For as God is my Witness. My life was this.
Lilith’s role still confuses me but she is always there and always has been.
It was 6 am. Again. I had had enough! Something had to change. Today just had to be different from yesterday and all those yesterdays gone before, passing without variation. Every day was an identical routine and always ended in blood and Sellotape. Sleep only occurred every three days or so. Food was binged but infrequently. And blood was daubed everywhere you looked. Enough surely? Enough.
I took a kitchen knife from the drawer, sheathed it in newspaper and tucked it down inside my shirt. I closed the front door behind me. As usual, she was asleep upstairs.
I walked to Meanwood and stood outside of the gate. The path led up to the Yardie crack dealer’s door. He was open all-hours and would let me in. With a smile, this scary man would let me in, and in doing so, unwittingly let me out. Oh to be out. I pondered future days. Armley jail? Intensive care? Under the soil? There was no knowing the detail. But things were about to change and that was all that really mattered. No more of this. She called my name from behind me.