The Town that Danced

This has been on my watchlist for ages so hope you are still around. I thoroughly enjoyed The Town that Danced, it reminded me so much of where I used to live - but don't any more fortunately. Ah, the curse of the committee! Very well written, some great characters and a very funny story. Lots of stars

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

This book was a pleasure to read. You convey that small town mentality so well. Your characters are well drawn and distinct and both touching and quirky in equal measure. I have watch listed "The Town That Danced" and awarded a constellation of stars. Good luck on your way to the ED. Yours Bea

Oh I just had to pop in after only reading the first chapter to tell you this. The town you describe sounds exactly like Bridlington where I live. A small (dying off) coastal resort in Yorkshire. Honestly, it's just like that. Also, my great uncle Ike had a fish and chip shop for years and it was called the Happy Haddock, how funny :)

I'll be back later with proper comments :) Just had to tell you that. x

wow! you have something great here. I'm impressed how you manipulated reality situations into a story. The government/Councils could use your work promote tourist destinations. You gave personality to the sun and sea and ice cream etc. I love your craftsmanship and creativity.
6 stars and recommended

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

I so love this, Sandie. Love the characters, the petty-mindedness of the committee, ‘they’re boggin’ – haven’t heard that in years. AeIita and John… just ahhh. Sweet. I liked Boswell’s ominous prediction of what’s to come. I liked that Lizzy and Bertie’s relationship was sweet, not some sex-fest. Nice touch.

Nit – Ho[w] much more discrete can we be, Bertie?

blown away by the pitch...

nice opening.

pretty good pacing lets be honest, good style, strong story, beautiful use of words. I'm gonna come back and finish it when my baby stops teething.

Shrapnel.

This has blown me away. It isn’t just a story, it’s an experience. I’m living in Mardow-by-Sea, drifting through it like one of the Voices in ‘Under Milk Wood.’ Shades of Dylan Thomas too in the descriptive narrative, rich as chocolate or good red wine, and at the same time sharp and funny. If there’s anything to be ‘constructive’ about, I can’t see it. I’m too involved.
Highly rated, will go on my shelf at the next shuffle.
Helen Meikle
Six Weeks in Summer.

The town that danced is a story that is well told. Alive and creative. Nice writing.Well done.
Josphine

I've read the first three chapters, this is wonderfully good. Well done for some very good writing - and it has plenty of funny moments.
Andrea

You've a good story here which by the end of chapter 4 has brought out the problems of the town and its people epitomised by George beating to death Lizzy. In the tradition of English dark humour, Tom Sharp and his Blott novels perhaps and, you might not like this, Midsommers Murders, I will read on with interest to see which way you go - critical exposure or cosy exploitation. George, Vince and Bertie are well drawn but Aelitta and John less so which matters if they are to carry the good heart of the story. Also you lose me sometimes when you have multiple characters - in the committee room for example. But I really like it when you comment on your narrative - when you say George will kill this popular girl - that gives me an assurance that you've planned everything and know what you're doing. Very good stuff.

I expected a good story here, and I'm not disappointed. The story flows naturally with strong visuals and characters. I find present tense difficult to write and sometimes awkward to read, but Town that Danced is a perfect example of present tense working flawlessly in the storyline. The characters spring alive and nobody seems mundane. Brilliant style - high stars for one of Autho's finest authors.
Lizzi
God of Wine

So glad to see a book that has been really well-edited before posting. I like the writing – it is very tight and the descriptions are vivid – I find I just visualise everything very clearly as I am reading it. The setting is really one of the characters, isn't it? I love the way you describe the town and the community. The dialogue is also very tight.
My shelf is busy right now, but I’m giving this six stars and putting it on my W/L.
Good Luck
Victoria Hunter

Sandie, what are you doing to promote this amazing book? Why isn't it higher in the rankings? I'm doing three other things as I read through manuscripts today, and even so I know I'm in the hands of a master story-teller. I feel as if I've been dropped into this little threadbare community and am sitting in the Anchor listening in as the locals tell me their tale. In two short chapters I know the interrelatedness of the locals, their quirks, their loves. I'm adding you to my bursting WL and hope to be able to back it soon.

