Book Jacket

 

rank 168
word count 18856
date submitted 04.09.2011
date updated 21.05.2012
genres: Fiction, Young Adult
classification: universal
incomplete

Beastia

Christian Rogue

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

 

A tale as old as time, but laced with horror and pain.


Rebecca is the girl you love to hate until her world shatters.

She lives in the aftermath of a devastating attack that’s left her body and soul marred with horrific scars. Tattooed, pierced, and disfigured, Beastia is jaded and untrusting of the world.

Minding her own business and working at a downtown Chinese Stand, Will walks into her life and flips it upside down. She’s not looking for love. This isn’t another fairy tale.

Now… if only she can convince him of that. Then, everything will go back to normal again.

That is, if the detectives on her case can track down the monster that did this to her before she gets killed this time.



An edgy, romantic thriller that challenges the perceptions of beauty and tests the boundaries of love. Geared toward older YA and a potential crossover.

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

adventure, beast, beastia, beauty, chinese food, cops, crime, crime thiller, ethnic, experiment, faery tale, fairy tale, falling in love, family, frie...

on 92 watchlists

96 comments

 

Text Size

Text Colour

Chapters

1

report abuse

Chapter 1

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

-Dorothy Parker

 

    Looking in the mirror that morning, I thought I was pretty gorgeous, I’m not going to lie. Strawberry blonde hair hung past my shoulders. The tips curled under in perfection, dripping down narrow shoulders and a lithe, but strong body. If I could have marketed sexiness in a can, I would have been a billionaire. Not that I needed money or anything. My daddy did okay. I had a pink Benz in the garage to prove it.

    Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest of them all?

    Why, Rebecca Austin, of course.

    And believe me, this isn’t a fairy tale. It’s my life. I may have looked great on the outside, but I was a flesh-eating, rotten corpse on the inside. By evening, though, that was all going to change.

    I can still hear the flies buzzing as I ran into the first victim of the day at school.

    “Move it, fattie!”

    I refused to yield to a medium-sized plumper as her books flew in every direction. Her eyes welled up in horror as her mouth dropped open to reveal braces.

    “Ugly Betty?”

    Her cheeks turned bright red as my friend Evie giggled and covered her mouth with perfectly manicured nails before reaching up to twist shoulder length brown hair around her index finger. The girl dropped to her knees, and we walked past her, ignoring her frantic grabs for her stuff.

    “Do you have to be so mean?” Evie asked with an evil glint in her eyes. We grinned at each other.

    “Yes!” we said laughing together.

* * *

    “Hey, Bear.” I recognized that voice instantly. Twirling around at my locker, I hugged Brett, my boyfriend. He was just as gorgeous as I was and an all-American quarterback to boot.  Bear was his special nickname for me, because I was so cranky in the morning. He kissed me on the cheek, easily holding my weight, before putting me back down. "Ready for lunch?"

    Lunch never came fast enough in the day. I walked into the cafeteria like a movie star: hair blowing, my dainty hands wrapped around Brett’s forearms, and paparazzi cameras flashing as we passed them.

    OK, so there were no cameras, but there might as well have been. In reality, they were just students with eyes flashing jealousy, wishing they had our lives. They knew they could never be us, though. They would live ordinary, pathetic lives.

    Yes, the gods had blessed us.

    I watched as Brett slammed a tray into a skinny guy’s sci-fi shirt with his free hand. The little guy fell backwards onto the floor, staring up in horror as we walked by. I giggled and looked adoringly at my hero.

    At our table, I was the queen bee. I orchestrated our minions with ease and skill. They had already brought us food from the outside. Today was gourmet sandwiches made to our specific tastes.

    I checked mine and immediately saw she screwed up my order. I frowned.  The others hadn’t even started eating. No one but Brett, anyway. He dug into the sandwich with relish. The rest watched me to make sure I liked what I had received.

    “Do you think I’m stupid?” I demanded at the puppet of the day. I think her name was Emma.

    “Uh, what?” she asked. Her eyes darted away as she shook. She knew what was coming. Rabbit fear was in her eyes. I felt a hungry grin stretch across my face as my eyes narrowed.

    “You heard me. How hard is it to read a text? Can you even read?” I snapped, feeling my blood start to boil. “You messed up my order. I specifically asked for the vegetarian delight without any cheese. And what’s on here? Cheese! Buckets of it! What kind of idiot can’t get this order right? You’re worthless. Go ahead and eat this crap, because you screwed up. Go ahead, eat it.” I sneered at her.

    “I…I…” She couldn’t even talk. Her eyes were wide and glassy.

    “I can’t believe I've put up with your sheer stupidity for so long. Go away,” I told her with a sniff then looked away, obviously dismissing her.

    “But…” She stared, desperate for another chance.

    “Our queen has spoken,” Evie said, teasing me. The girl almost jumped out of her seat when Evie's voice appeared behind her. “Get outta here already.” The girl looked up. Tears streamed down her cheeks, ruining her make-up.

