Hospital Corners

stacey, i will admit i find your online personality to be repellent, and the ease with which you discard the work of others inspired 'corners' into my watchlist, but i didn't come here to bear false witness. i gave your work a fair shake and supplied an unadulterated review. mr. maitland was just as much a 'target' of my curiosity, and you might be surprised at what i supplied in return for viewing his work.

salutations aside, i appreciate you clearing up the setting of 'corners' for me. i will be the first to agree an entire book will give more of these details than a meager portion, but i can only rate what i see. were more of it here, i think we both agree i would have been stubborn enough to finish. again, i read all of "sex stone of agassia" just to know his first-hand definition of 'a book'.

i stand by my statements on your work, and i've made it clear as you that one man's opinions do not stock book shelves. i did not spite your efforts with a one-star rating, or any at all, as i firmly believe your labors can be appreciated by others, just not anyone who happens to be me. consider me as you like, but know i genuinely enjoyed little to nothing of this read and reflected as such (arguably) for your benefit. as for deciphering the english language, i recommend dictionary.com before a retreat towards frustration.

For those of you who are unaware, Jet Ramea appears to have taken a dislike to me after my comments on the "If I were an Agent" thread. However, his comments (once I can actually disentangle their meaning) are as valid as anyones.

1. He says Elizabeth (the 6 year old) lies within her own thoughts - that early on she states she doesn't think much of her absent Mummy, but then spends a considerable part of the chapter thinking about her. Jet says "she wouldn't like in her own narration about her mother" - well, yes she would because she's an unreliable narrator, even within her own thoughts. I'm not entirely sure what he meant by "forget that this is a six year old girl with so much more on her mind than what's on television" - if it helps, Jet, this whole chapter takes place in 1941....the "Sister" is a nurse not a nun, and the police aren't involved; it's a discussion between a senior nurse and a doctor. You're meant to think it's contemporary but it's actually Esme as a small girl. She's not in hospital to have her tonsils removed - she's created that little fantasy because she's blocked the truth from her mind. The fact is she actually knows her mother is dead, and that she (Elizabeth) has actually tried to commit suicide twice in the space of a week/10 days. So - an unreliable narrator in every sense. Sorry if that's been a spoiler for anyone, but I've taken down the bulk of the book anyway.

As for the rest of the comments, I'm unable to decipher anything intelligible from between the venom and overwritten bile....

'hospital corners' is a character-driven drama centered around the elderly esme and several doctors, nurses or tonsil-less patients that cohabitate the titular locale. the author makes early use of chapter breaks as the deciding factor for various first-person narratives, but soon abandons the practice for two or three perspectives for reasons that might be cleared up in the mysterious 'chapter eight'.

i did have a few misgivings, and i hope i can concisely present them. but as i hold the opinion that those most loquacious regarding their habits are usually the least sincere of said deeds, i would just as cynically dismiss those that skim over the meat in favor of the misleading final sentence i supplied for kicks. so then:

apart from obvious little things like the 'new father' chapter's missing italics, or that tricky business of jumping from esme's head to julie's to julie's lazy underling to julie again and so on... i simply didn'tt like the little girl's character. i am described a six year old girl with no physical memory of her mother and, by her own admission, a rare affinity for thinking of her maternal figure very often. yet, in the brunt of the remaining chapter, her "mummy" is repeatedly mentioned by said girl; a nun; a nurse; and possibly a policeman? forget that this is a six year old girl with so much more on her mind than what's on television, young children are the most honest people on the planet (and truer the younger they are). even for fiction, i just don't believe she would lie in her own narration about thinking of her mother.

the next issue i have is with the staff; nurse and doctor, to be exact. julie and bailey are decent enough foils for eachother to get that much-needed conflict for what supposes to be a drama-fiend's crack binge. however, i found them both to be annoyingly one-dimensional and was relieved when julie finally responded her true thoughts between quotations instead of within italics. of course, the let-down swiftly met my shins with its tire-iron as the all-familiar, over-pompous doctor glossed over that ripe situation and left me and my broken legs with the equally-played-out, compassionate and undervalued nurse. as a character-driven drama's enjoyability is firmly character-dependent, it stands to reason the characters should be rounded out a little more like individuals and a lot less like the stereotypes they were molded from. now if the title were 'general hopsital corners', i would have overlooked this bit.

from this reader's vantage, the easiest character to relate to is esme. many times throughout the read i found myself lost; trapped in a place i didn't want to be and possibly considering self-mutilation as a means of escape. for this alone, i feel the story has accomplished the meager task of supplying another void for which the dreary seek to aim their world-sick visages.

while i could not say i'd relish the sight of this book on a shelf in books-a-milllion, i have no doubt in my mind it has a market. for as tired and monotonous as the story's hearth-genre is, there seem to be more fans of it in the world than there are literate people. this is the strongest reason i chose not to star this work at all. the runners up being my hearty disinterest in english medicine, and a genuine feeling a 'rating' opinion will earn me the scorn of so many who've wasted the same time on 'corners' but likely had the benefit of mind-numbing agents to cope.

overall excellent work, stacey.

Hi Stacey,

This is a BHCG 2 crit. Not that is anything I can really pick out to mention as needing attention aside from: Needs to have a comma in front of which when Esme is in the cubical with the nurse and talking about what she likes in her tea.

Esme is a great character and I see she is hiding something by the end of this extract. She probably does have a home somewhere, as she is worried about the stove being left on and the chicken on the counter. Also about how her pension doesn't stretch as far. I am getting the impression she might have Alzheimers, or senile dementia as she is giving an address of a place that doesn't exist any longer. People with those conditions do slither back into the past and forget the present. They also become very tricky about hiding stuff.

The man with the baby is very moving. He has just lost his wife in childbirth and now has the enormous responsibility of bringing up the child by himself. He is a sort of contrast to the absent dad in a later chapter. I guess that one has been arrested for abusing his daughter, but I am not so sure he did. The child, Elizabeth, seems not quite normal. Given that we are inside her head, she doesn't have any bad thoughts about her father, only other children. She also wants what she can't have and that is her mother, who she doesn't even remember. Why do the others pick on her so much? It wouldn't just be because she doesn't have a mother. There has to be something else that makes her stand out as very different and not friend material for anyone.

Very good read and highly starred. Good luck with the submissions.

