Honey Sweetheart

Lacy, This is such a good book and I hope young people will read it. I do pray for the young because it is a tough road for them emotionally and the world surrounds them with increasing secularism and a mind boggling amount of distraction. And for someone like Honey, raised in the church, taught to be consistent in her walk with Christ and taught that there is a road that leads to life and another to destruction, it's very hard when those situations arise (as they do so very often) which have her standing at the crossroads facing the conflicting emotions within her, wanting to do what is right, but tempted to go with the flow. She loves the Lord and wants to find within herself the deep desire to serve Him. She's searching for that, and how right she is to believe that the way to that is through God's Spirit. I love her as a character for your story. You did a marvelous job of writing this. Her personality shines brightly. She's very endearing. I love the energy she brings to the story and her flow of thought. And she shows such understanding in so many ways. For instance, she immediately felt that her aunt had prayed for her at one point in the story. She considered a change for the better in the way she felt as evidence of the prayers said for her. As a Christian book for youth and young adults I consider this excellent. I am very impressed by your work. It is highly impacting. I want to thank you for the invitation to read your book and I hope you complete it and get it out there for publication.

God Bless,
julie

This could be the only second 'long chapter' I have ever read here that I LOVED. I have read a lot of them since I started. Too many to count, and this is definitely the best long chapter. Sure that sounds kind of weird but a long chapter is a pet peeve of mine. I almost tell 80% of my chapter reviews that they have to split it in two or trim it. I HATE long chapters. However, this piece, was amazing. I loved every second of it. Honey was easy to relate to, she was hilarious, a brat at times, nice at times, and completely enjoyable to hear about.

There were so many exceptional moments and lines in this that I can't even recall all of them. I did remember I loved the first paragraph. After I read it, I was like that is some good writing, but after finishing the whole chapter I don't even think the first paragraph can even compare to the rest of the story.

"Then he called me a word . . ." It was so brilliant of you to not tell us what the word was. Why? Because Honey had never heard it before or know the meaning of it so she wouldn't remember. Sure mean remarks stay with you but sometimes they don't. I'm just glad you didn't say what the name was. It also made us want to guess what the boy called her. Again, just genius.

And you are sooooo funny. I laughed my ass off when Honey kept telling her mama 'homeschool me'. The second time was the one that I laughed the hardest.

Can't believe her mama named her Honey and her other daughter Hope. LOL.

Well, to cut it short, this is one of my top 10 first chapter on this site. P.S. Better than all the ones awaiting the desk right now. shhhhh. don't tell. 6 stars and future shelf. Can't do it right now because I just changed my entire shelf and I don't like taking books off just after a couple of days.

Hi Lacy, what an intriguing story - full of all the teenage angst which even at my great age I remember so well! I have finished the first three chapters and really enjoyed what I read and became very involved with Honey. I wanted to shake her by the shoulders then hug her hurt away in equal measures - that of course may be just the mum in me! Very good luck with the book and if you woukd like to visit mine 'Sanctuary' I would be pleased to recive feedback. Best wishes Tina Cox x

Honey Sweetheart. I see with horror that I havent yet reviewed your book! From your pitches, it seems as if this is going to be a poignant story, with which we all can relate.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be aqn expert. I also notice nits - hope you dont mind.

Ch.1. From the opening paragraphs, I learn that Honey is a priviledged girl, with an unusual background, so all of us might not be able to relate to her. And life is going to be difficult for her.

Do you want nits? There are some unnecessary / vague words which can spoil the flow of a story, and can be searched out: already, (Ch3) quite, obviously, really, suddenly.
Beware of repetitions too close together: school, just (Ch2) noticed, a lot of, (Ch3) house, my friends and I.
And rather a lot of paragraphs and sentences start with the first person singular!

Ch.2. Your style runs smoothly, and you vary the length of your sentences nicely. But your paragraphs are mostly short and run monotonously down the page. Maybe some dialogue and descriptive passages could be considered, to provide variation and retain the reader's interest?
We dont know what Honey or Trevor look like, and a glimpse of their famous city would be interesting for those who havent been there.
Oh how cruel life can be for a teenager! That is indeed universal. When I was that age, my stepfather would tell me to stop being so selfish - and I thought I was the most selfless caring person in the whole wide world!

Ch.3. Maybe a description of the wide long sands of the LA beach, and the soft rolling waves - with the town beyond the banks...
Ah - an enlightening description of Curt, whom I can now see in my mind's eye.
I like the go away glare she gives her mom, who is typically over-protective and intrusive. Well portrayed.

