Secrets We Keep

Hi Gail, I rated the book 6 stars. Great read. I only was going to read one chapter, but kept on reading until Chapter 8. As far as writing advice, I can think of none right now. Your writing is quick, descriptive and to the point. Romance Thrillers are certianly your genre to be writing in. I will read some more tomorrow. I don't usually read romance thrillers but I love this!

Best wishes,
Chipper Newman

Gail,

You are a wonderful writer, using your mastery of words to unfold a story that keeps the reader guessing. Yes indeed your characters have secrets: a cottage… a guilt-ridden man… a baby… an addiction. Somehow I get the feeling that normal-looking Nell may have a few secrets hidden in her past too.

I am most impressed with you gift of imagery and how it relates to your character’s surroundings and inner-workings. Here are a couple of my favorites:

In chapter one - “Here the naked earth thrust up toward the sky, forceful and primitive as the sea, reminding Nell of the wildness in her heart and the feelings she tried to ignore.”

In chapter two - “swirling snow flurries than unhooked his spirit from the flesh at last, blowing it free to find the next adventure.”

By the end of chapter four I have all kinds of questions and twenty-seven more chapters to find the answers. There’s no doubt in my mind that they will come to light in the most entertaining and surprising way. Six stars!

Dianna Lanser - Nothing But The Blood
http://www.authonomy.com/books/37204/nothing-but-the-blood/

Secrets we Keep - Is hugely compelling, intelligently and elegantly written, a poignant fast-paced page turner that grips from the first page until the last. I would have killed anyone who wrested this novel from my hands...It's compulsive, swift and riveting reading. Excellent characters who jump off the page, highly believable plotting with suspenseful pacing on each page.
Well done Kat xxx

Just finished chapter three. So far, this is everything I want to find in a book. I am hooked and dying to know how the story unfolds. The layers of character complexity help to keep this from being a one-dimensional mystery. Much better than those that tend to insult the intelligence of the reader. The idea of having a secret life of my own, the selfish expectations of those that claim to love us, those themes are all evident from the beginning. I am already thinking of the friends I would recommend this book to. So far, I think it'd be a great book club read.

And can I say how much I have come to appreciate polished writing? This shines!

Hi Gail, I think this is fabulous. Your pitch and opening chapter, with the promise of a secret life to explore, immediately grabbed my attention and made me want to read on. The dialogue was very natural, the descriptions vivid without being cumbersome and your characters - in particular Nell - had clear, strong voices. I really enjoyed your writing style, which was very smooth and with no jarring lines at all!

Best of luck with it.

Oktober

First off, love the descriptions. The overripe tomato, the gray worm, the red flannel robe, the baby powder. The details are both concrete and metaphorical, certainly poetic. Fresh and immediate details here, all senses represented-how things feel and smell. Very good job setting scenes.

Also love the immediate feel for the characters—yeah, she’s bland but it’s like I know her. She’s like every modern suburban (relatively wealthy) wife. Pilates, jogging, nervous activity. Something bothers her, she does something, anything to keep her mind occupied (but not necessarily on the problem at hand). She buries the stress in activity even though what she really wants is the comfort of something untarnished and familiar. She’s disillusioned, decayed in every-day non-stop drudgery. That sentiment strikes home with me because I’ve felt and seen it. The writing made it very easy to step into her even though I’m otherwise quite different from the character.

As far as mechanics go, you’ll want to add in some commas here and there and a few accents (like in décor).

I must confess, I kept reading because the characters were so beautifully drawn. I don’t like them. I wouldn’t want to meet them. I’ve probably met them hundreds of times and disliked them every one of those chance encounters. But they seem like real people. Flesh and blood and bone, breathing, crying, warts and all.

No plot yet, two chapters in, but the writing’s great and I’m still reading….

This is certainly an exciting opening with plenty of suspense for the reader. I liked the style of the writing and the imagery is strong. I will be reading on.

Kathryn

This is a great story, with great flow--I was able to read with ease and momentum. The only thing I felt lacking was some choppiness between the paragraphs where I felt you could have expanded the thoughts some. What helped me was physically putting myself in certain situations and living through the emotions. I then wrote them down as I felt them. Then I edited it back. Just a thought! Good job.