I found Hospital Corners a very well-written and engaging story. I found myself inside Esme's head in the first chapter, worrying with her about how she would get home on the bus without any money - I actually felt her frustration and panic which demonstrates your ability as a writer.
The setting felt authentic and I was thoroughly absorbed in Esme's confusion. One small point is that her surname, Smith, is mentioned several paragraphs into the first chapter - I believe it should be shown when she first enters and then left off (but I'm no expert).
Overall I loved the feel of this story and would be intrigued to read more when time allows.
Lots of stars! Godd luck with it.
Best,
Melissa,
Lessons in the Dark

Hospital Corners
Overall: I see from your bio that you’ve taken most of the book down and I’m sorry I missed the boat! I’d love to read more, you’ve done a great job of creating wonderful, accessible, sympathetic characters. The writing is fluid with appropriate attention to detail. The dialogue is true to life and the setting is thoroughly “researched” although I suspect you either work in a hospital or have spent quite a bit of time in one. Like I said in my message, I suspected I wouldn’t have much to crit and I don’t. I love your cover and the title is an intriguing play on words, but I suspect I might not know the full meaning of it unless I read the whole thing. I’m adding HC to my shelf list (to be switched at the end of the month), in the meantime I’ve highly starred it. Below are my notes:
Chapter 1: The first sentence wasn’t an attention grabber. Frankly, the “She wishes she could consult her wristwatch, she hated not knowing what time it was, but it was lying, blood-stained on the kitchen worktop” reached off the page and grabbed me. I almost wonder if you could start with that paragraph? Maybe it’s the blood stained thing – that’s always compelling. That being said, I don’t personally care about the magic of the first sentence, so would have read on anyway.
“tears started insinuating…” I’m not sure insinuating is the right word.
Poor Esme, she’s so confused. Good job bringing the reader into her mind in this chapter. I’m impressed with your ability to hold the reader’s attention with no dialogue.
Chapter 2: I was confused by the POV switch, although it was probably me. It says clearly Brian at the top. I was into the 4th paragraph before I realized that it wasn’t Esme. Starting over…ok makes much more sense now. Also, the third person to first person POV so, I don’t know why I was confused. Eh, I’m leaving this comment in case it’s common feedback.
I was so engrossed in the scene with him talking to his daughter. I have two little girls and particularly the part where he stares at her hands – I’ve done the same thing.
Chapter 3:
A self help book calls it “Mindfulness”. Esme calls it “common sense”. I really did LOL at this. Esme reminds me of how I will think when I’m older.
Your descriptions are spot on without being flowery or over-written. I am instantly in the hospital with the sights, sounds, smells, etc.
“her hair has a bedraggled look that suggests she’s been in bed all day…” bedraggled/bed in the same sentence. You can probably just drop everything after ‘look’. The bedraggled look suggests being in bed itself.
“each fingertip is covered in a patch of red, raw skin…” suggestion: Drop everything after that. You say earlier she was chewing on her fingertips.
The end of this chapter is appropriately poignant. I like the italics showing us when we are directly in Esme’s head versus her actions.
Chapter 4:
This chapter is so heartbreaking to me. I have such a hard time reading about small children and their fears and insecurities. Her voice is so perfect, although her language is a bit odd – formal for a child and old fashioned. Clearly purposeful it makes the reader wonder. You have successfully written with vastly different voices, I can’t wait to see how they all come together.
Chapter 5:
Oh good, back to Esme. I don’t know if it’s the American/British thing but I have no idea what A&E is (I’m guessing it’s the ER). I’m trying to figure it out in context… any way to squeeze that in without being obvious? I love how we are in the heads of all the characters in this book. Usually, I find that with third POV, we are left out of a lot, as readers. And this always bugs me. This is great – even Julie has thoughts we are privy to!
Chapter 6: I didn’t take any specific notes, mostly I just loved the interactions and I thought Dr. Bailey was a bitch, but you managed to also make her sympathetic. Job well done, there.
Chapter 7: I’m confused by the one sided conversation. One thing I’ve loved about this so far is the head jumping and complete transparency into everyone and everything. To suddenly put the reader in the dark is jarring. Also it took me a few minutes to figure it out, because by this point in the book, I expect transparency. This chapter ends very interestingly… and now there isn’t any more. How very sad!

6*'s from me, good job!
Kate M.
My Husband's Memory

I have come back to complete this. Just finished reading all the chapters you have uploaded here. I enjoyed reading it. You have written it very well and the characters are developing nicely. Occasionally when you swap from one point of view to another within a short space of time it is a little confusing, but other than that this is a very good read. I like the way you have written the thoughts of the characters in italics, something I should take note of!
Well done and good luck with this.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Sorry, that it took me so long to get back to your book. It has an interesting title and cover. It was interesting. I hope that people that like that genre really enjoy your book. I guess that genre wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Oh, I guess that I should say something constructive. You should work on the fluidity of your sentences, and the precision of getting your point across. I hope you have a lot of success in your writing. Maybe, some day you will write a genre that I like more and I can rave about how great your book is.

K...

Hi Stacey,
I have read the first four chapters of your book and I thought I'd comment from a reader's perspective. I liked the character of Esme. I think her vulnerability and her confusion are very realistic for someone suffering from dementia, if that is what she does suffer from. I thought the chapter on Elizabeth wasn't as strong, purely because the nurses didn't seem that caring and a bit too old-fashioned and formal. If she's had her tonsils out, normally a child would only be in hospital, I believe for one night. They would then go home. If the doctors suspected a child abuse problem I think that a social worker would have been involved and maybe she would have been moved to a foster home. The fact that she is being bullied in the hospital suggests that she has been there some time. I don't think this is realistic. However, some of Elizabeth's thoughts and feelings are very perceptive for a child in her predicament. How old is she supposed to be? I'd be interested to know.

These are just small points that can easily be changed, if you see fit. I like the changing viewpoints of the book, as they add interest. I like the way you interweave them so we see Brian first of all from Esme's viewpoint and we see Esme from Elizabeth's. A good read which raises important issues.
Starred and on my WL for now.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Hi Stacey, I have just read the first two chapters. I just love the characterisation of Esme, I can just picture her wandering the corridors of the hospital getting more and more distressed. The writing really flowed and you have a very natural narrative. I look forward to reading more.

Eve

Mostly, novels that jump from person to person irritate me. But this one is very well written indeed, and your characterization is wonderful. Whether it's Esme or Brian or Elizabeth, the reader can feel with them. Very good and to be backed. Marj.

