CLASH

I don’t read a lot of docu-fiction, Elina but I really enjoyed this.Highly starred and thoroughly recommended.

In terms of its blend of high tempo, unapologetically graphic action scenes and more sedate, thoughtful conversational exchanges it reminded me very much of the excellent recent TV mini series ‘Carlos’ (about Carlos the Jackal) and, to a lesser extent, the stylised French gangster biopic ‘Mesrine’ starring Vincent Cassel. It’s so difficult to both inform and entertain but ‘Clash’ [by the way, I'm really not keen on this title; it feels rather bland; is there another title you might use? maybe simply the Spanish translation?] manages this effortlessly. Terrific stuff.

The prose is very smooth with an immediate, almost filmic quality that really helps to bring the scenes alive. Real and purposeful dialogue, particularly in the action scenes. The sense of time and place is clear and involving but never intrudes on the narrative – it’s just there in the background, adding colour and depth. For the most part, the historical detail is clear and subtly evoked (although I’d watch out for occasional info-dumps). In terms of ‘plot’, despite this being a non-fiction piece, it does have the feel very much of a novel and, as such, the mix of action, drama and political intrigue should mean that it will appeal to a broad cross section of readers.

In short, a very stylish, terrifically involving opening. Thanks and best of luck. Andrew


I made some observations on the prologue/chapter 1 as I went along. Please feel free to ignore!!

Prologue:

I like the prologue. It’s concise but not overly brief and, as well as providing a very informative historical backdrop, helps to set the tone for the book. It does, however, feel a bit more like an author’s note rather than a prologue and I was wondering whether you might consider marking it as such and having it outside the main body of the text? Just a thought. Maybe also think about toning down the opening line? Having the words doom, rage, passion, fury, and revenge in the same sentence does feel a bit over the top and, to my mind, rather undermines the emotional impact of the line??


Chapter 1:

I love the punchy, energetic dialogue. Terrifically involving. Mentioning all of their ages does feel like a bit of an info dump, tho??

‘shatters his neck’ – not sure this quite works? ‘shatters’ implies something that is brittle? maybe ‘rips through’ or ‘punctures’??

I really like the pared down, direct prose. It lends the scene a terrifically involving, almost filmic feel.

‘guts of the operation’ – great line

‘courtesy [of] his marvellous youth’

‘…within the party [comma not semi-colon] inflation…’

Interesting that minority groups etc were accepted but rock and roll was still frowned upon. Informative and thought provoking revelation.

Again, I don’t think we need Foxtrot’s precise age. Maybe just hint at his youth? It feels a little like an author trying to demonstrate their research??

Terrific mental image of the pram rolling into the road and tipping over.

‘built incongruously close to the ground’ – not sure what this means??

‘enters the navel’ – ‘navel’ doesn’t feel right? maybe ‘hub’, ‘nucleus, ‘nerve centre’??

‘sets a hefty bundle of bills apart’ – a little confusing? maybe rephrase slightly?

‘need-to-know basis’ – a little too Americanised/clichéd??

I like the scene with Oscar and Marcus walking the dog although some of their exchanges feel rather stiff and unconversational? Maybe rephrase slightly so the essence of what they’re saying is preserved but it’s delivered in a more downbeat, natural manner??

I was slightly thrown by the River Plate/drought/overflow line. I eventually realised you were referring to the football club and their lack of recent trophies but initially I thought you meant a literal drought that affected the actual River Plate. Maybe rephrase?

Elina, you're transporting readers into a world, these barrios of Argentina, that probably so few knew or know anything about, and you do it with a rarely seen raw knowledge, and such heartfelt grace.

It's a fascinating history you've laid out, yet it's combined almost seamlessly with the lives of the Monteneros, of Oscar, Romeo/Hector, poor Foxtrot/Angela, and Tati, who I think readers will fear for until the very end. Even the brutal but charismatic Oscar, we can empathize with, given this background. A new Che.

Che Guevara's words resonate throughout, so powerful are they that everything these young people did can be understood. And now we have little rich girl, Tati - but what a poor little rich girl.

The way you have written this is powerful, indeed. It also gives a huge insight into what drives young people wherever such dictatorships wield their iron fists.