     Evie, with one fluid motion, ripped the chair out from under her and dumped her on the ground. Then she sat down in the chair as if nothing happened. I had to laugh at that. The girl laid on the ground for a moment, stunned, as our whole table, and then the whole cafeteria, burst into hoots and hollers.

    She got up and ran out the main entrance, but the damage was already done. I knew I kept Evie around for good reason. She could always make me laugh.

    Evie opened her takeout bag. “Don’t worry Bek, I got your back.” She pulled out two containers filled with soup and thermos mugs. “Our favorites!”

    Looking around the table, I knew who my true friends were: Evie and Brett. The rest were dispensable. They were there because of our good will, and they could be banished at any point and replaced by other desperate peons wanting to please us. They all cowered and refused to make eye contact with me. They pretended to be deeply engrossed in their lunches.

    “Don’t gloat,” Evie continued to tease me. I grinned at her and accepted her offering.

    “Thanks. We make a great team.”

    “I know.” Her eyes scanned the cafeteria. “I have a few ideas on who needs to be brought down a few notches today, if you are willing to help.”

    I knew who she was talking about. Evie hated Bethany Blackaby because she had cheated with her boyfriend. The two were just then making out by the main entrance. It was sickening. I knew she had to pay, but in a much worse way than some trivial bullying. No one hurt my best friend and got away with it.

    “Evie, Evie, Evie.” I tsked her, shaking a finger at her as I dug through my purse. “You are thinking entirely too small for that tramp.” I pulled out black permanent markers and rolled them to the center of the table. “We have to completely destroy her. We need to annihilate her reputation instead of messing up her day.”

    The hungry look in Evie’s eyes told me enough. She was ready to do anything to destroy Bethany.

    “What diabolical plan is turning those gears in your head?” she asked me with a grin.

    “Where do rumors start?” I asked. Poor Evie wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but she did try. My blonde friend pondered my question without much success of divining an answer.

    “Um…with a person?” she asked, pleased with herself.

    “Duh, but think more permanent. The bathroom walls, stupid,” I said. “We’ll write the trashiest things about her. About how she’s done the nastiest things with half the pervs, and even the girls in this school. Then, we’ll tell everyone that Brandi or Tom or Elsi saw Bethany doing it with some guy. Just be specific. The more horrible the better. By the end of this quarter, she’ll drop out. I promise. Then, you can decide what you want to do with your ex-boyfriend.”

    “You’re pure evil,” Brett said and kissed me as he pulled my sandwich away. “That’s my girl. Bethany won’t know what hit her.”

    Evie’s hand snaked out to grab a marker. “You’re the best, Bek,” she said.

    I smiled. “I know.” Bethany won’t know what hit her. I’ll crush her. 

    She was just another victim.

* * *

    “Enjoy P.E.” Brett said as we parted ways.

    I made a face.  “It’s not martial arts,” I said with a shrug and looked away as if I could actually blow this class. But I couldn’t, and he knew it. I couldn’t skip it if I was going to make the A that I needed to keep my grades perfect for my parents. As usual though, I was late. P.E. was so pointless to me.

    Evie was already on the court. Like Brett, she was a star athlete, too, but her sport was volleyball. She winked at me before spiking the ball in her hand, forcing the person on the other side of the net to dive for cover instead of risking injury. Her spike could probably kill someone, or at the very least knock them unconscious.

    Jo-Ann, the fattie, was in this class, too, but I didn’t see her out on the court. I found her in the locker room, crying. Gym class sucked, but it was no reason to cry. I slid next to her on the bench. No one was there, so it was okay to be nice to her. Plus, I could use whatever she said to later tease her relentlessly if I needed to. It was a win-win situation.

    “Hey, what’s wrong, Fattie?” I asked, concerned despite myself.

    “Don’t call me that, Barbie,” she snapped. Her cheeks were bright red and wet with tears. “You’re so full of it!”

    “I mean it, Jo-Ann. What’s wrong for real?” I had never heard her call me Barbie before, but it was good to hear she had some backbone.

    “Nothing,” she said, wiping the tears away with the palms of her hands. As she rose to her feet. I noticed her catch her sweatpants to keep them up.

    “You lost some weight." I raised my hand to emphasize this positive change in her life.

    “Shut up,” she said, glaring at me. “I’m not fat! I only weigh a hundred and twenty-five pounds, and I wear a size six, so sue me.”

    “Jo-Ann.”

    “You anorexic freak!”

    My back stiffened as I gripped the chipped green bench beneath me. My feet shifted into position.

    “Stupid fat cow!” The words exploded out of me.

    She charged me. It was a stupid thing to do even while I was sitting down. I was a trained professional, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and I was going to make her regret even thinking about threatening me. Who did she think she was, anyway? Jackie Chan?

     I slipped my foot around hers, and she fell to the floor. Dragging her back to her feet, I shoved her against the locker and rammed my fist into her stomach.

    “Pig, don’t threaten me again, understood?” I asked. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she nodded. With her doubled over, gasping for breath, I walked away toward the door.

    Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen. Weird. It was Mom. I answered it, stopping in my tracks.

    “Mom? What’s up?” I asked. I heard her sobbing.

