The Whole Rotten Edifice

A BHCG review:

In the first moments of his historical fiction, The Whole Rotten Edifice, author Tony Judge neatly laces one of World War Two's enduring mysteries to a certain truth, the fact that momentous times are invisible to those whom they engulf. In this case, the book opens on the grand question of Hitler's invasion of the Soviet Union, which asks – to borrow a phrase from American history -- what did Stalin know about Hitler's plans to invade the Soviet Union and when did he know it?

Rendering a historical challenge of that magnitude through the incongruities of the human spirit signals not just a good read but an intelligent one.

The book's opening is inked with the strokes of a calvary saber. Great plains roll from Berlin to Moscow, soon to be plowed by artillerymen; a dirt road is as potholed as Stalin's collectives; and a Russian commander is less trusted by the Soviet peasants of Belorussia than the Nazi formations grinding toward their dry fields.

Judge signals his control of events – and specifically those particularly difficult to describe events of movement, shock and chaos – through tight close-ups and acute characterization: the brief clip of a weary chestnut plow horse's “great hind muscles” glossy and rippling with effort; an unintended phrase swollen with portent -- the request by a peasant for a doctor who will be “busy very soon” -- snatched instantly for its significance by a Russian general, a man we will come to admire for his patience and doomed initiative.

“At 4am http://bit.ly/sggA9V as he trudged across the compound to his quarters... a low hum in the West resolved into a solid wave of aircraft engine noise.” Yes, our general realizes, doctors will be necessary.

The scope of the onslaught is instantly upon us. “...the pause between each flash and its accompanying explosion grew briefer and briefer until it disappeared.” Those are the doors of death slamming shut, and our hero dives into a crowded shelter, as if body surfing their blast waves.

Can Judge keep this up? I don't know. But this book has begun as a tour de force, which promises to join the ranks of literature through the microcosm of the archetypal Russian general, who may well have saved the world; and his daughter, one of the daring women snipers who picked apart Nazi infantry, and who may well have saved those archetypal Russian Generals. Will I finish this book? You bet. And I'll write more as I go along. But I've been over this battlefield several times now, and recognize a writer in command of his characters, their predicaments and antagonists, as well as the human factor, the very close but always impossible human distance that exists between father and daughter.

Tony, this is outstanding! If there were errors, I was far, far too absorbed to notice them! You deserve to see this published because it is so well researched, planned and written.

I take it you have kept to real German officers and known Russian high command while creating fictional characters for you main protagonists, but this feels so real, so convincing that I wonder if you have based your book on true events - not just the mainstream historical battles but the interweaving of the characters themselves and the little happenings between them. Whatever you did, the result is... truly outstanding. What else can I say but, 6 stars and shelving as soon as I have a space.

Are you listening to Martin Sixsmith's 'The Wild East' about the history of Russia on BBC Radio 4 just now? It's scary how serendipity so often kicks in like this.

I wish you every success. The Whole Rotten Edifice deserves a roaring success - especially with that wonderful title! I am not quite so keen on the cover, but it might look better on a bookshelf than as a thumbnail - and I am not sure how you would find something to fit more aptly with your theme. There is a conflict between attracting the browsing reader and representing your very dark topic. One of the good things about Authonomy is that it forces us to think about all the aspects of floating a book on the market.

Margaret Woodward : Kilbaddy

Tony --

I´ve read you again, for kicks, for sighs (of envy) and to learn more about chapter harmony.

I won´t waste syllables praising your work -- it is simply fantastic. But what truly impresses me is how well, how comfortably you time His and Her chapters. I hope to balance my chapters as harmoniously as you have yours.

And my mind is still struggling with something ... the calm within your writing. Question being: How can someone write so serenely about the horrors of war? Me thinks I´ll be ruminating awhile.

Sevastion and Marta make my bookshelf glitter.

Cheers,

Elina
CLASH - A Novel of Extremes

Ch1. Loved it Tony. How well you write and construct your story. From the off Sevastian's care for Karpenko, setting up our relationship with him, yet later touches of his authority that reaffirm the tough responsibilities of a General and warn us he may have to do things we don't like. A deft touch and incorporated into the action. I believe they call that Show and not tell. One of those books that looks and feels like one. Perhaps just a matter of time and fashion.
Great work
Norton

Tony, you've given us a large slice of history from a viewpoint rarely, if ever seen. An emotional, human viewpoint, that makes the military aspect with all its incredible detail become fascinating and even heartstopping in places. Sevastian is a man and a half, fully rounded on the page from the beginning, his cat and mouse games with Mazurovsky the games of a true General, and those of Mazurovsky in rather similar vein, yet his appear politically motivated for personal gain and personal safety - a man to whom Sevastian must never turn his back, and we can only hope he does not. As well as his own standing, his own fierce patriotism, he has his daughter Marta to protect. And early on in this story, we have a grasp of her stubborn mettle.