My only crits... not that they matter - a few tense changes, but you know, for the first time in the history of literature, I reckon, they work. If anyone says they don't work... they have no soul. Actual crit... the title. (And I cannot talk.) But I don't think it does you justice. I think you need something that stands out more - something from Che, perhaps, or *Operacion Traviata*, or *Argentina's Dirty War*, or even something like *A Traviata of Argentina*... I don't know, just something to match the power of this story.

If this were a movie, it could be a *drama-documentary*, but it's so much more than that. We have this deeply human side to it, a real story dominating the historical catastrophes. A kind of *Schindler's List* set to Che Guevara's tango beat.

I have never read anything like this. All I can do is give it 6 stars, and wish I had more. And a place on my shelf, of course.

From Kay-Christina
(*Annacara*)

Elina, your book does justice to your interesting life, in full measure. You're in a privileged position as a writer, able to relate the events of that most turbulent era in your country's history with rare insight. Your recollections and research are enviable, but this is so much more than an account of historical events. Your story has depth and sweeps along like a relentless torrent, the pace absolutely suited to the action. I'm enormously impressed by Clash - easily one of the most compelling books I've had the pleasure of reading on this site and I'm so pleased to have had this opportunity to read your work. Backed with admiration.
Jake

wow Elina,

I can only echo the thoughts of Ross Clark -this is powerful, pacy writing. He compared it to jumping in a rushing river -I'd say jumping on an angry horse -and it's an exhilarating ride. The style, as mentioned by others has a journalistic feel -in the slightly formal tone but most of all for the lack of pretension and meticulous research that underlies the action. I would add one more element that I noticed -poetry. You have such an economical, rhythmical style that, at times it reads like beat poetry.

eg. Buses rattle by coughing out fumes
Police cars and ambulances scream in all directions.

This is wonderful writing -it's funny -such is the pace of the plot that you almost move too fast to stop and savour the little gems littered along the way. Other writers commented on the lack of introspection but I'm not sure - I'm not sure we need to slow down -I need to read more! Your descriptions of action and using action and description to convey emotion is some of the best I've seen on Authonomy. I guess one thing I would advise is to include just a little more detail on who is talking in the dialogues -just for those readers (like me) whose mind wanders occasionally.

Highly impressive and very highly recommended -will be back to read more.
6 stars (and want to start a petition to HC to widen my bookshelf!)

Best,
Kaal Kaczmarek
Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point.

- Clash -

(Based all uploaded chapters)

I've been trying to think aboout what to say about this for quite some time. It's been difficult as the narrative is so different to anything I've encountered before. Someone said on the thread for Clash that they had the feeling of being dropped into a fast flowing river and I think that aout sums it up. The reader gets carried along at a hundred miles an hour, the events and turbulence of the time all around them so that you barely have time to take it in before the next powerful scene arrives.

The opening is like a cross between journalistic writing and the narrative histories popularised by Tom Holland and so on. We see and feel the push for democracy in Argentina and the people caught up in in, the main players.

Then we move onto Tati's story. Here the narrative is just as fast and the dialogue comes at us in an almost film script style. It can take a while to get used to as there is relatively little introspection or discussion of feelings on the part of the characters. We are ripped from one scene and taken to the next again and again. But once accustomed to the stlye, the reader finds themselves incredibly effected by it. There doesn't appearto be any need for that introspection because we feel like we are witnessing the events ourselves and the imprint and feelings are left on us.

I suppose the only wonder or worry I have is how one would approach a publisher with this or what they would make of it as it's so difficult to cateorise, and perhaps for them to sell. But then, I know absolutely nothing about these things so hopefully it won't matter.

In any case, it's a remarkable piece of writing. One that I enjoyed reading immensely.

All the best with it,

Ross

Re-backing for Elina, her *Tati*, and all her people in this last tango for Che. It is phenomenal work.

Nunca Mas. xx

Hello Elina-

book - Clash-

Read all six chapter posted on your well researched and informative book-
Argentina in the early 70- and the turmoil throughout the country-
You give a very good account of the happenings in short easy to read chapters- that kept me glued to the
pages- will be of value to social historians in times to come-
The short and crisp dialogue just sits in nicely as you tell this tale in diary like fashion-
recommended read
tom bye
book from hugs to kisses;
please glance at mine true story about a boy growing up in recessional times in 40s dublin- it's laced with humour-thanks Elina

i liked this, will rate it well, i have never really read or saw enough on this part of history, i wish i knew it better, but what i like about this story is its insistence on seeing this conflict from the ground, giving us the thumbnail of the conflict's history in the prolougue and then revealing the conflict at street level, we get simultaneous political and personal views of the characters, the story unfolds via almost terse bits of narrative, a reporter like telling, but it is not devoid of opinion as one might expect from this sort of writing, rather it is as if the opinions and emotions are in the actions and the characters and the author is sorting through them, examining them to find the "truth" of things.