I like your cover art, and the pitch. I read the first paragraph and knew I was on to something good. I love the idea behind it. “One wing would be a maternity [ward], the other a morgue.” I like ‘ward’ here because it’s one syllable, as is ‘morgue.” and like the way it sounds along with morgue. “Joining them in the middle…” works a bit like an analogy. It’s especially fun coming after the ‘maternity/morgue’ line, but I think it’d be more impactful if you eliminated the blue balloons because you’re (I think) drawing an analogy to birth and death (teddy bears and lilies).

“…a small child would build out of Lego.” I got stuck on this Lego singular. Lego is a trade mark, so, yes, it should be singular, but you’re actually referring to the little plastic blocks that Lego makes. I think this would read better if you said, ‘build out of Lego blocks.’ (I wonder if this might be one of those little US/UK differences... in which case Lego alone is correct.)

I’ve only read the first two chapters so far. I'm very much enjoying it. I like the colorful and unique narrative voice. I'll be reading more soon. In the meantime I am keeping it on my shelf.

The last time I was in a hospital the one thing that did strike me was that it is a microcosm of society – only it took this highly original work of fiction to remind me of that. Around every hospital corner – are stories of life – and of death.

I was hooked on the character of Esme by the end of Chapter Two and wasn’t sure I was ready yet for Brian but by the end of Chapter Three you’d won me over with him too. The strength of this book is the detailed characterisation and that Esme’s story is so realistic. You perfectly captured the loneliness and isolation…….This is not a book you can sum up in just three chapters, the amount I am able to read in one sitting. Thought provoking and highly starred.

Alison (Lambert Nagle)
Revolution Earth

Hello, this is your BHCG review, sorry for the delay! Please feel free to ignore anything you don’t agree with, and remember that it’s just the opinion of a rather inexperienced reader.

Plot: I really enjoyed your opening chapter, it gives a great sense of place. I liked the idea that the building was having an ‘identity crisis’. Esme’s foray into the hospital was both well-written and observed, great point about standing in front of sign telling you where you are and still having no idea! I think you could easily come up with something a bit more original that ‘the wonderment and fear of a child’ it’s a bit of a cliche and I think your selling your writing short by using it your opening chapter.

Pacing: Perfect amount of backstory for Esme and Brian so far. Perhaps a little too much for Elizabeth.

Characters/Characterization: Esme is a puzzle. At times she seems lucid and observant, at others she confused and vulnerable. It’s a very honest portrayal and I like that you’re steering clear of stereotypes. She appears to have forgotten all about her stitches, would this be possible if she needed them so badly? Is she ignoring the problem, or has she forgotten all about it?

I don’t get a real sense of Brian yet, apart from his terrible loss I don’t feel like I know much about him. He seems like a fairly typical ‘bloke’, but his story is very moving.

I struggled with Elizabeth, if I’m honest. If Esme clocked she was covered in cuts and bruises only a few moments after meeting her, then why didn’t the nurses notice? I thought parts of this chapter were really well observed eg. ‘why are grownups always touching me’ gives real sense of how warped this child’s perspective has become. But other parts feel rushed, for example, as I understand it, she is going to be placed into foster care at the end of Chapter 5? I'm not entirely sure when your book is set, but if it's in the present, then this probably wouldn’t happen so quickly, without any involvement from social services. A social worker coming to see Elizabeth would be the first step in the process, and I can’t imagine a doctor trying to extract sensitive information from her within earshot of other children.


Point of View/Voice I like Esme’s pithy asides and observations, her voice is very readable. The momentum is interrupted when you switch between the different POV, which is fine, but I would like a little more time to get to know Esme before you start to introduce the other characters.

Style – I think your style is a good way of exploring the various themes of the book, and allows the reader plenty of insight.

Sentence level – All good, no obvious errors that I could spot, however I am something of a skimmer so probably not the best person for this particular job.

Dialogue – Brian talking to his daughter is very heartfelt, I got a real sense of a new father at a complete loss. I didn’t find Sister Annie entirely convincing, she seemed a bit too starchy and formal for me. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard somebody use the expression ‘now now!’ ‘There are signs of severe psychological disturbance, and worse’ feels a bit clumsy.

Originality – it’s rare to find a book that has an older female as it’s protagonist.

Publishability - There is a lot going on here to, and a range of characters that I imagine a wide range of readers can identify with, so yes.

Very good read. I am on chapter 2 and can't put it down. Very well written and characters are great.

Pete
THE SNOW KING

BHCG review.

Plot – opening, narrative flow/momentum
The pitches work for me – and I love the title, with its double meaning. The first chapter is a great introduction; reasonably informal, easy to read, and at the same time hinting at the world beyond the lobby. Makes me want to read on.

Pacing – too much backstory or too little
Well paced. At first a little confusing, but the reason for that emerges early enough to make sense of it. The question of back story doesn’t really arise.

Characters/Characterization
Because I find most of the characters thoroughly believable and absorbing, I’m only going to mention the few instances where I wasn’t wholly convinced.
Ch9 – Marge and her husband. I’m not sure why this doesn’t quite ring true. Maybe it’s because the husband is a bit too detached. Later, when we discover who he actually is, I felt he should have been more involved at that point, either for or against her behaviour.
Dr B’s personal epiphany in Chs 38/40 seems too comprehensive to be believable in such a short time. I realise this sort of literary licence is necessary – you can’t go on for chapters about it, and you’ve said she knows it’s only the beginning. But is there some way of qualifying it further?

Point of View/Voice
You’ve certainly made this hard for yourself, but you’ve nailed it just the same, with times and identities. I queried the tense, occasionally, but I think I’ve worked out that when it’s Esme alone it’s past tense, and when she’s interacting with a present-tense character, it’s all present, but it still threw me occasionally.

Style – very subjective but good to know if it works or not for the reader
Your writing style appears effortless (which means the effort has been enormous, probably), and I take my hat off to the way in which you’ve unfolded the story. It’s clever, intelligent and compelling. Also difficult to achieve so flawlessly, I’d imagine. And although it’s a serious subject, there’s a lightness in places that stops us sinking into gloom. Masterful.

Sentence level – grammar, repetitive structure, wordiness, unneeded phrases etc
Inevitably, there are a few slips at sentence level – aren’t there always! These are the ones I picked up.
Ch4 She still doesn’t what time it is...
Ch6 The man wore a green uniform had been pushing
Ch13 dawns (dawn’s)
...a set of unlabelled and generic house, a set of raffle ticket stubs for a Christmas...
Ch17 Neatly styled hair is not one my priorities
Ch35 ...had the gall to spent...
Ch37 ...somehow we’re holding my hand

Dialogue
Good.

