A Noble Profession

Please get published soon, I want to share this with people outside of authonomy!

Brilliant, unique, topical... and funny. Looking forward to reading more. I like the chatty style.

Quite liked this, interesting idea. Thanks.

Just started reading this and I'm hooked! Goes down like butter. Funny as hell! As a reader I feel like you're talking to me face to face.

GREAT PITCH.......entertaining!

Backed!

Well researched!

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

Hi Greg, just looked in to see if you have uploaded any more of this tasty black comedy. Sadly, I could find no more. How about just a couple more chapters? And did you see that news item recently about helium being in short supply worldwide? Could this scupper our hero's chances of expanding his business? - Frances K

Hi Greg. Totally cool! Way to hook your reader right from the start. Chapter 1 knocked my socks off. I will definitely read some more.
Check out my SF/thriller "Space Games" when you get a chance. Thanks.

Dean Lombardo

great pitch! outstanding stuff!
j
what every woman should know

Greg, you had me hooked at "Comfortable?" I ask. Genius!

Brilliant!

Dear Greg

This is my second review of "A Noble Profession" the first being five months ago. I have read a little further this time, and discovered a lively mind beneath the seemingly cynical exterior and the black humour. It seems to me that this is not so much a story of death, as the story of one man's struggle to cope with his unhappiness. We can all identify with the MC's dilemma - who among us has not felt powerless to "help" anyone with cancer?

Because of personal issues, my reading is curtailed. Too close to the bone, I regret. But, in any case, my original high rating is fully vindicated. Well done, Greg.

Wow what a unique story. A great story full of moral dilemmas and dark humor It immediately reminds of me Dr. Kevorkian or 'Dr. Death' a man i later voted for in my home state of MI. Probably one of the best things I've read on this website. Highly starred and backed.

Really good stuff, Greg. Six stars and on my shelf.

The prose is terrifically smooth - clean and spare but full of wonderfully original phrasing and subtly restrained lyricism. There's an immediate, almost filmic quality to the storytelling which I found particularly involving. The dialogue feels real and purposeful and helps both to add vibrancy to the scenes as well as fleshing out the various characters. The novel (both in terms of the conversational exchanges and Eli's dark, rather detached ruminations on life/death/the mundanities of his existence etc) is also very funny in places with a good blend of jaded, rather cynical satire and lighter, almost slapstick absurdism. The plot sounds original and well thought out and, with its mix of comedy, pathos and social commentary, should appeal to a broad cross section of readers.

If I were to make a suggestion, it would be to perhaps introduce a little more dialogue into the opening chapters. I'm particularly thinking about chapter 1. While it's very involving and cleverly sets the tone (both comically and philosophically) for the rest of the book, I think, if you added a little more dialogue (eg a deliberately bland exchange between Eli and his client - weather, family, football etc - before the bag goes on) it would energise the overall feel of the chapter, as well as heightening the surprise/shock//comedy of the subsequent mercy killing scene. Just a thought.

In short, a stylish, funny, very accomplished piece of writing. Thanks and best of luck. P

Well I am enjoying this as much as Notes on an Orange Burial. The writing is a joy and it is lovely to read someone who enjoys using the language as much as Greg does! Call me sick but I laughed out loud at the “giving the valve another quarter turn” and also love the love the Fox News dig.
The MS is clean of errors; at least that I can see. I can’t wait to see where it goes and will buy this one too when it is published!
I have already given it 6 stars and will back it as soon as a place comes up.

Cheers
Andrew
A Fatal Misuse of Time

A very nice reading which could be termed as highly remarkable and deserves 6 stars. Will put it on my book shelf soon.

Backed A Noble Profession. I am not an author or writer. I can’t give advice on grammar, punctuation or other writing practices. But know a good story when I read one. Your book was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
Rog50

Comments for a Noble Profession

This has been on my watch list for some time, and having finally found a spare couple of hours to catch-up on reads, I’m glad I remembered to look at this one.

I read the first chapters. The start is arresting. Clinical. The idea is excellent and potentially lends itself to some very dark comic moments. Part of me wanted to have more emotion at the start, but I guess that goes against what you are doing here, so perhaps a little more sensation then? Maybe a greater sense of the person he is ‘helping’ on his way? Family photographs on the sideboard, bills on the mantelpiece – that kind of stuff.

I really like how you present the different methods of suicide. I hope you continue to play with these forms throughout. It feels fresh.