Gail
I was enthralled. I have just read Chapter one and am so curious like Nell about the reason of her mother's other home. Powerful writing, touching characterisation, believable plot in every way . I will read on and I'm placing it on my bookshelf.
Well done
Bridget
The Road from Makhonjwa

Hi Gail, I rated the book 6 stars. Great read. I only was going to read one chapter, but kept on reading until Chapter 8. As far as writing advice, I can think of none right now. Your writing is quick, descriptive and to the point. Romance Thrillers are certianly your genre to be writing in. I will read some more tomorrow. I don't usually read romance thrillers but I love this!

Best wishes,
Chipper Newman

Gail,

This is such a poignant story and you have told it with such an authentic touch. A difficult subject to tackle, but I believe you have carried it off very well. An intelligent piece. Only read a couple of chapters so far but will certainly return very shortly to you work.
On my watch list and plenty of stars for now.

regards

Cyrus - Hellion 2

Terrific start to the novel, Gail! You draw us in immediately - I want to read on! This should go far. It certainly deserves to if the rest of the book is anything like your first few chapters. Your narrative reads easily which is terribly important. Well done! I shall back this! Natalie (The Diary of John Crow)

Hello Gail-
book- secrets we keep-

got hooked by the pitch, as it;s a long time since i read a who dun-it.
appears to be all sort of intrigue awaiting the readers here-
After reading the first six chapters and speed reading some more- i can see that this is
shaping up to be a good romantic thriller- as they way- with plenty of meat along the way-
I like the way you pay attention to detail and lots of descriptive narrative as i turned the pages-
lines like dappled lavender clouds, do remain in the minds eye, Promises to get better later on, that's for sure-

tom bye
book-from hugs to kisses-
please read some of mine, if time, Gail thanks

Hey.
I read some of your book last week and I must of forgot to comment.
Sorry, i'm not a girl of many words.
I loved this book, I thought it was well written and I will be back later on to read more.
EllenMichelle :)
'A Model's Summer'

Hey.
I read some of your book last week and I must of forgot to comment.
Sorry, i'm not a girl of many words.
I loved this book, I thought it was well written and I will be back later on to read more.
EllenMichelle :)
'A Model's Summer'

Gail I have read your first 4 chapters and can't. Put the book down. You have the perfect touch of mystery and breathtaking scenery and captivating prose. I have already bonded with Nell and her mother ant to find out the mystery. It is also very clear that brigett also has a secret of her own. You have written just enough about their husbands to know the story has many twists and turns to come. I adore your expressive writing style
And give this book a definite 6 stars. Best of luck in publishing. Bless you. Joy (gods gracious gift

This isn't my usual type of book, but saying that i did enjoy what i read and made a nice change from my usual thing. Well written and good plot.

Everything about your work is intriguing, starting with your book title. All sort of things rushed to mind before I turn the pages. I enjoyed the guessing game. Then I turned the pages, I love the description "stretched as thin" . Your mind work wonderful. I hope my Jamaican accent isn't fake as Bridget

Gail,
I've just come across Secrets We Keep and was immediately drawn by the tile and book cover. The pitch drew me in and then once I read the opening few paragraphs I was completely hooked - partly by your obvious skill as a writer but also by your main character.
I was inside Nell's head and seeing what she was as she travelled towards the hospital. I love the rich detail and strong sense of scene.
Starred and backed. I hope you reach the top 5!
Best,
Melissa

Gail,
What a great premise for a story! Your short pitch says it all and as I read into Chapter 2 and met Winston and then Jake I was completely hooked. You have some nice hints about Nell's character and relationship with her husband and sister too. Your writing is very smooth - the dialogue is believable, the scenes are well set and your descriptions are vivid.
I had a couple of thoughts for you - nothing serious! - but I wondered why you opened with Nell lying on the bed and then recalling the day. Why not just open with the phone call from the hospital? And my only other thought was that the daughter sounded very young to me during the phone call - more 3rd grade maybe, than 5th.
I'm sure this story will do really well and I wish you all success. High stars!
Kate
The Licenser

The first couple of chapters I have read are intriguing and well written. This is a story of a normal loving family with old fashioned values whose lives are turned upside down when secrets start to reveal themselves. There is a good amount of background information on the family in chapter 2 so that the reader builds up the sense of how devastating the impact of their mother's secret life will be on them. We are all curious about secrets as long as they are other people's! I really enjoyed reading Secrets We Keep and I have put it on my watchlist to go back to at a later date because I want to find out what else is going to happen.

Kim (Pain)

Hello

You have a wonderful story here. It quickly grabs the reader and thrusts them into the world so masterfully created. I enjoyed reading the story and feel you have done such a good job with imagery and weaving it wit the action and thoughts of the characters.

