Ozoneraser

I started reading this earlier on today, and I was instantly hooked. I was a bit confused about all the different points of view, but at the same time I think it worked. After reading through the comments and then I saw your explanation of how it would eventually have a main character at chapter 7, until then it was victims POV, I thought it was a great idea. Now though I'm just waiting for more,
Good luck with this and I hope you succeed with it!
Josh Hodge
The Legend of Xerio

This is a terrific thriller. I will buy this when it hits the store shelves!
Backed with pleasure. Thoroughly enjoyed what I have read and sure this millions of other thriller adicts will get their fix when they turn the pages of this masterpiece.
laurence Howard,
The Cross of Goa

Wow, what a ride! I like the way you introduced your characters, and the way you introduced the modern advances of technology like we should already know what they are. Brilliant! Great writing skills, and tight editing. The first chapter grabs you and sucks you in. The reader can't help but turn the pages!! Great job! And this is your first book?!! I am giving you six stars and putting you on my bookshelf. Looking forward to many pleasurable trips into your imagination----you do have more books in progress, right?! I hope so. The only error I found was In the first chapter, first paragraph you made a typo in the sentence that begins "He was enjoyed"


Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

Looks like you are on your way to a bestseller! The plot is fascinating and refreshing in that this is one fantasy plot that is so different from any I've read in the past. It's exciting and brilliant and keeps the reader hanging on to every word and anxious to turn the page. I look forward to seeing this reach the ED. I will be backing this.

Debbie Martin
IN THE FAMILY WAY

P.S. My book is so entirely different from yours, but I would appreciate any feedback and backing. Thanks. DM

I have had the privy of reading more than these few chapters and can tell you it just gets better as you read on and you get more engrossed with the technological genius of the writer.

This book is a must hit the book stores and theaters.

Can't wait to get to the ending, I am certain it will blow my mind!!

Denise Juanita

exciting! can't wait to read more and I love the style, so different!

Very interesting, included many topics here, terrorism, military to chemical sustance. Please do complete, your readers want to know more. Good book, rated high.

Your manuscript has gone through a lot of changes, and it looks great. Well done. Happy to back it again. :-)

I just finished reading through chapter 2 and even though this isn't my normal choice of reads I truly enjoyed it.
The book seems paced perfectly and keeps the reader in suspense and drawn in.
What a frightening idea of everything and everybody simply disappearing. I think this book will do very well and gave it a high star rating and it will remain on my WL until I have time to read more.
Well done;
Elke
'Ella In Beetween'

hi there and thanks for the enjoyable read, I'm an SF fan so it went down well. How did you get a SF book on 302 bookshelves? My advice? I'd bring forward the introduction of the protagonist to Ch 1. Also I'd be very careful with ideas of simplistic American Patriotism. I know many people would argue that US policy has disappeared far more than 8 million innocents over the years. That said it's a great read and well written.

Just read your first chapter. Very interested in your idea and how it will develop. I certainly think that this is a very exciting read. I thought that all the dialogue in this chapter did slow things down although it obviously it gave a great deal of information.All in all though, an interesting opening and i will certainly be reading back.

Really good read. gets you from the first chapter. I love the characters and the storyline. WELL DONE.

Peter Timmins THE SNOW KING

"Ozoneraser" - Venkatarama S. Dandibhotra. I read the 1st two chapters and scanned several comments. Stars and a quick bookshelf for interesting plot. Some thoughts: chapter one might work better if you reorder the sequence, perhaps using the 911 background story as prologue; it's "aircraft carrier" in chapter 2; maybe think about using "V.S. Dandibhotra" - cover artwork layout may work better that way and particularly if you move the title down to 25% - 35% from the top; Hope this helps.

GIdeon (Thrill Writer's Remorse)

Hi Gldeon,
Thank you very much for your valuable comments/suggestions. I will definitely consider during my next edit.

"Ozoneraser" - Venkatarama S. Dandibhotra. I read the 1st two chapters and scanned several comments. Stars and a quick bookshelf for interesting plot. Some thoughts: chapter one might work better if you reorder the sequence, perhaps using the 911 background story as prologue; it's "aircraft carrier" in chapter 2; maybe think about using "V.S. Dandibhotra" - cover artwork layout may work better that way and particularly if you move the title down to 25% - 35% from the top; Hope this helps.