Originality
There are certainly books about mental illness, but BPD in particular? Don’t know.

Publishability
I have no idea how publishers think (or not) but to me, this is an exceptional book and thoroughly deserves publication. For a start, it’s well written – not something you can say about everything that makes into print. Secondly, it’s completely absorbing, unfolding layer by layer to reveal a world that’s intense, moving, and deeply human – not always familiar, which makes it all the more valuable. At the same time, it’s eminently readable. Publishers would be mad not to snap it up.

Backed when I update my shelf
Helen Meikle

Dear Stacey

I have read the first eight chapters of "Hospital Corners".

Your writing is as careful, sharp and well observed as ever, with tension around misunderstandings ratcheting up nicely. I love the different stories blending into each other. Especially poignant for me is the sense of loss and loneliness that seems to underlie the experiences of the different patients in the unit; and the mix of careful and careless in the attitudes of the hospital staff.

Your words are brilliant at exposing the complexities and misunderstandings in hospital life. I never did feel unhappy or depressed, just that it all felt genuine.

Very well done!

Fran Macilvey xx :)

I read chapter 9 and 10 and I really enjoyed it. Beautifully written. Just a couple things here and there, but nit-picking. I really like Marge's chapter. Oh the sensitivity of men in those situations. Your description of the whole scene made me feel like a fly on the wall.

And I felt sorry for poor Esme. Looking forward to seeing what happens.

Keeping this on my watch list. I want to read it from the beginning.

-Aliah
Her Demise

-Aliah
Her Demise

added to watchlist, have to work tonight, will begin reading asap :)

Dear Stacey

I have just read the first three chapters of your book,"Hospital Corners" and I am definitely coming back for more, but I am running short of time, so before I go, a comment or two.

First, I like the humour here. You so beautifully observe the absurdities of modern hospitals, for example, but never in a way that feels forced or unhappy. Just as is, and controlled. I liked, giving equal importance to pink teddies, blue balloons and white lilies.... and your millennium wing, due to a shortage of funds completed in 2009. Little touches like these really lift the MS and help to show the humanity behind the absurd.

Second, I am impressed with your understanding of your characters, their weaknesses and strengths. You manage to get inside their heads in a way that I find clever and reassuring: here, there will be no straight lines or bland assurances, but more of the ambiguity and complexity that we all see, and struggle to articulate. Especially around illness and infirmity.

You have managed to put wonderful words to the dilemmas and difficulties of being human. More reading on Monday and more comments to follow.

Meantime, thank you. Lots of stars for you, and on my WL if I can find a space.

Take care

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Just read the 3 chapters I found this book very different, slightly disturbing, the different veiwpoints made it interesting. on my Watchlist

I found this really well written - indeed, in many ways the writing is amongst the best I have come across on this site. It is controlled, focused and skilled, without ever descending to pretentious bombast to show off the author's ego. Thewhole conception and structure of the book are strong and clear, and the human understanding informs it all.

I do have some reservations - none of which, I must stress, are fundamental to the value and potential.

I felt there was a slight tendency to go on and on, re-iterating points already made. There were occasions when points seemed unnecessarily stressed; to take a tiny example, when Julie first encounters Esme there is a slightly unnecessary emphasis on what is professional and what isn't - and getting her a cup of tea and food is not unprofessional.

The second chapter with Esme had a tendency towards misanthropic cheap shots. Esme seems intelligent, yet the nonsense about cafes suggests she doesn't understand that they are there for outpatients and visitors - then she gratefully sits down at one and then complains because its closing. The unfriendly people, the cheap shots about how you can't smile - old lady's can smile at children and do all the time. I appreciate this will all seem petty and Esme is generally beautifully drawn, but this is one of the few places where I felt the author intrude.

There are also problems with tone (and in Chapter 2 it ius sometimes unbclear whether it is the author or Esme we are hearing). Bryan says he isn't good with words and then lainches into eloquent and elegant writing. This dissonance was puzzling.

I want to stress my high opinion of this. I think it needs some ruthless appraisal, considering very precisely each line and the tone. I am not suggesting you haven't done this - but maybe another eye would help, since we all go blind looking at our own work!

There were minor typos, but, as I said before, I admired the quality of writing.

Highly starred and on my watchlist. Will back soon.

I read your first three chapters.

General comments: A touching start. Esme is a sympathetic character, as is Brian. You've used deep point of view very well to add dimension to them. Your narrative is evocative. Effective descriptions. Strong sense of place. Good tension. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) '5.30 pm' should be '5.30 p.m.'
2) Excellent end of chapter hook.

Specific comments on the second chapter:
1) 'No Esme, she scolded, you have to stop that train of negative thinking.' Comma after 'no.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas. There are more cases where you address someone in dialogue, but didn't offset their name or title with commas.
2) A blackboard beside the till advertised the next days' menu: ... ' Days' (plural possessive) should be day's (singular possessive).
3) 'Tears threatened to overflow and cuffed them away with her good hand.' Insert 'she' after 'and.'
4) Another excellent end of chapter hook.

Specific comments on the third chapter:
1) 'I'll even show you how to pull your nose off like my Dad showed me.' 'Dad' should be lowercase. When a kinship term is modified (usually with a possessive pronoun) it becomes a common noun and is lowercase. There are more cases of this type of problem.
2) 'I can see they'll be long and slender like her mums, ... ' Mums (plural) should be mum's (possessive).

I hope these comments will help you further polish your all important opening chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Would you please take a look at "Savannah Oak" and let me know how I might improve it?

Have a marvelous day.

Al

Really enjoyed this book,couldn't wait to read the next chapter when I finished one.Very moving and well written.

This is a really great novel - uncomfortable at times, because of the subject, but the characters are vivid, and I like the fact that you include different viewpoints. It's not normally the kind of thing I read, but I love the way your write. I wondered if the characters were based on your own experiences (so I checked your profile) and your writing really shows that you know what you're talking about in terms of experience.

Overall, a very interesting look at an area that so many people refuse to talk about in the UK - mental health. Your novel is listed as "incomplete" (you've stated that it is complete at 78,000) - i'm not sure if that was intentional. If it is incomplete, I would like to read the rest!