~AudreyB

I've just read through extracts of a dozen books looking for something to put on my shelf. This one stands out head and shoulders above the rest. There's no evidence of construction or contrivance; the story simply unfolds with a life of its own. Bookshelf space filled to perfection.

Fantastic opening paragraph which sets the scene nicely. You could have almost been describing Blackpool! There were a lot of characters to get my head around in chapter 1 and I found myself making a list of them so I didn't get lost but once they stuck in the old grey matter it was full steam ahead. The committee members characters are strong and interact nicely with each other. Speech and dialogue work perfectly together. I was just a little confused about what era this is set in? I presume it's not modern by the way you describe the smoke in the pub especially from the pipe so it certainly doesn't seem to be modern times. Maybe a little hint of when this is set at the beginning? The line you dropped in about George killing Lizzy was great. Just a little taster of what is to come; nice way to ensure that the reader keeps turning the page. Very well done and six stars.

Km (Pain)

this opening has changed a load since last i read it, and entirely to the good!

time's fluid interjections, in the flashfoward of a throwaway remark, add an agreeably telescoped effect to this narrative. a nice mix of straight narration and live action. is george from the off too brutish? does it matter?

one thing i might suggest is to enhance the effect of "gathering", narratively i mean, which is there i think implicitly, and whose power to pull one in might be made even more irresistible were there a stronger strand running through it, cohering it like a net.

the sparkian sparks of the witty juxtapositions work well with an intelligence which never seems overly brittle.

One of the most moreish books I've read in a long time. Certainly deserving of a space on any bookshelf.

Gillian

You have a very unique voice--I like it. It is different, yet done very well. The dialogue flows perfectly between your characters as does the rest of your writing. You use a lot of words, but they are all necessary--full of information, without a lot of fluff--just good substance. You have a really good book here. Rated high! Blessings, Lacy

The Town that Danced

The strongest aspect of this book is the superb writing. Gripping and succinct when it is appropriate, yet poetic and captivating throughout. I love your descriptions. You create analogies that often liken things that seem completely different, yet work perfectly to create a sense of place. The pacing is, for the most part, a perfect fit for your plot, and by chapter three or four, I found myself unable to stop reading even if I had wanted to.

You've done an excellent job with a story that is extremely complex. The plot, while incredibly dramatic and interesting, is not necessarily one that is too hard to understand. Where I really see your talent is in the multitude of characters I feel I already intimately know. At first, I was worried that too many were introduced in far too great of detail for me to feel truly connected, but by the end of chapter two/chapter three, I felt firmly immersed in the story. Although you could go on for chapters about the individual lives and details of each character, you distill it down to the pertinent characteristics, behaviors, and life experiences that drive them, and the ones that make them memorable for us in just a paragraph or two. Truly impressive.

That being said, there are not any characters that I feel are weak or uninteresting. From George and his wife (and her possible murder scheme and mis-communicated lesbian affair) to the Cantonese family of three that owns a shop by Vincent's ice cream parlor - all hold my interest. Even the town and its scenery (which feels like a character in itself) is captivating. Because of this, when we switch our focus to someone new, I never feel a sense of boredom or desire to go back to the character I am most interested in - all of them are excellent.

And in reference to setting - the way we switch from scenery, to a specific character, to the national news and so on, feels as though I am looking through a set of binoculars, constantly adjusting my zoom on this tiny little town. It's a wonderful journey. I am not exactly sure what time this is set in - I'm not sure that matters. I was annoyed by it at first, but then it started to add to the mystery and surreal aspect of the book, so I actually began to like it.

I truly don't think I have anything negative to say. The only point I would make is that I felt lost at the beginning - worried that I was being introduced to so many characters that I wouldn't remember, and also didn't feel much of anything for, as the rapid-fire introduction of so many left my head-spinning. As I said, you rectify this quickly by making them all memorable and worthy of my attention, so I'm not sure it's a criticism (maybe just an observation). If there is a way you could add a little more to the beginning plot-wise, as opposed to (what feels like) a group of character introductions, that might help. I would worry that a reader may read the first chapter or two and feel too over-whelmed to continue. Then again, the best novels are not for those who would like to shut off their brains while reading.

I wish you the best of luck with this. I'm sure it will see the desk soon.

