the mole, but from my own experience in my childhood, I had met many women with moles including my mother. My first teacher had a mole on the right lip, but she was very strict with me and talkative. My grand aunt was very strict but, my mother very lovely.
BP

One more thing. Allow me to be padentic, Huhehaote should be Huhot. And ‘Ami Tofuo’ should be Ami Tuofo – which was Chinese for Buddha Amitabha.

I've just finished reading Chapter 1.

I agree with Raven Jake, that a logical gap/consistency is missing somewhere. Time indication would also be helpful. For example, what happen to you on the second day? How long have you been crying before Third Monkey brought the goat?

A valid point, but my grandmother was only one person, that's why I used singular form. I'm sure there were and there are even more Broken Shoes or Worn-out Shoes this days in China. They are openly called Er-nai - Second Mistress, they are provided with a house and a car, to say the least. Not bad to be a Broken Shoe, huh? Once it was a shameful thing now is all glorious.

I used the translation of Broken here also indicating the state of a dilapidated society. A Broken Shoe in a broken society. I hope readers can see it.

Thanks so much for the support and comment, it is greatly appreciated. I invite you for more discussion.

Congratulations. You've done it. There may be a long way before it could be published, you'll have my support, and comments.
Comment no. 1. The literal translation of "Po Xie" in Chinese into "the Broken Shoe" has a strong impact. We all know the actual translation should be the Worn-out Shoe, meaning a loose woman. (A pair of broken shoes can't be worn again, but a pair of worn-out shoes can. Hahaha.) If this point could be mentioned somewhere, the readers will not take it for granted with the translation. Another thought. We Chinese don't need to indicate plural forms in this incident, but would you consider The Broken Shoes?

Congratulations. You've done it. There may be a long way before it could be published, you'll have my support, and comments.
Comment no. 1. The literal translation of "Po Xie" in Chinese into "the Broken Shoe" has a strong impact. We all know the actual translation should be the Worn-out Shoe, meaning a loose woman. (A pair of broken shoes can't be worn again, but a pair of worn-out shoes can. Hahaha.) If this point could be mentioned somewhere, the readers will not take it for granted with the translation. Another thought. We Chinese don't need to indicate plural forms in this incident, but would you consider The Broken Shoes?

Humbling to read, this insight into the brutal realities of peasant life in Inner Mongolia is not just an autobiography but also an important record of the way things were. The matter-of-fact way you describe the cultural habits, whether feet-binding, cure by hot poker or leaving girl babies for the wolves, creates far more emotion in me than if you'd screamed about how horrible it was. And yet you have the right to scream about how horrible it was - it could have happened to you, and some of it did. Yet your under-stated style makes no judgement and allows the reader to discover how it was and have his/her own reactions.

I have read three chapters and already I know I won't forget this book. How can you forget characters like the ex-nun who makes a living from selling opium? And is despised for her big (=normal) feet? Not to mention the observations that hit me as universal truths. Smells DO seem to travel slowly.

What opening of the story does best is embody its region and time frame by use of layered superstitions, fun characters who are fearful of a temperamental fate, and the focus on unusual details. The scene recollecting the baby-death is probably the strongest, as there is tension and the reader is genuinely interested in what the character's reactions will be. I also liked Third Monkey, mostly because of the intro paragraph defining his physicality–it worked really well to convey his character.

I read the entire open, but there is a point where I stop critiquing because of a logical gap that needs to be addressed before moving on. The story is told from the first person perspective, essentially without using the word 'I.' The framework isn't clear, and the active telling implies that the first-person character is hanging around somewhere observing all of this. Of course, it's revealed this isn't possible as this is the first-person's birth. Details that no one but an omniscient would know are utilized. There is no one character who follows all of these events, so this is something pieced together in retrospect. The elements of that retrospective framework need to be identified. Even explicit exposition would work. The reason the character knows the particulars of this day needs to be explicated for logical consistency.
I did enjoy the story and would read more.


Here are some structural observations:

[on the 3rd of November 1959],
This information works better within the chapter heading. The opening sentence is more natural without it.