    “Honey? Oh God, honey, I’m so sorry. There’s been an accident. Please come home.”

    “What happened?” I asked her, stunned.

    “Daddy’s been in an accident. There was a train wreck.”

    “What?” My world stopped as my hands shook, and the color drained from my face.

    No. No. No! This isn't happening. Stuff like this doesn't happen to me!

    “Baby, please, come home. I need you.”

    My brain wasn’t working. I tried to process her words over and over, but they weren’t computing. It was like she spoke a foreign language I couldn’t comprehend.

    “Baby?” I heard her ask after the long pause.

    “Okay, Mom,” I said when words finally tumbled from my mouth. I hung up the phone without thinking.

    Go home. I have to go home.

    Evie stepped into the locker room. Her eyes searched and found me.

    “What’s the matter?” she asked. I looked at her and past her at the same time.

    “My Dad was in an accident.” I felt as if I were miles away. The words didn’t feel real. It couldn’t have happened. She stared at me in disbelief.

    “Oh crap! I’m so sorry,” she said and started to reach out for me.

    “Don’t touch me!” I ripped away and bumped into someone. It was Jo-Ann. “Didn’t I tell you—”

    “He’s dead.” Jo-Ann’s voice was cold. My body stiffened.

    “What did you say?” A chill washed through my body.

    “He’s dead,” Jo-Ann said. Her eyes were devoid of life. Evie shook her head.

    “How do you know that?” Evie asked. “You don’t know that.”

    “Because my Dad’s dead too,” she said. “Train wreck, everyone died.”

    I punched her face, pummeling her body like a punching bag before I could stop. Evie tried to hold me back, but she couldn’t.

    “What are you doing? Stop it! Bek, stop it!” I could hear the fear in Evie’s voice. She tried to grab my arms, but she wasn’t strong enough to hold me back, not when I was like this. My eyes blazed with anger.

    “Don’t ever…talk...about my...father that way! He’s not dead! He’s not!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as my punches interrupted my words. I didn't even register the damage I was doing to Jo-Ann’s body. She lay crumpled against the lockers.

    “Please stop,” she pleaded, holding her arms over her head. Her words faded into painful grunts and groans. Footsteps pounded into the locker room.

    “What is this? Get off of her!” I heard Coach Drew yell. She was the head coach of the volleyball team and my P.E. teacher. She dived into the brawl, ripping me off Jo-Ann. She shook me hard, turning me to face her. “What the hell are you doing?  What were you thinking? Evie, get Coach Benson in here. Now. You!” She tried to drag me somewhere, but I dug my heels into the ground. She looked me up and down. “Sit now.”

    “No.” I stuck my chin out.

    “Sit down,” she commanded again and tried to jerk me down. My hand flew out and knocked hers aside.

    “Don’t touch me again.” I glared at her.

    “Sit down, please,” she said. She lifted her chin too, but her eyebrows bunched on her forehead as she bit her lip. “I need to check on Jo-Ann.”

    “Check on her then.”

    “Don’t move. Evie, go!” the coach yelled. Evie ran out of the locker room as Coach Drew crossed to Jo-Ann.  “Hey, are you okay?” she asked. She muttered something like a profanity, grabbed her cell phone and dialed someone. “Mr. Davids, we have a situation in the gym room. One of the students has beaten another student. We may need an ambulance.”

    “I didn’t hurt her that bad,” I started to say, but then I saw the blood. Coach Drew gave me the if you say another word I will personally see to it you’ll never see the light of day again look. I shut my mouth.

    “I need security, the police, and an ambulance,” she said. As she hung up, Evie and Coach Benson walked into the locker room. He was the coach of the baseball team.

    Coach Drew waved her hand at me, not even making eye contact. “Can you take care of Bek? Take her to the office or something.” Coach Benson nodded as his eyes met mine.

    “Let’s go,” he said. Jamming my hands in my pockets, I followed him out of the locker room. “What were you thinking?”

    “I don’t want to talk about it.” His hand moved to my arm. I knocked it away. “Don’t touch me.”

    “You had better feel like talking about it when we get to the office. You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady. This is unacceptable behavior. I would think you had more discipline than this.”

    “Get off my back!” I said. “I don’t care.” His lips became a thin line. He looked away and didn’t say another word.

    This was bad. Suspension, police. I didn’t regret tearing into Jo-Ann like I did. My Dad dead? What right did she have to say that? She didn’t know what she was talking about. I didn’t care if every bone in his body was broken, he was still going to kill me when he found out what I’d done. I didn’t do things like this.

 

* * *

    We met security halfway down the hall, where they actually handcuffed me and took over the procession of walking me to the principal’s office. It was so embarrassing. The few people left in the hall stared at us the  entire way. Their eyes bugged out the moment they realized the most popular girl in school was being handcuffed and walked down the hall by security guards.

    Inside the office, Mr. Davids sat behind the desk. The security guard handcuffed me to the chair as Mr. Davids rose to his feet and began to pace the small room. Once the guards arranged themselves behind me, he grabbed the back of his chair.

