Book Jacket

 

rank 5457
word count 16157
date submitted 25.09.2011
date updated 09.11.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Religiou...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Departed Innocence

Raven Paramour

Lucifer wants nothing more than to wipe that smug look off God’s face and crown himself ruler of the universe.

 

The Archangel Michael is meddling in Lucifer’s affairs by trying to stop Heaven from being overthrown.With both the Order of the Dragon and a gun-toting Jesus determined to destroy him, Lucifer has to obliterate all those who dare to defy his will. Treachery is being conceived in the depths of Hell as some of Lucifer's closest allies plan to betray him.Could it be Marou who suffers from guilt and regret, as he longs to be reunited with his beloved Sophia? Or is it Beelzebub seeking redemption for his sins? Deviances on both sides shall strain delicate alliances devised by Lucifer and God. For every technicality, there is a loophole,and for every dead end, there is an escape. And Lucifer always has an ace up his sleeve.

 
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tags

, angels, anti-twilight, demons, heaven, hell, lucifer, satire, vampires, werewolves

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3 comments

 

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billysunday wrote 199 days ago

Finished the 2nd chapter and commend you on your imagination. I've heard of all of these other characters before-Horus, Dagba, Hades, etc. Like how you are incorporating other legends into your story. This was a very entertaining piece. The one thing I would change or leave out-and take this for what it's worth-is the mention of all of their physical characteristics such as their eye colors. Too many adjectives at once. You can spoon feed their characteristics in as the story unfolds. Great job and wish you luck. Dina from Halo of the Damned and The Last Degree

billysunday wrote 200 days ago

Read the first chapter and really love this! What an imagination! Can picture the whole kingdom, Lucifer, the concubines,etc. The way you ended it makes me want to read more. I'm confused about Lucifer's 2nd birthday? Am I missing something? Anyway, very original and am immensely enjoying. Will continue to read. Dina

KirkH wrote 205 days ago

A star studded cast of entities from hell, oh my. Just wondering if you ever made some referencess from the following sources, such as: The Screwtape letters by C.S. Lewis, or Goethe's Faust, or Frank Paretti's book This Present Darkness, or the movie Damn Yankess, or other movies where the devil is personified with attempts to overthrow heaven - again. It's a very used theme and it would help if you have some new "hook" in the story. If you know the Bible, then you know that Lucifer is already a condemned man due to the cross and nothing can change that - however he still has limited power on the earth until the end comes, and the judgement, etc. Do you want to make it more like a comedy or something serious and sinister, both ways will require good writing skills. I have no doubt that you have it, after reading chapter one. You have great potential and I'm backing that potential.
All the best
Kirk

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