[Right after lunch, a…right into Grandma’s courtyard.]
Solid visual.

[In my grandmother’s village, people explain an urgent situation as ‘the baby’s head is nearly out’. In this instance, it was literally true.]
It isn't an explanation, as nothing is being explained–it's a colloquialism. 'People express' may work, and '...the expression for an urgent situation' is clearer still. Whatever the preference, it should be reworded as it doesn't sound like you're saying what you mean here.

[Grandma jumped off her warm bed]
'Warm' is an assumption, as the character is not the grandmother, and the grandmother could in fact be cold.

[Grandma had bound feet which were regarded by the men and women in her village as the most beautiful and perfect three-inch-golden-lotus feet. We sometimes called her Golden Lotus Grandma.]
I like this detail. The outsider will cringe at the notion of bound feet, but the psychological attachment to a particular aesthetic is something any reader can relate to–like torturing oneself to be thin.

[was in Inner Mongolia.]
Repetitive sound with 'in inner.' Within, in the heart of, in central... there are lots of choices.

[In winter the Siberian wind crept in]
You're using the word 'in' a lot in succession. This one can be replaced with 'during.'

[Grandma’s house was made of adobe bricks. It had a flat roof, like all the others in our village.]
Combine for flow. 'Grandma lived in a flat roofed, adobe brick house like...'

[In summer we dried our crops on the roof top. But now the snow had come early, and all the village boys were climbing up wooden ladders to brush it off the roofs.]
Repetition of the word 'roof.' Change the passive 'were climbing' to climbed.

[Out in the courtyard all of my cousins were rolling snow balls.]
Change the passive 'were rolling' to rolled. The character seems to be describing something they're seeing at the moment. The early mention of a year is the only thing to indicate the scene is retrospective, so an active telling works well.

[my mother’s sister Swallow’s husband.]
Strange tongue twister. The characters Aunt whose name is Swallow?

[His actual name ... him this nick-name.]
This is great characterization for this person.

[My cousins raced out of the gate as fast as they could to find Third Monkey, while my grandfather’s oldest brother, Hairy Lu, the nosy one, as Grandma called him, walked over energetically and all my great aunts who lived in the same courtyard, came out to see what the commotion was.]
There are a lot of celebrating, exposition heavy sentences with characters introduced in rapid succession. The best way to alleviate this, and to supply a situation in which all characters are memorable, is to open with a conflict heavy scene between just a few characters. Then gradually introduce the others as they're relevant to the conflict. This scene may be integral to your story, but it's information heavy.

[She had heard Third Monkey’s cough at the gate and hurried towards him.]
Passive. Had heard = heard.

[order to summon him]
Summons.

[my mother’s sister]
Aunt. This wording may obfuscate relationships.

[Superstition had it that if my mother gave birth to her baby at her parents’ house or even in their village my uncle wouldn’t get promoted.]
This doesn't seem like a very widespread superstition. This superstition belongs to a character. 'Grandma was superstitious that...'

[ The Wang’s had offered us their storeroom.’ ]
Cut 'had.'

[Sitting on the train … too quickly,’ she said.]
This section seems to have more of a tense conflict than the main story. Consider opening with the section regarding the baby's death.

[When the train stopped, Father helped Mother to get off the train and they walked along the platform. Father approached a horse-drawn-cart which was going in the direction of Grandma’s village.]
It's unclear that the first person character is present in these scenes. It seems like a nearly omniscient telling of events at points. The character doesn't need an overwhelming presence, as downplaying them works well–but establishing that they are present is necessary.

[The old horseman gave his old horse a slap on the backside and trotted away to the village.]
I don't know why, but I like this sentence. While there are a few wording issues, you do embody the feeling you're going for in many places.

[Father and Third Monkey helped Mother to slide off the cart and she waddled straight inside.]
Cut the word 'straight.'

[The storerooms were like refrigerators.]
Cut this sentence, it's implied by the previous explanation.