GIdeon (Thrill Writer's Remorse)

This is a well written story that will be published someday. I have given your high stars for your work.

Wow! Hope this makes it to the editor's desk. You've crafted quite a story here. Happy to place your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck.
Sue50

Be happy to back it again, sir, v.best of luck. (And if you can spare a moment, a glance over Dawn of Shadows would be much appreciated).

Jack

Amazing to think this is your first novel - you write with such skill that one would assume you have a string of books behind you. Ozoneraser is not the genre I would usually read, but the topic is so relevant and the possibilities you explore intriguing. Brilliantly imagined and very-well written.
Highly starred from me today and will keep it on my WL.
Maria (Georgina's Family)

Oh, my- the scary thing is that this is possible. You have touched on another dimension,or new technology..
For sure it is well conceived and very interesting.
Well written, curious at what happens next.
Christine May

I started reading this earlier on today, and I was instantly hooked. I was a bit confused about all the different points of view, but at the same time I think it worked. After reading through the comments and then I saw your explanation of how it would eventually have a main character at chapter 7, until then it was victims POV, I thought it was a great idea. Now though I'm just waiting for more,
Good luck with this and I hope you succeed with it!
Josh Hodge
The Legend of Xerio

This book has a lot of elements that would make it a winner. I am glad to see you've completed it, and I anxiously await tomorrow, when I can read more of it.

This is a terrific thriller. I will buy this when it hits the store shelves!
Backed with pleasure. Thoroughly enjoyed what I have read and sure this millions of other thriller adicts will get their fix when they turn the pages of this masterpiece.
laurence Howard,
The Cross of Goa

I am proud to have read this book it makes me feel pride for yu to have written it. it should be a classic one day all should read this for enjoyment

Nearly there, my friend. Keep going.

Not my first choice of genre but found myself getting in to this quite quickly! I surprised myself by contining to read more than I had intended. On my WL and highly starred (can't wait to see what you think of my chick-lit MS) :-)

Wow. Your book has made its way to a lot of shelves and I can see why. It is a well written thriller that mixes science fiction with elements of our modern world. You have a gift for keeping the reader pulled in. This is definitely the kind of book I could get into. Thanks for the read. High stars on this one.

This is indeed a unique idea, Venkatarama. You write well and your dialogue is pretty good too. Can't really add much more than that because this isn't the kind of story I read, so not qualified to crit too deeply.

Best of luck, Venkatarama,

Lisa. x

Rated 5-star. Hope to see more.

What a fantastic idea!
I was a little uncertain at first, but as I read, I became engulfed in the action.
I love the new technoloy you have introduced - it adds to the story by illustrating the passage of time (into the future) and how the world had moved on with new inventions.
Going to have to put this straight onto my shelf and give top stars!
Cheers,
Mike.
(Rudolf Goes Bananas)

Just read the first chapter of your novel and it captures the attention straight away. Absolutely loved it and will definitely read on. I would love to see this in print and would definitely buy it to see the outcome. Well done!!

Lainie :)

Wow, what a ride! I like the way you introduced your characters, and the way you introduced the modern advances of technology like we should already know what they are. Brilliant! Great writing skills, and tight editing. The first chapter grabs you and sucks you in. The reader can't help but turn the pages!! Great job! And this is your first book?!! I am giving you six stars and putting you on my bookshelf. Looking forward to many pleasurable trips into your imagination----you do have more books in progress, right?! I hope so. The only error I found was In the first chapter, first paragraph you made a typo in the sentence that begins "He was enjoyed"


Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

I am very impressed. You have a great story here. You are a very talented writer with a great imagination. I rate you highly and wish you lots of success.