A witty and humourous story. Well written with good dialogue. The jump to first person was a little confusing at first but I made the leap. This novel has a pleasing complexity that keeps one engaged. I loved the confusion of the old lady in the first chapter, I hate to admit how close to home that was for me, haveing seen the inside of too many hospitals! I shall read on.

Fantastically written story with characters that draws you in from early on. The dialogue, both spoken and inner weaves through the narrative seemlessly with rich descriptive imagery which makes you want to keep on reading.
Esme's tragic story is handled with the greatest of care, its portrayed in its harshest reality, but with an understanding and sympathy that exudes from the page. The complex way the secondary characters and stories are woven into the story keeps you turning the pages to find out more.
Couldn't put it down.

"A lot of things confused her nowadays. She put most of them down to global warming."
You had me at that remark. LOVED it.
I read six chapters, and thought about all those at Authonomy who post their own story. Nothing wrong with wanting to have one's story witnessed/read, but HOW it is done...and I breathed freely as i read this and saw that an artist had written it.
The composition is flawless. It demanded something extra from me, it took some while to get used to it. I read some comments and was helped more.
I am admiring this composition. Its style. So rich, and as i see it, filled with love - it runs as an undertow.
Some punctuation glitches - these are all over:
are you awake there - COMMA - love?
take it easy there - COMMA - dearie.
TOP STARS and watchlisted: this is one of the very few books here that I want to read entirely.
Leelah Saachi
"When fear comes home to Love."

A strong and well-written story with a lot of character.
Believable characters, which enhance the narrative.
Good use of dialogue, which adds to the plot.
Also like the genre, you have chosen and think you have done your research into this market.
Really enjoyed the read and well done.

A BHCG Review.
You have actually been on my shelf forever and I don’t think I’ve ever commented on you book so I thought I’d do you a wee one for the BHCG.
I think your short pitch is excellent, snappy, and your long pitch very in depth and would definitely invite in readers.
The narrative flows really well, I like how you don’t get into the back story immediately but let the reader travel with Esme. It has really good momentum and the chapter endings provide that hook that makes the reader want to continue.
You characters are very well rounded. Especially Esme, I can definitely see her and feel her and relate to her. I think you create her so well. Because of this there is definitely an empathy for her and therefore more of a relationship for the reader with the narrative. The point of view helps to establish this as well.
You have a very original story I think. It’s not like anything I’ve read before although I can see how it fits in with that certain genre of stories which combine real life experiences with a fictional story. I am so pleased to see you steadily rise through the ranks as I think “Hospital Corners” has the potential to go far. You already have my stars and my backing so I wish you all the best.

Faina

I very much liked the format of this. When I first started reading -- and assuming it was going to be a continuous story about Esme -- I was going to suggest dropping the first chapter, and letting the reader be as baffled as Esme is when she first passes through the hospital doors. But, on reading on, with the alternating chapters, I think it works perfectly well as it is.

There were some continuity issues that can be resolved with a good edit: one character mentions how mild the weather has been recently, and suggests Esme would be more suitably attired in a raincoat rather than her thick winter coat, yet in another episode we have a "freezing winter wind", black ice and pavements white with frost. In Ch.12 Lottie gets up at 5.45, leaving Stuart soundly asleep, well-used to her early-morning rises and routine, yet -- fifteen minutes later -- he is leaving the house, late for work.

Now -- possible spoiler alert -- is there a deliberate connection between Lottie's husband 'Stuart' and Peggy's husband 'Stewart'? I have read only the first 18 chapters, but have a sneaking suspicion that all these characters are manifestations of Esme's mind..... If so, Stacey, then you have written a very clever novel indeed.

Shelved with pleasure.

Hello Stacey :o) I've read up to Chapter 6 and i just wanted to let you know that I do desire to read through the entire book, however, time is not kind to me atm. I'm extremely busy, although I wanted to let you know I care, and I find this book to be very interesting, the set out of it enables the reader to get to know the characters in an orderly fashion. You can definitely write, there's no doubt about that! I am no expert when It comes to writing, I can only share what I've thought as a reader. Well done. I do wish you all the best. Salwa :o)

BHCG. Hi again, This is a continuation from earlier feedback. Generally, I have a slight problem with the present and past tense changes. Also, not being a medical person do not not understand the meaning of most of the acronyms, RUH,UTI,CQC. I had to look up the following in the English/Oxford dictionary;
1). Keening-(dirge, lament to the dead) is this her meaning?
2). Soporific - tended to send him to sleep?
3). Sagway?
4). Bassinet-(Wickerwork cradle, modern hygienic hospital? Pram?)
5). Posseting -(Milk with ale or spices).

Chapter 11. Present Tense.
I liked the writing style and some of the phrasing; When the going gets tough, The hospital relaxing into sleep.
How does Esme know that Doctors and Nurses surround the woman? Maybe: Esme imagines that ...

Chapter 12.
found the jumps between characters difficult.

Lottie 1. past tense.

Stewart 1.
My visual of flannel pyjamas is of jacket and trousers. If so how did he kiss her shoulder?
Dawns light, maybe dawn's light.
late followed soon by late.

Lottie 2.
Had to spend some time working out the paras in italics featured Rhona. Maybe Rhona sat in the kitchen...
They all know that. Who are they all?

Lottie 3.
I initially thought Stewart had come into the kitchen at 6.00.
Diving forward - only for a peck?
She called in sick. Did she have a job? In her state?

Stewart 2.
Work was piled or (work piled?)
Trigger followed soon by triggered.

Stewart 3.
Nurses training or nurse training?
As before I think psychologist should be replaced by psychiatrist/psychotherapist etc.
The front door swung open. Did Stewart do this?

Chapter 13.
Present Tense.
Para. 1. Esme hears the woman (Lottie?) describe her attacker. I struggled with this
Para.2 It was me. Who is saying this?
I'm a bit lost here.

Chapter 14. No problem with this chapter.

Chapter 15. First Person. Present Tense.
I like this chapter apart from posseting and bassinet. But that is my personal educational/lack of problem. Hope you don't find this too negative. Most of your readers describe the good bits and I don't really want to be repetitive as you are aware of them. Good luck, I'll read more, but only if you want.
Chris

After reading the pitch I just had to take a look at Hospital Corners as I work in mental health and my mum is in the early stages of dementia! Everyone can experience mental health problems at some point in their lives. Dementia patients make people feel uncomfortable as they think 'I hope this will never happen to me.'

