Out By The Roots

Hi Suzan

I like the dialogue in this - it really pushes the plot forward, and it's rural without it being OTT!

I've added this to my bookshelf.

Good luck with it.

Cheers

Simon

Suzan,

I like the direction you choose in Out By The Roots. Green-lit stories that provide apocalyptic warning, while also allowing the people in the predicament to laugh, live, hump, and be individually messed up (don't let enlightened Awareness strip us of these most human attributes) shall be very welcome in addressing the future. Congrats.

Robert

I have added this to my book list...
I can not wait to finish reading it.
Yvonne

Suzan,

I think this is a cool premise. I'm not sure what your audience is - I have a feel the light-hearted tone might suit YA. I did feel at times it was too heavy on the dialogue. That would be OK with me, except this is a future world in which things are obviously different, as the dialogue attests. I personally would like to 'see' that difference as well. Similiarly the first scene with Chloe, I'm not getting pictures of how old he is. Since the entire chapter seems to be written in omniscient POV, you could easily add a few words as to how attractive he is. I think you need a bit more description overall. Not much, please, but just a bit.

Hi to Susan and Simon!

Thanks for your comments on OBTR - very much to the point and I agree totally. My own feeling is that the first chapter needs to grab you by the throat more, but to do that properly I feel I should write up the remaining chapters and then go back to the beginning. I will address that ASAP in 2009, but right now I'm doing another book of horse jokes which is taking up many, many hours. And Simon, you're right - the problem with OBTR is that it doesn't fit into any pre-defined genres, because it's a mixture of comedy/farce with almost Sci-Fi/Sci-Fan. I don't know how to get around this - only hope, I suspect, that a publisher will one day take a flyer on it as it is becoming more and more topical by the day. Funny, that; I first came up with the idea nearly 10 years ago.

Anyway thanks again for your comments! Simon - I have directed a great friend of mine to read your work and she will become your number one fan, as she loves Sci-Fi and particularly Dr Who. Susan - Fae is still on my watchlist, and on my mind.

Hi Suzan, this is pretty funny. The pitch struck me as such a great central idea, which always helps - and the funny thing is, I'm a great fan of the old BBC show Survivors where, for different causes, society is driven back to the fields as it were, and what you have here carries inevitable resonances of that for me, but with the added and unexpected twist of humour. Even your scenario here could so easily have been written as something quite grim and gritty, but the light and quite cheeky comic tone works. Nice touches of description and turns of phrase and a good collection of colourful characters, I could easily imagine following this community in a sitcom or some such. Commercially speaking it's a bit of an oddity, and I don't feel qualified to say whether this would find a market - I'd hope so, *because* it's unusual and original. I think some minor editing to trim and tighten up the prose (in accordance with what Vicadia mentions previously) a little would be called for, but nothing drastic, and as reads go I found it breezes along quite nicely, with fresh and lively exchanges of dialogue. Other than that, good job and best of luck with this.

Suzan, Out By The Roots is a brilliant premise, and very well-written. Couldn't fault it, and on my revolving shelf it goes.

BTW - I see empty slots on your bookshelf. You get zero points for shelving your own books: your Talent Spotter ranking improves as you shelve other peoples' work - and increases as their work moves up the chart.

Suzan, Likewise, Roots on my watchlist. Seeya. Pierre.