When Fear Comes Home to Love:finding the path to the place you never left

Dear Leelah,
I felt quite breathless reading your book -- the sense of something unique and deep and bigger than ourselves --and as I read on a lovely peace settled in and I felt I was "in the flow" of the narrative. This is the kind of book I wouldn't even consider critiquing - it is a place to explore and meditate. I love it, and I believe you've written an important contribution to spiritual works. Brava. I will continue to read for inspiration. Thank you for sharing with us.
Lizzi

Dear Leelah,

Your book is a most precious gift to me as a reader!

What an adventure into the dark corners of us humans - and the wonderful thing is that by you seeing the needs behind your own and other peoples painful feelings and destructive behaviors - you are actually able to set yourself free - and I as a reader join the ride by melting into a very loving and forgiving place in myself! So I actually get at taste of freedom, too - that is what I call a powerful read!!! I LOVE books that touches me deeply and in a transformative way, like your book does to me. That is actually the kind of books I am searching for - and I find them quite rare!

And another thing - even though your book covers very painful issues of abuse etc - it is sprinkled with so much humor, playfulness and curiosity, that the heaviness evaporates into something light and peaceful, filled with insights and love.

I love the way you use stories from real life - either your own or case studies from your clients - it makes it so convincing. I find it so much more interesting to read about somebody that have been struggling with existential issues in life and found a way to handle them - than books only telling me in a normative way how I "should live my life".

I actually think that your book is a wonderful answer to the so-called "problem of evil" in the world - through your story you show in a truthful, wise and loving way that there is actually no evil person, just a lot of very destructive behavior, covering up for a persons deepest fears! I love this way of seeing the world :-)

On my iPhone, I write down quotes which inspire me - and I keep reading them again and again as a way of reminding me of what I value in life. And your book has been a wonderful source for such quotes - here are a few of them:

"All addicts are pieces of God, forgetting Who they are. Look upon them with this knowing, and you look upon you."

"In our everyday life, we experience that what we avoid doing something with, certainly does something to us, and pursue us - until we stop, turn around and bless it."

"We are the very arena where the primal forces of life and death meet and dance - and as the Divine sparks we are, we have the freedom to play with it."

"What determines your experience is where you place your belief."

"What if we see perpetrators not as being evil - but as being trapped and captured by their own denial and ignorance - which breed evil."

"When we want to bring the characters in The Sacred Tree of Horrors out of their trappedness and their deadly blind repetition, we play with it and invite it into the clear room of nonjudgemental awareness. In Expressive Arts Therapy, there are myriads of ways to play with this. And what a relief: we don't have to figure things out with our mind - but letting it reveal itself to s and surprise us!"

"Inner demons are demons because they are hungry for something they are not getting. [...] We create them by ignoring and judging our painful feelings."

Warmly

Kjersti

Hi Leelah, This is an amazing confrontation with evil and it actually answers the question about the reason for evil. What's so compelling about it is the amalgamation of different thought-systems. And that it's done with a passion for discovery. The Tarot, Christianity, and Buddhism, what I've thought of as being stoic - these come through to support a belief that is convincing! Chapter 5 makes a fable out of this problem with evil or monsters. You've created a kind of prose montage about a particular character and situation. An interesting and affirming reading experience. Shelved - Katherine

Would love to see the illustrations that go with this book. I like the nonlinear layout because healing isn't linear. Powerful stuff written here. A treasure trove of helpful techniques from various sources, ancient to modern, psychological to spiritual, a mix of cultures. I had to stop many times while reading to attend to more of my own stuff being cracked open and exposed for a chance at being healed.

The clear steps taken by Leelah and others to get from the place of hatred of self / others and move into a place of True Forgiveness is wonderfully courageous and of great encouragement.

So many books on mental and emotional healing I have read have fallen short of a deep healing and have left me with the impression of doing just enough to make you adjust your behaviour to be socially acceptable,which is not a bad thing in and of itself it's just that I felt there had to be more to it than that.

I don't just want to survive I want to thrive. For me that means real personal peacefulness and for me this book takes it all the way to a non-dualistic way of perceiving that when understood and gently yet diligently practiced brings deep abiding Peace.

The no holds barred, there is no taboo subject to awful to look at nor to powerful for love to heal attitude in this book is a most awesome and exhilarating "breath of fresh air" that the subject of childhood abuse (sexual or other) has had in a long time.

I have found this book to be a great adjunct to my "A Course In Miracles" studies.