I’m glad that you delved into the MC’s background in the next chapter. It tells me that you know what you’re doing. Other than a few too many personal pronoun starts in the opening chapter (and they can be hard to avoid in the first person), I don’t have any nits.

If you decide to make a determined run for the desk I’d back you.

Kind Regards

Iso

I see you've risen to #30 and I get why: this black humor take on euthanasia is a marvelous read. And I LEARNED so much! I thought those methods would work. Seriously, I had an exit all planned in case my present perfect life goes bad. I don't know how the whole book will go, whether the wit will grow tiresome before it's over or how the plot will come together. But I'm putting this on my watch list and I'll be back for more.

Ch’s 4 and 5.
I really enjoyed Eli researching helium and being swayed by Wikipedia. The surreal phone conversation with Rush was handled really well.
The line at the start of the park scene jarred a bit. I think it should be ‘My intentions were twofold’. Eli checking to see if they could be overheard shows a bit of a natural criminal mind at work.
I thought maybe Sgt Rush could give a technical lecture on what constitutes a suspicious death in the police handbook, and tell Eli to avoid those pitfalls – though I suppose the whole method is meant to allay suspicion. We get a sense that Rush is aware of how the police can collect evidence in the phone conversation about muscle relaxers.
The horse-trading for the date of the deed was great.
I loved the shopping list and the idea of straying from best practice.
I wondered would Eli be more conscious of the trail he is leaving, as the Law & Order shows have taught us – internet searches, security cameras, supply-store receipts.
Should it be artistic instead of artful?
Eli considering the hazards of a botched attempt was very good as it showed he could be selfish and fairly sinister. The idea that he’s given dutch courage by the pills and booze seems to be an important one. Maybe we should see that more throughout the planning stage.
This is a really enjoyable read. Looking forward to the rest.
Andrew.
The Morning Drop.

I didn't think I w2ould find this all that interesting but the book caught me off guard. It's genuinely entertaining. I have rated it well Thanks for the read!
Red

Clever, funny, fast! Reading it makes me feel physically sick - and yet I read on! Simple style, intelligent prose. Bloody good.

Hi,

I picked this book out on the basis of its pitches, which both amused and intrigued me, and I've really enjoyed the opening chapter. I have a few comments (generally picky little things that stood out for being isolated in such otherwise good writing), so I hope you might find these remarks helpful rather than annoying:

- 'controlled-release nozzle' - my eye stumbled over 'controlled-release' which seemed to me to break the flow of the sentence. I know the character is describing something rather technical, but how about just 'nozzle'?
- 'couple pieces of duct tape' - I notice you've got 'couple' directly followed by the noun a few times in here - to my (British English) ear, there's an 'of' missing on this one, even if it runs better the next couple (of) times. Is this just a geographical linguistic variation?
- my eye also stumbled at the end of the paragraph: 'to make sure that where the tube enters the bag is airtight.' I would insert a comma, so it reads, 'where the tube enters the bag, it's airtight.'
- a few lines further down, there's the word 'atop' which jumps out at me as odd - can't precisely visualise this, but perhaps just 'on' or 'on top of'

All these things are extremely picky, I know, but I think the first few paragraphs are really important, and I just love the premise of the whole thing, so I'd love it to be totally perfect (according to me!)

The next bit is just great, especially being driven by Rimbaud to turn up the gas! I was slightly thrown by the 'radar screen', because the rest of the description has been so technical and objective. Presumably, he doesn't actually have one with him. Personally, I'd go for 'Not the slightest flutter, as far as I can tell.'

The next few paragraphs were totally absorbing - I had assumed this was a kind of 'go to Switzerland' euthanasia rather than a 'make it look like it actually was suicide' job, so I really liked the way you turned this around. I did wonder if 'eying' is a typo - I have a feeling it's 'eyeing' but I couldn't swear to it.