Good Luck with this
Jennifer Killby - The Legend of the Travelers: Willow's Journey

Gail,

You are a wonderful writer, using your mastery of words to unfold a story that keeps the reader guessing. Yes indeed your characters have secrets: a cottage… a guilt-ridden man… a baby… an addiction. Somehow I get the feeling that normal-looking Nell may have a few secrets hidden in her past too.

I am most impressed with you gift of imagery and how it relates to your character’s surroundings and inner-workings. Here are a couple of my favorites:

In chapter one - “Here the naked earth thrust up toward the sky, forceful and primitive as the sea, reminding Nell of the wildness in her heart and the feelings she tried to ignore.”

In chapter two - “swirling snow flurries than unhooked his spirit from the flesh at last, blowing it free to find the next adventure.”

By the end of chapter four I have all kinds of questions and twenty-seven more chapters to find the answers. There’s no doubt in my mind that they will come to light in the most entertaining and surprising way. Six stars!

Dianna Lanser - Nothing But The Blood
http://www.authonomy.com/books/37204/nothing-but-the-blood/

Very nicely done. I realized after I read your message that I had asked to be part of the women's lit group and that's how you came across my book- apologies. Anyway I like what you've got here the pacing is nice and your descriptions and scenes are well done. I look forward to reading some more.

Hi Gail, this is a definite page turner, its fast paced and very easy to read and connect with the characters. My only point would be this; I'm not sure based on clothes in the closet and in the drawers would lead Nell to think her mother had lived a double life? It just seemed too soon to me, for this to become apparent?

Apart from that, I have happily highly starred and backed this book.

Thanks
Susan

your writing is smooth and you bring us in with such ease. a great book and well worth the read...
j

Secrets we Keep. I have had my eye on your book for some time, and now at last I've got to you. Your pitches are intriguing, and the title seems appropriate.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. Quite often, the old adage 'less is more' becomes appropriate. Your opening sentence could read - 'Nell lay still on the cloud of white chenille, afraid to release the nightmares that fluttered in her mind.' What do you think? Beginnings are the hardest part of a book, I think.

Unnecessary words which spoil the flow of your story might be searched and safely deleted - some, now, just, already, about, soon (Ch.2) apparently (Ch.3) almost.

Then your story races into top gear, and I'm carried along with it. You create urgency, worry and tension well, and your characters are coming alive.
You describe the scenery well. And that awful scene in the ICU - I can picture it clearly, and feel Nell's emotion.
'She was stretched as thin as the skin of an overripe tomato, ready to split at the slightest touch.' Wonderful words.
And a lovely rounded first chapter.

Ch.2. Her father grappling with his memory problems. You describe it so naturally, through dialogue and action.
'Then he was gone again, and there was nobody home inside.' And the swirling snow flurries unhooking his spirit... lovely imagery.

Ch.3. Bridget now, with her guilty past and a heart crazed with little cracks. I'm having to curb my impatience to learn what happens with Nell, and the information the strange man will disclose. ButI quickly become absorbed in Bridget's story.
You manage the changes of scene and viewpoint very well, titillating the reader's attention and revealing pieces of back story and developing your characters in professional fashion.

I really must stop, but you're staying on my watch list, maxi-starred, and I'll definitely be back to read more - eventually.

Thankyou for your interest in mine.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

Gail, you asked me to take a look at Secrets. I have only read chapter one so far, but wanted to go ahead and comment. This is very well written. Your descriptions come alive with color and emotion. I can easily feel what Nell is feeling as she first learns her mom is in the hospital, then sees her laying there connected to machines, then discovers her secret lake house. There is nothing superfluous about your writing style, everything is clean and there to further your plot. Nell seems to be the more down-to-earth sister, while Bridget, with her fake southern accent, has a little more spunk. You've shown the difference in their personalities well, with just a few lines of dialogue during their phone call, without Nell as the MC making any extraneous observations. Well done. I am keeping this on my watch list so I can come back and read more.