    “What happened, Bek? This isn’t like you. You’re the best and brightest pupil in our student body. Why would you attack another student?” he asked. He was one of those cool principals that somehow avoided making himself an enemy to half the campus. There were people that didn’t like him, sure, but if you were good at sports or ranked academically in the top five percent of the school then he knew your name and everything about you.

    “Sir—” I stumbled over my words embarrassed. “I don’t know…” I swallowed hard. “I don’t do things like this.” I buried my face into my hands. “M-m-my dad, he’s been in an accident. She said that he died.”

    “That’s no reason to beat her up, Bek,” he said, rubbing his face with both of his hands. “The police will be here any minute, and you will have to give a full report. Stay in here. I’m going to check on the student you hurt. Who was it?”

    “Jo-Ann,” I said.

    His eyes widened, and he left the room in a hurry. The tears dried instantly, and I wiped them away.

    The waiting felt like forever. I watched as the minute hand ticked around the clock. It was an hour before Mr. Davids and the police walked into the office. That’s when it dawned on me how serious this was. I looked up at them and felt my chin tremble. Their looks held no forgiveness.

    “We understand that you are a black-belt in Tae Kwon Do, Miss Austin,” one of the police officers said. He sat on the desk in front of me with his arms crossed. “Do you understand how seriously you injured that young woman?”

    “I’m sorry.”

    “Sorry, isn’t good enough, Miss Austin. You injured someone. That’s serious business.”

    “What’s going to happen?” I asked.

    “No questions from you,” he said. “Tell us what happened from the beginning.”

    “Your mother is coming,” Mr. Davids said. The cop glared at him. “Her father was injured today.” The cop’s eyes changed.

    “Miss Austin, do you know how your father was injured?” he asked. I shook my head.

    “My mom called me on the phone…before, before the fight. She said something bad had happened and that she wanted me to come home. That’s all I know,” I felt my throat tighten and my eyes burn, but I wasn’t going to cry. I never cry.

    “Does your father take the train?” he asked. Each word felt as if it weighed a ton. I nodded.

    “Is he okay?” I asked them desperately. “Jo-Ann said he was dead. He can’t be dead. He’s not dead. He’s just injured, right?” The cop met his partner’s eyes, before letting out a gusty sigh and rubbing the back of his neck.

    “I don’t know if your father is dead or not, but I can find out for you,” he said. “Your mother probably knows. I take it this is what the fight was about then?” He had gone from scary cop to not-so-scary cop in two seconds.

    I nodded. “She was crying when I came in. I was just trying to be nice. I asked how she was and then, she got all snarky with me. She even tried to start a fight, but I stopped it…That’s when Mom called. She asked me to come home. Evie came in when I hung up and…and that’s when Jo-Ann told me he was dead. She doesn’t even know though. She doesn’t really know. I just blew it, okay? It was an accident. I was…I didn’t even…” I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “I don’t do stuff like this.”

    “Can you verify this, Mr. Davids?” the police officer asked. He nodded.

    “She’s never attacked another student before,” he said. “This is simply…unbelievable. She’s one of our best and brightest students.” The cop nodded.

    “Due to the circumstances then, I don’t see any reason to take you down to the police station,” he said, scratching his head. “It will be a different matter if the other student’s parents decide to press charges, but I imagine due to the situation and their child provoking a prior fight just minutes before, they won’t. We’ll leave it in your hands, Mr. Davids.” He rose to his feet.

    “I don’t ever want to hear you doing this again. Someone with your skills could kill someone. If this happens again, I will take you down to the office, understood?”

    “Yes, s-sir,” I said. He nodded and walked out. My mother waited outside the door. Her purse up to her chest, her eyes wide at the sight of cops in the office, and me handcuffed to a chair. My normally immaculate mother stood with mascara running down her cheeks. Her makeup smeared. It was embarrassing.  She almost looked like a hooker. She ran into the office.

    “What were you thinking?” she asked me.

    “Ms. -ur, I mean, Mrs. Austin,” Mr. Davids broke in. “Your daughter has been through a lot. Why don’t you take her home? I’m going to give her the standard week of suspension as punishment for her behavior, or should I make it two weeks?” Why was he asking mom that? She stared at me for a moment, before turning to him.

    “Two weeks,” she said in a dead voice. “Better make it two weeks.”

    “Mom!” I said “Two weeks? Mr. Davids!”

    “Don’t argue,” he said as his frown made him look ten years older. “You’ll probably thank me later.”

He turned to the security guards. “Release her.” Without arguing, the security guards unlocked the handcuffs. I crossed my arms and followed Mom out of the office.

    Mom didn’t talk the whole way home. Her eyes were red and glassy, and her mouth was drawn into a tight line. There was no denying it. She was mad.

 

Chapters

1

report abuse

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
X the Unknown33 wrote 127 days ago

I don't think I ever read a book, that is so awe-inspiring as Beastia. It is a song of brilliance, a timeless tale, a truly beautiful piece of work.

Sovannah
Conqueror

p.s. Six stars!

X the Unknown33 wrote 127 days ago

Christian, what the heck r u doing on this site? this book is so cool! Beastia should be in theaters!

