Book Jacket

 

rank 5457
word count 77116
date submitted 05.09.2011
date updated 14.12.2011
genres: Fiction, Romance, Science Fiction, ...
classification: moderate
complete

Endurance

Karen Eisenbrey

Stranded on an asteroid, twelve members of a research expedition must rely on their commander's daring plan to reach safety before resources run out.

 

A story of courage, loyalty, faith and love . . .

Hard work and talent launched Ruby Ladd's career in the Space Corps on a rocket's trajectory -- until disaster on Mars killed her mentor and bruised her spirit. Grounded for five years because of questions about her role in the failed mission, she has finally been granted her first command, a high-profile expedition to the Asteroid Belt that demands her particular brand of courage, optimism, and cool-headed leadership. She wants nothing more than to forget the past and lead a successful mission.

Daredevil filmmaker Holden Gunner comes along to document the expedition. He expects to make a blockbuster true-life space epic. The key to his project lies in Commander Ladd's past . . . but she isn't talking.

Just as Ladd begins to trust Gunner, a series of accidents disables their ship and leaves the whole expedition in imminent peril. With the ship about to be destroyed, Commander Ladd devises a plan of unprecedented daring to bring her people to safety.

WARNING: Contains casual, non-gratuitous profanity.

Inspired by a true story.

 
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asteroid, comedy of manners, endurance, hard sci fi, mars, moon, olympus mons, science fiction, shackleton, space travel

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DEDICATION

 

This work of fiction was inspired by the remarkable true story of the failed Imperial Transantarctic Expedition of 1914-17, and is dedicated with deepest admiration and respect to the memories of Sir Ernest Shackleton, Mr. Frank Hurley, and the men, dogs, and cat of the Endurance. 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

2124/08/24: This ship is not pretty, but shell be a fine home-very-far-away-from-home. In that sense, shes beautiful.

Commander Ladds Expedition Journal

 

    Ruby Ladds first official act as Expedition Commander was to fire the cook.

    That wasnt the plan. Not even close. The plan was to meet Captain Williams, look over the ship, review some details, then assemble the rest of the party to get acquainted before the next days launch. While Ruby knew most of them already, they didnt all know each other, and they would be together for over a year. This initial meeting meant they wouldnt be rank strangers at launch. 

    Even this was a backup plan. Shed wanted to have everyone together much earlier, but her bosses had other ideas. It was a minor hiccup; Ruby adjusted and moved on. The delay only heightened her anticipation. She had been earthbound too long.

    Ruby had been traveling for three days already by the time she arrived at Armstrong Spaceport the night before  one day from Seattle to the orbital launch loop in Upham, an hour or so in Earth orbit, then two days on the Moon shuttle. At least, it was night to her  2100 Pacific Daylight Time but it wouldnt be dark on this side of the Moon for another week, and according to the spaceport clocks, it was 0700. Breakfast time. She crashed in exhausted sleep and got up five hours later, space-lagged and groggy, but in time to eat lunch a bacon cheeseburger, and a pretty good breakfast, at that. All it needed was a fried egg.

    After the meal, she suited up and went outside. The blazing sun precluded even a glimpse of Earth. The view Ruby had from orbit was the last shed get for a long time. She wondered for a moment if she was right to leave now, when things were so unsettled. But the uncertainty didnt last. This mission could make things better. And she had spotted her ship. 

    Ruby bounded across the bright, pale surface for a closer look. Shed seen diagrams and models, but this was her first glimpse of the real thing. A Salish-class cargo transport, formerly named Polaris, had been completely remodeled for this expedition. Essentially a new ship, she needed a new name. Ruby re-christened her Endurance. On a mission this long, theyd need it.

    Most of the cargo fleet had been replaced with the larger Weddell-class vessels, but Ruby had specifically requested a Salish. She had flown them early in her career, when Armstrong was under construction, and knew the class well. They were blocky and basic, reliable and relatively easy to repair, requiring only a small crew.