-Katy
The Promenade

Life so gets in the way of reading - but finally got back to this and read chapter 4 - really tense scene and delivers the promised hook. I felt Lizzy's curse could have been more sinister as it is highlighted in the pitch. This is definitely going on my shelf, next time I rotate and I will be reading on to see how George gets out this one. Small note - you use 'inky night' twice (in two different character POV's), maybe use something else for the second one. Juliet

Dear Sandie

I have read the first four chapters of "The Town That Danced" this afternoon. I find your writing rich and rewarding, and worth taking time over. I just could not rush through it. There is depth here, that I don't often find. The pacing is good, the setting well described. Some of your descriptive passages are so beautiful, like poetry. Your subtle, clever use of language feels genuine. I like reading aloud and find myself wondering whether this could feature as a book at bedtime, or be made into a play.

I have only one suggestion worth mentioning, which is that you check your use of tenses. More often than not, you write in the past tense, and then move to present. Occasionally there is a mixture of the two, which I found a little odd. Now and then, I felt that they sat uncomfortably close together.

Other than that, not much to add. Sprinkled with lots of stars! On my WL. I hope you do well.

Fran Macilvey "Trapped" :)

It's shelved so I'll do the crit ;-)

Something struck me in the first few paragraphs and I went looking for it subsequently and found it to be less apparent: Aelita's opening dialogue - her voice sounds exactly like your narrator's. I then got picky and went through all your other dialogue for a few chapters to see if this was the case with everyone and it isn't. It's even less apparent with Aelita afer the first chapter. Pratchett does this all the time and gets away with it, and it doesn't matter at all when he does it but I have a feeling it's not the effect you were after.

You know what the good stuff is in here. I shall leave you shelved until you no longer wish to be :)

Just finished chapter 3 and loving the voice. I am finding I am getting a little confused by who is who - there are a lot of characters in chapter 3 to get my head around. Will definitely read on. Juliet

This is a great opening chapter. You really capture the small town mentality and the eccentric, self-serving, and delightful characters that inhabit places such as this. A fine start. I will be reading further. Juliet

Spare, oddly poetic prose. There's an engagingly immediate, almost filmic feel to the writing. Real and involving dialogue. Interesting sense of an original, rather playful storyline taking shape. Really good stuff. Starred and shelved.

Hello Sandie,
Chaps 1-2. Had to stop due to time constraints. Would love to be reading this in the bath. In a sturdy bathing costume of course.
What an entertaining read. A very high standard of wrting, perceptive prose and succinct character delineation.
The start is smooth and immediately familiar. I was gliding along in 'Midsommer' England untill the sentence 'Those working...A Sisyphian task..' Just sounded a little too forced. Compare that to the wonderful 'This unacknowledged truth envelopes every word.'
I've never seen Fergus spelt Ferghus but I could well be wrong there.
The extended fire metaphor was the only part that, I thought, didn't fit. I read it as John's POV-or at least by association his thoughts- but it sounded too feminine and too wrought for him.
It's a balancing act with Aletia-different but on the surface similiar and this is handled well.
You capture the essence of these places fantastically well Sandie. As I said it's very familiar territory which can only help re a publisher's mindset. A sweeping, assured piece of writing that works. I can see why this is in the 100s and hopefully will go further.
On my WL . High stars. Aiming to back it.
All the Best and Thank You.
John
Dropping Babies.(if you could find the time for a return read I'd be chuffed).

Sandie, this is wonderful. You've managed to capture the intimate, sometimes claustrophobic nature of small town life and introudced a wealth of distinctive characters within just a few chapters. I love it, starred and on my WL, will back.

As to be expected, beautifully written. About to go to the airport to fly to, God forbid, Manchester, so no time for in depth comments today. Shelved, though, with pleasure.

I like the opening paragraph, but I wondered if then wandering off into a committee meeting was a way to capture the reader's interest afterwards.

Also, I wanted to know whether you were deliberately making it timeless, or just hadn't spent enough time extablishing the era and background. It could be anytime from the 1930's onwards or even earlier, as you haven't even put a mobile phone in or have the committee members using a laptop, rather than pen and papers.