There are rather too many question marks in places.
That's a useful description of Curt's pad, but perhaps some of those short paragraphs could be run together? And Honey's maternal instinct is well introduced when she notices the lack of a woman's touch! I can relate to that.

I'm glad I finally remembered to read this. You capture young emotions well. There is some editing to be done, but we all have to do that, and it's always worth it in the end.
Multi-starred, and the best of luck with this. I see you're climbing steadily up the ranks. You deserve it - and again very many thanks for your continued support of mine.

Jane (Breath of Africa)

Hi, Lacey. I promised to do a read swap and I have just started. I'll read further, but thought I would give you my initial impression. I think you've got a promising story here and your writing is very clean -- meaning you don't have a lot of grammar or spelling issues to address.

I'm not going to play the game and say this is a terrific story that's ready for Zondervan. I'm assuming you're here to improve the story and get some help toward making it marketable. Your book has a lot of potential, I think, but it does need some work.

Your long pitch needs help. If I'd just been looking for a book and read that pitch, I probably wouldn't have gone any further. There's a thread you can look for that helps folks analyze and improve their pitches -- "Pitch me", I think it's called -- or you could ask the Christan Critique group for help. Just so you know, almost every new member on this site needs help with their long pitch. I've rewritten mine about three times, so you're in good company. Pitching is marketing and writers are not necessarily salespeople, but if you want to sell your book someday, you need to learn how to do it.

The first chapter had a lot to like. It tried to cover WAY too much in one bite. The single day in public school could be one bite. The first day of Christian school could be another bite. Both in one bite was a bit much for me. I really liked that scene with the kid calling her a word she didn't recognize. I'd like to see you develop that into a full scene, so there's some action in your story. Same with the conversatons with Mom. There's incredible potential for story-telling that you hardly even touch. Don't be afraid to describe the public school experience from the POV of a homeschooled kid and truly develop the experience. Most kids haven't had that experience, so you're showing them a brand-new world. You'll bring the reader much more into the story if you engage their emotions with Honey's..

You also have time zone issues. You start out in the present, but then you move to the past and then you waver to the present again. Some of those could be cleaned up by breaking out some of the events into seperate chapters. I also felt like you were giving me Honey as a grown-up, already self-aware, when I was expecting a teenager struggling with life's issues. I think that may be a function of the time issues. A part of the reader experience (in YA particularly, I think) is the journey of a young character into a more mature person. When you breezed through three years in one chapter, I felt like I was denied the journey. You may do better in later chapters, but ... again, if I were to just read that first chapter on spec in a book store, I wouldn't probably read any further because the struggle I expected just isn't there. It's hinted at, but denied.

I do agree with the British posters that this is targetted to American Christian kids, girls, pretty exclusively. That's not a bad thing, but it will limit the marketability -- also not necessarily a bad thing.

Overall, it's a good start with a lot of potential. I'll come back for a later chapter. Definitely, the story needs some work, but the writing is good and that's a major plus. The events have incredible potential for development. Keep working on it!

Lauri (Lela Markham, The Willow Branch)

Lacy, Great opening line and well-written Prologue. I definitely wanted more, so it was a disappointment to find the next chapter blocked for technical reasons. The beach scene is excellent. You describe the feelings of a sixteen year old girl so well. I'm no expert in this genre, but I'd say your story will be very popular with Christian teens. Five stars from me.

Camac
Untouchable

This is a well written Christian book for teenagers. (More for American teenagers I would have thought).
Honey does seem to be quite a spoilt teenage, but I think the book does cover a lot of the emotions and temptations at that rebellious age. And you have covered them extremely well.
Great book for any Christian teenage girl.
Junetee(Four Corners)

Hi Lacy
Thanks for your message - i have to say I throughly enjoyed this.
You present a realstic and relateable view and experience of teenage life that can resonate on many levels
Your main character Honey is great and I thought your writing style really helped to etablish her situation and provide the means for the reader to empathise with her.
So overall - well done , highly starred and on my watchlist !

