Tales for Children

Chirg crit

These are great stories, Brainy Brian could easily be a small stand alone series.
There was only one little part the jolted my reading and that was the mention of stress in the first story. I would question whether stress is something a young child would relate too.
I think the style you use carries the stories brilliantly, an impressive set of stories
Rated highly to match my enjoyment
Ian

I gave it 6 stars

This comment is to boost Tales for Children ahead. Its one of my favourite books

Brilliant! What wonderful stories for children, I think it would be wonderful if these were accompanied by illustrations. Well done, easy reading, amazing as everyday children's bedtime stories. Well done. Good Luck with these. Rating high stars!

Blessings Clare Be The Human Sunshine, if possible could you please return the comment/ rating on my book.

Wow. I have to honest, the first story brought a joyful tear and smile. Well done and will keep reading. hope its published cos would love to give it my grandchildren...and thats only after the first story.
Pat

I am leaving you seven stars for this interesting children's story. I have rated seven stars

Isoje David

Animals In Paradise

Marvelous stories for children! It would be so much fun to see them illustrated in a book :-) I really love any stories having animals in them and I guess I was most touched by Brian's rescue of the lamb (I love the rhymes you work into your stories) and Spike the hedgehog and his friend Squeak. But I also especially liked Granny (probably because I'm a granny) and the play on words between Mary and Granny (poor Windy Lindy!). I hope you get your lovely little tales published and wish you the very best! :-) Pat
p.s. a bunch of stars!

Children will love this collection of charming little tales. They also seem just right for parents to read to them as bedtime stories. Many stars!

This is a charming collection of tales. Brainy Brian's adventures made me laugh (you've done a great job with the little dittys at the end of each of his tales) - it goes to show that children's stories are not just for children but also those who continue to embrace their inner child. Do you have any illustrations for them yet? - I admit, I had fun imagining these tales with pictures.

The language you have used is well aimed for your specified target audiences and was very easy to read.

I congratulate you on this work and wish youall the best with it. Thank you for pointing it out to me,

Laura.

Mickey dug up childhood memory. Like him, I used to eat left over burger then sick after. That's on example to support my previous comment that this book bring out the child in me. Although its children book, its good for adults too

Brian,

I read the first two of your children's stories. The first, The Pink Ribbon was endearing. The second one with the animals put on my editor's eyes in a bit of a hurry... smiling... You might count your meters for the sing-song poetry and then you will have a much more charming read. (Example: First line seven beats, second line same, or very close. And throughout the piece. The meter lengths can vary, but they have to match to have a nice rhythm.)

I didn't realize that it was in rhyme until I was about seven or eight stanzas in and it really should be much more apparant out the gate. Pun intended. I'll return to read more as it was quite relaxing! I wish you well!

Audrey Semprun
The Back Track Conspiracies

Hello

What wonderful stories. They are enjoyable and do have a place for both the young and the old. I love how you tied them to the different age groups. The writer is clear and the descriptions are perfect for the age group you wish this to be for. I almost wonder if there is a tiny bit of truth in these. :-)

Good luck with these. A brilliant tribute. I will back this.

Thanks for sharing
Jennifer Killby - The Legend of the Travelers

These are lovely, imaginative little stories for children. I'm sure lots of children will love listening them read aloud at bedtime. At times there is a little repetition of vocab, but this can easily be sorted out if you feel the need. The rhyming lines of the second chapter appear a little long to me. It's a good idea to read them out loud to hear what they sound like. Sometimes it's just a question of changing words around or omitting a few to make it read better.
But good luck with these. You have an excellent cause.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

This is really cute. I love this first story. It is so special and well developed.
Your style is very wonderful and the way you tell these tales is easy to read.
The title itself is wonderful. The pitch is also very good.
best wishes with this.
Grand work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Dear Brian,

Thank you for inviting me to read Tales for Children. You have a delightful collection of children's stories here, and I couldn't help wondering - have you found an illustrator for them? I could imagine so many lovely pictures as I read, and children of the age group you're writing for do so love looking at pictures. The two rubber ducks tied together by a knotty ribbon would make for some charming illustrations, and the McCoo cows would be interesting - you could even leave them for the children to colour in as they're being read to.