This is superb writing. The thick of battle, with all its human consequence laid bare. Yet, we have elements running all through that will interest women readers as well as men to whom such battles and militaria this book will hold fascination for. This lady is still reading.

One thing, I agree with Steve that a stronger title would be *Barbarossa*. I think the inevitable movie will use it! (This is from someone who is struggling with her own title, by the way...)

Superb, with stars to match, and shelved with best wishes for your success.

Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

Tony,

I've just read what's posted here under Chapter 1, and was hugely impressed. This is a great example of historical fiction. I'm interested in this period of history, so I'm your ideal target audience, anyway, but its hard not to be impressed by such stylish prose and masterly storytelling. Your opening scene is excellent, with few words you transport the reader in time and place, effortlessly setting the scene, and use the peasant, Sasha's reports of a huge German military presence building up in the region to create tension, a sense of impending doom is very well executed.

On a technical front, I think you've struck just the right balance between historical economy and literary style, where your writing is both informative, accurate and hugely readable. Lines like 'like a swarm of mosquitos celebrating a summer morning' is a fine example of this. Moreover, everything here has a very polished, advaned draft feel to it. i can't remember seeing so much as a typo.

In short, a great start, with strong characters and high quality writing. If I'd had more time I would definitely have read on, and am happy to give you a long run on my shelf.

Regards

Neil 'The Holy Drinker'

interesting story that flow with emotion. that gripped me, although only read chapter one thus far.

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

In the first moments of his historical fiction, The Whole Rotten Edifice, author Tony Judge neatly laces one of World War Two's enduring mysteries to a certain truth, the fact that momentous times are invisible to those whom they engulf. In this case, the book opens on the grand question of Hitler's invasion of the Soviet Union, which asks – to borrow a phrase from American history -- what did Stalin know about Hitler's plans to invade the Soviet Union and when did he know it?

Rendering a historical challenge of that magnitude through the incongruities of the human spirit signals not just a good read but an intelligent one, and necessarily fictional.

The book's opening is inked with the strokes of a calvary saber. Great plains roll from Berlin to Moscow, soon to be plowed by artillerymen; a dirt road is as potholed as Stalin's collectives; and a Russian commander is less trusted by the Soviet peasants of Belorussia than the Nazi formations grinding toward their dry fields.

Judge signals his control of events – and specifically those particularly difficult to describe events of movement, shock and chaos – through tight close-ups and acute characterization: the brief clip of a weary chestnut plow horse's “great hind muscles” glossy and rippling with effort; an unintended phrase swollen with portent -- the request by a peasant for a doctor who will be “busy very soon” -- snatched instantly for its significance by a Russian general, a man we will come to admire for his patience and doomed initiative.

“At 4am as he trudged across the compound to his quarters... a low hum in the West resolved into a solid wave of aircraft engine noise.” Yes, our general realizes, doctors will be necessary.

Then instantly, the scope of the Nazi onslaught is instantly upon us. “...the pause between each flash and its accompanying explosion grew briefer and briefer until it disappeared.” Those are the doors of death slamming shut, and our hero dives through them into a crowded shelter, as if body surfing their blast waves.

Can Judge keep this up? I don't know. But I feel I am in grasp of tour de force that promises to join the ranks of literature through the microcosm of the archetypal Russian general, who may well have saved the world; and his daughter, one of the daring women snipers who picked apart the advancing Nazi infantry, and who may well have saved those archetypal Russian Generals .

I've been over this battlefield several times now, and recognize a writer in command of his characters, their predicaments and antagonists, as well as the human factor, the very close but always impossible human distance that exists between father and daughter.

A BHCG review:

In the first moments of his historical fiction, The Whole Rotten Edifice, author Tony Judge neatly laces one of World War Two's enduring mysteries to a certain truth, the fact that momentous times are invisible to those whom they engulf. In this case, the book opens on the grand question of Hitler's invasion of the Soviet Union, which asks – to borrow a phrase from American history -- what did Stalin know about Hitler's plans to invade the Soviet Union and when did he know it?

Rendering a historical challenge of that magnitude through the incongruities of the human spirit signals not just a good read but an intelligent one.

The book's opening is inked with the strokes of a calvary saber. Great plains roll from Berlin to Moscow, soon to be plowed by artillerymen; a dirt road is as potholed as Stalin's collectives; and a Russian commander is less trusted by the Soviet peasants of Belorussia than the Nazi formations grinding toward their dry fields.

Judge signals his control of events – and specifically those particularly difficult to describe events of movement, shock and chaos – through tight close-ups and acute characterization: the brief clip of a weary chestnut plow horse's “great hind muscles” glossy and rippling with effort; an unintended phrase swollen with portent -- the request by a peasant for a doctor who will be “busy very soon” -- snatched instantly for its significance by a Russian general, a man we will come to admire for his patience and doomed initiative.