The nitty-picky things that occurred to me in the second half of the chapter were as follows:
- 'very unintentionally' - I don't doubt that this is a deliberate phrasing on your part, but I'd still go for 'completely unintentionally'
- I also don't like 'as we shall soon see' - it interrupts the flow and draws attention to the authorial voice. I think it becomes clear enough quickly enough that you could strike these few words.
- 'casting aspersions at them' - you cast aspersions ON someone's abilities rather than AT the person themselves. I would amend this sentence to say: 'casting aspersions on their compentence will likely only make them feel worse.'
- I'd say it's 'invitation TO' rather than 'invitation FOR' under the paragraph about jumping from buildings
- either go for 'nine times out of ten' or '9 times out of 10' in the jumping under trains paragraph. You know what, I've always thought exactly what you say about train suicides inconveniencing half of London / the UK. The other thing I've thought about that is that it must traumatise the train driver.
- and one that's not a nit-pick, but made me laugh out loud and say "This is brilliant!" - carbon monoxide poisioning being the least green method, resulting in you having to endure the scorn of recycling, Prius driving friends! Fabulous!

Overall, I really, really like this, and I intend to read more in due course (and shelve it too when I get on to my PC over the weekend), so I hope you're not irritated by my pernickety comments.

Julia
Time Was Away
(Feel free to pick nits to your heart's content in my work, if you have the time and inclination to read it - I'd be delighted!)

Life is just like you write it, in this work and in Notes on an Orange Burial. How many times do we find ourselves smack in the middle of the most absurd, grotesque, nut-house event and think, "I can't write this. I can't even tell anybody." Still, you let the secret out of the bag, and it reaches right up from the page. Smack! So much to savor.

Memphis Girl (Lisa)

Greg, I fell into this book and did not stop until I finished chapter 7. Will there be chapter 8 soon?
Extraordinary controversial subject and good writing, what more would one to wish for? In fact, I was so engrossed with the matter that I forgot to laugh. I'm for euthanasia because I believe that everybody should have the right to die with dignity, but I never really approached the subject of the actual exit. Fascinating. On my shelf now.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

I have to agree with all those who say 'Noble' is OUTSTANDING.

G.L is a remarkable writing talent.

‘A Noble Profession’
The cover is simple but effective. It draws attention. The short and long pitches give just enough away to entice with the promise of subtle black humour.
Chapter one opens with a chillingly matter of fact assisted suicide, with careful attention to details and which cleverly ignores the elephant in the room, the emotion of the situation. It reads, in parts, like a self-help manual, and in others like dark diary of death. The list of ‘methods’ is horrifically gripping with just the right info content balanced with humour.
‘Can be tricky business’/’Can be a tricky business’?

Chapter two has a wonderful counterpoint – delivering death versus facilitating life-enhancing parties. I like the almost chatty, tell you a story, style. It adds realism, as if a personal confession is presented to each reader. The dialogue is convincing and entertaining.
The writer has a wicked sense of humour which will appeal to many. The book is well-written with a simple, direct style.

Chapter three is equally amusing and dark. Nice move when the helium link comes. I loved the three incidents of being shocked, upstaged buy Sgt Rush. The angel/demon dialogue also worked.
‘Never been as impressed by my father as I was during…’ should it be ‘so impressed…’? Not sure.

Overall a successful and entertaining novel which features gallows humour which may be controversial. Controversy sells books. I wasn’t sure I’d like this but sometimes it is cathartic to laugh at the most horrific aspects of life (and death). A generous scattering of stars.

Nick
‘Where She Lies’

Just finished chapter 7. Totally outstanding!

I've only read a handful, but this is by far the funniest book on here. It appeals very much to my sense of humour, and I can imagine the prudish and closed minds out there being shocked and appalled by it. Fantastic. When I get time, I'll read more. This is my kind of book, and there aren't many (if any) out there like it!

Outstanding! Hilarious! Creepy! This is bound to generate picket lines or fatwas!

I've only just read the first chapter so far, and am delighted. Well done!

I'm new to authonomy, and am overwhelmed at how much there is to read. Also finding my way in terms of feedback. Some manuscripts are in need of serious attention and I don't want to hurt feelings. Fortunately this is not one of those. The only feedback I can come up with seems petty, but I'll toss it in for what it's worth: you have at least a couple spots with singular v. plural disagreement. Not enough of a problem to lose sleep over unless you've got OCD or you're a bitter English professor who has never published and is stocking up on helium and plastic bags and... (oh gawd, what if he IS?) oh wait, I'm drifting. so, those sentences I'm referring to: "Trying to take their own life," I might change to "lives". "Friends who...drive a Prius" might change to Priuses, although that doesn't flow off the tongue very well. And it's hard to say over and over again fast. Priuses priuses. Nearly impossible.
Wonderful book!
Tod Schneider
Lost Wink