Through out my reading of this book the encounters with darkness that looked so insurmountable and the persistence into light and healing kept bringing up this section of the "Course"(ACIM) to me again and again;
"Have faith in only this one thing, and it will be sufficient: God wills you be in Heaven, and nothing can keep you from it, or it from you. Your wildest misperceptions, your weird imaginings, your blackest nightmares all mean nothing. They will not prevail against the peace God wills for you. The Holy Spirit will restore your sanity because insanity is not the will of God." T 13,XII,7; 1-3

Leelah, You and your clients have shown me what this faith looks like in practice. Thank you all for having the "little willingness" whether you be "Course" students or not you found your inner guidance and stuck with it.

Much gratitude for your sharing.

Wow! What a book... and oh! what a difficult time I have to comment on it.... There are two different forces within me, two different approaches and I really don't know where to start from... Well, unlike my habit so far, I'll start with the unpleasant (reading your book has made me positive that you're a very strong person - I can't possibly tell you how I admire you for this, among other things):

Because I come from a different religious path I found some parts of your book difficult to understand and even if I did, it was difficult to identify with. Terms and language sometimes seems to be addressed to and accessible only by those who share the same (or similar) beliefs - this concerning only the religious part of your book. Though I understand what a savior the Course must have been to your life, sometimes it is as if you're advertising it and this, kind of estranges you from the reader who neither knows about it nor is willing to. For example, I'd much rather you included all those sites and information about the course in a separate part, a kind of Appendix, for those who would indeed have a further interest to it instead of a main chapter in the book. Also, though I realise that it was your inner voice you followed in writing this book, sometimes I found it difficult to follow your thread of thought. And that is all with the unpleasant.

To the most difficult part now... Difficult because I don't know if I'm apt into transmitting and translating all that I experienced reading your book, in this comment. Some of the things you say are... brilliant is a word that comes to mind but yet, this is not enough. Some of the things you say are absolutely true; true to the last cell of my body and the tiniest part of my mind and soul. Reading the 1/3 of the book I thought that it teemed with insight. As I read through I felt peculiarly relaxed and at ease of mind, some peace inside, even in the hardest parts of it. I made a break for a day and then at getting to chapter 20 I suddenly got it: what it teemed with was love. Love that seems to be pouring of every single sentence of your work, love that -in an amazing way- gets right to the subconscious. Your reader, whether realises it or not, whether willingly or not, can't escape from being affected from this massive amount of love reaching out (and aiming at) their heart. On my first (big night) reading your book (that is before I reached chapter 20), I had a dream, which although I'm not capable of explaining, I'm convinced that it was very relevant to the content of your book. I would be very happy to share it with you if you cared.

To what comes to your psychological approach - just flawless (to the extend that my limited knowledge can assure). I adored your approach to fear. Amazingly enough, this has always been my belief and in my novel (if and when I uploaded it here) there's a sentence very (very!) similar to your idea of fear.

What is in the bottom line? You could do with some editing and if you want to reach the non-specialized, not of similar religious thought reader, you might need to consider slight changes to some parts of it (just a subjective opinion though). The rest is amazing, brilliant, invaluable.

Regards,
Evangeline

I think this must be the most profound book on authonomy. I'm not really qualified to comment. I have a friend who is a psychologist and artist and who specialises in colour therapy travelling all over the country to lecture; your book very much reminds me of the way she disc usses life. She would be much more use as a reviewer of this. Like you she is deeply involved with archetypes, mythologies and spiritual healing. You have come to this to deal with your own trauma. I'm attracted to it but feel it's beyond my grasp, possibly because I've been lucky so far in not having much personal experience of Fuckeat types. I know they are there, crushing and destroying and wrecking other people's lives. There's a poem, Prayer Before Birth I think it's called. Some of the lines are 'Let not the man who thinks he is god, or the man who is beast, come near me.'
I love positive nature of the book, the sunniness opposing death and the idea that things should be playful and fun, of course they should! The image of the tree is very powerful too. The book seems partly an
ethics treatise, partly personal experiences and partly a spiritual journey.
I think it is very cleverly done, though like another of your reviewers I found the underlining distracting. Only a minor niggle though. It's a really positive read.

Leelah. What a strange, fascinating, and terrifying book you've produced. I very much respect it, in the sense that I respect all things that were produced out of a deep need and inner necessity. It is totally unlike anything I have ever encountered before, a truly haunting experience. What i like best about it is that it seems to me to be about the healing power of storytelling; this need to speak, to conquer distance by writing, is given such clear and even painful urgency.

