Chapter 1
Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
-Dorothy Parker
Looking in the mirror that morning, I thought I was pretty gorgeous, I’m not going to lie. Strawberry blonde hair hung past my shoulders. The tips curled under in perfection, dripping down narrow shoulders and a lithe, but strong body. If I could have marketed sexiness in a can, I would have been a billionaire. Not that I needed money or anything. My daddy did okay. I had a pink Benz in the garage to prove it.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest of them all?
Why, Rebecca Austin, of course.
And believe me, this isn’t a fairy tale. It’s my life. I may have looked great on the outside, but I was a flesh-eating, rotten corpse on the inside. By evening, though, that was all going to change.
I can still hear the flies buzzing as I ran into the first victim of the day at school.
“Move it, fattie!”
I refused to yield to a medium-sized plumper as her books flew in every direction. Her eyes welled up in horror as her mouth dropped open to reveal braces.
“Ugly Betty?”
Her cheeks turned bright red as my friend Evie giggled and covered her mouth with perfectly manicured nails before reaching up to twist shoulder length brown hair around her index finger. The girl dropped to her knees, and we walked past her, ignoring her frantic grabs for her stuff.
“Do you have to be so mean?” Evie asked with an evil glint in her eyes. We grinned at each other.
“Yes!” we said laughing together.
* * *
“Hey, Bear.” I recognized that voice instantly. Twirling around at my locker, I hugged Brett, my boyfriend. He was just as gorgeous as I was and an all-American quarterback to boot. Bear was his special nickname for me, because I was so cranky in the morning. He kissed me on the cheek, easily holding my weight, before putting me back down. "Ready for lunch?"
Lunch never came fast enough in the day. I walked into the cafeteria like a movie star: hair blowing, my dainty hands wrapped around Brett’s forearms, and paparazzi cameras flashing as we passed them.
OK, so there were no cameras, but there might as well have been. In reality, they were just students with eyes flashing jealousy, wishing they had our lives. They knew they could never be us, though. They would live ordinary, pathetic lives.
Yes, the gods had blessed us.
I watched as Brett slammed a tray into a skinny guy’s sci-fi shirt with his free hand. The little guy fell backwards onto the floor, staring up in horror as we walked by. I giggled and looked adoringly at my hero.
At our table, I was the queen bee. I orchestrated our minions with ease and skill. They had already brought us food from the outside. Today was gourmet sandwiches made to our specific tastes.
I checked mine and immediately saw she screwed up my order. I frowned. The others hadn’t even started eating. No one but Brett, anyway. He dug into the sandwich with relish. The rest watched me to make sure I liked what I had received.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I demanded at the puppet of the day. I think her name was Emma.
“Uh, what?” she asked. Her eyes darted away as she shook. She knew what was coming. Rabbit fear was in her eyes. I felt a hungry grin stretch across my face as my eyes narrowed.
“You heard me. How hard is it to read a text? Can you even read?” I snapped, feeling my blood start to boil. “You messed up my order. I specifically asked for the vegetarian delight without any cheese. And what’s on here? Cheese! Buckets of it! What kind of idiot can’t get this order right? You’re worthless. Go ahead and eat this crap, because you screwed up. Go ahead, eat it.” I sneered at her.
“I…I…” She couldn’t even talk. Her eyes were wide and glassy.
“I can’t believe I've put up with your sheer stupidity for so long. Go away,” I told her with a sniff then looked away, obviously dismissing her.
“But…” She stared, desperate for another chance.
“Our queen has spoken,” Evie said, teasing me. The girl almost jumped out of her seat when Evie's voice appeared behind her. “Get outta here already.” The girl looked up. Tears streamed down her cheeks, ruining her make-up.
Evie, with one fluid motion, ripped the chair out from under her and dumped her on the ground. Then she sat down in the chair as if nothing happened. I had to laugh at that. The girl laid on the ground for a moment, stunned, as our whole table, and then the whole cafeteria, burst into hoots and hollers.
She got up and ran out the main entrance, but the damage was already done. I knew I kept Evie around for good reason. She could always make me laugh.
Evie opened her takeout bag. “Don’t worry Bek, I got your back.” She pulled out two containers filled with soup and thermos mugs. “Our favorites!”
Looking around the table, I knew who my true friends were: Evie and Brett. The rest were dispensable. They were there because of our good will, and they could be banished at any point and replaced by other desperate peons wanting to please us. They all cowered and refused to make eye contact with me. They pretended to be deeply engrossed in their lunches.
“Don’t gloat,” Evie continued to tease me. I grinned at her and accepted her offering.