I don’t read a lot of docu-fiction, Elina but I really enjoyed this.Highly starred and thoroughly recommended.

In terms of its blend of high tempo, unapologetically graphic action scenes and more sedate, thoughtful conversational exchanges it reminded me very much of the excellent recent TV mini series ‘Carlos’ (about Carlos the Jackal) and, to a lesser extent, the stylised French gangster biopic ‘Mesrine’ starring Vincent Cassel. It’s so difficult to both inform and entertain but ‘Clash’ [by the way, I'm really not keen on this title; it feels rather bland; is there another title you might use? maybe simply the Spanish translation?] manages this effortlessly. Terrific stuff.

The prose is very smooth with an immediate, almost filmic quality that really helps to bring the scenes alive. Real and purposeful dialogue, particularly in the action scenes. The sense of time and place is clear and involving but never intrudes on the narrative – it’s just there in the background, adding colour and depth. For the most part, the historical detail is clear and subtly evoked (although I’d watch out for occasional info-dumps). In terms of ‘plot’, despite this being a non-fiction piece, it does have the feel very much of a novel and, as such, the mix of action, drama and political intrigue should mean that it will appeal to a broad cross section of readers.

In short, a very stylish, terrifically involving opening. Thanks and best of luck. Andrew


I made some observations on the prologue/chapter 1 as I went along. Please feel free to ignore!!

Prologue:

I like the prologue. It’s concise but not overly brief and, as well as providing a very informative historical backdrop, helps to set the tone for the book. It does, however, feel a bit more like an author’s note rather than a prologue and I was wondering whether you might consider marking it as such and having it outside the main body of the text? Just a thought. Maybe also think about toning down the opening line? Having the words doom, rage, passion, fury, and revenge in the same sentence does feel a bit over the top and, to my mind, rather undermines the emotional impact of the line??


Chapter 1:

I love the punchy, energetic dialogue. Terrifically involving. Mentioning all of their ages does feel like a bit of an info dump, tho??

‘shatters his neck’ – not sure this quite works? ‘shatters’ implies something that is brittle? maybe ‘rips through’ or ‘punctures’??

I really like the pared down, direct prose. It lends the scene a terrifically involving, almost filmic feel.

‘guts of the operation’ – great line

‘courtesy [of] his marvellous youth’

‘…within the party [comma not semi-colon] inflation…’

Interesting that minority groups etc were accepted but rock and roll was still frowned upon. Informative and thought provoking revelation.

Again, I don’t think we need Foxtrot’s precise age. Maybe just hint at his youth? It feels a little like an author trying to demonstrate their research??

Terrific mental image of the pram rolling into the road and tipping over.

‘built incongruously close to the ground’ – not sure what this means??

‘enters the navel’ – ‘navel’ doesn’t feel right? maybe ‘hub’, ‘nucleus, ‘nerve centre’??

‘sets a hefty bundle of bills apart’ – a little confusing? maybe rephrase slightly?

‘need-to-know basis’ – a little too Americanised/clichéd??

I like the scene with Oscar and Marcus walking the dog although some of their exchanges feel rather stiff and unconversational? Maybe rephrase slightly so the essence of what they’re saying is preserved but it’s delivered in a more downbeat, natural manner??

I was slightly thrown by the River Plate/drought/overflow line. I eventually realised you were referring to the football club and their lack of recent trophies but initially I thought you meant a literal drought that affected the actual River Plate. Maybe rephrase?

This is a very strong, absorbing read. I followed every word with anticipation ... How many of us actually know the full story of these turbulent times .. we have only biased media coverage to rely upon. Books like this are essential to inform and create a sense of justice in the world, which is sadly lacking ...

On my shelf ... soonish.