Steph

Hello Lacy,
I have read the first few chapters and enjoyed them. There is nothing I can add to comments about style. The book is easy to read for teenagers and to identify with. I only have one issue with it, which is Honey's priviledged background. I feel that it limits the readership to those sharing Honey's lifestyle while those who need God's guidance most, losing out. Please, take this comment as one from a European who knows next to nothing about American society.
I like the boys, Honey meets and her comments about them and look forward to more from Brett and Trevor by email.
Have a brighter day than ours in still rainy France.
Brigitte x

I read some of your book the other day and i loved it.
Well Written.
Will be back to read more.
Would recommend to a friend.
5 star rating is given.
EllenMichelle :)
'A Model's Summer'

Hi Lacy,

You address some of the most crucial issues teenagers face - the need to fit in, the need to stand out, the desire to be popular and the complexities of first love / attraction. You write well in first person, and your target readership will, no doubt, be quickly drawn into the story of Honey Sweetheart.

Thank you for inviting me to read your book. Highly rated with my very best wishes,

Annette

The expression is crisp and the thoughts clear. This is a good representation of teenage,very American,angst. Cheerleading is something not many British girls get involved in. It's sure to be successful amongst teenagers with Christian backgrounds.

This is a refreshing, realistic, and utterly likeable take on Christian fiction. Honey's initial difficulties make us feel sympathy for her - always a good way to start a story - but she is flawed too, and that becomes clearer as the story progresses. I can't wait to read to the end, to share in her religious journey and continue meeting more of your well-crafted characters.
Best wishes,
Isabel.

I promised a review Lacy, so here it is! This is a very sweet story that is certainly targeted towards American teenagers who are committed Christians. However, I'm afraid I don't see a market in the UK for this but that probably doesn't matter. Perhaps Honey's character struggles more with the darker side of life as the story progresses? At the moment it has an innocent quality which is quite refreshing! For me, Honey is a perfectly normal teenager - her 'misdemeanours' if you can call them that, are quite forgiveable given the behaviour of today's youngsters! Simply and clearly written with a gentle hand, I am sure this will find its niche! Well done, Lacy! Natalie

What a lovely descriptive first chapter. I noticed readers commented on the length of the first chapter. I feel it would spoil it if it was tightened or split into two. For me it was purely manageable and the whole piece breathed and wasn't a sollid block of text. Your description of Honey is spot on. Youl've captured the typical teenager very well. Your writing style is clean and fresh and a pleasure to read. Have placed on my WL for now but have starred highly. Will definitely read the remaing chapters and more if you decide to upload further. Rated *****
Ruth2904 - To Dream Again

Lacy, This is such a good book and I hope young people will read it. I do pray for the young because it is a tough road for them emotionally and the world surrounds them with increasing secularism and a mind boggling amount of distraction. And for someone like Honey, raised in the church, taught to be consistent in her walk with Christ and taught that there is a road that leads to life and another to destruction, it's very hard when those situations arise (as they do so very often) which have her standing at the crossroads facing the conflicting emotions within her, wanting to do what is right, but tempted to go with the flow. She loves the Lord and wants to find within herself the deep desire to serve Him. She's searching for that, and how right she is to believe that the way to that is through God's Spirit. I love her as a character for your story. You did a marvelous job of writing this. Her personality shines brightly. She's very endearing. I love the energy she brings to the story and her flow of thought. And she shows such understanding in so many ways. For instance, she immediately felt that her aunt had prayed for her at one point in the story. She considered a change for the better in the way she felt as evidence of the prayers said for her. As a Christian book for youth and young adults I consider this excellent. I am very impressed by your work. It is highly impacting. I want to thank you for the invitation to read your book and I hope you complete it and get it out there for publication.

God Bless,
julie

Hi Lacy,
I dropped in for our read swap and I very much enjoyed your story.
I was a bit surprized that she wasn't taking any grief about her name other than that one blurb about her sisters in CH1. I was also a bit perplexed by the mother. She homeschooled to protect her daughters from the outside world then put her in public high school and made christian school seem like a compromise. Mom was a cheerleader and seems put out about Honey's committment to it. She seems to be a constant source of mixed messages.
I didn't see any gramatical/spelling errors to comment on. Overall I think it is well written!
Best of Luck!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

Beautifully written story that I think many people would surge into reading to see what all will happen.
The writing style is so well done it is easy to read.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Just a little push for your book, Lacy. Best wishes always.