“Thanks. We make a great team.”
“I know.” Her eyes scanned the cafeteria. “I have a few ideas on who needs to be brought down a few notches today, if you are willing to help.”
I knew who she was talking about. Evie hated Bethany Blackaby because she had cheated with her boyfriend. The two were just then making out by the main entrance. It was sickening. I knew she had to pay, but in a much worse way than some trivial bullying. No one hurt my best friend and got away with it.
“Evie, Evie, Evie.” I tsked her, shaking a finger at her as I dug through my purse. “You are thinking entirely too small for that tramp.” I pulled out black permanent markers and rolled them to the center of the table. “We have to completely destroy her. We need to annihilate her reputation instead of messing up her day.”
The hungry look in Evie’s eyes told me enough. She was ready to do anything to destroy Bethany.
“What diabolical plan is turning those gears in your head?” she asked me with a grin.
“Where do rumors start?” I asked. Poor Evie wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but she did try. My blonde friend pondered my question without much success of divining an answer.
“Um…with a person?” she asked, pleased with herself.
“Duh, but think more permanent. The bathroom walls, stupid,” I said. “We’ll write the trashiest things about her. About how she’s done the nastiest things with half the pervs, and even the girls in this school. Then, we’ll tell everyone that Brandi or Tom or Elsi saw Bethany doing it with some guy. Just be specific. The more horrible the better. By the end of this quarter, she’ll drop out. I promise. Then, you can decide what you want to do with your ex-boyfriend.”
“You’re pure evil,” Brett said and kissed me as he pulled my sandwich away. “That’s my girl. Bethany won’t know what hit her.”
Evie’s hand snaked out to grab a marker. “You’re the best, Bek,” she said.
I smiled. “I know.” Bethany won’t know what hit her. I’ll crush her.
She was just another victim.
* * *
“Enjoy P.E.” Brett said as we parted ways.
I made a face. “It’s not martial arts,” I said with a shrug and looked away as if I could actually blow this class. But I couldn’t, and he knew it. I couldn’t skip it if I was going to make the A that I needed to keep my grades perfect for my parents. As usual though, I was late. P.E. was so pointless to me.
Evie was already on the court. Like Brett, she was a star athlete, too, but her sport was volleyball. She winked at me before spiking the ball in her hand, forcing the person on the other side of the net to dive for cover instead of risking injury. Her spike could probably kill someone, or at the very least knock them unconscious.
Jo-Ann, the fattie, was in this class, too, but I didn’t see her out on the court. I found her in the locker room, crying. Gym class sucked, but it was no reason to cry. I slid next to her on the bench. No one was there, so it was okay to be nice to her. Plus, I could use whatever she said to later tease her relentlessly if I needed to. It was a win-win situation.
“Hey, what’s wrong, Fattie?” I asked, concerned despite myself.
“Don’t call me that, Barbie,” she snapped. Her cheeks were bright red and wet with tears. “You’re so full of it!”
“I mean it, Jo-Ann. What’s wrong for real?” I had never heard her call me Barbie before, but it was good to hear she had some backbone.
“Nothing,” she said, wiping the tears away with the palms of her hands. As she rose to her feet. I noticed her catch her sweatpants to keep them up.
“You lost some weight." I raised my hand to emphasize this positive change in her life.
“Shut up,” she said, glaring at me. “I’m not fat! I only weigh a hundred and twenty-five pounds, and I wear a size six, so sue me.”
“Jo-Ann.”
“You anorexic freak!”
My back stiffened as I gripped the chipped green bench beneath me. My feet shifted into position.
“Stupid fat cow!” The words exploded out of me.
She charged me. It was a stupid thing to do even while I was sitting down. I was a trained professional, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and I was going to make her regret even thinking about threatening me. Who did she think she was, anyway? Jackie Chan?
I slipped my foot around hers, and she fell to the floor. Dragging her back to her feet, I shoved her against the locker and rammed my fist into her stomach.
“Pig, don’t threaten me again, understood?” I asked. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she nodded. With her doubled over, gasping for breath, I walked away toward the door.
Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen. Weird. It was Mom. I answered it, stopping in my tracks.
“Mom? What’s up?” I asked. I heard her sobbing.
“Honey? Oh God, honey, I’m so sorry. There’s been an accident. Please come home.”
“What happened?” I asked her, stunned.
“Daddy’s been in an accident. There was a train wreck.”
“What?” My world stopped as my hands shook, and the color drained from my face.
No. No. No! This isn't happening. Stuff like this doesn't happen to me!
“Baby, please, come home. I need you.”