“At 4am http://bit.ly/sggA9V as he trudged across the compound to his quarters... a low hum in the West resolved into a solid wave of aircraft engine noise.” Yes, our general realizes, doctors will be necessary.

The scope of the onslaught is instantly upon us. “...the pause between each flash and its accompanying explosion grew briefer and briefer until it disappeared.” Those are the doors of death slamming shut, and our hero dives into a crowded shelter, as if body surfing their blast waves.

Can Judge keep this up? I don't know. But this book has begun as a tour de force, which promises to join the ranks of literature through the microcosm of the archetypal Russian general, who may well have saved the world; and his daughter, one of the daring women snipers who picked apart Nazi infantry, and who may well have saved those archetypal Russian Generals. Will I finish this book? You bet. And I'll write more as I go along. But I've been over this battlefield several times now, and recognize a writer in command of his characters, their predicaments and antagonists, as well as the human factor, the very close but always impossible human distance that exists between father and daughter.

WHOLE ROTTEN EDIFICE
I read the first chapter of this. It’s a dramatic beginning. Savastian is an interesting character to begin the book; a person has to feel sorry for him and the way he’s left to fight this war alone because of the stubborn bureaucracy around him. I like your dialogue, especially the way the peasant gives away what he sees across the border. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President (Have you thought about joining the Historical Fiction Review Group?)

Tony, I can't wait to read this. Few in the West understand that Hitler broke his back trying to kick in that "rotten edifice." I'm no lover of Uncle Joe, but it was the summers of '41 and '42 -- five full months before the stumbling American invasion of North Africa finally saved England from getting kicked off a second continent -- that turned the hour glass of surrender in favor of the allies. And what a great idea to use the trials of the snipers, those valiant women, who helped win the war bullet by bullet.

This has the feeling of complete authenticity both hisorically and politically, as well as being thoroughly engrossing on a human level. No mean feat. Sevastian's depth of character is evident from the beginning, and his personal certainties and conflicts throw everyone around him into sharp relief. It's also flawlessly written. Definitely deserves publication.

If I was Katya, I would not call senior party officials "yellow"--but I assume people did at the time, nonetheless. I've heard heartbreaking stories of Russian soldiers absolutely certain they were going to die (and die they did!), but imagining the mentality is insane.

Anthony Beevor's "Stalingrad" and "Fall of Berlin" are horrible, vomitous classics about this stuff, if you haven't read them.

This seems good--I don't know if it's grippingly breaking out of the pack of historical novels, at first blush, considering how impossible the market for this stuff. If you even care about "markets." I know what attracts me to this period is the horror of war and the spiritual horror of conflicting fascisms--and the apocalyptic doom.

Tony

Well constructed, well researched, and beautifully visualised. I enjoyed reading this.

I would like your feedback on my work - Malford - if you have time would you please have a read.

Thanks
Samragi

Tony,
I check out you fine book and I liked it so I backed it. Good luck and happy writing. If you could please take a look at my book DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. For your possible backing. Your help will be greatly appreciated. Good luck and happy writing.

Dwain-Thomas

This sounds very intriguing and worth reading. I'm putting it on my watchlist and will get back to you eventually with comments.

Tony,
My only disappointment with your story was that I couldn't read more. I read the first ten chapters in one sitting. I was completely immersed in your story and Mother Russia as you expertly weaved between the stories of father and daughter. Good story Tony!

Rebacked after giving a 95 year old Airman a bit of a go.

Tony, this is outstanding! If there were errors, I was far, far too absorbed to notice them! You deserve to see this published because it is so well researched, planned and written.

I take it you have kept to real German officers and known Russian high command while creating fictional characters for you main protagonists, but this feels so real, so convincing that I wonder if you have based your book on true events - not just the mainstream historical battles but the interweaving of the characters themselves and the little happenings between them. Whatever you did, the result is... truly outstanding. What else can I say but, 6 stars and shelving as soon as I have a space.

Are you listening to Martin Sixsmith's 'The Wild East' about the history of Russia on BBC Radio 4 just now? It's scary how serendipity so often kicks in like this.

I wish you every success. The Whole Rotten Edifice deserves a roaring success - especially with that wonderful title! I am not quite so keen on the cover, but it might look better on a bookshelf than as a thumbnail - and I am not sure how you would find something to fit more aptly with your theme. There is a conflict between attracting the browsing reader and representing your very dark topic. One of the good things about Authonomy is that it forces us to think about all the aspects of floating a book on the market.

Margaret Woodward : Kilbaddy

I had absolutely no trouble getting through what you have put up so far.

I can see the two snipers shouldering their rifles and jogging off.

I wld definitely jog after them and read more. From that I conclude that the story is in good shape, that there is no problem with the chapters or the dual threads. I know that you will bring the threads together later on and that the general's old links with the germans will somehow become significant again.

Above all I've enjoyed the read and hope you will post some more.