Textual Ribbons wrote 239 days ago

I've already backed and starred this, but I've come back for more and have read through chapter six so far. Here are my comments:

This story is intriguing, and definitely original. She's the perfect bitch, and she turns into an ugly, insecure victim who's become what the monster shaped her to be because she doesn't know who she is anymore. She has a Lieutenant at her back along with a Chinese family, as well as the girl she kicked the shit out of back in High School. Now she's met this hot guy who's down on his luck, and is put in a position where she has to confront her general fear of men with him.

The writing is fantastic, and it's easy to fly through the chapters without realizing the time, or having any inclination to stop. Personally, I would keep reading now but I am so hungry that I'll probably drop dead at the keyboard if I don't eat, so there you have it. One thing I will say is that the first two chapters didn't quite hook me-- it was the third where I really strapped in and sat down for the ride. I feel that's where your story begins, and I know those first two chapters are needed, but I don't know. If I hadn't decided to come back and read the third chapter I might not have continued at all.

A few nits regarding commas:

1) you tend to forget to use commas with your speech tags. Like, instead of writing,' "Hi, I'm Mary," she said.', you write ' "Hi, I'm Mary." She said.'

2) you sometimes drop commas where they should be, such as in this sentence, ' "You lost weight," she said worried.' There needs to be a pause after 'said' or else it reads funny.

Really though, this is kickass, and I hope this is a complete novel because I'm sure I'll get to the end of what you have in short order and I'll want more! :D

Best of luck,

Jasmine

MrKarats wrote 235 days ago

Chistian!

I entered chapter 7 of your upload today... what an engaging story! I will be finishing it in a couple of days probably, but I thought I should say a thing or two before.

You are nailing the psychological aspect of Bek. It all has a great pace and all aspects of Bek's life after the "event" are so prolific! I never thought I'd like a story such as this. 6 stars for now, and if it keeps going this way I'll have to find you a spot on my shelf :)

I'll comment again in a couple of days offering suggestions for certain parts that could use minor changes-in my opinion.

Yannis

OpheliaWrites wrote 154 days ago

Review: BEASTIA

I've read all you have posted, most of it in a single day, and I must say that this is the first YA book on authonomy that I have desperately wanted to see published in order to put it in the hands of my pre-teen daughter. From the content to the unusual characters to the quirky narrative voice, this is a fresh and brutally honest piece of art. Ignoring the occasional grammatical errors or word substitutions, I found myself crying one moment and laughing aloud the next. The driving moral message behind this story is EXACTLY what every girl should hear and understand.

I will admit that I was put off by chapter one and almost missed the opportunity to read Beastia. I don't know how to fix that since the very thing that put me off is the same catalyst from which the plot launches. In summary, this manuscript feels too real to be fiction and I hope against hope that this has not been based in your life experiences. It isn't a fairy tale. Thank you for being authentic.

6 stars & backed,
SW
Devil Went Down

Lourdes wrote 6 days ago

Christian,
The first chapter is fiery and demanding of attention. When Bec goes through that terrible ordeal and becomes Beastia, the loneliness and self-loathing are almost palpable. Later on when you introduce Meiko, Boss Man and Will, and bring JoAnne back (of all people), makes the story...wholesome.
When Beastia is published, I hope every teen in the world has the opportunity to read it, in fact, I think it should be brought into high schools and encourage studdents to do a paper on it. There's so much crime in the world and so many young victims. Beastia can certainly be a warning to many.
Six stars and on my shelf as soon as i can.
Best,
Maria
The Path to Survival

JHornet wrote 7 days ago

You have the gift of keeping the reader turning the page. Awesome book, highly recommended.
Jim

JessW10 wrote 8 days ago

This is one of the best stories I've read on this site.
Very enjoyable and I love the cover!
All the best,
Jess:)
Would You Like Brains With That?

patio wrote 16 days ago

I enjoyed Beastia. Chapter seven is my highlight

"Im such a freak" "Say positive things about yourself" That's uplifting and inspirational

Tarzan For Real wrote 35 days ago

Story is flowing well. Great original concept, and great dialogue too. The pace and foreshadowing is excellent. I'll continue to read on.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

Marita A. Hansen wrote 36 days ago

Chapter 5: It's been a while, but I wanted to continue reading your book. This is a nice sized chapter that shows Beastia letting her guard down to allow Will to enter her apartment. 2 years since her attack--which makes sense that she's so guarded, plus the inclusion of Lt. Wall was also good. The cop's inclusion also shows that they haven't stopped looking for the warped person who'd transformed Rebecca into Beastia... Hence the guy will reappear, adding to the suspense and plot.

I didn't find anything that I thought could be edited. Nothing noticeable. I'll let you know what I think of chapter 6 when I get some more time.

Shelby Z. wrote 36 days ago

This is very original. It is written in such a way that there is a depth to it. I shows so much more than a normal book.
It has a flow and development to it that is good.
The cover, pitch, and title are well chosen for this book.
It isn't my sort of story, but I love the way you write.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

blue-eyed-princess wrote 36 days ago

Okay this is a great book I love it and cant wait till it's on my real shelf for good. I'll keep reading it and I will Proudly back it. Good luck and best wishes!