Mick

This is a very powerful piece of writing.
I like the way it begins in a kind of documentary style - I could just imagine watching fragmets of news film with the words you have written over it as a narration.
My knowledge of the history of Argentina is very small, but you have brought it to life and educated at the same time.
I wish you every success with this book.
Mike.
(Rudolf Goes Bananas)

Hey Elina, hope you're doing well. Thank you for re backing LONDON. :-)

Still think your work would make a terrific movie.

jim

Backed Clash. Read prologue and chapter 1. This book is very timely. Even though it is about Argentina’s struggle it underlines struggle taking place in Middle East with Arab Spring and rebellion against the dictators that rule those countries. I am not an author so can’t give any suggestions on grammar or punctuations. I can tell you things I liked about your writing. Good job of giving the read the background needed to understand the story. Chapter 1 lays out the facts in a no nonsense manner. I will keep your book on my shelf for awhile so I can read further.

Clash was recommended by my friend CC Brown, author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
RickieBill

This is an unusual story, but I'm backing it.

Hi Elina,

I enjoyed the prologue of this, but I'm afraid after that, the present tense puts me off reading. There isn't anything wrong with the story or the writing though, just the tense. I feel sure if you re-weote in past tense, especially as it is, after all, a historical, it would be more appealing.

Ron

Elina, I cannot begin to understand the fury, the pain and the sheer devastaion of what was happening in Argentina in the 1970's. I am so fortunate to live in a country where people do not have to give up their lives to find freedom. Your book smacks the reader in the face with the situation and is very powerful. It is a universe away from my children's picture books. I wish you the best of luck. Lots of stars - Carole

Elina, I cannot begin to understand the fury, the pain and the sheer devastaion of what was happening in Argentina in the 1970's. I am so fortunate to live in a country where people do not have to give up their lives to find freedom. Your book smacks the in the face with the situation and is very powerful. It is a universe away from my children's picture books. I wish you the best of luck. Lots of stars - Carole

Hi Elina,

What a ride! Fascinating era and place, rendered with great passion and obviously genuine knowledge. I have a few criticisms which are honest thoughts I would have if standing in a bookshop wondering whether to buy it.

- the hyper-short paragraphs are easy to digest but unusual, may be partially due to the way Authonomy formats the files and breaks. After enjoying the fast pace I, like others who have commented, began to want longer more reflective pieces to get my teeth into.
- the past and present tense switches; after reading up to chapt 9 I still wasn't sure what the changes signified.

Some details:

Ch 1 Oscar recaps the mission: To destroy the government and its supporters, whatever it takes... This reads oddly, as his present mission would surely be smaller scale than that, even if overthrowing the government is his ultimate aim.

Ch 1 Alpha´s dark eyes glitter.... The light in Alpha´s eyes dazzles - repetition


Ch 1 But he need not wonder--the elder Kuraks, like thousands of parents with militant children, had chosen to respect whatever secrets their offspring might hold. - this is the kind of comment that makes me really believe in you as a reporter of events, it rings true.

Ch 1 After eighteen years of drought, River Plate was poised to win the Metropolitan tournament, and every neighborhood bar overflowed with raving fans. - I don't understand this sentence; is River Plate a baseball player?


This morning´s bloodless coup spells the end of agony for twenty-four million people battered by three years of unbridled terrorism but, one (k)new Commanding Officer and his cell are about to announce Last Call. - ? needs rewriting

Ch 2 no comments

Ch 3
"His are not the eyes of a dreamer.” - there a few of these romantic reflections and comments, and a couple of times I ended up wondering if the character would really think/ talk like that.

Ch 9
Colonel Ward takes a deep breath.  “I WANT THAT GODDAMNED COOK.  I WANT THE FACTORY, THEIR SUPPLIERS, ACCOMPLICES, FAMILIES, FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS.  AND A COMPLETE REPORT BEFORE NOON.”  Colonel Ward marches back to his jeep.- bit too much! Emphasis could be imparted by describing Ward's appearance or manner.

So overall I obviously love this work, and the approach to the subject allows the reader to gain both an understanding and a feel for events. Personally I'd like to see the pace vary and slow down now and again, and also for the tendency to romantic and emotional intensity to be toned down in places, but that may be a boy thing!

Phil

CLASH
I know almost nothing about Argentina politics so reading this was educational as well as interesting. You have a good writing style for this: clear and concise. Makes it an easy read as well. I’m sure you’ll find an audience for this among anyone who has felt a need to change the world. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President?