I also want to add what lovely penchant for aphorisms you have. " Terror is our friend because it forces us to find that part of ourselves that is indestructible." It's not in front of me now, but I believe that's how it went.

Dear Leelah,

I am so sad to hear of the suffering you have endured. You have been courageous in your pursuit of peace for your soul, hope for the future and answers to the deep questions of life. As a committed Christian I know that the only real hope for our lives is through Christ and I believe He will reveal Himself to anyone who is honestly searching for the truth.

Your writing is deep and poignant, but I found the line of thinking rather hard to follow, since you seem to have merged various beliefs and ideas, so that I cannot see clearly what you perceive as truth.

I think your title is brilliant!

Dear Leelah,
I found your chapter on creativity very interesting, because, when I write I do just that. I follow the story where it needs to go. I don't try and tussle around with it too much. Then later I tinker, carve, polish, stick and paint, until it feels 'right'. I have thought about why this works and why plotting too much (though I do need some) doesn't seem to work for me. I think it may be because your subconcious takes over a little and it is, after all, the culmination of every experience you've ever had, real or imagined, so you get an organic plot which is naturally complex and based on all your experience. What could be better than that!
As a British Indian, I have had good and bad experiences of living in the UK. But all the bad have come out of fears that one human being may have of another due to a difference of some kind. The more we understand fear and examine it, the better life will be for many. Buddhist teaching helps with this, as does psychology, thought and analysis etc.
Your book is admirable and worthy and I am heartened it is doing so well. That says much about how far "civilisation" has come!
All the best,
Sharda.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

Wow, Leeah, you have done an extraordinary job with your book. The thought and time that went into this is beyond anything I've seen on the sight.

Best of luck with this and I can see it is going to be soon on the editor's desk.

Blessings, Joy (God's Gracious Gift)

Dear Leelah

I have been reading chapter 17 and nodding and nodding my head. It is all here: explanations of why we hurt ourselves and others....all clearly set down. I have read many books on Metaphysics, but what is rather special about this offering, is that your information from Blue and your everyday examples of being helped, share with the careful reader practical guidance for understanding and for freedom from fear. If you are like me and always need to ask "Why?" and to understand before committing to action, your book works wonderfully.

I do think this is a book to take slowly. For me, there are also issues of presentation, which could be worked through. One suggestion is to use an idea you had earlier, of a blue font for Blue, rather than the underlining. The underlining feels strangely argumentative, which is the opposite of what you intend from his beautiful words.

You have a work here, a labour of love, which you are no doubt continually refining. With its pictures, it can and will offer many things to many readers: as a source and reference book; as a book which offers practical and amusing advice; a book to teach and inspire students and professionals; a book that could happily grace the libraries of most practitioners of metaphysics.

I wish you every success with its production and publication.

Fran :-))

Leelah,

A beautiful tale of seeing that all ghosts are unreal. How can we fear these forms that are only passing? They never come to stay. And we reach a place where we say enough. Enough of confronting all these ghosts. There will always be a new ghost to take to place of the one that has just been slain. Instead we turn our focus and attention to the Slayer of the ghosts. We no longer focus on the error and overlook the truth. We see that truth is real and erro is error. We put away our ghosts. When they no longer have our attention, they will no longer be of any effect. Thank you for all your encouragement!

Love,

Barbara

Leelah,

A beautiful tale of seeing that all ghosts are unreal. How can we fear these forms that are only passing? They never come to stay. And we reach a place where we say enough. Enough of confronting all these ghosts. There will always be a new ghost to take to place of the one that has just been slain. Instead we turn our focus and attention to the Slayer of the ghosts. We no longer focus on the error and overlook the truth. We see that truth is real and erro is error. We put away our ghosts. When they no longer have our attention, they will no longer be of any effect. Thank you for all your encouragement!

Love,

Barbara

Your prologue is fascinating, wow! I love every sentence/paragraph.

Anyway, let me continue reading

Leelah,
How does one reconcile oneself to the fact that sexual predators like boogie-men lurk in the corners of our lives, ready to pounce when we're at our most vulenrable, such as when we're only four? The only way to tame the beast is to look it in the eye when we're bigger and stronger and say "Now what?" Everyone's met misfortune in varying degrees and the best recompense is to rise above it and be the better for it as attested to by countless success stories from people with a horrendous past. Your book is courageous, its content the ideal forum for much debate in the years to come. The wording is clearcut, the phrasing descriptive. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I love the innocence of this. The simple and terrible truth seen as only a child would see, and told with skill and honesty. I have only had time today for chapter one, however, I will return :0)
Captivating.
Polly

Leelah,

I spent all day yesterday reading this book and finished the chapter on the Central Ghost. then I took all night to reflect on it. The raw honesty has an energy that is bone chilling yet helps the reader understand...Great work.