I have only read 3 chapters but I like what I have read.

Esme - you have captured the feeling of fear, confusion, acute sense of failure and frustration experienced by the elderly very well. She is a character than invokes a lot of sympathy in the reader. We will all know someone like this at some point in our lives.

Brian - the overwhelming love he feels for his new child is described perfectly. It was a bit of a shock ending when his wife appeared to be dying.

I found your writing accomplished, flowed smoothly and was easy to read. I will be putting Hospital Corners on my watchlist as I want to go back to this when I have more time and find out what happens to Esme and Brian and the new characters that you introduce later. Good luck on your way to the ED.

I would be grateful if you can take a look at Pain. It also has a strong emotional theme to it.

Kim (Pain)

Hi Stacey this is a BHCG review from inspectorrick (Rick). I've only had the pleasure of reading 3 chapters so far and I'm enjoying the ride. Now for the review.
Pitches - short was interesting and drew me in. Long - I would either cut it after Esme or combine the rest some how. It seemed confusing to me.

Pacing/ style - very easy to read and the story flows along nicely so far. I did find the Brian story a bit jerky. Don't take this the wrong way but it felt as if you were having difficulty imagining what it's like for a young man with his new baby daughter. The feelings aren't any different and the words are the same as a woman would use - trust me - I've been there.

Characters - I especially like Esme so far and the descriptions of the hospital are great.

Publishability - don't know yet but likely.

I think this is a work that will draw a lot of people in at the beginning and I truly want to come back to it. If anything I've said so far seems harsh please forgive me. I don't have any credentials for this sort of thing but I do read a lot. This isn't the usual sort of book I would read but as a person who is advancing in years I can relate to Esme and her circumstance. Good Luck and if there is a piece of advice I can give you I would suggest reading paragraphs or chapters aloud. Repetitive words and phrases really stand out when you hear them, also any sentences that are too long or awkward will be revealed.

Rick - Jack, I Am and They.

BHCG. You have obviously put a lot of work into the first 5/6 Chapters. After that, especially in 7/8 you let the momentum slide a little. This tends to be because you concentrate on catty remarks and overused techinal terminology. Generally, nurses and doctors in hospitals are overworked, have little time together to engage in so much verbal exchange. However, your subject is interesting it is great that someone is making the rest of us aware of what it is like to be at the stage of being sectioned from the pov of an elderly person.

Plot: I don't yet know what the plot is but your opening chapter creates plenty of ideas.

Pacing: First six chapters go well, easy and in accord with each other.

Characters: Esme, Dad with Baby, Hospital Porter okay. Elizabeth could maybe older. However the verbal exchanges between Julie and Dr Bailey seem a little exaggerated/cynical/sarcastic/catty etc.

Style: Generally okay but the introduction of Chapters7/8 detract from earlier Chapters. However your short chapters make for easy reading.

Paragraph.Sentence: Well structured. Some ammendments suggested below.

Dialogue: The characters speak with a consistent voice. okay.

Originality: Obviously experiential so , good.

Publishability: To begin with really need to iron out every possible glitch in first four chapters and look at chapters 7&8.

Chap.1: Lovely descriptive piece and intro to Esme. This first chapter is what drew me in.

Chap.2. Maybe do a word count of 'WAS' and try for alternatives e.g. It was deeply disturbing' (maybe She found it deeply disturbing).
'Telling you where you were yet still not know where you were.' (Maybe re-jig this).
Source of amusement -(to who?).
Global warming, tears of embarrassment, good.
Kitchen counter (worktop?)
Check use of commas throughout. (standing up to fetch some for herself and the young man,)

Chapter 3. Okay. keep looking at 'WAS'.

Chapter 4. (maybe, a familiar nervous mannerism).

Chapter 5. A great carry on from Chapter 4.
I thought she only had a Teddy Bear.
You've got some bruises and scrapes, dont you (re-write)

Chapter 6. Maybe, the man in the green uniform stood beside the trolley.
Tonnes or tons?
At first Kylie is looking for something to do. Suddenly she rushes through the notes not doing the job properly. Not too convincing when we know she had messed up before.
You start to become technical.
The 'catty' bits, if overdone, tend to be offputting.
Maybe delete para beginning: Dr Stevens is an idiot.
recorded Esme's basic observations, wheeling a monitor (maybe, after which she wheeled in).

Chapter 7. Maybe tone down the technical terminology.
Dr Bailey beginning to come over as unreal.

Chapter 8. Technical again, NP, MAU, CMHT. What is Pavolex used for? Lots of new names creeping in.

Chapter 9. A return to earlier style. okay.

Chapter 10. The big argument - all that time wasted when both are so busy doesn't fit well.

Hope this is useful - there is a lot of work involved. However, I'm sure you can sort these items out as your starting chapters are well written. Maybe, like all of us, you need someone to read through it - not a friend! Returning to Chapters 7&8, maybe you could make one of the characters likeable. Finally, it may be worth considering that it is not the NHS that is at fault but the Medical Community generally who have let themselves be badgered and bullied into practices which are isolated from patient care, especially emotional care.
All the best, Chris

Every bit as good as I thought it would be! Backed.

Stacey,

I just read your book. Sorry it took me so long on a return read. I really thought this was great. I'm more of a sci-fi person, but I just kept turning the pages on this one. I just love the vignettes of all the patients. I can't see much wrong with it. One comment I have is that the six year old kind of uses big words for her age. I have a 5 year old and I can't imagine him using a dictionary. Just a small nit. Anyway, once I shuffle my bookshelf a bit I will find room for you. You have helped my a ton with my book on the Rewriters Support group.

Decided to read this on the strength of the great Rob Heath's recommendation, and i can see why a writer as good as him was impressed by this.
This is highly efficient, very tense fiction. Esme's plight is believably and harrowingly rendered, and the bits with the little girl were touching.
In parts this reminded me of Jed Mercurio's "Bodies", but with a slightly hightened-reality type of feel, rather than his minimalist realism.
I'll be reading more of this when time allows, i've highly starred for now, and if you make a run for the ed's desk at any point let me know and i'll be glad to put this on my shelf.

A BHCF review.
Being a cheeky monkey on strong coffee I'm going to write my critique of Hospital Corners without a formal invitation to the party. Hope that's not a 'straight to execution' offense here.
First six chaps.