I liked the way you jump straight in to the story. As soon as I started to read about Argentina conflict it brought the story and the reality of war to life. I have read the first two chapters and already I want to finish the story. Overall I could see alot of appeal to the story, its well written and draws you in. I would rate this story highly.

Elina - This is a remarkable story, and you tell it with such passion. I gather from your bio that you have a fair amount of first-hand knowledge of what all of this has done to the people of Argentina, and your writing here certainly reflects that intensity well.

Best of luck with this!
Steve

Elina, this book has touched me. The western world is so remote from what you've outlined and described in throughout these chapters. I'm horrified, more so, mortified at the lack of care, concern, or respect of life - there is none!! I cannot imagine how people survived and continue to do so in such circumstances. War, crime, drugs, hate, violence, and evil so dark that it is indescribable to not react with anger and despair. Thank you for sharing this. I really do hope many doors open for you in having this published so that the world outside of Argentina may learn of the horrors you've endured.

Elina, you're transporting readers into a world, these barrios of Argentina, that probably so few knew or know anything about, and you do it with a rarely seen raw knowledge, and such heartfelt grace.

It's a fascinating history you've laid out, yet it's combined almost seamlessly with the lives of the Monteneros, of Oscar, Romeo/Hector, poor Foxtrot/Angela, and Tati, who I think readers will fear for until the very end. Even the brutal but charismatic Oscar, we can empathize with, given this background. A new Che.

Che Guevara's words resonate throughout, so powerful are they that everything these young people did can be understood. And now we have little rich girl, Tati - but what a poor little rich girl.

The way you have written this is powerful, indeed. It also gives a huge insight into what drives young people wherever such dictatorships wield their iron fists.

My only crits... not that they matter - a few tense changes, but you know, for the first time in the history of literature, I reckon, they work. If anyone says they don't work... they have no soul. Actual crit... the title. (And I cannot talk.) But I don't think it does you justice. I think you need something that stands out more - something from Che, perhaps, or *Operacion Traviata*, or *Argentina's Dirty War*, or even something like *A Traviata of Argentina*... I don't know, just something to match the power of this story.

If this were a movie, it could be a *drama-documentary*, but it's so much more than that. We have this deeply human side to it, a real story dominating the historical catastrophes. A kind of *Schindler's List* set to Che Guevara's tango beat.

I have never read anything like this. All I can do is give it 6 stars, and wish I had more. And a place on my shelf, of course.

From Kay-Christina
(*Annacara*)

Elina,
Where have you been hiding this ? This is fantastic. It is tense and exhilarating from the get-go. I see this becoming a classic in literature. I'm not joking! The style reminds me of Esmeralda Santiago in "When I was Puerto Rican," in that the reader gets to feel and experience completely the "full-ride" so to speak.
Thank you for uploading this master work.
I wish you the best in all things.
Blessings,
Laura A. Diaz
"They Call Me Blanca"

This is very compelling reading. The author knows her subject. The action sweeps the reader along and the prose is tight, even economically poetic at times. In my opinion though, it needs a good deal of fleshing out. There is so much action, and new personalities every couple of 'short' paragraphs. We need much more time to digest the advance of so many characters, and to my mind, we need to know a lot more about them - even grow to care about them. And I think, that is what is missing. I think it probably needs a more independent historical support - certainly more time for exposition, back ground ... and why not the author, allowing herself to imagine the characters in the setting. Sense of place also needs to be evoked much more ... in my opinion. It reads more like a screen play at the moment, but very promising and very compelling. Good luck.

Interesting novel this.
It is pacey, and raw. Very concise and a ripping good yarn.
Enjoyed reading the first few chapters.
Your style is unusual and breaks a few writer's rules, which is maybe what makes this so singular and ultimately entertaining.
Well done.
Backed

I found this fascinating. I know nothing about this part of the world or its history so I learned a little something here. You wrote it in a way that kept me interested, it wasn't dry like some history books. I can't imagine the amount of time it took to do the research needed but you make it feel effortless. I don't read much non-fiction admittedly but this kept me going. The pace is great and so are the action scenes. Well done. I think it's a book that will win over many like me. In fact I Googled a couple of the places mentioned just to see them 'in the flesh'. Thanks for an enthralling read.

Missy

Kia ora Elina,

Just finished chapter 6 (11) of your book.....more please! You write with such tightness and power - it's almost like screenplay it's so cinematic. Love your style and the little gems littered along the way -traffic bleating... -so clever!

