History's Still a Mystery

Still, a mystery why this doesn't do better. You must have to do some campaigning.

Just read the first chapter. I greatly admire your imagination with the time/adventure travel. Easy to read and can see middle school students enjoying this. My only criticism is possibly too many characters with too much back story mentioned. Highly recommended for all middle school students and teachers.
Dina of Halo of the Damned and The Last Degree

Hi there!
I've just read a chapter of your book. I made a few notes to share with you. Take what you want and leave the rest. :) My first thought was what a wonderful idea to incorporate magic and adventure with a little bit of learning important historical events. My second thought was that this is a lot of info to drop in the opening chapter. I think it would benefit your story if your opening scene starts in the action, filling in the background info as you go along. This will help create a stronger narrative hook and move the story along at a better pace for your target audience. Chapters four and five begin similarly. Might I suggest rewording the fifth paragraph to begin: Although school had ended, there was heaps to look forward to. Lastly, in the sentence "...But I'm happy to just stay as good friends too.", there should be a comma after 'friends'. That said, I found your story to be creative and very interesting. Your sentences are a good length and other than the beginning, everything flows along nicely. I think it is perfect for the children's/YA audience. Who wouldn't want to travel back in time in a magic classroom? :) Your characters and dialogue are interesting and believable. Great work you have here. I look forward to reading more. Highly starred :) I would definately buy this book series for my son.

God bless,
Trista Herring-Baughman

Hi, there were a few typos etc in your pitch, so have reworked it a little. use it if you like it. It's hardly changed. Feel free to ignore, of course. Best wishes, Barry

The third book in the series for 9-12 year olds, teaching world history through exciting time travel adventures.

Matt, Ben, Nicky and Kris live in the small town of Coolongawong in New South Wales, Australia. They have spent the last two years with the school's most popular teacher, Mr Mac, in his magic classroom. They discovered early on that by saying some magic words and tripping on a creaky floorboard, they could be transported back in time to experience first-hand, exciting, historic and sometimes dangerous events.

Now they are about to start Year Seven at high school and must leave the magic classroom behind.

But Mr Mac has suggested a possible solution to this and, if it works out, it’s one that will lead to many more exciting escapades. But things don’t go to plan and Matt has to introduce his younger sister, Olivia, to the magic.

The children visit the Great Wall of China, spend time with the Incas, watch a cobra and mongoose fight near the Taj Mahal, join Drake, meet pirates, experience the Crimean War, live in a ghetto in World War II, narrowly escape death on board the Hindenburg, and have many more adventures into the past.

As with other books I have read recently, I have thought of the TIME and EFFORT that has gone into crafting this opus up to this point. I am sure that the rest of the story will be as interesting as the first six chapters. VOP

The first thing I noticed as I started reading this was how well you write for the intended audience. You've captured the appropriate voice and constructed your sentences in an easy-to-read, polished style.

The storyline is fascinating. I love the way you've made this an educational read. As a teacher, there needs to be more novels like this that are both educational and exciting. I could see my students at school reading this.

Your characters are excellent. You have some solid characterization in here, and I'd be interested in reading the first two novels to get to know them better. Mr. Mac is a great character and teacher.

Suggestions: I'd cut "and" at the beginning of your third paragraph. It's not necessary. While I love the premise (I'm a history teacher), I wonder if the opening would be more effective if you showed them travelling through time right from the get-go rather than telling the reader this information. It was a little hard to accept the way it's so casually told to the reader. I realize you do this since it is the third book in a series, but you can accomplish the same recap by dropping your characters into the main conflict. It would also do a better job of hooking your reader instead of beginning with a bit of an infodump about their past. In the sentence, "Then, with that difficult..." you say "then" twice. I'd reword to avoid the repetition.

Typos: There are some issues with your lack of quotations around some of your dialogue. Other than that, this is really well edited. Nice work!

This is a fascinating, fun look into history. Not only does each trip back in time provide a history lesson, there's a life lesson involved, too. I liked their realization that the events of Braveheart weren't "cool" after all. Nice touch. I would recommend this novel and the rest of the series to my students at school. Well done!

History comes to life for 4 friends. This book is educative, fun, and easy to read. What more could you want? I like the fact that the story also includes goings-on in the lives of the characters, making them more real and easy to relate to.

The book is very entertaining, and i have been learning a little bit about history myself.
I really think that you have written a brilliant book for young children.
If you don't mind, could you make a series for middle and high school children as well.
Hope you continue to write in the future as well.
-Authonomy young writers club review.
(To join, please contact me back.)
Thank you.
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