Wow Leelah,
I spent the whole day yesterday reading this book and a just finished the chapter on the Central Ghost, then I took the night to reflect on it...The raw honesty has a energy that is bone chilling yet gives us an understanding...Great work.

I can see this is your work of art and that you have truly put so much energy into this, Leelah. It's beautifully unique in the way that it is written. Your ability to offer contrast, particularly with personal examples also differentiates this from the mainstream. I hope that those reading it find themselves in the feeling / knowing place & that the resonation allows readers to a better understanding of Who they Really Are. I read 14 chapters & gave it a High rating !

Hi Leelah,
I wish I had the time and the peace to sit and read every word of this book. There are so many things in here that strike a chord in me personally. Abuse does not have to be physical or visible, words hurt equally when a child is subject to them, particularly when one is largely viewed as the unnecessary child. I was particularly interested in the Jekyll and Hyde Family as that was something I could very much relate to.
I think this is an incredible piece of work. I don't feel qualified to critique something of this nature but I feel fortunate to have been able to read it!
Thank you!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

Wow. Very interesting and written very well. I applaud you that you can put this down on paper; share it with others; so we can see where you came from and where you are at now. You are definitely a very good writer and this is a very good book. High stars!! Lacy

Hi Leelah,

I've read the first seven instalments, and as someone who's had the immense good fortune to have led a very stable life with no abuse or manipulation, am not the ideal person to be commenting on a work such as this. Even so, I do recognise the essence of what you're attempting to do (I have to admit I found the early chapters quite hard work - but that's more to do with me not being an analytical person). I do realise that we all have the capacity to be horrendous or wonderful - and all points in between. I've always believed that love is the most powerful emotion we have, and you're very right in trying to get that fact across.

As I say, I've been lucky to have led a life with very little emotional or physical turbulence, so by definition I'm not going to truly 'understand' all the points you make. You're obviously very passionate about helping others who've suffered enormous distress, and you've also made it very clear that we all have a say in whether we can personally turn guilt, shame, self-loathing etc. into the positive emotions we all possess.

I only spotted the one typo (which is pretty impressive on your part). Time is pressing, so I can't say exactly where I saw it - but you mention a 'German Shepard' - presuming there isn't an alternative American spelling, it should be 'Shepherd.'

Jolly best of luck with this, and I hope first and foremost that you are helping a lot of people come to terms with some dreadful things - and that you do help people unlock all the positives that are hidden away - and I'm sure in many cases, very deeply hidden away.

Pete

You were kind enough to back my book and I am sorry it has taken me so long to get to yours. I have dipped into it several times. I can't critique it. It is the kind of book that at one stage in my life might well have saved my life. I have no time at present to do it justice but will read it carefully as soon as i can. I would love to have it as a real book though. Reading it online just does not seem right. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

I am really glad I added your book to my watchlist its so different and refreshing. I have never thought about evil and darkness in this way. I have read only the forward and chapter 1. Really thought provoking on my watchlist Highly starred.

Dear Leelah,

I have only read your Foreword so far, but reading this has been a delight and I look forward to looking at more of your work. I just wanted to say you have a powerful way with words, and you really touch the soul. From some of my own experiences I can identify with what you are saying. Your messages are messages that I aspire to give to readers through my own work, however early it still is.
All the best, I can't wait to read more of this :) Thank you so much for sharing.
Cara

Leelah,
I've read all the way through Child,Part 1. This is fascinating. You've done a great job with a difficult subject. I especially love The Girl and the Monster Who had to Stay Hidden. It was scary and moving and made me want to cry. Thank you for sharing this.
Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

The Girl and the Monster who had to stay hidden.... brought a big knot to my throat. It's not often a book creates this sort of reaction in me. I want to read more. Thank you for sharing Leelah.

Dear Leelah,
I felt quite breathless reading your book -- the sense of something unique and deep and bigger than ourselves --and as I read on a lovely peace settled in and I felt I was "in the flow" of the narrative. This is the kind of book I wouldn't even consider critiquing - it is a place to explore and meditate. I love it, and I believe you've written an important contribution to spiritual works. Brava. I will continue to read for inspiration. Thank you for sharing with us.
Lizzi

Leelah, I don't tend to read self-help or spiritual books and those about the sexual abuse of children are just so painful that I don't search them out, but I have to admit your cover has caught my eye several times, so I decided to give it a try.