Adeel wrote 36 days ago

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

kelliewallace23 wrote 49 days ago

In a world of egotistical people (Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton anybody) you caught Reecca's self absorbed personality brilliantly. I loved the scene in the cafeteria as she walks in with Brett. I'm not usually a fan of first person but with a very topical theme and excellent character voice this novel will go far. Well done.

Kellie
To Lean on falling men

Kerrie Price wrote 50 days ago

Hi Christian Rogue,
I've started on your book and I have to say that you write very well for your audience. Sorry, it's just not my kind of book, but that doesn't say anything about your skill as an author. All the best.

ses7 wrote 54 days ago

Christian, this is a really creepy story. I just read through your first three chapters, and you have a very nasty character who gets herself into a very creepy situation. Very interesting. (To be honest, it’s kind of a bit much for me, so I don’t think I’m going to read any further, but it’s horrific for sure). With your title and premise, I’m wondering if you’re trying to do a take on the “Beauty and the Beast” story a little bit—and I think it’s working well.

I don’t have a lot to say in terms of suggestions. I think my personal taste would be to introduce the character being her nasty self in one chapter, and then get to her attack in the second to maybe streamline the story a bit, but I think you had some good detail in here.

Very creepy. Hateful characters and tragic circumstances—what a fine mess to dig out of on this adventure. Great setup.

Thanks for reading my story, and I wish you the very best of luck on yours.

-Sarah E.S.

Geneva Wilkins wrote 56 days ago

Just finished reading through chapter one and although I'm not a fan of your main character- she's horrible, I do think that your writing is great. The story flows nicely, the dialogue fits and your character development thus far seems right on track. I did find a few typos that I thought I should point out, but aside from those, well done.

The paragraph that starts with the phrase, You're pure evil, somewhere in the middle of the sentence you say... he took pulled my sandwich away, I'm thinking it's just a typo, but it should be one or the other. (took/pulled)

When speaking to her mom after learning of the train wreck mom should begin with a capitol M since she's using it as a name.

riantorr wrote 58 days ago

To the bone indeed ...

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

Luann Jung wrote 65 days ago

Wow . . . . . I am at a loss for words. This book is really intriguing and makes me want to read more and more. I read the whole thing in a few hours, and loved every second of it!

scargirl wrote 65 days ago

you have done a great job with this and fulfilled the promises you give us in the long pitch....
j
what every woman should know

Tarzan For Real wrote 67 days ago

Believable dialogue and you are mapping out the characters well. I like the humanistic approach your taking on Rebecca Austin and Evie already.

Tarzan For Real wrote 67 days ago

I like your concept on this. I'll have to check it out and review it. The concept artwork on the cover is exceptional too.

kingsdaughter wrote 75 days ago

Very gripping! Well written and fantastically real - I was instantly drawn into the story.

satrap wrote 77 days ago

I enjoyed reading your Book a lot;It somehow reminded me of the classical ones in Literature.

Shahryar Cohanzad

satrap wrote 77 days ago

I enjoyed reading the book a lot; It somehow reminded me of the classical books in literature.
Shahryar Cohanzad

satrap wrote 77 days ago

I enjoyed reading the Book a lot.It somehow reminded me of the classical Books in literature.

Shahryar Cohanzad

Nick Cullen wrote 77 days ago

I was drawn first by the title, then by the pitch and the deal was closed with the first chapter. I always find it refreshing to discover writing that's as crisp as this. You made me detest 'Barbie' from the first moment, well done! But yet, there are the slightest, and I mean slightest glimpses of her having a soul-when she acknowledges the other girl standing up to her-the subtlety is massive, if that makes any sense. I'll definitely be coming back for more.
Seriously good stuff. going on my WL and when I rotate my bookshelf this will be on it.
Slán
Nick

nautaV wrote 79 days ago

Hi Christian. Nice, intriguing read! Good pace, perfect dialogues make you forget the time and follow ...not plot, but life. Your main character's portrayal, her way from an alpha HS girl to Beastia is so true to life... Thanks a lot! All stars and backed, for sure.

Val But ESCAPE. Have a look at mine, if you please.

Marita A. Hansen wrote 81 days ago

Another interesting chapter with the progress of where Rebecca is now: Three years after the incident that changed her life. I like the introduction of Will, his character very nice. I also like how very different Rebecca is, and I just noticed at the end that Rebecca must've told people her name was Jo-Ann as her boss uses the name when he says, "Jo-Ann will help me close." Interesting that she used the fat girl's name. So, now she's only referred to as Bestia or Jo-Ann, because she mustn't see herself as Rebecca anymore, the name dying with her father.

I only have 3 nitpicks. I've placed them below:
1) When Will comes into the shop Rebecca's asks: "Whatcha ya order?" ***I think it would sound better without the "ya."
2) A little futher down the "a" needs to be changed to "an" as seen in your line here: ...acting like a average response...
3) "It's getting too busy for me to cover the front during lunch and supper," I said. He nodded. ***Take out the: "He nodded" as it's not needed, plus it interferes with Rebeccas's line.