Interesting and different. Backed

Hello Greg,
Just read the first three chapters in one sitting.
Overall impression - this is excellent writing, entertaining and perfectly weighted prose. Its slip-streamed whilst still informative (noble gases) and peppered with juicy descriptions ('plain vanilla questions' ).
The start is dramatic but the slight emphasis on the rubber gloves worked well to pique the reader's interest even more.
The BS is delivered concisely. The end of chapter 2 sees the dialogue-driven narrative motor forward at just the right time. I was beginning to feel the MC was a little flat and unappealing - not unsympathetic just not interesting enough to motivate further reading. This is very subjective, maybe even slightly cultural, as this is a firmly American story. But as I say the narrative motors forward with the intro of Sgt Rush - a very likeable character.
I don't know if I can add anything constructive. The MC is ordinary at the beginning - pre present career - and that is necessary to convey and integral to the MCs development. However the tone tends to the smartass with the decription of the various potential methods and combined with the ordinariness of the MC I think this is where the narrative is weakest. A relative weakness as on the whole this is excellent writing.
All the Best!
John
Dropping Babies.

You have a distinctive style all right, especially the black humour, which gets my thumbs up. The opening line is not for the faint-hearted, and that’s just as well. He thinks he’s delivering euthanasia and won’t ever be detected? Oh really? That’s a hook-and-a-half, in terms of plot. I am eager to see what happens to oh-so-confident Mr. Narrator.

Then, as soon as he catalogues so many styles of suicide, with a bit less humour, I started to squirm a bit. Now I am unsure whether I should be ready for full-on black humour (like the films Eat the Rich, Delicatessen, Eating Raoul, which are all golden and nicely demented), or whether I should brace myself for a serious look at this theme, albeit with some secondary comic relief.

Usually I adore black humour, so normally I wouldn’t go a bit queasy, which I did by the end of that list. Perhaps that’s just me, but these were my questions at the end of the first chapter. I was totally ready to plunge in, and then not. Hmmm. I want this to work, and it went askew a bit for me.

So I do not know if that’s helpful, but I hope so, because I like your style, and wish you luck.
best wishes from
Eileen Kardos
The Noodle Trail

Interesting premise. I am intrigued and strangely drawn to sordid tales like this one. I love the dry humour in the face of unsettling decisions to be made. Good "execution" of thought. I haven't finished the story but I intend to return to read more. Bravo and encore!

Amber

I read the first several chapters and I really liked them. Your use of detail and dark humor made for a very good read. I'll be watching this one.

Good Luck,
Roy Earle.
"Bad Men and Bad Odds"

Hi Greg,
I’ve read the first few chapters. It’s just the type of book I would buy and recommend.

A few comments you can take or leave:

It’s a fantastic opening, a great blend of detail and bleak humour. Perhaps a momentary flash of distress from the client just before the flat-line might make it a bit more murky.

I thought the shift in voice to describe the suicide methods was a bit abrupt. But I enjoyed reading them; they seemed more like DF Wallace-like endnotes.

The mixture of the gallows humour and a family confronted with the death of a loved one is very effective.

I think some of Eli’s ironic reactions to Sgt Rush’s request would work better as internal dialogue. Perhaps he could think one thing and say another.

I’m looking forward to reading more,
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

Greg. Three chapters and the helium is still untouched on the top shelf. There's not many people who can make me laugh with witty, humorous composition. That is because I am blessed or saddled, depending on the situation, with the same equipment. So Bill Bryson and yourself should be proud of your achievements.
Very well-written, very different and very controversial - I love it!
I thought, when sticking my hooter into this, that the subject would depress me. Not many people can write about death with such humour (that's how we spell humour in England - and before you make a clever comment, we invented the bloody language) but you have achieved this.
Speaking about top shelves I've lobbed you up onto mine with a skein of stars.
My first book (autobiography) Broad Soldiers and available on Amazon has ladels of humour. Sadly, Reasonable Force has little. But then it's a crime thriller. Love to hear what you think. If you like what you read shelve me, star me rotten and send me food parcels for the foreseeable future.
Best of luck. Cheers, Sully.

... what? What is the 'in'? I'm hooked now, i need to know how he markets euthenasia ...