My brain wasn’t working. I tried to process her words over and over, but they weren’t computing. It was like she spoke a foreign language I couldn’t comprehend.
“Baby?” I heard her ask after the long pause.
“Okay, Mom,” I said when words finally tumbled from my mouth. I hung up the phone without thinking.
Go home. I have to go home.
Evie stepped into the locker room. Her eyes searched and found me.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. I looked at her and past her at the same time.
“My Dad was in an accident.” I felt as if I were miles away. The words didn’t feel real. It couldn’t have happened. She stared at me in disbelief.
“Oh crap! I’m so sorry,” she said and started to reach out for me.
“Don’t touch me!” I ripped away and bumped into someone. It was Jo-Ann. “Didn’t I tell you—”
“He’s dead.” Jo-Ann’s voice was cold. My body stiffened.
“What did you say?” A chill washed through my body.
“He’s dead,” Jo-Ann said. Her eyes were devoid of life. Evie shook her head.
“How do you know that?” Evie asked. “You don’t know that.”
“Because my Dad’s dead too,” she said. “Train wreck, everyone died.”
I punched her face, pummeling her body like a punching bag before I could stop. Evie tried to hold me back, but she couldn’t.
“What are you doing? Stop it! Bek, stop it!” I could hear the fear in Evie’s voice. She tried to grab my arms, but she wasn’t strong enough to hold me back, not when I was like this. My eyes blazed with anger.
“Don’t ever…talk...about my...father that way! He’s not dead! He’s not!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as my punches interrupted my words. I didn't even register the damage I was doing to Jo-Ann’s body. She lay crumpled against the lockers.
“Please stop,” she pleaded, holding her arms over her head. Her words faded into painful grunts and groans. Footsteps pounded into the locker room.
“What is this? Get off of her!” I heard Coach Drew yell. She was the head coach of the volleyball team and my P.E. teacher. She dived into the brawl, ripping me off Jo-Ann. She shook me hard, turning me to face her. “What the hell are you doing? What were you thinking? Evie, get Coach Benson in here. Now. You!” She tried to drag me somewhere, but I dug my heels into the ground. She looked me up and down. “Sit now.”
“No.” I stuck my chin out.
“Sit down,” she commanded again and tried to jerk me down. My hand flew out and knocked hers aside.
“Don’t touch me again.” I glared at her.
“Sit down, please,” she said. She lifted her chin too, but her eyebrows bunched on her forehead as she bit her lip. “I need to check on Jo-Ann.”
“Check on her then.”
“Don’t move. Evie, go!” the coach yelled. Evie ran out of the locker room as Coach Drew crossed to Jo-Ann. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked. She muttered something like a profanity, grabbed her cell phone and dialed someone. “Mr. Davids, we have a situation in the gym room. One of the students has beaten another student. We may need an ambulance.”
“I didn’t hurt her that bad,” I started to say, but then I saw the blood. Coach Drew gave me the if you say another word I will personally see to it you’ll never see the light of day again look. I shut my mouth.
“I need security, the police, and an ambulance,” she said. As she hung up, Evie and Coach Benson walked into the locker room. He was the coach of the baseball team.
Coach Drew waved her hand at me, not even making eye contact. “Can you take care of Bek? Take her to the office or something.” Coach Benson nodded as his eyes met mine.
“Let’s go,” he said. Jamming my hands in my pockets, I followed him out of the locker room. “What were you thinking?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” His hand moved to my arm. I knocked it away. “Don’t touch me.”
“You had better feel like talking about it when we get to the office. You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady. This is unacceptable behavior. I would think you had more discipline than this.”
“Get off my back!” I said. “I don’t care.” His lips became a thin line. He looked away and didn’t say another word.
This was bad. Suspension, police. I didn’t regret tearing into Jo-Ann like I did. My Dad dead? What right did she have to say that? She didn’t know what she was talking about. I didn’t care if every bone in his body was broken, he was still going to kill me when he found out what I’d done. I didn’t do things like this.
* * *
We met security halfway down the hall, where they actually handcuffed me and took over the procession of walking me to the principal’s office. It was so embarrassing. The few people left in the hall stared at us the entire way. Their eyes bugged out the moment they realized the most popular girl in school was being handcuffed and walked down the hall by security guards.
Inside the office, Mr. Davids sat behind the desk. The security guard handcuffed me to the chair as Mr. Davids rose to his feet and began to pace the small room. Once the guards arranged themselves behind me, he grabbed the back of his chair.