That's it for now. I'll leave a comment for chapter 4 next time. Regards, Marita.

Marita A. Hansen wrote 83 days ago

Chapter 2: This is a very dark tale, but so well written that I blinked and before I knew it I had finished the chapter. There is definitely no dull moments, or any errors that I could find. Although, Rebecca isn't a nice person, far from it, what has happened to her is harsh, a horror tale with the piercings, tattoos, scarring... You have described it well. Thus far your story has captured me and I'm interested in where it's heading. Well done.

JKass wrote 84 days ago

The opening line of the pitch was wonderful "Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly is to the bone". Speaks volumes and sets the tone of the work.
Chapter one starts off with a bang, best way to start a book in my opinion, grabs the reader! It worked here, I was hooked. The first chapter made me hate Rebecca, but it also made her seem very human, abet a crappy one.
Great work, I'm adding it to my W/L so i can catch up on it later! 6 stars.

Joe,
The Hooligans of Kandahar

Marita A. Hansen wrote 84 days ago

I tend to review by chapter when I'm going to read more than one, because I like commenting when things are still fresh in my mind. So, here's my views on chapter 1...which are all good.

This is quite an explosive chapter with a lot of action happening. I liked the beginning, with the girl's attitude grabbing my attention straight away. Her high opinion of herself, but the notion that she was going to take a big fall was a good hook. I liked Rebecca's voice and thought this was narrated very well. Whether a character is nice or not it doesn't matter, all they need to be is interesting and Rebecca was certainly that.

The structure and pace flowed very nicely, from the introduction to the nasty way that Rebecca treated Jo-Ann, then her attempt at being nice. After the phone call everything blew up, Rebecca's reaction to Jo-Ann saying that her father was dead creating very good drama. The fight, the police, then the mention of the train, and her mother coming was all good. I couldn't fault chapter one and will proceed to the next chapter when I get some more time. I will leave you a comment afterwards.

In relation to typos or grammatical errors, there were none. This is a very polished piece of work. Well done.

Atieno wrote 87 days ago

Excellent easy read. Miss Austine makes me wnat to punch her face in chapter one.lol, That's a good feeling and am turning on to chapter two without regrets.
Josphine
Notime goes bye

Greenleaf wrote 88 days ago

Wow! This is really, really good. I started reading the first chapter and almost stopped because Rebecca was shallow and mean, but then I read your pitch. I kept reading the first chapter, and before I knew it I was at chapter six. I'll be back to read more after I'm caught up on my other reading.

I understand why this book is doing so well in the rankings. Great job!

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Terje wrote 92 days ago

I was put on to this by Kara (Sammy); I am impressed, and like the readiness to go to extremes unflinchingly. I felkt that some of the details (the phone call, for example) and the pacing might need to be looked at carefully, but these are minor issues.

I am putting this on my watchlist, and will back when I can. Five stars.

Kara Thrace wrote 102 days ago

This is great, I mean, seriously good. I finally had a spare hour and read the book I've been backing for a few weeks ... wow, I'm glad I did.
I love it.

I'll be back on later to leave a proper comment with my full thoughts - but just wanted to add something before I forgot.

Already backed, because not only is this book awesome - but you are too xx

Sam

Alidownb wrote 108 days ago

I read chapters 9 and 10.

This is very well written. Though I was never bullied, I always feel a sense of here's-a-dagger-in-your-side when I read or see the internal ugliness of another literally exposed.

I don't know if it's because I'm sleepy, but I did get confused at times because I think Beastia speaks of Bek (herself) in 3rd person, but it's random and she constantly refers to her as "she". Sometimes I didn't know who she was talking about and thought maybe, once in a while, you could tell us it's Bek.

Other than that, I thought this was nicely written and you are good with dialog.

-Aliah
Her Demise

Tod Schneider wrote 113 days ago

Just read the first chapter. Great job creating the girl we love to hate! Perfect voice and tone. I think you nailed it. I would think this would really grab teen girls.
I hope you're open to minor, petty nitpicking (and please, feel free to return the favor!), I'd suggest breaking some of your longer sentences in half. Examples: I may have looked nice on the outside....corpse on the inside(.)
Her eyes welled up in horror (.) Her mouth...
My back stiffened(.) I grabbed the chipped green...
You injured someone (.) That's serious.
You might want to be specific about what "stuff" is, when it flies out of Jo-ann's hands. Books? A flurry of papers? A slushie?
typo: "in her hand" is missing it's N.
When you say "I buried my face in my hands" you then say "the cop nodded." Seems like you wouldn't be able to see the nod in that case.
Best of luck!
-- Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

earthlover wrote 117 days ago

Okay. Read through chapter 27. What a good story! I have very little to comment on, except how well written it is. This has been Beastia day at my house.
I do think that some of your chapters are a little repetitive. I know it takes time in real life for a person to process the horrid tragedy that it Beastia's life, but it seemed a little drawn out to me to keep the reader's interest. Maybe Tom really was standing on the stairs the night of Beastia's nightmare...and maybe no one believes her but he was there.
I love the police officers assigned to her case and the therapist, lovely story you are telling, my dear!
I loved the characters of Jo-Ann and Will. I feel like your MC reaped what she sewed a little, although that is so blatantly unfair. No one reaps what your MC reaps fairly.
Highly starred!
Keep on keeping the faith on this one! Beautifully written, meaningful, deep, real, and alive read.
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Marisa Elyse wrote 117 days ago

I have to admit, I was drawn in by your description of your book. Tattoos? In. Piercings? Double in. And a female lead who had gone through hell and back not backing down? I'm there.