Best,
Kaal

This is brilliantly written political history, about a time and place a have a passing interest in. It reminded me at times of Vargas Llosa's The Feast of The Goat, in the way it immediately makes you feel like you're right in the time and place, but this is a much pacier style of writing. Very dynamic with good dialogue. Would lend itself very well to the screen or perhaps a tv mini-series.
Have read 3 chapters and certainly plan to read more. For now, highly starred and staying on my WL.

It's on my watchlist to read. I know I started reading it long long ago, but I've been very busy to continue on. Will get to it eventually.

Book burners. The lessons of history. Political terrorism. It’s all spelled out here for the new dogmatic age. Clash is a breathtaking, violent, sharply-edited documentary with the repeated notion of a country destroying itself. The synopsis touches on a comparison with today’s youth and Argentina’s “shattered youth”, and I feel the author has a lot more to say. I would like the comparison with the present to be developed straightaway to bring it into a sharper focus, to underline the relevance. I could see these comparison with the present posed as open questions to the reader in the prologue. Nonetheless, Clash is terrifying and very impressive. Backed with 5 stars.

I think you should try and get this directly to a potential publisher rather than through this medium, as it's very different and that's what publishers say they are after. Or at least try and hook up with an agent. The narrative form carried me along more easily than I was expecting and the story is remarkably powerful, leaving an imprint with me that will last for some time. I salute you for this work as I don't believe it came easy. The best works rarely do.

Elina,

Came back for another reading. Still very engaging, loving the cultural element and how I am learning while I am reading. Can't wait to see this published and translated into the Argentinian dialect! :)

Ashley

Amazing. I am going to school to be a Spanish teacher and this is something that I would have my students read as an intro to Argentian culture. Love it. Tell me, are you thinking about doing a Spanish version or do you have any Spanish books? I would love to read one of yours! 5 stars!


Ashley

The posted chapters are very powerful in terms of presenting a portion of history unknown to this reader. Backed.

Elina, your book does justice to your interesting life, in full measure. You're in a privileged position as a writer, able to relate the events of that most turbulent era in your country's history with rare insight. Your recollections and research are enviable, but this is so much more than an account of historical events. Your story has depth and sweeps along like a relentless torrent, the pace absolutely suited to the action. I'm enormously impressed by Clash - easily one of the most compelling books I've had the pleasure of reading on this site and I'm so pleased to have had this opportunity to read your work. Backed with admiration.
Jake

Clash. An intriguing pitch, but I cant make out the significance of the cover.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

1. Prologue. A vivid beginning, and a succinct, fast-moving background to Argentina's decade of doom.

Ch.2. And now you're in the present tense, which makes the story stutter along even faster. But there is a lot of fact and action, produced at the rate of several machine-guns. Just like the subject matter. I have to keep reading, yet I can scarcely pause to take in the sense. When is the story actually going to start?

Ch.3. Again, I'm drawn headlong into the action, but there's a focus now. Tati. You introduce her and her history with admirable skill, never relenting.

Ch.4. You've taken me into an alien world of violence which is so obviously very real, with Tati and the others carried away in its clutches. She fluffs her hair and starts the engine. So natural, so incongruous.

Ch.5. And then there's no more....

Absolutely compelling stuff.
Jane (Breath of Africa)

Fantastically powerful writing. After beginning, I was unable to stop before reading all chapters.
This is the most fascinating I have read in a long time. Well done!
Very best regards, Jed Oliver (French Roast and Lingerie)

Fantastically powerful writing. After beginning, I was unable to stop before reading all chapters.
This is the most fascinating I have read in a long time. Well done!
Very best regards, Jed Oliver (French Roast and Lingerie)

Kia ora Elina,

Just read chapter 4 of your book and it's great to read a book you can just step back into and the pace and power envelop you immediately. Love the descrptions of the River Plate-very poetic and the change in Tati to Tango is delicious! I think you should give Penelope Cruz a call and start the screenplay!
Back for 3rd helpings soon

Best
Kaal

This is so totally not the sort of book I usually read; it speaks volumes that I read all five of the posted chapters in one sitting. If history, rebellion and revolution are your thing, this will captivate you. The writing is very well done.
I notice that virtually every comment mentions the fast pace - it moves like a whirlwind, and I imagine this is the reason I read through what was here so easily - it didn't let me rest, just pulled me along. Punch, punch, punch.
Probably the introspection I usually crave would have caused me to weep too much here - the pain hiding behind the speed of this would be too much for me to bear.