Hey i read some of your book just now. It's not something i would normally read but saying that its faultless. It's well written and a good main character
Terence

Lacy,

I've just read the first chapter.
It is very difficult for someone like me to understand the story. It doesn't feel real. Presumably the young girl is not looking back and realising that she was unrulyand spoilt, but it comes across as though she knew this all along - so why does she behave this way?
I understand that this is a battle with temptation, but do we as people understand this at the time? Surely we have to rationalise that what we want isn't really that bad, that other people don't understand etc. Only later do we realise that we were being selfish.
Also, some of the things you describe aren't bad as such. Having a low waistband is just fashion, not evil. Not doing what your parents ask - disobedient, but not a sin.
The young girl does sound like a very over-protected and spoilt young lady - lacking the knowledge of the outside world that would have made her more realistic about her actions and their consequences.

Anyway, this is very well written. I found no mistakes and was very intrigued about the over-protected lifestyle that she was brought up in.

Best wishes
Warrick

This book will resonate with all teens. You struck a chord in them and they will eat this up. Your writing style fits this kind of book. It's as if you are talking to them and in their jargon. Honey sweatheart will be a favorite for all teens. Good luck. Four Stars.

Having raised two daughters, this seems to have an authentic view of teenage life. Though her experience isn't typical, the scenarios are such that many teens could identify with the struggles. An easy read and complex character, with a little whining, a little meanness, a little naivete, a little rebellion, etc.

Scott W
Servant Leadership Practice...

Hey, I read all of it. I would put in more action and less description of what Happened in the earlier chapters. Don't worry I do that too. I look forward to reading more

I have read a couple of chapters and can picture Honey as my own daughter as she grew up, this is a pleasant reading book
Peter

"honey sweetheart" tells the memoirs of a spiritual young girl during the pivotal years in which she becomes an adult. and despite the benefits of consistent parental guidance, natural beauty and ability, and a preventive education to combat the many pitfalls of growing up in a strange and dangerous world, honey still faces these challenges as the naive teenager we all were.

to merely say her point of view was 'insightful' is a gross understatement of my opinion, as having the forethought of a young woman's consciousness would have been remarkably more preferable than the trial-and-multiple-error education i had instead for those merciless years dealing with myself, the world and especially the opposing gender.

all in all, i rate this book high amongst others competing in the same genre. my only criticisms are minor, and have to do with the order in which her youth is retold. while easy to follow, it might be better for the reader to see honey grow from the 14 year old girl to the young adult in the linear order in which it happened. if the author does choose to jump back and forth in her life to compare interactions with trevor to those with brett or curt, it might be better achieved between paragraphs instead of chapters as it is currently presented.

Very easy and enjoyable read. The style is fresh and the conversational tone - the way the main character speaks directly to the reader - is just perfect. This looks to be a good story in its own right, but if it has some evangelical purpose as well an abridged version could perhaps be made into a Christian tract.

I couldn't really find anything to fault, although I did notice a mistake right at the beginning: "'Why mom, did you name her that?' My sisters often asked." The "My" should be lower-case, since this is a continuation of the previous sentence. And that bit of dialogue probably warrants an additional comma, to improve the rhythm: "'Why, mom, did you name her that?" my sisters often asked."

However, that's a very tiny nitpick and of all the books I've read on this site yours is the most polished piece I have seen. I've given this six stars. Would back you as well but I'm committed to my other books, I will keep you in mind though when one of them reaches the Desk and I get a free space.


Hope you have fun reading "Tamria"!

James

Hi Lacy,
When I read your pitch i thought this story would be pretty well-written and you didn't disappoint me. It's obvious that you're an accomplished writer who has spent a lot of time learning how to craft a story. As an avid listener of Focus on the Family I hear a lot of teaching on the problems and pressure society places on Christian teens and Honey Sweetheart is a pretty good example of it. I read two chapters and plan to read some more. The narrative is good, an even place and the voice is authentic. I want to see where this goes so I'm bookshelving it. Four stars though so far.

Larry M.

I forgot to mention thatI'll place it on my shelf when I have room.

Jennifer

Hello

I believe you have a great story here. It's nice to read a story when the main character is honest about themselves. I didn't see much wrong as far as the writing. It just needs minor editing. Other than that the passe and flow were fine. The characterization is good. The theme is wonderful. I enjoyed reading it.