Gail,
Chapter 1. Beautifully written. I love the descriptions of the mother, her fragile, blue veined beauty, the scent of lavendar and talc. The red bathrobe is the right talisman since it describes a lifetime of love between mother and daughter without maudlin words. Your teaser and pitch are so well crafted they immediately make it a book I want to read.
Only quibble I can find, the cover is attractive, but the door seems a little formal for a lakeside cottage.
A flawless beginning. High stars, on my watchlist for now.
Janet
The Milche Bride
Clarissa's Kitchen

Secrets we Keep - Is hugely compelling, intelligently and elegantly written, a poignant fast-paced page turner that grips from the first page until the last. I would have killed anyone who wrested this novel from my hands...It's compulsive, swift and riveting reading. Excellent characters who jump off the page, highly believable plotting with suspenseful pacing on each page.
Well done Kat xxx

Chapter 10 and your book is still fascinating. Admirable, intriguing, polished read.
Best wishes,
M

- Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

This book was such a pleasure to read! It was often difficult to put the book down. The author of this book was so descriptive that I always had a clear picture in my head for each setting, as well as the emotion that each character was experiencing as they experienced unexpected twists and turns. It's surprising that this book hasn't already been picked up by a publisher! I would (and have) been recommending this book to many!

Great characters, smooth writing and very suspenseful. You know things about men that most female authors do not. How do you know that? Jake is very well done, especially his pit of despair scene. No wonder this book is so popular with the male audience as well as women.

This books looks totally up my alley. I've just started reading and am enjoying it immensely. Just wanted you to know.

What a fascinating story, Gail. The opening (and core) dilemma is something I think all of us can relate to. How unsettling to find out her mother has another life, and I felt vested in Nell from the first chapter. I like your tight, well-paced narrative. This is easy to get into, easy to get hooked, and impossible to stop. So, this will be my last comment for tonight...I'm going back to read. High stars and you'll be on my shelf just as soon as I can make a place for it.

Lizzi
God of Wine

I've read the first chapter and am really impressed. The initial synopsis drew me in as your story sounds so interesting and full of potential twists and turns.

Your opening chapter is really strong. You introduce the key characters, the sisters, and also the dilemma they face with their mother in a hospital in a completely different state to where she lives. I am immediately asking questions and desperate to know answers!

The level of detail within your chapter is great, from the white sheets to the granite counter, it all helps your setting come alive and the world of your book seem three dimensional and tangible. The character's reactions also seemed realistic which helped draw me in to the story.

I really enjoyed this, it is the style of book I normally read, therefore I will be added this to my bookshelf and I will come back and read more chapters when I have more spare time! Great job, thank you for recommending we swap : )

Instantly drawn in by your beautiful descriptions of the scenery, I'm right there with the author from the word go, I want to read more as you have set such a scene. Your character descriptions as so detailed but interesting, I want to go to Vermont already and I have never been. I have picked up lots of punctuation and vocab tips from you too. Well done a well deserved 6 stars so far. Lou Holloway

Hello Gail,
Marvellous stuff. The writing is masterful and I have only one subjective criticism to offer.
It is such an evocative piece of writing you read it as a reader and a writer wondering why it works so well. There is little superfluous, descriptive words hit the nail satisfyingly on the head. Each character is distinct and strong.
There is the hook of the unknown BS regarding the mother and the mystery regarding her present condition which you delineate well. Personally, I could do we a little more darkness/tension in this respect. Old people do become ill suddenly so that particular dramatic impact is weakened for this reader as the clinical details suggest severe heart failure or pneumonia. That leaves the unknown house line as the hook which is interesting but is it sufficient to carry the curiosity of the reader?
6 stars and on my WL. Will consider shelving at next shuffle.
Thank you for a great read.
John
Dropping Babies - would appreciate a return read, Gail.

I've just read the first chapter and I can say that I am already hooked. I was intrigued by the pitch and subject matter and this chapter hasn't let me down. The characters, so far, are believable and well-drawn and I'm really looking forward to reading more. I can't find fault with this. On my Watch List for now and highly rated. Great job.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Hi Gail,

Just read the first 3 chapters. I LOVE this book. I can't read for any length of time on the computer... I'd love to have this on my kindle. Do you have it in kindle format by any chance (I actually went as far as to look it up on amazon but didn't find it)? I would love to read the whole thing, but I spend my whole day on the computer, I just can't read a book on it.

I don't have any comments or suggestions. Everything is polished, shiny as could be! I backed it... I joined authonomy thinking I probably wouldn't back much because I wasn't in it for the politics of getting to the editor's desk. That lasted two days... you're my first shelved book :-)
Good luck!

This isn't my usual genre. I'm more of a sci-fi/fantasy nerd, but my wife suggested it. I have to say I liked it. Your great writing and intriguing plot kept me hooked.