If you wanted it timeless I think it would benefit from a little more descriptive ambiguity of the people, buildings and village. If it was supposed to be modern then I think you need to emphasise that more. Just bring out the era (or lack ot one) more.

Very nicely done! Happy to place your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown.
Sue50

'Etched with pale tension ..... a voice that would 'rake the senses.'
Ah, yes. If I were addicted to strong and excellent coffee, it would taste like this, and I would be bathed in pleasure, and relief.
But you know this anyway, I've said it before, and I still can't back you cos they've put a ring of steel around my book case.

There was another writer on here, Ingrid, who was wonderful, and altho comparisons are iffy, there is a similarity. Perhaps the quality.
Good choice of tense, present, alert, in the now, doing. Perceptive, well told...'says through a puff of smoke,'
Narrative, exchanges do sometimes veer to brittle, but i don't mind that because I just drink the good writing.
Anyway, there you go. Cannot see any probs with you in the future; it's everybody else.
You know that, too.
If you want me to look at anything in particular?
x

Solid writing skills, and a story that zips along at an engaging pace make this a great read.
I haven't read as much as I'd like due to a groaning WL, but I can see this is good stuff.

Good luck - I'm sure this will do well.
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

OK, so I gotta admit I never liked the title, still don't think that short pitch does it justice, PLUS I already know whodunnit and how come. So then, why do I keep on reading and reading and reading and reading and...?

Cuz it's well spun, Milady. Backed--you sure can write!

E.R.

My Dear Sandie,

I find myself in abit of a bind. You can certainly write, no doubt about it. Your dialogue is believable and flows well, and you bring character through tone of voice very well - and that's not easy to pull off. You also capture, as other comments say, that rural seaside town atmosphere perfectly - there's claustrophobia with the tweeness, a collective sleepy cowardice that allows dark deeds to be carried out. And while there are splashes of cliche to each character - the gruff but well meaning falconeer, the rage fuelled, ambitious ex soldier turned tycoon, the well intentioned but slightly naive foppish lord - you clearly love each character enough to bring them to life in a way that's a pleasure to read.

But whats the impetus for the reader to keep reading? They know from the off that the barmaid will be killed - so thats not a shocker when it happens. They know the culprit too - so its not a murder mystery, reading to keep you guessing as a detective tries to put the puzzle together. Even if you didn't tell the reader who the murderer was, George is by far and away the biggest and only real nasty piece of work in the town - so unless he was an obvious red herring (he isn't) - then we know who killed her anyway. So are we just reading to find out when George will be caught and bought to justice - and how much damage he will cause before he is stopped? Doesn't seem like enough to keep me turning the pages, no matter how perfectly you capture rural seaside townlife.

If, on the other hand, it's more about the curse, an underlying evil, magical forces at work - then I feel like the pace is moving a little slowly. The tone is too grounded in reality for these first eight chapters - it needs a splash more magic, or gothic shadows, to foreshadow these themes. The murder needs to happen earlier, too - to show its the catalyst for the plot, rather than what the plot revolves around.

It would really help your narrative drive if you stuck from the viewpoint of less, perhaps even just one, character. While I finally am getting my head around a few key characters by the eighth chapter, I would like a stronger focus on one personality to identify with and root for, to guide me through the coming dark storm of madness.

Hope this helps and you take my words as a sign of how much I became invested in your story, rather than letting it get you down.

Yours,
Gitano Dragonetti

Hi Sandie,
You really can write, you know?
Your characterisations are superb and you set the scene so well.
The people in your book really do jump out off the page and the dialogue is smooth and clever.
Love it!

I do like stories set in quirky little towns so this definitely appealed to me when reading your blurb.

I like ensemble casts as well and yours is perfectly managed and portrayed. George in particular is horrendous! Your description of the characters and settings are very well done- I can see these places in my head!

I would say that Lizzy’s demise was a slight negative for me, all over in a couple of paragraphs. Although I appreciate it isn’t meant to be all blood and guts but maybe a little more build up and verbal dialogue between the two? And the branch- to me it didn’t seem the best thing to bludgeon someone with. And even though it says she was beaten I still wondered at the time if he’d maybe stabbed her with it! I just kept seeing a thin branch rather than anything of any substance. These are minor points, please feel free to ignore them!

This is the sort of book I would buy; so many people, so many things for them to get up to… intriguing stuff.

Best of luck with this one!

LF XL Review

Your writing is rich, highly descriptive, and compelling. The story (got to the end of Chpt 4) is gripping and enjoyable. I rather think that occasionally you get carried away with description and/or put words into mouths that are really the narrator's thoughts?

I am interested in your use of third person present tense. Unlike many I like present tense and would usually encourage an author to use it, however I am not absolutely certain that it works in this story. I can see that you have to use third person - and that's fine - but the subject matter seems to me to call for past tense. I may well be wrong!

Although your storyline is clear and rushes us along at a good steady pace there are just one or two bits that I do not find very believable. The 'Committee' seems to have the widest possible remit, from facades to bonking earls - I am a bit lost as to who they represent. I am also a bit sceptical about the Estate in that it seems to be populated by over-exaggerated figures, falconers with seven children, gangs of military-style volunteers, cheese-seeking cats, and a manager that any half-decent earl would have sacked years ago! That said it is a good enjoyable romp.

I like this book, will back it, and will read on.

Oh, this is good, Dent. Very, very good and getting better with each page. I think you have something here. It flows across the page with the utmost of ease. I think you’ve found your métier. Thus far I can’t recall having stopped a single time thinking ‘well, this doesn’t work.’ I refuse to use that tired moniker ‘page-turner’, but let’s just say that I find myself suddenly looking forward to getting on the Underground, manuscript clutched in paw, and miffed when I have to get off and put it away.

This is brilliance: ‘There were things he’d coerced her into doing she would not even disclose were she stretched upon the rack, fingernails pulled out with pliers and hot oil poured onto her sorry flesh. These things, these sordid memories, she’ll take with her to her own grave, to be buried in the black earth where they can seep slowly down to hell.’ !!!

And this brought tears to my jaded eyes while riding on public transport: ‘The softness of woman is wasted on man with his angular thrust, his intense grip, his desire to invade rather than revere. A woman is not a diamond to be hacked and pilfered and cut into sharp edges. She’s a pebble of blues and greys and pinks, to be smoothed gently over time into something comforting and pleasing to hold.’

Oh, yeah. And I’m so sure it will call forth a torrent from the eyes of a hundred thousand woman who know its meaning far better than I ever will.

Write on. I will have more!

- B

Excellent. There are a lot of names in this and I admit to occasional confusion. You certainly know how to write, though, and it's at ;east 5 stars and a backing.
Nitpick: 'Parted' not 'partied'.

The Town that Danced
Hi Sandie,
I’ve just had the pleasure of reading some chapters of your beautifully-written book. The first paragraph lured me in. I lived in Padstow for a while and in winter, with ‘grey sky and shuttered hotels’, the atmosphere of the town was so different to that in summer. You capture that change so well. And then, when I reached : ‘When George Delaney furiously beats this popular girl to death’ I was hooked. That one short paragraph, with a murder so casually introduced, raised so many questions about those three characters alone that I had to read more. An engrossing story, inspired characterisation and technically flawless. High stars and will look to shelve you as soon as I have some room.
Kat xx

Read 44 days ago, more chapters here now. 'Professionally' edited, not a typo in sight, characters that demand attention and all in that easy-going style that flows smoothly along taking the reader by the hand and ensuring they remain entranced. You're not the best writer on Authonomy, but you're bloody close! I remain intrigued by the genre classification - 'fiction.' No more, no less. Okay, I can live with that. Back on my shelf with customary, by now, admiration.
Jake

Dear Sandie,
Your pitch doesn’t do the quality of your writing justice. From the first sentence, I was hooked. I used to work in a seaside town in the holidays and have lived by the coast most of my life. You describe perfectly, that contrast in the seasons.
There are so many places that holidaymakers think are idyllic but have no idea of the hardship that bubbles beneath the surface – of people who work their backsides off for a few months of the year just to see themselves through the winter months. Somehow you evoke all these conflicts and emotions up in a couple of sentences. Genius!
As real as the location is even more real are your characters. They’re as warm as the summer season and I instantly fell in love with them. In fact, I was so sucked in I was a little sad when you abandoned Aelita for Lizzy. Thank goodness, she appears in the next scene, too. I say scene as you painted pictures in my head.
I loved how people ‘keep time’ by Boswell, too. Again, I’ve worked and drunk in a local where I used to do precisely that.
It was in the bar that I stopped taking detailed notes but in short this is excellent prose, well-crafted and as realistic as being there. It is my pleasure to back this.
Kipper

Sandie,

You have a patient, evocative, lovely style, something to be savored rather than rushed. I love this about your writing. In this case, I can't help but feel that it's in direct conflict with the use of present tense, but I must confess that I am almost always distracted by it. A big thing, but a small thing in some ways too, should you decide to change it. I"m sure you have your reasons. You create a vivid scene that one wants to inhabit, characters that breathe off the page from the start.

I like the foreshadowing of George's crime and I remember you speaking of this somewhere before (your blog?); however I would have liked to get a small feel for him prior to it. As it stands, I was startled by it and felt that maybe I had missed something about George, only to scan back and find that this was his introduction. I think the shock will have more effect with a short mundane sketch of him, only to be walloped with the crime. Also...would think about taking out "furiously" and replace, perhaps, with some inkling, some clue, of what he was furious about. Nothing to blow the whole thing, but something.

Just some brief, initial thoughts. Head and shoulders above most.

Mary

THE TOWN THAT DANCED

Can't believe I didn't review this yet! please forgive me.
I'm writing this after I've read it all...well, i wrote the notes as I went but THIS I'm writing afterwards.
This is a finely crafted piece of work Ms Zand. Something to be proud of and I hope you're well on your way to finishing it.

COVER: Works for Authonomy because it's suggestive of heat/fire and the text pops but who can tell what the image behind the text is? not me. I think I see a face in the upper left. Doesn't matter but should you ever desire...just let me know...as you well know.

TITLE: I like it. Feels retro somehow...makes me think 1980s. You might hate that but I don't.

SHORT PITCH: a glut of chinese lanterns? hm. not sure about that. doesn't get my noonies flappin...unless this is set in Asia? but the rest does... Although I don't know what a Mardow-by-Sea is??? yes yes you explain in the very next breath but if I read this on a movie poster (or a book cover) and that's how I gauge these things, I might not read further...well, unless there was a Author photo beside if of course. the mass insanity is what draws me most (of course).

LONG PITCH: Is this a murder mystery? hm. Lord Belafry...a lover...so dreamy. Feels like your drawing on your gypsy roots for this one? I hope the printed version includes photos of you as Aelita - in your twenties wearing all those scarves. So spicy! No really, this works just fine...

TEXT:
I don't think I want to holiday at MbS...great first line but doesn't make me want to visit. heh.

Yes, filled with lovely bits. I read straight through and am now returning to the start to add my thoughts...
"You forgot the birth of Rock and Roll" = v nice!

Might be slight overkill on the town description being once terrific but now faded etc.the paragraph that starts "The town is beautiful..." starts to feel...like a repeat somehow of the first.

If I'm honest and I try to be...I'm somewhat bored reading about the castle grounds. sorry...I just want more Aelita at this point and instead I'm reading about the castle...but only for a few paragraphs I suppose. I also wonder why I'm reading about John again at this point.... after the Bertie description the John biz is starting to feel like opening a Playbill and getting a list of characters and who they are. sorry!

"He moves with (an)? unfeasibly large family"

It's unclear to me in these descriptions...is John unhappy with his family life exactly and meeting with Aelita for a tryst? if so...you've not painted a man with such a large family having an affair in the ugly fashion I'd imagine most would see him? ...yet I guess...but it feels odd to me that you devote a paragraph to his family life description and in none of it is he made... unattractive... needs some clarity I think...

"Aelita knows Lizzy with the usual illusion..." sentences like this make me work unnecessarily to understand what you're saying for something with such little significance to the story. Especially when the rest of the paragraph does the same thing as the sentence only better (to me anyway, heh)

There is a good deal of extra detail that has me thinking about a character/the setting/a smell/etc that while is probably great for developing the textures of the book...slows things and doesn't focus me on what the story is...and in the first chapter...i don't want to feel slowed in that way.