[The high infant mortality rate ...smile down at the baby.]
This situation messes with the reader a bit–I like it. You should really play with the perceived cruelty.

[Looking past my wrinkly red skin,]
This is an element I was worried about. The entire section is told from a first-person perspective, without the I...but it is there, whether you explicitly state it or not. Without qualification, there is no way for the character to have so many details of so many events without identifying it as the recantation of another. The framework needs to be solid to rectify this omniscient/first-person telling.

I'm up to chapter 4. Some really wonderful stories you tell! They're exotic, to be sure; but they are well told, too. And every here and there, some great touches of humour, like the names of Dullhead One, Two and Three! Or is it First, Second and Third... I really look forward to reading the rest!

Zhiling,
I loved reading about the culture and the ways that it affected society. The way that you have woven each character throughout the story helps me to feel like I am there with you. I thought of the cruelty of some of the customs, but different cultures have different customs do they not. That is what makes them so unique. I am left wishing that there was more to read. Thank you for allowing me into your world.

- The Broken Shoe -

I have read other chapters on previous occasions and read two new ones, three and five, last night.
This remains very, very good. The main strength of the narrative, I think, is the ability to sketch characters so evocatively and yet so simply. Even the names, Uncle Third Monkey, Uncle Way etc., transport you into a vastly different and rich culture.

There is a subtle portrayal of culture and society in here too. We learn so much from one or two lines, for example the aunt who joined a convent after being spurned by her lover, rather than committing suicide as most girls did. Or the girl who was married off for two sacks of millet. Lines like these reminded me of Nabakov’s book on Gogol where he says that Gogol had minor characters live entire lives in one sentence. There is something akin to that here and it’s incredibly moving.

I don’t think I have much in the way of constructive criticism to add. There was a typo in chapter five, “and and they did a good job”, and some repetition of “two mangoes”, but that’s about it.

Once this is complete, it’s bound to be a Harper True Life contender. A better biography I have not read on here.

I reaf the first two chapter and I must say it was much more interesting than I thought it might be. The writing was great. I have rated the book well.
Always J
Illusions of Comfort

Hello Zhiling:


I read the first three chapters and was fascinated, albeit at times saddened, by this glimpse into Inner Mongolian culture. You are very cognizant of the need to explain the cultural idiosyncrasies to a foreign audience.

Little wonder that this treasure of a book is doing so well, and may it rise quickly to number one!

James Revoir

Zhiling,

I enjoyed reading the first two chapters of The Broken Shoe. Your characters are so well drawn that I really imagined I was standing next them and observing all of their interactions. I think your book will do extremely well, and I rate it highly.

David

Captivating. Finally a memoir worth its salt. I imagine this will go very far. Fantastic writing.

THE BROKEN SHOE *****
I quickly become immensely drawn into this three dimensional story, set in Inner Mongolia, right from the journey of the mother in labour lying on the cart and horse being taken to her mother's house to give birth. But golden Grandma with the three inch feet wasn't having any of it. has it was bad luck to the males if you didn't have your child in the mother in law's house.
Being born in a cold storage room,then they tied the child down with bean bags to flatten her head. Dreadful.
You painted an enchanting picture of Inner Mongolia. The little houses with tin roofs scattered over the mountainous regions, with little boys scrambling up ladders to clear the heavy snow from the roofs. I imagine it wasn't much fun for starving children in the harshest of winters.
I think you have excellent, well-drawn characters like Golden Grandma, Uncle Third Monkey, Hairy Lu, the nosy one, And of course the Sister-in-law, Big Feet.
The hunger in Grandmother's day made them contemplate doing some dreadful things to baby girls, chucking them in fields to die, poor little mites, or even worse, to be eaten by wolves. Unless you were a lucky one and rescued by the Catholic nuns - to be an orphan girl child back then, but to be alive - was lucky indeed.
I found this story to be very emotional. It took me on a roller coaster of a journey. The author is a talented writer, and should do very well with this book. I can see this heart-rending book published and also turned into a film. like Memos of a Geisha Girl.
Kind Regards Kat xx

When I first started reading the Broken Shoe I immediately knew that the author was able to relay a history and a personal experience in an evocative way. I was completely immersed into the culture and transported to Inner Mongolia. There is so much here, in the six chapters that I’ve read, that I can’t even begin to imagine what more Zhiling can tell here.