Hi Brian
I am happy to see your constructive comments.
1. I will follow your suggestion about prologue. I thought it will gain reader's interest.
2. It may be due to font. it was not in itallics in my script. I will look about it.
3. I mean human suicide nuclear bomb. I will change it.
4. If you read carefully how Brittany decided to marry Darryl, you will get it.
5. Ambulatory services is a typo. I will edit it.
6. Good point. but dogs don't fall suddenly in front. The trees fell as a sudden and still auto pilot response is to sharply turn 90 degrees and stop.
7. You are right. The president is the leading character, but he cannot enter into the story until it reaches certain stage. In fact he comes into the story as lead in seventh chapter, by that time the death/disappearance toll reaches 8 millions. By that time Washington, including the White house and the First lady have disappeared. Until then, the story runs through victim's point of view and media resources.
Once again thank you very much for your observations. I will edit the chapters soon.


venkatarama dandibhotla

This is a very exciting concept, with a mysterious and deadly phenomenon dissolving people by the thousands. Here are a few notes:

Prologue & Chapter One

Kill the prologue. I know prologues of this kind are conventional wisdom, but convention wisdom produces a lot of bad books. The prologue doesn't tell us anything, but it does rob you of the shock and surprise you would otherwise have at the end of Chapter One. And it being a verbatim quote from Chapter Two doesn't make me think it should stay, either.

Why is the passage that begins "He gained such recognition" in italics? It it meant to be something Malcolm is thinking? You don't use italics to indicate internal dialogue elsewhere. If it's meant as emphasis, I advise using italics on three or four words at most, not whole sentences and paragraphs.

In referring to the terrorist attack on Port Elizabeth, you refer to a "man-made nuclear bomb". Why make the distinction? Is there another kind of nuclear bomb?

In the incident where Darryl falls down the stairs in his armor in Brittany's flashback, why does Darryl have his armor on at all? Was he wearing it during their date? Did he put it on while he was upstairs? Why does he have it at home? Modern soldiers don't typically keep their combat equipment at home - is it different in the future? Why doesn't Darryl's armor protect him when he falls, and prevent him from losing consciousness? Isn't that the point of armor? And Darryl doesn't seem like much of a war hero if he can't even get down the stairs in his own home in his armor without suffering a head injury. Lastly, why would his clumsily falling down the stairs make Brittany's opinion of him change from "backwater hick" to "future husband"?

Chapter Two

You refer to "Ambulatory Services", but I think you mean "Ambulance Services". "Ambulatory" and "ambulance" are false cognates.

It seems unlikely that people would use an automobile autopilot that isn't smart enough to prevent the car from smashing into a tree lying in the road. If it can't avoid something the size of a tree, how does it avoid dogs? Deer? Pedestrians? Brick walls?

Having reached the end of chapter two, I'm curious who the main character is supposed to be. Is it the President? It seems like every other character you have introduced has become a victim of the vanishing. Who am I following, exactly?

This is a very exciting concept, with a mysterious and deadly phenomenon dissolving people by the thousands. Here are a few notes:

Prologue & Chapter One

Kill the prologue. I know prologues of this kind are conventional wisdom, but convention wisdom produces a lot of bad books. The prologue doesn't tell us anything, but it does rob you of the shock and surprise you would otherwise have at the end of Chapter One. And it being a verbatim quote from Chapter Two doesn't make me think it should stay, either.

Why is the passage that begins "He gained such recognition" in italics? It it meant to be something Malcolm is thinking? You don't use italics to indicate internal dialogue elsewhere. If it's meant as emphasis, I advise using italics on three or four words at most, not whole sentences and paragraphs.

In referring to the terrorist attack on Port Elizabeth, you refer to a "man-made nuclear bomb". Why make the distinction? Is there another kind of nuclear bomb?

In the incident where Darryl falls down the stairs in his armor in Brittany's flashback, why does Darryl have his armor on at all? Was he wearing it during their date? Did he put it on while he was upstairs? Why does he have it at home? Modern soldiers don't typically keep their combat equipment at home - is it different in the future? Why doesn't Darryl's armor protect him when he falls, and prevent him from losing consciousness? Isn't that the point of armor? And Darryl doesn't seem like much of a war hero if he can't even get down the stairs in his own home in his armor without suffering a head injury. Lastly, why would his clumsily falling down the stairs make Brittany's opinion of him change from "backwater hick" to "future husband"?

Chapter Two

You refer to "Ambulatory Services", but I think you mean "Ambulance Services". "Ambulatory" and "ambulance" are false cognates.

It seems unlikely that people would use an automobile autopilot that isn't smart enough to prevent the car from smashing into a tree lying in the road. If it can't avoid something the size of a tree, how does it avoid dogs? Deer? Pedestrians? Brick walls?

Having reached the end of chapter two, I'm curious who the main character is supposed to be. Is it the President? It seems like every other character you have introduced has become a victim of the vanishing. Who am I following, exactly?

