Book Jacket

 

rank 5457
word count 13061
date submitted 14.10.2011
date updated 31.03.2012
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Crime
classification: adult
incomplete

DEADLY SHAMROCKS II - IT'S ALL RELATIVE

JB REED

Rose O'Bannon learns she is more like her mother than she had realized when her cousin is kidnapped.

 

Rose Michelle O’Bannon was the daughter of Vivian Clancy O’Bannon and Michael O’Bannon. Although her father died when she was an infant, she grew up hearing stories of his bravery and courage. She was proud to be his daughter. Her mother was one of the most successful businesswomen in New York; building an antique business that was patronized by New York‘s most prominent citizens. One thing most people were not aware of regarding her parents was the fact they were both, in their early lives, hired killers. Rose herself did not learn this fact until she sat by her mother’s bedside while she lay dying. Another fact that Rose learned was that Michael was not her biological father. Rose was the product of a violent rape and beating. The day of her mother’s funeral was the first and only time Rose had the opportunity to meet her biological father, Tommy Flannery. After the funeral Rose speaks with Tommy who spins his relationship with her mother into anything but the truth. Rose takes matters into her own hands when she murders Tommy, just a few feet from her mother's grave.

 
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tags

crime, kidnapping, murder, revenge

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5 comments

 

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JBReed wrote 54 days ago

I have done some re-writes on this book and have uploaded some of the new chapters. Thanks.

JB,

I read a lot of your first chapter. There are still a few errors, and you suffer from te same problem I have - some of your descriptions are too wordy and there is unnecessary repitition.
I couldn't get the line "If he ever assigned a case to me I would have time to prepare for I would have a heart attack".
Also, when she is describing the cars tyres being slashed, the "After the guy changed the tyres, SHE told me..." and later he returns to being a guy.

However, not bad, some nice conversation - this can be used to tell the story, no need to then re-iterate with the narrative.

Warrick

JBReed wrote 54 days ago

You are so correct. Thank you for pointing that out.

I think your title is misspelled.

Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

riantorr wrote 60 days ago

I think your title is misspelled.

Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

Lara wrote 107 days ago

I think the plot holds a lot of possibilities. In 2, however, there is far too much dialogue, or at least, too unbroken by text.

Warrick Mayes wrote 222 days ago

JB,

I read a lot of your first chapter. There are still a few errors, and you suffer from te same problem I have - some of your descriptions are too wordy and there is unnecessary repitition.
I couldn't get the line "If he ever assigned a case to me I would have time to prepare for I would have a heart attack".
Also, when she is describing the cars tyres being slashed, the "After the guy changed the tyres, SHE told me..." and later he returns to being a guy.

However, not bad, some nice conversation - this can be used to tell the story, no need to then re-iterate with the narrative.

Warrick

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