The emotions that coursed through me as I read were varied – from interest and wonderment to yes, I must say it, at times sheer disgust. I have to say that I’ve never quite contemplated how bound feet looked like (other than the fact that they were small) until your description of Grandma’s feet looking like hedgehogs. I wish I hadn’t been curious enough to google it and see an actual visual of what three-inch feet would look like coz I have to admit it traumatized me and made for a very difficult read the rest of the way. Every time I read of Golden Lotus Grandma’s feet or bound feet of anyone, my stomach would tighten up and I felt extreme discomfort. I almost wanted to cry for the generation of thinkers such as these, for surely how, how, how could this be seen as beauty? And these were the prized women who got better husbands? How? Then there’s the imagery of the flattened heads and I’m like .. I definitely will not google that to see … I’m struggling as it were to erase the image of the feet.

That said, how many writers can do that to you? Really take you there and experience everything? I mean, as I read through, I witnessed the sickness, the cold winters, the poverty, hunger, the commune, the unlocked doors. The children playing mean games in an effort to simulate the hate they saw spewing from their parents. The fight for the most Left party. The Conservatives versus the Radicals. All this seen through an innocent child’s eye. The snatching back and forth of power. The “sick leaves.” Chairman Mao’s brainwashing of the masses, their worship of the mango. All this is brought to startling life as one scrolls through the pages of the Broken Shoe. And poor Grandma Nainai (the Broken Shoe) and her aborted love affair with the young singer. And all this is wonderfully interlaced with superstition – the loss of the soul, the mixing of religions to guarantee a spot in heaven, the woman not giving birth in her mother’s compound for fear of non-progression of her son.

I’m not sure if this book is complete but if not, it is off to a wonderful start. One can have conversation after conversation of the things that Ziling writes of. Its tough to read at times, such as in instances of the thrown-out babies, either saved in the nick of time or eaten by the foxes, but its real and real is not always easy.

Ziling, you still have to work out some grammatical kinks here and there but those can be done easily through an edit … but I was reading solely for the story, to give you my opinion on how it flowed. All I can say is whatever you set out to do you accomplished. I was whisked away into Inner Mongolia and even though at times desperately wanted to leave, I was compelled to stay there, to learn and to know certain truths. Thanks for writing this. It will enlighten many a person when it is published one day, as I’m sure it will be.

Browsing for an exceptional novel, Zhiling Gao, I discovered "The Broken Shoe" and read the first chapter with pleasure and admiration. tt's a wonder there's any story at all, considering the conditions of the narrator's birth, but of course her survival amid poverty, superstition, and the stigma of being female is the source of our interest and fascination. Moreover, the vivid description and character drawing advance the story with subtle force. I'll seriously consider backing this unusual book if the next four chapters are as well done as the first.

As I read on, I hope you'll take a look at my novel "The Doctor of Summitville," a love story set in an American farm town before and during the great depression of the 1930s. The plot hinges on a medical case as practiced at that time. As in your own novel, the prevailing culture could be considered a character no less vital than any other. I'd be delighted to learn your reaction. --Back to you soon, Bill

very interesting; good fluid style...honest and true..an enjoyable piece...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

This is publishable - send it to Harper True!

Hi Zhiling,
Thanks for sharing your story. My comment:
In the pitch, you start with saying that the memoir is that of a "girl", then you talk about "sharing wives". This immediately confused me.. is the book about a girl or a boy?
I have also read almost half way through the first chapter, and I don't know whether the narrator is a girl or a boy.. and this is confusing, cause I'd like to know!!
I love how you explain that in china, people explain an urgent situation as "the baby's head is already out", but then the story annoyed me a moment later, when you said that this was happening literally... Can someone be 'coming' at the same time as their babies head? Are you saying a woman is walking while giving birth? I know this can happen, but if it's true here, then I'd highlight it. Then you completely lose us, by not telling us anything about the sister or the baby for a whole heap of paragraphs!!!! Did the baby get born? I'm wondering for about a page!!
Instead, you talk about summer and snow and grandma and third monkey, etc. etc. I'm waiting for the baby!!