    Although based on an old model, Endurance bristled with the latest communications gear, as well as photovoltaic panels and a furled solar sail. Her hull was thick with extra plating to protect her from meteors and other space debris. This physical shielding provided some protection from radiation, as well, but the most important safety feature was invisible. Magnetic shielding would protect the occupants from high-energy cosmic rays. Without it, any manned mission longer than a few days was unfeasible, but with it, the people aboard were almost as safe as they would be on Earth. This was proven technology, in effect at the Moon and Mars bases as well as on the ships that traveled between them. Ruby had some concerns about the amount of experimental equipment aboard, but that was part of the mission. The ship looked stout, strong, and as eager as her commander to be on her way.

    Ruby presented her credentials to the guard on duty, and entered the airlock. When the light changed from red to green, she stepped into the ship proper. She removed her helmet and hung it next to three others on a rack beside the entrance, then made her way to her quarters in the forward section. The passage was finished in white, with large black arrows indicating up in relation to the ship, and bright yellow handholds at regular intervals to assist with zero-gravity movement.  

    The Commanders cabin was just below the bridge. The Captain and First Officer had the cabins to either side. Everyone else would sleep below. They werent carrying much cargo, and the extra space had been converted into private quarters for all members of the party. Some cabins were tiny, but privacy of any kind was a luxury on a spaceship. In the months ahead, they would appreciate it more and more.

    In addition to the standard sleeping bag and storage lockers, the Commanders quarters featured a large forward viewing port, as well as a private head. The cabin was spacious enough to also serve as her office if she needed a private meeting with one or two others.

    It was tempting to just gaze out the viewing port, but Ruby had work to do. She stashed her bags in a storage locker and changed from her spacesuit into the comfortable working uniform of dark blue pants and shirt with sky blue jacket. Close-fitting clothes worked best in low gravity, but these moved with the wearer and didnt feel tight. Like her regulation camisole and briefs, they were made of an anti-microbial fabric that could be worn for a week or more without washing before it started to stink. They were unlikely to test that property, given that the ship was equipped with the latest in ultrasonic laundry facilities.

    Ruby clipped her SkyComm to her belt and headed for the bridge. A noise from the galley led her back there to investigate. She had to work her way through a maze of transport bins, filled with fresh and pre-cooked food that had not yet been stowed. She cast an impatient glance on this disorganization, but did not resent the meat and produce. They would be on packaged rations soon enough.

    How long do you estimate it will take to put all this away? she called as she entered the galley. We launch at   

    She broke off. A man sprawled on the deck. Several days growth of stubble shadowed his chin. He inhaled with a resonant snore that might have roused the dead but did not wake him. He clutched an empty tequila bottle like a teddy bear.

    Hey! She shook his shoulder. He snorted and peered at her through half-opened eyes. What are you doing here? 

    Im the cook, he slurred.

    Im the cook, maam.

    His brows drew together in a puzzled frown. No, youre not, I am. And dont call me maam. Gnight. He closed his eyes again and rolled onto his side.

    Before he could snore again, Ruby nudged his ribs with her booted foot. Youre supposed to call me maam. Im the commander of this expedition. 

    He opened his eyes wide. Oh. Shit. Youre Ladd? He sat up.

    Yes. And you are . . .? 

    Green. Maam. Lloyd Green. Im the cook. 

    You mentioned that. Youre also drunk. 

    Yes, maam. As a skunk, maam. I was nervous. Never been on such a long mission before. Not as far as were going. It wont happen again. 

    Youre right about that. Please leave the ship at once, Mr. Green. 

    Yes, maam. When shall I report back for launch?

    You misunderstand. Youre fired.

    He stared at her a moment, then struggled to his feet. He staggered out of the galley, bumping into several transport bins as he made his way down the passage, and again as he returned. Commander Ladd, maam? Theres something I have to tell you. 

    No, there isnt. Now get off my ship. 

    She escorted him to the airlock, personally secured his helmet, and made sure the guards knew Green was not allowed back on Endurance.

    She met no other obstacles on her way to the bridge, where the man she intended to see was waiting. Frank Williams grinned and rose from his seat. He also wore the blue working uniform, but he had removed his jacket.

    He opened his arms for a hug. She shook her head. Sorry, Skipper, you work for me now. Hugs fall into the category of inappropriate touch. She squeezed his shoulder and gripped his hand in a firm handshake.

    Even between friends? He sighed. A pity. Welcome aboard, Boss.

    I like the sound of that. 

    Williams smiled down at her. Youve earned it. He was a good deal taller than Ruby, but few adults werent. He was also a little older, mid-thirties now. His shaggy brown hair was beginning to gray around the temples, but his blue eyes had lost none of their mischievous sparkle. He glanced out the viewing port. Its a beautiful day on the Moon.

    She smiled in spite of her weariness. Its always a beautiful day on the Moon, Skipper. Thisll sound strange, but I feel like I can breathe again. But its 0200 in Seattle, so excuse me if Im not too bright-eyed.

    You shouldve slept on the shuttle.

    I tried, but . . . She shook her head.

    Not sick, were you?

    Not much. Just excited, I think. I havent been off the rock in five years!

    Cutting it a little close, though. We launch tomorrow I was afraid we might have to leave without you.

    I was a little worried myself, but the bean-counters had to balance the books before theyd let me go. How do things look? They both sat, facing the forward viewing port. They had a glorious view of the bright moonscape against the black of space.

    Excellent. I can hardly wait to take this ship out. He beamed. No more puny orbit missions. Were going deep this time. We get to kiss the sky!

    You could have gone before this.

    Not until they let you go, too. SCEI needs to make it right.

    What, you think Wesley James is going to apologize? 

        Williams shrugged and didnt answer. But just being with him improved Rubys attitude. Theyd survived the Chickering expedition together. He knew better than anyone what that ordeal had cost her, but he also knew how to cheer her up. 

    Heres the expedition roster. He brought up the list:

 

        Ladd, R.: Expedition Commander

        Williams, F.: Captain

        Wild, P.: First Officer

        Nguyen, B.: Second Officer; Navigator

        Crean, J.: Mission Specialist (Phys.)

        Curley, A.: Mission Specialist (Geol.)

        Eyestone, J.: Mission Specialist (Rob.)

        Mack, Y.: Mission Specialist (Biol., Med.)

        Gunner, H.: Documentarian

        Green, L.: Cook

        Keith, L.: Administrator

        Nielson, C.: Engineer

 

    A party of twelve? Funny Ruby had been thinking eleven. She could put faces to most of the names on the list. She had selected the captain and first officer herself, and trusted Williams to put together a solid crew. She also knew half the science staff already, and accepted their recommendations for the others.

    Nielson, huh? Are you sure about that?

    Best engineer in the Corps, the Skipper replied.

    No question. But he doesnt play well with others, and this is a long trip.

    Williams chuckled. Exactly long trip. Id rather have the most skilled engineer than the most charming. And he knows you; Ill think hell behave.

    I hope so.

    Ive met with just about everyone in the past few days, Williams said. You know Wild better than I do whats he like?

    Hes a rock. Id trust him with my life and that of my children, if I had any. She flicked her eyebrows up. There was a time I had my doubts about you, Skipper, but never about Wild. Hell be a good First Officer.

     There was a bit of a problem with the cook.

    Ruby snorted. Tell me about it!

    He frowned. You heard already?

    She hesitated. Maybe not. What was your problem?

    I had somebody all lined up, very experienced. She was supposed to meet us here a week ago. The day before she was scheduled to leave for Upham, she fell down some steps in front of her house and tore up the ligaments in her knee. He shook his head and grinned with disbelief. Can you imagine if we had to cancel the mission because we didnt have a cook? 

    The role isnt exactly mission-critical, Ruby said. Most of the food is heat-and-serve.

    Regulations, though. We have to have someone with the right permits. It worked out, anyway I was able to hire one of the cooks at the spaceport, a guy named Lloyd Green. He comes highly recommended. 

    Ruby felt a pang of doubt. Now her count was down to ten. Yeah, about that I just fired him.

    You what? But we leave tomorrow! Theres no time to find another.

    Then we wont find another.

    Wholl do the cooking, then?

    Ruby shrugged. I will, if necessary. Its not that hard. 

    But we have to have someone with the right permits!

    Funny thing. She held up her SkyComm and opened a document. Is there still a problem?

    I guess not. What are you doing with a food handlers permit?

    You wouldnt believe all the permits and certificates I have.

    Actually, I would. Ready for anything, thats you. But where do you find the time?

    I have no life. And every time I get fed up with the suits at SCEI, I earn or renew another certificate. It keeps me sane and out of trouble.

    Williams shook his head. So you really just boarded the ship and fired the cook?

    Ruby patted his shoulder. Green wasnt going to work. He was dead drunk in the galley, and were not even underway. Said he was nervous about the trip.

    Thats only natural.

    She frowned. You say he came highly recommended. What missions has he been on?

    None. He was cooking here at the port for the last month. Before that, he worked in several restaurants planetside.

    She groaned and leaned back. Well, no wonder he was nervous. Still, its just as well, if he was that scared.

    You fired him because he was scared?

    No. Its crazy not to be. You and I both know this kind of work can get you killed. She sighed. Im sorry. I should have talked to you first.

    He shook his head. No, Ill back you on this one. Youre the Boss. But why did you fire him, then?

    Because he lacked discipline.

    Come on, were not military, you know.

    He wasted an entire bottle of tequila. Our tequila, from the supplies, and not that synthetic rotgut, either. Shared out in a months time, it could have been bottled morale. But worse than that, he lacked optimism.

    Williams snorted a laugh. Optimism? What, believe hard enough and everything will work out fine?

    Believe it, and then do everything in your power to see that it does. Make a plan that looks as far ahead as possible. Control what you can, and have a contingency for what you cant.

    Williams grinned. Disciplined optimism. Thats how youll run this show, isnt it?

    You know I will. Green couldnt even organize his supplies. In the long run, were better off without him. Now, whos this Gunner?

    I thought you knew. The name seems familiar, but I didnt hire him. Why do we need a documentarian? I can tell you now, we dont have room for a whole camera crew.

    Ruby gazed at the name on the roster, and thought back to her meetings with the money people. That was the extra person. They had an idea for making a profit even if the expedition failed. But this was beyond anything shed imagined.

    I might know, she said. I just hope Im wrong.

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Jim Darcy wrote 51 days ago

Hi Karen, this is an emminently readable story that wizzes along and pulls the reader along with it. Just the kind of thing I would take on my hols. Always admired people who can pull off a good space opera without losing me in the technobabble. You have made it possible by focussing on the human element but not losing the magnificent background of space itself. Well done :)

Wussyboy wrote 74 days ago

Hi Karen, just dropping in to give you that comment I promised. I've read your first chapter, and after initial trepidation (sci-fi is not my genre and I switched off as soon as I got to the ship's schematics) I have to say I really enjoyed it. Okay, the thing about the cook being fired is a bit overdone imho, but it is funny and you demonstrate a real flair for crisp dialogue throughout. Ruby is an edgy, highly disciplned expedition commander - not very likeable, though in her job that's to be expected and she does have the respect of her captain, and he knows how to 'cheer her up', so that's good. I would like to know where she 'is', in time and space, in the first paras, and I would consider another word for 'bounded', since she's just groggily awoke after a very poor sleep.
Otherwise, very entertaining and I'll read on as time allows. 5 stars!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

(why not contact other sci-fi humorists like J.Owen, 'My Pet Human', Roman Marek 'The Ultimate Inferior Beings' and Adam Clark, 'Grigor the Destructionator'.)

M. E. Harrow wrote 81 days ago

Great story-telling Karen. I would buy this book in an instant. The details in the first chapter regarding magnetic fields to protect the people on board makes space travel seem possible for the human race (yes I like a good conspiracy theory).
To rebutt jsault2003: It is the type of book that needs to linger on the details - the characters are in for a long trip and the writing style suits that premise perfectly. I don't want you to "get on with the mission" I want to immerse myself in the mission, it's the details that allow me to do this. Well done.

Ron Mitchell wrote 103 days ago

This was very interesting and well written. I like your writing style. Although I didn't have the time to read the whole book at this time, I am intrigued by your plot and development of characters. I plan to keep it on my watchlist so I can finish it at a later date. Good job and best of luck.

jsault2003 wrote 170 days ago

Chapter 4.

I think you’re spending too much time with the small details (it’s almost like small talk between two people just getting to know each other). This is bogging the story down. I find myself saying, “Get on with the mission.”

Good job ending Chapter 4 with the stowaway, but it took some time to get to it. Some of the extensive details you have are causing a drag on the storyline progression. I suggest cutting out some details.

Chapter 5.
Okay, so it’s not until Chapter 5 that the reader finds out why the whole episode at the beginning with the cook becomes clear. To explain the stowaway. I still think some condensing is needed.

The introduction of additional conflict in the storyline with Mr. Keith having been left stranded makes the progression of the story more appealing. A few indications of additional line editing needed in Chapter 5, but overall, an exercise in good writing techniques.

jsault2003 wrote 184 days ago

I see very developed writing skills by the way your sentences are constructed.

The view Ruby’d had… (‘d) not needed.

…her way to the forward section, where her… (,) remove.

She held up her SkyComm and opened a document. “Is there still (a) problem?”

The linear progression of the plot is great and easy to follow. I think you should give some consideration as to whether or not the introductions and explanations of projects during the second chapter cause the story to drag somewhat. That is too much information for the reader to congest and keep up with at one time, especially with so many characters. I suggest spreading out these explanations between ongoing occurrences aboard ship.

She had an eventful early career, and (had) been part….

Alternate between the use of a pronoun and the character’s name: (Holden) he. Ruby(she).

Use a little friction between characters to draw the reader into the story. They don’t all have to like each other; they’re professionals and don’t allow their feelings to interfere with their abilities to do their jobs. This is a technique I used in the first chapter of my manuscript, and from the comments I’ve gotten from writers on this site, they liked the technique.

Six men, including Commander Chickering, had died during an assault…are you sure you don’t want to use expedition here since an “assault” is an attack on something?

The pace of Chapter Three improves the continuity of the story.

You do a really good job as far as character development. I think that will go a long way in endearing the protagonist to the readers.

There is a need for some line editing, but the progression of the storyline is solid.

Putting this on my WL and giving it four stars.

If you have the opportunity, I hope you’re able to provide some feedback on my project.
Jsault2003, author of Battle against the Beast

http://www.authonomy.com/books/38506/battle-against-the-beast/read-book/#chapter

Bea Sinclair wrote 191 days ago

Great story, rich and diverse characters. Backed and starred.
Bea

Rachael Cox wrote 194 days ago

This is a great story with strong characters and relationship development. I was really pulled into the human story of a crew getting used one another and to the mission ahead. You introduce and describe your settings and characters very well which made it easy for me to read and visualize. Beautifully written and most engaging.
Many stars and best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Ariom Dahl wrote 206 days ago

Finished it! Great story; I could see it all as I read. Excellent stuff.

mselan79 wrote 207 days ago

You dialog is sharp, and the way you depict the setting, this could easily be the launching of a nautical vessel, instead of spaceship. I'm surprised this is only on one bookshelf! It must be because you're busy promoting your other novel. Backed. :)

Pete A wrote 237 days ago

Endurance

I looked forward to reading into this Karen. It’s immediately obvious that this is Solar system bound Sc-fi, so we are in Clarkean territory and I’m expecting a similar sort of adventure to unfold.

Short pitch: tells it all, yet succinct.

Long pitch: I felt this to be a little too long. The three paragraphs almost start to make it sound like three different stories – it isn’t, but I would try to re-focus this into one powerful message. It struck me this was primarily a story of redemption.

On your use of language: I cannot find anything to complain about at all.

Style: Sometimes I thought there was just a little too much dialogue. It had a tendency to descend into daily chatter and I thought maybe readers would end up skipping such bits. There were only one or two places where the dreaded Sci-fi techno bits intruded. I’m thinking here of the asteroid collision frequency speech. That, for example, would benefit from being more of a joke – it would probably fit in better. And there is that blatant bit of techno dumping about moon concrete.

Also, I was struck by what I thought was excessive domestic stuff. This captain does a lot of talking about food and food preparation, and she does a lot of cooking as well. Here I’m thinking of the blueberry muffins (C4). What is all that domestic goddess stuff about?

Nice to see a NW reference (Tlinget) but who would know about this?

Structure: The one thing I did have a problem with was the beginning. I recognise that the entire piece is modelled on the famous Endurance voyage but you have put this into a future space mission and the differences are just so big. There is obviously plenty of scope for such a story to be told. I certainly think you can tell it. But, for me, the attraction of Clarkean type SF is the inspiration and adherence to known science.

One very important aspect of that concerns the development of such trips. I don’t know your experience but in general they take years to prepare. I see why you want/need your female character to put her stamp of authority on the crew right from the beginning but the setting just irked me. Others might not find it so but you have set the thing only a relatively short time into the future. I cannot foresee any funding group being happy with a project that is not completely tied down well in advance. So no, I could not believe the commander turning up and ‘firing the cook’. It screams anachronism. Space travel is real. It exists now, and we know how it’s done. So I cannot even begin to accept a ‘drunken cook’ as a character in a solar system space exploration.

Maybe you could find a similar but less unlikely situation into which you could insert the commander and all the subsequent shenanigans, in order to make this point.

Were you hungry when you wrote the blueberry muffins line? Heh heh

Bill Scott wrote 240 days ago

Hello Karen,
Sci Fi is not my usual genre to read, but I live in Seattle (cap hill), so I stopped in to have a look. I found this quite enjoyable and well written. LOVE the opening line. I could easily visualize things as they were happening. Overall, I think this is very engaging and a great start. I always make notes where I have questions, or when I stumble. Your work seems fairly polished so there wasn't much. But if there is even one nugget that my help you, then that's great.
----
1
You might re-read this passage -- "She crashed . . . fried egg" I think it was supposed to be a play on the fact that moon time and Seattle time we're different. I had to read it four times to figure out what it meant and I'm still not sure. AH HA! I'm reading it yet again now it's much more clear to me. It would have been immediately clear, I think, if the passage would have directly followed ". . . 0700. breakfast time."
I almost erased all this but since I stumbled I figured it was worth you knowing. You could easily rearrange the order of the sentences if you deemed it necessary.

"The blazing sun precluded even a glimpse o the earth." -- I thought she was on the dark side of the moon? Again I don't read much sci fi

It was unclear who Ladd was talking to here. Was someone with her was she speaking into something. "How long do you estimate . . ."

2

Is that a true fact about asteroids, They only collide every million years. If so, it's pretty cool and a good bit of useless knowledge for me to store away. :)

Wesley James -- The first name may make too many people recall Wesley Crusher of Star Trek

"there is no reason to send this many humans into space" The use of the term human instead of people made question if the person issuing it is human. If there are no non humans later on (other than robots) it might be an odd phrase. again, I'm no expert on sci fi

Harassed- looking --- not sure I know what that looks like.



Enjoyed this very much,

Bill
HAKTAW HEART

ps check out the hugo house in Seattle if you haven't already (hugohouse dot org)

jlbwye wrote 254 days ago

Endurance. A dramatic cover. Not being a sci-fi fan, I'm not drawn in by your pitches, but I'm intrigued by the dedication!

Ch.1. A matter of fact beginning, and some detailed space-talk technicalities.
You establish Ruby's disciplined optimistic side immediately, but I like the touch of humour with the cook.
Once again, your writing is impeccable, and you manage to make me want to read on, even though the environment is not my scene.

Ch.2. I have nothing to say, except that you are obviously in command of your subject, and your style reflects the necessary orderliness of a ship shape space ship with a commander in control, but showing one or two glimpses of human-ness.

Ch.3. A refreshing change of VP. A relief, for Gunner is more human, and you have put a few pieces of Ruby's past into the jigsaw in skilful fashion. But everything is so clinical, and a little bit slow moving. You introduce a whiff of a possible problem, but I wonder if current day readers would appreciate your attention to detail, and the leisurely way you progress your story.

