Ghost of a Chance

Backed Ghost of a Chance. The four chapters you have posted have a lot to offer the reader. Really enjoyed the humor. Great one liners: thought money hated her, Craigslist, the want-ads of the twenty-first century, and free was the price-point most creeps sougth out. Love the idea of the Paranormal Destinations program. This is a hot topic now so your book is very timely. Hope you will find time to check out our paranormal thriller, Dark Side.
CC Brown

Wow...i enjoyed reading Ghost of a Chance. I would really love to read more though. I wish it would have stopped at a point where the two meets or how he ended up in those pics (what he was doing there). I guess leaving your reader curious is a good thing. I really hope you will add more pages soon.

I just noticed something ...on page 2 "it's lying, and it's stupid. I do it my way or not all"... should it not be "not AT all"?...

I wish you all the best and don't forget to load more pages :)

green h
through green's eyes

Erika,
"Ghost of a Chance" stands out as a must-read. Your easy narrative prose and believable dialogue combine to make your work delightfully smooth. Jenny with her pet peeves and little worries comes across as a sympathetic character worth cheering on. Thank you so much for a delightful experience. Looking forward to more of the same.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Hi Erika

Thanks for backing my book! Would you mind writing just a quick comment on what it was you liked/didn't like for me?

Anyway, I like what I have read of yours. It moves at a good pace, and there doesn't seem to be any unnecessary descriptions or the like. The dialogue, particularly , is very real and well written. I like the premise; though, to me, it seems more like a light comedy-horror than all-out horror.

Other than the fact that her hanging up, then going on to the interview a week later needs a new paragraph, I can't really find anything wrong with this. I will put it on my watchlist until I find a space to back it.

Thank you! No, it's not actually 'horror.' There is no paranormal category on the site; I call it a 'paranormal romance.'

This is unlike anything I've ever read before. I wanted to know what was on the ad! :)
This is sharp, to the point and very easy yet enjoyable to read.
I've added you to my WL for now.

Kindest Regards
Luciana House

Hi Erika

Thanks for backing my book! Would you mind writing just a quick comment on what it was you liked/didn't like for me?

Anyway, I like what I have read of yours. It moves at a good pace, and there doesn't seem to be any unnecessary descriptions or the like. The dialogue, particularly , is very real and well written. I like the premise; though, to me, it seems more like a light comedy-horror than all-out horror.

Other than the fact that her hanging up, then going on to the interview a week later needs a new paragraph, I can't really find anything wrong with this. I will put it on my watchlist until I find a space to back it.

The opening to this is perfect. I wouldn't change a word of it. Immediately it establishes the voice, main character, and conflict. One paragraph in and I'm hooked. Impressive start. Imagine how excited I was when what followed was even better.

First and foremost, I love the voice in this. Disappearing money? Yep, I have that problem too. I liked the bit about Darrin being the designated believer, too. And "Night Shamy-something."

You have a knack for drawing out intrigue. You turned something as simple as reading a want-ad into a mystery. I wanted to know what the ad was for, but you made the suspense last. I love it.

The premise is awesome. When we finally learn what her job was I laughed, but at the same time became intrigued by what might happen. My wife and I are one of those couples who watches the "real" paranormal shows. It's about as close as I can get her to watching horror movies with me.

You nailed Mike's character. He's perfectly depicted. I think we all know a Mike. Nicely done. In fact, all of your characters are well done.

Suggestions: I'd start a new paragraph with "A week later, she found..." I'd consider breaking up the paragraph that starts, "Jenny heard the depth of the silence..." You don't want any of the main ideas to be lost in it.

Typos: You're missing your punctuation at the end of the sentence that starts, "Most of the jobs fit neither her needs..." You don't need the comma in the sentence that starts, "She read the listing again..." Should be: "Ms. Myers, think you'll be ideal" instead of "you're be ideal." I think it should be "Like a rolling pin."

By the end of the second chapter, I can honestly say this is one of my favorite reads on authonomy. If it were available, I would buy it. This one is easily six stars. Nice work!

Hi Erika,

This is really good. Great hook, great beginning and really effective characterization. I like it a lot (and I don't say that very often, honest).

I do have one suggestion. There is quite a bit of repeitition. It feels like you're doing it for effect - a stylistic thing - but I think there's too much of it. For example, in the first paragraph of chapter two, you add "whatever needed to be done in left, she did them." You've already said that.

I'm also a believer in the writer's maxim "show, don't tell" and I found a bit of telling. Example: she didn't care much for Mike." You can use some dialogue and her reactions to convey that without stating it. Same with "he looked like a complete buffoon." I'd rather have him saying really dumb things and the crew rolling their eyes and poking each other. Also, I'd like to hear a better description of Jenny's on-campus fame from her TV gig. "Jenny didn't ordinarily consider herself an attention-getter, but hadn't minded at all when the hot guy in her lab said, 'hey, i saw you on that ghost thing last night. Cool.' Somehting like that.

You have some really funny stuff here and some great descriptive language - flattened by a rolling pin was one. I think you have the makings of a really fun, amusing, maybe scary (I only read two chapters) book. I'm giving you a very rare five stars for this, and wishing you tons of luck on Authonomy.

If you would, I would so appreciate your looking at and considering backing and starring Animal Cracker.

All best,
Andi Brown