Beastia is an interesting tale that you have woven, one that I winced at in the opening chapters, though in a positive way. I winced at the fattie nicknames, just like I winced when I found out what happened to her. Admittedly, I'm only a few chapters in, but I plan on reading the rest soon. Oh, and you get a backing.

Cheers,
Marisa
Tower of Paradise

earthlover wrote 118 days ago

Loved this. I read through chapter two this evening, and will read on....Highly starred and watchlisted. Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Final Validity wrote 118 days ago

A brilliantly well thought out and conceived as well as masterfully written, Beastia! I tip my hat to you my lady, bravo! I foresee not only a book contract but a movie deal as well. Pure Exquisiteness!

Pavin

RubyGold wrote 119 days ago

Wow, this is a really amazing, sad book. The details of Beastia are good, and the story flows very nicely! Good work!

ScottTrimas wrote 119 days ago

This book is theaters worthy and sounds very good from what I read so far and I can't wait to read more.

John Bayliss wrote 123 days ago

I have read the first eight chapters of Beastia and enjoyed them immensely. The writing is very professional and the characterisation is totally convincing, especially Bek/Beastia herself, who comes over as a fully formed, three-dimensional person with all her self-doubt and prickliness.

I do have one observation, though I do feel a bit mean to have to mention it, considering how highly I rate your writing. For me, the story only really took off after Bek became Beastia. When I initially read the first two chapters, the series of disasters that Bek suffered did seem rather excessive. As I read on (chapter three onwards), only then I started to understand that pretty much everything that happened in those two chapters is essential to the plot (especially setting up her relationship to Jo-Ann), but at the time I was a bit bewildered as to what the story was going to be about. Anyway, this just one observation from one reader; I'm sure other readers will have a totally different opinion.

I want to wish you the best of luck with "Beastia". Not only should it be published, it should be on every high school student's book shelf. I believe it's the sort of story that can change people's outlook on life.

I've given Beastia a constellation of stars.

best wishes and good writing
John Bayliss

PricePL wrote 126 days ago

Great stuff! Yours is the first book I read when I signed up here. Cuz it was so good I trusted your "shelf" instincts too. "My" instincts were right; THIS is right on. Starred and shelved.

X the Unknown33 wrote 127 days ago

I don't think I ever read a book, that is so awe-inspiring as Beastia. It is a song of brilliance, a timeless tale, a truly beautiful piece of work.

Sovannah
Conqueror

p.s. Six stars!

X the Unknown33 wrote 127 days ago

Christian, what the heck r u doing on this site? this book is so cool! Beastia should be in theaters!

Julio Guzman wrote 127 days ago

Wow, I've never read a book before where the meanest girl in school was the main character, very original! It's like you want the reader to hate her and kick some into sense to her but then again try to see things through her perspective and see if you have a change of heart. Your writing is flawless as you might already know and your settings and characters are brought to life with sufficient details.

Love this!
Highly starred :)

Tanya Sing wrote 127 days ago

Hey, this is an awesome book! Skillfully woven together to inspire the reader intensely. Love the quotes in the beginning of each chapter, and love the message! I really hope you publish!
God Bless
Tanya

Paul Freeman wrote 128 days ago

Christian! This is great. I've read the first four chapters in a blink, your writing flows really smoothiy, Jesus, talk about life changing moments I really enjoyed the read so far.

Paul.

David J Baron wrote 137 days ago

Hi Christian

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

Scott Toney wrote 143 days ago

Christian Rogue,

I love the premise of Beastia and just finished the first chapter! To start, Bek is a fantastic main character and it is great getting into your book through her mindset in the first chapter! We see her through this stuck-up light and then watch her begin to shatter when she gets the call about her dad and Jo-Ann breaks the news to her about what happened with the train. My heart wrenched when I read this and suddenly I realized that this would be the thing that sent her downward. I love the idea that she will become a beast and that we will see if a guy could love her!

Great twist on a classic tale! I can't wait to return for more and I've starred Beastia highly and have added it to me wl. Thank you so much for the enjoyable read and for your time with The Ark of Humanity!

Have a wonderful day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

FinkArtStudio wrote 143 days ago

The pitch did nothing for me- my first impression was, that it was a knock-off of the recent young adult fiction "Beastly", but after reading some of the other comments on here, I am interested and will add this to my watchlist. Will come back again and read when I have some time to relax.

12