Ch.4. You've done it again - made me want to read on. But I've sooo many other reads to do.

You certainly know how to write, Karen. I could find no nits to pick. This is a very good, well written book. I guess I'm not more enthusiastic because it is just not my kind of story.
Jane. (Breath of Africa)

Meg Wearing wrote 255 days ago

A very engaging tale - well-written plus the dialogue flows smoothly. The technical jargon is impressive, but not overwhelming like a Crichton novel. The personal descriptions are also good. The only criticism I have is that I found the conversation about the characteristics of the fired cook a bit stilted. It seems a woman in her position would have just said I fired him because he was drunk and let it go at that. All in all a very enjoyable read.

Meg Wearing

junetee wrote 256 days ago

Great pitch. Excellent storyline.
I didn't have much time to read beyond the first two chapters but I thoroughly enjoyed what I read and wish I could have read more - maybe later.
I was impressed with the beginning of both chapters. The quotes really work well.
The beginning is great, and although I wondered if I would enjoy this book because the story didn't attract my attention, I continued to read on, comfortably and with great interest and enjoyment.
Your writing skills are excellent. Your characters introduced with great ease.
Good luck with this Karen. 6 stars
Junetee (Four Corners)
) Don't forget to read my updated version of 'Four Corners.' I'd love to read your comments and if you like it, your backing again.)

elmo2 wrote 257 days ago

Always interesting how one starts a tale, one is to start with a bang, in the middle of the drama so to speak, and work either backward or forward from there, filling in with details, another is to start at the ground with brick one and methodically build an edifice, i think "Endurance" is of the latter type, and i think it is fitting since this is a story about an expedition, and all expeditions start with the first step, even if it is one in lesser earth gravity; I read the first seven chapters, i liked the story and will back it, found the writing clear and impeccable (something i wish i could do), there are some questions i have about dates, would i expect the world, technichal and social, to look this way at the time of the expediition, i am not sure, but such questions may also read other readers on and in a way get them further into the story. i see a love story devloping here. Iif i have a chance i will skp ahead and see where events lead and how the upcoming disaster compares with the early shakleton event (though i will have to read a summary so i can - the fact that i might do that says that your story is interesting enough to make me do homework, haha)

Jacoba wrote 261 days ago

Hi Karen,
I read the first four chapters and enjoyed this. I'm not the biggest sci fi fan but I liked the spirit of adventure you've injected into your story. I like the way you have taken a true story of adventure and moulded it into a fictional account.
Ruby is a self assured MC who knows her own mind, and makes for a believable commanding officer. All the rest of the crew come into their own as you read on. You've done a great job on the characterisations of each. This can be hard to pull off when you are introducing so many characters at once. But I didn't feel lost.
Gunner has a nice charm about him, its good to have this kind of character who is an outsider and an observer, his insight will add an extra dimension to the space crew antics.
I really enjoyed the space basketball game in chapter four, I could see how that would prove very difficult and would be humourous to watch.
You have authentically portrayed space travel and it all seemed believable to me. I liked the sail on the ship just like the old explorers would have had.
Overall this is a well crafted and well written story, though from you Karen I would expect nothing less, judging from your other books.
I only noted down a few minor nit picks, and I had to look hard to find those, hope it is somewhat useful to you,
All the best with this new offering, I have watchlisted you and will put you on my shelf in the coming weeks for a stint.
Cheers Jacoba

Found something, in chapter three. I've been reading lately in an editing book, that with 'had' once its been established at the beginning of the paragraph you don't need to use it again.
So in the first paragraph you could omit it from these two sentences:
He looked up her history as soon...
She'd had an eventful early career, and already been...

I'd also crop some of the usage of 'that'
as in this sentence: ...slacks hinted her legs were equally toned.

Chapter four

This seemed a little wordy, perhaps "I'm glad we get to pass it."

Just wondering with the em dash. I don't think you need a space between the words. ( a very minor nitpcick)

M. A. McRae. wrote 262 days ago

Carefully thought out background, well fleshed out MC in Ruby, and a good story. Backed and recommended.

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