I really enjoyed every bit so far, but especially the opening to Chapters 3 and 7, all the encounters with Sgt Rush - don't agree at all that it's wise-assed, it's witty and very, very well written character dialogue (same subject has been argue drily without passion, swearing or wit, particulary on BBC radio, for too long) - remined me of the film In Bruges. Comedy is very subjective though. I really liked 'our individual states dramatically opposed. Our relationship oddly symbiotic." But also Sylvia Path's helium bag. A heady balance of jokes, serious points and erudition.

One of my favourite lines was the Fox News girlfriend - I can't believe someone hadn't heard of Fox News (I'm UK too)... maybe that's a good thing. Maybe the UK translation will have her reading the Daily Mail...

I am very intrigued to know what the learning curve in this will turn out to be and the conclusion. There are so many ways this could go to explore the subject and push the ideas further. I look forward to it being debated heatedly ... not on Fox News tho

There are a couple of typos, but that's for editors, surely.

Enjoyed the first two chapters. I'll keep reading. It's funny. The interaction with the reader is a nice touch.

Awesome. The end of the first chapter is very enticing; such a serious subject discussed in a humorous way. I've given this top ratings. My bookshelf is full but I'll keep this on my watch list and eventually switch it to my shelf.

Already on my shelf, these comments about your book should come as no surprise, but I have to say...
This is so freaking funny and smooth. I love the sarcasm and your one-liners. I am giving this 6 stars now as well--have fun getting to the ED. Cheers, Caitlin Avery

First the book is really well written. You're a good writer and you probably know that already.
A few thoughts - I guess your book would be targetting a. physicians or heath care workers, b. suicidals or those with suicidal ideation (hey this book has lots of ideas) c. family of those with terminal conditions.
I belong to one of these categories. Never mind which. So if you will be talking about and I think you will its better to explain why or what's so debilitating about the disease. Seriously SDAT... putting the sponge instead of the toast..? Let's agree SDAT is diagnosed by 65, if this guy was a bit early, maybe in conversation you can tell us why. Dementia has got incapacitating symptoms and signs, include those. Escpecially the ones that can drive a person crazy.... crazy enough to want to die
Emphysema will make you want to die... but you've given me no reason to believe that this guy had any.... except for his chronic cough... so include more... let the sergeant tell me of his dependence on home oxygen, inability to walk a distance without feeling ling his lungs are being squeezed... the list could go on.... Right now this guy seems and looks healthy from what I'm reading.... so I suggest making him sick enough to want to die. The only paragraph where I feel well maybe he's really suffering.... is the description on anger....
This may seem trivial, but for the audience that will buy your book and I being part of the audience need to be sold out on the authenticity of these minor details, that maybe overlooked by the gen pop.
Over all great writing...

The short and long pitches are good and well-wrtten.
The first couple of chapters read very well - professional narrative prose and realistic dialogue too.
You are onto a delicate subject and one close to many people's hearts - euthanasia, guided or not - suicide - make your book risky in some senses. people are in two camps on this issue and those not in the pro-suicide camp might not like the book at all. It limits you market therefore.
Personally, I'm more in the middle myself. I enjoyed the writing which is faultless and fluid.
The story - well maybe I think it's a little risky, but it will please a lot of people.
Backed - for a good polemic!

O.K. The writing is very, very good and your control over it is marvelous. The premise is serious and yet wittily handled. Six stars and I shall back it Feb. 1. I sincerely hope you go on to write about other things!

Brilliant - such a neat, simple idea. And your writing is very, very good and confident - if anyone can do this, I think you can. I just saw the comments - I know many people who have committed suicide and it didn't jar with me or upset me at all. It's pure comedy and satire surely, like A Modest Proposal. I look forward to reading the rest of it.

Simply brilliant. High stars and on my WL awaiting promotion. The very best of luck with this work of pure genius. Yours Bea

I have to read more of this. I laughed out loud at your A to Z of methods, then teetered on your tightrope, balanced between a spectator's prurient curiosity and the geeky deprecations of your narrator. It reads like horrible truth, yet I know it's fiction. I've a track record in suicide drama [for teenagers] so I know how hard it is to make the subject funny yet not too attractive. I really, really would like to know what happens.

Read the first chapter. This might be funny if I didn't know 15 people who had committed suicide in various innovative ways. But I'll give you a high star on the writing. Sorry, just couldn't continue reading because of the memories. ~Kady Colter, Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac

This is the first book I've read on here that actually made me lol - definitely deserves to find a publisher (if it hasn't already). I'm giving it 6 stars and backing it.