Plot – Intriguing opening that works very well. Very well written, friction-free flow to narrative.
Pacing – Again - just right wrt backstory intertwined well in narrative and forward momentum in the story.
Characters/Characterization - Can't fault Esme, new Dad but maybe a little inauthentic with 6yr old girl
Point of View/Voice - Weakness would be the girl but that is a relative weakness as the others work very well.
Style – Works well for me. assured, feels like the author has a deeper level of knowledge and doesn't feel the need to strut like a peacock. I love the 'sketched a genuflection' descriptions that show a light but deft touch.
Sentence level – on the whole friction free. Last para chap 4 'what TIME it is.'
Dialogue - italics with inner voices works well. No needless repetition with endíngs such as ', he thought.'
Originality - Very high in this respect.
Publishability - Damn your eyes Stacey as I wanted to be cool and disaffected but I really like your story. I've worked in Bath hospital and recognise the description well. Your story gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'patient's journey.'

I have only read upto the end of chap 6. I did experience a slight heart-sink moment during it as I felt the book slipping away into unbearable bleakness which would be a turn-off for this reader. The backstory with the little girl could be better without losing the necessary ambiguity ie dad's culpability wrt to her condition. And the bully on the ward adds to the tension but thick as I am I was still wondering who did cause the injuries as they are fresh and the dad was been awol for a week and the bully bedbound. I wondered if it was one of the nursing staff if I'm honest.

Overall though I have to say that so far this is excellent. A brutally high no. of stars from me as you have completely ruined my hopes of being detached and cruel.
Regards.

We aren't friends on here, so it won't let me message you.

Thanks for the critique and the advice. I guess I italicized Ashton because it isn't a real place. I corrected it along wit h the other nits you pointed out. We tend to miss the little things. :-) Thanks

This is a "Crit It Forward" Review.

Having just spent nearly 5 weeks sitting on a hard plastic chair next to my husband's bed in a large hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, I thought it ironic yet somehow appropriate that I drew your book to critique. (He's out now and we're back home and he is going to be OK, thank gods.) Hospitals are definitely like little self-contained worlds, and I am intrigued to see how you have used this to make a novel.

Starting with the pitches...the short pitch is cute, but it doesn't tell us much about the book. Is it fiction or nonfiction? Any hint as to genre or plot? To me, this is more of a tag line or ad slogan than a "pitch." The long pitch further confuses the issue by starting with a paragraph that sounds like the intro to a documentary film. Then we finally realize this is indeed a novel, but by then it's halfway down the long pitch and by that point I was getting bored. (sorry, being honest) Bottom line is, the pitches do not do the book justice and I'm sure you can do much better. Just tell us what the book is about and what kind of book it is, straight out, and then tell us about the characters. And end with a hint of what the point of it all is, instead of saying it's "one day in the life of..." because that makes it sound like a million other books.

Chapter 1 - I found the intro slow and wanted some action or dialogue. I'd like to see it plunge right into the story instead of such a long setup. Also, if one wing were maternity, where we are born, the other would be the terminal patients ward or whatever they call it, because you don't actually die in the morgue, your body is sent there after you die. I liked the identity crisis line and background on the hospital, but it would be better to slip this in after the story is actually rolling along, or else a lot of readers are never going to give this book a chance. I think you should start with Esme, and move on from there.

Chapter 2 - Now we're talking! I like this quirky character, she interests me. There are some little technical issues however. FYI, some of your terms are not international, if that matters to you. We don't have "Casualty" in the US, for example, not sure what that is. I assume you are writing for a world market, but maybe not. I LOVE the line about how disturbing it is to stand in front of a sign telling you where you were and still not knowing where you are...great line, familiar sensation. "...she berated herself" is not necessary, we know she is talking to herself. "...she scolded" likewise not necessary, we know that the italics mean she is speaking to herself. Why does she sometimes speak to herself in roman letters and other times in italics? This is confusing. Also there is something funny about the swarm muttering "excuse me" like it is one being...what about saying, "...A swarm of people appeared, pushing their way past her, each with a muttered 'Excuse me".... "She took several calming breaths before opening them..." them refers to breaths, the way it is written here, and I know you mean it to refer to "eyes" from the previous sentence. "...the single automatic door" - do you mean it is a single door as opposed to a double door, or do you mean it is the ONLY automatic door??? Good ending to the chapter, poor thing with no purse or spectacles! Makes me want to read on...

Chpater 3 - Nice switch to first person. And leaves me wanted to know what happened to Esme, very good hook.

Chapter 4 - How does she read the brass plaque without her spectacles?

No time to read on now, but I want to. The characters are interesting and the setting is unusual. I'll be back for more tomorrow! ~Gail

This is good. I won't back it if you're still working on it, because there seems no point getting to the top of the pile if you're not ready yet, but let me know when you want a slot on my shelf...

HOSPITAL CORNERS /brutal honesty read
Chapter 1. I like the way you begin the book by describing the hospital. Orients a reader immediately as to what to expect from such a jumbled place.
Chapter 2. We meet Esme. She’s an interesting character because she’s so confused, sympathetic because she’s lost her purse. I know what that feels like. If her hand is cut so badly, tho, she realizes she needs stitches, I’d think she’d be more concerned about getting to the emergency room rather than taking the time to stop for something to eat, but if that’s done to show how confused she is, okay. Otherwise, you might think about trimming a little to get to Brian faster.
Chapter 3. We meet Brian. This is an interesting exchange between a father and his first born. In the beginning of the chapter, he comes across as a really nice guy. For all the love he expresses toward his daughter, tho, he seems callous about his wife. Shouldn’t he express more feelings about how he’ll miss her? Maybe some anger she left him with this new baby? I mention that because at the end of the chapter I didn’t like him as much; he seemed more shallow than caring.
Chapter 4. Esme wanders some more. I like the way she can’t tell the doctors from the floor cleaners; so true. I’m worried about a doctor with a pink stethoscope; most of those which come in colors in the U.S. are cheap and don’t work well. Elizabeth is an interesting character (she never gives her name, tho, so if I hadn’t read your pitch, I wouldn’t know it). I don’t mean to nit-pik but her vocabulary seems extensive for a six year old. Particularly if this is a neglected child who hasn’t had a lot of stories read to her. And do post tonsillectomy patients really get ice cream? I thought that was a myth.
I’m stopping here to fix breakfast for a hungry child. Will get back to this tomorrow.

Hospital corners.