Ron
WATCHING SWIFTS

Ch 10

And here it is. This ch is almost as stong as 7 for me.

Situations such as you describe must have happened thousands of times. As in 7 you make me feel that I am there. I love this dab, 'they glanced around anxiously at the brooding wilerness.'

And many a Russian must have thought, 'So that's our invincible enemy.' There is great archness in comparing them to the knackered horse.

I also like 'the knowledge chaffed like an ill-fitting boot.' as the similie is esp fitting for a soldier.

The 'hideous montage' put me in mind of Wilfred Owen's poetry. I like 'German fingers...Russian neck.' They are all one in death.

And how many times must soldiers have said 'Stop thinking...start walking.' Note they are not marching proudly now. Also we tend to be in the worst of trouble when we stop thinking. But such were those times.

There is another brilliantly vivid dab here, 'the green wall that hemmed them in'. But this bit is even better, so right, 'The German's lay still, AS THOUGH FEIGNING NON-EXISTANCE.' O yes, love that vision. It just feels right.

And then a little burst of action, nothing serious, not a big battle, just a little light killing, as you do. But you add a couple of vivid dabs to it, 'thrashing around, signalling in flaming semaphore.' And this, 'the greedy dance of the flames.'

I wld love to have a HC reviewer with me right now to explain to them face to face that strokes like that are why I read. I can read a story and if I get a couple of bits in it like that when the writing makes me see something I am nourished and happy. Yet the reviewers bang on about this n that aspect of the story's engine while entirely missing the body work, the finish. I don't care about writerly torque, revs, whatever it is. But I do love a beautiful finish and that requires beautiful writing, I submit.

The story for me is secondary, it can sort of look after itself. Providing it goes all is well. The reviewers seem obsessed with the engineering of stories. Is it that the don't have the eye to see the other aspects to writing and what we look for when we read? Maybe reading stories for a living takes the joy out of it for them.

Ch 9

Maybe I lost the thread a little here. I suppose your intent was to show us how things were in peace time, to give a bit of background to Marta. But I think this chapter might be a little like Ch 4. Anyway, I was done with it in about half a minute and didn't spot any great touches. I thought of mushroom clouds as I read. Anyway, you have me reading at speed, though I don't know if that was your aim. But were this a published book I wld be through this chapter in seconds, looking for another chapter like 7. I know there will be one.

Ch 8

I read a HC review on this site that seemed to cricitise a writer for writing too beautifully. I was astonished. Too beautifully? I am one who reads in part for beautiful dabs. I think 'accidental spring.' Is a lovely dab. It perfectly captures the situation. Yes, we need a strong story, but I for one want beautiful writing, too. I sometimes don't care if the story is a bit bent provided I get something nourishing from it. But that is just me and I admit I am not a nailed down efficient sort of person.

I think the details about some T34s not even being painted or having radios is convincing. And of course I love 'scruffy fledglings'.

I reckon the HC reviewer might get freaked by the background about the German-Russian exercises. But I don't care. Yes, I read through them fast, but I can see that they are likely to be important at a later point in the story. And the development of S's background goes to develop his character. We need these quieter chapters to give contrast to chapters such as the previous one. And for me as a reader of history it is also interesting to read how both sides were at odds with the League of Nations and saw it as a plot against them. How arch that they then end up devouring each other.

Love the wit of 'At least we won't be out of a job for the foreseeable future.' Something a great many of us can't claim today.

Ch 7

I am enjoying the sniper chapters the best, so far.

I like the notion of them lying there out between the lines, discussing aspects of their existence. I esp like 'His type always do, don't they?' Yes, they do. Alas.

I love this dab, 'leaving a lingering trace of wood smoke where it struck the branches.' Very vivid.

Your focus on sound and the sensations of battle is strong, esp that ' crowding her consciousness into a small point behind her eyes: a citadel under siege.'

We are there we feel those sensations in our imagination. And being thus focused by your words we scarmble and look through those field glasses and see the penal battalion approach. O the madness of it. How did they do it? Can see that red and white spray and the torso and that face and those teeth. Very intense. And then that neat shot to the forehead. 'A mantra of the dammed' catches it. How many millions went like that?

This is strong, 'I think that was mine clearance.'

This is excallent, 'Marta's sternum resonated like the prongs of a tuning fork.'

Can also feel the excitement of seeing the new forces, the new tide, of knowing that the course of events wld now change. That must have been quite a moment.

And o, the wryness of 'donate their body parts as waymarkers.'

So, too -- the speed of it -- the bestial cries and the contrast to the order of sniper school. A great contrast that. In a way history readers are a bit like theoretical snipers, looking from a distance. But we never feel those sensations your words capture. Fiction takes us there and I felt I was there in this chapter.

Ch 6

This takes me back to Ch4. It wld have been great if there was more in ch4 to feed into this one. Maybe some despair, or uncertaity of his chances of success in ch4 that cld carry into this one. For his new methods to succeed they wld need a certain type of man to apply them. Maybe he cld hint at the sort of man he has in mind in Ch 4 and then when we come to 6 we can wonder is the Col that man? Maybe he cld say in 4 we need something of the cossack cavalry spirit or some such. Maybe that is where the old Czarist col wld prove the missing link. Maybe there cld be dark hints about the new machines in Ch4 also ... the T34s. So maybe it's a coming together of the new machines, a new thinker, and old Russian spirit. Sorry to keep harping on about Ch4!

Moustaches. Like the walrus moustach which makes me think of the rival moustache styles of the rival Bossess. I wonder if anyone has ever written about the militray significance of facial hair.

The discussion about armoured -- and other military tactics -- fascinates. The penny parcels vs concentration must still go on one way or another.

The evolving relationship between the Gen and the Col is promising.

Ach, I bristle whenever I read about the NKVD. The top down nonsense of that system just seems brain dead. Were they any different to the SS? Cld either group ever exist again?

Can hear thost pistol shots and like the crows rising. Ach, soooooo many millions of pistol shots echo through history. There is something vile about strong, armed men leading cowed, bound victims off to be shot like that. It is vile. And how fitting that the letters of vile also spell evil.

Yet among it all there is a more decent humanity and we sense it in the instinctive fellowship of the Col and Gen.

Ch 5
I thought this chapter was great, a strong read after the thinner 4th. I know that it is good to alternate like this, to vary the pace.

I cld sense the bullets passing overhead and understand the strange consolation. 'They are not meant for me, so everything's alright.' So, too, the pissing in the trousers is convincing. I wonder if anyone was ever given away by the steam rising from them in such circumstances?

You made me focus on their situation and how death cld visit them from either direction. I also thought how dangerous it wld be for them crawling back to their own lines and wondered how many must have been shot accidentally by their own on their way back to 'safety.' Also, I imagine there wld have been German sniper teams out there with them also. The danger of a chance meeting face-to-face with their counterparts offers great potential.

Like '...this vast chorus line of destruction.' And, esp, the way it evolves into the empty stage metaphor. I can see how the field glasses lead into that. Also it makes me think how strange that there should be so many people invoved in the theatre or war and yet the stage as you say is so empty. It is as if they are all ashamed of the play they are involved in.

I felt as if I was there looking through those glassess, seeing ... nothing. And then there he is, the figure. How many thousands of times must that precise event have taken place.

Like '...drawing a red veil over his face.'

And o the glee of '...you did it. You got him!' It is an almost childish pride, entirely understandable, thrilling, too. But so sad, too. And there is naivety about it. It is as if the success pushes the fact that at any second the same may happen to them. But then maybe we need that capacity to be able to do war. Thinking too much about it wld just not do. Is that why we send confident kids to do it?

I like the details of tbe M91/30. But wonder can you inweave them in a slightly more subtle way? Maybe one or two refs to the rifle, or sniper school in the earlier crawl-out chapter?

The excited comparing of experiences in the trench afterwards is how it wld have been. Little experiences, individuals with individual human instincts and emotions amid the gigantic sweep fo things. Maybe we, with the benefit of history and knowledge of the outcome, have a better, or broader feel for it than those who were there. We can't imagine their ignorance of the outcome, how it must have been to be in the volatility and chaos of it all.

But some of your dabs really take us there. Regina there on her own is one such dab. The vision of her bereft face sobers up the excited squad. I had to think for a moment about whether her faces reflects the well's dark blankenss or if it is her face dimly reflected in the water. I'd like to think it was the former.

All those millions who died were members of little squads like that and every death was a little drama.

So this chapter had me squinting through the scope of history back at those times, events and the players on that stage/

The opera

Ch 4
'I like your ideas for dealing with the Panzers' ... I wonder if it might be a good idea to give a few graphs about the plans? I suspect -- because I know you put in some details about the sniper rifle in the next chapter -- that you will go more into the plans later. But I was curious at this point to know what the tactical problems were and how he thought they might be met. Clearly these sort of discussions must have gone on as the Russians were rolled back and back.

Ch 3

Here we go!
The word 'marcing' in the opener catches my eye. There was soooo much marching going on then. And how fine the formations must have looked and felt. How organised, impressive, powerful, safe even. What a contrast to what they were marching to. And what a feeling it must have been for those little bosses watching the pawns in the game do their bidding. How horrible. And o how each one of those lost human 'units' in the bigger units in the Bosses' game, each had a beating heart and its little job to do, its own little pride, hopes and fears. Yes, little gladiators in some vast game. Exciting, revolting. And here we all are, still fascinated by its vast drama. Still writing about it, still reading about it.

And there is one them, popular, confident, standing on the parapet, excited, taken with the whole thing ... dead.

And what of the man who pulled the trigger? Did he get out of Russia? Probably not. Sigh.

I like that dab where M's hearing is working out the different sounds, the unaccustomed sounds of the time. It must have been like that for them all.

And there one of them is dead already, 'her quivering boots playing random drumbeats on the wood'. Brilliant, love that dab. It reminds me of the pig-slaugtering in JUDE THE OBSCURE where Hardy describes the pig literally, kicking the bucket.

?? 'They got up before dark'

This is a brilliant dab, 'past the fatal embrassure, treading softly.' as if out of some sensation. Just like the pilot's shoulders in Ch 1.

Your story is moving along a cracking pace. But then so did the events of those months. Having said that things slow to a profound crawl at the end of Ch 3, what a contrast to the marching at the start.
And what a great contrast between the marching formations of life at the start of the chapter and the '...ghastly sculpture of random anatomical details and pieces of Red Army uniform...' at the end

What courage to crawl out into all that. But it was how things were. They must have known they wld die. But they did it.

Cld you take us into M's thoughts as she is crawling out there. Phps on her father? Phps on the guy who shot her friend. What is she thinking as she is stuck there? Does she want to get up and run, run, run. Yes, they wld have been focused on getting their position right. But what else was in her head. Just a couple of dabs will do pls. Maybe a memory from her childhood, or some such. Maybe she's worried about some aspect of her shooting, or her rifle, some rivalry with another sniper. That crawl wld be absolutely intense.

Of course I want to know what will happen next more than anything though.

Ch 2
Like the insight into how it was in, '...once they created a story, the rest fo the world was rearranged to fit it.'

Also like, 'precious oases of sleep', and the sensually vivid childhood recollection. We are there in 1941, in the recollection. We can smell the earth. And how ironic that the system that is beating him up is there, too, in his recollection, in his father's comment.

The new man, evident only in his cigarette smoke cld have stepped, or exhaled, straight out of Le Carre.

Ach, that white linen and lavender. Blissful. Cld use some of that myself.

This is a brilliant dab, love it, 'The rhythm of the shovels in the earth sounded like a stream train starting up, but never gathering speed.' Most evocative. Also it links into the childhood digging recollection, showing how different such a timeless human action can be.

Minor nit pick. I thought the suddeness of S's change from being dead meat to 'The Boss decided you should be given a second chance.' a bit of a road bump. Wldn't he have just been dead 99/100 once they have him? Just an observation. It is plausibe that The Boss was capable of any whim, without any reason being needed. And of course there is a reason, the suicide mission, right? So I read on.

Cld see 'those smiles that became so rare then ceased.'

The last graph is strong. It all makes sense. This feels like a linking chapter to set up further development. I read this one quickly and was soon into Ch 3.

Ch 1
I enjoyed this scene setter. I cld see the dust and the driver's blodied face. And I found the meeting with the peasants and the way the general latched onto what they said convincing. There must have been such moments. It felt real.

You are clearly comfortable with the big picture, but I enjoyed some of the tactical dabs, too. '...screwing up his forehead with the unaccustomed effort of choosing his words with care...' I cld see that. It feels bang on right. (Also I cld imagine many a writer doing the same, late at night.) So, too, the issue of the word 'movings' captures the gulf between the military and the rustic minds. It fascinates that the Russians were in a form of denial about what was about to happen to them.

Sevastian's reactive planning shows the restless miliarty mind swinging into action, instinctively. But then there is 'The Boss.' Ach, The Boss! The cunning idiot miles away in a different reality. S is brave, intelligent and active. Yet he is put in his place. Ach, the failings of top down authoritraianism. How many millions of time must someone like S have been crushed by 'the hightest levels.' And of course he does what he's told.

But it is the peasant's 'I see Vasily every Sunday.' that I really like because it humanises history. Also I esp like the way you show me the 'jointe between the concrete slabs of the shelter's roof.'

And how the new reality has become aparent when they emerge from the shelter. Even The Boss can't brush that away.

Another day I found really strong was '...hunched his soulders into a defensive posture, as if this might somehow defend them...'

But the best part of this chapter for me was that dust in the shelter and S sneezing. I cld hear those sneezes. It must have been like tthat. So the story is alive for me.

So, too, the tension between the brave S and the fearful flyer is great. The one's fear seems to mount with the other's desire to get higher to have a look. And o what a vision! The sight of the whole German army on the move.

But you haven't finished impressing me, '...wreathing it in black funeral ribbons...' is a super-uber poetic dab.

Overview based on Chs 1-3. (will read more anon)

I read easily and naturally. I know a bit about the history you are writing about and am fascinated by it. I think you can assume that many of your readers will also have a similar background knowledge. Perhaps some readers who know the history want to read this type of story to being the history alive. And of course there remains a huge interest in those times and titanic human struggles.

I thought as I was reading that your story feels more like Jack Higgins than Patrick O'Brian. And I wondered if you might add thriler to your tags. I thought his because the story romps along with the tocus on the action rather than the inner furniture of the players. But these are early impressions only.

I thought the historic dabs convincing, i.e. words like 'tongues', though I did wonder if words like 'bullshit/motherfucker' were current then.

Anyway, my main overall comment is that I found myself reading hungrily and easily. I was reading as I communted into Canary Wharf, on trains. I found your story took me out of my dull circumstances and excited my imagination. You captured my curiosity and held it. This was inpart down to your chosen subject, but also to the slick writing.

Hello Tony,you've chosen one of the most dramatic moments in all of history - the opening guns of Operation Barabarossa, I've often thought about what it it must have been like and I did once attempt a story about the crossing of the Vistula in September,1939,by the German Army,as witnessed by a handicapped boy(a la Ambrose Bierce in 'Chickamauga',a story of completely perverse brilliance),but I never got very far with it,defeated by the logistics, I think - unlike the German Army.This is a great scenario,although ,of course, the Soviet Armies were engulfed, does anybody survive ?- well obviously they do.I wonder if you would be able to look at my novel 'A Buccaneer',an historical,adventure romance set in the 17th century,backed,with best wishes,Strachan Gordon

Tony --

I´ve read you again, for kicks, for sighs (of envy) and to learn more about chapter harmony.

I won´t waste syllables praising your work -- it is simply fantastic. But what truly impresses me is how well, how comfortably you time His and Her chapters. I hope to balance my chapters as harmoniously as you have yours.

And my mind is still struggling with something ... the calm within your writing. Question being: How can someone write so serenely about the horrors of war? Me thinks I´ll be ruminating awhile.

Sevastion and Marta make my bookshelf glitter.

Cheers,

Elina
CLASH - A Novel of Extremes

Tony,
The Whole Rotten Edifice is historical fiction which reads like a true story. The research has been meticulous and the characters seem like real people who lived through these historical events. It's a compelling read which offers quite an education to the reader who can easily imagine the events you describe in this fascinating look into the past.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Ch1. Loved it Tony. How well you write and construct your story. From the off Sevastian's care for Karpenko, setting up our relationship with him, yet later touches of his authority that reaffirm the tough responsibilities of a General and warn us he may have to do things we don't like. A deft touch and incorporated into the action. I believe they call that Show and not tell. One of those books that looks and feels like one. Perhaps just a matter of time and fashion.
Great work
Norton

I've read seven chapters now and I'm stil impressed by the polished quality of the writing that includes such vivid descriptions and creates such gripping tension at times. Both Marta and Sevastian's story unfold through intermittent chapters in with a style and pace that remind me of Helen Dunmore's The Siege. We see Marta's stress as a newly fledged sniper in the face of the onerous onslaught of the German's (so cleverly designated at one pont by the shape of their helmets) and growing friendship with Katya, the strong character who thrives in such crisis situations. It is through Katya that Marta can learn to negotiate her role as a sniper and find a "norm" to allow her to deal with the mental stress of a brutal period. Her father, Sevastian is deftly portrayed as another human trying to survive a war physically and emotionally intact in an atmosphere where the minefields are not only on the battlefield. In all of this wonderful narrative I have only one element to wonder about and that is the very little backstory that we have for Marta at the end of chapter 7. In a site where so many writers feel compelled to load all the backstory in the front , it's a strange thing to be noticing. There are three more chapters posted and perhaps that answers that concern. Kristin

I've picked up the narrative again and read chapters 3 and 4 and continued to find this a very polished and very enjoyable read. I was also pleased to read Marta's viewpoint and anxious to learn more of her experience as a sharpshooter, something I hadn't considered might have occurred in WWII (and this coming from a women's history historian). What a unique story you have here and I find its development fascinating. You've interlaced substantive authentic detail with your narrative and created some solid characters in the women, especially Katya, a classic slavic peasant woman who no doubt spices things up. As the daughter of Sevastian I'm particularly interested in learning more about Marta, though and how she came to serve as a sharpshooter and her relationship with her father. There is much potential here. But this isn't to take away from the seamless writing that at times comes through with some lovely turns of phrase and metaphors such as "A pair of fledling raptors" that so clearly alludes to the two women budding sharp shooters. Great stuff. Kristin

I've had this on my WL for a while and have now begun to read it. I've said "begun" because I will continue this tomorrow and maybe even the next day. I've read the first two chapters and found this a seamless narrative that at times is so very gripping I'm loath to log off for the necessary things I have to get done. As a historian I'm often attracted to historical novels but I tend to give the military based a wary eye because so often they are used as dumping ground for tactic and strategy buffs. I am not one of those. This novel is far from that bent and though its research shines through, it does only in a manner that you know you're in confident hands with this writer. I've only read the first narrative thread and found the characterization very strong and authentic for the time period. This is set during a very complex and difficult time in Russian/Soviet history that lives on in the minds of many Russians today. You capture very well the tension and thin line the people had to walk during the war-- the struggle to fight the war without becoming mired in the political traps that were present like mine fields to even the average citizen. Highly starred and I look forward to reading more. Kristin

I love what I have read so far, six stars!