I can't do a crit for this, I have no experience to compare it to, but I can see how much you have poured into this, through exploring emotions, belief systems and various theories. It's obvious that you've had some terrible demons to come to terms with, the child and the monster was heart-breaking. It feels to me that this book isn't just a tool to help others come to terms with the abuse they have endured, but also to give you a conduit to express your feelings, to share your journey/studies. Unfortunately, there are far too many who've experienced what you went through and I can understand why there is a need for books such as this, it shows them they aren't alone and that others have been able to get out to the other side. For me, it's provides some insight into how people lock themselves away to cope with the abuse and how difficult it is to let it out and find a way to face it. You seem to have found strength from the various systems you've studied, the fact that you've been able to share your experiences seems some testament to that, and I hope you have happier times ahead.

I read through The Girl and the monster, I am not a smart man, and had difficulty with the concept, but knew I was reading very deep and important work, it goes without saying mind blowing for me, which gave me a great deal to think about.

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Dear Leelah,

Your book is a most precious gift to me as a reader!

What an adventure into the dark corners of us humans - and the wonderful thing is that by you seeing the needs behind your own and other peoples painful feelings and destructive behaviors - you are actually able to set yourself free - and I as a reader join the ride by melting into a very loving and forgiving place in myself! So I actually get at taste of freedom, too - that is what I call a powerful read!!! I LOVE books that touches me deeply and in a transformative way, like your book does to me. That is actually the kind of books I am searching for - and I find them quite rare!

And another thing - even though your book covers very painful issues of abuse etc - it is sprinkled with so much humor, playfulness and curiosity, that the heaviness evaporates into something light and peaceful, filled with insights and love.

I love the way you use stories from real life - either your own or case studies from your clients - it makes it so convincing. I find it so much more interesting to read about somebody that have been struggling with existential issues in life and found a way to handle them - than books only telling me in a normative way how I "should live my life".

I actually think that your book is a wonderful answer to the so-called "problem of evil" in the world - through your story you show in a truthful, wise and loving way that there is actually no evil person, just a lot of very destructive behavior, covering up for a persons deepest fears! I love this way of seeing the world :-)

On my iPhone, I write down quotes which inspire me - and I keep reading them again and again as a way of reminding me of what I value in life. And your book has been a wonderful source for such quotes - here are a few of them:

"All addicts are pieces of God, forgetting Who they are. Look upon them with this knowing, and you look upon you."

"In our everyday life, we experience that what we avoid doing something with, certainly does something to us, and pursue us - until we stop, turn around and bless it."

"We are the very arena where the primal forces of life and death meet and dance - and as the Divine sparks we are, we have the freedom to play with it."

"What determines your experience is where you place your belief."

"What if we see perpetrators not as being evil - but as being trapped and captured by their own denial and ignorance - which breed evil."

"When we want to bring the characters in The Sacred Tree of Horrors out of their trappedness and their deadly blind repetition, we play with it and invite it into the clear room of nonjudgemental awareness. In Expressive Arts Therapy, there are myriads of ways to play with this. And what a relief: we don't have to figure things out with our mind - but letting it reveal itself to s and surprise us!"

"Inner demons are demons because they are hungry for something they are not getting. [...] We create them by ignoring and judging our painful feelings."

Warmly

Kjersti

Oh boy.Talk about a head spin. There is so much about this that I do not understand but, thank heaven, a lot that I do. I have been reading for a while. It is complicated. When I was in college, years ago, a very wise philosophy instructor took us to her home in the country. We (the class) were handed an apple and told to go into her back yard, find a place to sit and close our eyes.This was to continue for an hour. We were to take in all the sounds, get in touch with our inner beings, and when we met again we would discuss what we had felt and experienced during that afternoon. We were to eat the apple last of all. It was amazing what was heard and felt without visual distraction. Over simplifying and self-realization 101? Perhaps, but she was a very wise woman and wanted us open to what was possible during that simple exercise, many began to understand the possibilities of galaxies of meaning we miss with our 'everyday.' I will continue to read. Shirley Grace

Hi Leelah,

The Girl and The Monster made me cry.
The Jekyll Family and other following chapters explained and taught me an understanding.

I can't say that I understand the content fully, my spirituality is a simple one and thankfully it seems to be free of a lot of fear and evil. But I can understand and appreciate the aims of your book.. it seems like a very courageous approach to healing, showing people to accept evil and then transcend beyond it. I imagine that, for the right reader, your work will be completely life-changing.