Editman

A very nice story which is also a compelling one and the reader gets trapped in the magic of words. Its not too early to say that you are a good storyteller. Highly rated and on my watch list now.

Just finished chapter three. So far, this is everything I want to find in a book. I am hooked and dying to know how the story unfolds. The layers of character complexity help to keep this from being a one-dimensional mystery. Much better than those that tend to insult the intelligence of the reader. The idea of having a secret life of my own, the selfish expectations of those that claim to love us, those themes are all evident from the beginning. I am already thinking of the friends I would recommend this book to. So far, I think it'd be a great book club read.

And can I say how much I have come to appreciate polished writing? This shines!

Hi Gail, I think this is fabulous. Your pitch and opening chapter, with the promise of a secret life to explore, immediately grabbed my attention and made me want to read on. The dialogue was very natural, the descriptions vivid without being cumbersome and your characters - in particular Nell - had clear, strong voices. I really enjoyed your writing style, which was very smooth and with no jarring lines at all!

Best of luck with it.

Oktober

I have read four chapters.
Intriguing story and I couldn't wait to begin.
From the very beginning your writing is beautifully descriptive and very moving. You have managed to keep me turning the page, wondering what mysteries are going to unfold next. Nell is a wonderful character and I feel for her intensely. I think you should reach the editers desk with no bother.
6 stars
Ruby Middleton
(Will Ryan)

I read the first couple of chapters. Your writing is sharp and intriguing. The way the story unwinds makes me want to read more but alas time is restricted. Well done
Regards, Red
Illusions of Comfort

Hi, Gail. I really enjoyed your first chapter! You've set up a very intriguing situation. It's well written, too. I will definitely shelve it and read on!

Definitely a book that makes the reader want more. In my opinion your descriptive writing is very good.
Its a good subject matter that I think will get a readers interest from the outset. A great book!

Definitely a book that makes the reader want more. In my opinion your descriptive writing is very good.
Its a good subject matter that I think will get a readers interest from the outset. A great book!

Secrets we Keep 12/02/2012

I thought the short pitch was good, the long pitch was a bit long and rambling for my taste but I am a fan of less is more in pitches and am very likely wrong. Please take anything I say with a huge pinch of salt. I comment as a reader and as I read and don’t pretend to be anything other than a wannabe writer.
The writing is very proficient I think and the dialogue believable and natural. I think you have captured the early confusion after such a call well.
Unless the laws in America are very different to the UK I am surprised that the volunteer is able to send Nell to her mother’s house and to give her the address.
The scene you paint of the countryside is really wonderful, it seems like a beautiful part of the world and you describe it with a vividness that makes it visible even though I have never been.

I’m impressed with the flow of this but at times the pace seems a little hurried for example the very quick leap to lawsuit time when she has no facts. I realise that some of that sort of thinking, for example the anger at the hospital could be put down to shock but there does seem to be a lot going on very quickly.
I do think that the characters are well drawn you seem to have a real talent for making your people very real, very quickly.

I thought that the daughter sounded rather young for a ten year old. My grandson is ten and has a better grasp of illness than Chicken Pox and Honey. Just an observation and of course they are all different.
I am very impressed by the quality of the writing and hope to come back and read more but in the meantime I will give you some nice star dust and wish you the best. I will definitely leave this on my watchlist for the time being and

I read a little bit of this because your blurb interested me. The beginning of chapter two really caught my attention. I wonder if starting there would give the reader a chance to know, and care, about the characters a little more? As I said, the story sounds interesting, something I would like to read.

Hi Gail,

I've read the first couple of chapters and I have to say you have an addictive writing voice - if it wasn't late here i'd be reading much more. It's all very polished and you've created a real sense of mystery. I admire it greatly. Hats off.

Millie
x

All twenty nine chapters now read and can safely say that all the characters live and are believable. The book is very well written and there is nothing that aggravates the eye or jars the mind. Fabulous read, can't wait for the remainder. 6 stars for a well told story.

Exciting, delightful read, professionally written.
A real treat!
I have just finished reading chapter 3, and look forward to reading more.
Backed and starred with very best wishes,
Marija

Hey Gail, Sorry it took me so long to get around to your work. After reading several chapters of your book, the first thought that came to my mind was, good things comes to those who wait. LOL This is definitely a good, no excellent thing. I am highly starring it and will be supporting your efforts in more than 1 way. And I'm not even done reading it yet. You definitely know how to keep a person intigued and turning the pages. Thats a sign of a true storyteller, which you are.