Hi Venkatarama ...

This certainly deserves a spell on the shelf. A well written Sci-Fi thriller that grips from the first sentence. The characters are good and plot is original and unusual. Dialogue is for the most parts realistic and strong. I have not yet decided who the central character is so cannot comment there.

The only problem is, as you must know from being on this site, there is not enough time to read as much as one would like. Backed and rated. Regards ... Duncan.

"Ozoneraser". What a dramatic and poignant close to the first chapter! And the ensuing chapters variously keep readers absorbed, whatever their knowledge or experience.
However,I have serious doubts whether they, or the Editor's reviewer, will reach that far. At least,I was put off by the many lapses which suggest, not just faulty knowledge of the English language or careless editing, but lack of familiarity with your setting, of the history of the last 20 years, generally leaving your reader mystified.
e.g. Chap,1, 3.45 pm: "Sergeant Major" should be "Sergeant-Major," This error continues throughout.
"Medal of Honor". No, "Congressional Medal", etc.
"excited and blinked A car engine Darryl ...." ???
"Overly excited teenage couple" "Overly-excited
"Hey, I'm trying . . . burning down Brittany" . . . . !!!!
"If you're the one cooking /?/," she said.

8.15 pm. The given recent history of the world is extremely puzzling. Why no mention of the Underground bombings in London? Why Tokyo? Berlin? Edinburgh? Port Elizabeth? (not Port of). "England" in this context? Don't you mean "Britain"?
Darryl's explanation of the historical situation is stilted and unreal in a dialogue inserted between all the horseplay,etc, of the friends. And again, the capture and execution of Osama Bin Laden being ignored, it leaves a reader of today mystified about the time-setting of this story,
If such errors and confusions can be eradicated, or the whole carefully re-written, I see the possibility of a thrilling
story, whatever the genre, emerging.
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes".

"Ozoneraser". What a dramatic and poignant close to the first chapter! And the ensuing chapters variously keep readers absorbed, whatever their knowledge or experience.
However,I have serious doubts whether they, or the Editor's reviewer, will reach that far. At least,I was put off by the many lapses which suggest, not just faulty knowledge of the English language or careless editing, but lack of familiarity with your setting, of the history of the last 20 years, generally leaving your reader mystified.
e.g. Chap,1, 3.45 pm: "Sergeant Major" should be "Sergeant-Major," This error continues throughout.
"Medal of Honor". No, "Congressional Medal", etc.
"excited and blinked A car engine Darryl ...." ???
"Overly excited teenage couple" "Overly-excited
"Hey, I'm trying . . . burning down Brittany" . . . . !!!!
"If you're the one cooking /?/," she said.

8.15 pm. The given recent history of the world is extremely puzzling. Why no mention of the Underground bombings in London? Why Tokyo? Berlin? Edinburgh? Port Elizabeth? (not Port of). "England" in this context? Don't you mean "Britain"?
Darryl's explanation of the historical situation is stilted and unreal in a dialogue inserted between all the horseplay,etc, of the friends. And again, the capture and execution of Osama Bin Laden being ignored, it leaves a reader of today mystified about the time-setting of this story,
If such errors and confusions can be eradicated, or the whole carefully re-written, I see the possibility of a thrilling
story, whatever the genre, emerging.
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes".

I read through the first chapter and it's still not my genre, but you certainly write quite well. Very imaginative! My bookshelf is full but I'll give you high stars and wish you all the best!

Patti

Ozoneraser is accessible sci-fi for a wider readership because the characters have the quality of everyday people. Darryl, the war hero who wants only to be a regular guy, is particularly well done. Great thriller.
Rosalind Barden
American Witch

Wow! What an interesting story! Very engaging, very well written and definitely a thriller. My only comment is that I found the chapter a little long. But over all, an excellent story so far.