Hi Elina,
I need to back you again..... :-)

jim

this a rollercoaster of a read, i is very pacy and flows well - you get drawn into the book in a blick of an eye.

Well written and worthy of being published

Dean

I am inclined to agree with a number of points that have already been mentioned, all of which like others relates to the speed in which this moves. Then again you have the title CLASH! Maybe that is where the clue lies as to why it moves so quickly,.and at times alarmingly, like the irresistible force meeting the immovable object. The only suggestion I have relates to the slowing down of the events and the fattening out of the whys and wherefores. I am not familiar with anyone who writes in a similar style, all of my reading relates to a number of the later classics, (which can be found in my reading list) and therefore it puzzles me as to the manner in which you have written this subject matter. You have a gigantic story chosen from the bloodiest period of Argentinian history, but I feel as if I am under constant bombardment with one event after another leaping at me out of the pages. I mean there seems to be no time for philosophical debate because I suppose that would slow it down and I'm certain that you are quite adamant in the way you wish this to be written as if there is no tomorrow. I cannot really fault it, after all it does hold my attention and yes it is interesting and I am young enough at heart to want something that moves. I'm sure that all writers have had problems with style at one time or another and this is no exception - so without further delay - Backed - Wilfred (He Was a Most Peculiar Man)

wow Elina,

I can only echo the thoughts of Ross Clark -this is powerful, pacy writing. He compared it to jumping in a rushing river -I'd say jumping on an angry horse -and it's an exhilarating ride. The style, as mentioned by others has a journalistic feel -in the slightly formal tone but most of all for the lack of pretension and meticulous research that underlies the action. I would add one more element that I noticed -poetry. You have such an economical, rhythmical style that, at times it reads like beat poetry.

eg. Buses rattle by coughing out fumes
Police cars and ambulances scream in all directions.

This is wonderful writing -it's funny -such is the pace of the plot that you almost move too fast to stop and savour the little gems littered along the way. Other writers commented on the lack of introspection but I'm not sure - I'm not sure we need to slow down -I need to read more! Your descriptions of action and using action and description to convey emotion is some of the best I've seen on Authonomy. I guess one thing I would advise is to include just a little more detail on who is talking in the dialogues -just for those readers (like me) whose mind wanders occasionally.

Highly impressive and very highly recommended -will be back to read more.
6 stars (and want to start a petition to HC to widen my bookshelf!)

Best,
Kaal Kaczmarek
Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point.

- Clash -

(Based all uploaded chapters)

I've been trying to think aboout what to say about this for quite some time. It's been difficult as the narrative is so different to anything I've encountered before. Someone said on the thread for Clash that they had the feeling of being dropped into a fast flowing river and I think that aout sums it up. The reader gets carried along at a hundred miles an hour, the events and turbulence of the time all around them so that you barely have time to take it in before the next powerful scene arrives.

The opening is like a cross between journalistic writing and the narrative histories popularised by Tom Holland and so on. We see and feel the push for democracy in Argentina and the people caught up in in, the main players.

Then we move onto Tati's story. Here the narrative is just as fast and the dialogue comes at us in an almost film script style. It can take a while to get used to as there is relatively little introspection or discussion of feelings on the part of the characters. We are ripped from one scene and taken to the next again and again. But once accustomed to the stlye, the reader finds themselves incredibly effected by it. There doesn't appearto be any need for that introspection because we feel like we are witnessing the events ourselves and the imprint and feelings are left on us.

I suppose the only wonder or worry I have is how one would approach a publisher with this or what they would make of it as it's so difficult to cateorise, and perhaps for them to sell. But then, I know absolutely nothing about these things so hopefully it won't matter.

In any case, it's a remarkable piece of writing. One that I enjoyed reading immensely.

All the best with it,

Ross

This is a wonderful, fast-paced novel which introduces readers to the events in Argentina during the 1970s. The use of the present tense gives the story an immediacy which makes us feel as if we are there, witnessing the events described. If the story continues in the same style to the end, at once both a history primer and a documentary, it should be a winder. Suerte!

Michael Clifford

Sometime in Andalusia

www.ten-minute-stories.com

I read your first three Authonomy chapters.

General comments: A riveting start. An interesting main character. Equally interesting supporting characters. Good descriptions. Excellent tension. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the first Authonomy chapter:
1) No nits.

Specific comments on the second Authonomy chapter:
1) No nits.

Specific comments on the third Authonomy chapter:
1) 'Eventually she found aunt Mia.' Capitalize 'aunt.' In this context, 'aunt' is part of Mia's name and, therefore, is a proper noun. Proper nouns are capitalized.
2) "Where is my Dad?" 'Dad' should be lowercase. When you put a pronoun in front of 'Dad' you make 'Dad' a common noun. Common nouns are lowercase.
3) I would have liked to have immediately gone inside Tati's head when she is told her father's plane had a 'forced landing.' I'd like to see her immediate emotional and inner physical reaction to that news.
4) "Tell me WHAT?" No need to write in all caps. Writing in all caps is unusual and pulls the reader out of the story while they try to determine what you mean to imply with all caps. You don't want that. Use italics to emphasize words.
5) ' ... Tati felt becalmed.' Try to avoid using the word 'felt.' Just describe her feeling as vividly as possible so the reader can experience the 'calm' along with Tati. When you do this, the reader will be drawn deeper into your story.

I hope this critique will help you further polish these chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Thank you for supporting "Savannah Fire."

Have a wonderful day.

Al

Elina,
Your life experiences have been extraordinary. The meticulous research you must have done to write CLASH--A Novel of Extremes is stunning and creates a compelling account. The social commentary in your synopsis shows you have put great thought into this work and society would benefit from its publication. So many works of fiction are purely escapist and have no impact on society, but social commentaries in historical works are of great value and give them a distinction beyond pure entertainment.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

I love Historical noels and those set in times gone by using much authenticity to create a fictional tale. You have accomplished the latter with this book and I look forward to reading more. I have WL you for a few days when i can open room on my bookshelf, I also highly rated you. You have done a wonderful job here and I enjoyed it very much. Denise

Elina, I've read through the entire submission. I won't go into any detail about the style of writing, etc suffice to say it is staccato and economical and I found myself getting used to it as any intelligent reader should do.
This is a fascinating and terrible account. I get the feeling it's fairly autobiographical. It's terrifying too, as really, there is not much 'good' on either side. Both revel in doing their killing. It's just one extreme facing of another and no good guys in sight so that makes it a bleak tale.
Tati, an immature young woman, gets in above her head but pretty quickly is willing to blow to pieces with nail bombs women and children. Your pitch asks the question whether with todays economic climate, young people would be willing to act similarly. I hope not. Certainly not in Britain. Then again there were the Tube bombings on 7/7.
This is a warning, I think, and that is why you might be writing it. It's not glamourous, though some will inevitably think so. You've done us a service writing this as it is a reminder to anyone who may have forgotten that there are no heroes here, only victims. And the victims are so easily forgotten. Starred, WL for now, regards, Mark

Elina, I'm going to continue to back you and to read the rest, however it is not a novel. You have written a movie. I think you should become a member at Zoetrope.com and adapt this (more or less as-is) in the screenplay format. ~Wolf

Clash
Non Fiction

This is a well presented piece of work.
I would suggest breaking the long pitch into several paragraphs.
Other than that, IMO, this book is one of extraordinary brilliance. I see nothing lacking. Very good!
Raechel
Echo

Hi Elina
Just read some of your chapters and my heart is still racing! In the beginning you set the scene for this violent period so well: historical fact, blended in with fast-paced drama and action. Your narrative is taut and you introduce interesting, engaging characters, such as Tati. The ending to Ch 3 is superb, the nonchalant way that Foxtrot is hurled over the balcony. I couldn't quite believe my eyes and had to re-read those paragraphs a few times, the shock was so sudden. Will (and deserves to) do well.
Kat xx (Hens from Hell)

I found chapters 1 and 2 very hard going. So many characters, many with dual names, so many facts, boom boom boom. Convincing, yes, well researched, yes, but readable and engaging, no - sorry. I actually had to double check that you'd tagged this as a novel. However! However! Once you get into chapter 3, the people suddenly become real, the cause is real, the end of the chapter very horribly real. It isn't my kind of preferred read, but I can see that from there on, this is a polished piece of work. I'd just say - reserve the first two chapters, and think of the book as starting at chapter 3.