Despite all this Zhiling, I am really enjoying the story, because you write really well, and I would not think that English is your second language - I'm assuming that it is. If so, I wouldn't have been able to tell. You write really well, and the story is interesting, cause I for one, am often wondering about the cultural differences in china. And I like chinese people!! Some are good friends - and I like asking them about their lives also.

I would like to hear more about the first baby, grandma nainai, etc. Maybe you could write a scene where she throws the first baby into the field... And 'show' this to us, rather than tell us that it happened....It is only here that I learn you are a girl (when you say that the second baby was a girl), but it's not explained clearly from the start (that you're a girl), and I think this is important info!! Maybe you can start the piece 'showing' us a small scene of the first baby dying, then start the second section with showing us something else that lets us know you're a girl right away.

I realise that the narrator of a story could be anyone - but because you call people 'grandma', etc, then it seems like the narrator is part of the family, and that's why we wonder who he or she is.

Aiya!!
hmmm,... you may need to be an unnamed narrator... because when your mother gives birth - how can you see it?? I'm not sure if you know about POV, or if you are aware of this issue here... but the shift in POV does distract me... Have you studied pov? If not, it will really help this piece. You can change pov in a scene... but here.. it kind of doesn't work, because I'm wondering if you're dead or alive or in the room as the mother gives birth, and aren't you the baby?

I love how you survived, and made it to write the story!! But when you said you'd made it to six, I was even happy then!! Imagine being tongue tied!

Yeah, this is a good story, and your writing is also good. I think that you need to work on the general structure of the story a bit more, and I hope my comments here help and that you don't go running around shouting "Aiya! Aiya!"

I'm gonna give this work a high start rating.... If you do edit the first chapter and change it bit, could you please let me know so I can come back and read it again? I will also be going through the next chapters.

Best wishes for your success Zhiling!! If anything I've said is something weird, just forget it - cause I could me mad!!! Or send me a message, and I'll try to clarify it for you!! :)

My work is a supernatural thriller. You may like it? The Multiple Choice.
Thanks!!
Monicque. x

Hi,

This is a disarmingly well written account of the bizarre made real - if not all true it would be material for a great work of fiction. This is great art without the appearance of artfulness, and that is a rare thing, a treasure in a writing style.

These are not mere stories of another world brought to life. The great care with which they are told enmeshes the reader so that behaviours that would otherwise seem strange, even outrageous, are somehow normalised. We come to feel the threads of our shared humanity, and to suspect, even believe, that we are all part of a common comedy and tragedy. In short, you have brought us to know that we too could be part of that world, had things been just a little different.

Lots of stars. And I hope, one in the making.

Hi,

What struck me most is your style - a love for words, clarity of meaning, reflecting the local culture and above all, candid. This is the style that good books are made of and am glad that i chanced upon the Broken Shoe on this site. I cannot improve on it and would simply request you to post more chapters in chronological order if you please.

i have showered stars over it and placed it on my WL until I find a slot open on my shelf sometime next week.

All the best.

Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

Zhiling Gao,
Your life story laced with historical facts intrigued me. "The Broken Shoe" is most certainly a rare find, like spotting a vase with a special glaze among more common items on a potter's shelf. Your writing style straightforward yet filled with the vigor and local color of your experiences, is warm and engaging. I can feel your deft touch in the words you choose to describe people and events. Thank you so much for sharing what must have been simmering within you all your life. You have an inner beauty that uplifts those who gaze on it.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

It always amazes me when I learn more about another culture and what their life is or was like. The writing was magnificent and that touched my heart. Best wishes.

Penny
The Glass Serpent