Dyane
The Eagle's Gift
he Purple Morrow

Thanks for reaching out to me. I've backed, watchlisted and starred your work based on the primise alone. I will give you a read soon when I can make the time to do it. I'm not big on commenting as I feel that I'm not qualified. If you get a moment please check out my work "Out Of Orleans" and give me your support if you like it. Thanks in advance and Happy New Year! Lee 1 Love~

As per your request I will support you and back your book, however this is not exactly my genre. Nonetheless, there are some issues with your sentence structuring and writing in whole. First, the prologue. Editors don't like them. Why? Many reasons and the biggest one is they give answers for what readers have no questions yet. Particularlly yours. It seems as if it's written from no one's POV. It is just there to confuse. The sentence structure e.g. "He was enjoyed being a regular guy, . . . " Unlcear. Besides, you already used the word enjoy in the sentence above. And that brings us to another issue. Watch out for echoing words, you have one in almost every paragraph. This is telling> "After a few seconds he realized Brittany wasn't in the room." And so is the entire ending paragraph. Show us instead how did he realized? I know it's toward the end of the chapter where we all starting to get tired and just want to end it, but can't do this to our readers.
Watch for the use of passive language. Tad too many sentences with was, were, had been where you can reword it to make it more active especially to draw the reader in with the action.
These short scenes going back and froth between upstairs and downstairs do not work, I'm afraid. Pick a character and stick with him to the end of the chapter. Or make the scenes longer.

You have an interesting idea and great pacing. Your voice comes off clear and the progression seems fine, but sadly this isn't a genre I tend to read a lot. I do wish you the best of luck on reaching the editor's desk. Sorry I couldn't a bigger help.

Auna June
Catalaysia: The Curse of Five

I've read through your first chapter. It's a novel concept but I really feel the work needs to be pared down. There's far too much back story, the adulation the Sergeant Major receives is unconvincing (special forces guys tend to remain pretty shadowy and private) and there's too much time spent around the barbecue. In writing science fiction I feel you have to be careful not to introduce gadgets and things just to show you can, which is a bit how it feels. I'm afraid I also find it very hard to believe that we will ever eradicate terrorists - or even came close to doing so in Afghanistan. They're all over the world. Kill one and more pop up, like the Hydra's heads.

Having said all of that, I think an editor could do a lot with it and I wish you every success.

Hi. This is not an obvious read for me, but I think it's well-written for the most part. I did wonder, however, whether the bedtime scene between Brittany and Kathy doen't go on a bit long; the minutiae of her going-to-bed ritual don't really speed the story along, unless they're directly relevant...
Hoping you'll take a look at 'Jelly-Boy', assuming, that is, that you can bear the thought of a teenager eating and cooking a dead sea-gull!

diffrent

Venkateraman,
Interesting concept. Interesting story. Highly suspenseful and nice technological imagery.
The name "Darryl Jamal Malcolm" is problematic if he is a white American. The name Jamal is used almost exclusively by the black community and would NEVER be used by a white family to name their child. Suggest changing Jamal to John or James.
Suggest following changes to Chapter 1: Roger's statement, "Just can't get enough of your nation celebrating your return, Sarge." Sounds very foreign. Suggest changing it to: "Just can't get enough of all that adulation, eh Sarge?"

Also, the broadcast, "We here in the US are proud to welcome home the heroes of our nation, the 7 soldiers whose recent endeavors helped to end the final conflict with the al-Jihad terrorist group." Sounds too much like Soviet propaganda. Suggest changing it to, "Hardeeville welcomes home our own homegrown heroes, the 7 soldiers who helped bring down a deadly terrorist cell."

Huge problem with this statement as Catholic priests do not marry and do not have children/families:
"Meeting Darryl was her father's fault. As the only daughter of a Catholic priest." For the past 2,000 years, Catholic priests are celibate. You can change it to Anglican priest, Episcopalian priest or Lutheran pastor.

Good luck!
Sophie Schiller

An exciting pitch.
I couldn't wait to read this book after reading the pitch, and I wasn't disappointed. This is an exciting, fresh, new idea, and I believe it will be a book no one will be able to put down. We all have that the constant fear of changing times in the back of our minds; of terrorist attacks and war. This is a realistic, and scientific, modern approach, of what possibly could happen. It makes the mind wander - with maybe a bit of fantasy in ther too?
The beginning with the news reporter was excellent, possibly one of the best on the site to get me hooked straight away, and immediately I felt I was watching an action movie.
There was a sentance which didn't sound as good as it could(I thought) ;
'Oh my GOSH! He just disappeared! Did you see that? That guy just vanished! Zoom in on the helicopter, something FUNNY is happening.'
You repeat this sentance in chapter two. I feel the word gosh should be stronger - maybe God, or something else entirely. Would you say it was funny if you saw someone vanishing?. I think really strange or weird, at the least .
Anyhow there's just one more nit pic, and that's the length.With it being so action packed it probably doesn't need it, but it would probably improve it by shortening your chapters, especially the first few, and finishing them on one of the peak moments e.g when someone disapears.
You write extremely well, and your dialogue is good. Your characters are described well and I love the way you have created a picture of valentines day.
You have done a brilliant job of writing dates, and stating where your characters are at certain times, when the incident first occurs. And I love the way you have begun the book reporting the incident, then going back in time to the day the incident occurs. You have done this well.
Chapter two begins just as good as chapter one. Its written like a police statement about the incident.