Thanks for sharing
Jennifer - The Legend of the Traveler: Willows Journey

Lacy,
Honey Sweetheart is a great story about a teenage girl, trying to find her way in the world with all its temptations. Honey's inner goodness shines through, even though she is lured by 'worldly' distractions. Her interactions with schoolmates and her mother felt authentic, in fact reminding me of my own teenage daughter!
Your writing is of a high quality and I love the premise - a girl who genuinely wants to be good.
All the best,
Melissa

LOVED it! Wonderful work! :)

Lacey,
"Honey Sweetheart" is a book one reads, thinks about, and reads again, relating incidents in one's own Christian experience to those of your MC. Surrounded by secular influences that go as far as banning the display of the ten commandments in school, a young Christian growing up these days faces more challenges than say, his parents did at his age. Are Christians at a disadvantage? Not necessarily if they are as well grounded and determined as Honey Sweetheart is in your book. Your easy narrativer is a delight to follow, the dialogue in sync with the characters. Thank you so much for the inspiring read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

As hard as i try, I can't seem to get beyond the never ending use of I. I thought I would give it a try to look beyond my customary "Anti Prologue attitude". Alas I found nothing that I could cling to and to be quite frank i i i i i i i i can read no more

Wow! This is must have, must read, reader-friendly, easily-liked book. Every line, sentence, paragraph and chapter compacted with melody. I like the contrast you pitched with the book title and its content. you should be sweet but most times you not. I can also relate to aspect that talked about trying not to be popular but ended up that way.
recommended....

Hi, sorry it took so long, but I finally got around to reading enough to comment. It's still not my genre, but it is well-done, lively, vivid sentences that do sound like the thoughts of genuinely nice teenage girl--particularly in chap. 1 where she's listing all he ways in which she isn't nice according to her sisters. The plot doesn't grab me, teen romance/angst isn't a favorite genre, but this is definitely a superior example of these non-favorites.
Ann ("Polly")

Hi Lacy,

I like that you start off your pitch by inviting the reader to "Imagine"; it is exactly what I find myself wanting to do, and because of this I am instantly drawn to put myself in the shoes of the "young girl". I don't know if this was your intention but its very nicely done. I also liked your end summary; "It's a beautiful story of life and love the way a simple teenage girl tells it, and not only do we applaud God as He helps her through each struggle, we rejoice with her on her way towards her own personal victory." It feels quite perfect to me.

I haven't read any of the book, because I only review people's titles and pitch - its just my way of being a bit different - but I imagine that this is a tender tale told in the young, innocent, and perhaps at times defiant protagonist's voice, describing her inner struggles with temptation and sin, leading towards some sort of enlightenment through her discovery of God. It sounds quite beautiful. In fact I think I will pop your book on my wall and have a nosy through when I have a bit of time!

I hope my comments are of some use to you. good luck with your work!

Zara M.
The Breakup Project

xx

this is a great book for young people, it is teaching strong values without being preachy.
It is also a great wittness to Christ.
God bless!
Christine

Hi Lacy! Thank you for the friend request.
Nice way you paint with words...on my watchlist for now!

many blessings,
jim

Hi Lacy! Thank you for the friend request.
Nice way you paint with words...on my watchlist for now!

many blessings,
jim

I have just started reading Honey Sweetheart. It looks promising. Wish I had had such a teaching aid when I briefly taught Religious Education. Nothing as interesting as Honey.
The dialogue works well as far as I got. I shall come back for more soon. You will be on my bookshelf from now on.

Authors who are kind enough to read my book, deserve and always get a return visit from me. I am a 72 male so of course this book is far from the authors target audience. But still an interesting read for me, reading 1.2.3. 7.8. chapters. For the targeted people this book should do very well, easy reading and well written.

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

In many respects, Honey is a typical American teenager encountering all the normal challenges. And I'm sure the targeted audience will enjoy her authentic voice.
All the best with this Lacy.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Hi Lacy

Hope all is well with you and yours.

Honey Sweetheart is now on my bookshelf, because it's so damn good.

Regards

RB Ray

Lacy,
I've read several chapters now and I just love the way you write. It's extremely on point and relevant and I believe this would be a great book for young Christian girls to read. There are a few minor spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing that couldn't be smoothed out in the first edit.
Honestly, I can see this title sitting in the Christian section at Barnes and Noble. The title is perfect and girls want to read this kind of story. 6 stars from me.
Many blessings to you and I wish all the best for you and Honey Sweetheart. (:

Cheers,
Bre
Memoria

Easy to read, fast flowing and holds the attention - even mine and I am definitely not a teenager! You obviously have a very good knowledge and insight into the teenage mind Lacy! I have read several chapters of your book and it is excellent.