You're losing me with the focus on the town business.
We begin with a brief town explanation move on to Aelita and John....and then barely interact with Aelita again and instead get into town politics...and well...they're really not fraught with enough drama to really keep me engaged.
I wonder why this first chapter isn't more Aelita and John - character development...pulling us into the town and its politics? Still...some of these characters are great fun and I look forward to seeing them down the line.

gah...you know...this verges on being a little preachy. in the first chapter and a half I keep getting a "but you outsiders don't get it, don't understand, are too quick to judge, to not take the time to know" etc. sorry... Maybe preachy can be thought of as a good thing. Especially if the overall tone of the work will be Victorian in some fashion. ? Maybe its just me...maybe I feel like an outsider and your descriptions are so good I feel like there's a preachy "but you don't get it" quality...hm. but there are points like the "but those who do not know a person often make false presumptions" passage...that directly give me the fingerwag.

Hm, possibly you didn't develop them in the first chapter so you could build the mystery as to what they were/are and have the town tongues wag a bit first?

so John is a man in who is unsatisfied with his wife but has continued to have sex with her and with 6 kids already didn't stop the action for a seventh? Is he a dumbass?

"you'll have to flush out the pipe" heheh

So after chapter 2...I can see its to be less about the pair...and how you're building this...

the focus on the paint color is great. I wish he didn't cave so quickly to his customers though...but I suppose he hasn't repainted yet.

Ah I see, it's not blue, it's black.
Part of me wishes you opened with this...but then you know that I bet.
Ohh, I liked Lizzy...shame she had to go. damn that George!

and just when it was getting good heheh.

Welll...you know me...good for little but I hope something I said is worth a noonie flap.

Rawk.
-=B

Hi Sandie, First off, to be clear, I'm not one for generic comments. If you check the ones I've made previously you'll see I critique on everything from grammar to spelling to style etc. But in your case all I can say is - I would buy this book. It's perfect as it is.
When are you uploading more?
Tammy

Really good, actually excellent. Backed. Chuck

Hello Sandie,

What a beautifully realised world you have created for us with this book. Ta for that. I read all that you posted and loved it. I wouldn't even attempt to critique it, wouldn't wish to burglarise the text as I rifle through it with my graceless paws. Instead I'm just going to back it and then back away cautiously so as not to knock anything over.

On an unrelated note, do your feet get hot when you do the ironing?

Dave

LF40 Review for: The Town That Danced.

I normally make notes as I go through, but I couldn’t do it this time. The Town That Danced requires the reader’s attention and failure to give it would result in missing out. It’s a disservice that it should be read on a computer screen, or even via Kindle, for this is an example of a piece of work which needs to be read in hand, to be courted, to be breathed in.

The writing is exemplary, the vocabulary admirable, the turns of phrase often delightful. So, it seems a strange criticism when I say that you’re giving me too much. I’ll liken it to a piece of Christmas pudding I lump in my bowl but fail to finish. At times it’s too rich. I’ve started a couple of Will Self’s books full of enthusiasm and then, after six chapters, I find myself flagging. I feel I need a bit of relief at times, for the handbrake to be lifted, just a touch, and for the story to be allowed to carry on at its own momentum. A good example is the description of Charlotte Tinkerston’s husband at the start of Chapter Two. As good as it is it feels like it’s getting in the way. I might have to question the structure as well. It isn’t exactly a whodunit because we know who the killer is and the joy comes from the complexities of the characters of Mardow-by-Sea and their relationships. Having said that, it still feels like the murder, or the discovery of the body, should open this book and the truths thereafter be revealed via this community. It does make me wonder what will follow because it seems like an unconventional set-up.

I won’t wish you luck with this, Sandie. Anyone with an ounce of sense will recognise it as an excellent piece of work from an exceptional talent.

Kind Regards

Iso Nuys

Hello Sandy--
book--The Town that Danced--

Nice pitch-intriguing- insanity in the town of marlow-on-sea-
had to read on to discover the secret, read all chapters posted.
Intriguing it certainly as the town is described so well, sets up a picture in the
minds eye. Equally the town inhabitants souls are laid out to bare in a nice easy readable fashion.
Literary prose here is magical in a sense.
Promises to be a wonderful story and will read more when posted

tom bye
from hugs to kisses'
please oblige and read some of my book, thank you.