Mr Nice Guy

This is a great read. Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

A funny, touching book. Will make a great film. Backed. Lynn

Hello,

I was laughing before I even started reading the book. It was the pitch that got me. I had a male friend who loved to quote that "women don't want nice guys" line and I would say, "maybe you're not that nice." I've always been annoyed by the idea that women don't like nice guys and I was curious how you handled this idea. The writing is terrific, well crafted characters, believable dialog, humorous. Great job. This seems ready for the bookstore and then maybe a screenplay?

Still laughing and backed.

El
Reckless Scarlett

Hello,
I've added it to my watchlist, for now. Will read more later.
Best regards
Lubna

Thomas – I liked this one better than Natural Order. It has the air of being written from experience and so rings truer. I read up to Chapter 6, and to that point at least the story marches along quite entertainingly.

The main flaw, for me, is in a certain lack of immediacy in some parts: it felt occasionally as though the authorial voice was getting between me and Dan. You could fix this very easily, I think, by taking out all the “Dan thought”, “Dan knew”, and “Dan hoped” etc and just reporting his feelings directly, as if from his own voice. At least in certain parts, where you want to be closer to the character. You do this sometimes: for instance, in the first two paragraphs of Grace Under Pressure it’s Dan-this and Dan-that but in the third you go more directly into his head, and that works better.

It also works really well when you go to dialogue. For instance, the sequence where Dan and Claudia discuss what movie to go to really captures the dynamic between them brilliantly and in a way that any man can relate to.

The author’s voice also interjects too much philosophising and editorialising, and this detracts. I’m thinking particularly of the paragraphs in Aftermath discussing Dan’s and Giles’s attitude to working. If you changed this so that it was more obviously Dan’s opinion rather than that of the author I think it would be strengthened; because while it is understandable for Dan to have this attitude (so common among people of that age), it comes across as much weaker if this is also the attitude of the (presumably more mature and detached) author. It would be more powerful, I think, if the author were more neutral, objective, impartial.

Good luck with the movie.

Hi Thomas
I just got done reading and I love it!
Very nice...bravo!
JC

Hi Thomas
I really like this concept and am not surprised someone wants to make the film of it – it's great stuff.

There were a few places were I perhaps felt the narrative voice was a little heavy (almost as if I could hear the film's voice over). Some adverbs could be trimmed out perhaps and some clichés. Where you use something fresh it's usually brilliant - just one example 'forecourt flowers' is perfectly understated, but 'lofty ambitions' is clichéd.

I'd like to have seen a demonstration of Dan's quick wit eg when he's playing PS2 with Giles maybe, rather than have been told about it in chapter one.

Have only read two chapters so far, will try to return for more if you think this kind of comment is useful – I'm good at nit picking details, not so good on analysing concepts – I just know I like this one.
K