As the story goes on it continues to interest the reader. This is definitely a book that can't be put down.
I love it, and I'm backing it. 6 stars.
Junetee(Four Corners)
(Hope you can now return the read as we agreed some days ago)

Have read chapter one, very good so far with an interesting plot. I like your take on the future.

This is really great. Your dialog is awesome!! I also like the way you describe the technologies. In my opinion they might be a little advanced for 10 years from now, but I think you have a great vision. Also, I think the story is very fresh and original.

There are some things that I picked out.

1) The chapters are kind of long, you might want to break them up a little.

2) alright should be all right

3) in the 3rd chapter you say "good-paying American citizen" I think it might sound better as "good tax-paying American"

4) I love your dialog, but there a lot of tags (i.e. he said, she said) too many are distracting. I would go through and see where you can minimize. I think it would read a lot smoother.

I am starring and I will back later.

NerdGirl

I'm not up on current science fiction, like I said in my profile, E. E. Smith and Heinlin are more my speed. This has a lot in common with them, however, especially Smith, where people who are better than most of us are mixed with fantasy technology in an overwhelming conflict with evil.

I think you have, however, the wrong take on terrorism. A supercell of terrorists is straight out of James Bond. Real terrorism is more bottom up and grass roots, which is why the US has had so much trouble in Afganistan and Iraq. An organization such as al Quaeda, especially an organization with lots of money, can direct this terrorism into big projects but without the overall organization, the terrorism just shows itself in smaller acts. Look a Somolia.

By the way, when did you write this? A lot of it sounds as if it were written shortly after 9/11 and you are just getting around to sharing it now.

Matt Brennesholtz
Orphan of Greenwich Village

Proof reading is your best tool. You are missing a few words in some sentences, and that causes confusion. Also, Tense: (-ed to -es) Past tense to present tense, in particular in the last sentence of chapter 1, threw me for a loop. Is this intentional?
Otherwise, the plot and action have interest. I'll continue with chapter 2, soon.

Wow. Have read all 3. Just a little niggle for this site the chapters are way too long split them up and the action and pace of the narrative will increase immensely.
Although SCIFI isn't particularly my thing this is very well written with a shocking view of the future. enjoy? well maybe there should be another word for a book like this...
will star you at the moment the shelf will have to wait for space ....
:)
diane

Hello Diane,

Thanks a lot for reading 'Ozoneraser' and I am really glad that it has appealed to you. I feel your observations are quite right and will incorporate these changes during my next edit.

Thanks Once Again.
Venkatarama

Wow. Have read all 3. Just a little niggle for this site the chapters are way too long split them up and the action and pace of the narrative will increase immensely.
Although SCIFI isn't particularly my thing this is very well written with a shocking view of the future. enjoy? well maybe there should be another word for a book like this...
will star you at the moment the shelf will have to wait for space ....
:)
diane

You write well, and the scene where Brittany and her Mum dissolve is wonderfully horrible (the empty wedding ring - typo: no 'ring' in the text - a nice piece of pathos).
But I'm afraid I cannot find your original premise convincing. Perhaps I am too cynical, but even in an alternative history I can't see the world uniting in concerted action even with a significant foe, and similarly your statement that your hero had 'eradicated the last known terrorist cell' seemed unlikely to the point of alienating me. You'd need some sort of social idyll to explain it. (As long as there is even perceived injustice, there'll be terrorists).
I'm glad you can envision such a world, but I'm afraid I can't follow you there...

Sorry to be so critical. I'm glad others like your work.

Lindsay
A Priest's Tale