I have read six chapters of Hospital Corners and liked it very much It should be higher up the charrts than it is.

I liked your pitches and the title is great. Not sure about the cover. I know we are looking into the hospital, almost in a voyeuristic, secret way but the eye doesn't really tell the reader much about the book, I feel!

I like the format of the different chapters and guess that everyone will continue to feature. Esmé is great, well portrayed and I felt her confusion in that huge building and her frailty. But she has a feisty side as well, which I liked.
I wasn't too sure about the young man with the baby. Would he really have been wandering around the cafeteria carrying the baby in his arms if she had only just been born and he had lost his wife? It didn't convince me and I feel it would be better if Esme just encountered him in a corridor, looking dazed and weeping but of course this is your book and I can only make suggestions as a reader.

The little girl (poor thing) is well portrayed as well and it was a lovely moment when she allowed Esme to hug her. With the misunderstanding (or maybe not) about her home life you have taken the book into greater depth. This book is even more interesting than I thought it was going to be.

If I saw this on sale I would definitely buy it as I wonder where this story is going and how it will end. I hope to find time to read on.

A good idea for a book and having worked in hospitals (albeit a long time ago) it made me remember many of the strange and funny things that used to happen. I was agency! But I like to think I wasn't as bad as Kylie!

Thanks for a good read and I will back this as soon as the present desk is cleared.
Fontaine
(Legacy)

Hi Stacey
I think this is really good. You write very well and I was immediately drawn into the narrative - especially Esme's character. I liked her a lot. You do a great job of creating the hospital world, it's very well-described and I could feel it all through Esme's eyes.
Loved the opening line of the first chapter. Also liked the idea of a hospital 'with an identity crisis'
Typo in your blurb: 'Peggy plots of ways' should be 'plots ways'.
Have only read the first two chapters but would love to read more in time. Starred and will add to my shelf as soon as there's a space.
Sheila

The opening chapter, following a reasonably intriguing prologue, is well written but it did take a while to get going. Your descriptions are interesting but are probably a little too much for me.

Esme is definitely a sympathetic character and I'm interested to see what happens to her. I think maybe some readers will be looking for a stronger hook though.

I would definitely think about honing/trimming your description as it does swamp the progression of the plot a bit too much for my liking; personal preference and all that.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment. Good luck with your novel.

This is a hard one to sell, but the characters are written affectionately, and the author's insights give it validity. Solid, flowing, accurate prose (a nice change!)

Pitches might need more thought - to draw readers into this world you may need to offer a novel angle, the hint of a story arc. Just saying...

Glad I found this. 5 stars. room on the shelf soon).

PB
(The Pioneer)

Hospital Corners 27/11/2011

I came to this from a forum thread although I had been aware of it for some time. I have worked in a number of hospitals in a number of roles over the years and I think that is what stopped me reading.

I was struck immediately by the quality of the prose. This site has many wonderfully written books and a plethora of those that really need either a good tidy up or shooting at dawn. I could tell within the first chapter that this was one of the wonderfully written ones. There was no jarring, no confusion just a great flow, excellent construction and the promise of a relaxing and satisfying read. Hospitals are of course great fodder for the writer and having read the pitches I am really looking forward to this.

I think that the comment about the sandwiches in the vending machine could possibly be handled differently, Esme seems to be making an assumption which is perfectly valid but it is presented as if she had prior knowledge. Does the bread look dry, how does she know the spread is cheap. (I would like to take this opportunity to say please take anything I say with a pinch of salt. It is my humble and ignorant opinion as I read and I am only a wannabe writer and voracious reader. I never mean the comment to be criticism per se but simply observations).

You have created Esme so very well that I can see her in my minds eye, the hesitant pride and the diffidence. Her confusion and barely controlled panic is really painful to witness.

Now how did you do that. Right from the start of the chapter about Brian I knew, I just knew and yet it wasn’t until the end that it was stated. Clever writing.

With little Ellizabeth one tiny thing that jarred was that she said that she spoke “proper” I think that if the person does in fact speak “proper” one who had good diction and a higher intelligence would at least say “properly” or maybe “correctly”. Of course the chapter about Elizabeth was heart rending and although I thought you captured the confusion very well I did think that at times the voice was a little older than six. Then again who can remember exactly how our thoughts flowed at that age. I liked the confusion about the bruised, the reader was left wondering just exactly what the truth was.

I like the construction of this, a little trip with Esme through the hospital and indeed round the Hospital Corners a very clever conceit.

Oh dear, the agency nurse! All I can say is yes, I recognise that. (teeny thing, you have Resus repeated very quickly and it does jar a little – hope you don’t think I’m nitpicking I truly am trying to be helpful).

I think that the arrogant doctor was well illustrated and now things seem to be going downhill for poor Esme.
Well now at chapter 10 and I think I may have an idea about what is going on. I will need to keep reading to see if I’m right won’t I.

I can see why this has been so highly regarded and I am more than happy to give you many stars. I will put you on my list for shelving but this new system does slow things down doesn’t it. Thanks for a lovely read.

Edit from further reading

Poor Lottie and Poor Stewart, a very powerful and disturbing chapter.

In chapter 13 I think that there is a missing word. In the para starting It’s like Mary Poppin’s bag, I think that the word “keys” is needed after “a set of generic and unlabelled house”

I have sussed it now and I am very impressed. It isn’t just a collection of short stories, though if I was they would be excellent in themselves but the connecting thread is becoming clearer and I actually feel quite pleased with myself.

Aha and a nice little extra twist with the Hollywood star. I have to admit that some of this is very hard reading as a dear friend committed suicide while suffering from post natal depression but it is a super book.

(Chapter 22 I guess that should be Lothario – just a teeny typo but I like it when people point mine out, I think it helps with the editing)

Well I have read all that is posted. I was totally enthralled that’s all I can say.

OMG, why haven't I read this before now? I've read CH1 several times but now I'm up to Ch19 and I have to stop because I need to take my child out!

Stacey, I've not picked up on any issues but this is a lovely, compelling read. To begin with, it's like watching an episode of casualty, all the different patients, all the different stories. I had tears in my eyes at the end of Ch3, I worried about little girl Elizabeth, then I started to realise the tales were all one. That is fabulously done. I never once thought any of the tales weren't from the here and now.

The hospital staff are all great, all individual and real. Esme is even better.

Great stuff.

Well done, Stacey.

Cx

eta - had to read the rest. um... can I read the end?