I'm sure that if I take enough time to read the whole thing thoroughly I will discover lots about myself and the nature of humans.

You should be proud to have created something that could end up saving people's lives and their faith.

Adam

Thanks for this. I read the Foreword, Introduction and ch20, which is 6, Central Ghost / Primal Fear, 4 Transformation of Demons in the Potter’s House. The account of visiting Father Donagh O’Shea in Ennismore, and making clay demons.

Plenty I found very helpful: “Neutral just so energy” and “What you resist persists.”

I definitely have an ego problem. I always think I’m, “really here, in a body, in a world” when I’m really just stringing myself along. I definitely only identify with, “the body and not a being of spirit.”

“A fear structure as a defense against guilt” makes sense. Very good. Thank you. Very useful.

Thanks for giving me the chance to clarify, if just a little. I appreciate your honesty very much.
The book would like to share a process of awakening: from identifying with being a terrorised traumavictim, to somebody in a stage of awakening who sees psychiatry and psychology as means to fix the dream, instead of waking up from it.
My belief and understanding is that the world IS a dream/an illusion. I am sharing a bonafide path out of it - and out of suffering. I have worked with therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists for over 30 years, and it "fixed" me to some degree - what it did not do, was give me inner peace. And I want that. I want on a permanent basis what you describe as natural wisdom - and no religions, no dogmas.
The Course - which thought-system works so well for me - would never "cast away an evil ego," :-) but realize it as illusion - recognizing the Love inside as the only true identity in absolutely everybody. So it is not about "reducing" humanity's demons - but seeing them as illusions, created out of ignorance.
When you write" be helped by the word of God" that would place the ones who needs help and "God" in two different categories = religion = separation. The Course - and my book is about waking up to complete union, as the true nature of us all.
The Course is suitable for those who have struggled and suffered and are pissed and want another way to look at it - the world - and themselves - with no "outer" authority who has all the right answers.

When I started reading this I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. It is in the main, or so I see it, an academic book. that appears to me at this early stage to be about helping with the trauma in peoples' lives through the word of God etc. It seems about confronting "evil" and coaxing it out into the open so that it may shrivel up in the light/sun that is "goodness" - is it about reducing the role of the "demons" in those that are suffering? Does this mean that psychiatry/psychology is defunct, and that really we should set that to one side and concentrate on the Holy Trinity? You see if you don't believe, then it would seem you are accussed by those who do believe, that you have not awakened to your true spirit. eh? I mean what is a true spirit? I suppose that must be one that's awakened to its true spirit and cast aside its ego?

It is difficult for me to explain in the full view of your work/book, but I do not have a faith, nor do I have a God. Obviously I am here to try to comment on your book, and whether I believe or not in the tarot cards, God, Buddhism is neither here nor there. I love wisdom though. I love the natural state of humanity, and see the growth of so-called "civilisation" particularly in the western world, as a corrupting influence on man's natural happiness and freedom, by creating false hopes, inequality of wealth, and social privileges. that of course is another discussion, and I 'm transgressing.

Your book to me is very complex. i suppose like the root of the tree it goes in many directions seeking the sustenence it needs to survive and grow. I was reading one passsage at a time, which produced so many questions - primarily questions about faith and what it means in the world. And so it goes on and I'm afraid I have to draw a line underneath my ignorance for the time being - Mick

When I started reading this I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. It is in the main, or so I see it, an academic book. that appears to me at this early stage to be about helping with the trauma in peoples' lives through the word of God etc. It seems about confronting "evil" and coaxing it out into the open so that it may shrivel up in the light/sun that is "goodness" - is it about reducing the role of the "demons" in those that are suffering? Does this mean that psychiatry/psychology is defunct, and that really we should set that to one side and concentrate on the Holy Trinity? You see if you don't believe, then it would seem you are accussed by those who do believe, that you have not awakened to your true spirit. eh? I mean what is a true spirit? I suppose that must be one that's awakened to its true spirit and cast aside its ego?

It is difficult for me to explain in the full view of your work/book, but I do not have a faith, nor do I have a God. Obviously I am here to try to comment on your book, and whether I believe or not in the tarot cards, God, Buddhism is neither here nor there. I love wisdom though. I love the natural state of humanity, and see the growth of so-called "civilisation" particularly in the western world, as a corrupting influence on man's natural happiness and freedom, by creating false hopes, inequality of wealth, and social privileges. that of course is another discussion, and I 'm transgressing.

