In the War Zone

I will be adding more chapters as I am currently editing them.
Right now, I am not looking for precious shelf space, but for some opinions on the actual text and generally on the exciting question if there is a chance to revive the classical genre of the Gothic novel, which is a little out of fashion at the moment. Can the sublime and the mere terror still beat the supernatural and the outright horror?

J.F.

I didn't realize I had read your book earlier until I saw my comment. Well this time I read through chapter 8. I must say, I was cringing for the little girl. I'm glad I live in the 21st century!

Depite the formal voice and words, I was able to follow the story for the most part. I found the parts concerning Konrad the most enjoyable to read. I'm going to take a guess and say that Konrad becomes the figure that the scholar is investigating. If that is the case, I have no doubt that the story will come together nicely.

I take it the scholarly storyteller lives in the modern age because he's talking about computers. So with that, I'm wondering, do people really think and speak that formally today? I wonder if your story would flow better and be more readable to the average person if his part were written in a more common prose. I wishi you the best with this.

Dianna Lanser

I think this is definitely a book for the literary connoisseur rather than the person who just reads for entertainment. The style is very dense and scholarly. I felt I could follow the chapters about Konrad more easily but the researcher's chapters, while atmospheric, were impenetrable in places. The description of life in Konrad's time is pretty graphic. It has echoes of The Name of the Rose, but I'm not getting the same sense of mystery or undercurrents of subterfuge and menace. The researcher's goal isn't coming through either and I was surprised to find she is female as she comes across as quite masculine. I think there's a place for this genre, but I also think you need to get to the pivot points of the plot earlier and make the characters more accessible and easier to relate to. These are obscure characters in a little known historical context and you need to lighten it up and get people interested in them and their situation rather than just display a thorough knowledge of your subject. Although it has literary merit, I'm not sure a publisher would risk taking this on from a debut author in its present form.

J.F.

Maybe I’m not the person to be reviewing your book. Obviously, you are highly intelligent, and I am pretty much as average as they come. To tell the truth, I really struggled to understand the first and third chapters. The second chapter I liked. I especially thought your descriptions of the baby’s birth and the mother’s infection was very good.

I would agree with ole fish. Perhaps making shorter paragraphs and even shorter sentences would help us commoners have a better understanding and appreciation for the story. I think you need to search out readers with a higher I.Q. than mine! Your incredible vocabulary and knowledge of the era are to be commended!

Sincerely,
Dianna Lanser

Interesting.

I really like the detail in the research though. I like the descriptions of the birth gone wrong and the abscess incision. There is sort of a grotesque horror that is very appealing here.

I like the developing story of Konrad but I do not care too much for the first person narrative sections.

I suggest smaller paragraphs. It is hard to read a wall of text. Dialogue should be set off in its own paragraph.

I have not read much gothic stuff. I have a few chapters of 'the monk' I don't remember it to be dense reading like yours is here. I'm reminded a little bit of Foucoult's Pendulum.

I tried to read the first person narratives but I'm afraid I find it quite boring. The narrator I gather is retracing Han's steps in Vienna. Add another character, put some more back and forth. Add drama. Right now it reads very abstract and dense. I thought Gothics were supposed to thrill the reader.

My overall advice, focus on the story and less on your fine research. Konrad really does not have much motivation as it is. You tell his story from a a distant view. And he seems just be moved by the winds of fate. Give him a little more motivation and desire, give a little more character. Add more of his thoughts. His bad circumstances already make us care for him. But there is nothing about him personally that makes him alive as a character.

Chapter 2 could be organized to highlight drama and emotions. I suppose I am saying that your work could be a little more entertaining so to speak. Also not sure why you felt the need to ask the molestation scene in chap 4. It sort of came from nowhere really. And its effects does not resonate in the later chapters.

I think you should worry less about the viability of the gothic novel and more about penning a riveting tale.

I would read more of this mainly for Konrad. I find his life and times very interesting.

I will be adding more chapters as I am currently editing them.
Right now, I am not looking for precious shelf space, but for some opinions on the actual text and generally on the exciting question if there is a chance to revive the classical genre of the Gothic novel, which is a little out of fashion at the moment. Can the sublime and the mere terror still beat the supernatural and the outright horror?