I'm sure many children - and adults too - will enjoy your Tales for Children. Highly starred with my very best wishes,

Annette

I enjoyed a number of these stories. I don't claim to be an expert on children's fiction, but I liked the way these are written, they're neither too long for children to lose interest nor t too 'childlike' to put off an adult reader. They're also very imaginative, they show that the writer has put some thought into what he's doing. Children's fiction, I imagine, is like all fiction: to do it well requires care and attention to the basics: plot, characterisation and a sense of place.All of these are well handled in these stories. Highly starred.

Tales for Children.
By Brian G. Chambers.

A lovely compilation of children’s story’s.
I quite enjoyed them myself, never mind the child.
Children’s books of short stories appear to be the norm at the moment…why not?
Kiddies of an early age can soon lose interest if a story is too long.
Your stories are ideally at the right length to avoid this.
Of course they are very good as well and will keep many a child occupied and wanting more of the same.
I’ve given your book a high star rating for now.
Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

What gorgeous little stories these are, Brian! An absolute delight and so easy to read as you've cleverly arranged them in digestible little pieces! Joyful little tales for adults who still have the child in them, and young children will love them. This book deserves publication. I have backed it and rated it 6 stars. Well done! Natalie (The Diary of John Crow)

Dear Brian
Thank you so much for your delghtful book of children's talrs.
I'm not going to discuss grammar much because a bit of artisric leeway can go far.
If I may suggest when you do publish to put stories with same characters under one name,but keep the ch names as is.
Some of these stories are long enough to even be published on their own: Spike and Squeek,Brainy Brian, Granny M. which is a must for grandparents and -children. Our favourite character is Tommy and the horse with the wooden shoes. We still have to complete Granny Martha and the taser gun.
Question. In this story we wonder if the sentence should read, "Tommy had been right about Anderson." or Geordie? Also ch 17,par 2 capital for collie's name Lindy
Your book is delightful and highly starred, remaining on my wl. Thank you for a lovely book! It will be on my shelf soon. I' ll keep you up to dat.
Kindest regards .If you have a moment to read,comment and possibly rate I'd be most grateful
Maretha/African Adventures of Flame,Family,Furry and Feathered Friends

Hi Brian, this is a charming book, really lovely and heartwarming highly Stared, Karen. Faking it in France.

Without patronising children, their names written all over stories in this book. Actually, it resurrected the child in me. The paragraphs are the right size and font too.

I particularly enjoyed Daisy

Hello Brian
book- Tales for children-

Read 16 chapters of this charming and delightful children's book0-
Enjoyed the innocent style that will certainly capture the hearts of all young children
in it's target market-
Cover will certainly capture the attention of Mothers as they search for children's books-

A definite winner in it's genre-

tom bye
book- from hugs to kisses-
please glance at mine, as Stephen grows up in Dublin in the 40s- thanks -Brian

Hi there Brian,

you suggested a read swap so here are my comments on the first three chapters.

These stories are very sweet. I especially liked the first one. The ending was very moving and unexpected. Perhaps rather than phoning the uncle you could have a scene with the grandmother returning the ducks to her brother, this would be even more poignant.

The third story was pretty atmospheric with the snow and the Christmas lights, I liked that a lot. Did this really happen to you? Would chewing gum really have helped the tires?

My only reservation is that I think at times the language could be a little difficult for the target audience and the stories are probably a bit too long. Take a look at similar published books and consider the amount of text typically used.

Here are my close comments on the chapter, please feel free to ignore them if you disagree.

Ch 1
Then they started to float along the garden towards the ditch which ran along the side of the garden.
-garden twice is jarring

flash flood
– would 3-7 year old know what this is?