The small, but very significant, touches about the working of the teenage mind are lovely. "I hear it's normal for a teenage girl to feel down."(chapter 1) and "My mom used the word disappointed. I hated that word. I was not a disappointment." (chapter 5). Then the conflict and emotions that arise with the complications in relationships with Trevor and Brett. All teenagers will identify with these thoughts and emotions.

One very small point in chapter 1 - "Why mom, did you name her that?" My sisters often asked her.' I thought it would read better without the 'her' as we know it's mom. 'My sisters often asked'. I know that is a very small point but I always try and find something helpful and constructive even when the book is this good!

I love the way you weave in Honey's relationship with God. In chapter 5 the point about coming down the mountain from camp and finding the enthusiasm for God didn't last long! So like many of us - even if we are not teenagers! 'I vowed every year to get closer to God' - we can all empathise with that!

I wish I had been able to read this when I was a teenager!

Margaret Weston - How do I know I know God?

Lacy,

This is an incredibly well written MS, very easy to read and it holds a great pace. Honey’s character is built beautifully; her thought process is extremely natural and very endearing – creating a strong affiliation with her from a reader’s standpoint. I read through chapter 3, and love the way you’re dropping in the temptations and then working Honey through each one... Fantastic work, and very thought provoking!

Crit wise; it might be worth considering the separation of Honey’s ‘thoughts’ from her 'speech' via italics. I’m not sure what the official stance on this is, but it did make me read back a few lines in places to see if she’d spoken out loud - just something to ponder.

I’ve max’d out your stars and popped you on my WL :)

Best wishes for the ED,
J.

Being an adult, male atheist, I am not your target audience.
Having said that, I can see that your story is well-written and well-conceived, and that it will be lovingly read by the right audience.

I'd like to offer a few pointers on your pitch. Take them or leave them!:


“Honey is your typical teenage Christian girl who struggles daily to make right decisions. Unfortunately for Honey choosing God over sin is ridiculously hard.”
Good introduction to your story. Only one niggle: I would include a comma after ‘Unfortunately for Honey’ to separate the introductory element of the sentence.

“Imagine a young girl who is told over again how to live moral and upright but fails constantly.”
‘Moral and upright’ should be ‘morally and uprightly’.

“God's power to overcome temptation comes from His Spirit, yet Honey doesn’t know God's Spirit.”
Surely God doesn’t have or require ‘power to overcome temptation’, as this sentence implies. Perhaps what you mean to say is ‘THE power to overcome temptation comes from God’s Spirit, but Honey doesn’t know His Spirit.’

I hope you find this helpful

David Southam
Author of The Keeper of the Sightless Eye

Hi Lacy

I've just put Honey Sweetheart on my WL after reading the first chapter.

I'm not bothered about which view point you're coming from or the length of the chapters. I'm not even bothered about the your punctuation. After all that's the job of the editor, not me.

All I'm bothered about is would I buy and read this book? Simple question, simple answer...Oh yeah.

Keep up the good work.

Regards

RB Ray

Hi Lacy

I've just put Honey Sweetheart on my WL after reading the first chapter.

I'm not bothered about which view point you're coming from or the length of the chapters. I'm not even bothered about the your punctuation. After all that's the job of the editor, not me.

All I'm bothered about is would I buy and read this book? Simple question, simple answer...Oh yeah.

Keep up the good work.

Regards

RB Ray

Hi Lacy,
I've read four chapters of your book and really enjoyed it. I t certainly takes us back to relive those teenage feelings and discoveries. Your book has a good storyline, a nice flow to it and is very easy to read. I'll have to make room on my bookshelf, but I haven't got room right now.

Lacy, This is easy reading. With first person, you really get into Honey's mind and feelings. I remembered my teenage years as an introvert. I feel for teenagers. They need youth groups and support. Many are like Honey. It depends on how close the individual is to God.

I only had time for chapter 1, but glanced through the rest. Not wanting to be nit-picky, I did find a few items in chapter 1 you might check. After elementary school you either need a period or "but" after the comma. Your run-on sentence could be made into two with a period after "middle school". Although I .....
You might also say "Other than a few girl friends, I made sure no one knew me.

Thought that was a good sign? Change the ? to a period.
Dad is always in his den would sound better as a new sentence..
You are usually in HER room or YOUR room? Not sure.
You were a cheerleader too .... delete the quoates

I think teenage christians need to read this. They can relate to Honey's feelings.

I will rate Honey Sweetheart high and keep you on my watch list until I can move you to my shelf. It will be soon.\\

When you can, a look at A Scorched Family is greatly appreciated.
Norma Davis