“What happened, Bek? This isn’t like you. You’re the best and brightest pupil in our student body. Why would you attack another student?” he asked. He was one of those cool principals that somehow avoided making himself an enemy to half the campus. There were people that didn’t like him, sure, but if you were good at sports or ranked academically in the top five percent of the school then he knew your name and everything about you.
“Sir—” I stumbled over my words embarrassed. “I don’t know…” I swallowed hard. “I don’t do things like this.” I buried my face into my hands. “M-m-my dad, he’s been in an accident. She said that he died.”
“That’s no reason to beat her up, Bek,” he said, rubbing his face with both of his hands. “The police will be here any minute, and you will have to give a full report. Stay in here. I’m going to check on the student you hurt. Who was it?”
“Jo-Ann,” I said.
His eyes widened, and he left the room in a hurry. The tears dried instantly, and I wiped them away.
The waiting felt like forever. I watched as the minute hand ticked around the clock. It was an hour before Mr. Davids and the police walked into the office. That’s when it dawned on me how serious this was. I looked up at them and felt my chin tremble. Their looks held no forgiveness.
“We understand that you are a black-belt in Tae Kwon Do, Miss Austin,” one of the police officers said. He sat on the desk in front of me with his arms crossed. “Do you understand how seriously you injured that young woman?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry, isn’t good enough, Miss Austin. You injured someone. That’s serious business.”
“What’s going to happen?” I asked.
“No questions from you,” he said. “Tell us what happened from the beginning.”
“Your mother is coming,” Mr. Davids said. The cop glared at him. “Her father was injured today.” The cop’s eyes changed.
“Miss Austin, do you know how your father was injured?” he asked. I shook my head.
“My mom called me on the phone…before, before the fight. She said something bad had happened and that she wanted me to come home. That’s all I know,” I felt my throat tighten and my eyes burn, but I wasn’t going to cry. I never cry.
“Does your father take the train?” he asked. Each word felt as if it weighed a ton. I nodded.
“Is he okay?” I asked them desperately. “Jo-Ann said he was dead. He can’t be dead. He’s not dead. He’s just injured, right?” The cop met his partner’s eyes, before letting out a gusty sigh and rubbing the back of his neck.
“I don’t know if your father is dead or not, but I can find out for you,” he said. “Your mother probably knows. I take it this is what the fight was about then?” He had gone from scary cop to not-so-scary cop in two seconds.
I nodded. “She was crying when I came in. I was just trying to be nice. I asked how she was and then, she got all snarky with me. She even tried to start a fight, but I stopped it…That’s when Mom called. She asked me to come home. Evie came in when I hung up and…and that’s when Jo-Ann told me he was dead. She doesn’t even know though. She doesn’t really know. I just blew it, okay? It was an accident. I was…I didn’t even…” I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “I don’t do stuff like this.”
“Can you verify this, Mr. Davids?” the police officer asked. He nodded.
“She’s never attacked another student before,” he said. “This is simply…unbelievable. She’s one of our best and brightest students.” The cop nodded.
“Due to the circumstances then, I don’t see any reason to take you down to the police station,” he said, scratching his head. “It will be a different matter if the other student’s parents decide to press charges, but I imagine due to the situation and their child provoking a prior fight just minutes before, they won’t. We’ll leave it in your hands, Mr. Davids.” He rose to his feet.
“I don’t ever want to hear you doing this again. Someone with your skills could kill someone. If this happens again, I will take you down to the office, understood?”
“Yes, s-sir,” I said. He nodded and walked out. My mother waited outside the door. Her purse up to her chest, her eyes wide at the sight of cops in the office, and me handcuffed to a chair. My normally immaculate mother stood with mascara running down her cheeks. Her makeup smeared. It was embarrassing. She almost looked like a hooker. She ran into the office.
“What were you thinking?” she asked me.
“Ms. -ur, I mean, Mrs. Austin,” Mr. Davids broke in. “Your daughter has been through a lot. Why don’t you take her home? I’m going to give her the standard week of suspension as punishment for her behavior, or should I make it two weeks?” Why was he asking mom that? She stared at me for a moment, before turning to him.
“Two weeks,” she said in a dead voice. “Better make it two weeks.”
“Mom!” I said “Two weeks? Mr. Davids!”
“Don’t argue,” he said as his frown made him look ten years older. “You’ll probably thank me later.”
He turned to the security guards. “Release her.” Without arguing, the security guards unlocked the handcuffs. I crossed my arms and followed Mom out of the office.
Mom didn’t talk the whole way home. Her eyes were red and glassy, and her mouth was drawn into a tight line. There was no denying it. She was mad.