Possibly they would never BE seen again.

Seashells
-one word

Ch2
“You are so right dear Daisy, on the rope I can chew. I know I can do it, I’LL CHEW IT RIGHT THROUGH.”
-think this works better, "can do" didn’t make much sense

So they decided that after Daisy came back from the dairy next day, nanny goat would chew through the rope, then they’d be away.

The following day when farmer Brown had tied the gate and went away for the day, nanny goat bit through the rope, and they were away.
-delete this first line as it gives the same info as the second and slows down the story

“How nice to meet you, Dearie, and you, Little Dawn,” said the ewe.
-line doesn’t work as the rhythm is wrong and you can’t rhyme two words that sound the same

They kept their promise, and the gate STAYED tied. AND the farmer was pleased that Daisy HADN’T LIED
-better?

Ch 3
grandmother introduced her eight year OLD grandson

stranded on the mountain, Grandma?”
-comma; always before the name of the person being addressed

He knew that he would not be allowed to chew gum himself, as children may swallow it and choke
-most kids I know are allowed to chew gum, sounds a bit preachy

Excellent work with a very noble cause in mind.
Best of luck to you Brian.

Benedict

Brian, you asked me to take a look at some of your stories. I've read The Pink Ribbon and wanted to go ahead and comment. My kids are in the age group you specified for this story, so I am fairly well versed in stories of this nature. The storyline itself reminds me a little of The Fantastical Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, except that we do not journey very far with the little lost ducks. While Sally finding the ducks years later while vacationing with her own grandchildren is touching, I feel it may be lost on your intended audience. That isn't to say that the ending should be changed, maybe just include a little more of the ducks' journey before we arrive in Majorca with Grandma Sally. Some of the story could be simplified a little, especially the explanation of how the children came to have the ducks and Sally's comforter. As an American, I was not familiar with the word 'comforter' in this context and know my children aren't either. I see this appealing to the younger half of your stated age group (at least based on my own children), so the simpler and more rhythmic the prose, the better. The portion of dialogue between Sally and her mother seemed a little unrealistic. Sally's words seemed to come from an older child than five, while her mother's response felt like that of a stranger rather than the mother of a little girl who is distraught over her missing comforter.

Overall a charming little story.
Kate

Your stories are adorable! I love your ideas and they way they seem so real. One question though, what age are you pitching to? I guess the illustrations would have a huge impact on who you are aiming the stories to. I wish you every success and would love to read more when you add new chapters.

Brian, Your stories are very cute!
I like the combination of prose and poetry!
I love reading children's books that are set to rhyme scheme, it makes them easy to sing!
Great work!
Mindy
The Wishing Place
(If you get a chance to take a look I'd appreciate it!)

Hi Brian,
I just finished your first story and what memories it brings back! When my daughter was little she had a little doll that was her baby - which she called "Baby". Baby had silky hair and my daugher would rub the hair on her cheek when she was tired. When she was 3, baby took a little vacation without us and my daughter was inconsolable. We went to the store and bought the exact same doll, but she was new and had yarn hair instead of silky hair. All was fine until bedtime when she rubbed the hair on her cheek, looked at the dool and said - "this is not my Baby." Then once again cried herself to sleep. Luckily, a very kind, very sympathetic hotel concierge mailed Baby back to us when she was found!
This story is one every parent can relate to, so even though it is written for children, it will touch many!
I look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place
(If you get a chance to take a look I'd appreciate it!)

Dear Brian, what a charming book I hope it's in print by the time my gran kids arrive, this would be lovely collection of stories to cuddle up with. Made me smile remembering my own rubber duck Monty!!
All the best Karen Faking it in France.

A great collection of children's stories. You use just the right style and level of vocabulary for the target audience. The rhyming is excellent, too. Great stuff!
Emma

I agree, these are a wonderful collection of children's stories, short and easy to imagine, especially with some illustrations to add colour to them. I also loved that they are written differently to match the characters being portrayed, like in the 2nd story. It got stuck in my head for a bit there and found myself thinking in reverse like Yoda lol.
It's well written with simple vocabulary for this age group and would do well if it got published right.

