Book Jacket

 

rank 5445
word count 17496
date submitted 18.05.2011
date updated 24.05.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Fantasy, Horror
classification: adult
incomplete

Neverville I - The Becoming Before Dark

Kieron Shaw

No1 in the trilogy, Dark yet beautiful, a story of loss and gain, and the mystical creature that is watching from the darkness.

 

The snow blancketed town of Neverville, beautiful like a fantasy dream, but were there is light there is darkness, a fitting remark to describe this town.

Sky returns home to look after his ill grandma but soon starts to have dreams of his parents death, a dark tall shadow stood over them, trying to reach for Sky, to take him. he ignores the dreams until one night after meeting a beautiful girl called April he spots a creatre simular to the one in his dream, attacking a young male leaving him drained of blood, he tries to berid of the creature but is attacked and left hospitalised.

A dark and angry detective is on the case and soon places Sky the number one suspect, as more people die, the more dreams he has, the more he wants to find out what is doing this? And why? Sky can only turn to April who he drags along in his dark path as she watches, waiting, until she can no longer see the brightness that surrounds Neverville.

Book is finished, 380 pages and the 2nd one is nearly done, 3rd on the way...

 
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Dilettante wrote 370 days ago

Too many errors, yet an imaginative story with promise. Backed.

Aidan2002 wrote 371 days ago

Your hook and pitch need an edit. Typo's can be off putting to some on this site. The story shows promise and is written with a nice flow of words, but I feel you need more of a hook from the beginning rather than him simply waking up from a dream. Maybe the dream itself could be the opening leading to his waking in the first chapter. You don't have to listen to me I just feel you could grab the reader more from the off set. Good luck

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