Read books online - Partners by Richard McStay

Cool1 wrote 17 days ago

Thank you for comenting Partners. I appreciate the help from other members that take the time to read and comment.
Rich McStay

Interesting start that set you up for the shock of find out the truth.

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Billy Young wrote 17 days ago

Interesting start that set you up for the shock of find out the truth.

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Cool1 wrote 74 days ago

Thank you for your time reading and commenting on Partners.
Rich McStay

Dear Richard,

Here are my thoughts on PARTNERS.

A few nit-picks first: I noticed that the words ‘whether’ and ‘weather’ traded places and a little later ‘soul’ and ‘sole’ decided to follow suit as well. One possible implication may be that someone else typed this out for you. There are a few other typos, but nothing major. A careful read through can easily fix them. Overall, the writing is solid.

At first, I had some trouble figuring out the settings and felt that the premise of the meteor impact with its after-effects was a little half-baked. But soon, as I read more about the life of John Buchanan and slowly got to know his friends, Ben and Dick, the bleak situation became apparent and I found myself warming up to the characters. The story began to grow on me as I read the first 2 chapters. I had to stop for paucity of time, but plan to come back and finish it later.

My rating: 6 stars for now.

You’ve painted a very interesting picture of a post-apocalyptic world. And it serves as a convenient backdrop for the core plot revolving around ‘partners’. The narrative was coherent and the pace was right. The second chapter added a very scary and disturbing angle to the story. The threat of a scheming and manipulative authority in the wake of a natural disaster added to the sense of danger and desolation. The after-effects of the calamity are also better described here. A small suggestion: The chapters I read had very little dialogue. Personally, I have no issues with that as I really enjoyed the info dump on the state of the world. But, some others may not like this. So, you need to consider this aspect well.

Best regards,
AGC

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A G Chaudhuri wrote 74 days ago

Dear Richard,

Here are my thoughts on PARTNERS.

A few nit-picks first: I noticed that the words ‘whether’ and ‘weather’ traded places and a little later ‘soul’ and ‘sole’ decided to follow suit as well. One possible implication may be that someone else typed this out for you. There are a few other typos, but nothing major. A careful read through can easily fix them. Overall, the writing is solid.

At first, I had some trouble figuring out the settings and felt that the premise of the meteor impact with its after-effects was a little half-baked. But soon, as I read more about the life of John Buchanan and slowly got to know his friends, Ben and Dick, the bleak situation became apparent and I found myself warming up to the characters. The story began to grow on me as I read the first 2 chapters. I had to stop for paucity of time, but plan to come back and finish it later.

My rating: 6 stars for now.

You’ve painted a very interesting picture of a post-apocalyptic world. And it serves as a convenient backdrop for the core plot revolving around ‘partners’. The narrative was coherent and the pace was right. The second chapter added a very scary and disturbing angle to the story. The threat of a scheming and manipulative authority in the wake of a natural disaster added to the sense of danger and desolation. The after-effects of the calamity are also better described here. A small suggestion: The chapters I read had very little dialogue. Personally, I have no issues with that as I really enjoyed the info dump on the state of the world. But, some others may not like this. So, you need to consider this aspect well.

Best regards,
AGC

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Cool1 wrote 84 days ago

Thank you so much for your comments on Partners. I appreciate yout time reading and the supportive comments you left.
Richard McStay

PARTNERS
This is an interesting story. I like the way that things seem to get mixed up in the future just as badly as they do today. John is a good character; a small thing, tho. Are you sure in the futre people will still smoke? Won’t everyone be so aware of lung cancer by that time, cigarettes are banned? But who really knows. The whole idea of this is no clever, I read much longer into the story than I meant to because I was so interested in what the future will be like. I only stopped because I don’t have a partner so have to leave for work and do that myself. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

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Wanttobeawriter wrote 84 days ago

PARTNERS
This is an interesting story. I like the way that things seem to get mixed up in the future just as badly as they do today. John is a good character; a small thing, tho. Are you sure in the futre people will still smoke? Won’t everyone be so aware of lung cancer by that time, cigarettes are banned? But who really knows. The whole idea of this is no clever, I read much longer into the story than I meant to because I was so interested in what the future will be like. I only stopped because I don’t have a partner so have to leave for work and do that myself. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

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David Price wrote 95 days ago

Richard, I think you have an interesting story here, but from what I've read so far, and please bear in mind that this is only my opinion, I felt it lacked pace and energy. I also picked up a couple of spelling errors, e.g. in para 4, you write 'weather' instead of 'whether'. In para 2, you seem to have unintentionally added an 'I' before 'Ann'. It may sound like nit-picking, but these small details can affect the reader's experience.
David 'Master Act: a memoir'

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AuroraNemesis wrote 120 days ago

A delicious read, with a very strong opening.
You’re writing flows well and you seem at ease with your writing style.
Our characters are first rate and add colour and dimension to your scenes.
A colourful dialogue with a staccato feel, that draws the writing on.
Good ending on your chapters lead you on to reading the next chapter
I enjoyed reading and would recommend.
Well done

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David J Baron wrote 137 days ago

Hi Richard

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

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Su Dan wrote 167 days ago

excellent and descriptive narrative moves this along and helps the story on its way...
l will back...
read SEASONS...

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Cool1 wrote 246 days ago

Hi Silver Fox: I am hopeing to post The Bat, which is an after death adventure/romance. If I can find a way to retreave the missing chapters from a dead computer, I will put it up soon. I had it posted, but found out most of the book was on a bad computer. Thanks for asking and I will let you know if I get it posted.
Rich-Cool1

Cool1, I loved Partnes, and Donna. Are you working on anything to be submitted in the future?

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silver fox 1 wrote 246 days ago

Cool1, I loved Partnes, and Donna. Are you working on anything to be submitted in the future?

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DesiS. wrote 304 days ago

Thank you for sharing your story. There are some minor editorial issues to address- many of which have to do with capitalization of non- proper nouns. Also check your punctuation with quotation marks and this seems to be done inconsistently. Misspelling on your tags- Currupt (corrupt?)Partners: Intro- explain what a 'partner' is. Chapter one- good setting the scene for the story- however other than the discussion of the partner/pilot having his legs cut off to fit the space nothing is really 'gripping". "There (their?) controls kept them on task." Chapter 2- "When the Service Plaza was in sight, Rich felt like his Bladder (why is this capitalized?) would burst. Chapter 2 repeated twice and chapter 3 missing. Chapter 4- Martin thought he could hoot them through the Knee Cap (don't capitalize) and then Shoulders (don't capitalize) and cause some real pain. Chapter 6- "No Doubt (don't capitalize) they are!" Chapter 7- "The dam (damn?) thing is doing a good job." and "Fortunately al (all?) three were out of town when the tsunamis washed away..." Chapter 8- "Vicks mentholated save (salve?) would do the trick." and "Donna tried to pitcher (picture?) John as described by her friend..." Chapter 9- You seem to use Michelle and Henrietta interchangeably for names for Martin's wife- not clear if this is the same person. and "The dam (damn) thing was hiding in the same notch." Chapter 10- Her Blond (blond?) hair annoyed her..." and "Martin looked through the Kitchen (kitchen?) window,..." Chapter 11- "Although there was no traffic on the Asphalt Road (is the the proper name of the road?) and "He had been a overweight manager of a Burger king (King?)..." and "I Ain't (ain't) that anxious to put on that crap any way (anyway?)." Chapter 12- "While Stanley devoured his Berger (burger?) and fries..." and "Lesser Kings and Presidents would bowel (bow?) before him." Hope this is helpful. Best Wishes. Desi.

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