Sorry it's taken me forever to get to the swap, but well, here I am.
Besides that, I've rated it highly and all the best with it.

Edwin
The First Oath

Aww, I've just read The Pink Ribbon.
I really really loved it, I like the way you have broken the paragraphs up.
I am going to recommend it to my partner, get him to red it
I am also going to read it to his 5year old niece, and the rest of them
Ill read more later on :D
I really did enjoy reading them, thanks for inviting me and im glad you did.
6 stars :D
I've backed it too!!
Ellen Michelle

Aw, this is a lovely collection of stories for children - I particularly like the Pink Ribbon story but they are all well-written with a touch of gentle humour and nice flow. I kept imaginging little illustrations that would go nicely with them - I enjoyed reading them very much.
Melissa

i dont know how you are going to layout the book when you have to print it...
but very touching and well writen on dialogues.
i havent read a book at all when i was a child but however i did watch lots of cartoon...
Have you tried to send your book to TV production for children...?
there is chance that you could get noticed...it cost nothing to try and send your manuscript...
I have rated 5*...
all the best
Olga13

This is a sensitive read for children, in that, your characters have purpose and meaning. You showed emotion which is something that many children's books do not do. I hope you get a good illustrator to enhance the story's appeal. Best of luck with your project. I gave you high stars.

Hi Brian,
I read a few chapters and liked your stories a lot. I found you have a strong, yet gentle voice which is suited for your targeted age-group, while a thread carrying a friendly sense of humour runs through your narrative which is not forced or overdone. At the same time there are little twists and turns which spice up every plot and you have a variety of themes, which will widen a child's horizon. Thank you for asking me to read this, I really liked it. Ame

Hi Brian, I have just cleared all my books from Authonomy and posted a new work, Hellion 2. There are issues within this work that I am most anxious to get right. Would you please take a look and let me know if there is anything that you feel might cause offence, regarding the holocaust.

many thanks

Cyrus

Oh what lovely stories! I really like this book and could see it as a 'mini series' for kids - like the little books you buy in sets. You have a real gift for story telling to children - how lovely for Tilly!

I read several stories and my favourite was Spike and Squeak - you have real humour in your stories which adds to the charm e.g. 'that sorted out the little fatty in the red waistcoat.'!! Lovely!

Well written and entertaining I would love to see these stories published. I will try and find some space on my shelf in the not too distant future! Highly starred.

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

OMG. What a great duck story with the best ending ever. It even made me cry. You sure are a great storyteller and a very good writer as well. I will read on. Lacy

This is a very touching endearing short story, the first one I just read. Sweet children's stories are wonderful and I think the child in all of us appreciates them. Very well written and easy to read.
Saerawrites

This is a very touching endearing short story, the first one I just read. Sweet children's stories are wonderful and I think the child in all of us appreciates them. Very well written and easy to read.
Saerawrites

I think these stories would have overall appeal, though also perfect for the different age groups they are written for. I would certainly read these stories to any child. Overall, they are very sweet.
I read a selection, and my two favourites were the delightfully rhyming ‘A Cow named Daisy’ and ‘The McCoos’. Great names, Jock and Dotty McSporran.
Highly starred and lots of luck with-it Brian.
Amelia
Mungai and the Goa Constrictor

Dear Brian,

TALES FOR CHILDREN – I’ve read a couple of your stories and here’s what I think.
As a child I did not read many books (sorry) and so I’m really not an expert on what children like or not like to read. Therefore, some or all of my comments may seem irrelevant. But then again, they are what they are, one man’s opinion only.