A strong compelling story which I had no difficulty absorbing myself in. As a war story I might have passed this by, but what drew me was the Russian scene setting. It's an unusal backcloth for WWll books and offered a refreshing change of vista.
Once I started reading, I found it a very well written and polished piece of work. Your characters are well crafted and the storyline sweeps a wide arc of war history and a battle, I certainly knew little about. Starred and on my shelf shortly. Margaret.

Happy to back this.

Tony, you've given us a large slice of history from a viewpoint rarely, if ever seen. An emotional, human viewpoint, that makes the military aspect with all its incredible detail become fascinating and even heartstopping in places. Sevastian is a man and a half, fully rounded on the page from the beginning, his cat and mouse games with Mazurovsky the games of a true General, and those of Mazurovsky in rather similar vein, yet his appear politically motivated for personal gain and personal safety - a man to whom Sevastian must never turn his back, and we can only hope he does not. As well as his own standing, his own fierce patriotism, he has his daughter Marta to protect. And early on in this story, we have a grasp of her stubborn mettle.

This is superb writing. The thick of battle, with all its human consequence laid bare. Yet, we have elements running all through that will interest women readers as well as men to whom such battles and militaria this book will hold fascination for. This lady is still reading.

One thing, I agree with Steve that a stronger title would be *Barbarossa*. I think the inevitable movie will use it! (This is from someone who is struggling with her own title, by the way...)

Superb, with stars to match, and shelved with best wishes for your success.

Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

this is a fascinating book, and wrapped in a brilliant setting...writting has a good feel. effective narrative style and dialogue...ON MY WATCHLIST...
read SEASONS...

Tony the read I promised. I've no literary training nor ever published so feel free to deal with my comments as you wish. I do enjoy HF though and the general synopsis works for me. I do feel the title is a little heavy and perhaps 'Barbarossa' may be better but a publisher would help make that decision.

The heading dated June 1941, then states the location is near to the 1939 border between Russia and Germany. That left me puzzled and took me away from the read to check. Do you mean the former Polish border? You then later go on to describe the peasants as being Belorussian so for the non HF buff potentially confusing.

This opening Chapter has two parts for me. The first is the story and the writing and that works. I feel with editing it can be tightened but it reads well. But more importantly is setting the scene for what was a huge change in history. I'm aware of much of this period and for me using the General overflying the entire German advance was an excellent writers tool. The car in the ditch intro I felt took away the impact of Operation barbarossa - later that comes through, but perhaps bring it in earlier. Perhaps just start with the General in awe as German tanks cross the fields below.

I've no comments about typos or grammar. There is some tightening with editing but no more than anyone else.

Chapter 2 and a huge jump. I guess not unexpected considering the subject matter. Stalin's initial lack of trust for his senior officers was key, and the background involvement of the NKVD you've shown here, and that's important. Ultimately Russia became a tank battle in many locations and the early introduction of Sevastian to the reader and his connect to the Whermacht tank corps is spot on. I'm aware of the daughters involvement from the long synopsis but felt if anything this Chapter perhaps moved a little too quickly. You've given the uninformed reader a huge amount of historical detail to absorb. I'm ok, just thinking about Mr Average.

The introduction of Katya and Martha is more interesting. You've slowed the pace and used them as vehicles to explain the background to the Communist party in Russia and its power. But during this period most women were sent into tank factories or to do similar work. The sniper scenes read well enough but I was seeking more background on how she found herself in this particular role.

Overall a fascinating read and one I've spent time not only reading but you pushed me back to research. I've no real comments on the writing - you have that in hand. Usually on Authonomy I find people have developed the story too slowly, but in this case I do feel a slower intro to Barbarossa and Marta in particular, may improve the read. Just my thoughts. Best Steve.

Chapters 1 and 2:
This work begins vividly, preparing us for the conflict via local color. Very impressive. The tension ratchets up with Sevanstian facing a false accusation of being a desserter. So many, many good turns of phrase. I especially liked how the political officers operated. Once they created a story, the rest of the world was rearranged to fit it. Also: strands of humaity had been stitched back together. I look forward to coming back to read more and will rate then.
Bravo,
John B Campbell

This is superb. The opening meeting between the General and the peasants who inadvertently warn of the invasion is a indication of originality and clever inventiveness. You have a strong characterization and grip on the various ranks etc and basically "know your stuff." I definitely want to know more and this is certainly my kind of thing. Well done indeed. WL for now and starred, regards, Mark

You have a real knack for writing with the jargon from Europe during WWII. The scene when the plane has to make an emergency landing in the meadow at the end of chapter one was written so realistically I had to believe that Sevastin died with the pilot but he didn't and I cheered - he is a unique and intriguing character and I will surely read more of this. Starred and shelved!

Liz
The Cheech Room