Your book to me is very complex. i suppose like the root of the tree it goes in many directions seeking the sustenence it needs to survive and grow. I was reading one passsage at a time, which produced so many questions - primarily questions about faith and what it means in the world. And so it goes on and I'm afraid I have to draw a line underneath my ignorance for the time being - Mick

Loving the impossible makes it possible. High stars for you only with the saying that one day you will be on ED's Desk. This book is on my watch list now.

Probably not the type of book I'd usually read, Leelah. However, while the subject matter may not be something I'd normally engage with, I can't help but be impressed with the intellectual/spiritual integrity of your work. I can definitely see this book appealing to a broad cross-section of readers. Both as an information resource and a starting point for debate/enlightenment, I'm sure many readers will benefit hugely from reading your work. On a more fundamental level, the writing itself (both in terms of the overall structure of your argument and the quality and professionalism of the prose) is very impressive and helps enormously with the persuasiveness of some of the opinions/theories put forward. In short, an impressively impassioned, stylishly rendered meditation on what it is to be be human. Highly starred and on my watchlist for further reading. Thanks and best of luck.

A strong book, excellently written.
You lead us on a journey that is full of demons and spiritual light.
Your words are strong and fascinating and give a person much to think about. It certainly did me.
You don’t come over as condescending or patronising, even though some of the contents is dark.
The book has a good strong flow and the pitch, pace and power are just right.
I cannot say I am knowledgeable on these things, but I can say I enjoyed what you
You have searched deep into your self and have found a strong voice full of conviction and grace.
You wrote about and understood what you were trying to say. And its proves a convincing read for all.
Well done.

When Fear Comes Home... An evocative cover, and pitches which prepare me for what's to come - I hope...
I usually take notes as I read - but not this time.

Turn around and meet the fear. I heard somewhere a trite explanation of fear - False Expectations Appearing Real. It was stuck in my mind.

In a way, my bookcovers the same ground ground as yours - but not with the psychological, philosophical, theological approach (whatever!). And in the end, my MC faces her fear.

I am blessed to have become a Christian early in life, and to grow in my faith over the years, receiving theprecious gifts of grace and love.

I am also blessed by not having suffered abuse. But that doesnt preclude me from appreciating and embracing your worthy book. It is true that we can only meaningfully help others, if we ourselves have been through the same experience.

And no -we must not analyse or try to control.

I'm onto authonomy 5 now. What vivid, mesmerising writing. And the message is so clearly put across.
Love, forgiveness. Indeed, yours is an important book.
Surely you are going to get it published?

Jane (Breath of Africa).

Leelah,
I wanted to return the read, after you were so kind as to read and review my own work. However, I have to say that I found this almost impossible to fathom. That's not meant in a derogatory way at all - it's simply too deep and intense for me to get my head around. I rarely read non-fiction, and certainly have never managed to make it further than a couple of chapters into any book on faith/healing/self-help.

I wish you well with this book though, as I can appreciate its worth and message.
Stacey

This book is a very emotional read. As I read the forward I felt angry at the suggestion that our darkest wounds of abuse, betrayal and violence could be perceived as gifts. In fact I have attempted to read this book a couple of times and stopped because of the forward.But It won't go away so I've come back to it.
The girl and the Monster, I can't tell you how sad this made me feel, the horror is so shocking. I'm afraid I stopped reading again. Then I realized, the foggy cloak, it only works if you allow it. As I read more it began to make sense, not that I understood it all.I know love heals and forgiveness is needed to heal but when I read the epilogue I fully understood why this book had to be written and I think you should be very proud of this uplifting piece of work. I have never read a book that made me feel so many different emotions. But in the end, the emotions we are left with is love and forgiveness.
I can't believe a book that made me so angry at first is now on my shelf. High stars.
Olive

Confronting fears of demons in our lives is something we have to pull from inside, however God will help if you ask. We each have our demons or have had our demons in the past. I sincerely pray that the peace this person in your book needed, has been found. I was only able to read the first chapter, and honestly I cannot read anymore. This is not the type of book I back or shelve because to me it is an all to intimate introspective into someone's life and I will not flaunt someone else's pain.

I found my love and my peace finally after many years. I am married (12 years) to a husband that would go to the ends of the earth for me as I would for him. I am very happy, and the mother of two very incredible children--one boy and one girl. God Bless you Leelah. You have a genuine thought-provoking and love-evoking book in your hands. I wish you the best and it looks like you are not to far from the ED either. All the best!!!

~Bethanie

Hello Leelah-

After reading thirteen chapters and chunks of other chapters, i will have to come back in for more-
Yes it that good- in fact a rare gem of a book; so full of all that is good for our well being'

It's quite a serious read , each word and line to be savoured and read slowly to get the meaning of-
As a Christian i found it to be very spiritual and uplifting, perhaps something I would like to have read
in my younger days-
That chapter ' the girl and the monster' in still in my minds eye, so understanding of all the good and the bad
in us all perhaps!
Equally so chapter thirteen, have to say that every thing about this book is so original and written with care, yes
so different -
I highly recommend this book and it gets my six stars with pleasure-

tom bye Dublin Ireland
book - from hugs to kisses-
please Leelah oblige and read some of mine, a true story of a boy growing up in the 40 - laced with humour
throughout despite the recessional times-

the book has many dimensions, but is too loose in its overall structure. some of the sentences are long with sentiment and big words but are saying nothing with substance...
j

This is a really important, much needed work which deserves every chance to get published. I´m sure it could touch, affect, inspire and help so many people. The sheer time and dedication that has gone into creating it calls for great respect and admiration. All the best and the very best of luck in getting it published!

Love,

O wow, this had to have been a tough book to write. You have a very beautiful, peaceful writing style, very lyrical.
I was a tiny bit confused by the forward, where sometimes it seems to be written in first person and sometimes in third—sometimes saying “I” and sometimes saying “Leelah.” Especially this line: “I, as Leelah, became”. I wasn’t sure what that meant—is Leelah you or a fictional character whose perspective you’re writing from about real issues? Reading on I could look back and assume you were talking about yourself in the third person but it momentarily confused me. The same when you wrote “Leelah’s story.” Again, it made me wonder if I would be reading fiction or nonfiction.
This isn’t the kind of book I would normally read, but I found your chapters well-written and very well-edited. No typos! You seem to be a truly accomplished writer.
I wish you the best of luck with your project.

::: He steps up to the challenge. Words must be spoken, yet, what power will those words really have? :::

I appreciate the syncretism congealed from various myths, beliefs, and traditions. The dream imagery and Jungian archetypes expand the narrative form beyond a singular experience to that with universal breadth.

The overwhelming sense in "When Fear Comes Home to Love" is a deep and purposeful search for meaning and truth. These concepts are not discovered and relayed in a dogmatic sense, but with intuition and openness. Thank you for that.

As each reader will walk away with something different, I find this book to be about totality, completion, and realization. The journalized, chronicled format will not be pleasing to all. But, that is not the point. The point, I believe, is that we must all come to trems with our demons. The promise of Love calls to us. We must each decide if the pain of trudging through the muck is worth it.

Thank you for sharing tales of this quest. I have a feeling that many can splice their own stories into the midst, and walk away shining brighter than before encountering your work.

[Side note: Leelah~ One interesting image/reference to "The Snake" that I did not see expressly written, is that of Kundalini. I didn't catch it by name, but found its presence nonetheless. Perhaps I found it in your words, because of its un-named rising in my own novel...]

~Lucas
http://www.authonomy.com/books/41102/capritare-the-cycles-begin/

This book really deserves to be published. I'm not really interested in religious novels as i mostly think they come off as preachy but your was refreshing, imformative and inspirational. The darkness is usually depressing, although i must say it was what captivated my attention at the beginning, yet you brought a unique light to the topic.
all in all i deeply enjoyed reading this and will contiue doing so.

six stars

Amanda

Leelah, I am speechless. You have the wonderful ability to take a dark, painful subject (at least for many of us) and shine a light on your story and your healing process, allowing the reader to apply the healing lessons to their story. Beautifully done! Olive.

Hey, I've been meaning to drop you a line for ages, but I've had connection problems here. I just wanted to say that I've been reading your book a few pages at a time before I go to sleep, and I'm really enjoying it. Gets me in the right frame of mind to relax :D See you around!

If I'm honest, this isn't really my cup of tea (see avi).

However, I can see it's the sort of writing that really speaks to people. It's challenging and demanding and that's admirable in a piece of writing. Well done.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Freedom to play. The cut out theatre. My dear, this went straight to my heart. You speak the language of theatre, used in a wonderful way to heal. One does not have to believe in gods to understand the way you work. Six stars and a place on my shelf. I have read 7 chapters and will return each day to read another, for my own pleasure. Bless you for uplifting. Yours, Pan.