The Pink Ribbon (3-7yrs) – Beautiful story with a warm and feel-good ending. But mind it, that’s an adult speaking. Little Sally losing her comforter and rubber ducks to the rain and then finding them again after so many decades was a triumph for her 5-yr old self that still hopefully lived somewhere inside her. However, this chance discovery, which is nothing short of a small miracle, is best appreciated by us adults who can identify with Sally. The little ones for whom this is intended are more likely to enjoy Sally Duck and Charlie Duck’s crazy adventures as they brave the wild seas and tackle the mean sharks before finally finding their way back home. Therefore, while keeping the structure intact, you can certainly expand the story as there’s enough room to plug in the extra bit for the kids and ensure that this story reaches out to an audience across ages.

A Cow named Daisy (3-7yrs) – This one’s a masterpiece. The rebellious cow, the eager goat, the braying donkey, the dutiful sheepdog and the sarcastic hen; the rhyme and rhythm, and the funny images it painted in my mind kept me smiling throughout. This is very well written indeed, perfect for the intended audience. I can see it in hard glossy paper with some fantastic illustrations. Incidentally, both the pig and the sheepdog are named Sally.

Overall rating: 6 STARS !

Best regards,
AGC

I like all childrens books they are so diverse. I did the same for my grandchildren but I chose a chicken as my protagonist.
Already starred and waiting for a space on my shelf.
Worthy of the top table and the best of luck. JB. Woods (George Barrington Hunter)

Hi Brian, I have read a selection of your stories and really liked them. As an ex-teacher of children from 3-10 I can see how they would appeal to many ages, abilities and interests. Well done, Tina Cox. P.S. Feel free to take a look at my book 'Sanctuary' if you would like to. Completely different of course, from your own, but you may like what you see.

Hi Brian, I've randomly picked various stories and all are wonderfully detailed. These type of stories are a favourite of all ages, even over fifty, like me. They're perfect for bedtime stories and the children can relate to the storylines. Have you thought of artwork to go with them, then maybe you could put just a couple of stories into one book. This way the sky would be the limit for you as you've plenty to be working on. All I can say is very wll done. Will place on my WL for further reading. Thanks for sharing these with me.

Ruth2904
To Dream Again

Hi Brian, I quickly read the first four chapters. Chapter one makes me wonder what happened next.
Chapter 2 is an interesting story to teach discipline.
Chapter 3 and 4, I have to re-read at more leisure. (They have just turned the tv on in the self-serve restaurant where I use their internet access.
I have put your book on my shelf, and the rest.
I would appreciate if you could do the same for me, please.
More to come, next time.
Brigitte
You will dance again!

Hi Brian,
these are lovely, sweet stories. I agree with another critique that these might work better as individual story books with illustrations. If you do submit them to publishers separately, you'll need to do some hard editing. Keep the stories very pared down with just the essentials. I have three kids, so we're just at the end of the picture book phase with our youngest, have read lots of fantastic literature for this age range. It's worth taking a look at what's out there and learning from it. I'm sure you're doing this already, but in particular (for language purposes) I'd recommend Jez Alborough, Michael Rosen and Alan Ahlberg. There's lots that's good here, it just needs polishing.
Julia Donaldson wrote a lot of her children's books originally as songs which is why they are very well honed, with not an excess word in sight. But I appreciate that's very hard. But on the rhyming ones you could try this approach. Also just bought John Hegley's "Stanley's Stick" which is written beautifully (doesn't rhyme, but lots of alliteration and assonance), you might want to take a look at that too.
All the best,
Sharda.
If you have time, please look at mine in return...
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

Brian,

Anything that supports our amazing hospitals and especially children is always worth backing.

Well done and good luck,

Penny

done it on my WL...will get back tou sooner i have read it... all the best.olga13

Brian,
It was a jolly good time, hopping from story to story, each one uniquely different. The feats employed by your characters to overcome difficulty are sure to engage young readers. Certainly as a mature person, I find myself delighting over Grammy Myrtle's super taser, Spike and Squeak's jaunt around the world, and the chewing gum antidote to balding tires. Your narratives are simply laid out and easy to digest, your dialogue fun and to the point. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean